Trauma, Triggers and Emotional Dysregulation: 10 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System w/ Anna Runkle

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Trauma has a massive impact on your nervous system and when you're triggered, it's hard to think clearly, it's stressful and it impacts your ability to function and your relationships.
Anna Runkle, aka Crappy Childhood Fairy, has a history of Childhood Trauma, abuse and CPTSD, but she has over 20 years of healing and teaching others the techniques that work for her to calm down when triggered by trauma.
Emotional dysregulation is the term therapists use to describe what happens when your brain essentially flips into fight, flight, or freeze mode, some kind of trigger sets your brain into high-alert mode and can make it hard to think. Being dysregulated or triggered can really mess up relationships and a history of trauma leaves some people triggered or dysregulated in a chronic way, but you really can learn to regulate your nervous system using simple skills that Anna teaches in this video.
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[@heartion]

(1) Notice that you're triggered (2) Say "I'm having an emotional reaction" or "I'm feeling triggered" (3) Make sure you're safe (4) Stamp your feet on the floor (5) Take 10 slow deep breaths (6) Sit down (7) Eat something (8) Wash your hands (9) Taking a cold shower (10) Get a good hug Thank you Anna.

[@lunadog71]

Thank you! I'm going to write them down right now, make copies and put them where I can see them, so that I can make them part of my mental tool set.

[@lolamarie3884]

Thank you David - just as I was thinking I’ve forgotten the tips already

[@k.8846]

Thank you David for writing the 10 Points. Thank you Anna for giving a name to the emotional Trigger. Sometimes my nervous system needs 14 days to regulate and i feel shame of my high sensitive. You help me to accept, that is the Trauma and it is a part of me. Next time when the Trigger is activ i will go in the cold shower...and try the other points. Sorry, for my english, my homespeech is german. Thank you so much🙏❤

[@MGUERRERO18]

Thank you David for summarizing Anna's strategies to self-regulate. This video was very helpful. Thank you Emma for having a wonderful guest as Anna.

[@SheenaSpeaks]

Not all heroes wewr capes. Those of us with comorbid ADHD thank you!

[@nau304]

Cold water on neck and hands. And shake, shake like dogs and animals after someone chases them. That's how they release cortisol. It hurts to know how much we have survived but since we are here now, we can make it 💙

[@sirprize5191]

I thought shaking was a trauma response (to release) that only animals had and humans had lost it due evolution. I saw it in TRE ( trauma release exercise. ) Is it different to that? Just shaking still does it? It makes little sense to me. It's just movement, similar to walking, there's no special system of TRE we can activate if you're just shaking. TRE required a specific move to fully tire out a muscle group. Simply shaking still does something apparently?

[@aliciacaudillo3517]

I shake my hands or jump to calm my self sometimes it works

[@amateurmeteorologist7365]

@@sirprize5191 humans definitely still do it but we tend to be taught not to because there's an association with shaking being "wrong" somehow - it's definitely worth a try if your body's okay with it

[@daion1247]

Hey !!!!! It sounds like you’re describing the Hokey Pokey. Thank you. Happy memories 🌈

[@arazemijo9674]

Thank you, this is really helpful. I often find myself trembling uncontrollably after feeling triggered but usually try to suppress it because it's scary

[@brendamoon2660]

Wow, stamping your feet when you're upset is one of the things kids are told not to do. Isn't it funny how we naturally know what to do but it's trained away

[@moonshineonme75013]

This should be taught in all of our children’s schools!

[@sadistickitten]

I school, my guidance counselor & I used to talk every day. I didn't tell her exactly what my parents did to me (emotional & physically abuse that I got as a kid & even up till 4 years ago when I stopped talking to my parents) but she knew by my behavior & how I was acting all the time. She tried to get me out once but no one believed that my parents were mean. They only saw them as "nice good catholic people" ha! Tell that to my missing childhood! So I went to her every day to talk about my day at school & at home. She was the best lady ever!

[@1browngirl29]

@@sadistickitten reading your comments struck a cord. I counsel in a school and feel joyous knowing you are getting support from a caring individual at school. I hope my students see that I care just like you noticed in your counsellor

[@sadistickitten]

@@1browngirl29 I'm not in school anymore, that was when I was a kid. I'm in my 40s now but the trauma from all my years of abuse are still there

[@sadistickitten]

@Susan Zollinger thanks, I am & will. She was 1 special lady & because of her I stopped commuting suicide. Started to fight for myself & she gave the courage to live every day

[@Compassion3333]

SERIOUSLY!!!! Emotional intelligence is JUST as important!!!! Healthy coping mechanisms too!!

[@erikallauren]

I’ve been doing this for 6 months and I’m getting better and better in self regulation. Please try it and don’t give up on yourself ❤

[@petyabor5223]

Hello! How are you feeling now?

[@wheathusk2499]

Eating, showering, literally -touching grass, being in nature, taking deep breaths helps. Also writing ur running thoughts on paper and expressing a little bit of that anger by venting may help too.

[@rw4898]

None of these work for me, except maybe the hugs. The only things that soothe me when I'm dysregulated are: crying it out; taking a hot bath; drinking warm liquids; lying on a heating pad under a weighted blanket. And meds. That's it.

[@vjr5261]

That’s awesome you know what works for you.

[@alexandriahutson3391]

This is me. I tend to cry or get angry and defensive when I’m upset because my cptsd causes my body to go haywire even in small disagreements or issues. People see me as over dramatic. Which causes even more tension in relating w others. I learned from Anna that I was dysregulated and it helped alot. I wish they would study BPD and childhood trauma more closely. It’s a really hard line to walk.

[@ashaduplessis2772]

They do and have but it requires research on your part. I've read many books on childhood trauma, the physiological reactions to it,how it affects the brain and CNS,and how it manifest in adults and attachment styles

[@jeanettecarnell8933]

I have had friends complain that they felt like they had to walk on eggshells around me. I am doing much better,but still get panic attacks,anxiety,triggered. Still have a lot more to do.thank you for the info.....

[@tihanaharrison6728]

@alexandriahutson3391 there's a book you might find helpful by Dr Daniel J. Fox called Complex BPD

[@strangerintheselands251]

7:20 - "Don't try to confront others or make decisions before you have your brain back online" - yeah... that's about how I quit my last job in a snap when they pressed the wrong button. And very good point about PROTEIN not sugar to help you ground again.

[@Totalinternalreflection]

I'm 43, the amount of catastrophic thinking, self hatred, anguish at the past I still feel that have totally dominated my life. I've spent most of the last 20 yrs bouncing between trauma bonding and limimernce i think you call it. No one I've ever loved has truly loved me back. It was alway me feeling more from a friendship than was or could ever be there or simply being used sexualy between that ive hidden in my flat using drugs and alcohol to cope. I'm trying to build a life from scratch right now but it's so hard. I'm trying to get into volunteering work and I'm learning to drive and I'm pushed to my absolute limits. I spend so much time crying and feeling like there's nothing in life left for me, and thinking my brain is so broken I can't learn to drive even.

[@annelbeab8124]

How are you now - a couple of months later ?

[@ESSIEMUMA]

Hope you getting better.

[@SandyBrookover]

It’s an injury….love that perspective

[@kitcat9214]

Yes!

[@katsong3302]

For a hug, can use a throw/blanket, wrap tight and it hugs the back . Thx for these tips

[@cmaggie5748]

It's also great to dnue w lots of blankets and pillows

[@christineferguson845]

Bless you 🙏

[@firetea775]

My biggest takeaway from this was that 'a part of your brain has switched off' for rational thinking. I feel this statement alone takes out the intense level of responsibility I feel for being triggered after the fact and I feel less guilty and embarrassed by the intense emotional reactions and behaviours that eventuate. I feel a sense of relief reminding myself that I am not defined by these reactions/behaviours.

[@PunnuCooks]

During covid i used to get crippling anxiety and panic attacks because of my father. I used to go to my room and keep my ukulele handy and everytime i was having a panic attack, i would just start playing. Literally anything. It saved me.

[@sambailie4773]

I had a dreadful childhood at the hands of my father.... Even now I have feelings come up when I see him.... It's hard....I have to be perfect or I'm useless to him....I'm so glad to know my worth is not in being no1 at everything constantly

[@khansherani]

Emotional dysregulation is a major symptom for many of the mental health issues, depression, anxiety, PTSD, CPTSD, Autism, BPD, Trauma, Asperger Syndrome any help to reregulate your symptom is a big win for all sufferers. More you practice, more at ease you are and less drama in life. Finally with more and more consciousness of your inner sensations, focusing techniques, Somatic Experiencing, befriending your sensations, being more aware of your inner world, hugging your inner child, doing loving compassionate inquiry, doing mindfulness helps you to address your core issue. It looks like too many names, but at core they are same, Feel your feelings and be friendly and in acceptance of them.

[@Devlins10]

I'm starting to think diet is in part perpetuating disregulation in many people including myself. Diet is paramount in conjunction with wonderful videos like these to help us on the healing path.

[@fascistscansuckit]

One of the worst aspects of this is that you can't predict when a dysregulation event will happen and w/o effective accessible tools, it brings an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness. Helplessness, to do anything about it. These tools are actually useful. Ty.

[@lindaainslie8578]

This would have come in handy yesterday. I was triggered in a bad way and ohhhh my... I'm glad I still have a job

[@hippopotamusanonymous1580]

I love that you acknowledge a person with a lived experience, sometimes you have to live it to truly understand.

[@annabellacrewe8858]

Yes, I still have that ! I am 70' now and cannot afford trauma therapy ! SO I shall listen to You, as well as I've listened to others for several years now !

[@Lissa11638]

🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜

[@annabellacrewe8858]

@@Lissa11638 unfortunately there is a ptsd I also have to struggle with and comes in the way all the time...It is very expencive to get the right treament !

[@MaricaIvica]

@@annabellacrewe8858 have you tried the daily practice.. and are you spiritual or believe in God. You can read books. But also working with something like hand work painting or learning a instrument, walking... some activity that relaxs you.. I have not much money so I am learning to play a guitar , I paint , Do the daily practice, I walk , pray... it helps but it took me weeks.

[@lapislazuliphoenix]

I find it interesting that it sounds so easy to pull out of an argument. Being a people pleaser I feel like that itself isn't easy. Being in a conflict I feel I'm not allowed to leave. I'm glad she gives us some examples of what to say. I also feel I want it to just be over, so it will be hard for me to want to come back to once I've escaped! It takes so much out of me just standing up for myself, I feel I need those extreme feelings before I can act on my behalf. Then to need to basically re-visit the argument/fight without my rage doesn't feel safe! How will I know they care about what I need to say, or will even listen? Conflict is fraught with extreme fear for me; I need to figure out that first. But, I totally love the idea of all my thoughts in a row, or organized so I don't look like some sad idiot in a fight I'll never win, because I don't have the tools, and can't express myself logically when triggered. I hope this makes sense. Any conflict turns on my triggers!

[@ABhattacharya]

I usually say "oh that's another conversation, I will save it another time"

[@ashleyiz2008]

I have dealt with (and I still struggle with) this exact problem. Conflict is very triggering for me and I essentially shut down in those instances. This happened a lot w my past job w my narcisstic boss and senior coworker who both loved conflict and would criticize me even more when I was shutting down. It was hell for someone who already gets triggered w conflict, but I learned that 1) don't be so hard on yourself for not speaking up loudly enough--even a small step where you stand up for yourself by excusing yourself from a conflict is a big deal if you struggle w ppl pleasing. Be proud of yourself when you assert yourself even if it seems small. 2) tell the other person that you need some time to think before getting back to them--and you don't even need to get back to them on the argument! Especially if the other person is not making the argument a safe and productive discussion. You're not obligated to get back to someone if they are being verbally abusive. 3) if you have a good relationship w the person/trust them and the conflict is making you feel overwhelmed bc there is yelling or elavated voices, ask if 'we can talk at a lower volume bc the raised voices is making it hard for you to continue the discussion' hopefully this will help calm the situation and they will respect you, if they don't though, this is a scenario where you should excuse yourself from the convo. I hope some of those tricks help, they helped me a lot. Allowing yourself to not be perfect w "standing up for yourself" really helped me bc I blamed myself for getting walked all over in arguments but honoring the small or imperfect ways in which I spoke up for myself really helped me. I wish you luck!

[@johnorsomeone4609]

So glad that you wrote this. I wondered, how do we handle it when we’re talking to someone toxic? It’s a sad truth but some people (not many, but they’re out there) *want* to trigger you or enjoy it when you are. I don’t know how to comfortably assert myself or even get away from them without losing my cool. It’s a pickle for me.

[@lapislazuliphoenix]

@@ashleyiz2008 Thank you for those tips Ashley; I'll practice saying them. 🙂

[@ashleyiz2008]

@@johnorsomeone4609 you don't need to keep talking to them then. It's hard, because we often a social obligation to continue the conversation, but if they are being hurtful/rude/etc. (and especially if they are doing this on purpose to get a reaction or because they find it fun) remember that you have no obligation to continue speaking with them. If you're in a situation where you can physically walk away, saying 'I gotta go/I have to be somewhere' could work. Or if it's a phone convo or a work/school situation where it's harder to just leave, just excuse yourself to the bathroom. You don't need to stay in the situation; trying to assert yourself w bullies is a setup--nothing you say is going to make the bully back down or stop, unfortunately, many of these bullies like the fight and enjoy seeing someone upset, so getting into it w them only fuels the fire. Sometimes, the best way to "stand up to them" is by totally disengaging from the situation, it's hard to fight w someone who ignores them, don't feel like you have to confront the bully. I know every situation is different, but I hope some of that helps. Best of luck.

[@spunkysparks1779]

I think people who have this disregulation are the best at helping others. It's a degree from the school of hard knocks!

[@Healinghandschildcare]

I love the depth of this womens tone and her smooth delivery

[@daniellechekel8866]

"I'm feeling an emotion" or "I'm feeling triggered" and taking a moment to breathe helps! Even minor triggers can be frustrating.

[@rsi4561]

Anna has helped me more than ANY therapist I have ever had. even the ones with PHDs. she is AMAZING. and REAL. love her.

[@Mika-kq1qd]

I love Anna and I love you thank you both for everything you do!! I completely believe that people who have healed their own trauma are the best able to understand with compassion grace and forgiveness what trauma feels like from a mental emotional and physical aspect

[@christchaik8317]

I already apply some of these tips unconsciously, so it's great to actually hear them verbalized so eloquently by someone as deeply as empathetic as Anne. Her level of insight and her choice of very relatable words makes her stand out. I don't know a better person on the topic of CPTSD.

[@SongofaBeach2012]

I appreciate videos like this that help me understand how my (many) traumas manifest physically. I just wish there was a way to completely heal from trauma but maybe in my next life I wont be so effed up. All of us have to just do our best and be kind to ourselves and one another. ((Big hugs)) to all my trauma survivors..we're gonna be alright!

[@mensesmimi]

1) Notice you are triggered. 2) Say to yourself "I am feeling triggered" or "I am having an emotional reaction" 3) Make sure you're safe. Separate/excuse yourself from the situation or conversation however possible and defer until you are less triggered. 4) Stomp your feet on the ground, say "left, right" as you stomp to ground yourself into your body. 5) Take 10 deep breaths. Push your tongue against the back of your teeth. 6) Sit down and feel the weight of yourself in the chair. 7) Eat a protein-rich snack to ground yourself. 8) Wash your hands. 9) Take a cold shower. 10) Get a squeezing hug or hug yourself. Push yourself into a corner, and wrap your arms around yourself.

[@ashleyjeffers8185]

I LOVE SEEING YOU GUYS COLABORATE! I watch you both independently and resonate alot with crappy childhood fairy. Thank you both for you work! ❤

[@gostrum1]

Ditto

[@raelee1588]

Double Ditto here ! WOW ! Awesome !!!

[@sanhara2747]

I very very rarely leave comments. This episode has changed my on life. . I have gone from 0% to 10 million % in 3 seconds for years. Triggered equaled red rage. I now know what has been causing this. I am going to tell my counselor and start working on this.

[@kumaranpillay5305]

Have a teenager of 17 years with a diagnosis of Autism . Who can self regulate. Thank God. This content is brilliant. Gives us a better understanding to be more sensitve to heal each other.

[@jmc8076]

He’s ahead of many adults. No doubt from lots of love and support. He and you may like Sleep Cove’s bedtime stories w/soothing Brit accent. Husb’s friends have two adult autistic sons 30ish. They both have good jobs w/govt (repetitive tasks) and share a condo. Ones a bit older and higher functioning so he drives and helps the younger. Parents phone weekly and visit often but not too often. Husb says they were raised as abled not dis/abled and yes with some specific resources. ✌️

[@Krystal620]

It’s wonderful women like you that help woman like me, to survive and thrive! You save lives! So much appreciation for what you two do! Thank you! 🙏🙋‍♀️❤️

[@nessalight8681]

Yes Ive had this. I had it today. And I recognized it for the first time without having a panic attack. Sometimes to the point of disassociating because its so scary and painful. This video was just so helpful in identifying it. It was triggered by a party I hosted. Being vulnerable or intimate with anyone triggers it. This is a huge reason why I have not had a romantic relationship in years

[@BeautifulDreamerK]

I dealt with childhood trauma when I was in college and took advantage of their counseling. It was my “almost adult free therapy”. It helped a lot with my mindset. I’m not perfect but I’m a better version of myself and will continue to be better. I’m out of quicksand of childhood trauma. Here’s the kicker- I lived with in laws for the past 2 years to save for our house. It was like Re-entering childhood trauma but in another dimension. I realized I was living as an outlaw with narcissistic in laws. Now that we have our own place, I think I need to start going to counseling again but excited for the opportunity to heal

[@Nyx773]

I really hope that in the long run it isn't necessary to spend as much in counseling as you did on the money you saved. Sanity is priceless.

[@sanhara2747]

So happy for u. Anxiety is something else. I get anxious and easily angeredd like rage 😒

[@jmc8076]

Sometimes universe/life tests us and sends the same/similar lessons guised in diff faces and costumes. Dance of life. Two steps fwd one back. Not a race or competition and no finish line. Maybe just more better days if we keep trying.

[@Twinmama143]

@@jmc8076 ❤ yes

[@Twinmama143]

I lived with my in-laws too to save for a house. I don’t know how I allowed that! Plus, he decided to buy out of state and I was in misery debating on this decision. God so much trauma from moving and leaving him in the end.

[@Micah7-8]

Well I can honestly say as one who’s battle a lifetime; learning techniques are very critical in your time of need. If you don’t stop to do something on purpose when you need to do it, then we’re going to lose things along the way. I also appreciate somebody coming in and sharing as well who’s not licensed or has a major degree. Often times I have found it more helpful with those who have walked through it, and experienced it to be the most helpful people in the world! Thank you!!! 😊

[@Ladybird22373]

I’m having a resurgence of long COVID symptoms I had in 2020 . It’s making me in to a wreak thinking of going back there again ! . I’m triggered everyday by these & it’s making me cry like a child.

[@TYGZus777]

It's really frustrating when I try to be friendly and it's meet with coldness. I feel as though I am really trying to be open, yet so many people see me as not friendly.??? That's where I get triggered and I can't contain my frustration. Then, I get a reputation of being rude, mean, or something along those lines. I don't understand people at all. They all seem to understand each other just fine. My biggest disappointment in life as an adult is the realization that the middle school cliques are the reality for ever, and I'm not invited. I'm a good person. I have a lot to offer, but no one to share with. I wish I understood.

[@77Tadams]

I feel ya so hard. 45 here and I am an alcoholic. I use to try hard but I ruin it all.

[@loribothwell5493]

Don't change or withdraw your friendly nature. Most people are insecure

[@enice617]

Anna Runkle saved my life 😢❤

[@hmghff]

Two of my favourite mental health folks in the same video… amazing, thank you ❤

[@JW-rw8fq]

Emotional dis regulation. “Dis regulated” Thank you (both) for giving it a name, a description, an explanation and a way to get out of it! This is SO helpful! 👍🏻😊☀️

[@GoatGamingCanada]

Only cause I googled, look up "dysregulation ".... I found some interesting resources to help in addition to this! (I have complex PTSD)

[@lailahreich3205]

Also, I cannot pause and walk away from work situations. I am super triggered at work.

[@e23779]

This does seem pretty privileged in terms of assuming people have control over their time and space. So I say this with caution because I realize not everyone has the same options. But it might be worth looking into different work. Sometimes people with trauma take a self-punishing approach to work. Maybe you can find a way to change your situation to something that’s not constantly challenging your limits. Barring that, you could potentially do some cognitive behavioral style work around helping the types of situations that repeatedly trigger you seem less momentous.

[@tonyaf.6211]

These are great tips, thank you! Question: I’m struggling with #3 with respect to excusing myself. Isn’t it tantamount to the flee response? (In my relationship I tend to hit fight (screaming to be heard), then flee (when I’m not). My partner is also a trauma survivor and he doesn’t stop when I ask him to stop.) Sharing: As I listened to the list, I found myself grouping them into simple steps. I thought I’d share, in case anyone finds this helpful. (Hopefully helpful, rather than disrespectful.) 1. Acknowledge the trigger: recognize it, communicate it (to yourself, to others if you choose). 2. Find a safe space: pause a conversation, excuse yourself, stop driving etc. 3. Get grounded in your body/the present: stamp your feet, breathe long and slow, sit down, wash your hands, take a cold shower, (*eat something). 4. Self-soothe: get/give yourself a good hug, (*eat something). *I think of eating as comforting, so that’s where it naturally goes for me, but may be a grounding activity for others, especially those with greater mindfulness practices than I have.

[@cvermette]

Question: what if family members are the BIGGEST triggers? How does one deal with that? I think that question is worthy of a whole show.

[@lasarelight]

Step back, step back, step back! 💜💜💜

[@nadaahmed3439]

Read a book for Dr Ramani Durvasula has a book called “should I leave or stay” I think it would give you the answer.

[@zion888]

Sometimes we have to remove weight that keep us down and out. We can only fix ourselves, we can't change others no matter how hard we try or want to.

[@ReneeHarmon-q4k]

This was very helpful, I’ve suffered from CPTSD for years and it seems I always make it worse by not walking away from toxic people or situations, and instead I just dwell in my anger and upset feelings. It’s exhausting, and I always felt trapped in this cycle. This video reminds me that my reactions to triggers can change through practice.

[@annaread3829]

Two of my favorite ladies on Utube! You have both helped me so much! Anna has given a name to things I’ve struggled with my entire life!

[@reneeelias9514]

OMG! You are speaking to me. I had a nurse many many years ago tell me i was suffering from ptsd after telling her about my childhood. No one before or after ever said this to me again. Thank you.

[@andrewmcnulty6789]

I washed my hands earlier after partaking in a spot of cleaning and I did notice that I felt calmer, this happened only around 3 hours ago then I watch this video on KZbin - I guess someone really does love me.

[@toriahennesey]

Two favourite youtubers in one video?! Champion!

[@stephm5877]

Most helpful thing for me was quitting all sugar and caffeine and drinking only water. I also take 5 deep breaths...quick in and slow out 3-5 times per day. Huge difference over time. I still have sugar, but only after an event or conversation or on a day where I'm just at home. If I get anxious before speaking, I just tell myself I'm excited and it helps.

[@sieunpark3436]

Noticing whether I am triggered was not easy in the beginning. When I noticed it, it was already hard to get out of the situation making me triggered. I made a time to sit down to think about the situation making me triggered and had something to eat, and I realized that I am changed, not others. My behavior makes a difference!

[@RaulSalazar-xe6po]

THX doc, this is great,You are a gentle hand For those that cannot afford therapy

[@chakaylaaustin8808]

God bless you. I can finally start my healing journey from Childhood PTSD and emotional dysregulation. Thank you God for this woman!

[@godzillamanstreb524]

My late husband was like this, but we didn’t have the name for it…..he eventually was diagnosed w/cptsd, unfortunately his body paid the price of years of dysregulation & he suffered a premature demise🎩💙

[@rhondasmith7413]

🥺

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you Ladies! Healing is possible.

[@riley-ferguson-]

Very grateful for your channel, and especially for your video today. Myself, I had no great childhood (teen years) at all and now in my mid 30s I’m still trying to process and deal with things. Lots of love and support from Winnipeg,Manitoba, Canada 🫶🏼🌟🫶🏼🫶🏼

[@GoatGamingCanada]

Congrats to you and your family on the new little one!!! Hope all is well, and thanks once again for a great video!

[@GODisGood.8]

Congrats on the new baby. Hope you’re both doing well ♥️

[@thesocialintrovertchronicles]

Thanks Emma, Anna ..... Anna was fantastic, finally someone talks about this deep triggered adrenaline rush in a way that makes me know they understand how I feel when I say since experiencing trauma from domestic abuse from my ex. Am definitely going to put these tips in action 🆘

[@mrandersong1]

She’s on point. Not only childhood trauma but religion does too. It’s to where u sense threats and all the time and causes a wide range of mental illness. I’m lucky to be alive because of these two reasons. Constant work to overcome them.

[@thefuzzfactor2989]

I don't know what religion you refer to but I think it would be very helpful if you could get that ironed out and it should be free unless it was a cult. I find that my religion helps me a lot.

[@Godfailedyoustophumpinghisleg]

​@@thefuzzfactor2989The illusion of a positive force emanating through the universe is a nice thought, but what is religion really good for if you already have a fundamental belief of the good that humanity is capable while reconciling their current and past terrible behavior. Religion seems like a cop out for needing a positive authority when there isn't one. There is no God other than the self, and the self can be a cruel God or a kind God. So if all of us treated ourselves and each other as we would treat God or wanted to be treated by God, what's the purpose of religion needing humanity to subjugate to something rather than to empower us all?

[@vanyakolesheva7770]

I am so thankful for your work, Anna! You have helped me with your videos so much!!

[@balto1217]

Wow! Clear, easy to understand and straight to the point tips. These are great for everybody! One of the best videos for self-regulation that I’ve watched in a long time. I’m going to try a few of these in my classroom. Thank you for the quality content. ❤🇨🇦

[@ekenechristyike5461]

You don't know how you've helped me .. I. really really appreciate you. God bless you both. Praise God!😇

[@jessicathompson-gautreaux5992]

My 2 favorite KZbin therapists in one video... Awesome!!

[@g.paradise5972]

Oh my goodness! You two are my favorites on KZbin for counseling and therapy. Love the collaboration. Thank you for helping so many. ❤

[@rossanaechevarria7858]

You both are love and light. 🎇

[@rebeccajones8628]

Two of my favorite youtube helpers. What a treat!

[@sneakyprince1899]

I shed a few tears watching this, this is exactly what I needed. ❤️

[@blackline66]

Me too

[@maddievic2]

THE CROSSOVER I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED love you both

[@nickki595]

It has been a godsend to me to have found both yours and Anna's site. So many practical tools that no one ever offered to me. Is making a huge difference in my life. 💕💕

[@benjamindover4337]

Thank you for these tips Anna. I've struggled with this during job interviews when questions about the past stir up triggering memories and really spoil my mood at that critical moment. I'll think about what you said to better deal with this.

[@debbylou5729]

I'm thinking this isn't true. Interviewers don't have time for listening to crap about your past

[@Jo-lp1px]

@@debbylou5729 Anna is not suggesting for one to talk about their past, but to get back in one’s body like paying attention to your weight on chair and other things she suggested.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

Benjamin, If you have issues of overthinking and anxiety then to feel better reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly [psychosomatic problems]. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime, neck straight and eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, etc with eyes open or closed. Make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

[@l.5832]

@@debbylou5729 Actually, if you've experienced narcissistic abuse in the workplace it IS difficult. I have had interviewers ask me "How would you rate your previous boss?' ("STUPID question....I left there, remember?) They do want you to talk about your previous jobs and perhaps why you left. I had a drunken boss assault me. I don't want to talk about that job at all. In interviews I've had, over half of the interview is dedicated to talking about the past....past jobs, past experience, past education. And we are desperately trying to put away our past.

[@debbylou5729]

@@l.5832 these sound like a lot of weird questions. How would you rate your boss?! There's got to be some clever answer to turn that around. SOMETHING. Sometimes I throw myself on their mercy, like ' I don't think I qualify to judge. I'm sure he deals with with a lot of issues I'm unaware of. '. There, ambiguous, humble and not a lie. Humor is what saved me. I just picture myself in a sitcom......no one would believe any of this shit

[@ems11388]

Congratulations Emma and family on baby Hazel. I hope her big sisters are so very excited. Thanks for this Anna. Absolute perfect timing to see this

[@josephmontervino7629]

People like you are the reason my life is saved. Putting the info out about such issues that a lot of people have. Thanks 🙏

[@jane_7193]

Anna is terrific!

[@nickydietrich5924]

I think these are helpful, but I really want to bring this to your attention. Most of these are not appropriate if you work in a people facing job. You cannot take 10 breaths if you're a teacher. You cannot wash your hands if you're in a lesson. You cannot take a cold shower. I can stamp my feet on the floor and and I can touch my tongue on the back of my teeth because no one can see me doing that even if they're looking right at me, but I think when you're thinking of self soothing responses it's worth bearing this in mind as well. Sometimes we're in a situation where we cannot take a break from 8am to 1pm. We are people facing without a single break where we cannot get space or remove ourselves from the situation. We're trapped and I think ultimately that's what causes CPTSD in the first place isn't it. We're in a situation where we cannot escape and we cannot show any emotion. I've started saying to myself. This is meaningless and what you're thinking now is meaningless. Even though it sounds harsh and criical, it's meant in a spiritual sense. That this exchange ultimately has no real sense of meaning.

[@patdenman3887]

Agreed. My feeling exactly. Terror ized when leaving my house for fear of falling. So confined inside, helpless to leave and exploited by family!!😂

[@laurawidman2531]

fingertip tapping helps..discrete

[@emiemieli]

The way this information was put together was so helpful and cohesive. As someone who works in the professional mental health field, sometimes I need a reminder on how to regulate myself and this was fantastic. Will be sharing this with my clients! Thank you

[@Amarideout]

It has been a constant of late...thank you for these beautiful and life saving tools!🌷🌸🌺🌻🌹

[@Chopsyochops]

Thank you so much for this video. I have been using food to settle my state when I am triggered into complex ptsd. I’m going to start trying stamping my feet and washing my hands from now on. I finally have hope that I can lose the weight from stopping the eating to self sooth. Do not eat to self soothe guys. I did and I gained so much weight that it gave me a stroke after 7 years of using food as a soother. Don’t do it!!!!

[@katiegriffin3286]

I was binge eating sugary food.

[@brigitterose562]

I've been to therapy many times for this exact reason and not one therapist explained this to me. I was kinda left feeling like I was just erratic and it was my fault and I just need to learn how to control myself and get it together. Thank you for this. I feel so validated and much less "crazy" for my reactions and outbursts. lol

[@rushiaskinnerwallace6175]

Congrats on the new wee one and all the best wishes as you navigate the early days of welcoming and adjusting. Welcome to the world, baby! Anna is a favorite. What a great collab. 🙏🏼❤️🌈😊

[@80Vikram]

Congratulations on arrival of new family member, god bless you all

[@cynthiahoward2285]

Congrats on your new baby! Thanks to you and Anna for all of your help.

[@sadistickitten]

Emma thanks for having her on here. Watching this made me cry thinking about my childhood trauma. It's weird how it will hit me bam! And sometimes I don't even know why, it's just there. I freeze up & I can't think, I get locked up in it hard to react. I've been working on it but it still shows up at times. I found a breathing technique that works when I get flashbacks those don't happen too much anymore thankfully. But it helps to breathe through it & tell myself I'm safe I'm ok. These tips will help me & I will try my hardest to notice a trigger sometimes it's not so easy to see but I will make more of an effort next time. Saving for future use tyvm both of you ♥️

[@Zneiero]

Another near loss almost happened in my family last month and my dormanf PTSD returned. I had no one to talk to so I shared with my coworkers my experiences and feelings. Of course, now I feel ashamed of having said anything. They are NOT people you should be sharing your feelings with looking for sympathy!

[@carollizc]

Kids are one of my big triggers. When they're doing stuff that I would get in trouble for, or my siblings would so, and I'd get in trouble for, I react. I tell, I scream, my body feels both cold *and* hot, and then somebody, usually another adult will tell me that I'm overreacting. I'll yell back that no, I'm not, they have to learn to not do whatever, and it spirals from there. Now I know that I can always say to the kids that I need a time out. It works. I walk away physically from the situation, and take those deep breaths. It helps, and now I know why. Thank you.

[@stampandscrap7494]

So glad that you have found a solution to this

[@nejkas9577]

Thank you for this, it explains so much about what I've been experiencing throughout my life.

[@reginalynnbush]

Yes, it will make a great difference in my life. I created a whole world for myself to function during disregulation. I would feel like I was being "taken away", yet had to go to school, work or take care of my child. It was like I was sleepwalking through it. Thank you so much!

[@ashleyhoover5463]

You’re literally helping me understand myself. You’re amazing at what you do. I love your channel. Thank you so so much.

[@Theowlhawk]

Thank you soooo much. Experiencing disregulation that can feel like it restricts my life .

[@JohannaVeerenhuis]

Dear Emma, thank you so much for continuing your channel, thank you Anna for helping us. Emma, well, congratulations on your newborn!! I hope all went well and everyone is happy and healthy!! 💞 And eh… not to brag or something… 😁 but tip nr. 4 is such a nice confirmation that I chose my self-therapy rightly, by picking up tapdancing… I stamp my feet every day!! In the most cheerful way. 😃😘

[@zoeelisebell]

the fact that i needed this so desperately thank you guys so much

[@lolamarie3884]

I love what you all do,all of these free resources and information are extremely helpful and I can’t thank you enough!!

[@alexvevo2901]

I feel like I should say this, this brought back a memory where at my old job they FORCED me to continue to work while being uncomfortable in many situations just to get the work completed. With no chance to walk away or voice my trigger. The manager quote said " I was being to emotional and acting like a victim". That karma is going to come back around.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

On your job you were dealing with narcissists. I've been there.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Boundaries!! Or get another job!

[@TheJilayne]

What a great collaboration! I watch both of you ladies, and what a wealth of knowledge and support. We're so blessed to have folks like you share your knowledge and experience with us on this platform. It has helped me so much.

[@insightandintuition276]

Congratulations Emma on your new baby. Being a woman who has maintained a 100 pound weight loss for over 20 years I can tell you to be very cautious when using food to ground yourself. As far as breathing it seems as though there is some thing that blocks my ability to take a deep breath when I am in the throes of…. lastly I am wondering if either of you ever had a need for antidepressants to help Neuro plasticizing :-) your brain? “ when it’s hysterical it’s historical“😮

[@norazaki2617]

Absolutely loved this video! Thanks. Muslims use water in the act of purification before prayer, called wudu. We pray at least five times a day and I find that when I'm also angry, taking wudu helps me to calm down.

[@joanryan2242]

Thank you Emma...hope you and your baby are doing well .Remember to look after yourself .❤You are so inspiring. God bless.

[@dmix2263]

You touched on so much. I’m almost overwhelmed with how much I relate to. But here lies another thought, and my question. ????Why do I feel the need to share this with people who don’t understand me??? The people in my family do not engage with me. I have a tremendous amount of self doubt but do feel empowered with learning something that may explain. If only I could enjoy what is left of my life and feel loved by my family. This is where I struggle and I know that I can get some of my needs met spiritually too if my perspective and focus isn’t dysregulating .

[@tierras760]

I have cptsd and this was so validating and helpful. Thanks so much for putting out content like this, it genuinely changes lives!