Autism-friendly jobs

[@JephPlaysGames]

I've found that every single job I have ever worked, I've ended up burning out and leaving. Worked retail, burnt out. Got a science degree and became a teacher, then burnt out. Went back to retail, burnt out. Got a science master's degree and went into the field, burnt out. Became a tutor for recovering addicts in an IOP setting and did awesome until a change in leadership and then I quickly burnt out. Worked for my parents' company, burnt out. Now, I have been self employed as a pet sitter for almost 2 years. With how much I am doing to make a living from it, I am pretty exhausted, and I make less money than most people my age. I haven't burnt out though. I have complete control over my schedule, I don't have to go to last minute pointless meetings, I can choose not to work with bad customers, I am not judged by company-generated metrics, I don't have to deal with other people's sounds or bull crap, etc. I'm exhausted, but I am exhausted on my own terms.

[@lifeenjoyerluke3360]

Good for you, I think that entrepreneurship is the way forward for a lot of autistic people

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

How did you find your jobs as a pet sitter?

[@JephPlaysGames]

@@Mantras-and-Mystics I just do it through Rover. I haven't taken the leap to turning it into an actual business.

[@Discordia5]

I seriously learned so much from reading this comment.

[@joyfulgirl91]

Self employment is such an amazing discovery. Now I know I was never lazy, slow to learn, or a trouble maker. So many opportunities to fail at things that don’t matter are cut out of my days like tumors. I will not be likely to be rich but I don’t need to be because I love my life. I don’t have to spend tons of money entertaining and comforting myself to get over failing at office parlor tricks, so I am going to be perfectly fine.

[@tomohawkcloud]

I’ve come to realized that no matter what job or career I end up choosing, I’ll eventually end up masking and get burnt out not knowing what to do. I’ve accepted the fact this world wasn’t built for me, and now I have no clue where my life is headed and now I just feel stuck.

[@zucchini3857]

I feel absolutely the same. I know the world is cruel but i wished i didnt havr to feel this way

[@Heyu7her3]

There are more options for work and terms of employment than ever before. One way that could work for you is to do contract/ consulting work that fits to your cyclical nature.

[@danowo1048]

felt

[@titanqueen7217]

That was me until I started freelancing. I’m a beta reader, and it’s great because I love books, and now I read them for a living lol

[@lbfree714]

​@@titanqueen7217 send me the link to their careers page friend.

[@sylvia9290]

I'm a toy designer and this is THE job!! I get to keep to myself and draw all day.

[@austincde]

Where? How? Can I come? ( joking)

[@purplehood8418]

@@austincde I would also like to come!

[@YuukiuuYik]

How do you become one?

[@sylvia9290]

@@YuukiuuYik Get good at illustration/ design/ CAD or 3D modeling either through a degree or practice and curate your portfolio to the toy industry

[@derpherp1810]

(starts singing life could be a dream)

[@MaryArts]

I am currently applying to jobs. In the last years I have written 300+ job applications. And most reasons I get rejected is lack of confidence and not enough experience. I hate selling myself. With depression and PTSD I just want to yell: "Am I not worthy of even minimum wage???" I hate selling myself and everyone around me says: "Just act confident." As if it is the easiest thing to do when you are not!!!

[@RateOfChange]

I feel you. I'm a super skilled mathematician, programmer, musician and polyglot, but guess what? I can't find a job. I just can't sell myself. I try my best but all I get is silence. And btw, I'm not overrating myself. Everyone around me (college classmates, friends, family etc) keep calling me "genius", "smartest dude around" and so on. This is so unfair, I really feel like I'm a huge waste of resources. What's the point of being a so-called "genius" when I can't even get a call center job?

[@animekittykitty]

Ugh, this and the cyclical burnout cycle are so relatable. I'm trying to get out of my abusive job. (I loved it when I first joined and connected with most of the original coworkers, but now there's some newer people hired by the corporate managers who can't be bothered to check in on us more than once a quarter.) With how automated everything is and how impersonal so many of these application processes are, it gets really depressing thinking, "What even makes me valuable, let alone valuable enough to *deserve* a living wage? 😢" Then again, I also know part of my issue is my cPTSD, possible autism (my doctor says that with autism being a spectrum "that technically everyone has it, so there's no point testing you"), and turning 15-16 back when the housing market crashed and being told by several employers back then that they probably wouldn't even bother considering hiring me when I finally was old enough to work.... 😮‍💨 It feels like trying to find meaning in work gets harder every year.

[@BlackbeltHitoshi]

You don't need to be confident, just look confident, try to be like the actually confident people and it'll be pretty easy, also the not enough experience thing isn't that bad because maybe they're right.

[@haruhiindeed4756]

I have heard it somewhere they said this world is written/formatted for extroverts to succeed🤷🏻‍♀️

[@goowoo69420]

@@animekittykitty Gosh I hate doctors like that.. if you could maybe find one specializing in autism who has good reviews. Of course though, you don't need a diagnosis to validate yourself, as long as you've done the research and everything and it brings you a sense of closure.

[@absentmindedgenesequencing7020]

It’s not because we’re bad at working. It’s because we’re autistic. To be offered a job, I had to wait until I accepted the offer to disclose my needs. The worst part, anyone I tell about it, tells me there is no way that happened because they think people are treated equally…

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

thats because our stims look "bad" to neurotypical people so we get regarded as weird people when our stims actually help us calm down and focus more

[@kathryngreaves432]

Totally I never disclose my autism and my last job I applied for I told them about my ankylosing spondylitis and they chose someone with less expensive, less qualifications and to be quite honest a really miserable person. It was a lunch lady job at my kids school I was honest because I thought my qualifications would be enough and my honesty would show I'm a good candidate. I have nvqs in child care and care, psychology, counselling, have attended many extra courses in my own time just because Im passionate and have my own children. They chose someone who had no professional experience with kids just her own two. That hurt it was a punch in the gut. I'll never disclose anything negative about my health or autism again.

[@kenderareawesome]

For me I have to find that balance between not being found out your autistic before the probation period so they decide I'm not fit for the job and telling them I'm autistic before they build up enough resentment to me for my masking and nonconformity that they start hating me.

[@effexon]

absurd part is there are lot of jobs like that but i guess humans and even corporations favor people over work getting done. ie smalltalk and being similar person despite lot of talk still outweighs when people can decide. extroverts are not any different, they usually have skills to manipulate corporation culture so they even save more energy to spend at free time, friends, kids , relatives etc, when your description is opposite. Sadly any tips and hints are useless until you really are in true negotiation phase, ie they give contract for work.

[@effexon]

@@kathryngreaves432 thats very very common, not related to autism necessarily. sadly work entrance nowadays works like that, no punishment for lies, they can choose whoever they like and truthfully like in highschool, actually competent people frighten other people(or they want to take young people to belittle and control them). it may simply come down to be lucky to find workplace where they think same way ambitious to do things as best as possible and get best people onboard. not all workplaces are like that. then some businesses are very sensitive eg sales that cannot spout truths of business or speak badly of any things so masking is risk in those places.... customer may turn off offer and that is loss regardless of reasons. lot of jobs arent that sensitive though, it comes down to work colleagues and like mentioned in video, sustaining that performance level longterm, not just 2-6months in the beginning(this is what I constantly struggle, not knowing how to do tasks well but how to keep energy high enough longterm).

[@magicpigeon_]

I’m an autistic teenager and my job is walking dogs! I get to go to people’s houses when they’re not home and take their dog. It’s super fun and really rewarding for me!

[@emiliaa8132]

Lol the way u described it

[@GeminiPlatypus]

TAKE. THEIR. DOGGGGG!!!! Best job ever

[@squidsona8509]

Having any job relating to dogs must be bliss

[@netterz3411]

Does it pay well ? I've been thinking about maybe doing this

[@magicpigeon_]

@@netterz3411 Depends if you’re working with a company or app or if you are just working with the owners of the dogs. It’s definitely not the best paying job, but I think if you work with an app or company you’ll get a decent amount.

[@whimsiclo]

as an autistic teenager fresh out of high school and with virtually no work experience, it's frustrating having to job search and finding basically nothing that suits your special interests and/or personal needs. i really just want to do something that allows me to be in control and independent from others and their expectations of me. it's hard and i feel stuck

[@zoriamm5064]

Yeah I’m a college student and I feel you on that

[@JamieP43]

might be worth thinking about starting your own business

[@whimsiclo]

@@JamieP43 for sure i’ve thought about it

[@somerandomguy2073]

The vast majority of autistic people are far more suited to freelance/self-employed work than just getting a job. Worth considering. It's bloody difficult to get to a place of financial independence, but it's totally worth it once you finally get there.

[@sickcat-nu4ci]

If you have a skill or one you want to learn, like, I just took up crochet, you could possibly monetize it!

[@aprilmeowmeow]

I feel so alone as an autistic woman tbh. Most of the representation is for children, or men. Thank you for your videos, they remind me that I'm not really an alien, and there are others like me all over the world :)

[@psy-fi64]

the feeling when you look up anything about autism and every result is talking about "your child"

[@misspat7555]

Because autistic girls are generally more able to speak, those AFAB are a lot more likely to be overlooked and go undiagnosed. I would imagine there are just as many of us as there are autistic individuals AMAB! ❤️

[@Kay-qz8ss]

as a women also on the spectrum people always think i have an attitude, but when they start to know me they then call me bubbly(often to an annoying extent)

[@ml9867]

Olivia Hops has a KZbin channel about her autism as well.

[@CanadasEleanor]

Here, here!

[@MariaLuisa-qm2kn]

Honestly, being neurodivergent in a capitalist world where producing is the main goal is SO exhausting. Everything is BORING and not even a lil bit stimulating. There are only a few jobs that i would feel basic joy in doing it, but i dont seem to be right for them for not being neurotypical and very social. Therefore, there are no jobs for me. I hate it. And I also wish work would be what it was 70 years ago, only an income activity. I dont want to fucking pretend I like sitting in a chair for 8 hours straight doing absolute nonsense in this life. I just need money to live and to do what I want.

[@wiegraf9009]

I have one of the few jobs that mostly fit me but it's ending next year and I'm not very optimistic I'll ever find another.

[@ValleyRose21]

I resonate with this so much. I majored in marketing and worked for online tech companies remote the last few years and putting so much money in the pockets of millionaires that don’t care about us WAS exhausting! I quit this year and decided to take a break. I’m looking into genuinely helping people in times of possible crisis/guidance: Flight attendant, EMT/paramedic (which don’t require degrees) and would consider childcare/senior care later in life. I just CANNOT give any more hours of my life selling something that no one will care about 5 years from now or goods such as clothing that will out live myself in landfill. We should normalize changing jobs every few years tbh! My mistake was going after something I was simply “good” at, which is much different than going after what brings you actual joy. Which for me is to help others and be less wasteful.

[@frog6054]

​@@wiegraf9009 Unrelated but I love final fantasy tactics

[@wiegraf9009]

@@frog6054 heheh nice!

[@Androgynary]

⁠​⁠@@ValleyRose21holy shit, are you me? I legit quit doing marketing/advertising several years ago & one of the reasons was bc I could no longer continue convincing people to buy unnecessary things they probably didn’t need.

[@liamodonovan6610]

Sadly this world is definitely not made autistic people love you're channel

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

your comment was just below my screen....but it crossed the eithers anyways.

[@Pyromaniac77777]

This world wasn’t made for anyone but it produced us all. Neurotypicals and neurodivergents are both valuable and necessary and neither is superior to the other, it’s just that neurotypicals haven’t figured that out yet

[@liamodonovan6610]

@@Pyromaniac77777 this world is made more for neurotypicals than neurodivergents ne

[@krillyourself420]

@@Pyromaniac77777 true

[@Pyromaniac77777]

@@liamodonovan6610 it’s not made for anyone. It’s just here, and the people of past generations who contributed to the way it is now were also a mix of neurotypicals and neurodivergents that were themselves a product of earth. Framing is important. When you say the world isn’t made for you, it’s like you saying you aren’t part of this world. That there is some god or process that made everything except you. You make yourself other, more than any neurotypical does when you frame your entire reality around you being the ultimate other. No; you’re here the same way as everyone else got here, and the world that produced you has been influenced greatly by neurodivergents. It’s how we’re talking right now. If things ever change such that neurodivergents are welcomed and respected just for who they are, it’ll be the world that we’re in right now that became that. Just like how it is the same world that has tortured and lobotomized autistic people, that now is being shaped by autistic giants. That now, in a few places, celebrates them as valuable people and not lesser beings. This is all a process, and you’re part of it. You’re not other, or separate from it, it shaped you and you shape it.

[@risteves8946]

I’m a librarian! It’s great and exactly slow paced enough for me to feel comfortable, even when talking to people I’m not really expected to follow the general social norms

[@jammyjammich]

that is amazing! as a kid i always thought that would be such a lovely and fun job. i love putting things away in their place and always do if i see something out of place at a store. maybe when my kids are grown and im confident theyre taking care i can do something like that

[@promisemochi]

i really thought about applying at my library but had some unpleasant experiences. with summer and school being out, everyone comes in all day and it's super loud. i went up to my favorite area that's like my little sanctuary and a whole gaggle of teeangers were up there talking and giggling. downstairs is the kids section and it's loud with kids running and yelling. after about 15min i wanted to leave and felt so overwhelmed. it's definitely not the peaceful time i thought it'd be so that scares me. i love the idea of being a librarian but honestly after that experience i worry it'd be too overwhelming for me

[@KingSebas580]

How good is your reading comprehension? And how knowledgeable are you with literature?

[@slimesplash_wiz]

I applied to work in a library once but was told by the manager there that its going to be way more social than people assume, as they spend a lot of worktime organizing public events, holding presentations etc; I guess she saw how quiet I was and warned me bc she didnt think Id be able to do all that; so I did get worried and started looking for other jobs instead; Im wondering now if every library job is like that or was it just that specific place?

[@risteves8946]

@@slimesplash_wiz it was definitely that specific place. I barely speak to anyone unless they’re asking questions about where to find a book or how to register for a card! I’m pretty quiet myself until I have something I know about, so it works for me. Maybe it was a different type of position than what I do

[@nicholascreates]

Don’t get good at something that you don’t want to do - the best advice I received from my manager

[@priscillacriscitelli1544]

I lived with undiagnosed autism for over 30 years, and lost so many jobs because of it, including my last job. I also believe that getting fired from my last job as a therapist working in community health care was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’ve now found myself doing telehealth from home for the first time ever, and have absolutely *flourished*, because I am no longer forced to mask around my coworkers, ignoring the churning behind my ribs when they used my office as the hangout spot because it was the most aesthetic one in the building. I can be my most authentic self with my clients, which means that I’m able to offer them better treatment. My supervisor is AMAZING (and also neurodivergent), and my team is super supportive. I really am blessed to say that I found that trifecta.

[@iguana6513]

So happy for you, and to hear you're an autistic therapist!!! Thank you for the work you do! 💓

[@Zectifin]

I love work from home. I still have to answer the phone and speak to customers sometimes, but not having to act presentable or get distracted by office stuff is great. also being able to pet the cats while working is a huge bonus.

[@crunkymaimer]

How did you get into telehealth?

[@lizziehepworth4500]

So happy for you

[@kasapbandy1776]

How did you managed to get diagnosed

[@wualli2494]

Wow! 85% of Autistics with college education are unemployed. I guess I shouldn't feel bad about being a college drop out. I have other comorbidities that made college very difficult for me.

[@christinelamb1167]

I tried going to college, but sporadically took a few classes here and there for years and never got a degree. I have quite a few certifications but haven't ever worked in those fields. I have struggled with employment my entire life, and had periods of years when I was mentally unable to work. I'm currently in that phase again, and fearful for my future. I hope I'll be able to "snap out of it" soon, and be able to be a productive member of society! 😒

[@ninjabgwriter]

I'm also struggling with education right now, and it really does make me feel... daunted and comforted at the same time. Like it'll REALLY be an uphill battle, but like it's not just that I'm lazy or don't care enough or stupid. It's so confusing that people read so much moral judgment into someone's level of education or ease of navigating the education/work/social environment. Took me decades to realize I'm not a 'bad person' for finding all that difficult, and that those things really don't have a bearing on my worth or personhood. They're useful for navigating society, but not the markers of the purpose of my existence, or the be all end all of what and who I am. Just hope I'm able to figure out how to make enough to feed myself so I can figure that out haha, though thankfully I've got a good support network now.

[@AmoreMiu]

I can relate. I’m currently looking for other career options that are better suited for me and are completely the opposite of what I went to school for. I only got an associates and was going for another associates in the medical field but the work environment is just not for me. It was draining in an entire different level.

[@Catlily5]

I dropped out of college due to mental illness and undiagnosed autism. I have been on disability since age 16. I was hoping to go to college and get a good job and get off of disability but that didn't happen.

[@titanfucker420]

I'm almost done with my degree, and let me just say that this has been the most stressful, overwhelming, disorganized cluster f*ck that I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Writing papers is so stressful for me even though I always do really well on them, and I have not had a quarter/semester over these past six years that DIDN'T include a midterm AND final paper. College sucks ass, don't put yourself in debt over this sh*t.

[@AmandaDS94]

I'm an AuDHD woman in academia and it fits me like a glove. The work is rather solitary, quiet and the criticism you receive tends to be straightforward. You are not expected to be friendly, outgoing or even likeable, so I really like it. Edit: months after posting this I was burned out and forced to take a break 🤡 I do love academic work, but I'm focusing on a public service job as an Economist (my field of study) in my country. The pay is good and all you gotta do is pass an exam. Also, they have affirmative actions for people with disabilities so I'm positive it will work out.

[@PixieMuffin]

Academia (getting a PhD) has burnt me out 😅 *no degree yet either

[@Dave-ru8un]

What PhD are you going for?@@PixieMuffin

[@alisonw9581]

I would love to go into academia but going to school and also having to work a pt job for so long would be too hard, but I need money even while in school. How did you get through it?

[@s.f.nightingale1735]

I spent 4 years job hunting after I got my degree, and then wound up with a job I loved, then we got a different manager, and all my coworkers changed, and I couldn't handle it anymore, and everyone is like get another job, and I'm like uh, how.

[@wolfzmusic9706]

What job are you doing? I'm thinking of maybe doing some sort of research job so I have minimal interaction with others

[@rachaellouise2666]

It’s terrifying knowing that you have so much to offer but can’t make it land

[@puhbrox]

Yeah I find it sad and annoying. Pisses me off how bland and boring most jobs and society are. I like computers but I already know any job involved with them would bore the fuck out of me.

[@rachaellouise2666]

Yes I’m devastated by the boredom of a manageable job..

[@jacoblott1617]

This comment is my energy. I can crush so much, but I am yoked by the job hunting bottleneck. I am stymied by freaking out at even the thought of the endless job hunt, resumes are literally just carefully crafted exaggerations translated into corporate speak that make no sense to me, and the thought of wasting more of my life having to do this has me in a stranglehold right tf now. It makes me stop before I start, and I have an amazing wife, also neurodivergent, who is crushing it for the whole house out of spite. It's not fair to her, and everything tells me it's my fault when it's seems like science and medicine says otherwise... That my ineptitude for being on time isn't my being a lazy, muck of the earth person... But because there is d!ck for resources for neurodivergence in the conservative (or really just most of the) USA when it comes to the job search, guess whose fault it ultimately is anyway? I am bitter today. I keep finding myself wishing I could just trade my soul out for one that can do this, send me on to hell because I am already there.

[@johannabaden9573]

My brother is 30 and could not attend mainstream high school classes or college due to his autism. Things were bleak when he left the special ed transition program at 20 years old. The only thing he would ever do besides eat and sleep is play candy crush on his iPad. All day everyday he would be hunched over, tapping a screen, not aware of anything around him. No friends, activities or anything besides candy crush. It was the most heartbreaking thing to witness. Those games are meant for ‘passing the time’ here and there, but for years he spent every waking moment passing the time. I had so much anger for the school system, for the incompatibilities he has with the rest of the world, for my parents for not pushing him more. Here I was, his younger sister, going to college and building my career, and there he was playing candy crush all day. It was deeply wrong and unfair for that to be his reality. Then, when he was 28, we encouraged him to volunteer at the local retirement home. Naturally the stakes were very low since it wasn’t a paying job, so he didn’t have to feel any pressure. He slowly received more and more training from them and he now has been volunteering there 20 hours a week for a year and a half. He now directs many of the activities and outings, as well as transports the residents to and from their rooms. The staff have come to truly depend on him, and they appreciate how responsible, meticulous, and humorous he is. At the 2 year mark he is going to officially ask for a paying position there, as he has more than demonstrated his abilities to them. Now when I visit him at my moms house, he enthusiastically tells me about all the latest drama at the retirement home, the funny predicaments he has found himself in with the residents, the ways he has helped supervisors solve problems, and all the inside jokes he has with his coworkers. If you are a parent or a sibling of a person with Autism, give it time and think outside of the box. Help them try things in a low stakes environment first, and there will eventually be something that clicks.

[@misspat7555]

We aren’t useless. We can do good work! We are just different! 🤷‍♀️

[@gerdine9258]

I actually got tears from this. I'm so happy your brother found this/his place in this world

[@TWForeeever]

As a sibling to someone with autism, I really appreciate this insight. I also happen to be COVID conscious and am doing everything in power to prevent or reduce infections so it can be hard finding safe opportunities, but this anecdotes gives me the courage to try

[@clare_jordin]

I have a housemate that’s autistic and she just stays at home most days watching tv when I know she’s more than capable and smart. Will try such an approach with her bc I don’t want her to waste her life away

[@Lola_Nico]

That’s not Austism. That’s being a loser.💀

[@Emptynogin1]

I am super privileged to have been offered a job at my brother's small business. We sell trading cards from games we both grew up playing in an online business. My brother takes care of the things that I would do poorly at like customer service, maintaining a valid business, and exploring new ways to profit. All I have to do is make sure the cards get listed for sale and the orders get shipped out the door. And I'm pretty darn efficient at that! Until the age of 25, I was unemployed. It took a literal family member to build a suitable work environment for me, and even then, I needed lots of forgiveness for being late and not getting in enough work hours (at the time I was undiagnosed and chronically burning out due to lack of accommodations). But for all the trouble I was, I am certainly a valuable employee. I work with laser focus, and get the work done reliably and efficiently. My brother acknowledges this and says that I'm faster than all of his past workers. I'm very sorry to everyone who hasn't found their place yet. Know that even if you have been unemployed your whole life, that does not mean you wouldn't do great if your needs were respected.

[@ayaaly2866]

That last sentence means alot to me thank you ❤

[@temperance2580]

I've found having a business or being part of familial businesses to be very supportive. Being able to do what you can when you can and how you best operate is sooo helpful. It's like night and day

[@sp123]

Shohei Ohtani paid off my baby momma debt bruh

[@shrug155]

Yeah sure. Not everyone as lucky. I know you said that but for a lot of us were screwed

[@Emptynogin1]

@@shrug155 I know, it sucks. I just wanted to emphasize that even if you are screwed, it's not because you are inherently flawed or less-than.

[@py4998]

Person with ADHD here! Definitely identify with a lot of the struggles and advice given. I always thought the advice of “never work your passions, find a job that will support them instead” to be sound advice but in application, it really is killing my soul. Wishing the best to all of my ADHD siblings and Autistic cousins out there💪💪💪

[@Heyu7her3]

Passion doesn't necessarily have to be a topic area, it could be a work style. People with ADHD tend to do better with on your feet/ hands-on work anyway.

[@YumegakaMurakumo]

I feel you man. I'm a female with ADHD. I actually thoroughly enjoy talking to people, the problem is a lot of the people I subconsciously go to or come to me are narcissists and I find myself absolutely drained after speaking to those individuals. For example, I met someone on Craigslist 2 weeks ago hoping I can get some income coming in and help him illustrate his graphic novel. I had him meet up with me in a fun location and as I opened myself up more especially concerning sharing my own creative artwork and ideas for my own stories in my portfolio, this dude eventually showed his true colors and began to talk down to me. And I got so sick of his narcissistic responses and statements that I called it out. I'm an introvert deep down but can force myself to be extroverted. So yeah, I am jobless. I just quit my job on the 23rd of June due to a dumb verbal altercation with a problematic coworker who everyone says is a straight up b!tch and idiotic HR blew it WAY out of proportion and WOULD NOT hear my side. I have been applying to jobs ever since leaving that crap job and have not heard back from anyone. It's getting very scary for me.

[@ameliemileva6459]

My specialized adhd doctor (who also teaches and does studies in that field) informed me that ADHD is likely to be part of the autism spectrum and will in the future be considered as such.

[@YumegakaMurakumo]

@@ameliemileva6459 LOL Yeah, I highly doubt that. "Specialized doctor" or not, ADHD can be controlled better than ASPD so it would never fall under that spectrum as it's not a mental disability like autism is. ADHD is also just a dumb label created by big pharma solely for them to keep pushing drugs onto young kids. Later on these ADD/ADHD drugs turn into anti-depressant drugs in adulthood. It's SICKENING. I only threw that label out there so others diagnosed with it don't feel alone. And I heard there is a possibility of doing away with that label in general. Me personally, I have no therapist as I don't need one and have no dependency on drugs ever since 2014. Being sent to collections in 2014 by my horrid psychiatrist really shook me out of that dependency, though father tried his best to get me back on them. Now I live alone far away and keep parents at a distance and I could not be even more happier. Regardless of what label some doctor gave you, just work a job you may or may not like (if you live alone that is), save money from that job and look for opportunities meaning, PEOPLE who can help you. reach your goals, and use the money you saved for investing in your passions. You cannot do it alone.

[@PeterBalfor]

@@ameliemileva6459 that makes an insane amount of sense. I'm fairly sure I'm not autistic but good Lord I relate in so many ways

[@katieportz8120]

I'm a massage therapist, working one on one with clients in a dark quiet place and being in charge of my schedule has made this career sustainable for me 😊

[@infinitely.]

I'm a social worker who is recently diagnosed as AuDHD. I was debating on this as a career path. Any tips?

[@CathysWorld383]

Hi! Any tips on how to get started in the massage therapy business?

[@TheJennyJenJenn]

I did this for over 5 years! It was great. I just couldn’t afford to keep up my licence when I’m home with the kids.

[@GaryWRNY]

That's a pretty tough job. Well done. Protect your body as long as you can!

[@saragoltz1191]

Me too 😊

[@lightbringerrituals3288]

This is one of those conversations I wish I could have with my 19-year-old self. She was so tired all the time and felt like such a failure. Hell...even 34-year-old me feels like a failure sometimes cause I can't keep up. As always, thanks for having these conversations. It feels good to not be alone in my struggles.

[@justrosy5]

At approaching 50, I've come to realize that it's the rest of the world that needs to slow down. The way they're going is not good for them, they're losing their minds, doing all kinds of crazy, irresponsible things in the name of being "fast paced," and many of them are dying for it. I think the truth is, we in the Autism community are on the right track and at the right speed. "Faster" doesn't always mean "better."

[@ab__5464]

Lol reading this at 19 and I feel this way a lot, very glad I can access content like this so early on. Hope things look up for us both!

[@lightbringerrituals3288]

@@ab__5464 I hope it gives your grace towards yourself in the best of ways =]

[@peternicholas3719]

Hell yeah!

[@luce8533]

@@ab__5464 💙💙💙

[@approachingetterath9959]

i honestly don't know if i'm NT or on the spectrum, but i relate to the struggle. it's insane that people get called lazy when they can't find a job, when in reality the vast majority of people actually wants to work, but they just want a job that doesn't suck the life out of them; even if it's low pay, if it's fun and engaging for the individual they will want to do it. the way work is treated in general is so depressing, how you're told to suck it up because "work isn't supposed to be fun". what a bitter and pointless way to look at fourty years of your life when it could be so different.

[@giiiizmo]

I half agree with you. I'm in a creative job. I'm a senior illustrator and making kids merchandise and books etc. I have a pretty low pay. And having a low pay throughout the years will suck away the joy, ambition, etc. I have a hard time getting a house, and getting by. I've been an illustrator for 8 years and the creative sector is hard to get a new job in. (depending on the country as well)

[@TheBeastInBlack]

I actually dont wanna work lol. I just wanna do whatever I want to do and eat tasty food.

[@timothychaIamet]

@@TheBeastInBlack i love u ur so real

[@vi0let831]

@@TheBeastInBlack Lol fr

[@deftonesFTW]

​@@TheBeastInBlackmeee

[@kasapbandy1776]

I have had 30 jobs in 12 years. At most, the jobs I liked lasted 12-16 months. I wish more people understood this

[@homiesenatep]

I understood this too, I always think my transference to jobs mean something like a dark night of the soul, or I’m just a bum. I’m not sure

[@TaxingIsThieving]

There's nothing wrong with moving on

[@yearginclarke]

I've had the same job for almost 11 years. Too long of a story to get into details here, but I have insanely long commutes and also work at least 9 hours a day usually. I work in logging out in the woods. I'm so burned out on all the commuting and I desperately need to find something close to home. I tried getting a wide variety of different jobs all last winter and spring and was unable to get hired anywhere, except at one fence building job that didn't work out after I strained my back muscles badly, and it took nearly 3 weeks to heal fully. I'm 38 and all I know is logging work. I know I can learn something else but finding a job has been an absolutely ridiculous experience this year, and it was always just as hard for me when I was younger also.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@yearginclarke Is it good money? I have a pisseasy job, but the money's no good. If anything, I have a bad back from laying in bed all day. 🥲 If you are good at manual work, you should do an electrician apprenticeship or something.

[@HelloShahlin]

I feel you!!!! Same here

[@yeahok8259]

Holy shit, I didn’t think anyone else could relate to the 2 year /2-4 month burnout thing. Legitimately thought I was just weak and had no mental endurance. I’m undiagnosed, so I often question myself and doubt whether I’m really on the spectrum… but then I remember that I : - walked exclusively on tiptoes as a kid -have been obsessed with the same thing since kindergarten and then middle school -absolutely cannot maintain eye contact -go from preferring total quiet in a large group of people, to suddenly needing to info-dump about something I’m interested in -have strangely specific routines but can never form good habits / struggle with self care -get socially burned out very easily -take things extremely literally, can’t follow vague instructions at all …and wow, making that list was pretty helpful just now. Sorry to ramble. I forgot my original point but I think I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel less alone.

[@misspat7555]

I made a one-domain-at-a-time reference in preparation for seeking diagnosis. My therapist decided I had OCD. Dude, I lived with someone with OCD for almost 7 years (my deceased husband); no, no; I’m a lot more likely to leave the door unlocked and the stove on that to check them 7 times! I just know I won’t be able to think of 10% of this under pressure! 🤷‍♀️

[@condor727me]

i feel i'm in the same boat myself! this is actually going to be the first time i've ever had a job for 3 years straight....and...i am very likely to not continue next year unless i can convince my work to make accommodations. hope you are doing well!

[@yeahok8259]

@@condor727me Funnily enough, I'm going job searching in person later today myself. I definitely feel your pain. Best of luck to you, my friend

[@condor727me]

@@yeahok8259 best of luck to you too! :) :) wishing the best!

[@keegster7167]

yea...this sounds familiar to me too lol. I'm not diagnosed or anything though, and I'm not sure it would even help if I were and I turn out autistic. Since I was young I would repeat words (especially new words) and phrases to myself over and over and over again. It feels nice. I still do it, in fact, I can't stop myself sometimes lol. Could this be a stim? Might have to look into it at some point

[@KrisMakesThings]

I was an esthetician for 15 years and a terrible job for a autistic person, I landed myself in a 3 year burnout. Too much painful, repetitive small talk. So many smells. And the hardest part was having to touch people while they complained. I'm now a small business owner making soap skincare and bath items. I work alone, pump music all day, smell pretty things, and not deal with people other than taking with them about my business! It changed my life, my relationship with my husband is better, my IBS is better, my stress rashes have cleared up almost completely, and I'm am so much happier. I love waking up everyday not dread it. That old career nearly killed me.

[@bunk95]

Autism is fictional.

[@bunk95]

You learned to lie in [school] right?

[@gmar7836]

@@bunk95shut up

[@kuritheking]

How are you able to fund this and make a reality? Interested in starting my own gig but a different thing

[@Kayjchdjchsj]

If u don’t mind me asking what’s your business name? So I can check out the products. Btw I’m an esthetician too lol

[@amarualvarez5215]

im autistic and im a janitor!!! i work at a beauty school which is perfect for me since im heavily tattooed/pierced and i dye my hair different colors every month. i found cleaning jobs are great for me because i can listen to music or podcasts all day and i mostly keep to myself :3 ive worked really hard on my relationship with my coworkers but im also not stuck around them all day id recommend applying to different jobs with 2 different resumes!! i had one that was "normal" and neurotypical and another one that stated i was autistic and had certain needs. where i work rn im not out as autistic but i do have accommodations for my sensory needs, ive just said theyre related to health conditions.

[@calliope6623]

Cleaning jobs work well for me too. I currently clean someone's house, but my favorite job I ever had was cleaning a horse barn.

[@HealthyObbsession]

Cleaning jobs are hit or miss for me There are some shady places out there that take advantage of workers One place didn’t pay me for nearly a month sadly was still the nicest one I worked for The first was owned by my sister who has anger issues and at least some kind of OCD The last one was the worst It’s in east Texas where in the summer it get humid AF and the heat can go into the 100+ but feel hotter due to the humidity And we were cleaning places were we got in trouble for turning on a ceiling fan so we didn’t over heat because they wouldn’t turn on the AC We weren’t allowed to listen to anything it was considered unprofessional 🙄 They also had a loophole that if they didn't hire you passed two weeks of training they would take half your pay I should have had at least $400/$500 I got barely $200+ Weren't just cleaning small houses I'm talking HUGE multi-million dollars mansions It was insane Doesn't help that it's in Texas so they can fire you for any reason they pull out of their ass

[@sunlightempress]

My partner is not diagnosed autistic but his siblings are and he shows similar symptoms. He has been a janitor for 5 years. Just lost his job and was taken advantage of honestly :( Now he's crushed and struggles to find any cleaning jobs that will pay well. Tried to talk with him about pivoting to something else but he is just crumbling. I'd love to support him better, but I don't know how to help.

[@umbra4233]

I’m a 2nd shift elementary school custodian and I absolutely love it (except cleaning the boys room)! I work by myself (I’m also an introvert) over half my shift and I get to listen to my music and podcasts! I get to sing loudly and dance stupidly when a good song comes on and not fear of anyone seeing me most of the time. I bring my earbuds and speaker. I also get to wear anything I want to work (as long as certain body parts are covered) so I get to wear shorts and a T-shirt/tank top to work and no one says anything

[@PurpleNoir]

@@HealthyObbsession That’s awful, I’m so sorry 😞

[@rengsn4655]

just wanted to point out that purpose does not always have to be people-oriented or feeling like you're giving back to society. while all that is noble, it doesn't always resonate. sometimes purpose can be on a spiritual level, feeling like you are able to make meaning for yourself within your job

[@sugoiharris1348]

This^. Purpose in a job can simply be to make yourself happy. I wish I knew that earlier in life

[@shellyeditsalot]

FULLY agree

[@Jess-s-hideout]

This was inspiring to read, I'm a recovering people pleaser and sometimes I forget that my happiness is purpose enough to do what I want to do 🥲

[@velvetunscripted]

when i liked this response it turned to 111 and been seeing that a lot as of lately

[@momoe.4075]

That's beautiful

[@gillesradwan]

Watchmaker, and adore it. Small low-drama workplace, very minimal pressure to engage in social interaction, permission to listen to audiobooks all day long while troubleshooting mechanical problems. The dream.

[@oak5721]

If you don't mind sharing, how did you train for/obtain this job?

[@gillesradwan]

Happily. Keep in mind my experience is solely within the US. I went to a two year training program for multiple brands, then worked at an independent which was a mistake because it was a retail storefront, and then was hired at a single brand service center. The training from the multibrand school is invaluable, but there are only a couple schools like it left. However, there are still one year training programs for a lot of the singular brands. Hope this is helpful information!

[@Jesus_Saves_Believers]

Nice.

[@puhbrox]

yawn

[@ilikeplantsandvideogames8625]

I don't think I'll ever find a job that works for me. Every single job requires a seemingly superhuman level of commitment and time. I think I'm fucked, literally crying right now because I don't know how I'll pay the bills.

[@dmreddragon6]

Keep an eye out on Indeed for jobs (if you're in the US). There are PT jobs, and even Per Diem jobs out there. The variety of jobs listed on there is vast. Best wishes that 2024 brings you all that you need. I'm very stressed, and worried about paying my bills too. Been unemployed almost 4 months, and have no family to lean on.

[@trinarobinson1052]

Maybe you could work at a nursery? Your username says you like plants ;) Depending on if you want to be alone or around other people, working at a nursery isn't too high maintenance and you could just do your thing.

[@bellonasky2502]

I live at home because of this issue. I’ve tried lots of different things and constantly trying to adapt and change tactics. I’m flat out of ideas and I can’t think of anything my health issues aren’t a deal breaker for employers and managing and masking them alone leaves me exhausted even if everything else is right. (Some can’t be accommodated.) Even self employed, I’d have a hard time working enough. Even at home I’m forced to mask. It’s gotten so bad that I have to self medicate to manage to manage the pain and mood because I’ve tried tons of meds over two decades but they still think it’s all due to a mental illness and don’t consider that maybe the diagnoses are wrong. Just discovered that it’s stuff that I’m more prone to because of having a different nervous system and probably made worse by being forced to mask by parents where the one that ruins the show and the other always goes along with is autistic but from a family where it wasn’t tolerated! It was believed that you just suck it up and push past it. (That’s most of last century for you.) Parents aren’t getting younger (in their 70’s and still working since they can’t afford to retire) and my other siblings aren’t going to house me. Yet I’m unable to do that for myself. 🤷‍♀️ They think I’m just lazy and won’t help me out financially other than providing a place to live. Once again, no medication to prevent the breakdown so I can just suck it up and work. At this point they’re actually making me suicidal! Not functioning well alone but I’m not suicidal. I even have to be careful with natural antidepressants. It’s scary and weird when in your 40’s.

[@asellus.aquaticus6238]

I think more autistic people should actually consider working with autistic people. I don't know how it looks in your country, but in my country there are lots of group homes and different forms of supported living where you could most likely, with personal experience and interest and actual insight in your own experience, do a really great job. It DOES depend on the individual place though, and on your personality. But I'm autistic and have worked in the field and in special education for many years.

[@heavenking2065]

I feel you ☹️

[@SaoirseHeller]

As an autistic women I’m so glad people like you exist ! It’s so scary sometimes the lack of support and hatred that is felt towards autism. I don’t tell anyone I’m autistic on my jobs because I’m instantly treated like I’m stupid and incompetent. I’m in the UK but it is the same situations here, we are treated differently even though all of us are so interesting and unique (sometimes even nicer than NT’s!) and doctors and psychologists are uneducated and overlook women and women of colour all the time ! Keep up the good work ! Xxx

[@kgonzalez8098]

Yeah I’m a WOC autistic and you are spot on. Literally no one cares at times, and resentful if you get accommodations

[@SaoirseHeller]

@@finalduche yes you are definitely right ! Some people are so accepting and kind, but unfortunately most just don’t want to know !

[@longnamedude3947]

Living with Autism in the UK is rough, the complete lack of any viable support system where I live makes it even more difficult. I also have an extremely hyperactive ADHD diagnosis, I operate at 15,000KMH while everyone else moves at 1KMH, everyone and everything feels slow. I have a technical mind so I'm always problem solving in my head, as a result I often burn out before I even get to doing any sort of task. I'm heavily reliant on my parents for support as at my age all but one of my friends have long since moved away so I'm stuck living at home still trying to work out what my next step is. I so want to achieve more than I do right now, but I simply don't know where to go next, or, what I even want to do next, I spend much of my time helping other people online with technical (computer or engineering) related problems, or talking to other people who themselves are struggling with the difficulties of life, be it personal, work, or, society as a whole. I often get told I give great advice and that I should listen to my own advice, unfortunately I'm far to stubborn & chivalrous to do that, and at times I often don't know how to apply my own advice to my life. Anyway I guess what I am saying here is that you're not alone in struggling to fit in and find work in British Society as someone who has Autism, but don't let that stop you from succeeding at what you are truly great at, and, at what you enjoy doing, remember that you only live once so spend that time doing the things that YOU want to do! Also it's very true that both WOMEN & Women Of Colour are very poorly acknowledged by Mental Health Soecialists & Medical Professionals in the UK, I don't think I've ever met a psychiatrist who has never mentioned that Women & People of Colour are under supported groups in the UK. Stay strong and keep your head up high, and if anybody here wants to chat with me then feel free to E-Mail me at: [e-mail] Or contact me on Discord: TOGLK I am always happy to chat any time of day that I am awake, come rain or shine, I am happy to talk about anything and I am reasonably well clued up about life as a whole. I don't bite either, Promise ;-) So if you've got something on your mind, or if you want to add a new person to your list of friends then feel free to reach out! Take care for now, and Peace be with you ✌️

[@spaghetto9836]

As a black person, I wanna be screened for ASD/ADHD, but those statistics about women of colour worry me...

[@danarilyspena2633]

This!! I haven’t been diagnosed but fear how to even approach the matter to being assessed because my concerns are almost always dismissed. 😩😓

[@summermazur3064]

We definitely are more productive than neurotypical workers. I love repetitive tasks and can do the same thing over and over for hours, while never losing my extreme attention to detail and ability to find mistakes. Most neurotypicals get bored so easily and just go to work for the paycheck. I feel very lucky that I have a job related to one of my main, lifelong special interests.

[@Anna-yl2lp]

I recently started a job at a company that makes jewelery, I do only 20 hours a week for now but for me it seemed like a lot and I expected to be overwhelmed by the second day. I'm two weeks in and I literally feel more relaxed at work than outside day to day... It's honestly fascinating how good repetitive task are for my system, pair it with making little to no decisions and I'm basically meditating. The hardest part is saying hi to like a dozen different people when I come in but everyone is so nice there that I don't really want them to stop saying hi, it's kinda cute lol. And I sit doing my repetitive littke tasks thinking how a normal person would have already gone mad 😂

[@rev4449]

What is your job and special interest, if you care to share?

[@summermazur3064]

​@@rev4449 I'm a scientist. I do medical abstracting and data entry for research. Medicine and anatomy/physiology has been one of my main special interests since about age 3.

[@Heyu7her3]

I think you're considering autism but not ADHD (which is also categorized as neurodivergence). They would say that's not their experience.

[@coldblooded568]

Yall weird 😂

[@sarahmoi5677]

I am a flight attendant with AuDHD. I do not disclose it when working but it mostly works. I love people, most of my colleagues (that change everyday) are very open minded and even if we don’t get along that well we have a lot of procedures in place to still work efficiently. Those also make it easier to perform well and become very good with practice, as most flights have the same base structure. The diversity of destinations, passengers and work times also fulfil my need to have routine of flight without being too routine (boring). My skill sets are pretty spot on for the job, I keep a clean and organised galley, I can socialise a lot with passengers or less if I don’t work the cabin, I like the rules we have to follow, I feel comfortable and protected by my uniform. It requires me to dress up with make up more than I would like but it takes the decision of what to wear away. I can wear special earplugs to reduce the noise around me when needed but I do enjoy the noises of the ovens, latches, containers between closed when I need the stimulation. (I also use it as a self check, so I have visual and auditif.) I have been doing that job for six years and now have most small talks down, scripted, I am more able to choose the type of flights I need (longhaul flights with breaks in the middle so I can get down time and recharge before second service. It did require me to get a hotel routine in place too though, and get comfortable with my “invisible dirt” aversion. I also find purpose in that job as I wanted to help people, be of service, use my langages, do something on my feet, not a 9-5 deskjob. And I have always loved to fly. My colleagues are almost all passionate about flying too so we can geek and talk about it for hours without anyone complaining :) I still face challenges but I go to work happy most days. The biggest hurdle is the tiredness when I come home and being okay with it, developing a proper resting routine that works no matter what time I landed and where. And managing time with my family when I come back. Anywho, thanks for reading, I hope it was understandable and I wish you the best of days ❤

[@Splitter4444]

Thank you for sharing! It was very pleasant to read

[@darthbigboy7978]

Beautiful read

[@if4309]

I'm autistic born and raised in Russia. Well. Medics, pharmacy and human biology have been my passion since I was a child. "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" A doctor. Of course. And that's basically what happened. When I wasn't playing piano, I studied and eventually I graduated as a specialist (cardiology) in medicine. Or. What is it in English? Well. I had the time of my life workind as a doctor in my first job. I was enjoying every single moment there. Turned out not everyone liked my treatment because one day my employer called me to her office. She asked "What are you doing?" in which I responded "I'm doing my job, good ms." She made that eye contact and we just stared at each other for a while until she opened her mouth and said "I'm so proud of you, you've done great job. Especially with communicating with patients." I thought she meant it because I did do my job carefully and had the highest grades of my university. No mistakes were made during my shift. As a humble emloyee I thanked her for the compliment. Well. My employer bursted to laugh and asked if I really didn't understant. I didn't. "You're fired, mr. Filenkov", she said still laughing. I left that hospital, worked some years in another hospital which was much smaller than the first one so they wouldn't fire me if I could keep people alive. During that time many collegues and my employer did say I'd better train my social skills and finally I managed to realize why was I fired from my first job. Years later I met my first employer at a bar. We (mainly she) had a good time and we happened to talk about my social skills. She didn't believe I'd improved so she forced me to prove me. After some fake scenarios she acknowlegded my power and offered an opportinity to discuss about a new job at the hospital. I did enjoy my first job and living in Sankt Peterburg so I went to job interview and got my job back. Nowadays I'm still working at the same hospital as a heart surgeon and my employer and I are good friends. I got my autism diagnosis couple of years ago and it helped a lot understanding the whole picture. My employer also apologized since back then she was young and autistic people were treated like... can't think of an English word for that but you get it. People didn't know about autism so autistic people were like useless trash in society. I did forgive her because she was young and stupid back then (can I say this aboyt my boss?). Glad things have changedso people have more knowledge about neurodivergent people.

[@tatafromthehood5573]

God the fact that she laughed in your face as she fired you is still awful 😞. I'm glad that she apologized though and you got your job back ❤

[@if4309]

@@tatafromthehood5573 I don't know why I want to defend her so much but. She was the hospital manager and probably wanted only the best for the hospital and the patients. If there's a lot of complains and the person in responsibility doesn't show a chance to change, it would be only logical to hire someone else. Don't you think?

[@ExcaliburPaladin]

​@@tatafromthehood5573Typical gaslighting, its too easy to do on autists and not even funny

[@Sapropelle]

Спасибо за историю, приятель!

[@cc5348]

Вы-большой молодец! Спасибо, что поделились историей. У Вас прекрасный английский!

[@cinnamonthecat9661]

I have autism and my first and last job was with McDonalds. I was only able to last a month before quitting. I didn't even realize how overwhelming it was in terms of sensory sensitivities, until you mentioned it. My job was located next to a highway, it was insanely busy and we always had our lobby packed full of people. There were times where the lobby would get so packed that I was surrounded by people speaking, kids crying, customers getting angry. And when I'd go back to the kitchen, I'd be surrounded by sounds of co-workers yelling to each other, machines beeping non-stop, the smoothie machines blasting away at ice. And if I wanted a break from all of the noise, there was absolutely no escape. I remember one day was so bad I went to the bathroom to cry, and someone let their kid bang on the walls with a toy over and over and over. Even if it weren't for the kid, there would be the loud sound of the toilets flushing, the water running, and the air dryer booming. And if I tried to go outside, that wasn't safe either because the highway had at least a thousand cars running past me at a time. It was so unbelievably overwhelming and that's not even getting into the sheer toxicity of my managers and how understaffed the place was. My next job is going to be at a boba shop, I start this week, and I'm pretty nervous. I think it'll be okay though. The managers seem super chill, the customers are all teens or young adults. The shop isnt super popular or busy like my last job. It overall seems like it's going to be a lot less overwhelming. Everytime I've gone into the shop it's quiet and calm and there's very little customers. It's also part time, not full time like my last job. I'm hoping to do tarot readings on the side for money while I gather up the confidence to get a second part time job. I think things will be okay, but a job is a job and I'm autistic so I'm pretty anxious about working again. Wish me luck. UPDATE: To everyone wondering, the boba job fell through & I got fired due to being non-verbal and the owners finding out that I'm gay & were apparently homophobic. But I have gotten rehired at a ski resort and it pays well, so all is ok. Thanks for everyone asking.

[@Danielle-nz9tn]

How did the boba shop job turn out ?

[@petofiarkwright3236]

As a person with ADHD and working at a boba stand, what is bad about this job is that I worked alone for 12 hours. Working at a place with more people at once would be great, learning the boba recipes is easy, but it was definitely not for me cuz I was working alone and had no place to sit down when they weren't any customers. It's a bit stressful but it can be lots of fun! Wishing you the best of luck.

[@sweetwillow]

You could also be a writer, this was very well written!

[@gabor6259]

I was rooting for you until you mentioned tarot readings.

[@unucellply4221]

no, I'm quite blunt at this. I'm studying English and there shouldn't be words like "even", "would", there aren't connectors of contrast, tenses are not correct, either articles, neither adverbs of frequency, some clauses are missing. that's just analysing the first half

[@carolinadias8673]

Man, the part about having to go numb around co-workers is too real for me.. It's odd because at first I thought we'd get along since we have similar interests. But then it became clear these people were highly negative, they would gossip about everyone (even about someone on our team), they were rude and downright cruel at times. I feel so uncomfortable because I never know what I'm doing wrong. It's always something. I've had to take my lunch breaks outside my office because it's the only way I can get some sort of relief throughout the day. It's so fucking exhausting.

[@morticiatheloaf]

I experience the same thing working at a restaurant. People always have to be hypercritical of everyone else and create drama/gossip. It’s so negative and I hope every job isn’t like this

[@prettyskinbabe]

@@morticiatheloafI experienced the same thing in every restaurant, it was always the place I felt like I didn’t have to mask as much but also at the same time the energy surrounding was so horrible

[@maddiehardisky]

omg the meanness of NT people is wild to me, I am floored every day by how negative and rude people are on the daily. and it's not just customers to workers, it's the workers to each other.

[@che4840]

a lot of places have bad company culture.

[@che4840]

@@maddiehardiskyThey’re stressed and venting on everyone else. I’m starting to realize that the alexithymia meme the studies would like autistic individuals to believe about themselves is a made-up condition. Because…most neurotypicals have no idea what they’re feeling when they’re feeling it nor do they have the logical reasoning to psychoanalyze themselves and articulate it.

[@PenTheMighty]

Something I think people disregard on this topic; you work to pay the bills but it's your passion that you live for. I know of several "successful" autistic people and they fell into one of two camps. One set had a day job but made income through their passion. One guy wrote about horror films/events and makes enough to supplement his job at the post office. He hates his job but he loves his passion work and it balances his life. The other are those who work in an industry but are dissatisfied with how it's run, so they start small in their field and build it into their own business. Due to their attention to detail and ability to view personnel dispassionately, they tend to run their businesses in a very efficient and more meritocratic manner. Food for thought.

[@LouiseHultcrantz]

The part about being fulfilled AT your workplace instead of outside of it really hit home for me because being at work drains me and therefore I have absolutely no energy to do anything when I'm home, so I'm sad and tired both at work and at home

[@GalaxxVA]

Yes!! This comment is gonna make me cry, someone understands!! I’ve felt so alone for so long, I figure skate, I draw and paint, I read, I love learning languages, I sew and I design clothes, but I have no energy and it’s the absolute worst feeling to get home and want to draw or go skating but I can’t because I’m so drained and I can’t stress how awful it makes me feel, I just want to scream sometimes

[@SpiKSpaN-ei6zq]

That's me. 😢

[@KateFrancis-eo2rp]

Yes I find myself obsessing about the job in my free time

[@machogrubba14]

Being a server is the worst job with my neurodivergence, guys. I can’t stand it anymore haha😂 it’s hard to deal with so many rude people that expect perfection all the time!

[@Byijwy774]

I’m in this boat too. I’ve been in food service since I was 15 and it’s so overstimulating and unfulfilling. Chiller environments like coffee don’t make enough money to survive without working 7 days a week and there’s no other entry level job I can find that meets my needs more and that I can survive off of supporting myself. Masking for hundreds of people every day, the noise and loud music, the drinking culture, dark bars where I can’t see anything on top of not being able to hear customers and coworkers well with all the loud music and background noise, and the people are so boring. How do people find jobs that meet their needs and actually pay living wages?? I have health care needs from being burnt out for so long (and from food service trashing everyone’s physical health) and I need extra income to be able to pay to address them.

[@OakleyWinters2000]

@@Byijwy774yes I always get fired from food service jobs. People don’t understand and tell me to suck it up. I think I get overwhelmed with the noise and the people I keep messing up. My folks tell me to just focus on what I’m doing, if it were that easy we would all have jobs and not messed up all the time, I tried working at a coffee place too but they always reject my app 😂

[@simoneninah]

Oh my goodness this is literally my life right now. And I would love to find any way to get out of this industry asap

[@gateauderizz142]

i lasted 2 months and did a burn out lol, get some rest !!! there are other works we can do

[@Zayaxa]

Im really good at being a server. I know the scripts/who I'm supposed to be, and the multitasking feeds my brain. Having said that, the longest I ever managed in a job in the service industry was 2 years, at which point I burned out badly and hid from the world for like a year.

[@offintonebula]

Been working since my teens in different industries. I'm 35 now. I'm here to tell you it's normal not to care at all about the company, it's products and services, or the customers. I just go through the motions with calculated mediocrity so that no one can complain about my job performance. I know that the most I can hope for is the workplace being tolerable. I know I'll always resent working. Full stop.

[@elliottwilliams9221]

Hi! You’re me and I’m you! Same story and age group

[@lavishlyvice]

Genuinely no offense intended but good god that sounds so miserable. I hate how the world just works like this for so many of us. I understand a job isn't sunshine and rainbows, but I also don't want to hate it or have to essentially be a human robot just so I won't starve and have a roof over my head. I want a job with actual purpose and meaning, something that fulfills me but still pays so I can live comfortably. Not luxury, just comfy and perfectly average. But that's naive. Can't grow out of it despite inching close to my 30s.

[@bunk95]

Being kept as a slave isnt wanted or tolerable for very long. You learned how to lie about slaves being abused, tortured and killed didnt you?

[@gmar7836]

You’re a classic millennial with a lousy work ethic.

[@drybowser666-bo3kl]

what do you mean by the intentional mediocrity? Like under the metrics of what job?

[@justfellover]

I am strongly drawn to music, engineering, social diversity, and clear communication. I am strongly repelled by competitive spirit, regimentation, exploitation, and chemical smells. School was intolerable. I can't do impression management. My attitude of either you want me or you don't never went over well with interviewers, and I consistently failed to fit in at several kinds of jobs. I quit everything for a while. Eventually, I began working as a concert stagehand, and it has been sustainable for me for over a decade. It has become such a happy place for me that even on bad days, which are increasingly rare, I'm motivated to persevere because I know tomorrow will be better if I keep doing this. Fulfillment away from work is still lacking in several ways, but I've learned that having a little of what I need is a lot better than running all the tanks empty.

[@kaysimone4228]

Thank you for sharing this. It really resonates with me 🙏

[@deebrown563]

Great comment, I think the same is true for me, I am a teacher and I love it, but am planning to teach abroad/ from home just for a change in the sensory environment. I've heard from other teachers with autism that they found work outside my country (UK) better as in some cultures lack of eye contact/introversion generally does not carry such a stigma as it does in the West. I think it's interesting that some people might judge you as being less/not autistic simply depending on which country/culture you are in.

[@christinaegeli4328]

I work in a vintage boutique! I really love vintage clothing from the 1860s through the 1980s and I get to talk to people about my special interest all day!!

[@dmreddragon6]

That sounds awesome. The closest I've had to that was working at a thrift store.

[@Detective_asparagus]

EDIT: for those telling me to sue, it's unfortunately not that easy. Shit's way too expensive, with no guarantee I'd win. I appreciate everyone's support regardless :) I'm almost 18 and I'm horrified. I've already lost two jobs because both of managers didn't think I was capable (one lasted a month the other a couple of days). The only thing in common with those two jobs, was I was let go less than a day after I informed them of my autism. I was performing the job completely fine. I don't even have a "dream" job Maybe I can find something that isn't rotting away after all

[@imjustsayin34]

Don’t go to college I’m begging you as a 25 year undiagnosed autistic woman. Just work causally for 2-3 years and focus on what you like that can also happen to bring you money and then assess if you really need college

[@hanahayashi6374]

That's blatant discrimination! Your previous managers should legally be held accountable for treating you like that, especially since you were doing fine 😤

[@kirbyvore]

@@imjustsayin34 There's nothing wrong with going to college if you have the finances for it and are going for something you enjoy... I went to a technical college and I loved it.

[@imjustsayin34]

@@TanyaKatherine it's too much risk not enough reward anymore. I'm making money and ill pay off my loans in a timely manner but what I'm doing today has NOTHING to do with university. College will always be there. I'm not saying never go but experience life first so you can pick a major that's going to be more beneficial to you. You know nothing at 18 especially since they teach you BS in high school and don't prepare you for the “realworld” like taxes. Experience the real world first without student loans on your back

[@bsanchez3563]

​@@imjustsayin34that makes a lot of sense... plus yeah it is still confusing how unless one just does not sleep past a few hours at a time in between the part of the 5 or however many days of the week they have to go to work and not either miss school or vice versa unless if they can merely ig just be since it is possible to either work less than 8 hours a day or whatever average work span is... idk... and then still have time tk commute/attend college does seem pretty daunting to imagine... but yeah where there is a will there is a way but with careers it is like a catch 22 if ya do not save up for college to not be taking on bad debt or unprofitable debt in form of a loan... AND trying to find a career or else ya gotta have the skills proven that show you are qaulified to even BE employed lest safety, and even feasibility be a major disastor if those are lacking... or otherwise detrimental if not at least financially costly of a company etc I imagine... hence the requisites for a career that is going to be probable to be both meeting and slightly above living cost...and even the ones that do may not require a certification or training but that is probably I imagine gonna be both bad for future rep and or present rep like mcdonalds hamburgers that is what most people consider to be in the food industry but the real estate is the industry it is in... although the employees are nevertheless merely going to be making as bizarre as it feels for minumum wage/poverty wage at at least 16? Maybe even 17 dollars an hour so for that to be same as even a place like amazon is strange but maybe idk fwiw it is not big as mucj as it seems of a difference if the level of skill for a given position is at same level etc for comparison ykwis?

[@longpigbetts]

I'm a Respiratory Therapist. The creativity and obsessiveness has literally saved lives. Once a Dr pulled the family back in the room and told them the only reason there daughter was alive was because of me. That being said the trauma from working ICU during Covid and PICU has screwed me up.

[@citysick]

What are some ways creativity is used in respiratory therapy? That job was suggested to me before.

[@chey7691]

​@@citysick Thinking out of the box helps troubleshooting and can lead to breakthroughs in diagnosis or treatment.

[@Tobithepurpleducc]

Did you have to go through med school for that? I’m neurodivergent (we don’t know if it’s autism adhd or both yet) and I really want to become a forensic pathologist. Idk if I’ll be able to tho bc I’m also homeschooled :(

[@jas_bataille]

@@bunk95 Are you really that much of an unpleasant ableist idiot, or is this only fictional? Jfc

[@longpigbetts]

hard to explain without using technical terminology. we can come up with solutions others don't think of. obsessively reading fine details in policies so you can bend rules without breaking them. figuring out how to get a Bipap mask on a pt with abnormal anatomy saving them from being intubated. etc.@@citysick

[@emmaGisMe]

I work in a public library and it fulfills all of these, it's got it's own issues but everyone who works there is ND, I love media and organizing is a special interest and I believe in community and access to everything a library provides so it keeps me going when other jobs have left me feeling empty

[@J.S.3259]

As someone on the spectrum who has pronounced social anxiety, I truly don’t know how I can work as a teacher. It’s so unbelievably draining, and I can feel my anger gradually accumulating throughout the course of the day, which sometimes leads to explosive episodes once I get home. Stuck in the cycle of capitalism, as I only do it for the salary

[@ellienomaly]

i'm also an educator and i feel you so much on this. it's of course a rewarding experience but at the same time it takes such a huge toll on me :/

[@TheCloverAffiliate12]

Is there any sort of way you could be a private tutor? Would that work better for you/be something that you're interested in?

[@J.S.3259]

@@TheCloverAffiliate12 the pay cut would be too extreme. My goal is to teach at the university level within a few years

[@TheCloverAffiliate12]

@@J.S.3259 I see, okay. I guess I don't know enough about pay rates/salaries and such to where I could give other suggestions 😞 I really hope you can find a path that works well/better for you!

[@xbvm]

​@@J.S.3259Hey, I'm studying education and I'm on the spectrum too. My uni has an amazing curriculum but it's veeery hard for autistic people (i have a classmate who is also autistic) We get exposed to teaching from the second semester and every semester we have a final project where we teach different grades, depending in which semester we are. Last one, I taught middle schoolers and it was very hard, compared to elementary. I've even got the chance to help a teacher with preschool and I really felt the difference. I still have to work with high school and I think we even got to teach university level and adults, but now I know how is the workflow with each level and what the students need according to their age. I would recommend anyone who is autistic and wants to become an educator to try tutoring different grades or day-care so you know if you prefer k-12, high school, college or even teaching adults. I feel like teaching is the most noble job in the world and it's something that we need more of, and even being autistic ourselves can be a great example and aid for future autistic students. Sending lots of love!

[@gabrielgray2345]

I'm a biology student almost finished with my degree and I've been working in a lab for a year. I think the passion thing is very important here, because I have genuine interest in my field and literally never get tired of working in a scientific setting. And, as you said, it makes it easy to connect with people because we all have the same interest.

[@thethoughtspot222]

Sounds like you’ve found your little ecosystem that works for you!

[@gabrielgray2345]

@thethoughtspot222 Thank you!!! I'm even more excited to graduate and work in a position full time! I'm anticipating that I'll enjoy it alot and attain more balance 😊❤️

[@artchick07]

Hi dear, I'm a microbiologists. I've been working in labs for 10yrs. I can firmly say avoid healthcare labs. I found myself now in a med tech microbiology lab. There are sirens, lights and phone calls all day. It is very draining for me. I used to work alone in a food microbiology lab. I miss it.

[@gabrielgray2345]

@@artchick07 I'm firmly set on academia or biotech/Research institutions

[@FC-ds9ve]

I was doing an intensive 2.5 year medical lab science program at a technical school a few years back and kept quitting it after a semester because although I did well and loved what I was studying the high demands to perform and being around all the people were a huge challenge for me. I wound up quitting it for good halfway through the nine month practicum that was in a hospital lab. That was back in 2019 and I’m gutted because I loved what I was doing and I didn’t mind the fast pace but it was just having a practicum supervisor constantly watching me and judging me and feeling like a was never good enough and wanting everyone to like me. I’m now trying to get a candle company going but I still get paralyzed by the worry that I can’t do it and I’m a failure. I’m incredibly lucky that my husband makes enough to support me!

[@Prosauropodslovecake]

I'm a typesetter, I take the Word documents authors make and use Indesign to give them a nice layout. I work mainly with templates, so this gives a nice frame to work within. The books you get are varied, but the core work has a definite system. At work we have very short deadlines (24 hours, and final proofs hours from when we get the message in the mailbox), so you don't know which books you will get that day, but the work is the same for each one, which makes it varied but still not too unpredictable. My employer is very flexible, we are salaried but still log our hours (because our clients are charged our time), and the idea is this is viewed on a monthly basis. So if we work 36 hours one week, and 40 the next, it's all good. If we work more than 38 hour weeks we get that extra time to take as we wish (as long as there is always a team member available). This means that if you have appointments or are just not feeling well, you can catch up on that easily. We also get to work from home 3 days a week (but for example a coworker didn't have childcare, so they were home all of last week, and that was fine too). The workspace is quiet, carpets and sound dampening panels, no radio, but a lot of people wear headphones. You can eat in the breakroom at noon, but people also eat at their desks, and no one minds. A lot of communication goes over slack, and I have definitely had conversation through chat with a coworker who was sitting a desk away 😀 The job isn't the best paid (but still very livable wage), but I love what I'm doing (i'm helping make books! I see books I helped shape in the store!).

[@ghostofmisao.]

Could you talk about how you got into this type of job, one of my lifelong special interest is books and I'd love to do a job like this!

[@leafhoff4321]

Seems really interesting, but I have no idea how I would get into the field

[@alicegilchrist-miller3034]

this sounds great! could you share the name of your company? do you work remotely?

[@oceanlibrary]

I'd love to work with books too one day. Do you have any tips looking for work in this field? What type of jobs should you look out for?

[@jimwilliams3816]

20-some years ago, when I was a graphic designer, I spent a lot of time on the PageMaker listserve, where Olav (Ole) Kvern (who co-wrote Real World InDesign) was a poster. Happy days. I had forgotten that typography became a bit of a special interest for a while -- em and en dashes, proper kerning and leading, stuff like that. The fact that I think I enjoyed that part, and also proper print preparation (PostScript RIPs, CMYK profiles), more than the artsier aspects of design probably suggested something about the neuro profile I now realize I have.

[@AlanTheBest97]

I am an airline pilot, regardless to say I have never disclosed my condition to anyone or I would never have been hired. I love it, the cockpit is quiet (yes there is always the umplesent copilot, but after a while you will get to know some of the other pilots and you will eventualy fly togheder) the work is methodical and it suits me, there is always the view too, never gets old. I could never disclose my condittion though.

[@lisahinton9682]

@AlanTheBest97 I hope when you retire, you let Human Resources know. Have a well-written email ready to go, and send it _after_ you've received your last paycheck. Or, simply call them up and request a meeting - again, after you're officially out of there and paid. Perhaps someday, airlines will realize that people with Autism can be competent, reliable, excellent pilots, too.

[@AlanTheBest97]

@@lisahinton9682 maybe I will find it in my heart the strenght and will to do just that in the future... Maybe could do some good.

[@Evilmoofinz101]

The autism burnout designated so hard for me. For the longest time, when I didn’t have a job my mom would constantly tell me I’m lazy and I won’t be going forward in my life if I don’t have a job. My burnouts last longer I suppose because I’ll work for a job to up to 4 years and when I’m finally out of it, I’ll be pestered about another job. But I used all my energy pretending to be someone I’m not and “keeping a happy face” and not having time for my special interests. So my burnout can last up to a year or two. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s also not ideal to have to suffer through something we “have” to do. At work, I mask so hard. In the beginning I seem like an excited shiny new person, but eventually I just become so monotone, grouchy and depressed. It led me to a lot of self destructive coping mechanisms. This video was an eye opener for me, and I hope I can find a job that is good for my needs as well as makes enough money for me to survive in life. I was shoved into medical careers more than I like.

[@magdalenawiszniewska2825]

Very interesting

[@alternateVSNS]

I relate a lot to this as well. going through burnout right now, I understand I handled work/life/personal interest balance completely wrong. I would try to find meaning, social moments, happiness, interest, in whatever job I would land in. just to give a few : I have worked as a barista, in retail, in government, as a delivery person, as a salesperson ... same pattern every time : love the job at first (or rather, get so invested in the activity so I don't have to focus on my own personal life) then slowly devolve into mild interest and below average performances, until I either quit out of boredom or seriously have to leave because of exhaustion. masking is something I try very hard not to do anymore but all it seems to spark in other people is that I appear rude or disinterested, when I really am just ... me. I'm happy even with my stone cold face lol. as of now, I had to go back to my parents bc housing has become impossible with a low income job in my area (Paris) and I struggle to even comprehend how we got there. so, focusing on the small things that bring me joy, or simply don't drain me too much (making coffee, walking the dog, following simple recipes ...) sending you love and support !

[@Danuxsy]

I'm literally in that right now, been unemployed for about two months and struggle to even get started looking for a new job.

[@cassandralovesearth]

😢 Be your best self ❤ You are amazing and you deserve that. No matter what that looks like. And no matter what anyone thinks of it. It’s hard. Life is so daily.

[@mindibriar]

I work at a library and love it! I love putting things in alphabetical order, doing research on obscure topics for people, and talking about/handling books (my long-term special interest) all day! Plus, most of my coworkers are extremely empathetic, kind, intelligent people that are great to work with. The 40 hour work week is a huge drain and I definitely felt more balanced when I worked part time... but it helps a LOT doing something for work that I enjoy and feel good about.

[@sarahburgess7306]

I didn't know being a librarian involved researching obscure topics! That sounds so fun. Can you give me an example of what that might look like?

[@mindibriar]

@sarahburgess7306 My favorite one was when someone came in asking for a book on ancient Chinese currency. We didn't have a book that fit his needs - he would’ve needed to go to a specialized library - but I did learn from him what Chinese knife money is!

[@trashboat_323]

If you don’t mind me asking did you need a degree to get a job at a library or just a highschool education?

[@mindibriar]

@trashboat_323 It depends on the job. I do not have a librarian masters degree (just bachelor's in English) and was able to work my way up to a reference-trained public service position in my library system. I don't know if all libraries will have the same exact positions available, but most will have at least some jobs that don't require a degree (page jobs that shelve books, for example).

[@trashboat_323]

@@mindibriar Thank you for responding. I’ve been thinking for a while that a library would be a perfect fit for me as I love organizing and I also love books/talking about books but I had no idea if I needed a specific degree or not. I’m working towards a bachelors in Business marketing right now and i’m hoping I can find a position at my local library that doesn’t require a specific degree.

[@misfitme7838]

I’m not autistic, I don’t know anyone personally that is, I don’t even know this page but I saw the title and wanted to leave a like and comment for support because this is an awesome topic! ❤

[@BloodMoonASMR]

I'm Bulgarian, I live in The UK and I'm both gay and autistic. I can mask it but I never bother. I work in pizza delivery and some customers have left reviews like 'the driver was very quiet, he didn't say anything' or 'the driver didn't make small talk with me and fake a smile, 0/10'. If they tip, I obviously perk up because I know they didn't have to do that and I then genuinely have a closed-mouth smile telling them to 'enjoy'. It's also going straight into my pocket and not my boss'. People always get at me for being 'rude' but I can't understand why everyone's so fake all the time here and two-faced. It's infuriating. At least in Bulgaria, I can peacefully rest my face without strangers asking me how I am when I know they want some lie like 'not too bad' or 'good' because they don't care.

[@kelb6073]

See that's so annoying. Why would they expect to make small talk with a pizza delivery person? Your job is to drop off their food in a reasonable time.

[@dtoons1100]

Yes, neurotypicals are insufferable people.

[@Shyntie]

Wow, I would love if the person delivering packages didn't say anything and just drop off the thing they were coming to drop. All of them shout the complete name and ID letting the entire neighborhood know we have a package. I would definitely give them a tip. The ambivalence of humanity xD

[@Sage-Em]

Haha as a Slavic person with ADHD, I said the same thing. Why is everyone so fake and pretending to be nice in England? It's exhausting

[@goosethemagpie]

As an english autistic person, i feel the same way. Its really tiring having to mask all the time​@@Sage-Em

[@Y2Kikii]

I think the increase and acceptance of more remote work is going to be the game changer. Ive been working from home for 3 years now and I love it. I have complete control over my enviroment and dont have to deal with people in person ever. Just teams a couple times a week. If your job can be done remote, 100% do it im positive for at least a lot of people it will help relieve most stressers neurodivergent people suffer in traditional workplaces .

[@li_celly]

Unfortunately remote jobs are going away because a lot of management jobs want to keep their job in office and I’ve seen a lot less on the job market compared to in-office versions. I’ve been unemployed for months and it hurts to see remote jobs becoming less and less on the list.

[@Y2Kikii]

@@li_celly I have been noticing that too...but there are jobs in tech that have always had remote options. I think for those jobs people are gonna fight to keep them remote and there's less that managers can come up with to justify having a graphic designer or developer NEEDING to be in a physical office.

[@kmc1994]

@@Y2Kikiiwhat about those of us outside of tech? Nice idea but remote work isn’t sustainable for all.

[@derpherp1810]

@@Y2Kikii that's great, but for me I suck at technical computer nerd stuff. Its confusing and burns me out which makes me less forgiving towards myself. This is literally almost the perfect job opportunity yet it's just out of fucking reach, god dammit I hate myself so much.

[@Catlily5]

I have had a lot of self hate. I am on disability. But is it really worth hating ourselves for something we can't control?

[@lihtan]

Even with a wrong job, you learn something about what your needs are. A couple of years ago I was working as a bike mechanic. I was very good at the work I do. I would be entrusted with doing the bike builds for customers physically picking up their bikes. The pickup customers are more likely to scrutinize and nitpick their bike. I was always able to to show the other mechanics how to resolve the most difficult problems. A strange thing about this company, is that it was one of the most disorganized and chaotic work environments I've ever worked at. For me, I felt that I didn't have to hide my misfit weirdo personality. The lack of structure was actually liberating, because I had the freedom to could create my own systems. I ended even taking on a bit of a role of being counsellor to some of my coworkers. They would ask me how I'm able to keep a sense of optimism and hope in such a chaotic environment. My answer was that I had found my own sense of mean and purpose that didn't include work. I looked at the work I was doing as more of Hero's Journey that would enable me to pursue my own interests. I also looked at it as a learning opportunity. I made plenty of mental notes of how NOT to run a bike shop! 😂In the end, even though I was good at my job, there was still an emptiness that was present. I finally realized, that what I really needed was an outlet to channel more of my creativity.

[@mangadud]

What job are you doing now?

[@dpstitches]

I really like the way you describe work as a Hero's Journey. 2/3 of my young adult children are diagnosed with autism and I have used similar analogies for how I tolerate working full time. The reason they pay us to work is because it is not fun.

[@lihtan]

@@dpstitches It's important to find some sense of meaning when dealing with hardship or struggle. I enjoy riding my bike because it can become a transcendent experience that feels like flying. That's until you have to climb a hill! You become a good cyclist by willfully enduring suffering, because you know there's something to be gained from it. I also look at bicycle rides as a daily Hero's Journey. It helps me recontextualize things that I'm struggling with.

[@deebrown563]

I completely relate, especially to the idea that you might need a creative outlet! I am a part-time mosaic artist away from my main job, and that seems to have filled the creativity-shaped hole in my autistic heart.

[@CELERITAS-BONITAS]

Working a corporate job, so much masking... Definitely experienced the burn out, losing my ability to keep working for long periods, and feels so physically impossible to fight it. And my job is missing the people first sentiment!! Your video is so on point. I need to keep searching for something that fits my needs and values.

[@rebeccamclaren97]

I relate to this so much! I'm currently on sick leave (always thought "depression & anxiety" was a woke excuse but it is REAL and in my case has been debilitating) and cannot wait to hand in my notice (once I have a plan B... which I kinda don't). The corporate world is not for me, and I'm tired of trying to climb its ladder while masking my weaknesses. It's exhausting and feels so fake. No idea where to go from here, but I need to find a different (probably low-paying, but hopefully more rewarding) job to focus on where I can just be me and not worry about what happens if the mask slips.

[@davidbrentslifecoach]

I'm a Highly Sensitive Person and I find this completely relatable. Currently feeling burnt out from working with people I can't personally relate to.

[@lmtt4786]

I'm a HSP too. I burn out easily. I need a lot of personal time because people drain me - this is my entire life. I need a career change

[@JustDannii18]

This is also me! I hit burn out in pretty much every job I’ve had. Makes things hard when a full time schedule is not sustainable for me. Hoping if this keeps up in my current role that I can step down to part time ; but it sure is hard out there right now ..

[@gionmagic3658]

Highly sensitive is just autistic. Google why highly sensitive people is a scam, there u can find all the information as to why highly sensitive doesnt exist :)! (Not trying to be rude, just wanted to provide some information)

[@sarahtowne6624]

Same!

[@OdinsSage]

HSP and autism have an almost 1:1 overlap. I was also diagnosed HSP many years ago, but turns out I'm AuDHD

[@NickleyArt]

This video describes my life exactly, I'm in tears. I was never diagnosed with autism, so it's been a slow learning process to discover that I'm not broken, just built differently. Like you said, every two years, starting a new job, burning out for months, rinse and repeat. I'm at the stage again trying to find a new job and mentally unable to even fill out an application, knowing how bad it will feel to start. Thank you so much for this video, it's what I needed right now. A question for you though... I also love art, and try to get art related jobs when I can, but lately, even making art is burning me out when I think that I need to do it for work. How do you stay passionate about being creative when it becomes a job? I just end up feeling the pressure of trying to make something other people will pay money for. Any advice?

[@Floof1122]

commenting because I want to know too.

[@priscilacastillo1533]

Commenting cause I want to know too, this completely describes me😭

[@JaCaraKM]

Very good question. I would also like to know.

[@baozikuzico3897]

oh damn i felt soo seen by the video and this comment, i want to know too!!

[@georgiakinder7851]

Also wanting to know! I love sewing and thinking about making clothes/ other goods for people really motivates me. Then 1 hour in I feel overwhelmed and drained. I hate it heeeeereee

[@Kat-PM]

Thank you so much for making this. I’m an autistic young adult and finding a job has been very intimidating. I feel incapable of a lot of jobs because the bosses give vague instructions, and it’s embarrassing to have to ask for clarification on things that are apparently supposed to be simple. I also get overstimulated in loud environments or around a lot of people. I think your tips could be helpful to allistics as well, especially other neurodivergents, but it is particularly helpful as an autistic person.

[@iprobablyhaveapoint]

Same..

[@whimsiclo]

i struggle with everything you mention as well, it's rough when you feel incompetent in an environment that expects you to just understand certain instructions. i just don't operate in that way and it's frustrating to deal with

[@rubyrock7302]

Honestly, I grew up with a parent who was like don’t make people think you’re stupid by asking questions - and it’s a struggle to fight against the urge to comply by that advice. I understand that they came from a place of trauma when they gave that advice but now my issue is that I have to deal with the repercussions of this issue.

[@fatdinosaur6845]

FELT like plz put specific instructions 😭

[@marxcherry]

great video, it's nice to realize other people struggle with the same things and you're not just weird. also why reading about marx's concept of alienation is so satisfying. may we soon abolish wage labor!!

[@halien6384]

I’m 23 and a recent college graduate and i really had to consider my needs for the first time when applying to jobs. My first job out of college was an office job and i’d have to mask for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. ultimately i got burnt out and had a severe mental health episode and insanely bad burnout that took weeks to recover from. Now I work from home, and while I do have to create my own schedule and stay organized i’m ultimately much happier because i don’t have to mask so much, i’m in my room, in a space im comfortable in, I can wear what i want, have my cat with me, eat when i’m hungry, etc. The best part is, after i’m done working, i still have energy to do what I want with my evening. I’d definitely recommend that autistic people give remote work a try if they find in person work unpleasant.

[@airari24]

What career do you have that lets you work from home? It can be general if you don't feel comfortable sharing

[@thedanceplant]

I would also like to know, I want to do remote work as well!

[@halien6384]

@@thedanceplant ^^

[@Illfigureoutanamelater]

I started working from home during the pandemic and it has been a literal lifesaver for me. For those who are asking which jobs allow you to work from home but don't have experience yet in something like ICD-10 coding, if you want to avoid the high volume inbound call center customer service jobs then I highly recommend putting your resume on staffing agency websites (i.e. Randstad, Apex Systems, Apple One) in addition to the typical job boards like Indeed (avoid Career Builder, they'll keep spamming you for years), and specify Fully Remote. A lot of companies that are contracted with state governments and healthcare in general will often turn to staffing agencies to quickly hire new workers for new projects, sometimes it's temp to hire but even the short term projects are great for building your resume. The interviews with staffing agencies are also hella easy compared to direct hire with the company. If for example you want to work for a state's Medicaid project but don't want to be a call center rep for patient enrollment, you can look into the Provider Enrollment side of things where they mostly focus on processing the paperwork and have the option of following up with providers via email to minimize time on the phone. Plus these jobs tend to pay a little more, and attention to detail is valued above speed in these settings. If you're good with spreadsheets then you'll have even more options, there are free classes online for Excel. Now I can afford my own apartment with no roommates to sabotage my health, and I'm studying to become a Data Analyst so that I can have even greater control over my life. Look into the Google Career Certificates through Coursera, even if the first jobs you land after completing the program aren't your ideal, it gives you a much stronger foundation than the typical entry level jobs to venture out into other fields. Best of luck to you all! We've got this! ❤

[@NeekkeKayla]

What was your office job? Im to odd one out when it comes to working from home lol. I NEED that degree of separation between work space and me space. And of course the mandatory transition period between any activity XD. -sincerely, also 23 college grad:p

[@Sarah-zg2iq]

As a person with ADHD, this topic is the hardest for me. I’m 35 and still struggling finding the right job that makes me genuinely happy. I’m creative and a problem solver but does that mean I should help people with their problems? No, thinking about it is already draining. It’s very tricky to find “the job” I’m positive but very careful, my peace and energy is more important. Thank you for sharing this video.

[@Riverofhaven]

One thing that’s helped me is not trying to find “the job” and instead finding things I naturally gravitate towards or that work with my traits! And I can change jobs or careers as many times as I want!

[@Sarah-zg2iq]

@@Riverofhaven Very helpful thank you, the pressure can be harsh so maybe it’s a good idea to let the expectations go.

[@ezr168]

Not officially diagnosed, but at 55 I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do when I grow up, no job has ever been it, they all suck the life out and make me miserable. I have to enjoy every day like its the last from here on out, most important thing is my mental and physical well being. Existence is already a huge mystery that we have to deal with. Luckily my current employer is tolerant of my needs and this allows me to buck up and do a great job when on duty.

[@toyotasupra97]

Right here with you folks. Work is just sucking the joy out of my life.

[@wellhello1603]

Ugh makes me very emotional to find people like myself. Im 27 and have chronic depression, but slide into worse and worse burnout because I feel like a failure. I feel so worthless and alone. I was diagnosed with adhd couple of years ago and since then trying to understand what I can do to be able to function in society, but then blame myself for being this way. When I see other people who relate, it makes me feel better, knowing maybe it’s not me being a faulty person, but that it’s a genuine problem that exists. I hope that makes sense

[@Nausjsjeue3]

As a highly masking individual, I found this video so insightful and relatable thank you. I felt stupid for being proud of myself for keeping a job for a year. But as an autistic individual, this was a huge accomplishment and milestone for me.

[@janeylane87]

I feel this one so bad! I'm like so proud to keep a job I hate for more than a year but I'm suffering inside so much!

[@gabrielagalaviz7423]

Same, but 4 years. I finally quit recently because of the burnout.

[@jas_bataille]

I applied for dozens and dozens of jobs and got two call backs. One of them went really well! I actually disclosed my autism, and I was about to get the job at this point, when I asked if I could apply part-time as well - the idea was that I wanted to have a little time to really confirm my decision of going full-time. Apparently this was not okay to ask. I got called back by a lovely lady at HR who was like "why would you not take this opportunity?!" etc and I called her back the same day and said "OK you know what Imma do it" and..... they already passed me for someone else because they felt like I was wasting their time. I felt like of the lowest point of my life. I work in public as a sound engineer (which I love), and I have a rash all over my body, my chronic pain has reached levels I never thought possible, and I make a third of the salary I could otherwise. If only I could get a job in a studio where I'm not exploited, that would change my life. Even when people do "accept" that you're autistic, they still don't get it :(

[@Christine83507]

I love my job in accounting. It’s the most comfortable work I’ve ever done- I can sit in one spot, wear what I want, and work on a computer with numbers and excel sheets. I can drink coffee while I work and lose myself in the tasks. Before that, I was burnt out and so strained with working jobs that didn’t fit. I hope everyone out there finds that perfect fit. It’s an awful feeling when you don’t have it.

[@hazeldavis3176]

I was wondering about me maybe going into accounting/investment research. How was the interview experience for you? I am concerned that even if I manage to finish my education, being openly Autistic might keep employers from wanting me. My hope is that since it's a field where detail is important, they would see my Autism as a bonus rather than a detriment. Was this your experience?

[@Christine83507]

When I interviewed for the job, I was completely masked and had spent hours researching the company, prepping, and picking that perfect outfit that I thought they would respond to. This was 10 years ago mind you. This same employer today has done extensive work over the years to improve DE&I. I think you’ll find that a lot in larger corporations - they see neurodiversity as a benefit and welcome it. In my workplace, there are a lot of openly neurodiverse people, and I think the detailed nature of the work is why. If you have an aptitude for basic math (like consumer math, no need for advanced trigonometry) and attention to detail, accounting would definitely be a good field for you! I don’t have my CPA, just a business-related degree, so I started in as entry level and moved up when I felt ready. It was a low-pressure way to get my feet wet and learn the lay of the land.

[@hazeldavis3176]

@@Christine83507 Thank you so much for the detailed reply! This gives me much hope!

[@Christine83507]

You’re very welcome! Wishing you all the best!

[@1111fairy]

@@Christine83507ive worked in accounting a long time and the work is ok but I never get to “wear what i want”. It’s always conservative business dress.

[@webcherub]

The “anti social” aspect for me is completely voluntary. I’ve spend many years in anguish about not being able to make friends or when friendships grown apart.

[@clarimonde3613]

I can understand... Especially in moment like now where I feel tired...

[@Riverofhaven]

I so relate! I’m currently in a state where I just don’t feel the need to make friends and it’s taken a weight off. But still feel sad at times because I know it’s harder for me. When I find a gem of a friend I am in awe at life for bringing me a good one. Until then, I just keep my head down.

[@firstset7415]

I'm finally starting to figure why I've been fired from 90% of the "simple" jobs I had....

[@katyalambo]

So I literally just quit my job because of severe burnout I had been experiencing for like 3 years. Don’t get me wrong, I EXCELLED at my job. Everyone has been super surprised that I left. One of the big reasons I just couldn’t do it anymore was the lack of a clear job description. I would tell my supervisors over and over that I needed more clarity and nothing was ever done.

[@katyalambo]

Coming back after finishing the video to add that, yes, this video did give me hope. I quit my job to pursue a career I think will be much more fulfilling for me and it checks all four boxes so fingers crossed it all works out 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

[@almetas_grandbaby]

I did the same, I hope everything works out for you!

[@mistieblu4]

Same here!! Quit my job even tho I loved it. Wasn’t supported and burned out hard. Fingers crossed I can find something to support myself and my daughter and not burn out again after 2 years. ❤

[@FennKNyen]

If it helps anyone: I recently accepted the fact I love making art. It's not even "good" but I love doing it. I was always told I'd never make it as an artist (and neurodivergent). I'm around 40 now and accepting that some days I do nothing but work and some days I can ONLY work on art and do nothing else has made a world of difference. Your energy levels fluctuate during the day, during the week, the month etc. and just accepting what time you naturally have higher energy is the best time to work for you might be a game changer for you. It helped me immensely. Also, learning when people say: "give it 100%" they don't mean "give it EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT UNTIL YOU COLLAPSE!" it means: "work should take 30% (or less) of your energy and no more than that. If it takes 50% of your total energy for the day you only have 50% left for EVERYTHING ELSE in your life. If it takes more than 30% to do, it should give you energy to do it to make up for that extra physical drain. And you should only give 100% of the 30%. So 30/30 = giving 100% , 15/30 = 50%, etc." Also, using noise reduction ear plugs when I have to work in groups or noisy environments, helps SOOOOOO much with auditory processing problems for me. I hope my small realizations help someone. Not everyone can benefit from this but for the one person this helps: you're doing your best and that's plenty. EVERYONE adjusts their behavior and attitude as they learn new information, it's ok if you don't know something that other people do. We all figure stuff out at different speeds and that's great! That's what makes us all unique and pretty darned great. Please, Everyone....Don't beat yourself up for not knowing how to do something, you just haven't found YOUR way of doing it. Good luck to Everyone in this big wide world, let's all try to be patient with ourselves and each other while we figure things out ❤

[@somariedekock7465]

Oh my word, 100% doesn't mean give everything you have?! I would have collapsed a lot less if I knew it meant 100% of 30% 🤯

[@ashleeaustin358]

I appreciate your post! I love art but I like many types, anything with my hands! Carving, clay work, drawing, painting, sewing, crochet.. you name it I've done it.. My problem is I'm afraid I won't make a living doing that sort of work.. I have a family to feed and I don't want to let them down anymore than I already have thanks to burn outs. I also have a problem with noise, even in my house I need headphones on to function properly when I need to get things done around the house.. So, my question to you is what do you do for a living? Is it feasible to feed your family on? I really wanted to open my own business but most of my family are musicians and only one made a career out of it. So I really have no one to ask about topics like this..

[@FennKNyen]

@@somariedekock7465 right?! A therapist explained that to me a few years back, and I'm glad I was sitting down. Realizing I didn't have to completely sacrifice myself and the rest of my life to give (what I thought was) 100%, was life changing for me. I had to get used to saying "I don't have the space for that today, is it something that can be dealt with later or delegated to someone else? How urgent is this request?" Helped me so much to set healthier boundaries at work

[@annemcrowell]

The idea of limiting the energy I spend on work to only 30% of my total energy is genuinely mind blowing. I never understood how most people seem to have energy for other things besides work!

[@FennKNyen]

@@annemcrowell it used to be the same for me. I'd leave work and barely have the energy to eat or bathe some days after getting home. But learning to accept that my energy cycles and I need to listen to that, and o ly give work 30% of my total day's energy was a biiiig shift in my life for the better. I hope you are able to find your own balance and what works for you, just remember, YOU get to decide how much to give. Good luck 👍

[@duikmans]

I'm 59 and only found that I'm on the spectrum 2 years ago. I made a career for myself in customer service and after sales, using my talent for planning and my attention to detail (and the fact that I'm good at IT implementations for those depts.) But having that career and getting promoted also meant that all of a sudden I had reports (to my horror). I survived by delegating and letting them do their own thing to a certain degree, and somehow that worked out well. So, to my surprise I was all of a sudden considered to be a good people manager, albeit one that wasn't into after work drinks. Now I have direct and indirect reports (the latter being way more comfortable). I've always worked with headphones on to limit the auditory input, but I had an excuse: I'm a metalhead and "you really won't like my choice of music". Good thing that they never saw my legs going up and down, the whole day, under my desk. When they saw me biting my knuckles - again - the reply was simply "just thinking". Don't get me wrong, I always knew that I was different and that I was playing a role. Playing that role, however, clearly came at a price. I did and does drain my energy and at the end of the day I'm knackered. There are days that I have to call in sick because I can't force myself to get out of bed. I also know what a burn-out is (well, at the time, I didn't know that it was a burn-out). And then 2 years ago things finally started to make sense.

[@truffleandrosalie]

I went into social services, hoping for work and colleagues who share my values. Turns out, most of the workers do not give a flying fcuk about each other, or the work, or the people they are supposed to be serving on the worst day of their lives. It's been so exhausting, especially the bullying I endure because I actually care about the job. I know it's not right for them to try to push me out, but I'm losing the will to fight back.

[@solitaryclusterofneurons598]

Oh I know EXACTLY how you feel. This is my exact experience of working in the Ambulance service (entry level non-emergency transport division). I joined because helping vulnerable people matched my volumes, but 95% of my coworkers didn't care about the patients at all, and often downright emotionally abused nurses/receptionists at the end of each journey. Lot's of bullies in this position who want to be seen as heroes.

[@hughjass8430]

Welcome to human nature 101. Nobody really cares about anything but themselves. Neurotypicals innately understand this from a young age. We realise it much latter and it's a gut punch.

[@konvaliastreams]

as a side note - purpose is great to have, but in moderation. it can be overwhelming to have a responsibility of helping people. i went into teaching and only made it 4 months in until i realized that all those kids that could not speak english AT ALL relied on me to teach them the entire language in a couple of months until their final exams. it was a Sisyphean feat and my brain just couldn't turn off the sense of responsibility for their inevitable failure

[@pepsusser]

Purpose even gets overwhelming within special interests. Can add immense pressure, but at times the pressure ends up being productive. At least imagining being sisyphus makes things seem better

[@eks2024]

Well done! I lasted 2 weeks as a volunteer teacher. Kids just didn't want to learn and I spent so much time, energy and money trying to prepare for lessons and "change their life", I 😂

[@justrosy5]

What really gets me is that we don't have Autistic actors in the media. If we did, inclusivity would eventually be baked in to our society. I'm not talking about Autistic characters, in general, as those are typically played by non-Autistic actors. I'm talking about actually hiring Autistic actors, not trying to change us (but instead, changing the dynamics we would face as Autistic actors), and instead, letting us be ourselves as we play different characters that show us doing the kinds of jobs (and schooling) that we keep applying for in real life. The Autistic Office Assistant. The Autistic Architect. The Autistic Cashier. The Autistic Small Business Owner. The Autistic Scientist or Researcher. Also, the Autistic Student and the Autistic Teacher. These are *all* roles that we could play on TV shows and in Movies. It wouldn't need to be all "feel sorry for the Autistic character" nor giving us some "super human power" or anything stupid like that. It would just show us being our true selves as we do those kinds of jobs (or being students) on a daily basis, and it would give Autistic actors jobs. It would also improve the Hollywood industry, because a lot of the things we're sensitive to are very likely also stressing out our neurotypical counterparts who would be working with us. They may very well just not be as aware of what's making them so stressed out. I think they would find that, when accommodating our sensory needs, they would also have a more pleasant workplace to work in themselves. When people would see us doing those jobs (or being students), unmasked, and being successful at them (with the workplace modifications baked into the sets of the shows, but in obvious ways that the audience would "get"), more employers would have HR departments run by people who would finally understand that we bring something important to the workplace, we're worth hiring and paying well for doing our jobs, and that it's really not that hard to modify workplaces/schools to accommodate our sensory needs. I think this would go a great way towards lowering that 85% number. There could even be episodes or portions of movies that deal with the employers/schools making those accommodations. They could include both adversity (idiots who don't "get" what's going on, and don't really care) as well as positivity (people "in the know" who give good, fact and evidence based retorts to the "concerns" of the ignorant idiots), to help the audience understand that including Autistic people in schools and in the workplaces brings a better world for everyone, not just Autistic people. This could be extended to people who deal with other differences that have nothing to do with Autism, when the same system that has oppressed us also oppresses them. Inclusivity should be for everyone. We can take the lead in that fight though.

[@PeukinsPoint]

I think there are a lot of Autistic/ADHD actors and people in entertainment. They’re just really good at masking lol

[@Im_bor3d0]

Shout out to Chloe Hayden!

[@kmc1994]

@@PeukinsPointto your point, it seems autism has a negative social stigma and we’re fighting against that more than representation, per se..

[@Catlily5]

There are autistic actors. Anthony Hopkins is one. I am not interested in actors but I know there are more.

[@bubbles4897]

That’s like saying just because we have black actors in media that inclusivity is of us is baked into society. Lol we are still discriminated against and killed everyday. What a dumb take

[@LilliBlackmore]

The two years on, three months off cycle is painfully relatable. ❤

[@emo_for_bmo]

I have incredibly sensitive ears (super common for autistics) and I work in one of the most popular pubs in my small town 😭. Now I have worked in customer service/waitressing jobs ever since I left secondary school almost two years ago and I really got lucky with my job. Obviously Saturday nights a packed pub with a live DJ almost 200 people and flashing lights is a nightmare for most neurotypicals let alone neurodivergent people and unfortunately no matter how hard I tried to “keep it together” aka masked I had two meltdowns around Christmas time. To my horror on that night my manager called my boss over. The busiest night of the year three of his employees were outside, one crying and the others calming her down. Immediately he said to my manager “ Go back inside. She’s not going back in there. Let’s get her home safe.” Turns out his son had panic attacks during his teenage years and he empathised immensely, so much so that when I said I’d do my best he said it’s ok and instead switch me to a day shift waitressing and serving significantly less people with a more quieter setting dimmer lights everything. Not only that his wife regularly checks in on me asking questions about what it’s like to view the world from my POV how she can help everything and they’re both so respectful. I am truly lucky. When I have to leave to move to better things I will truly miss everyone in that pub.

[@erinmarie6736]

This topic has been heavy on my mind, I’m only diagnosed with Social Anxiety, and ADHD, but! I am an Esthetician (skin care & Beauty specialist) and I absolutely love the calming spa vibe I can provide for myself as well as my clients! It has also given me purpose as I love seeing people look in the mirror and smile at what I’ve done for them😊

[@emmaearthling444]

I’ve thought this could be a great option for me. The spa setting seems perfect.

[@erinmarie6736]

@@emmaearthling444 Yess! I wish you the best in finding the right work environment for you😊❤️

[@Ali_delightful]

One thing that I'm struggling with is feeling confident enough to start working again. I was severly bullied and alienated at my last job by my manager. Things started out great and I was promoted; new manager bullied me right out of the gate but only in private calls. I stood up to this manager once and was immediately put on a PIP. I made it out of the PIP (because they gave me a new manager and promoted the last) but being in the situation was so humliating. What's worse is that they kept me on it for 5 months, so it was constant dread that I would be fired. It's left me so traumatized that I'm afraid to do anything.

[@lesliethompson4588]

Same here, you’re not alone ❤️

[@Ali_delightful]

@@lesliethompson4588 Thank you, it's so hard to overcome because we have to work.

[@4w4n96]

am in a similar situation. its really disheartening and discouraging, and im not sure how to build myself up from this either. i sincerely hope things get better for you

[@Ali_delightful]

@4w4n96 Thank you, and I hope the same for you. So far, it hasn't...I'm afraid to pursue a real in-office job. I have a part-time remote job now that's very temporary where i dont speak to anymore. When it ends, I'm not sure what I'll do bc I can't seem to make it past interview stages anymore. If you're still going through this, if i may offer 1 bit of advice, please put yourself and your mental health first if you're able to. Sticking it out, if the bullying is bad....is not worth it. You walk away more damaged. Good luck to you.

[@Ali_delightful]

@@TanyaKatherine Absolutely, and thank you! Yes, completely agree on our souls being precious and valuing ourselves. It takes a lot of effort to undo that mental trauma...sticking it out just isn't worth the time we'll spend trying to resolve the issues that arise from it. Life is too short.

[@tinyelephant77]

I never allowed myself to consider I had autism. I have a ton of trauma from childhood, so was diagnosed with cptsd (or PTSD w/ dissociative features), avpd, anxiety, depression and binge eating. Recently I was diagnosed with ADHD as well. A fave creator of mine has been doing a deep dive on high masking autism in females and the light has switched on. Almost every single symptom I have.. And all of my issues with work and education suddenly makes sense. It's so relieving but scary. I'm so high masking I'm afraid no one will believe me. All my life it's been why can't you just be normal. You're faking, you're lazy no matter how hard I was trying. So sad

[@user-jj9zo9kz6j]

Do you mind sharing the link to the video about high masking women?

[@tinyelephant77]

@@user-jj9zo9kz6j hi! If you search Dr. Kim Sage on KZbin, a few of her most recent videos are about high masking autism, particularly in women.

[@Alunaevergreen]

I am coming to terms with every word you just said myself. I think I finally understand it. I finally get it and what it is I’ve been pushing through. And I think the algorithm figured it out for me before I could. Thank you for this comment. I am so grateful for this video and all of the people sharing their lived experiences here through the comments.

[@alexandrae4566]

a lot of my diagnoses are similar to yours and I've just come to terms with the fact that I have acquired neurodivergence from my C-PTSD which, from what I've read, is fairly common. I don't know that I'll ever get an autism diagnosis but knowing that I'm neurodivergent helps me to cope mentally with how I'm different, things feel more challenging, and the fact that I burn out because I'm CONSTANTLY masking

[@letsallgoforawalk]

I'm very sad to always see comments like this. I don't know if I see any comments offering resources because an autistic person is doing well and has solutions or resources. Always just tips you can apply and still get nothing because where is the proof that anyone can be autistic and be happy without lots of help? I have pretended to not be autistic because I'm high masking and my burnout looks like laziness and depression. I seemingly can't work at all even though I'm willing to go through so much pain to survive. I'll do anything. But I just don't get the jobs I'd be amazing at and dont do well at the ones I can get. I am incredibly hopeless. There is no way out.

[@AndresMartinez-k4o]

I absolutely enjoyed this video. Recent diagnosis of ASD, could never understand the concept of my burn out as a health care provider. Multiple hospitals later I was under ther impression it was just part of the job. Hearing this validated what i was feeling but ignoring. You are truly amazing and articulate. Blessings to you and your new found passion. Truly inspiring.

[@idonthaveahandle2000]

The social anxiety I have from the autism masking and trying to appease the neurotypicals caused the burnout for me. Us artistics have a tendency to attract bullying behavior in people thus creating more anxiety and burnout. It takes away from all the energy we could be putting in the work itself. Also being away from nature personally made it harder for me to work inside. I'll take the heat and freezing cold over being indoors all day.

[@TanyaKatherine]

Yes! That's so interesting that you also see that we creative/artistic people attract bullies. I wonder why this is? Are they jealous of us or do they see that we have something unique and different and wish they had it too? This happened to me ALL the time growing up and I wasn't even aware of jealousy until people started to make me aware others were jealous of what I had, then it clicked? PEople thought I was showing off, competitive, dramatic and fake when that was just my normal emotions and theatrical creative way of being but it grated people the wrong way in a cringey way.

[@TanyaKatherine]

I'm the same with the working inside thing... but I do not want to be inside or "stuck" anywhere, so I can drive away quickly from bullies that pop up. which is why food delivery has been my holy grail (until I had to stop) but delivering food you can just drive off before anyone attacks you for being different or starts to bully you for not being normal. I love being able to run to my car, turn the radio on and drive off before any confrontation happens compared to being stuck in a grocery back room cutting fruit for 7 hours seething with anxiety from my bullies surrounding me like sharks! (my old job from 2016).

[@maddiehardisky]

Honestly, I'm a GREAT employee. But I burn out easily. Because our society is not made for us. I'm 6 months in to my current job and I KNOW that I'm good at it. My manager loves me. But it's too much. I'm constantly job hopping because most jobs become so overwhelming that I end up unable to continue to function at the level they expect and every day becomes a struggle just to get through my shifts. I hate it. It sucks so much. And the jobs that pertain to my interests or that won't overstimulate and overwhelm me? Don't pay enough to survive on my own. :/ 85% is a staggering number and I am grateful that I've been able to stay employed, even if it does make me question my sanity every day, but I would not have even guessed that high of a number. T-T And then you have to think about all the women and AFAB people who never got diagnosed and don't even know they're probably autistic because we don't research any group but little boys. It's devastating to think about. And we're all just labeled lazy. I'm so tired. -.-

[@StorytellingHero]

OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I RELATED TO THIS

[@milo8177]

god im feeling this so much rn

[@sibeliusan]

I'm autistic and i work at a fabric store (I plan to get a different job once I graduate) and honestly it is great. our main customer base is quiet old ladies that like quilting. super calm and there's not a lot expected of me socially

[@gchungus]

I hope you find a good job after graduating! I'm working my first job after college rn and even though the pay is not great, my coworkers are very nice and relaxed and the independent work I get to do is fulfilling but not draining. I hope it will stay this way for several years to come, and I hope you find something as well !

[@samevans1289]

Too bad that you can't get a feel of your co-workers until you're already on the job, so even if you don't mesh and "just quit", it affects your CV and your subsequent chances at getting hired after. For me personally, in my little experience in the workforce, I think that's the most important factor when it comes to jobs - the people. It's the thing that made me quit my last job, and the thing that makes me wish a car would hit me every morning on my way to work.

[@garethbaus5471]

I work as a blacksmith, it is pretty much the only job I have had where I actually look forward to going to work. The only issue I have with it is that I can't get enough hours to exclusively work as a blacksmith. That being said working a more stressful job is a lot easier if you don't have to do it for many consecutive days.

[@ChipsMcClive]

Are you the best blacksmith in Whiterun?

[@garethbaus5471]

@@ChipsMcClive I'm not yet even the best blacksmith working for the city of Overland Park.

[@pinkypmu]

I'm a permanent makeup artist and it's absolutely the job for me. I've never been good at traditional art but I love symmetry and helping others feel good about themselves. Being able to work in a way that fits with my special interest has been genuinely life saving. 🌸

[@leahmorris1333]

Thank god you posted this… I was just thinking about learning this skill🥰🔥

[@spotthedogg]

I’m an autistic person who loves bikes, I owned a bicycle shop for twenty years but an aggressive tax audit really shut me down mentally and I shutdown and burned out. I worked through COVID from home fixing bikes and selling off inventory. Now I’m working as a motorcycle technician but I struggle in the environment, it really drains me especially when other techs blast their country music 🤮 I’ve made friends with a young guy who started in November and it really helped work have a little fun but he’s done in two days 😞 I appreciate you and your channel, thanks 🙏🏻✌🏻

[@-shenanigans.]

For the longest time, I've had this reaction to country music (not all, it's a broad category). If I tried to explain it, I'd say I hated it so much I found it distracting and couldn't focus on anything else. People thought I was exaggerating or nuts. 🤪 At least I know what's up with that now. Seriously, pop country radio is THE WORST!

[@Soundless_life]

I work at a small diner and a co worker that I'm usually working with, loves to play country music constantly. I hate it, I would rather listen to the 1950's that is supposed to he playing in the diner. I have an extreme hatred towards country music, and she constantly plays it.

[@nohintshere]

as a person living in the southern us i've had my fill of country music for at least 5 lifetimes and i am SICK of it

[@sofiechristiansen2151]

I recently started an internship at a soap/skincare place, and it really feels like a job for me, and that makes me so happy. I don't talk to any customers, I am in the lab where the products are made. I do stuff like putting labels on containers, putting lids on lip balm, putting stickers on the bottom of the containers, and other miscellaneous stuff. To me, it feels like doing a bunch of minigames, and I like simple tasks when I don't do them for too long, which I don't. The people working there are all really nice, and they have made it clear that I'm always allowed to ask if I get confused about something.

[@zila626]

This sounds awesome!

[@him_with_the_hat]

God, this is so relatable. I’m sitting here at 4 in the morning, trying not to cry. The longest I’ve ever worked (outside of college, but that’s another story) is two years to the day, 2.25 years ago. I was security/front desk. I finally quit when I realized I really, really shouldn’t be working in a job where I had to assign myself a rule not to go out onto the fifth floor balcony alone. So, I live with my parents. I stress them out. I don’t know what to do.

[@shelplussourdough]

Hey, I'm here today too and just wanted to reach out because I understand that feeling, and it's no good alone. Our situations are different, but I'm AuDHD and struggle to work. I'm "lucky" that my job is remote and fairly hands-off, so I don't have anyone over my shoulder and can work at my own (seemingly slower and slower) pace, but I'm constantly afraid of being found out. I'm never close to being caught up. Looking for alternate sources of income isn't going great. I can't afford to lose this job, but it's draining me so much. It's a curse because my mask made me a great initial hire, but 4 years on, it's slipping really badly and I"m not able to fulfill the role like I "promised". There's a lot of guilt in that, and I am working on internalizing the thought that I'm not doing anything wrong to feel guilty about. I'm not choosing this. Neither are you. I know also the feeling of being a burden to people around you. If I lose my job I already know how it will go relationship wise, and even talking about wishing I didn't have to work creates a lot of tension in the house. But it's not our fault. We deserve to live happily and have peace. Are you on tiktok? I have found a lot of support and validation there for many of the things we face separately but alike. I'm sunfishbaby over there if you want to follow. :) Not super active but always open to chat. Take care of yourself!!

[@AliceGibbs-x8j]

There is permanent herbs to improve autism. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo KZbin channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills.

[@tylerwinter512]

Do you have a diagnosis?

[@Sage-Em]

Don't worry, you're not alone! I have ADHD and I can't function.

[@Laurasaurus271]

@him_with_the_hat You'd be surprised how many adults live with their parents. I don't have job advice but many parent advice. Are they the kind of people you can talk to? You can try telling them what you went through at your job, that you appreciate their help, & you might still be struggling. This verbal show of appreciation can go a long way. If you don't already do this, you can look for ways you can meaningfully contribute to the household that aren't financial. Cleaning, yardwork, cooking for the family, helping with organizing or paperwork, etc. They want you to succeed in life and believe in you more than anyone, even if they are bad at expressing it. Try to just enjoy their company & focus on moving forward.

[@unabridged2467]

Dealt with this from my ex claiming that I want to be lazy all the time, I literally just needed time to recover from working. I still have passions :(

[@saraheliselong1298]

I work in therapy with kids diagnosed with autism. I am passionate about advocating for more support for neurodivergents, as well as kids who are struggling as they grow up because I was that kid who no one knew was ADHD. The job itself involves taking data in addition to playing & moving my body & it's just overall been so healing to my goofy inner child. My coworkers are the same type of people as me and pour into me so much. I can't describe how thankful I am for it after leaving a job that burned me out so bad. The only thing I would change is the hours because 40 is too much for me at any job.

[@lovelifelaugh2727]

I’m interested in becoming an rbt I’m doing home health aide right now. You’re awesome 👏

[@saraheliselong1298]

@@lovelifelaugh2727 it's so fun! I love it so much

[@yesouioo]

Could to tell me what that process was like? I’m in my last year of high school and taking a gap year due to burnt out. But there’s a university that offers Psych with an Autism Spectrum specialized major. I kinda want to know if it’s worth it. Are you financially stable? (Sorry, this is all pretty personal but I’m really feeling lost with my future)

[@alectricss]

This speaks to me. I’m a teacher trainee with AuDHD and I love teaching, but what I really plan on doing is getting some certifications to maybe help other teachers and parents to accommodate neurodivergent needs one day. As close as I can get to therapy while still focusing on them reaching their goals in academia. Had a hard time as a kid but flew under the radar as well.

[@saraheliselong1298]

@@yesouioo I only am because I have a double income with my partner :/ I make $20 an hour on my own but I'm not sure what living on my own would look like I also didn't go to school for it, anyone who is 18 with a high school diploma can be an RBT

[@jarmoliebrand2005]

1:38 It makes sense. I value authenticity. It doesn’t come naturally to promote yourself (or anything else) like you’re a product.

[@AAHunny]

I have a job working with disabled people, (intellectual and physical). It’s so fulfilling because they are really accommodating to me because I already understand my needs and helping people makes me happy

[@lemoni_bb]

I work in an Aldi Warehouse and it has been so refreshing to have a work environment like this one. Used to be a server, work in retail, babysit, a few other miscellaneous jobs that would end in burn out because something was missing or I had to mask the entire time. I really wasn’t sure what job would be best suited for who I am but I happened to find this job and it’s just what I needed. A few pros: Set schedule (2 weekdays off which allows me to enjoy public spaces when they’re less crowded), a variety of coworkers that I can socialize/connect with, independently working for the most part, the work itself although physically demanding is not mentally draining (the physical part is also a bonus because it keeps me in shape!), I can take my break whenever I decide to, plus they have pretty good music playing most of the time. Like any jobs it has some cons too but the pros definitely outweigh them so I think I’ll stick around for a while. The cool thing about finding this job is I now feel like I actually have some energy to pursue passions and other stuff outside of work.

[@lonestartropicalstx]

They don't force their employees to work mandatory overtime?

[@megan2922]

🙌🙌🙌 I work retail night shift and feel the same! Being able to work without someone breathing down my neck is amazing!!

[@xArt_16]

Is your Warehouse job one of those that has to be recommended through word of mouth or did you apply for it. I’ve always considered my dream Job to be either Restocking stores or Janitorial work, but working at a warehouse sounds great aswell.

[@anoldsmellyunusedaccount]

​@@megan2922Me too - how do you cope with other people being distant from you? Them all thinking I'm "weird" is getting me down. I'm very in my own head at work so I communicate badly and I'm seperated.

[@lemoni_bb]

@@lonestartropicalstx They tell you upfront that the end time varies and occasionally you do work overtime (in my warehouse atleast) but if it’s too much for you, you can always get an accommodation to only work a specific amount of hours a day or something.

[@katiaaahhh]

This was painfully relatable...Especially the cycles with "unsustainable jobs" of

[@thethoughtspot222]

I’m so sorry. Navigating those social nuances within the workplace is so hard. Moreso than social interactions in your personal life cause you can choose to walk away in those instances at least. I know these experiences can be straight up traumatic. I was in a similar situation before and I had nightmares for months after that job….but you will move forward in time. Hopefully onto bigger and better things that suit you more!

[@katiaaahhh]

@@thethoughtspot222 Yes, walking away is almost impossible in the workplace and you're seen as a weenie hut junior if you can't navigate the social landscape perfectly 😤but it hurts so much to hear and see how much autistic people have these common experiences in the workplace, and I am also so sorry you had to go through that too 😣. But now you are sharing your wisdom with others with greater purpose! There is power in us sharing our experiences 🙏 Thank you for your reply; I am definitely hoping for better things and in the meantime will continue to enjoy your channel ☺

[@ryanfoxx3142]

so relatable. I recently left a job because of all the shit talking because I wasn't picking up social cue and genuinely didn't find any of them funny. I worked in warehouse, the only woman in my department and the youngest. I was #1 in productivity for 4 out the 7 months I worked there ( by a landslide). also the pay wasn't worth the mental stress. I hated myself at that job. my newer job is better. I work in a print shop now with two older women. I like it feel less social stress but its only been a month.

[@katiaaahhh]

@@ryanfoxx3142 That sounds rough, people can be so mean at work! Sometimes I think people can be intimidated by high performance. And a lot of autistic people are high performers I’ve noticed!! But that’s so great you were able to leave! Hopefully the print shop will be a much better experience ☺️!

[@visionvixxen]

I hate it when people “figure out” they can have you as their topic of entertainment or amusement…. It’s sort of flattering at first but shows a lack of understanding and respect. Like in a sense, they are “othering” you and thinking only THAT way about you. Then if there is a maladjusted bully boss, they Do cause only you additional hassles because they have issues they won’t deal with others with. My main priority in any work is me being me and my health. Finally found one career that allowed that, depending on who my coworkers were…. Not good at first and got better with a switch over of people. More understanding Still the emotional part of having to navigate the world. Your time, space, relationships, all the variables between relationships, people prices, take such a toll that I’m so burned out after COVID Hardest part is those in your life thinking you’re lazy or gotten too scared… Blaming you. Or people calling you last minute and wondering why you can’t handle being on it and just going de the flow I can, I have but my HESlth depends on having some of my own boundaries The aspect of people getting you, you getting your own needs- the constant self questioning and self advocacy to prove you’re not being a diva or too picky is exhausting Wish you could sit w a counselor and hash out a simple manual to dealing w an autistic…. Like a systems and organizing time and teamwork and understanding the persons differences manual.

[@andreaslightangels]

I am a writer, linguist and artist. I juggle the projects according to my dopamine needs I don't take on deadline projects, but do interpretation of 1 hour where hyperfocus is required. Only once a month as this is exhausting. My art is miniatures with ultra fine brushes. This tickles the perfectionism and the writing is for actual money. I don't earn a lot, but the system where I live has grants for artists, competitions and a social system that picks up the shortfall. Somehow I have always had enough. I am not good at maths so dont do debt and my bills are on automatic. My husband picks up the slack with directions, time organization and appointments and some housework, which I do in spurts monthly. I found colour coding everything helps either with stickers or coloured nail polish works to keep me organized. I use the same colour clothes all the time. This helps me choose I get clothes according to feel, not style. Baggy clothes that are not too baggy are best. I cant stand regular sock and spend a small fortune on mohair socks because they feel nice. I hope this helps someone how I do my crazy life.

[@springnicole]

I am an artist and have worked as a freelance writer and interpreter. I found interpreting very satisfying, but completely exhausting also. It was hard for me to make significant money with writing. So, I am making a go at fine art. I find I do enjoy some detail. I have thought of delving into that more. My husband also has helped me manage things. I love the color coding idea. I am going to try it. Thanks for sharing!

[@missi7196]

Recently started working at a food pantry and can't describe how great it's been. Normally such a customer/client facing job would kill me but I really align with what we're doing within the community. I spend a lot of time thinking about social issues and what I can personally do to make things better. So what started off as volunteering became a job I would gladly do for free. I hope everyone else finds their ideal volunteer job too. 🤗

[@crishnaholmes7730]

What tasks do you do

[@missi7196]

@@crishnaholmes7730 it varies but stocking, sorting, pulling things from the warehouse, assisting volunteers and guests with whatever and reminding myself to be patient. Lately I've had to call names off the sign in sheet to let them know when it's their turn to shop and it's probably my least favorite task. The anxiety of loudly mispronouncing a lot of names has been a challenge 😅

[@mirrorballmusings]

My first and current job is as a shelver at a library and I love it so much. The very rarely changing structure really helps and I love the organization aspects as well. I've been there 5 years now and have finally managed to open up and make some close friends with my co-workers. However, it's part time and just not enough to even begin to live off of. Thankfully I still live at home and can save the little I get bi-weekly but I want to have my own place which means I'll probably have to find a new job soon. It's so depressing and daunting to think about leaving this safe space I've found.

[@CiciNicoleTv]

I kid you not I am in the same position. I’m part time but it’s not enough pay to be livable. But at the same time a part of me is scared to leave it maybe it’s because of routine and I feel like I’m betraying them. It’s just hard to find a job that will be right for me right now

[@Irene-ji8gh]

Why not just get a second part time job? If you found a job that works for you, I would suggest not letting it go, unless that changes of course.

[@nataleynakata3687]

I used to be a temporary hire at a main library branch. It was kind of a mixed bag, really… shelving was one of my tasks. I still did like that and the arrangings of each genre, but it took me at least a month to get the hang of the arranging, and even then, I still got called out for making small mistakes/ getting easily distracted by any books in a certain genre that I found interesting. I think the two bigger hurdles that caused me to struggle in communicating were the customer service aspect (talking to customers and working at the front circulation desk), and getting along w/ my coworkers. Not that they bullied me or knowingly meant to make me feel uncomfortable, but most of the people in my section set off my “danger” sense in the way they acted in general- too cheerful, blunt/ negatively-opinionated, accidentally invasive (although tbf I didn’t give them much reason to trust me w/ customer info or make zero mistakes), kinda moody… emotionally, they were misfits in one way or another. They were free to be themselves, and be nice to each other, and not judge each other for their own shortcomings. But when it came to me, I didn’t have that “privilege”- I needed to earn that, and I thought I couldn’t do it by asking for help, speaking up about how I thought I was “trying to help” or didn’t think I was making a mistake, or telling someone that I didn’t like their tone of voice/ their choice of words/ the “real” intent behind either. So… I kept my mouth shut, performed tasks in my way where I thought I could, tried to take advice and criticism while covering up my hurt feelings, even stayed out of socializing when it came to deeper topics of the workplace/ topics that I wasn’t interested in… because “it’s about getting the job done according to library policy, not about how I feel/ fare/ do the job”, and every one of those misfits struggled with that just as much as I did and came out “okay”/ “better”/ “well-adjusted” for reconciling their clashing traits w/ state policy. In hindsight, some of that was social anxiety talking. I’m still looking for a job/ taking job skill classes to improve my hiring chances, but honestly I have times where some of my bad work days pile up and feel more prominent in my mind than the hope of finding a safer space/ work-life balance/ job for me.

[@cherrywinterberry]

Im a 24yr person with autism and sadly for me the topics of work and getting a job have become so triggering that I disassociate and can’t listen. So I didn’t really understand all that was happening in this video, it also makes it practically impossible for me to go to interviews and apply for jobs without crying and panicking. I understand for myself that I need a group of people to hang out with at work that are gentle with me. This feels very unlikely to happen. I have tried working, many times. It burns me out within days and I have been forced to quit or I don’t know what will happen when I go over that limit. So yeah, not sure what to do now, people still say to me that I should just get a job… it’s not that simple

[@CM-yo9jk]

You need to earn a living - not get a job. What could you do to pay for your food and accommodation?

[@darthnick77]

18:16 This is soooo relevant to me, I don't have any energy left after my day at work to do anything creative or productive at home.

[@theasianwitch]

This is so validating! I just looked back at my resume and I've worked 10 different jobs in the past decade. I used to be so ashamed that I tried so hard but either quit or was fired from jobs because I just couldn't sustain it. Now knowing about my neurodivergence makes so much more sense. I started my own business about midway through this, which was also a way for me to heal from my C-PTSD and childhood trauma. I now sell plant starts, natural body care products, and am on my way to becoming a wellness coach as well. I love psychology and helping people understand how to connect with their true selves through nature...I have found my purpose, or rather, I finally allowed myself to accept myself for the beautiful being she was all along :)

[@Heyu7her3]

You also might just have C-PTSD. The symptoms overlap with ADHD but go away with healing

[@caleb5780]

How's the business going? That's something I'm really interested in too :)

[@TheAutisticBrewer]

I’m a Code Compliance Engineer. I have to pour over and be the most correct about nuance in the fire, building, etc. code. You spend a ton of time by yourself hyperfocusing on a drawing set and the more and more you HAVE to know how things work make you better at your job. Plus you get out in the field to inspect construction by yourself a lot, get to determine your hours doing this if you are the inspector 10/10.

[@four1629]

i love that metric! i've been thinking abt going into radiology bcs of the amount of hours spent alone or with only a few coworkers analysing things. i'm very detail oriented and think something like that where the whole job is knowing your shit would be super good for me

[@EggTriangleTriangle]

I would love to know how you got into that!

[@hughgeorgechannel]

​@@four1629Omg please go into radiology. I think it you'd be very helpful as a radiologist