Black and white thinking makes reaching goals even harder.
@anz105 жыл бұрын
Yeh cz no-one can do anything without also making mistakes so true !
@millsykooksy48634 жыл бұрын
Yes!!!!
@jackcroydon2772 Жыл бұрын
Yes 5 steps forwards 10 big self sabotaging steps back 🙈
@abladeofgrass10034 жыл бұрын
"Life is not about feeling better, but being better at feeling" 💜🌱💜🌱💜
@ilhamabubaker39854 жыл бұрын
BlaaQ Hippie 💜🌹💜🌹💜
@ok-no9ih2 жыл бұрын
Omg
@abladeofgrass10032 жыл бұрын
This is not entirely true, you feel better when Christ restores your life.🙏🥰 I'm a believer, and I love the Lord. He is the way the truth the life🍂🌼💛🙌🌷🙌
@wandalee50104 жыл бұрын
This is great, I used to say the quickest way to start an argument is to start it with You Never or Always, because nobody never or always does anything. I think love and acceptance is found in the grey areas. I’m a work in progress, but aren’t we all?
@marionrobinson34 жыл бұрын
❤
@Anonymous-vk5bt3 жыл бұрын
Got me in the feels with this one ☝️
@carolpridgeon82003 жыл бұрын
thank you so much for your comment!
@sarahblunden43723 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of : There are two people who live in the house called Somebody and Nobody, Somebody has to do a job but nobody does it lol
@jotsnaprasad39402 жыл бұрын
Pllaq
@karl-heinzbickelhaupt36694 жыл бұрын
This might be black and white thinking, but I am convinced that this woman is an angel.
@val-id8vi10 ай бұрын
Same
@KaoGi5 жыл бұрын
I love her voice, so soothing
@AnthonyJ744 жыл бұрын
Agreed. She has a very beautiful voice. It's simultaneously powerful and soothing.
@kathymyers72794 жыл бұрын
Giang Cao I HATE the way she says “cowlm” like her mouth is full of marbles. It’s calm. Ahhhh. That’s better.
@pattyayers4 жыл бұрын
Kathy Myers - I think I liked it better without the hate
@Hugozen4 жыл бұрын
Yes, I would like to listen to everything she said.
@bethwanjeri8624 жыл бұрын
Totally. Very superior voice and communication qualities.
@w__c4 жыл бұрын
Glad I found you. It's like I have a personal therapist, only virtually.
@vg70834 жыл бұрын
For free!
@stfuitsjuan71193 жыл бұрын
Me too
@jojogrzy19043 жыл бұрын
Me three! 🧘🏻♀️
@ihateeverything63fu3 жыл бұрын
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣
@cupcakee223 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@rajivkrishnatr4 жыл бұрын
I think it's my fear of having to feel uncertainty, rejection and sadness that makes me so anxious. I even lost a lot of hair due to this which added to my self esteem issues. But I'm getting better everyday, picking up pieces and growing ever more with ease at myself. Thank you...
@Alphacentauri8194 жыл бұрын
A very empowering counter to that is learning to change your subconscious programa that lead to those fears. The Personal Development School is so transformative. I found Thais (the owner) on KZbin and realized I had an insecure attachment style, fearful avoidant. I watched her videos for months and my thinking kept changing for the better. I am learning how to connect to myself, feel my feelings, have less fear! I give you recognition for realizing its your fear driving you. I hope for you healing and empowerment!
@Sarahizahhsum3 жыл бұрын
There's a potential that it hurts so badly because of a nutrient deficiency. May want to get tested and see about your diet. ☺️ Still, these tools are great as well for helping to feel all emotions. I feel mine so strongly that I get burnt for a few days after haha. The numbness is part of my personal experience I guess.
@rajivkrishnatr3 жыл бұрын
@@Alphacentauri819 thanks, will check it out
@true88432 жыл бұрын
I hope you are so well... I feel like I understand your comment.
@joshuataylor35502 жыл бұрын
Did your hair thicken again after?
@WoundedWarrior775 ай бұрын
I remember in my teens actually writing out my negative thoughts and looking at the cognitive list of distortions and seeing where my thoughts were distorted. It worked and helped me get out of my depression. The hardest part is doing the work and actually writing down your thoughts and defusing them. I’m going to try this again.
@Jpjohnnyp5 жыл бұрын
I tell myself I'm busy when I'm actually not, and it's only a few things for me to do on some days. And yet this black and white thinking would make even a few things to do feel like and become days worth of wasted effort in worrying and catastrophizing. Sometimes I can't do the things that used to make me happy, like drawing or even just a videogame, because I'm extremely hard on myself. Even though I've searched topics like this online, this video was concise and covered everything I needed to know. Thank you!!
@TherapyinaNutshell5 жыл бұрын
Glad to hear you found it helpful, thanks for your comment :)
@zaye4004 жыл бұрын
“Getting better at feeling”.....that struck a cord
@JB-jd8vv2 жыл бұрын
As someone with CPTSD this is simply the vocabulary I grew up with. My father would say "it's black or white, yes or no, do or die!!!" This is a direct quote he used frequently. So I grew up feeling constantly misunderstood because the vocabulary I had learned was emotionally charged and did not match how I felt. I often upset people with my powerful language and frequently had to re-explain multiple times to make amends 😥
@RoelVandePaar2 жыл бұрын
Black and white thinking can also be a measure of [exerted] control. It's easier then allowing grey, or lo and behold, color, into the picture.
@Dumawix3 жыл бұрын
You saved me Emma 😢, but I am still dipressed to observe your content did not have as many views as it deserves, You Are The Best 👍👍
@StarrshineFreedomLover4 жыл бұрын
As an LMFT in CA. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your service here on your passion project! I think that you are wonderful, so relatable, warm and authentic. And the information that you are sharing is so helpful. I appreciate you!!!
@ashleyaragon19543 жыл бұрын
Rewrer
@jld48702 жыл бұрын
Curious Starr have how much do you look at trauma and how it affects the brain when working with others? I ask because for many years I was told what was wrong with me-diagnosed-vs what happened to me. In this last year I have been beyond enlightened by reading ‘The body keeps the score’, the ‘Polyvagal Theory’, watching ‘The wisdom of trauma’ and ‘The work’. I pray all practitioners will too learn from others who I believe have many answers for so many folks who suffer needlessly-being victimized again by hearing what is wrong with them, vs allowing their pain to be heard and to be told it is NOT your fault!! And Thank you for your heart of service!
@heidim90194 жыл бұрын
This just explained my entire life. Priceless.
@Reree-gz5bg3 жыл бұрын
Same 🙈
@1156Treecat Жыл бұрын
Ditto!!!
@ashleystewart61342 жыл бұрын
I want to thank you for doing this. I recently attempted suicide in April and ever since that I have been riddled with anxiety. Though I have an appointment set up with a therapist now, your video about separation from your thoughts has helped me immensely after giving it just one shot. I know its still going to take work but its helped me relieve a lot of the discomfort I was or am experiencing.
@adelacozlac3662 жыл бұрын
Take care! Sending lots of hugs! You are loved!🤗💙
@ashmit36752 жыл бұрын
Take care buddy
@Andrewtatesbutt Жыл бұрын
Hey buddy ❤. How are you now ?
@bobjasper48053 жыл бұрын
with subtlety.. this lady had delivered a profound path out of most mental issues .. one thing I can say ., thank you
@banderas20003 жыл бұрын
can't lie i been soul searching and i know alot of my negative thinking is around what others think about me and if i am good enough. also i do go to the worse possible scenario in my mind. I been doing better with standing up for myself, asking for what i want , ect. i am hard on myself and i am changing it. it's hard but i am trying. i like that quote " when we change the way we look at things , the things u look at change." focus on the posititive.
@azntoastx2 жыл бұрын
I'm a really analytical thinker, but the way I view myself, my life and the events that occur around me is completely different compared to when thinking of others or my job. It's become extremely unhealthy and for the past month I've really been in another low. Thank you for this content!
@AvitalShtap5 жыл бұрын
I know this is a breakthrough when I start tearing and choking up at work. WOW, this absolutely applies to me and my mom, even as I type this comment I notice it. I am guilty of every single thing you mentioned. Thank you so much for this.
@amberwilson57693 жыл бұрын
Get off youtube at work!!!
@vicaramelia95193 жыл бұрын
@@amberwilson5769 you must be a joy to be around
@lorrainecisecki79592 жыл бұрын
I live with a very much black and white individual, your insight has been helpful. Thank you! …
@nnnnnnnnnataliem3 жыл бұрын
"increase our capacity to experience ambiguity" 💗 Getting better all the time. I used to refuse to see people as bad but sometimes they do evil things, and then the pendulum swung to everyone is bad. But neither is true, we're a mix and it's easier for me to see people as more complex now. Crazy when you've grown a little and you look back like "why did I think that way, how many other people still think that way" Love your channel 😌💕
@tomlovejoy21417 ай бұрын
Very helpful!! I’ve experienced symptoms of GAD and I feel the older I get the more pronounced the symptoms. When I have a bad day at work I tend to resort to black and white thinking and taking everything negative personally. How can I not??? With negative feedback I discount the positive feedback entirely. I think working on this is a journey to retrain my mind
@lime9227 Жыл бұрын
This is me😢. I always fear change and reject myself and can't accept anything coming in life. I create situation and fight with everyone in my mind.
@excellence36054 жыл бұрын
Hi Emma, i have been reading brain sciences books / literatures for quite sometime now. But i must accept, this is probably the best resources I have found. The good part is that you explain things in a crisp and simply way. Thank you
@Siam22332 жыл бұрын
Thank you. It's actually stunning how much black and white thinking has shaped my life and my beliefs. Nuance is so important
@candyk.61424 жыл бұрын
I’m not 5. Feelings or sensations or flare ups are not my best tools. I chose staying the course. I’m truly happier being stable and understood and lastly I like predictability.
@sharenreneeparish20403 жыл бұрын
I’m So Very Thankful For You & My Co-Worker Mr. Winters Who Recommend Your Videos To Me. Let The Healing ❤️🩹 Begin…
@ashstubbings26032 жыл бұрын
When I had therapy a few years ago, we (my therapist and I) identified that there was an awful lot of my thinking that was 'black and white' or 'all or nothing' thinking. Thankfully I seemed to have dealt with a lot of it, although I do still have problems with this at times, so your video was very useful to me. Thank you.
@timgorman20903 жыл бұрын
Okay; I’m not making Emma out to be ‘perfect’- but she sure is a great blessing!
@ljkoh20052000able3 жыл бұрын
Depression for me starts and ends with one obsessive thought. "I'm a failure."- I have to see this thought in a different perspective.
@moirosalina4 жыл бұрын
'Getting better at feeling' is going in my journal as a reminder. This was helpfull, thank you
@realgena13 жыл бұрын
I knew what black and white thinking was, but this really deepened my understanding. Thank you so much!
@dkp18072 жыл бұрын
So appreciate you..you give description of behavior then helpful tools. Thank you!
@akim3355 Жыл бұрын
I didn't know until now that I tend to think like black and white thinking and make the situation worse than it is. I think recognition is a good start so need to make myself aware of my thinking and improve my condition.
@edzanjero3534 жыл бұрын
The environment which occurs immediately to me in hearing these words is in modern American Evangelicalism. Helping traumatized people out of black and white thinking is a true service to mankind...and by a beautiful, intelligent woman at that.
@Generation-Faith3 жыл бұрын
Right exactly, It excuses the very fact that we have been through shit and now it is our fault and we need to take responsibility
@RuthGriffen3 жыл бұрын
Black and white thinking is AKA all or nothing thinking. notice the signs of extreme thinking, challenge those thoughts by searching for truth in it, replacing those thoughts with moderate views, increase willingness to feel all emotions, tolerance for complex situations and hold on to discomfort are a few steps that can help one to gradually change their thinking.
@YathieshHS3 жыл бұрын
The voice itself is soo therapeutic , Thanks for sharing
@Sheilanagig Жыл бұрын
I'm going back to therapy soon to address this problem. When I'm stressed I revert to black and white thinking, especially with my self-talk. It's making life harder than it has to be and it works against me in what I'm trying to do. Fortunately this is one area where therapists can really help as long as you get what the problem is.
@Србомбоница864 жыл бұрын
This is me ,I am so extreme,my parents were like this and I genuinely think it affected my thinking in life,I could do the dishes every day and one day I miss doing it,my mom would react like I never done the dishes before ,crazy reaction .I wanted to ride a bike as a kid ,my mother would literally say " you can die,a car can hit you lol,it's so sad how that still affect me,her anxiety affected me severely
@jeangrey62784 жыл бұрын
I feel guilty. I am just like your mom. I feel bad for my daughter..
@lynette-sowingseedsoflove24244 жыл бұрын
Wow, thanks for sharing I can relate.
@MrGengad4 жыл бұрын
I can also relate to this as well, my mum, but I would say that's the only way they new to raise us. But truly speaking my mum patterns appears on me. We need to work hard and raise better children for this world.
@heliapalma59484 жыл бұрын
Jean Grey Dear: your mother have you . !!!!✨And now you got the gift to be a mother. Your daughter will have the best mother!! ✨You !!
@heliapalma59484 жыл бұрын
Jean Grey in
@JohnM...5 жыл бұрын
Bart: This is the WORST day of my life! Homer: The worst day of your life SO FAR!
@balkangetaway4 жыл бұрын
I feel much better now....
@tamarataylor17504 жыл бұрын
You are very helpful!
@laurenbarber85793 жыл бұрын
LOL YES
@PATRIOTxx33 жыл бұрын
LOL i love the Simpsons
@leonwalker7233 жыл бұрын
Ah the teachings of homer I've heard of him
@DesertApe3 жыл бұрын
Lady, I am so glad I found you. You speak with ease and your words really resonated with me. Thank you so much
@keelyp38443 жыл бұрын
You’re just an awesome human being! Thank you for your caring videos and articles
@Reree-gz5bg3 жыл бұрын
I definitely feel my emotions very strongly. So even the positives feel extra too :3
@lilywhite91093 жыл бұрын
Me too 🤔
@Webbgurl20003 жыл бұрын
Empath? Perhaps. Because I feel strongly as well.
@Karol.Pelczarski2 жыл бұрын
I have been doing talk therapy for few weeks and this video has helped me more in few minutes, thank you so much! 🤗
@wolvie0084 жыл бұрын
Better advice than most spiritual gurus . Namaste and thank you !
@drewjames17783 жыл бұрын
Wow! This video is under viewed, under liked, and is extremely helpful in breaking down the complexities of our minds and emotions in a very simple and clear way. Thank You.
@Frank0205 күн бұрын
yes, I think it goes into the neural pathway of trust. So, if the charachter does not deserve trust; then we prepare for the worst. Which is survivalist thinking at it's best. Danger, in the physical world also can trigger a go, no go attitude, which could possibly save your life. No positive emotions can replace the awareness of danger of every sort.
@alkia1003 жыл бұрын
So spot on. Makes you feel good when you see other people understand how you feel, and that there is hope for change. Thank you :)
@klvfu10 күн бұрын
Thanks for this: get better at feeling! Will remind me every day of this!
@gaelg86643 жыл бұрын
It's not always obvious to choose relevant content to learn a new language. But learning with these both simple and positive tips is perfect for me. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, I can learn so much thanks to you. Please keep going. Take care.
@catcoder128 ай бұрын
I also feel that when I'm stressed and all, I always feel everything involved in causing the stress is against me or a villain.
@loicewanza81812 жыл бұрын
Every time i listen to your vidio i feel relieved, thank you and may God continue to use you to be a blessing to many
@margo59193 жыл бұрын
You give me hope to cope, everyday! God bless you, Emma!
@vaik59444 жыл бұрын
Hi Emma, I have recently started to watch your videos and I had to find a way to tell you that- you have brought meaning to my life. I've spent 1000's of dollars in therapy and yet haven't got anything out of it like I do from your videos.
@judehey29712 жыл бұрын
Thank you it is very helpful with handling depression. I am also doing my part, I am taking my meds, eating better and doing exercise. I will also start psychological therapy next week.
@luannridenour65724 ай бұрын
Thanks sooo much! I so needed this. I will be trying to put these challenges to B&W Thinking into practice.
@maceyharper22682 жыл бұрын
I was raised in black & white. I actually used to be all about the gray areas, but I was told that way was bad, wrong, weak, cowardly, unrealistic.
@limmingming40223 жыл бұрын
I love your Passion to heal n calm people in the world! Thanking!!
@JoePlus82 жыл бұрын
Black and white thinking makes catastrophic thoughts transform into these emotions that are too extreme to harbor...it feels.. unexplainable..as if your soul is bursting at the seems. Confined to your body...yet much more vast than I can ever understand...
@daphynegracias85154 жыл бұрын
Your channel is such a blessing. Love it.
@princesspat52394 жыл бұрын
Hello, I found out about your channel when one of your videos popped up in my recommended. And I've never been this content with the advice and knowledge I got... I'm an anxious avoidant and I've been trying to change how I am but I've been struggling a lot I've been trying to look into different tools like philosophy and yungienne psychology ( MBTI )I found out that I'm an INFJ a year ago and it is a big tool but it's more about understanding who you are an understandin how you perceive the world but it didn't help me concretely to change the way i think. That's why I'm really happy because I've tried so much and your work feels like relief because it's so clear and organized with step by step methods so thank you so much !
@jeewillbecracked41153 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the help Emma ❣️
@susancosgrove78213 жыл бұрын
Excellent video, have really benefitted from watching and will even more so by applying. Many thanks 💜
@saintinlower482 жыл бұрын
You know how to word and put ideas together. This all makes sense.
@trcarp19732 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your expertise. Feels like there is hope for dealing with anxiety in a healthy way.
@owodee6 жыл бұрын
This was such a great video. Thank you so much, it opened my eyes!
@TherapyinaNutshell6 жыл бұрын
owodee so glad you liked it! Thanks!
@whitedejavu3 жыл бұрын
Lady you are God sent! 💕
@toddbirge28004 жыл бұрын
thank you for taking time away from your family to give me these tools to help with my battle of depression and anxiety.
@user-vv7ds4tf7x3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video, for helping us grow to be aware and manage ourselves to have good relationships. I myself tend to exaggerate things and find it hard to embrace the complexity of my realities. I tend to spiritualize things and fail to see things more clearly. I do have tendency of being depressed but am working out with feeling my feelings better. Again thank you and may God bless all your work. 🙏🏻
@krisg786 жыл бұрын
This is INCREDIBLY helpful. Thank you!!
@emmahank6 жыл бұрын
Thanks!
@nataliecaultz3 жыл бұрын
So interesting, a therapist told me i have very much black and white thinking. Great video as usual
@expandingknowledge82694 жыл бұрын
Human beings are emotional animals, and are subject to being triggered by events in their lives. Up and down, like a roller coaster we allow our emotions to control us subjugating the rest of our being. The world truly is an amazing place, full of color, as well as shades of black and white. This is what it is to be alive and functioning properly. Welcome to the world you live in.
@theprosperousfox58212 жыл бұрын
I tend to use hyperbole as a sense of humor. Noticing I do use words like always never etc and tend to go from one extreme to another in many area's this video was very helpful so thank you for uploading.....subscribed.
@sushmarangu41133 жыл бұрын
I'm happy I found this suggestion...and this has been an eye opener conveying howw the usual thoughts we get...bring unusual hurtful changes in life! Thank you 😁
@kjurat11522 жыл бұрын
You and your videos are truly amazing! Thank you so much!
@learningpeace97883 жыл бұрын
"Those who lack healthy love for themselves have very black and white thinking, never giving themselves room to grow or overcome failures." - DeJesus, Mark.
@keithnixon28413 жыл бұрын
Shakespeare’s Hamlet put it: ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’
@cassandra54633 ай бұрын
Super helpful, unfortunately describes me very accurately. Thank you
@chuksc-m.55795 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. I have been trying to understand some of my "black and white" thinking patterns and how they have been a huge cause of my mood swings. This was a good explanation to help start my journey in healing. :)
@TherapyinaNutshell5 жыл бұрын
That's great!
@dejanvranic8833 Жыл бұрын
I dated a women that had a very strong black/white way of thinking. I was very difficult to talk with her about emotionly challenging topics or mental health. I learned that it was her way to manage feelings and if somthing didnt fit into her perception of the world she showed little undertanding that things could actually be diferent. Needless to say it didnt work out between us 2.
@리아-p2z4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for helping me. I have going through tough times recently.
@kathymyers72794 жыл бұрын
It’s soooo TRUE! I just realized that I live in an emergency! There is an in between in everything. This isn’t something IVE CHOSEN . I’ve lived through ALOT of foundation crumbling things. I’ve WANTED change .i didn’t KNOW.
@sandym43172 жыл бұрын
I have this problem & working on changing it. Thanks!!
@justrenee26405 жыл бұрын
I do this very often and it makes me even more sad and it makes me cut off so many rekationships
@TherapyinaNutshell5 жыл бұрын
You learned to do this somewhere, you can learn to un-do this and do something differently keep your head up :)
@Anna-fh8eh3 жыл бұрын
Unrelated: A tip for everyone: please consider creating an alter ego. They can actually really help, trust me!
@sarahblunden43723 жыл бұрын
I think this of friends who 'Never want to meet up' and always do stuff together and 'always leave me out and never invite me' 'my friend never invites me over' but then I realise that perhaps because my life is changing so much, do I want to spend time with them? Their lives haven't changed much over the years, still talking about the same things. I am now attending groups where I can expand my social circle so then I'm not too bothered by it. Also I see my ex husband would say I 'never' do house work!
@thelawless15233 жыл бұрын
nothing will ever change what u are. u can fake a behaviour, but the longer u do that the crazier things will happen when u finally break. u are what u are. u already happened 2.
@stargazing91543 жыл бұрын
The world could use this video right now...
@paulastella82683 жыл бұрын
Feeling safe is the most important attribute I can have.
@beanie34974 жыл бұрын
Thank you for ur video. Ive been struggling with this people for a long time.. its very hard to change the thinking style and mindset though.. i hope i can change bit by bit
@oraora56473 жыл бұрын
The amount of times I come back to this video is insane! Thank you so much for this, it's so well made
@leigholding1397 Жыл бұрын
im new to this but totally makes sense. i had learning difficalties all through school. reading , spelling, maths are all black an white . all right or all wrong answers. because i was having difficalties with spelling i leart to think right or wrong in all of life.
@shaunrussell45584 жыл бұрын
That’s one of my favorite childhood books!! My nieces now love it too!! Thanks for ALL of your videos!! You’re incredible 🙏🏻💗💚❤️🦋
@4Beats4Me Жыл бұрын
Every functioning classroom I've ever been in has a copy of this book! Not exactly sure why.
@NunsenseStudios21103 жыл бұрын
Woohoo! Not me! My life has its problems... but they’re all self-inflicted and I accept the responsibilities and consequences of my actions! 🎉
@markaqc2 жыл бұрын
The spatial audio used on your vlog is trippy. ❤😂
@misspoliticallyincorrect12453 жыл бұрын
This makes me feel so overwhelmed.
@jeffjgarrett2693 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!