Lily and Marshall - What is a Soulmate? (How I Met Your Mother)

[@maeveh1376]

Lily and Marshall's marital issues are far more realistic. Conflict over career plans, money and identity instead of just the boring misunderstandings and cheating arcs we usually see

[@trinaq]

I concur 100%!😎 I almost always tend to get more immersed in the supporting couple, as opposed to the main couple that we're supposed to root for to end up together. Lily and Marshall were this show's Monica and Chandler, in that they were more realistic, stable and caring, and you found it easier to believe them as a couple, and want them to stay together. 💘👫😍

[@mandyrogers368]

That’s why I love this show so much

[@birdiebee3636]

You could not be more right. I'm a Aries girl and my soulmate boyfriend is a Taurus, who moved next to me by accident. We are both go-getters, both have horns, but it's never toxic. We tend to be described as Marge and Homer Simpson, Ron Swanson and Tammy 2 or Mike Lawrey and the Witch from the last Bad Boys movie...it might sound crazy, but it works!

[@yukishakura]

AGREEEEEEE

[@nmeyers92]

Black Ninja that’s because it’s realistic

[@summer_the_rae]

Fun fact: Alyson Hannigan didn't like kissing Jason Segel because he was a smoker, so the script started writing in less kisses for them and more high-fives, signifying Marshall and Lily being a team

[@user-pq6rm1be4q]

Is that Quinn in your profile picture I can't tell

[@summer_the_rae]

@@user-pq6rm1be4q It is!

[@angelashinner]

But they kissed thousands of times 💀

[@coolcool-yk7rm]

@@angelashinner they kissed less at the last 3 seasons tho

[@angelashinner]

@@coolcool-yk7rm they did? Seemed so much more to me.

[@josianepereira2267]

"Soulmates aren't found, they are made. That's the answer Chidi." The Good Place taught a beautiful lesson ♥️

[@jukr9285]

The Good Place taught so many beautiful lessons, right?

[@salomef680]

Ju Kr especially about corrupt motivations behind good deeds!

[@annikataylor9052]

Wait I was just watching this

[@PowerBuffBoys]

It got boring pretty fast though.

[@PowerBuffBoys]

IMO

[@user-ub8oi7oh3r]

I loved that Marshall wasn’t scared to be slightly feminine (stereotypically feminine by that I mean) he was free from chains of toxic masculinity and that’s all I want

[@berryjunkie]

I recently rewatched himym and noticed exact that. And I love that ! If you think about “how long ago” the show aired it’s really ahead of its time.

[@user-ub8oi7oh3r]

Buga Duga you took the words right out of my mouth! To me Marshall was the only character that seemed to be ahead of time - I’ve watched the show so many times I noticed Marshall was the only one who made no derogatory comments towards lgbtq+

[@thettproject4534]

@@islanangle1404 ohhh shut up, it's funny! In today's politically correct world where everything is offensive, how tf are we supposed to make comedies?! Maybe PG rated, like the muppet show?

[@ginao6810]

Thett Project if your sense of humour depends of homophobia and rape jokes, maybe you have a crap sense of humour. Smart comedy can make anything funny. Maybe it’s over your head

[@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife]

@Blessing Osamudiamen hell, yeah!! 🙌🙌

[@jennabethbeauty]

Whereas Ted was a "nice guy" who was inwardly horrible and toxic, and Barney was a horrible and toxic guy, yet inwardly a nice guy, Marshall was an ACTUAL, true, nice guy and good man!

[@EFraser427]

Yeahhhhh, even if Barney had some people he treated nicely I really wouldn’t describe him as a nice guy. Also, I think Ted is at heart a good person, he just really needs Marshall to slap him in the face five or six times, tell him he’s being an idiot, and to cut that shit out. He’s not nearly as bad as Ross from Friends, or Duckie from Pretty in Pink. Fortunately, I really think that the nice guys we see on TV are improving. Will on Single Parents (damn that show’s cancellation) was just about the sweetest guy you can imagine. He and Angie had a very heartwarming friendship, were very supportive of each other’s romantic relationships, and any interference was just them trying to help.

[@carlossalgado3677]

44GlenCoCo Ted wasn’t that bad. Especially compared to someone like Ross

[@jennabethbeauty]

I mean, I think we can for sure all agree that Ross was just the worst period 🥴😂😂

[@alexman378]

Tyler Fraser No, Barney was a nice guy who got slapped in the face really hard and never emotionally matured past it.

[@bigpulgalokes]

Tyler Fraser Ted chased a girl who was clear she didn’t want him and he warn her out. That’s all it was. He used people and when they aren’t his ideal fantasies he throws them away. He likes the honeymoon part of the relationship but he doesn’t put effort into his relationships. Not in any of his relationship did he try to understand or support his partner. It’s always what he wanted. He never got to know them at all, his partners were prizes for his fantasy. While Ross, who is shitty, was there for Rachel and supported her when she was with Joey and other men. Ted told Victoria not to go to France and what happened? He cheated on her. Ross, he didn’t want her to go but he saw how happy she looked and supported her decision. He didn’t want her to stay he just wanted her to know how he felt.

[@Missmary852]

They remind me of Monica and Chandler. In the words of Monica:"You fall in love and then work really hard on the relationship". That's the secret, you don't look for a dream, like the "cool girl".

[@baggergurl16]

Exactly that's why I never believed in soulmates.

[@alexc.7035]

@@baggergurl16 i actually used to believe in soulmates and still (sometimes) believe in destiny, but since I watched Friends and saw Monica and Chandler's relationship, I started thinking that you have to work in the relationship if you want it to work, it's not all magic.

[@calico27]

And just as Monica says.. somedays, you gotta work really, realllly hard. And those 'days' could go on for a few weeks, while you explain and patiently wait for your husband to figure shit out.

[@notwerkinginthishouse8634]

@@calico27 I just don't like Chandler and Monica

[@adriennesabinesolante6553]

artistic persona why?

[@trinaq]

Marshall has always been my favourite HIMYM guy. He's generous, loving, kind, unashamedly dorky, compromising and hardworking. Whereas Ted was a "NICE GUY", Marshall was always the real deal. May everyone out there find their own Marshall at some stage! 🤝💘😻

[@AlexanderTheMedium]

Marshall is also a nice guy. Those hate videos on nice guys suck xd

[@PequenaNoobAmaPudim]

@@AlexanderTheMedium "nice guy" isn't the same as nice guy tho. One is for those who say they're nice guys and bc of that they should have everything they want from another person (roughly saying), and the other for a nice person who happened to be a guy

[@isabellanebs22]

LOVED Marshall

[@sophieejiwen9971]

yeah

[@Lauren-rl4eu]

@@AlexanderTheMedium nobody hates nice guys. We hate *nice guys*

[@Catpuff818]

"Some of us want a partner who challenges us to grow and evolve " Ted says, clearly not referring to himself.

[@alexman378]

Yeah, I remember when he said that and I was like, “didn’t he want someone who would be perfectly suited to him? How is that challenging to you?” We even see Barney of all people get it by the end. The love of his life turned out to be his daughter and that’s the one who would truly challenge him, because Robin was also perfect for him and didn’t really challenge him. He even regressed almost as soon as they got divorced.

[@hegluj6796]

Has anyone realized that in the latter seasons Barney and robins relationship was like the one that Marshall and lily had? Like not just being in love but also being best friends

[@trinaq]

Oh yes, that may have been a key reason as to why Barney and Robin worked so much better than Robin and Ted. Barney and Robin were similar, and he accepted her for exactly who she was, warts and all. Ted seemed intent on trying to change her to fit HIS idea of a dream girl, regardless of what she wanted. Marshall and Lily were the perfect example of a loving, committed relationship, which Barney and Robin followed to a tee. 💘👫

[@hegluj6796]

Trina Q ted and robin being together was a fantasy one writer had because ted is based off of him and he needed to end with the ultimate happiness, ted and Tracy not only served as a solid relationship but as a lesson that you shouldn’t obsess with things that simply don’t work but in the end they told us that it’s okay to be obsessed with a girl because in 20 years she’s going to be sorry for not choosing you

[@stepfiel.p.2631]

I would have to disagree. I also thought of that the first time I watched HIMYM but after rewatching it for the nostalgia, I realized that there is many red flags in Barney and Robin's relationship. Yes they seem compatible but not enough to stay in a relationship in a long run. Also, Ted and Robin didn't work because they both have different goals in life. Ted was willing to throw it away but Robin knew that is too much of a sacrifice for him so they both ended it.

[@hegluj6796]

Stepfie L.P. Can you name some red flags? Because there were much more indicators that they would work and definitely there were more red flags in her relationship with ted. Also, you may be right if the show ended in season 2 but for the dismay of the writers it lasted 7 seasons more and for some reason the writers decided to write the relationship they wanted the audience to root for as an incompatible one. Remember how they didn’t really shared anything in common, lacked chemistry, Ted didn’t really liked how robin was and only wanted her to fill in the role of his perfect woman while Barney encouraged her to be herself, ted and robin having to sleep together just so they could stop fighting when they were roommates and ted even found out that she was moving the moment he was starting another discussion. They got along as friends but certainly not as lovers and not even as best friends

[@stepfiel.p.2631]

@@hegluj6796 Sure, but it's been a long time since I watched it so forgive me if I may have confused this with something else. I always find it odd that Robin and Barney got back together without having to discuss why their relationship in the past didn't work. They immediately brush that off and got married. 2) How they do not like to talk when arguing and go as far as to have sex just to avoid uncomfortable situation. 3) Although the engagement of surprising her with everything Canadian themed, she was so stressed out because she had to handle some of the wedding details and her fiance, even if it's a sweet gesture, is a bit insensitive in my opinion 4) How Barney resembled Robin's father so much and when she was comforted by her mother saying how she just need someone who she can rely on and she will be okay 5) She almost attempted to run away when she found out that Ted got her that necklace, much to what Ted didn't want to happen. She started to list down things that made her worry about her relationship with Barney (she probably should have done that before saying yes). The list was a bit too long than I wanted to but there is also that scene where Robin chose the psychiatrist, Kevin over Barney. She asked the same question to both but Kevin got it right.

[@clarar362]

6:55 “Just ‘cause some cute girl likes the same bizarro crap you do, that doesn’t make her your soulmate,Tom” -500 Days of Summer ❤️

[@myajanette]

I love that movie so much😭💕

[@LuisMartinez-rw2lj]

Ted and tom would be good friends

[@Sweethearts4969]

this is a genius quote to mention!!! love it

[@crystality_y]

@@LuisMartinez-rw2lj architect team

[@anastasialovesoranges]

"Bottom line is, couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. " - Dr Perry Cox, 2002

[@shanejensen904]

Scrubs is my shit

[@judeannethecandorchannel2153]

**Awesome.**

[@kcams358]

Amazon prime?

[@gravetiger9333]

Cox is the man 👌

[@Beanhill_94]

We all want a Marshall

[@moviequeen2229]

going to college next fall, I think my radio is going to be broken reaaal quick 😆

[@michaelotis223]

Speak for yourself, I want a Lily!

[@DashkaTochkaCom]

I got my Marshal 3 years ago ❤️

[@ronjag158]

I'd rather find a lily

[@sViviftie]

But... What if we want a Lily? 😨

[@1800Hernandez]

As time goes on, Marshall and Lily's relationship is one of the few things that I still like about HIMYM, while Ted seems like more of a scumbag over time.

[@kefkiroth42]

Same, whenever I rewatch I skip his monologues or whatever shit he says about "muh soulmate" lol

[@mullaoslo]

Lily is much worse than Ted

[@minipinkrosa]

Literally same

[@judeannethecandorchannel2153]

I still like all the characters--though Barney did some evil things before finding himself

[@notwerkinginthishouse8634]

@@mullaoslo yeah, i don't understand why ppl make Ted like some really horrible guy I mean, yeah, he has flaws, but he has qualities too

[@SL-fb1ze]

So we maybe have to rename soul mate in "soulmade"

[@darkdream1469]

Wow.. 👌

[@camillethuillier5948]

Yes yes yes...

[@anantrathod804]

Damn! That's profound.

[@alenunya]

Genius

[@suha.14]

Dang that’s so deep 😩 😩

[@weronikalinda4917]

When you think about it, Marshall is actually the best of them. He's devoted, mature, ambitious, hard-working, he knows what he wants, and yet he's still full of enthusiasm and child-like curiosity. He's also the only one who's always been an amazing friend to all the other characters. He never let anyone down, always supportive and dependable.

[@skylight_gameuse]

and that confirms those kind of guys are always already taken lol

[@bw-xv2rz]

apart from the fact that he has always fanned the flames for ted's obsession over the idea of robin being "perfect", yeah he's the best

[@fatoumatacisse3796]

he is leasi selfsih and manipulative I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

[@vb2806]

@@skylight_gameuse Those kinds of guys aren't taken till they are successful.

[@slevinchannel7589]

People wanna write cool Lines for their characters; especially in Superhero-Movies; but what about Take Lessons, people. Get it right, alright: Having a List with a Hundred Names of Partners should get the exact reaction out of you as that Childhood-Friend of Barney had (Shock), and this Line with the Marriage-Documents from Marshal was pretty Cool.

[@ijayawardena3692]

Marshall is the best character in HIMYM

[@trinaq]

Absolute facts, I won't disagree with you on that count! 💯💘👫

[@DaleNovella]

The most decent character on the show!

[@wookie5478]

Nah braney is wait for it................. Best character

[@evandaugherty1223]

You spelled *Barney wrong

[@windshieldlaugh7411]

Why..?

[@rathelmmc3194]

I think the most important lesson from Marshall and Lily’s relationship is that any two people can make it if they try. The idea of a soulmate is toxic to marriages as it gives a reason for people to duck out of perfectly fine relationships because they’re bored. Anybody can be your soulmate and nobody can be your soulmate depending on how utopian you want the person to be.

[@BearMcBongwater420]

I think this is well illustrated when Victoria asks him to stop being friends with Robyn and he chooses Robyn knowing full well that she doesn't want to be with him and doesn't love him. Victoria was willing to give up EVERYTHING, she truly worked on the relationship and Ted just made it blow up in her face like it meant absolutely nothing EVEN THOUGH he was LEFT AT THE ALTAR FOR ANOTHER GUY. Uhg omg ted is such a dick xD

[@marcusanark2541]

Well said, attraction might not be a choice but love is.

[@JM-bg2ts]

Boredom is still a legit reason amoungst others to end a relationship though.

[@minamorgul]

This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you think this, it’s because you haven’t found the right person for you. I speak from experience.

[@TIAGO-M75]

Soulmates doesn't exist I'm totally in love with my girlfriend but I think there's no such thing as we were born to each other and to be together we simply fell in love with each other we put effort in our relationship and if you ask me my wish is to spend the rest of my life with other but of course that sometimes we just don't agree and that's the moments when you realise that soulmates are just a myth and you simply have to work when you find someone you really love but trust me she was not meant for the same way she wasn't meant to anybody in special and the same works for me I didn't born to be with her we simply fell in love and that's love but it's certainly not destiny

[@helenarosno]

I’m just going to say it. We need more love stories like Marshall and Lily. A love story doesn’t have to always start with friends to lovers or a will they won’t they ending with the big kiss.

[@monabohamad2242]

Lol funny my favorite couple in ALL of Fiction seemed to have been a friends to lovers as well as a will they won't they couple and people seem to love to hate/complain/whine about those things for some whatever reason(s)

[@ines2fenoyl756]

@Marie ᶘ oᴥoᶅ Yeah ! I truly think that her arguments kinda made sense in their last season fight? Until this day I don't really know which side I'm on but I don't think this situation was comparable to the whole San Fransisco thing. Like their situation as a couple and as a family were totally different, and she had planned this whole idea of her new life in her head, and as Lily is lowkey a control-freak, I can totally see why she reacted like that. I interpret her character as someone who really doesn't react well to change, so with robin and barney getting married, her pregnancy and everything, I think marshall not telling her about the job was too much for her and she just freaked out. Yeah sorry about the rant, but I see way too many people hating on her when I truly think she's a great, but flawed and human character.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

@@monabohamad2242 i dont get it either. I love friends to lovers romances. Marshal and Lilly sort of became friends on the way too which is nice too.

[@jocelynfisher3174]

It's the "bad" moments that make Lily and Marshall the most badass couple. Plus those high fives man!

[@IschmarVI]

the blind high fives are to this day one of my favourite things in the show.

[@nicolekayefelizarta4834]

The world needs more marshalls and lilys.

[@ashishkalam9337]

Not Lilys

[@dabson547]

no not lillys those people dont deserve any thing

[@fatbean2000]

They were way to codependent!

[@lucainvernizzi9715]

@Marie ᶘ oᴥoᶅ something small like sabotaging every relationship Ted ever had? Come on, let's be real: lily is a bad person who was lucky enought to meet Marshall. It's ok in a sitcom, she was a fun character, but she was real bad.

[@yabisity]

If you think about it. The world is filled with marshall and lilys. We just cant find each other.

[@g.a.o273]

Okay but Barney was the guy that is supposed to be who girls are told they think they want, Ted is the guy girls are told they secretly want, and Marshal is the guy girls actually want

[@amandak.5967]

ehh I get the reasoning, but also, not all girls want the same thing. We're all different. Right now in my life I don't want a Ted, Barney or a Marshal.

[@laurajane192]

I would say Ted ist the one everybody tells us we want, barney is the one we secretly want and Marshall is the one we actually want.

[@g.a.o273]

Amanda K. I agree w you that everyone is different but!!! I mean that as a society we’re told that girls always go for “jerks” when in reality they want the “nice guy” , but in actuality we want a partner that respects us both physically, emotionally, and in public and private

[@rosemali3022]

@@amandak.5967 I'm with you. Actually, I would want a Tracy or a Robin or a Lily. Heck, I would prefer an Oh, Honey to men lol.

[@raycologne1060]

good analysis, we had three very different male characters

[@MariaJoseRangelUwU]

Love is a journey... ELEANOR AND CHIDI FOREVER AND EVER

[@michsulit]

Jeremy Bearimy, baby.

[@suha.14]

No, Eleanor and Tahani

[@nicoleprada1706]

Marshall it's the type of husban all of us girls should be looking for 💕

[@Aster_Risk]

@@Chris-rg6nm Good job misrepresenting that comment.

[@liz2saintvideos]

@@Chris-rg6nm he also doesn't even exist

[@AD240pCharlie]

Marshall is the only character in the show who's a great friend, a good husband and a genuinely nice person, but Lily is probably the most toxic out of all of them.

[@lowercasename_]

Chris no? He’s just a good guy. A partner in life that is in it for the journey.

[@cupcakegurls909]

I just realized how much Joe from “You”, is like Ted.

[@myajanette]

Black Ninja but Joe is😂

[@truepoet4783]

Ted if he had a worse childhood

[@dr_lubaba]

Ted isn't bad he genuinely tries to be good and joe shows that he's good to manipulate. They're not the same.

[@kefkiroth42]

He's such a "nice guy"... I've always hated the character. Ted, I mean. He represents everything I dislike about characters like Tom from 500 Days of Summer. Let a woman be her own person god damn it. I felt more empathy towards Joe than Ted, but I guess that's normal since that was the point of the writing in "You".

[@fayedolan8882]

​@Lubu's Blues I think Ted and Joe on different levels, are manipulative but convince themselves otherwise, they both have a fantasy they place onto women ( with this example I'm referring to Beck and Robin) and internally give them a role as this 'ideal woman' and ignore the reality of the situation and their autonomy by virtue of not acknowledging the parts of these women that don't fit the fantasy. While of course Joe is an objectively horrible person I think their attitudes towards women and romance are a few shades off each other.

[@brandonclobes7788]

I like this a lot. Growing up I was a complete ted mosby. Looking for every imperfection as a sign that we’re not the ones for each other. Instead of just being happy with really great stuff. I think it’s an unlearning of what we’ve been programmed to think about relationships. It seems sad to think some people don’t ever get out of that frame of mind though.

[@monabohamad2242]

If Ted Mosby teaches people to stop being so overly logical then that doesn't seem like a very sad frame of mind somehow imo

[@cherylhulting1301]

You're right but one thing we can do is push back against things that encourage an unhealthy view of relationships. I long ago stopped watching romantic comedies because so many have ridiculous set ups and they encourage unrealistic messages about relationships.

[@lilil9752]

The most "Marshall and Lily" relationship Ted had was with Tracy judging by flashbacks ,but the show HAD to punish Robin for not choosing Ted. At least Lilly and Marshall were handled well

[@jessedellross3245]

Lily and Marshall were not handled well. She used him for his money and ultimately didn’t care about their relationship.

[@EFraser427]

I think the problem was more with the execution of the final season then the idea itself. We saw the moments with Robin seeing the group which could be best described as bittersweet, and it’s understandable why. At that point the friend group was 40% her former romantic partners, and 80% couples with kids, which can make it hard to relate to them. I would have liked more scenes with Robin getting back in to the group, and her and Ted getting closer over time. The show seemed to operate under the belief that a good couple needs three things: chemistry, timing, and similar goals. Ted and Robin had the first two down but always had different goals, at least until the end of the series. By that point, Ted had had the family and marriage he dreamed off, and Robin had achieved the kind of stellar career that few people have ever managed. Robin wasn’t punished for not choosing Ted, she’s always had a bit of a tendency to want what she can’t have, and wonder what might have been.

[@BlackCampariBlue]

@@jessedellross3245 please explain

[@kaylees.7378]

Jesse Dell Ross lily supported Marshall through law school?

[@jitkaurbanova9789]

@@jessedellross3245 what

[@maqbooltunio2561]

I ship these two so hard that it hurts

[@trinaq]

Me too, Lily and Marshall were ultimate couple goals to me while growing up! 💘👫

[@heretopartyx3]

why haha

[@Julika7]

I love Lilly and how she communicates. Such a key component of a thriving relationship.

[@BeGlamourlicious]

To be honest, I was an extremely happy single for a long, long time. Since a couple of weeks I’m dating someone and I have to figure out if I can be happy in a lasting relationship. Maybe I’m my one true soulmate. I kind of like that thought. I’m with me in sickness and in health, I don’t love myself 24/7 but most of the time.

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

What’s missing with this person? I love being by myself as well.

[@SL-zo4gw]

when i met my current boyfriend, i realised that he's the first person that i'm both physically attracted to + want to spend all my free time with. relationships really are a lot of work, so you might wanna invest your energy in a worthy partner

[@birdiewolf3497]

Right? I do wonder if I can really maintain a lasting romantic relationship with a person. It just seems like a lot of work I don't want to do.

[@SL-zo4gw]

@@birdiewolf3497 "work" means self-reflection, self-awareness, learning to set and respect boundaries, learning how to solve problems, how to talk about feelings (bad and good). all things you can and should cultivate in your platonic relationships as well. it's really about personal growth

[@SecretGurl3569]

idk why people always conflate relationships with selfhood? yeah you can love yourself and spend time with yourself, but that doesn't define whether you will have relationship/want to/fit for it. you're with yourself in sickness and health, because youre literally in your body, but being without someone else in sickness and health IS DIFFERENT, because its a choice that youre making, not some dead horse youre stuck in and dragging around. you can love yourself while you love another person, love your parents, love the orphans who don't have a home etc, love isn't capital.

[@emiprzyczyna5222]

Thank you, for explaining me why I've always liked Chandler and Monica and Lilly and Marshall better... It doesn't matter if they fat, tired, angry, have identity of fertility crisis etc... they choose each other every day and they work on their relationship unlike Ross and Rachel or Ted and Robyn....

[@erm492]

exactly

[@Greenballoffire]

Chandler and Marshall are my favourites!!! 💗💗

[@cherylhulting1301]

Well, the thing with Ted and Robin is that they really didn't want the same things. I've never understood why they were supposed to be a couple.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

In real life, it’s the “love as growth” theory that actually works. I was lucky enough to grow up with an example of one of those perfect couples- my parents. They got together as teenagers, though they definitely weren’t each other’s firsts. They’d both left high school and were working and living out of home. Mum jokes that she started dating dad because he had a car and was 18, so he could drive her places and buy her smokes and alcohol. Dad says he had a crush on her back when they were at high school together. Mum says she was far too popular to date a nerd like dad at the time. Though actually, they did know each other, they had been friends for a few years (also, mum apparently dated my godfather, my dad’s best mate for a little while, which is kinda weird), and so when mum and her roommate needed another roommate, dad moved in. Mum fell pregnant with me when they’d been together for only six months- she was 17 and dad was 18. They were 18 & 19 when I was born. They got married when I was just short of 2 years old, and they had another baby (my brother), when I was 3 and a 1/2. And they’re still together. They still love each other, they call each other their best friend, and I’ve never seen or heard them fight. Ever. Seriously. I know that last one is very weird. But what I learned from them is that relationships, especially the really good ones, take a lot of work. My parents talk to each other all the time. They wake up and have a coffee together. As soon as they get home they’ll spend time in their sitting room, just talking. Communication is really important (and it’s why they don’t fight, they talk everything out immediately). And they compromise. They’ve had to spend time apart because dad’s job had him working two hours from home, and it was too far to commute each day (because it’s two hours on a highway, it’s not a short distance, and it’s also a highway notorious for really nasty accidents), so dad rented an apartment close to work, and would sleep there during the week. They still talked on the phone each night, and for a long time too. Though thankfully this whole coronavirus thing has proved that dad can do most of his work from home, so he’ll only go in one day a week and he can finally live with mum full time again. They’re both very happy about that. So communication, compromise, and also, they have separate hobbies. They are together a lot, and talk a lot, but they don’t need to do EVERYTHING together. Mum is currently into mapping her family tree, and dad likes sport. But they also have things they both love doing, like travelling and glamping (their caravan is so pretty), and they both love cooking really gourmet food (it’s fantastic when I go to stay with them, because the food is top notch- I wouldn’t get that quality outside of a really expensive restaurant). So while I am more than happy to be single, I think I learned a lot about relationships from my parents. I’m not under the impression that I’ll just find my other half and everything will be happily ever after. Relationships take work, and compromise and a LOT of communication. And because of all the work they put into it, my parents have the healthiest relationship I’ve ever seen. They’re best friends. My dad still says that mum is the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Though I’m pretty sure that instead of her happening to fit his taste, she’s shaped his taste to fit her. Funny how that happens. They’re also both pretty laid back, and both have wicked senses of humour. Humour was a very big thing in my house growing up! They’ll have been together 35 years next month. And they’re still young enough that they have the chance of many, many more years together (mum is 51, dad 52). It’s sad that his type of relationship is so rare. Because it would be great if everyone had the chance to see what a close, loving, healthy and respectful relationship looks like. My parents are equals, and always have been. They equally switched off being a stay at home when my bro and I were younger. I didn’t even know that gender roles existed until I was older and learned about them at school. And immediately thought they were stupid and made no sense. And now I’m rambling (it’s the painkillers I’m on). But yeah- I learned a lot, and it’s really nice to grow up with this. I wish everyone could. I think when you do have an example like this, you’re more likely to pattern those actions yourself, more likely to have healthy and respectful relationships yourself, because you know what they look like, and how much work they take. But for those that don’t have an in person example to look at, having it on tv is the next best thing. And I think Marshall and Lily do have a great relationship, and make a lovely example to follow.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

Also, wow that was long! Sorry. I have opinions on this, obviously.

[@starbaby2671]

That was so beautiful and inspiring to read.

[@marianasouto5120]

So beautiful. Thank you for sharing😊

[@Aster_Risk]

That was an awesome comment. My parents have a similar story and are similar ages and just celebrated 31 years in April. I had a good example as well, and I think Marshall and Lily are are good television version for people who aren't lucky enough to have that.

[@JennaLeigh]

I think you should let your parents see that comment. I think it would really touch both of them to see how well they've done together and with you. Sending love to you and your parents!💗🖤

[@bettas5781]

I love Marshall! He reminds me so much of my husband! It has been a wonderful 13 years of marriage. I learned that even when you love each other, you have to work together as a team, communicate, and be honest with each other.

[@slevinchannel7589]

People wanna write cool Lines for their characters; especially in Superhero-Movies; but what about Take Lessons, people. Get it right, alright: Having a List with a Hundred Names of Partners should get the exact reaction out of you as that Childhood-Friend of Barney had (Shock), and this Line with the Marriage-Documents from Marshal was pretty Cool. All makes me wonder how self-aware this Show really is.

[@elysegymer9880]

People who believe in their own locus of control seem far more likely to lead happier lives because they can choose how they live them. If you wait around for fate or destiny to magically make your life better or solve your relationship issues, you blame life instead of improving yourself.

[@RisingUnderdog]

Well put

[@liv241]

This is really well said

[@JaneMJcheaptrick]

For people who are interested: This concept is called internal/external locus of control by Rotter.

[@anenayar1995]

They are one of the few best couples on the TV.

[@biborkabatki6320]

Jake and Amy from B99 are also a great example of a healthy, growth love

[@L16htW4rr10r]

Yup yup!

[@MsDaydream3r]

These two, along with Gomez & Morticia, are the best couples in fiction. 😁

[@BeGlamourlicious]

MsDaydream3r don’t get me started about Gomez & Morticia. THEY ARE SO HOT FOR EACH OTHER it’s out of this world.

[@trinaq]

Totally in agreement with this! 🙌🏾I hope that the Take analyse Gomez and Morticia's relationship soon, as while they may be unconventional and kooky, their marriage is still lauded as being one of the most loving and content throughout pop culture! 💘🥰

[@DodirAnelaIntuitivnoOtvaranje]

Except G&M are soulmates, they're complementing each other effortlessly.

[@MsDaydream3r]

@@trinaq Mighty Mayhem did a great video on them.

[@Aster_Risk]

@@MsDaydream3r I'm going to go watch that! Thank you for mentioning it.

[@18sweethang]

Lily and Marshall are the ultimate couple goals!

[@TheLeah2344]

The truth is there is no soul mate. There isn’t someone who “ completes you “. You complete yourself. Your partner simply adds to the equation. Love is an action. You choose to love someone everyday. Also I feel exactly like Lily in my own relationship. I lost myself in him and I think I need to break up with him and find myself.

[@creepermineh]

Hmm, I mean, I don't know your life and what not but if you truly feel as if you lost your identity or feel confused about yourself you should take a break but I hope this decision doesn't come from over identifying yourself with a character. If there is a way for you to have both, why not just talk it out with him/her and make your own schedule of stuff to do by yourself? If the relationship is healthy but you just feel too attached, you don't really have to throw it away. You just have to develop new interests where your couple doesn't partake in them but can discuss as it becomes something important to you. Expand your social life etc anyways, sorry for commenting without being aware of your situation etc, just giving away my thoughts since its common to have doubts here and there then having this videos may distort one's vision a bit too much. At least I know i commit the crime at times.

[@doid4354]

@@creepermineh Part of why I avoid relationships is because I'm afraid I'll lose myself in another person. I think it's hard trying to be in one when you're young because you don't even know who you are yet and trying to commit to another WHOLE person is overwhelming. It's so hard to put everything you got into someone without forgetting about yourself sometimes. I always seem to forget who I am when I'm with someone for too long so I prefer being single.... just idk.. I don't why I replied but I liked your response.

[@L16htW4rr10r]

I mean Lily do the same thing but they didn't really break up, they just separated themselves for some time. I don't know how long Lily left in the season. Maybe weeks? Months? Either way, maybe you could try that.

[@creepermineh]

@@doid4354 Hi, thank you for replying. Your emotions are totally valid and I understand. Again, I don't know your life so allow me the freedom to make some assumptions. Take what is useful and discard everything else. If you find yourself having those doubts when single, perhaps to some extent you feel that you have nothing that defines you yet. Now, from my experience and belief, I don't believe there's anything such as finding yourself nor fully creating yourself as you're limited by external circumstances in life. It's a mix of both, what you would have is a self-image (which is who you believe yourself to be, it is a self proclaim label whether you got it for yourself or by others as you grew). I think that you should define yourself by the consistencies of your actions but be aware that personality is dynamic and not static as some of us would think when we refer to "find" ourselves. See, the self image is quite limiting to your growth as a person. Take for example, shy people. We believe we are predestined to be shy and use it as an excuse to not reach out and not try to get out of our comfort zone. You're just enforcing a role on yourself when you can outgrow it. We outgrow different parts of ourselves countless times. We have huge amount of potential, you just have to embrace all that makes us whole. Even the parts of us we dislike (our shadow self, I suggest you read Carl Jung theories on it. It helped me so much to feel comfortable with aspects of myself I felt I had to decline because I or others didn't like it. The concept goes that the more you deny parts of yourself the more they'll manifest unconciously) My personal example is that I used to be quite desperate and would give my all to just one person. I saw it as bad and yeah it is, but problem is I started to confuse desperation with the healthy longing for social interaction we all humans SHOULD have. Desperation doesn't have to be bad, it's a sign of loneliness. But I kept ignoring my desperation so I avoided people and whenever I allowed one person in, they became my world. So this is how my "shadow" took over. But once I started allowing myself to feel this emotion and simple allowed myself to talk to people and expand my social circle, I noticed that whenever I had a girlfriend and such, I was much more in control and could have my time alone etc. The thing I think would help you avoid losing yourself is to have boundaries. When I was younger, I thought having them meant limiting my options and I had that quantity over quality mindset but now I realize that boundaries is actually giving myself the freedom to be myself with whoever and wherever I choose to be. Sure, some habits of us are bad and have to be compromised because a relation is basically that...compromise. With a partner you can view certain habits with a third person perspective and thats how you grow together. But boundaries are extremely important because they allow integrity (when what you say,do and think is the same). Yes, personality is far more dynamic than what we think but we need a solid foundation and that can only be done with exploring and goals. You have to accept yourself to accept what can't be change but have a growth mindset to self improve. You decide how you decide to live and you have to be willing to accept the responsability. You don't have to follow my advice or anyone's but just be attempt to be content with your decision and find peace in your choice. It's not easy and everything is abstract and relative so choose. Since you may be single, I suggest you do what I recommend to our friend above.Find hobbies, explore your interests and the sub genres in your interests. Question yourself why you resonate with this or that. I suggest a journal, sounds childish and pointless but hear me out because it will be the most important tool to self awareness. A journal helps you view your problem from a third person perspective. It gives you the chance to pick yourself and be your own friend. Treat your journal and yourself as such. You write yourself an insult? Comfort yourself. Be honest about how you feel as you write but comfort yourself afterword simultaneously. When you read yourself in the future, it will be like reading another person and it is another person because in a year from now you'll grow whether for good or bad, its relative but you grew. Write on a notebook, not on a computer because writing uses the subconcious due to hand movement (I won't explain that, lol. Just trust me that it's more effective.) Keep note of what you read and watch, what you feel and experiences. Record them at the end of the day or as soon as you feel them. However you wish. Your mind will be clearer. Just analyze the why, you don't need a concrete answer but just theories and observe likes.Sorry for writing so much, but I just thought I'd be detailed so I'll give you two example of how I used my diary. I had depression, like very intense when young. I felt unloved and was condition by movies just like any of us on the ideal form of expressing love. "They know what I feel and think without me having to discuss it" dumb stuff like that. So i questioned myself, am I capable of doing that myself? Do I express love the same way as the people on movies, why do I desire it from people in my life? What if I don't like being hugged so much, etc. In my look for answers I discovered we all have different love languages. The special people loved me, incredibly so but in their own way that I couldn't discern. My father doesn't say "I love you much" but he is always willing to lend me money or would buy me candy when he came back from work. Then I realize, we all express love differently, when I could tune in to how someone showed love. I felt loved. When I was younger, I disliked reggaeton (I'm hispanic, reggaeton is a music genre that is like trap but often more perverse in spanish). I thought it was too sexual and being young I thought, I'm a nice guy, i'm different, I don't have heavy sexual desire for women etc. Basically kinda like your nice guy on reddit minus the threats. I just thought I was special. Recently I decided to expand my music tastes and I liked it. I wondered why and the answer I came to was that before I repressed my sexuality with a facade to impress some chick but there's nothing wrong with sexual desire. The more you hide it, the most likely you'll develop some kinks and will be more aggressive (or passive aggresive) in your pursuit of pleasure . Accepting that I have sexual desires allowed me to enjoy the music and just feel more comfortable with my partner. If you read all this, thank you and hope I helped you in some way in your journey to find yourself. I'm no sage and I'm learning myself but I hope my example helps a bit. You don't need a partner to commence a realization that you may lack a life or drive..

[@creepermineh]

@@doid4354 Sorry, youtube doesn't allow me to divide my paragraphs. Idk why so the text looks overwhelming. Sorry. Read it if you want. Otherwise just let it float. Wish I could have made it look less frightening

[@lucypreece7581]

what about examples of a best friend soul mate. like i am the most single person ever but my best friend Becky is just like my soul mate. our vibes are the same and she is just amazing and my life would be worse without her. she is my sister, my best friend, my rock and i love her to bits. but we know that even though i'm gay and she's bi we know there will never ever be anything romantic with each other. We just know that through our life moments like when we get married and stuff in the future we will be there by each others side. Our souls and spirits are connected. I would love to see more examples of best friend soul mates in media because meeting someone and getting married and having kids and stuff that's not always what matters. Having that one friend who you know will always be there for you and you celebrate their happiness and pick them up when they are sad and also tell you to get a grip when you are being a drama queen which Becky has done with me a lot is something irreplaceable. Becky is irreplaceable to me. She is and forever will be my soulmate and i will be hers. My best friend in the whole world and i love her so much.

[@heartpng]

You should check out the movie Frances Ha! Its a great coming of age in adulthood story that perfectly encapsulates having a best friend be your "person".

[@Design____ByS]

That's so sweet.

[@aathenaiz6151]

this comment made me feel lonelier that i was before

[@neigeepierrot4694]

So true it's a shame people do not talk about these kind of relationships enough glad you have this though

[@lucypreece7581]

@@neigeepierrot4694 thanks. We all deserve it in life.

[@andreagordon1664]

I am one of the many people who dislikes Lily, but I think there is a reason for this. The story is told from Ted's perspective and Ted never seemed to be a huge fan of Lily, but he chose to be her friend because of his friendship with Marshall. They fight A LOT throughout the series and their friendship is more so that of brother and sister-in-law. I think Lily was probably not that bad, and Marshall was probably not as great as Ted presented him to be. The imbalance between Lily and Marshall can just simply be a reflection of Ted's personal view of Lily and Marshall.

[@andreagordon1664]

@Marie ᶘ oᴥoᶅ that is a good point. I think that Lily is just kind of selfish and her treatment of her friends is very manipulative (i.e. breaking up Ted's relationships). She refused to admit when she did anything wrong, she never even admitted that Aldrin justice was juvenile and ridiculous. Yes, she had a rough childhood, but you cant blame your rough childhood for the rest of your life. Marshall didnt want to wash the dishes immediately, but he would do them later. There are scenes of him vacuuming and helping out around the house. He also worked A LOT in order to pay off Lily's debt, so his long hours meant that Lily would take on more housework. Lily didnt deserve hatred, but I think people felt that she needed to be taken down a notch. Again, we probably get this feeling because Ted probably felt that wya

[@haleyadamic]

@@andreagordon1664 totally agree... I personally don't like when people demand they wash their dishes immediately. Marshalls response was dumb. He should have just said could I do it later (especially since doing multiple dishes at once is easier) and he did work really long hours so while I'm not saying since he's the man and she's the woman, it's just simple that he works much more hours than her and it'd be nicer if she lightened up about that and helped out.

[@andreagordon1664]

@@haleyadamic they ended the fight pretty quickly. To be fair, fighting about dishes is not always about the dishes.... it can be spent up aggression over other things. Ultimately, though, you're right. Lily's issue was that she couldnt admit that she was wrong, and was often unreasonable.... they just needed to talk about it, but Marshall apparently didnt know how to talk to his wife??

[@fredahkanampiu232]

I know Lily had flaws but i couldn't help but love her.she was my second favourite character after Marshall

[@nodmyhead6198]

Honestly, the thing that wasn't ok about Lily to me was that she manipulated Ted's relationships in order to fit her "front porch view" and that was something that DIRECTLY affected Ted. It is not ok to manipulate people like that in order to fullfill your fantasies. But atleast she learns and stops doing it.

[@mimir1885]

I had one, he was my knight in shining armor, met when I was 13, couldn't date cause I was to young and we lost touched. But then seriously dated when I was 17 after finding out my new best friends from high school was his step sister 💙 after 2 years of dating seriously we had our daughter who is 8 today 6/2020... I'm 27 now, I lost him last year to brain cancer 💔 Alexander Velez u will always have my heart . U were my best friend, MY soulmate. My Marshall 💙 we miss u

[@soda8624]

You are so strong, you'll meet him again, I'm proud of you and I'm sure you're an amazing mother and the best wife he could ever had dream of ❤️ My best wishes for you

[@Mellymel31689]

They are the best couple and they remind me of me and my husband. We met at 18 and 19. I was "goth" back then, and we were together for 9 years before getting married. We never broke up but I moved 3 hours away after being together for 6 months because I couldn't afford my apartment and have to live with my mom for a few months so we were long distance. But we made it through and today is our 3 years married and 12 years all together anniversary

[@Aster_Risk]

That's awesome! Congratulations!

[@bwolff7364]

Thank you so much for this, I think I subconsciously had a lot of anxiety about whether or not I could find a soul mate, not realizing that there's also the possibility of growing a relationship instead. That gave me a lot of peace of mind

[@KittySnicker]

I love them! I was tired of the “will they won’t they” bullshit. Make up your damn mind!

[@tamarleahh.2150]

Especially when they sleep with each other for months and still don't know if they are "serious "

[@jojo-he5gj]

I’m a hopeless romantic and love the idea of soulmates but I loved what Monica says to Chandler in Friends. They both of them didn’t believe in soulmates, and that even though they aren’t, they both work really hard at their relationship and love one another and that’s what’s important. Someone having similar dreams, interests, and hobbies doesn’t mean they are your soul mate.

[@CycleOfTruth]

This channel has some of the most intelligent film and tv analyses I have come across, I am definitely a sub for life and try to share your content with anyone intelligent enough to appreciate it!!!! Thank you

[@slevinchannel7589]

Seen the Video about Ted? ?

[@toyang..]

marshall is my favorite character from the show!!!

[@trinaq]

Mine too, he's easily my favourite character, next to Barney, and I never really got irritated by Marshall or his actions at any point during the show! 💛

[@BlackCampariBlue]

@@trinaq there was one instant where he irritated me. That was when Robin fell for the naked man and Marshall slut-shamed her. But it really felt out of character for him, so I just view it as the writers shortly "kinda forgetting" about how Marshall truely is. Best character imo!

[@toyang..]

Trina Q yes i agree! and barney is my 2nd too :) then lily, robin and ted in order. haha

[@toyang..]

Lost in Translation ohh yes he was a bit off there! :/

[@bubblegumbitch2191]

Shalalala

[@SirEriol]

I like how Ted sucks so much that it is mentioned in every HIMYM video so far. Robin.- Ted sucks. Ted sucks.- Ted reaaally sucks. Robin and Barney.- Ted sucks so much he ruined a power couple just by existing near them. Barney.- Ted represents the vulnerability that Barney is afraid of, but he only convinces Barney to be less open because Ted sucks so freakin' much. Lily and Marshal.- Even while living in the same apartment as a great example for couples, Ted fixates on the parts he already idolizes and refuses to learn from what he sees because he sucks. So. Much. Friends video mentioning how much Ross sucks.- Ted sucks SO FREAKIN' MUCH HE EVEN SHOWS UP HERE, OH MY GOD.

[@L16htW4rr10r]

Approve. I can't believe I like him at first.

[@hegluj6796]

Heliopath it’s pretty much because of the ending, if the series didn’t reward him for being obsessed with a girl for over 29 years none of this would’ve happened

[@kefkiroth42]

I love the hate boner this channel seems to have for Ted lol

[@beatrizgomes4094]

Yes! I actually like Ted (even though he is far, FAR from perfect), but I loved the way The Take totally dragged him over their last videos lol He was just too stuck in a fantasy for his own good, he could've found his so wanted happiness sooner (with maybe, like, Victoria, because everytime they fell apart had nothing to do with their own relationship, but with Robin)

[@darkdream1469]

Bruh 😂😂

[@melenatorr]

Thank you for this: it was a lovely look at the two different philosophies tackled during the course of this show. I do wish there had been a little more focus on Marshall and Lily themselves - they come into play here as an alternative to the Ted view and the Barney view, but I kind of miss a deeper discussion on how their specific character traits and personalities create harmony, conflict, and resolution between them.

[@avanikarir1942]

If I don't have a relationship like this I don't want it

[@cherusiderea1330]

Actually, the Platonic theory speaks of three types of double-humans: double-men, double-women and a double-human consisting of a woman and a man. You can see it in the Hedwig and the angry inch song "The Origin of Love" -- or read the Symposion yourself, the speeches are (for the most part) really worth it. :D

[@BlackCampariBlue]

thank you for pointing that out :)

[@sinnsage]

instantly recognized the origin of love story from Hedwig!

[@akuroatomostointernet3577]

the og pansexual

[@sinnsage]

@@akuroatomostointernet3577 legit!

[@c.j.p.7607]

Very interesting!

[@Miss1Vogue]

The best relationship/marriage portrayed ever. They have real conflicts during the show - different family backgrounds, dreams, money, identity, kids, maintaining friends when you are a parent and married and also the hardship of being a couple when you are a parent. When Lilly have massive debt Marshal don't break with her or when Marshall drops everything do have a low pay job Lilly don't leave him. If was on another TV show they would break up. Also I always loved how they grow up so much, the first season they were always together and very romantic in a childish away (pooping together trough phone) and the last seasons they show how they broke they romantic vows, and both make realistic vows. Last seasons they are more independent people even thought they are married, but still love each other.

[@cynthiaquezada6982]

I once got high with my boyfriend and for some reason, when I looked at him, I considered him like my brother. Not in an incestual way, I'm not attracted to my brother. But rather, the close bond and friendship I have with my brother, I saw in my boyfriend. He was "family" in my eyes at that moment. I mentioned that to him and he said, "you see me as kin". I think in a relationship you need to see them as family. Very much how you are with your family, you'll be that way with them. We are sometimes weird and gross with each other. And I think it's honestly the best. That level of comfort is something I never knew or understood until now. We have also been through some rough patches, but we persevere and we work through it. He has his strengths and I have mine. I think being with a soul mate is alot of fucking work. But it's a work I enjoy doing. You want the best for that person. And that person also wants the best for you.

[@greenduckie420]

This is twice I have been in the middle of one Take video and switched to the new one as soon as that notification comes lol Love Marshall and Lilly so much!

[@edabakb]

Marshall is such GOALS as a husband 🙏🏻

[@edabakb]

@@Chris-rg6nm true...true.

[@Aster_Risk]

@@Chris-rg6nm Chris, did someone dump you for a tall lawyer?

[@rialyandriamiseza9814]

I swear that moment at the airport where Marshall hires an orchestra is one of the best moment of the show. This was sincere and comitted love.

[@crystalfairy912]

Marshall and Lily are one of the reasons I want more stories about couples and what they go through. The will they won’t they stories, the search for the one and ending when they get together, that’s all so exhausting now. I want to see what happens to the couple going through things together and how they handle things as a duo. Canon long term relationships have plenty of conflicts beyond that of the single person looking for the one.

[@weronikalinda4917]

Yeah, but on the other hand, when you put all your faith in your own choice and agency, you can start thinking that you're able to turn anybody into your soulmate, no matter how bad and toxic they are for you or no matter what the other person wants. I firmly believe in mending rather than throwing away, but sometimes if you're unhappy in your relationship, it doesn't mean you didn't work hard enough - it might mean that this person just isn't right for you. So really, it's about the combination of compatibility and choice.

[@daisyd7647]

I was never a girl that watches romance movies and adoring the finding one true love. But when i was watching Himym, i was impressed by how Marshall and Lily's relationship was deep and realistic, i always said i want this one day. Then one day i found him, just like them, in first year of college, and we are together for 8 years. I %100 agree with "They are not found, they are made". I felt it will be different with him, but we actually became soulmate on the road.

[@PinkyPumpkin14]

This is so true. I'm engaged and our relationship is 4 years strong and I've struggled a lot with these two concepts. When you're in a long-term relationship you grow so much and learn so much from the other person and tbh like Lily said I think that's the best part. People seem so caught up in finding someone and the honeymoon phase that they forget what a long lasting realtionship is really about. If you want to stay together you have to make it work, you have to compromise and work on yourself and yes that's not always easy but it is so worth it. HIMYM really shows what a realistic couple has to go through in the long term and i really love the show for that.

[@clementine5053]

Thank you for highlighting and bringing this up. The internet and pop culture ever so fails at providing good healthy ideas of relationships, aside from a few exceptions. Providing and highlighting this great example of a couple is really helpful and healthy

[@jadegreen1520]

Marshall and Lily along with Chandler and Monica are probably my favorite sitcom couples ever and what makes them even better is that their relationships were built on the same ideals: that soulmates are made, not found and I just completely love it. While HIMYM may have gone offtrack towards the end and ruined the other couples, I just love how they nailed Marshall and Lily's relationship. Simply perfect.

[@johnnyroberts3761]

I never considered them a couple. They’re a great pair of friends, but nothing more than that.

[@mikeymorrison272]

I don't know if I believe in soulmates. The idea that someone out there just completes us I don't believe. I believe you meet someone you just connect with at a deep level. You love each other and want to spend time with them. But also help each other grow. That may sound clitche but I believe that more.

[@Thefinalgrrrl]

Lily and Marshall remind me so much of my own roommate and her boyfriend. I feel like Ted sometimes, in a sense that I keep hoping to find what they have. Witnessing a couple like Lilypad and Marshmallow from front row in real life has made me see soul mates are definitely built and chosen every day and will work through whatever life throws at them as a team. It's beautiful. 🖤

[@cherylhulting1301]

Well said. This is what Lily and Marshall have.

[@Alxxjb]

Could you take a look at the judd apatow Netflix series “Love”? I think that’s another show that handles relationships in a realistic way.

[@Aster_Risk]

Yes! I would love this.

[@glorialoreto]

100% agreed

[@moonshoestarkid]

love this!!!

[@Mr-Rinn]

I’m yytyyy hey jury yes

[@jgeybp]

The unexpected obsession of these KZbinrs towards HIMYM is surprising, yet we don’t care because we love this so much. It’s like travelling to memory lane. Thanks. ❤️

[@GeazakiCosplay]

8:54 You missed a chance to say "They haven't been together forever because they're perfect for each other. They're perfect for each other because they've been together forever" And I'm sad

[@nadjaannabel1]

True love is two people making it work. Over and over again.

[@user-um7xs7ih8f]

To be honest, it feels like Marshall is the only sane and wholesome human being in the group, the others I wouldn't even consider them as human beings.

[@tamarleahh.2150]

What about Lily and Robin?

[@aldoushuxley5953]

@@tamarleahh.2150 Lily is extremely manipulative

[@eman5369]

@Marie ᶘ oᴥoᶅ sure but as a friend she was manipulative, breaking up Ted's relationships for one , and also aldrin justice is quite problematic. But for the most part she's okay- ish.

[@AD240pCharlie]

@@eman5369 Everyone on the show - with the exception of Marshall as people have pointed out - are extremely toxic in different ways. Lily just gets away with it for some reason. Fans hate on the other ones being terrible people, but never Lily.

[@galawangmaniac9159]

They're all imperfect thats what makes them human being

[@vc1278]

This video is so underrated change my life

[@4evawoohoo]

Marshall and Lily have the perfect relationship in my eyes. Yes they have their ups and downs and can even be a bit co-dependent but they are true soulmates. My favourite Lily and Marshall moment is when he meets her at the airport with the marching band or when they snuck out to a hotel before their wedding because they didn't want to be apart.

[@aurellelb2503]

A seer predicted very precisely that my soulmate and me would meet, which actually helped the meeting BUT THEN we had to build the actual relationship and understand each other 'cause we weren't "perfect matches" and didn't fall in love, we were just two people getting closer to each other and discovering things about ourselves.

[@kahkah1986]

I have to say the lingering problem I have with Marshall and Lily is the way their careers are handled. Marshall ends up being a hugely famous and influential lawyer, but I don't know if Lily ends up as an artist, I feel like it was glossed over in the end. True, Marshall does support Lily in her goals, but Lily also supports Marshall; it is the show/ Ted the narrator who isn't even handed about this. On some level, Lily's feelings are portrayed as flake outs, whereas Marshall's are depicted as principles. He fights climate change for us all, Lily just needs to learn to let go of her childish dreams for artisticfulfilment etc... Lily's concerns are justified though, even if they get played for laughs. Eventually, they are pushed into a very traditional set up. In the end, Lily fails so that Marshall can succeed, you see her in the future in a Barbara Bush suit and helmet hair, not at all what she wanted. That's a huge compromise for Lily, but it is taken for granted as justice for Marshall's patience and understanding. At the same time, Robyn has to justify not wanting children etc constantly, partly because of the title of the show, but partly because Ted is so uncompromising that this is what people *should * want. It is regressive; as the narrative voice of the show, Ted misses that Marshall and Lily are at their most interesting when they are flexible and bold enough to meet each others' needs. It is presumably why Lily still looks happy despite being disappointed as an artist; she feels Marshall would still fight her corner as much as he would fight his own. But we don't really see that, we see a very traditional statesman figure with the traditional *supportive wife* TM on his arm. There was no sense of a plot twist for Lily like there was for Robyn; she doesn't escape the confines of traditional gender roles; she is the argument for them. Even Barney only really changes *when he meets the mother of his child*, as in when he embraces traditional domesticity. Robyn, who is actually infertile and can't do that, gets the consolation prize of stepchildren, but it is as if she is being punished for being too independent, too different, too certain.

[@cherylhulting1301]

Thank you. This is exactly my problem with the handling of the two female characters in the last few seasons of the show. You're one of the few people articulating it. Their desires for personhood outside of their relationships are never well developed or acknowledged.

[@johnnyroberts3761]

Marshall & Lily is still the one TV relationship I’ll never fully understand. These two never gave me the impression they belonged as a couple, they were only two people who were closer to each other in friendship.

[@queenofsiam1183]

I love my man so much. He is the other half of my soul and I’m reminded of that fact all the time and I am so thankful about that. I’m happy for all those who feel the same way about their significant other

[@MelchVagquest]

Tom Cruise: "You complete-" Interrupted by advertisement

[@Blorb-v3y]

Your videos are amazing! I got married a couple months ago and I just wanted to say that your point about the importance of being a couple while still remaining individuals is something my premarital counseling emphasized haha!

[@darkecofreak23]

I love Alyson Hannigan. She’s brilliant.

[@Siures]

I am quite proud that our friends compare me and my husband to them - we are a couple since school, 12 and a half year, married for six years, have two children. And are still unusual. We were never crazy in love. We just gave it a try, that’s the only difference and it was the best decision ever.

[@Whatsinaname_]

Please, do a video on the white savior trope. Thank you.

[@mysteriiis]

I think they did.

[@soda8624]

Marshall reciting Corinthians made my heart melt 🥺

[@camillethuillier5948]

Ted is an amazing guy. He’s the guy that goes through so much crap and can’t seem to find, as he says “The One”. He went through so much tough crap which changed him and shaped him into the perfect man he for Tracy. Marshal and Lily changed and got shaped together by all the things that happened to them together. Both Marshal and Ted are genuine, nice, good guys. And both deserve their wives Lily and Tracy.

[@slevinchannel7589]

Thats literally wrong. Ted literally made you believe that. I recommend another Episode of 'The Take' about Ted.

[@icohen1627]

@@slevinchannel7589 That video is biased and crap

[@FinntheAutumn]

here’s what i think: there’s a line from a song i love by one of my favorite artists: “half a heart is aching to grow; soul mates aren’t just lovers, ya know” i believe soul mates can be friends and soul mates can be lovers. with friendship only, i believe soulmates ARE found, and that there are many of them we can and will find. With romantic. soulmates, I also believe we might find more than one person who is capable of being our soul mate. But the one who we (should) end up with at the end of it all, is a soul mate that you and that other person made together through time, bonding, challenges, compromise, selflessness, learning, changing together, friendship, dedication, etc. things that take TIME.

[@RogueTwo]

One of the things that I always loved about HIMYM was that it went against the overused movie and TV trope that "opposites attract." Marshall and Lily weren't a couple with nothing in common but physical attraction, who could barely tolerate each others likes and dislikes and fought constantly. They actually appreciated and loved each other's differences and idiosyncrasies. They certainly had their ups and downs, but they were always willing to work at, but tried to avoid either one having to give up too much of themselves for the other. By comparison, Ted had a mold that he wanted his soulmate to fit into. Literally giving the viewers a list of superficial criteria for his perfect woman right in the pilot.

[@WHITEPERSUAS1ON]

Was your voice cracking at 9:00 🥺 thats so sweet. I love it

[@gayanehhh]

The Take:He fails to grasp his best friend's- Barney:I'M HIS BEST FRIEND!

[@c.j.p.7607]

What a brilliant analysis! This is so on point and reveals the depth about the couple and the show itself. Lily and Marshall are exemplary and at the very heart of HIMYM. In fact, I heard somewhere that they are based off of one of the creators of the show and his wife. So sweet! 💖

[@alepolait8951]

The thing is, Lily has more in common with Barney that any other character; Virtually abandoned by their father, Lily just like Barney, learned to be tough and bad to get ahead. The flashbacks are kinda funny, but we know she was trouble when she was younger, they both are very crass and direct and take no shit. But the difference is, Lily is actively trying to be better, specially when it comes to Marshall. I like that part of them, Marshall was a very virtuous character, almost too good to be truth. If Lily were the same, they would've been the most boring couple ever. She fucks up a lot but also grows a lot. I think Marshall values that. And they complement each other, Marsahll can be a pushover at times, so Lily has his back. Towards the end there was less extreme Lily and it's obvious she's supporting his very succesful career. So i get why people may have some issues with her, but not every person is virtuous from the get go. Marshall was a believer and i think in the end it was worth it.

[@mysteriiis]

Lily is the perfected version of both Barney and Robin. Sexually adventurous and less than 'girly; but not poisoned by the toxic masculinity that deformed both her friends.

[@CGZ26]

Marshall is the best person in that show (also the mother, but we only enjoyed her for one season) He's a good friend, he's a good bf/husband, he's a good son, he's a good employee, he's a good lawyer/judge, he's a good dad. I don't really enjoy Lily a lot because of SF and Italy, but they're definetely a nice couple.

[@cherylhulting1301]

Factor in that Lily came from a much less stable home life than Marshall. (Marshall in some ways cracks me up because he's supposed to be from Minnesota and in some ways he's the cliche of men here.) But you're punishing Lily for having gotten involved and married when she was very young, and before she had a chance to explore her career dreams on her own. Marshall was also heading into a successful life as a judge and as the show ended I wondered how she was going to fit into that world. Remember too that the show is narrated from Ted's point of view. Ted thinks that being married and having kids is the ultimate key to happiness. He doesn't show a lot of insight into women who need to have more than this in order to live fulfilling lives.

[@alexfragac]

I'm loving the wave of HIMYM videos lately

[@rosemali3022]

It's so rare to see a functioning relationship on TV, and for people who come from a problematic family life that is debilitating. We learn a surprising amount from our entertainment media. It sucks they only seem interested in played out abusive stories. Side note, in the comedy show Chuck a loving romantic relationship and a loving sibling and friend relationship are crucial. His sister is such a role model when it comes to how to be s part of other peoples lives. Take care all!

[@lady_stog]

I have found my Marshall 😍

[@roy.shrestha]

I am so happy for you

[@bossgandy]

Congrats!!

[@skylight_gameuse]

congrats, you're lucky!

[@driveasandwich6734]

The thing is, while Ted's ideal of love doesn't match what Marshall and Lilly are, it matches what they believe they are. Notice how they view the story of how they met as this magical tale of Lilly instincts leading her to Marshall's door, instead of Lilly finding him attractive and their relationship evolving through their persistence.

[@wheatart4274]

I struggle because I really want to focus on love as growth (soulmates are made), but there's ALWAYS that part in the back of my head worried that I'll miss the one.

[@monabohamad2242]

How are soul mates "made"? like do people need to do something like get Married or something in order to automatically become soul mates that seems like a pretty Dumb Falacy😂😅

[@cherylhulting1301]

If you let go of the idea of "the one," you actually feel much less stressed. The world of possibilities opens up to you. Then it's more about finding someone who can click with you, shares some of your meaningful interests, shares key values and goals and knows about respect, communication and boundaries.

[@BrahmaDBA]

When I was a freshman in college I compared my relationship with my ex with Ted and Tracy, that even though both of us had been through many relationships before we found each other in the end. She was unhappy with the comparison, saying that it isn't what real relationships are because you dont just found the right one for you right at the end, she wanted me to say Lily and Marshall because thats what real couples are. I was too immature to understand what she meant. After re watching HIMYM for the umpteenth time I finally understood that what she said was true. Now I am with another person and I understood that it takes years of loving one another to believe that the other person is the one for you.

[@nyan_wolf1233]

Yes finally

[@bigscott175]

Watching this makes me realize how awesome and how philosophical HIMYM is? And you guys definitely know how to write an Video Essay

[@Punmaster9001]

Lily and Marshall are great examples of 2 people that just click and for the most part, get each other. In some ways, they're lucky they found love right away, and in others not so much. Like Lily having to run off to San Francisco in order to fulfill a lifelong ambition of hers, despite the outcome, because it didn't fit into a timeline that either Marshall or the showrunners felt needed to be enforced. If I've learned anything from this show's overall messaging, the creators felt it necessary to punish anyone who did not want marriage as their ultimate goal and to punish any actions that didn't serve to meet that goal. I'll once again point to Lily needing to run off for her own sake when Marshall selfishly gave her no other choice. Anytime Ted strayed from the messaging, he was punished, and of course, Robin and Barney were punished similarly.

[@mariedit9935]

This is so true! It made the show cheesy

[@cherylhulting1301]

Agreed. They set Robin up to be the friendless spinster at the end whom Ted had to "rescue" through a relationship. Even though Robin had told him she didn't want the to have a romantic relationship with him.

[@crimsonblack9774]

Aww when she said we'll make it work after he confesses he likes 🫒 that's so adorable 😍☺💕

[@jenandjuice_]

I love Marshall! 💕🤍

[@AAltair619]

You into his calves like lilly too? 😁

[@trinaq]

Me too, I always love any character played by Jason Segel, and Marshall is my absolute favourite! ♥️💞

[@jenandjuice_]

dsb how’d you know my secret