Signs of Autism in my Childhood · Reading my Report Cards Kindergarten-6th Grade!

[@awdr1w3r]

“I can only help you if you are willing” is, in my opinion, a wild thing to say a first-grader

[@aml8760]

Right!

[@koopstakoop638]

This is a HUGE issue with educators not being educated. The irony.

[@carlottak4496]

I can barely hold in myself the grief for all of us who grew without the proper support. I am also so pissed lol. Trying to work on that. You deserved better and I celebrate your endurance. I was invisible as a child, compliant, good grades, gifted in art but no one cared. Never disclosed the bullying, the grooming, changed school, got better at masking and brainwashed myself I was doing great. One way or another, we reconnect with our heart in time.

[@angelicurse]

I relate to this so much

[@sleepyspacegremlin]

That feeling of being an "alien" and not understanding what is going on are both things that have been present throughout my entire life.

[@Minakie]

The “Though Irene was cooperative in class, she had a tendency to speak her mind, which bothered some teachers she encountered and alienated some classmates.” got a sad smile out of me because it reminded me of a situation in college when I was with a group of girls, one of them asked us if we liked her new dress and, while all the other girls echoed a collective "Yes, of course!" I said something along the lines of "It's not bad, but I think the other one suits you better" and I couldn't understand why they were all so offended by that comment. Honesty is still something I uphold very highly until this day, but it has not made me many friends along the way... I can relate SO MUCH to all of your videos. Your journey was pretty identical to mine, with a few differences. I have both ADHD and autism (currently trying to get officially diagnosed and it's not been easy so far). I developed anxiety and dermatillomania I think somewhere between 1st and 4th grade and somewhere around 5th/6th grade is when my C-PTSD solidified. I remember an episode in PE class when the teacher said there was no way my heart rate was 3 times faster than it should normally be. I realized I had TMJ in college, but I probably had it for many years before that. And, looking back, all the signs were already there when I was a kid, but no one bothered paying attention. I was never signaled by any of my teachers because I was just so shutdown and dissociated all the time that I was known as a "quiet well-behaved girl". As long as I didn't act out and my grades were at least somewhat decent, my teachers didn't care, and neither did my abusive family. Their only "concern" was how socially isolated I was from my peers and even that didn't raise any red flags.

[@alwayshangry8313]

I relate to every single thing you said! Its so frustrating when I tell the truth and do it in a nice and constructive way and people still get offended. Like just say u disagree then I respect your opinion and then we move on 😂 also I was prescribed high blood pressure medication as a teenager so totally relate to people not believing you with your heart rate

[@marylee2732]

Ikr ppl just like being perfect & the best which is incredibly narcissistic. I now know to stay away from those kind of aliens. 👽

[@cowsonzambonis6]

It makes so much sense that you were starting to actively mask in 6th grade, suddenly got more praise from your teacher, but also started pulling your hair out… 😢

[@anjachan]

I wanted to check my old school reports since a longer time. You made me doing it now. I was always quiet. Not so good in groups but friendly. I followed rules. Had problems in structure when to much input. I was very good in reading. Not so good in Maths LOL. I did write a little messy xD oh ... And I was always good in art!

[@Jaxxie1981]

My grades were usually good, but my conduct report cards were always terrible. Teachers constantly told my parents I couldn't relate to my peers. So many of us were bullied as "weirdos" and placed in "gifted programs".

[@nyanny1656]

17:50 PLEASE THIS WAS SO HILARIOUS I CANT 😭💀😭🙏

[@Anderson99999]

Growing up we moved once or twice a year and none of my report cards were saved. My schools never gave report cards with details like yours and just put the letters. I had such bad hand writing that in one school I had to grade my own papers. My teachers usually liked me because I didn’t talk during class.

[@heedmydemands]

O my, no comment? That's unfortunate. I imagine it would b a lot to be insightful about that many different kids

[@ChrisBanuchi]

I feel like teachers/mentors in my life may have known but didn't feel like my family would understand. And if they didn't know, they still felt like I was "special" but didn't have a full understanding of what they were noticing.

[@thethoughtspot222]

Society’s perception of autism and how to approach it still needs a lot of work

[@ChrisBanuchi]

@@thethoughtspot222 Agreed. I tell myself to be patient since DSM-V ASD is still within the past 10ish years. Been binging your channel !

[@magalimasson9472]

I wish I had report cards to check back on. So enlightening and interesting

[@code-grammardude5974]

I'm happy I found this channel to hear about real life experiences rather than just possible examples Up to the point I am now which is end of high school, the way I describe it is being an acquaintance to everyone but a friend to no one because I have so much trouble connecting. I was always nice to people but I could never have a conversation with them that I actually found engaging and I always ended up talking with adults more for conversations I found more meaningful.

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

Wow! I relate to the confidence issues. I still have them. I also want to look through my report cards. I do remember in 5th and 6th grade, my teachers said they were worried that I only had one friend....

[@hkqtt]

My story is very similar to yours. I was very quiet and kept to myself, daydreaming through most classes from kindergarten through about fifth grade. I went to a private school so I was around the same 20 kids the whole time so I learned how to mask with them pretty well. In sixth grade I started masking a lot heavier and developing anxiety and anorexia from the stress. On the outside, I was a lot more bubbly and “goofy” and engaged. Then, I got to high school at a public school with all new kids and I was back to square one and became essentially mute for most of it

[@ketherwhale6126]

It seems the more “ they” approved of your skills and saw improvement, the more you became anxious, probably due to the loss of being yourself and now being anxious because now you’re constantly measuring yourself to their standards. That’s a shame. To lose “ your own Self” in order to meet a fictitious set of ordained behaviours, which they think individuals can easily mold themselves to. This is one of the psychological effects of being “ schooled”.

[@e.n.a.2855]

I was always so so brave I would stick to the rules like gum. I remember one time when I was 7 my teacher told the class that when she was teaching we could not go to the toilet. But she didn’t say that if you really needed to go u could ask and she would say yes I guess. So I took that rule so seriously and I ended up peeing my pants while she was teaching. I had a pool of pee surrounding my seat and all the children laughed at me. I just cried and was so embarrassed. I have multiple situations like that I just can’t seem to grasp that if someone says no or something that it could become a “yes” depending on the situation. And everyone seemed to get it except me.

[@S6xxen]

I relate to you so much especially with the behavior difficulties i had growing up. It didn't help that my dad was verbally and physically abusive and now that i'm 27 years old I just come to realize it was due to the frustration of my behavior. life hasn't always been easy but since I was diagnosed with adhd ( i will be getting checked soon for autism) It makes things a little easier by having more compassion for myself and understanding. Thank you for this video.

[@oyasumaya]

Thankful for your content… I’m currently on my mental health/autism/ADHD assessment journey, and you’re inspiring me to also look back at my report cards as I build my case for my assessment. Wish me luck!!! 🤞🏽🍀

[@nattokki]

Update?

[@lynncotto371]

Awesome video, very helpful & insightful thank you 😊 👍💓

[@Yuffie13]

I was homeschooled from grade 1 onwards, so my only report cards would be from junior and senior kindergarten (ages 4-5). Still, I'm curious about reading them, and I wonder if my parents still have them. That said, I was in martial arts (a weird mix of karate, taekwondo, and jiujitsu that was popular at the time and taught at martial arts school chains), and I was clearly struggling with anxiety and ASD tendencies, but one particular head instructor just decided I was a brat and had an attitude problem. (The other head instructor was a father of two, knew how kids could behave in different ways, and had no problem with me.) I recently read through an old journal of mine and realized just how much of a narcissist and a gaslighter he was. And as much as it might hurt me emotionally, I'm kind of tempted to watch the DVD of my final black belt test (which we got at the end of the testing year once we'd "graduated") to see if I can pick up on things I was oblivious to as a teenager.

[@blue_anime_cat2526]

Wow. My brain has capsuled away most of my teen- and pretty all of my childyears. Watching Videos of austistic experiences helped me bring back some memories and this video in special gave the chance to see glimpses of even my childhood and i could relate to how you must have felt/were diescribed in certain situations. It touched me so deeply....a vwty intensive but in the end positive experience. Your videos helped me so far a lot! For now i'm self-diagnosed but on monday i"ll have my first "official" assesment. I'm pretty nervous and hope they accept so called female-traits equally. Otherwise i maybe need to get a second opinion. The first is covered by my insurance, a second not. Phew...i'm really nervouse but what i really wanted to say is: Thank you for sharing your story, for making your Videos and taking us along your way!🐾❤️🐾meow from Vienna/Austria/Europe)😻🐾

[@Charl13zAngel5]

My parents always refused to get me diagnosed with autism or adhd, and also refuse to believe I have it. This channel really makes me think about these symptoms, I do my research but not very often, and hearing your experience with undiagnosed autism and adhd just really makes it all click. This channel makes me feel safe and answers a lot of my questions, since I can't ask a doctor myself.

[@alwayshangry8313]

..Not me going into my adhd dump room to find my report cards.. and giving up trying to find them 😆

[@christynagonzalez419]

That line about being willing is ridiculous to say to any child IMO. All children’s behavior is a form of communication. It’s up to the adults to figure out what’s really going on. Even children who “know what they’re doing is wrong/bad” are struggling.

[@nfc598]

I've never seen a person with so many traits similar to me. It's very validating watching your videos and I really want to be assessed for autism now at 24. I also have trichotillomania and cptsd.

[@TITARNYA]

This video has hit me straight away. I have been hair pulling from a young age. I had a bald patch at the age of 13-14 as a result. So much of my childhood is making sense

[@ChrisKadaver]

Good video! You're more self aware than me in some instances and it makes me realise stuff I otherwise wouldn't.

[@PamelaAnn]

I have had selective mutism since I was 4. I am surprised that I made it through high school since the school kicked me out at 21 years old. so they started working with me to graduate me instead of just kicking me out of there.

[@christinelamb1167]

I just found out about selective mutism, and now I understand why I have had such difficulty with talking my entire life! I am about to get formally evaluated for autism, hopefully in the next few months. Of course, my problems with speaking are only one of the symptoms I have experienced my whole life. But I never even knew selective mutism was a thing, and it so perfectly describes the struggles I've had with speaking!

[@TheINFP_Diary]

Couldn't relate more to this, I have my first evaluation appointment next thursday, the 18th, I started a go fund me but I'm determined to get evaluated so I will do whatever it takes

[@heedmydemands]

Update?

[@rossfitzgerald7356]

I’m a 44 yr old, straight, 6’ 3’’, Northern European male; so you would think we couldn’t much more different. But the amount I relate to in these videos is scary. Except for some minor things in this video, it’s pretty much much my route though early schooling. It’s crazy!

[@csebesta84]

I found a note from one of my kindergarten teachers. My teacher wrote to my mom that, “I needed to learn how to focus more and be more polite.” My teacher mentioned I called one of the teachers fat and that I couldn’t sit still. I have autism and ADHD.

[@jessem317]

I just received my old school records from the district and sent them to the regional council. When I looked them over it brought a lot of triggering feelings! All I have is a big FU to all my teachers!

[@nattokki]

The teacher falling story was so funny I laughed out loud 😭😭

[@LoneOrca]

Being confused as a kid for getting in trouble a lot just for unwittingly lacking social graces --- can relate to that one.

[@5kgxistiouvockzit7r94]

When you speak about wanting to be honest, it feels like you are mistaking honesty for bluntness. Nothing wrong with stating the facts and giving feedback but since most people have tone-sensitive emotions while being spoken to, it's important to package the message appropriately. Tho, ngl I too struggle with controlling my tone of voice and sometimes even if I'm sure I speak with a kind and soft manner it comes out judgy and belittling in a passive aggressive way. It's hard to strike a balance between a healthy social adaptation and being accommodated to neurodivergent needs :/

[@prarthanarajan1152]

People are crazy when they act like little kids are making consciously cruel decisions.

[@vespertinian420]

My dad burned all my IEP reports ): He didn't realize. I wish I still had them.

[@marylee2732]

Can’t you call the school and ask for copies?

[@HueTheFew]

Thank you.

[@speardagger]

Your experience looks like exactly what I had been having my whole life. Still struggling at 44 years of people not believing that I have something, that I'm not making it up. Even my husband has been unfair to me because of this, thinking I'm making this up and calling me lazy or questioning me about making the same food or the same mistake. Then both of my kids suddenly are diagnosticated with Autism and ADHD. That's where I went looking for info about autism in women and taking online tests. All of the signs are there, I am an autistic adult woman without a diagnostic because in the 1980s being autistic was for a diagnostic for the more severe cases. My mom calls it just a phase. 44 years later?... Yeah right.

[@prarthanarajan1152]

I relate with your experiences.

[@3amAfterlife]

Irene, I felt similar to you growing up. I had emotionally abusive parents that would tell me I'm stuck up for not understanding others and not making friends. Have you heard anecdotes of this also? I'm just looking for a bit of validation

[@clivematthews95]

Wow, I’m so sorry. This was very hard on you. I wish it was more widely known that not everyone is neurotypical. I’m really sorry

[@jennyhateseverything]

Im a 16 year old AuDHD and im about to be a senior in Highschool and I can’t help but feel angry and resentful that it was detected so late because like, I was such a textbook case…not even high masking at all…and they neglected me. I suffered so much in school. I wonder what I could’ve been if I got the proper help that I needed instead of being pushed off as a weird kid.

[@naomijones8446]

Whether if it is being autistic or not; the idea that there is real issues going on and nothing being done to help is unbelievable. I myself have had real issues going through grade school but mine had been because of being bullied especially by boys in the school and dealings with a friend who was apparently a narcissist which I did not figure out until years later. Figuring I may be at least neuro divergent and not entirely autistic. Possible adhd because of inconsistent school and grades performance even in college.

[@AK-yl5ve]

Ahh I’m in school rn and this video is making me want to run home and try to find them LIKE I NEED TO LOOK FOR THEM NOW Anyways these teachers genuinely make me so angry.. do they not realize they’re working with literal children?? Like such weird things to say about elementary school kids. You actually reminded me of some of my own experiences in early school that could potentially be explained by asd and or adhd. - Realized I didn’t mention the report cards but that was what I was talking abt at first

[@TayKazuhiro]

I got my diagnostic 1 week ago and I'm in that time when I'm feeling really angry with society and people that label all autistic women as EVERYTHING but autistic. I just look to my young me pictures and cry because everything could be diferent if people just look more close to me. All signs was there all the time you know?

[@nattokki]

When I entered middle school I started to mask too, I became a completely different person.

[@xaisthoj]

Fi and Se, ISFP

[@majaserratoorozco7450]

I want to find my report cards Im curious 👀

[@pandachan3127]

why in the fuck did u live the same life as me oml no way no way no way no way no way... theres no way...