The 30 Crisis - Adulting When Adulthood's Unattainable

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Just as you've gotten through your quarter-life crisis, bam - that’s when the 30 crisis comes along. Recent on screen depictions like tick, tick…BOOM!, Inside, Starstruck and The Worst Person In The World are shining new light on this “tri-life crisis” and why it’s dominating so many people’s psyches today.
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[@thetake]

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[@AxxLAfriku]

cool!

[@nunisthathigh4825]

stop spamming phishing and virus sites u @$$holes

[@bridgetjohnston5]

Someone recently tweeted, "Hollywood doesn't know if 30 is when life ends or high school begins." So true.

[@adrianazashen]

I need to find this tweet lol

[@tommieaurelien9898]

It sounds like Hollywood is lost do not know the definition of 30 because what I noticed with these Hollywood celebrities they never grow old because growing old is never represented when you age and when you turn 30 there’s always this obsession staying younger because always pleasing the younger fans with these singers rappers actors Actresses entertainers I think entertainers they are also the same position as actors and actresses but the reason is ageing has no explanation for Hollywood because Hollywood they always Represent young famous people because it’s like when you’re 30 is finish you cannot have a dream where you cannot be such thing It’s just like it’s telling you you could not be anything in life it’s over for you when you turn 13 when you were in your 30s life is done for you this has to be unfair in the Hollywood industry aging it’s very negative it soundsIt is really not fair for those who aged

[@hardyquinn9442]

It is true, I just turned 30 this year and it really f*cked me up. I'm gonna be 31 in 3 months so I've started to feel better and accept it. Not owning a home and being a widow, so I've been single the last almost 5 years. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going going meet anyone ever again, my kids won't have another male role model ect. It's tough, It's difficult to know how to navigate this and I feel like the majority of people are freaking younger&more successful then myself. It is a scary thought and it's hard not to fall into isolation and depression, I feel like my best and most beautiful years are behind me. Society and media absolutely places far too many expectations on youth and woman especially.

[@tommieaurelien9898]

@@hardyquinn9442 I get what you mean age is a social construct how the system tells you what you need to do about your age and what you shouldn’t do it’s true sometime need to act your age but it depends on the maturity how mature it also has to do the youngest talented people there getting famous because Hollywood always picks the younger faces those who look very young and successful always getting more attention than other people with different ages when you are in your 30s is like it’s over is the end for you but when you reach certain age it’s always limited you never get any gratitude is because Hollywood has this thing withHow young you are and how talented you will be always the younger people first then the older people at least everyone should get the fame no matter what age they are

[@tommieaurelien9898]

@@hardyquinn9442 I get bloody frustrated about myself because I don’t know how would it be like when I’m 30 can I still hang out with certain people because they are younger than me can I still have fun like I am 18I just feel like I am still in my younger self somehow

[@kookykiddo]

The Broad City quote: “I’m only 27, what am I, a child bride?” Always killed me hahaha.

[@unionunicorn6776]

I just got married at 32 and I still feel too young

[@IxiaRayne]

@@unionunicorn6776 Yo seriously 🤣 My 1/2 year younger cousin got married at 29. His now wife is pregnant. - And I was like WTF THOSE ARE CHILDREN THEMSELVES!!! 🤣

[@kookykiddo]

@@unionunicorn6776 congratulations

[@nini-qc1qd]

one of my friends got married at 20 lol, I just turned 18 so it feels a little weird

[@jeffquinlan4064]

My wife and I got married at 23 and 24. I'm 33 now. I was 26 when we bought our 1st house and 31 when we had our 2nd kid. I also live in a small conservative area. I doubt this could or even should be done in a big city.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Moral of the Story: There’s a crisis for everyone at every age 🌝

[@suhebkhan9054]

Bro, how are you on every channel's comment section😭 Unreal

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@suhebkhan9054 I just gatecrash any KZbin Channel now lol

[@suhebkhan9054]

@@PokhrajRoy. haha gg

[@milktoasted]

Strangely comforting tbh

[@epasuxelar4473]

Only if you buy into what society tells you you are supposed to do and feel. If you are able to find what matters to you, outside of society's expectations, you find inner peace.

[@samfilmkid]

I’m only 28 but I do relate to this a lot. How about we just admit to ourselves that life is just one big crisis management course in real time?

[@aaronrivera6732]

I just turned 29 on March 4th. Trust me your 28th year goes by so fast. You keep worrying about turning 29. And now I’m worried about turning 30 lol 😭

[@jamiew.6606]

My parents are in their 50s and still struggle from time to time of what they're doing with life. Watching them is how I learned that life is not something we can control, but we can enjoy it for what it is in each moment.

[@cobbija]

@@aaronrivera6732 And you'll worry when you turn 40 (like I am now). Let's stop this.

[@daianadavidson5293]

So relatable, you Just get used to be in constatly crisis mood

[@RonaldBradycptgmpy]

Yooo, I’m turning 39 this year and I still relate to this. I tried to do everything I thought I was supposed to. I went to college, took on a mountain of debt. I’ve had people not hire me for certain jobs because they didn’t think that I could “do them” or didn’t wanna pay for accommodations (A problem with the Americans With Disabilities Act) but in spite of that I’ve had two different careers. Lost a bunch of money, burnt out… And you know what I learned? Doing what you were “supposed to do” is it really all it’s cracked up to be. So my personal resolution is to figure out how to finish this crash course in crisis management (I like that) and try to go out in style by the time I look back on this life I got. I’ve learned that all the advice I got as a kid was coming from people who knew just as much about life as I do, which isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things. None of us knows all that much about life in the grand scheme of things. So if I can leave you with a couple of things I think might be helpful: drop that notion that you have to find that one thing you want to do with the rest of your life, or convert your passion into a business. If you’re that kind of person, it can be really great, but for me it ended up being the thing that burnt me out. I turned two of the things that I used to really enjoy doing into businesses, and I spent 10 years trying to figure out how to make a different life not doing them anymore. Everyone is different, so I would say find a collection of things, a job, a hobby, a group of friends, a mode of creative expression, what have you with each of those playing a different part in a holistic life. And I hope when you finally do turn 30, you don’t feel like you’re in crisis management mode anymore 🤟🏽

[@trinaq]

Contrary to what the media may preach, you don't have to have your entire life sorted by the ripe age of 30. You're still finding your way, and there's no cutoff age for success.

[@theirishpotato6588]

True

[@LuisSierra42]

And also "success" is a cultural fabrication

[@FabalociousDee]

Babes, I am finding that out in all kinds of ways, and I love it! 😄😄😄

[@Strawberry_Angelic]

Or for fun

[@porcelanek2701]

Ses, also funny thing. I'm about to turn 21 and I feel so bad by jot having my life figured out and many my friends as well. And these days I'm trying to chill. Like I got time and so you in your 30s

[@EveryFairyDies]

Quarter-life crisis, tri-life crisis, mid-life crisis... maybe we just need to accept that our entire lives are just going to be one long crisis. Nice use of Logan's Run, by the way. Very dark yet very subtle. I approve.

[@SaraBanartist]

Some may say...a Time Crisis

[@auroraborealass]

Everyday is a crisis under capitalism.

[@harfir7169]

If you run with Erik Eriksons model there will always be a crisis because that's just part of how we evolve

[@rosenylund3452]

Life is constant existential crisis. Aknowledgeing this and just trying to do your best are all we can do. We are all going to die eventually, most things are out of our control, and we can only push.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@harfir7169 You sent me down a mental rabbit hole ~while I was drunk!~ and while I have questions for Erik Erikson (not the least of which is, isn't his name kind of on the nose?), thank you for mentioning him. If you hadn't I wouldn't know of him, and I am looking forward to reading his works and overthinking it all. 😁

[@LittleHobbit13]

The real problem is that everything that used to be a milestone of "hitting adulthood" no longer holds true, but we also haven't updated any of those milestones so people are still using them and therefore feeling like they're missing them. I think it was particularly impactful on Millennials because we were raised to look for those older milestones and then had them ripped away just as we were reaching them, which is why more of us feel like we missed the mark.

[@D0MiN0ChAn]

Omg, you took the words right out of my mouth and articulated them so much more eloquent than I could have ever done 👏🏻👏🏻 100% this!!

[@sydposting]

As a teen, I fully expected to graduate from college and roll right into a career and home ownership like my dad did in the 80's. Unfortunately, I graduated high school in 2009, so that cultural expectation got pulled out from underneath me REAL quick.

[@mastersnet18]

@@sydposting ugh that sucks. I graduated in 2007 and I feel the same way. Our parents, teachers, counselors, coaches etc. all convinced us that’s all we needed to do to have a comfortable life.

[@zacharytaylor2983]

@@mastersnet18 My teachers literally said in 2008 when I graduated: “Just work hard in college and study something that you enjoy and will do well in. Sociology, Art History, who cares? When you graduate from a good college, you’re guaranteed a good job and then everything else will follow.” Barely 2 years later, all I heard from the “adults” in my life was, “why aren’t you studying something in STEM or Business? You’ll be unemployable when you graduate.” The Boomers are totally clueless about how comparatively easy they had it.

[@PinksInMyArea]

true as a an older gen z I realized this not so long ago, but in the back of my head I was like, well the millenials had it harder. I'm glad I can learn from an older generation and feel less lost. I can't imagine being the first ones going through this, props to yall

[@Mimi-cq4bg]

All of this is so subjective. I was married with a baby and a mortgage at 23. I’m now 43 and just starting a divorce. My oldest is a HS grad in the years of Covid and so she was trapped and held back when she was supposed to be able to take that first step into adulthood. Here I am at 43 and part of me wonders who I would have been if I had waited a few years before becoming Mrs. MyHusband. To hell with a clock. You’re on the schedule you’re supposed to be on.

[@ND-nx1nt]

Thank you Mimi, I am screenshot ting your comment for future reference to remind myself I am where I am supposed to be 🤗

[@jewlzn7130]

Facts!!!! Life is an unpredictable mess.

[@FoodFanBoy7845]

I needed to hear this today. Thank you

[@pankreas2195]

If we expect to live up to 80 or 90 it makes absolutely no sense to expect to have accomplished your life goals by the time you're 30

[@jesuschild07able]

My grandfather is 99 so I’m not worried.

[@morbid1.]

man's average life span is 65... so 30 is kinda midlife.

[@AliFareedMC]

Death is uncertain, Jonathan Larson died when he was 35

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

@@morbid1. The average lifespan has increased to 85 for women

[@jasonhaven7170]

@@morbid1. Do you live in India or something? It's 80 for men

[@magma4168]

"Honey, we'll all look thirty one day" Yeah, I'll tell you more: honey, one day you are going to MISS looking thirty.

[@kahkah1986]

exactly! 30 is awesome, you usually do have things figured out more, you have accepted life a bit more, but you are still hot.

[@esmee6308]

@@kahkah1986 This is the exact anxiety I'm feeling, very mild but I still get estimated young and I feel it makes people much more patient with me. Doesn't help that when semi-strangers ask about my life it's always positive and oh, whilst you're still so young as well and all I can think is yupppp, another one who just thinks I'm 20.

[@alyzu4755]

Ain't that the truth!

[@vice.nor.virtue]

Omg just one single example - Rihanna looks way hotter at 30 than she does at 20 so I hate to see women especially cursing the idea of looking 30 it's a hot age!

[@ohnojojo2262]

This is literally what I tell everybody who freaks out about turning 30

[@DeathnoteBB]

“Quarter-life crisis”, “30 year crisis”, “mid-life crisis”?! At this point it’s just a crisis

[@_Alimm]

I don't think any of it is a crisis as much as it is a life-changing revelation that these markers of adulthood is all false and we struggle to accept that. After the "crisis" we realize we define our lives not society expectation.

[@kecym.4808]

right?!

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@_Alimm I mean that sounds like a crisis to me

[@yogawithkassandra]

I relate so deeply to this. I felt huge pressure and anxiety when I turned 30! It's a real thing and it's sad. The Bo Burnham special hit the hardest. Thankfully I'm 31 now and I got over it lol

[@princesshaley7001]

You are lucky. I’m 40 and I still haven’t.

[@sculptureofsound2]

I'm 33 and I'm still not over it

[@chai_lattes]

Omg, Kassandra! My sister and I have really enjoyed doing your gentle yoga videos before bed. Thank you for all the amazing work you do! I was struggling with some intrusive thoughts tonight and your video really provided a safe space to focus on the sensations and come back into my body. I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that you're making a difference in people's lives❤💙💚💛💜💖

[@linzlu7051]

Fav yoga instructor eva! Just played your chair yoga for my psych patients! They were so relaxed! Your yin changed my life! So cool to see u comment on this stuff

[@SaminSays]

i cried a lot less at 31 than i did when i turned 30

[@justanotherblackwhitemicke7817]

Lol, I remember seeing Tick Tick Boom after Bo Burnham Inside and think "Wait, this musical also has a 30's crisis theme?" 🐵

[@theirishpotato6588]

Same

[@eileensnow6153]

My sister pointed out the other day that all us millennials are the bulk of the workforce now. So we’re getting movies like Encanto and and Tick, Tick…Boom and Turning Red, works born from these artists trying to therapize their own experiences.

[@skallywalla502]

Except tick tick ... boom! is an *entirely* different thing because Jonathan Larson was dead by age 35 so he was *literally* running out of time to accomplish what he wanted to and that's how he lived his life. He wasn't having an existential crisis; death was staring him in the face, but he didn't know how to articulate that. I hate these takes on tick, tick...boom! that ignore that completely. Just listen to "30/90;" so many of the lyrics demonstrate this.

[@talltreeyeti]

@@skallywalla502 but did he actually know that or was he just feeling that pressure from society?

[@matheussanthiago9685]

@@eileensnow6153 that explains the sudden "the real villain was generational trauma all along" trend

[@xeniamsc]

As someone who turns 30 this year, I appreciate this video. Honestly, I don’t feel my age at all, I don’t think I’ve changed at my core at all. Some views may have evolved, sure, hopefully I’ve become wiser and more patient and shit but it feels the same. And I can’t truly process the fact that I’m turning 30. And no, my life isn’t all sorted out. Anyone feels the same way? Like we adults are just kids pretending we know what we’re doing and actually having no clue?

[@tatinichakraborty]

We adults are just old kids 🥺

[@feyrol42]

I’m turning 30 this year as well. In May in fact, so very soon. I feel exactly the same. I thought it was because I was struggling job wise a few years ago. Fast forward to the present career wise I’m quite successful and earn a good amount. But still feel like my adulthood is not real. Maybe it’s because I still live at home, not married and don’t have kids. I definitely feel like I’m ‘playing’ adult. I don’t know how to describe it, but you did it perfectly. I’m wondering when I’ll actually feel like an adult fully.

[@xeniamsc]

@@feyrol42 Same here, I only figured out what I truly want to do career-wise a year ago. From older folks I know that this sensation of pretending never really goes away. I guess our souls really are eternally youthful 😌

[@cecee3480]

I don’t even pretend I know what I’m doing. I actually feel like I’m less capable than I was when I was a teenager and early 20s.

[@SnazzyArcade]

I'm turning thirty in April. And you know what? I think it's the exact same as turning 29. I'm done feeling like my life should be somewhere by a certain age, because it really only makes sense if you'e looking at it through a very time-specific media narrative. Think about how many truly remarkable adults you came across as a kid-not that many, right? Most of us are ordinary, and that's okay. That doesn't mean we're not interesting, or driven, or creative. That doesn't mean we can't lead fantastic lives.

[@juliettacapuleto3419]

A try on a self-translation of a Guillermo del Toro quote that I like a lot: "You, the young people, are in the exact age of desesperation. I never felt as old and done than in my twenties. I told myself 'my life has gone by and I havent done anything' But Im here to tell you that no: you have a lot of time."

[@incisivecommenter5974]

After a stint in the military I graduated college at 30, debt free. Got married, had my first child at 33, my second at 38. I'm so grateful to have a wonderful family, a good career. Things happened for me after 30.

[@joylynch5204]

I’m late. My life is really taking off at 39

[@puketinmoarliek994]

@@joylynch5204 hey man thats ok❤️

[@TheJadedJames]

I'm 36, and I haven't even dated anyone for longer than 3 months or so since turning 30. And honestly, the only reason I don't have any financial problems is because of the low overhead of only being responsible for myself. If I had a single child, I would probably be broke and exhausted all the time. I really feel like to attain a certain style of adulthood, dramatic things would need to change in my life right now

[@miamilne3281]

What gets to me is that media only seems to show 30s (often 40s too) as an unhappy time. If they haven't "achieved enough" in their career or family then they're unhappy about that. If they have a family or career then they're upset that they haven't achieved the other thing or had enough fun. Most studies show that people are happiest in their 30s-40s. People tend to know more about what they want and achieve that -- they're also generally less poor than in their 20s.

[@RachaelTheRed]

I never understood why the 20s are so celebrated as the "prime of life" your 20s are ROUGH. I honestly can't wait to enter my 30s.

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

@@RachaelTheRed I think more and more people realize that 30s is to happiest times. I think 20s represent more freedom and less responsibilities though. But you ask a lot of older people and they agreed 30s with the best time of their life

[@ShadowRaven66669]

As a woman, the pressure to have a family AND a career *at the same time* is absolutely ridiculous. I had no freaking clue what I wanted to do with my life in my 20s, so my husband and I had kids while I figured it out. Ironically, my kids led me to what I want to do (which doesn't require a degree) and now they're old enough that I can do that without burning out or neglecting them and I have the rest of my life to do it.

[@sophiabel6621]

​@@ShadowRaven66669what is it that you want to do? Could you share?

[@Northwest360]

One thing they didn’t really touch upon, but which we all intuitively know, is that the financial reality we face makes these “milestones” nigh impossible, and quite elitist. “Hey you person making minimum wage at 28, go buy a MacBook Pro, camera equipment, mic, and start a side hustle as a content creator.” Or “hey you person struggling to feed a family in San Francisco, just come up with the finances to move to Nebraska.” Oh and we can’t forget, “well you decided, at 18, to pursue that degree, so take ownership and pay back those 70k in student loans while saving for the wedding and the down payment.” It’s crazy to me that the few that are able to do the above just think it’s a lack of effort in others, not a system with inequality built into it.

[@TheLeah2344]

Nowadays if you don’t succeed at 25, you are considered a failure. I’m 26 and I thought I was a failure at 25 because I didn’t get married, didn’t get a house, and I didn’t have the career I was looking for.

[@shazzari]

Oh sweetie I’m almost 40 and still have none of that. We move through life in our own timeline. The only opinion and pressure that should matter, are yours my love.

[@issecret1]

Ah, that'd be the quarter life crisis

[@anthonyscarborough3813]

I’m 25. All my high school friends are getting married now and I’m just rolling my eyes because I think that’s so basic. Meanwhile, I still don’t have a driver’s license, and I’ve never dated, let alone been in a relationship or gotten married. But I have been to 10 different countries around the world 🌎 . Just be yourself, and don’t worry about the order in which you do things.

[@inspiredby624]

Well that's the one good thing about turning 30: you kinda stop giving a fuck about other people's opinions about your life. Like I still struggle to measure up to my own standards but at least those are my own and not based on some arbitrary milestones that society pushes on us.

[@EarthenDemon126]

I'm 30 and I've never had the opportunity to even be in a relationship. I'm surprised anyone else has, to be honest.

[@christopherhall852]

My 30th birthday was in December 2019, and I thought to myself "time to get my life together!" It's a good thing no major events have happened since then

[@freakazoidd7689]

Literally SAME. It would be a shame if a major, life altering global event were to steal away that year of being 30. And then 31.

[@thisismycoolusername]

Sound about right

[@miricori]

Lmao same 😂

[@carmendotnet6805]

I turned 30 in August 2018. In 2019, when I turned 31, life was picking up very well for me and I was excited about 2020. Oh boy, did 2020 excite me...

[@StudioHannah]

SAME THO.

[@gakailyn9249]

Whenever an elder warns me against getting old, I ask what's the alternative? Dying?

[@-Radical.Ed-]

You are the last philosopher. Well done!

[@vice.nor.virtue]

ahaha I've had that from one or two elders before Elder: Don't get old! lol me: Ummm, well mate i don't really have many other options here do i? I mean, was the fountain of youth discovered and I somehow missed this quite significant milestone in science? Oh wait, it's in North Korea? Oh damn, that's going to be a problem, looks like I'll just have to continue with the perpetual existential crisis I was enjoying...

[@adrenalinbemyride7768]

They are just trying to bring you down

[@maksimnikiforovski2034]

Partying, travelling and studying by 25, then a global pandemic hits and then suddenly you are 27 and people are like: yOu MuSt FiGuRe YOur LIfe OuT! 😶

[@bkimatab]

At least you were able to do those things at 25 before the pandemic.

[@maksimnikiforovski2034]

@@bkimatab I guess so. I am thankful, but I still feel like two years of my life were taken from me. And I don't feel 27.

[@Melanie-Elisabeth]

It feels like time stopped two years ago. I'm still surprised when I can see "2022" written somewhere.

[@viktorias1963]

I wish I would have still been 25 or even 27 when the pandemic hit. But I was 31 and pregnant (twice actually) and I can never get the time back my parents didn't get to spend with me and my kids. It's not helping anyone's situation, but just a perspective from someone that had their life sorted out and good luck everyone on their post pandemic journey

[@anoukpenna1048]

YES, exactly the same here! Our lives have been on pause, but our birthdays didn't. I doesn’t feel like 25 was 2 years ago for me and yet it also feels like it was 20 years ago

[@madzness19]

Finally someone acknowledged how my generation had a shitty “20’s” and then to get chucked the 30th birthday pressure on top is super unfair. It’s how I’ve felt this whole time!

[@jessicaderosa9625]

Not so shitty consider the new one will have even more economic and social problems

[@viciousv9671]

U still party ?

[@alissaj9501]

Me being 37 with no kids, a new job, and so happy! I love it here!! Thank you for this Take!!

[@elizabethh6638]

Make sure you really dont want kids. Turned 38 and got major baby fever. Still trying to get pregnant and it is not happening. It is torturous feeling knowing I could have started earlier. :(

[@alissaj9501]

@@elizabethh6638 I’m a lesbian. I don’t!

[@prairiehorse6168]

This is my vision too. I don't believe marriage is a goal and kids are not going to make me happy either.

[@elizabethh6638]

@@prairiehorse6168 I hope for your sake it is so. I used to feel satisfied with just that but I changed and it took me by surprise.

[@prairiehorse6168]

@@elizabethh6638 I hope it happens for you 🤞

[@Angi3_6]

I’m terrified of my 30s (I’m 28). When I tell people I feel like I have nothing figured out, I feel like they give me more leeway because I’m disabled, but I still feel like a failure.

[@LuisSierra42]

People won't notice your age by looking at your face so you can keep telling them you are 28

[@andreaslind6338]

I'm 36. It's OK. Really. You do not shrivel up and turn to dust, in fact your 30s feel like 20s but you're less of an idiot. I'm only just starting the career I want to do now, but at least it is the career I want to do.

[@SnazzyArcade]

I'm disabled and turning 30 in a few weeks. The best part of getting older, I find, is that I don't care about what people think of me anymore.

[@now_chemical]

as a disabled person who just turned 30, i feel this...

[@KD-ou2np]

What do you actually want though? Do you want kids and a mortgage, or are you just letting society tell you that you need that stuff?

[@sculptureofsound2]

I turned 30 three years ago and I have been crying every since.

[@turnerburner922]

I’ll be 30 in May. I think age is more of a mindset-at least I hope it is or I’m f*cked.

[@D0MiN0ChAn]

Same, gonna be 33 next week and due to the pandemic have absolutely lost any concept of time 😭 like, i just celebrated my 30th, whaddaya mean I‘m gonna be 33 already?! Where‘s the time gone!? 😫

[@sculptureofsound2]

@@D0MiN0ChAn DUDE RIGHT?! I was 31 when the pandemic began and now you're telling me I'm finna be 34 already?! 😭

[@Hyperbloomberg]

I actually love Parks and Recreation when all of Leslie’s and others’ biggest accomplishments happen into their late 30s and 40s… when the journey begins Leslie is already 32 (i think) and we see her progressing towards her goals in government. Also Ben, Andy, Ann, Donna and Craig all see massive transformations in these ages too. Ron Swanson gets his ideal job in Pawnee National Park practically in his 50s, and April is almost 30 when she decides to change her career. That show has always been ahead of the curve!

[@KyanneSummer]

One of the best shows ever🙌🏼

[@joannasekua1540]

Yeah except everyone there gets exactly what they want which is insanely unrealistic, not the mention that huge leap between 2014 and 2017 and all of a sudden everyone is rich and fulfilled and accomplished everything they wanted

[@Sk8rToon]

Perfect timing. I’m turning 39 this week without hitting any milestones outside of not living with my parents & was feeling all of this.

[@rizerek]

I just turned 36, and same.

[@LisaF777]

Thanks for sharing. It's grounding and realistic 💚

[@saggittarius321]

Never let the society/ pop culture or even forbes dictate how and when can you be successful or married. They gain alot from our insecurity and we gain mental health issues and it's not fair for just a number to decide whether you are good enough or not .

[@PokhrajRoy.]

‘Julie & Julia’ INVENTED the first Content Creator. Also, the movie told us Julia Children achieved her goals in her later. Or as Eric puts it: “Julia Child wasn’t always Julia Child.”

[@victoriarooks784]

Agree!Also I believe Elizabeth Taylor was the first influencer.

[@TeeGirl91]

I turned 29 and then 30 during the pandemic, and no one could understand why I have this anxiety about getting into my 3rd decade. All of my friends who are my age are now married with kids and tbh it causes me lots of stress. However, I figured out that somehow many of them are envious of my lifestyle; being a career driven woman who travels a lot and have lots of adventures. It just make me think how much we people focus on what we miss rather than enjoying what we already have and what we love to really do while keeping societal pressure out of the picture.

[@ljhcmh614]

I can related. I'm a guy in my 50s, never married. When my siblings and friends were all getting married and then having children, I kinda wondered if I was getting left behind. But as time passed, I saw dividends in the extra time I spent at work (promotions), traveling (seeing the world) and going out (amazing meals and friendships). And the more time that passed, the more I realized that many of those with spouses and children I thought were looking down on me were not-so-secretly envying me. A good friend told me just last month that, although he loves his children beyond measure, if he had to do it all over again, he would have done what I did.

[@prairiehorse6168]

I don't think marriage and kids are for everyone and some people commit to these things without even evaluating ìf that is truly what they want.

[@PeterGumballs]

You’re expected to have everything figured out by the time you’re 30. There’s no way I knew what I was doing with my life in my early 20s.

[@xepru]

i'm 29 and after losing upwards of 20 friends before they turned 30, i feel incredibly fortunate to (likely) make it to 30. but i have still felt some other subtle sadness and i couldn't place it. when you pointed out that 30 is coded as the end of youth and that my generation has been defined by climate change, economic crises, etc, i realized my 20s have been filled with pain and stress, and i finally cried about turning 30. i'm so happy to be aging and growing. but i am deeply saddened to realize how much of my youth was taken from me through trauma, both personal and societal. it's something i needed to honor and grieve, so thank you for helping me to recognize and process it.

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

It’s funny. But most people suffer their most trauma in their youth. Many people complain about 20s being a horrible time of their life. Ask any older person and they will tell you. 30s and 40s with the best time of your life

[@xepru]

@@Tttttttttttttttt484 in dark moments of my life, i used to think i would die before i made it to 30. i see it now as being reborn, like a phoenix, burning through the pains of youth, and rising stronger and more myself than ever before. i'm definitely looking forward to fully embracing who i am and continuing to grow into myself through my 30s and 40s!

[@vice.nor.virtue]

Yeah sometimes I feel like still being alive is actually the real achievement. I'm turning 30 this month and despite the mess of my life, I take a level of solace from being able to say Im still alive. Sadly, not everyone made it this far.

[@chanmarr8118]

I’m turning 32 in Oct and definitely feel like I should have more. I finally graduated with a bachelors in 2020, I have no assets, I make $35,000/year and struggling to get by. I just keep wondering if this is going to be my life, constantly struggling.

[@hojeapeteceme]

I'm also turning 32(in Aug) and I feel you. I feel like I've done nothing with my life, and at the same time, I feel like I've experienced quite a bit. It's very weird. Took me a bit to accept turning 30 during the "pandemonium" ngl

[@DannyD-lr5yg]

Although - if I weren’t such a recluse and didn’t have a dog, I might consider living abroad teaching English, or volunteering/working on a WWOOF farm for awhile. That’s one of the good things about being untethered, at least. Have you considered scrapping your current situation and doing something like that - something you couldn’t do if you were saddled with a mortgage, kids, etc?

[@sculptureofsound2]

Your situation is exactly the same as mine. I'm 33 and I make 35k a year. No kids. No house. Trying my best to make ends meet. Definitely feel like i should have more.

[@lilygranger6264]

@@hojeapeteceme hey quick q, why did you use the word pandemonium is this context? (English is my third language and i would genuinely like an explanation, thanks in advance)

[@tatinichakraborty]

Hang in there mate 😁

[@SJPace1776]

The generation today in their 20s, 30s, and 40s are increasingly having to put off stages of life. Student loan debt and an increasingly high threshold to get into the housing market fosters a sense of arrested development. You "should" be hitting these societal benchmarks, but you're just trying your best to get out from under and be able to finally save up to plan to start. Having to adjust and rethink life's stages due to exterior conditions is difficult and often one society lags a generation behind. Living with your parents at 23 used to be shamed. It will likely be a reality and necessity up to ~30 for many.

[@Melanie-Elisabeth]

I am. I am 28, I need to live with my parents, that is to say my disabled mother and my violent father. No car to find a job. No money to take care of this car I don't have. No job to earn this money. My little sister left the house and live now with her boyfriend. She studies and work in the city. I'm a young graphic designer with no commissions stuck in a village. I have no friends to cheer me up. And though I have nothing I'm struggling from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes to find someone who could need me.

[@matheussanthiago9685]

I used to think that if I still have to live with my parents when I'm a certain age I'd just go to the interstate and throw myself under a truck... Guess what happened

[@kamilareeder1493]

Its tough, Im JUST old enough to remember a time when people my age moved out around 18-20 so its been a tough adjustment ngl

[@fermata18]

My parents had their first baby at 20, their second at 24, and bought a house by 28. They were deeply unhappy, and divorced at 40. I'm unmarried at 35 with no kids, about to get a PhD. There are some things I wish I would have done by now, but I'm glad I didn't rush anything. A lot of people my age have divorced. Marriage, children, and home ownership don't guarantee happiness and fulfillment. In the 21st century we have SO many choices. We don't have to be "successful" or even "secure" by 30. We can't be our parents. We shouldn't be our parents.

[@adrenalinbemyride7768]

Here's my unique take I'm 38 I feel like I'm 19 I had an old soul in high school I was the most mature I hit 18 and became a wild party animal 26 I started to get serious At 30 I went back to partying but it was house parties I've always been childfree by choice I have never done drugs having seen its effects first hand as a kid with my addict uncle and cousins I have always moisturised I inherited money I also worked on the mines and invested in real-estate At 36 I was a fully fledged landlord with multiple properties I had a year to myself with covid and I had a commune of 20 something's and early 30s living with me Since then to now I have felt in control but younger than ever Life is precious and strange Honestly I never had a tri-life crisis

[@baronessvonginger1585]

You should do one on turning 40 and the cultural phenomenon around suddenly having higher standards, finally loving yourself, and no longer giving a f@ck what people think or say about you.

[@joylynch5204]

Amen! I’m 39 but I can feel and relate to this

[@nikki5095]

I cannot wait for that evolution! Just turned 30, and I'm already a fan of getting older haha.

[@jewlzn7130]

I think I stopped caring about what people thought when I turned 30. Finally beginning my self love journey at 38. Trauma sucks

[@querida_2338]

@@jewlzn7130 happy for your growth, have a beautiful life ahead ❤️

[@ellaraykondrat]

Yes. I’m almost 37 and dealing with the dread of becoming irrelevant is real.

[@suadela87]

I spent my entire 20s thinking I was falling behind everyone else. Everyone I knew went to college and got married in their 20s. Now I’m 34 and I realized I was experiencing and learning a lot of things in my 20s when I thought I was just stagnant and getting older. So far, my 30s have been far kinder to me than my 20s were and a large part of that was me realizing I don’t have to do the same shit everyone else is doing because who the fuck cares? I’m also old enough that I’m expected to know what I’m doing so if anyone questions the weird shit I do I just say I’m grown and can do what I want. I don’t think 30s should be dreaded. If you’re dreading them, really look at your life and figure out why you’re doing shit. Also remember that you don’t have to be young to do shit. I have a friend who published her first book at 58 and another who solo traveled around Asia at 54. You’re okay.

[@uroboros_8563]

As a woman who turned 30 a few months back, growing to be older made me more confident & self-assured, everyone has a different pace, it is stupid to even chase such benchmarks which the society has set. Everyone is clueless. But I feel like women, in general, are conditioned to be more anxious about turning 30. Our patriarchal society values the youth of women. "she's 30 she's grandma" that's like an insult/joke used by the younger generation as well as older people. I guess it has a biological reason but as an asexual woman who never desired to have a child, I could care less about all that. Everyone gets old, everyone dies.

[@pendragon2012]

I spent my 30th birthday working at a Starbucks. Now I'm almost 40 and teaching for a living, which is better but also feeling like just starting a new career instead of being well established definitely hits some times. 😕

[@joylynch5204]

Oh hey me too I just started teaching which is a career change for me also at the age of 39. It feels like I’m starting over as well definitely not well-established. I in fact had trouble paying rent last month because starting out I have fewer hours

[@jessicawood2972]

Dude! Same! I'm turning 39 this year and will have only a few years of experience as a nurse. With no savings. No retirement fund. Still renting. And $40k in student loans. I'm basically gonna be working until I die instead of retiring like most people in my profession

[@prairiehorse6168]

I feel you. I returned to school during the pandemic at 30 and it will be a while before I get to work in my field with stable pay because years of education is required. I am scared I will not have stable income until my late 30s/early 40s.

[@victoriarooks784]

Go for it! Get yourself out of the rat race lord knows I'm trying!

[@anamaria-db7pq]

it's better to have an interesting than a well established life ! (: Changes mean that you are alive!

[@patriciaa4451]

I'm turning 30 soon. I thought I was getting my life together. I moved out to my own place, I got a job working from home. I was looking forward to life then suddenly my mum had a massive stroke. I've never been more afraid in my life. I feel like I can't do this without her. I feel lost. 😭

[@anthonyscarborough3813]

That has nothing do with turning 30. When a crisis in the family strikes at any age, from 8 to 80, it’s stressful. I don’t mean to be rude, hope your mom gets better 🙏 😞

[@instantpug7036]

I feel you. I was just getting out of university at 27 and then my mom got terminally ill with a brain tumor. So the moment I thought, after a lot of struggle, I was finally ready to become an adult - I was catapulted back into absolute childhood. Into absolute helplessness. You are not alone. I understand you. Fully. And I'm sorry. There are no words to express how terrible you must be feeling. I just hope that you are not alone. Surround yourself with people that make you feel less alone and ask for all the help you can get. It's not selfish. It's what you need to get through this. Be honest with your feelings and you will definitely become the person you need to be. I wish you all the best.

[@sherilea01]

I'm 51 just lost my dad and lost my mom in 2008. I don't think you really become a true adult until you lose your parents. I'm so sorry about your mom. I know you feel lost but you can do this. She raised you to be a strong woman. You can do this.

[@cassiel.6918]

This hits so hard. I turned 33 in march, I have a useless degree and ADHD, no one wants to hire me, no one loves me, and the pandemic made things worse.

[@rq3849]

I hope you're doing well

[@IxiaRayne]

When I turned 30 two years ago I was EXACTLY like this. The fact wrecked me. Just moved back in with my parents, job marked completely trash. Everybody else around me - friends, family seemed to be thriving. Just me. I was slacking. I felt like trash. But honestly the 30s have been liberating. Once I made peace with myself and who I am, I felt a freedom of self, like never before. Still, riddled with anxiety sure, but it’s so much better now. Because I don’t bent my personality anymore, to what society wants. My 30s are the time to let my “freak” flag fly. A time when I finally figured out I have ADHD and that I’m fucking Queer. Who knew?! So yes. The 30s are to be celebrated. At least for me. Fuck my 20s. The 30s is where it’s at, so far ✨

[@SlayerNinaFriki]

Well, I still feel like a failure. I spent all my childhood and teens studying and working, my 20s studying and working and at 31 nothing. Came. From. It. And of course, I still have to keep studying and working because if not I will be homeless. Fuck this life

[@alohaXamanda]

Amen. The only reason I’m still alive is my parrot.

[@kb3146]

I relate so much.

[@lucypreece7581]

My brother is turning 30 at the end of this year and like he feels the crisis a little. he just got out of a relationship he thought was gonna last the course and he still lives in a very basic flat. I know my brother wants that dream family. A house, a wife, kids, a dog. But society tells him that time is running out. It isn't My brother is exactly where he should be at this moment in time.

[@leaiplussize]

I am 50 now, but for all of you that are turning 30, I went back to collage at 30 and I love it! I cherished that fact the younger students look up to me at a leader, and I just focus on the new things i was learning.

[@PaperMario64]

Part of the problem is tv shows casting 25 year olds in roles of law firm partners, newspaper editors and other roles that aren’t realistic for their age. Studios do this to save money but the message is that you’re supposed to be at the top of the mountain immediately after college. That’s not real. You need to work in these positions for many years to gain the experience and knowledge needed to succeed. It doesn’t help that people think money = expertise, which is why everyone and their mother thinks they are qualified to teach a course. Smh. This age has lowered the value of so many things that are important and elevated the value of things that mean nothing.

[@popland1977]

It's an archaic attitude that one must have it all sorted by 30. As a result, those who don't feel like shit. Betty White was 41 before she met the love of her life. Don't compare yourself to this trope

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

I also think she was older before her career took off

[@popland1977]

@@Tttttttttttttttt484 She was a known tv personality since the 1950s, but it wasn't till the 1970s when she was in her 50s that she reached international and major fame

[@MsDaydream3r]

I'm 29, an aspiring comic creator, and I *NEEDED* to hear this. Thank you! 🙏

[@joylynch5204]

Don’t ever give up

[@MsDaydream3r]

@@joylynch5204 😊😙❤

[@kamilareeder1493]

This is a stupid question but do you mean comic creator as in youre funny or you draw comics ?😂😭

[@MsDaydream3r]

@@kamilareeder1493 I draw/write comic books. 🎨

[@kamilareeder1493]

@@MsDaydream3r ohh 😂😭 cool.

[@jesuschild07able]

The funny thing is I was so worried about turning 30 because I do in a couple months but now, I’m like I survived a global pandemic, I am still learning and I actually like getting older because people take me more seriously. So 30 doesn’t scare me, I’ve been writing again and that brings me happiness.

[@_Alimm]

I'm 29 and I share the same sentiments as Mitski. I've lived a lot of ups and downs in my twenties and I can not wait to slam that chapter close. Thirty feels like a second chance but with more wisdom and self-value this time around. Millennials, we're a guinea pig generation experiencing much economic roadblocks for the first time that our parents didn't have to but on the flip side we get to define if growing up gets to be this negative, pitiful transition we are programmed to believe or one of celebration , grace and appreciation for those solid learned lessons. Thirty can be the year we look at like turning 21 or 50. It's really up to us.

[@jewlzn7130]

30 is an amazing decade. I am almost 40, but I've just cultivated a better relationship with myself. Fortunately for me, I have a great career as a nurse so it feels like I am on the right path. You figure it out

[@PokhrajRoy.]

2:29 I loved the ‘Miss Congeniality’ reference there. It was a flawed movie but it had a commentary on ageism.

[@nicolemarie151]

Being 30 doesn’t feel much different than 25.

[@dancingintherain7221]

Well a bit. I can't drink as much as I used to. I die the next day after I had 3 Cocktails. But other than that I could not agree more:)

[@kathleenjohnston3582]

@@dancingintherain7221 I’ve been like that since I was 22 😅 I guess 30 won’t be much different

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

@@dancingintherain7221 why do you wanna drink them much anyway

[@wildcatste]

except your back (or your knees) hurt

[@prairiehorse6168]

I certianly can't do without sleep now. My body isn't aa forgiving as it was in my 20s 😪

[@matthewrecord3405]

I think one thing the video glosses over when it comes to women and having children specifically is the medical profession's use of old, mostly bad data to pressure women into think there will be massive issues or risks associated with having children after 30, or especially after 35. These difficulties and risks, while real, are also usually overstated and, more importantly, aren't just derived from social convention but have the veneer of empirical immutability.

[@hojeapeteceme]

As a woman who intends to have kids and is in her early 30's. The pressure is insane. And even though sometimes I think I'll wait until my later 30's, I also think about the different phases my kids will go through and how much time I'll have to spend with them. The later I choose to have kids, the less time I'll have with them. Also, I don't want to go through a kid's adolescence during my 50's 😅

[@herefortheshrimp1469]

I just turned 31 and am genuinely considering freezing my 🥚

[@gingit3239]

Really? I’ve heard the opposite - people gloss over the realities of fertility issues and think things like egg freezing are quick fixes when they actually aren’t guaranteed to work at all, especially as you get older

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

My mom had me at 36 just fine.

[@matthewrecord3405]

@@gingit3239 I don't think people "gloss over" the realities of fertility issues at all. I also can't imagine who these people are that regard freezing their eggs-which is extremely invasive and costs thousands and thousands of dollars-as a "quick fix." These are difficult but necessary steps in a society that has offloaded workplace training responsibilities onto individuals and hasn't made any necessary reforms to housing, to childcare, to the student loan apparatus, to labor laws in recognition of modern economic and social realities. If you put many people in a situation where it is wildly irresponsible for them to have children before they're 35, guess what? People will be forced to wait until they're 35 to have children.

[@leilamaach5229]

That's why having your kids in your late 30s early 40s is not that bad. Your children won't have to pressure themselves at their late 20s thinking "when my parents were my age they had already settled down...".

[@aquababy5]

Um but then your parents won’t have much time with grandkids. And my grandparents died when I was young. Not always ideal but I guess I’m glad I had mature parents.

[@esmee6308]

@@aquababy5 Life expectancy has brought my at least 5 years, but also life just isn't comparable. When my mum was in her 20s, her education got paid for by the government, houses were very reasonable and affordable and she could easily be a stay-at-home-mum with dad being the sole provider. Seeing dad did reasonably well for himself he could have retired at 45 and provided for all of us for the rest of his life (assuming we'd move out and get a job at some point obviously.) It's just wild to think that my mum had both my brother and I, lost her husband, remaried and travelled the whole world by her mid-30s. Meanwhile I'm considered one of the lucky ones because I'm not living with my parents and actually got a decent living-area (for one person). Because affordable housing is non-existent and anyone who had an education is in massive debt due to a messed up borrowing system we were the first (and last) generation to have. Not exactly ideal pop-out-a-kid-envoirnement. And I'd say all things considered... I'm very fortunate to be where I'm from.

[@coops1992]

No way. Way better to give birth early in your 20's so your kids are born as healthy as possible. And for men it's before you hit 45.

[@leilamaach5229]

@@coops1992 Most people don't have a stable income in their early 20s, so I don't know how "healthy" those kids are going to be, specially in countries with a difficult access to health care. Also, nowadays the risks of having kids after 35 have severly decreased. In Southern Europe for example, many women get pregnant in their early 40s and give birth to perfectly healthy babies.

[@pinacolada1393]

My parents had me at 40 & I feel bad because I saw there health decline fast ☹️. They didn't drink smoke or do drugs, It was definitely WORK & the mental physical stress on both of them. I never got to throw a ball with them & they never made it to school functions because of work schedules....

[@Salmy3]

I turned 30 a few months into the pandemic, and right now I feel lost in everything i'm doing, like I don't have any choices left

[@tarabecares3323]

This video came at such a perfect time, I turned 30 recently and have been feeling the anxiety of not "having my life together" yet, being in a job I'm not satisfied with and just starting school to gain my bachelors. Doesn't help that 90% of the students there are young 20 somethings and feeling like an aunt to everyone. But this video did help remind me that I'm not the only one going through this, so i really appreciated this video

[@PhantomApprentice]

Comforting to know that I can live beyond 30. I'm hitting that milestone this summer and honestly couldn't be happier to leave my 20s behind. I'm so tired of living my life according to an archaic standard. So I'm celebrating the death of my youth by going to Disney World.

[@Tttttttttttttttt484]

I guess I’m confused why you assumed you didn’t have a life beyond 30

[@cass465]

Honestly felt suicidal when someone said to me “you’re gonna be thirty in 3 years, what do you have to show for it?” - seriously made me hate myself and my life.

[@adrenalinbemyride7768]

So use it to do more and most important LIVE

[@hannanatalisa3282]

Millennial here. I was born the year the Berlin wall was destroyed. The night before my 30th birth day I went to sleep, and when I woke up in the morning, you know what? No crisis happened. I was healthy, a roof over my head, food to eat, and surrounded by family. Stop worrying guys, and be thankful for each day you have. 💕

[@siewitnessnews]

I'll be 32 this year, which is the age my mom was when she gave birth to me, and I DEFINITELY don't have it all figured out. I've only recently let go of this idea that my life needs to look a certain way based on my age.

[@eliadavis3881]

Strangely i always feared 30, but weirdly, now that I'm 30 i have became more Confidante and just accept my reality. even tough I don't have a career or a high paying job. Kinda love this age and what I have personally accomplished so far. Having my own little family and having someone to protect and love.

[@joylynch5204]

Relationships are the most important in life. In out last days, that is what is most beloved

[@eliadavis3881]

@@joylynch5204 and what will be there for us, the people that love us, not the career.

[@EliDavidson24601]

I was so ready to turn 30 and it's been soooo much better than my 20s. I started a new job, got married, and got accepted to grad school. I have real genuine friends that I actually like, I'm healthier than ever, and I have direction and goals for the first time in my life. 30s are great, y'all

[@lovestadance]

Strangely enough I felt this way about entering my 20s. When the pandemic started, I was 19 and now I'll soon be 22. It feels like two years were cut off my life and I've been scrambling to find my purpose for months bc I feel like there's something I should be working towards, especially after dropping out of college. I'm just confused about everything.

[@zinniasfordays]

Great timing. I'm 2 weeks away from my 30th and the panic is real

[@lauran5427]

Honestly, I felt the same leading up to my 30th but felt a great relief once I did hit the milestone. The real beauty of turning 30 was not having it all together but feeling more together and confident in myself. You've got this! 😊

[@btrixlestrange6432]

It's just a number. Nothing has really changed since i turned 30.

[@VegimorphtheMovieBoy]

I just turned 33 a few weeks ago and I DEFINITELY relate to this. This was pretty much in my brain all last year and my mental health took a nose dive because of it (Am currently in a job that I'm not satisfied and am very stressed out by, but I'm afraid to quit because I'm horrible at job hunting and this is the only one I could get; I'd see all of my friends' successes on social media and be kicking myself because I didn't have a great job or a girlfriend, or working with celebrities, etc. and that I'd never be able to get my dream career off the ground in time, if at all, and that I wasn't at where I was "supposed to be" by now) But then, at the end of last year, I saw Tick, Tick...Boom! and it was exactly the right movie that I needed to see at that moment. It made me realize that I didn't have to rush, that I wasn't running out of time, that all was not lost. That I just needed to take it one step and day at a time, and just keep working on my dream. Hearing that there's more media and stories like this, makes me feel a whole lot better in that I'm not alone and gives me some confidence to face the future. Thank you for this. :-)

[@mimibee3835]

33 too here and I feel you! Stuck in a stressful job that fills me with dread every morning but too scared to get out of the security of it, not sure of what my dreams are and all of my friends are married/settled - of course it doesn't mean they are always happy but still I envy their "security". Definitely gonna watch Tick tick boom if it's relatable and helpful as you say!

[@sneakykamon]

I want to lend my own perspective to this and explain why I can’t and never related to this mentality. Because growing up as a young Black male in the inner city, I was always told that boys who looked like me would “never live past the age of 21” (or 25 depending on who’s saying it). So when I turned 33 this past January, I made it a point to acknowledge that phrase because its such a messed up thing for Black men to say to young Black boys coming of age. That’s why I look at every single birthday that I get to as a blessing because I wanted to make sure that I didn’t become just another statistic as had been suggested to me. When I turned 21, I was a college dropout with big dreams but no direction. When I was 24, I was homeless. Now at 33, I’m a soon-to-be college graduate whose dreams finally feel attainable, all because I chose to bet on myself and tune out everyone who had opinions on how my life should be. I’m not married nor do I have kids, though I hope to have both some day, but I’m not living my life for all of that right now. I feel like worrying too much about reaching a certain age is an ego thing more than anything🤷🏾‍♂️

[@byunbaekhyun4010]

You're an inspiration to me. I hope you're doing well!

[@RachaelTheRed]

I turn 30 this year and honestly, I used to feel this way but the closer I get to 30, the more I look back on my 20s and see the struggle and the heartache and the anxiety of trying to figure everything out. I may not have my life "together" per se but I have 10 years of practice in being an adult under my belt and I'm excited to enter 30 with that perspective.

[@degematters1450]

this is beautiful and inspiring

[@NMConsi]

I just turned 30 last week. One part of me is fine with it, the other is terrified. The one thing that really put me at ease is other people in their 30s beeing in the same situation as me and cool with it. It showed me that all that pressure that I feel is basically just in my head because nobody needs to apologize for how they live their life. Thank you for the video. Came just in the right time

[@ingusch3783]

Turning 30 this year has been like this daunting grim deadline for me for years now ... still single, still without a child, still no house or any assets - but, like, I've gotten a master's, I've gotten a job, I've finally started therapy to take care of myself and to hopefully struggle less mentally than I did in my 20s. If we manage to drop these expectations of having hit "life goals"/"mile stones" that others think we should've hit by now, and just really reflect on everything we've been through and overcome, I'm convinced many of us would see that we can be proud of us.

[@ayeilak5]

As a Black woman turning 30 is important alot of us don't make to 30. Breonna Taylor 26 and Sandra Bland 28.

[@malakcanvas]

True. Mortality rates for us a heartbreaking.

[@tyla140]

I thought of this a few weeks ago 😔 My 30th birthday is in November and I'm nervous because it's so common for us to die young now.

[@ayeilak5]

@@tyla140 Your going be okay Happy birthday ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@snowhumanka]

I think the big issue is that as kids we see adults as these capable people that have everything figured out. When in fact no one knows what they're doing. But this perception is so ingrained in us that we keep waiting for this magical switch into "adulthood" that is not coming and probably will never come. I have two little kids (it feels so weird to write that) and they look at me like I have everything figured out when in fact I feel like I'm only a few steps ahead of them. They seem to think that because I know how to make them a snack means that I know how to do everything :D

[@aderita209]

I am 34 soon to be 35. And now I feel like finally I love my life but it took me 4 years to accept that my path was going to be different.

[@Nico-pq8fw]

As someone who just turned 30 a couple days ago (and had massive anxiety about that), thank you for this video!

[@f1ix]

30 for exactly a month now. Achieved a lot so far. Job, girlfriend, coach in sports, several events in planning. Wishing to be 20 again and relive the last 10 years again 🙈

[@akiram6609]

As a Gen Xer, I found out that the expectation of having all things figured out by 30 is a pipe dream. One never figures everything out. To expect to do so is an illusion and I’ve lived long enough to know that life throws so much curve balls that we can never figure everything out. Just take life one day at a time.

[@stylesandsmarts]

I did face a bit of a crisis before I turned 30, even though I logically knew it was arbitrary. Turns out my logical side was right as my 30s have been some of the most productive and life-affirming. And now I'm facing turning 40 next year and I'm really looking forward to what's to come.

[@anthonyscarborough3813]

This whole idea of having done or being XYZ by an arbitrary said age is so American. In many other parts of the world, such as Latin America, where my family’s from, stuff like living with your parents or slowly transitioning to adulthood over several years isn’t unheard of. Also, since I’m the spectrum, my mom never pushed to do specific things by a certain age. She let me go at my own pace.

[@bigolboogerlord1861]

Not me being awake at 3am having a crisis about turning 30. This was very comforting, thank you

[@unionunicorn6776]

“I had this nightmare that I woke up and I was 32. And then I woke up so relieved that I was 23. And then I woke up and I was 32.” I’m 32. Thank you for making this video for those of us feeling this way. 🥺

[@1MegArbo]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I have bad news for you all: There is a crisis at EVERY age! I am just about - 50 - GASP! and TOTALLY overhauling my life! Stressful AF. "Stable" job is BS (A company will cut you if it saves them money. Always). Home ownership can be a real trap - it is NOT for everyone. A couple of my friends who are considered "successful" choose to rent - less headache. Also, be really careful with college: that degree is definitely not all it is cracked up to be anymore. In fact, I am still paying off my effing BA! My Gen X ass has that in common with Milennials (I was screwed by Sallie Mae/Navient). As for kids? Do you really want them or do others want you to have them? That is a very important question to ask yourself. Also, the majority of my friends who were married are now divorced or on marriage 2 or 3. So...thirty is...just a number. An arbitrary benchmark indeed. YOU HAVE TIME!!!! Figure out who you are and what you REALLY want. And have the courage to tear it all down and start again if that is what you have to do.

[@marissawilson9460]

I thought I’d own a house by 30 much less 35…. Not in this economy 😔 I’m married, a pet mom with a cat as my fur baby, a small business entrepreneur and nowhere closer to that magical financial stability we’re supposed to have by the time we’re in our 30s. Videos like this help. I’m not alone in feeling this way.

[@tamerakennedy6893]

I feel so depressed cause I just turned 30 but I’m thankful at the same time cause some ppl aren’t alive

[@fjmradio1537]

i'm 35, and i'm doing me, i stopped giving a fuck about other people's expectations when i was 21

[@bluishblow]

i'm turning 25 next month and i was already feeling this pressure, is so refreshing watching this

[@nikki5095]

I just turned 30, and I have to say that my mid-twenties were by far the most emotionally challenging for me so far. It actually got better for me starting at 26--I started to feel like I knew myself, make decisions from that place, and consider what I really wanted. And honestly, I have just felt more emotionally stable. Wishing you the best on your journey!

[@bluishblow]

@@nikki5095 omg thank you so much 💙 i'm glad you were able to become more comfortable with yourself, hope you can continue this

[@nikki5095]

@@bluishblow Thank you too! :)

[@selfeffacingbarbie]

I can heavily relate to this. I'm turning 29 in a couple months and I feel like I have no direction. it's caused me a lot of stress and anxiety and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me, so I'm glad to know I'm not alone there. I wish we didn't live in a world where we're expected to hustle for success so early on. It's exhausting.

[@mothmustardseed1858]

As a woman with adhd, anxiety and bipolar II, I’ve always felt like I never met the milestones my peers achieved. I turn 30 in less than 5 months. I’m scared, but hopeful. So far every year has been better than the last, so I hope the trend continues.

[@saltandlight93]

Yes I suffered abuse for many years so I never had a "Normal" timeline. That's perhaps why I don't feel the pressure

[@hahahahaahhahahaahah]

I think the mark of maturity and adulthood is planning, delayed gratification, and taking on responsibility for yourself/ others. That may be reflected in getting married or buying a house. But I think people chase the status symbols without wanting the hard work and sacrifice or understanding the real purpose of life

[@ShadowProject01]

Here’s a nuggets of truth: Even at 40 most still don’t have it figured out😏

[@alyzu4755]

Or 52. 😏

[@anuragchakraborty8766]

32 and feel like shit

[@kamilareeder1493]

Thanks dude. I work as a professional ballet dancer. Im 23 and I am working 🙂☝️ I dont have forever to be a dancer, but people keep telling me im gonna be washed up if I don't make it by 25 😪🙃 Thankfully its a lie lol. Our art director at the company dances with us and she's 70.many of the principals are in their 30s and 40s as well.

[@Evan_Makeba]

"If I could kill myself and come back 18 months from now... I'd do it." I FELT THAT. SAME!!

[@nikki5095]

You should definitely watch Inside if you have Netflix! :)

[@Godilove17]

I’m 32 years old. My 20s were mixed with being young and fun in my early 20s and being really rough with not having expectations being met in my mid/late 20s (my quarter life crisis). I was genuinely afraid of turning 30 because of how the second half of my 20s turned out to be. Now that I’m in my 30s, the feelings of both achieving a lot at my age and nowhere near anything that I expected to be and have accomplished at this age come up a lot. But then, I look at the lives of my elders and remember that I am still young enough to achieve and have the life that I deserve. Not only that, there’s growing up that you’ve done (hopefully) and yet still growing up to do. It’s an odd but truly remarkable decade for me that’s just getting started!

[@darkwarriormaster9644]

Not the first time I’ve watched this video. I turned 30 only a few months ago. I’m a single and childless man, but I’m also an army veteran in the last month of getting his bachelor’s degree and working on reenlisting afterwards. Also, an aspiring writer.

[@omnipotentfaces1514]

Omg I feel this perpetual fear of running out of time and I’m gonna be 24 this Sunday. Need more content making late bloomers and age being normal or even good 😭

[@elananova]

Also turning 24 but in June and it's stressing me out too.

[@abiola33]

Watching this after turning 35 recently felt somewhat soothing.

[@sydposting]

I turned 30 last year, I've only just "started" feeling like I've figured out who I am and what I'll be doing with my life. Stories like "Inside" and "Tick Tick Boom" getting released around the same time was a weird kind of comfort. I feel like I'm handling things in a healthy way these days, looking to grow on my past experiences instead of reaching for what I think I'm "supposed" to be getting done.

[@wildcatste]

I'm 35 and still have no idea wtf I'm doing. Difference between now and my 20s is I care way less what others think. It's pretty liberating.

[@Rahshu]

This was really more about "figuring yourself out" than talking about the actual conditions under which people are trying to realize the milestones of adulthood. I'm entering middle age, and figuring myself out has never really been much of a priority. I've just been trying to survive. Speaking for myself, that kind of concern has always struck me as a somewhat privileged preoccupation. Most of those characters in the various media clips looked pretty comfortably middle class to me, but I admit to not being familiar with the majority of them. I'd love to be comfortable enough to be able to worry about something other than making next month's rent or stretching a food budget with a rumbling stomach.

[@leapace9480]

Weird. I never felt like my youth was coming close to ending until I started realizing that i was nearing 40. I feel the crunch now - at 39. 30 still felt like childhood.

[@rainymelancholia5902]

I'll be turning 27 this October and the pressure to get married, have kids, a stable career are taking a huge toll that I'm considering to end it all when I turn 30. Thankfully this video came up at the right time and I'm crying happy tears now. Thank you so much for covering this topic.