They Know & Human Shipbuilding Philosophy | Humans are Space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1127

[@GTalon5]

Present: "So we have this gun, and we want it to fly." Future: "So we have this gun, and we want it to go FTL." The basic idea of the A-10 will never die.

[@kylejohns2288]

Space gun go brrrrrt

[@bradleypeterson6328]

You know its bad when every human understands this concept so well. "Smith.... what is this?" "Its our latest development in weapons engineering, sir." "Okay, I can see that, but what does it go to?" "We aren't sure yet, but McNally is designing something to carry it."

[@erikagehm2805]

Second story: Walk softly but carry a big stick means be polite and tactful as best as you can but have a stick in case you need to remind others to be polite too.

[@ballisticm0use72]

It's talk

[@DeathsHood]

My dad used to live down the street from an old Kenyan man. Nicest guy on the block. Immigrated well onto his 60's, was probably ~80 when my dad knew him. Always had an old, gnarled stick with him whenever he walked anywhere, that my dad assumed was a cane. It was not. It was a heavy-ass branch of some African hard wood that he carried around to literally beat-down muggers and criminals way back when he lived in Kenya, and the damn thing weighed several pounds. Dad learned this when some dick tried to mug the old man, and before my dad could even get off the front porch to help, the old guy underhand swung the stick upside the dicks head and knocked him clean out. He literally walked softly and carried a big stick, lol.

[@MilkieFeline]

@@ballisticm0use72 That quote comes from a president that literally thought war was fun. A dude that survived being shot in an assassination attempt during a public speech, refused to leave the stage, and spent the next 90 minutes shit-talking the guy that shot him while seeping blood. A man who it was said that "Death had to take him sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight." That man was Teddy Roosevelt, absolute bastard and American Icon.

[@knpark2025]

Speek softly, and carry a big stick - to make others speak soft as well

[@chris210racer]

I love how “Fuck around and find out” has just become the universal motto for humanity.

[@waynecampeau4566]

Wow! A pure fantasy story for once! A politician that tells the truth. :)

[@lucielm]

I'd vote for her. At least she isn't a human.

[@aynonymos]

@@lucielm I don't care if a politician is human, I just want politicians that are properly trained.

[@KLanio-lr8yv]

@@aynonymos that training leads to ppl like the that in the Whitehouse

[@julonkrutor4649]

You forgot the 2nd part: And got voted onto office.

[@scurvofpcp]

@@aynonymos Right now I'll vote for anyone without any historic ties to a hate group and that has not flown on the Lolotia express.

[@wilemelliott]

"You may test your assumption at your earliest convenience" - Captain Jean-Luc Picard

[@properfunny]

The last story reminds me of one story where a group of xeno pirates try and take a human vessel. They are looking for the weapon emplacements only the leader realizes at the last minute that the whole ship is the weapon. The human crew leaves one of the pirate ships alive because “Dead men tell no tales”.

[@greensweaterchild8179]

"I shid you not they built a ship around their gun, most terrifying thing I've ever seen" - Gloalvaks

[@bulldowozer5858]

Sir, the anti-matter canon won't fit! *PUT IT IN SIDEWAYS* Sir, the Raido won't fit *CUT A HOLE AND HAVE ITSTICK OUT AT THE BACK* Sir, the engine's no good *GET 500 CAR ENGINES AND PUT THEM TOGETHER*

[@GasDrinker6455B]

@@bulldowozer5858 500 car engines? Challenge accepted. A 47.3L, twincharged (SC+TT+(TT?) , 942 psi of boost, Flat plane, freevalve tech V8 pushing 7 million horsepower and 1.3 billion pound feet of tourque. (Can be optioned with Aluminium, steel, or plasteel blocks)

[@levygaming3133]

@@GasDrinker6455B just one question. Does it have V-Tec?

[@dalemorgan8263]

BRRRRRRT intensifies

[@GasDrinker6455B]

@@levygaming3133 nope

[@xanchoq7755]

I always liked... "Stay low, go fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, all skill"

[@mstrfool]

Kinda sad most others seem to just go with 'Hold my beer'

[@sethgilcrist8088]

You forgot the end of that. "Ready to die but never well"

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@sethgilcrist8088 I much prefer "Have no fear, for life is short and death comes for us all, so when the bastard comes for us, we'll meet him standing tall."

[@sethgilcrist8088]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 that is a good one but that was the actual end of the quote.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@sethgilcrist8088 yeah, only realised after I sent it. It's still a good quote. The full quote is "So we'll raise our hooks up to the sky And drink to absent friends Those far away and those who died Still fighting to the end Have no fear for life is short And death will take us all So when that bastard comes for us We'll meet him standing tall" realised I slightly paraphrased in my original comment.

[@TransbianOwl]

"Censured for public consumption"... Yah, it would probably cause a mass panic for the common citizen of any galactic civilization to learn that those really big flying guns have even more guns attached to them.

[@GasDrinker6455B]

Us humans tend to put a few hundred guns on our ships.

[@TransbianOwl]

@@GasDrinker6455B And lets not forget rockets, our love for attaching rockets (missils, space torps, ectra) to everything is almost as prevalent as the guns XD

[@KertaDrake]

@@TransbianOwl Just look at our nukes. We have missiles that launch smaller missiles!

[@TransbianOwl]

@@KertaDrake Cluster munitions... missiles that shoot lots of smaller missles, bombs that explode into lots of smaller bombs, artillery shells that explode into smaller shells.... Since the invention of gunpoweder we have found one solution that can solve pretty much any problem... a shotgun, then we applied the concept to pretty much everything else to turn them into shotguns... and called them cluster munitions.

[@gmradio2436]

Pirate: Cap'tn, we have a ship on sensors. Terran IFF. Captain: Spin up the jump drive boyz, were leav'en system. New Pirate: But, boss, it's just a freighter. Pirate: With a gun bigger than us. New Pirate: You fracking with me. Captain: No, he is not. Jump. On the Terran ship: Sir, the ship just jumped away. Must have been a smart one this time.

[@jefftheprimordialtardigrad5219]

Wise captain.

[@oldgus01]

What's your bet Terran freighters have their mass driver's barrel double as a cargo bay? Obviously with their cargo doubling as "Round 1." I mean, you only need pirates asking you to dump your cargo once, before they figure out what that really means.

[@gmradio2436]

@@oldgus01 Space Pirate Rules 1. Don't be down range of the giant space gun. EVER.

[@Kualinar]

@@gmradio2436 After that, who need a rule #2.

[@gmradio2436]

@@Kualinar Space Pirate Rules 2. In combat, follow the captain's orders. No questions.

[@rhulyon5728]

Humans come in peace to the universe with the power of friendship and this gun we found along the way!

[@jessep1257]

Humanity: We have friendship, cake and this gun we found! *pulls out a halo ring*

[@calvingreene90]

Also known as "Peace through superior firepower."

[@galaticplays1845]

Or Big stick diplomacy

[@zachsmith1676]

@@galaticplays1845 i prefer "Gunboat Diplomacy"

[@TheLastGarou]

"An armed society is a polite society. A man minds his manners when he may need to back their lack with his life." - Robert A. Heinlein I'm reasonably certain I got the second part a bit garbled, but the intent is there.

[@MrSirwolf2001]

“Well, in the first place an armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life" - Robert A. Heinlein

[@flameendcyborgguy883]

Welp, Second story reminds me of so called Slizer Engineering, Which is school of engineering, where you first thing about specific function, and then build the rest around it, commonly making sure entire thing supports such function( For example here, gun, or special engine, etc.). Also, It reminds me of an A-10 Warthog, aka airplane builder around the biggest gatling I think I ever saw.

[@wilemelliott]

GAU8 "Avenger" Gatling Cannon. They call the M134 a "Mini Gun" because it was the "mini" version of the M61 "Vulcan" 20mm Gatling Cannon [The Micro gun was an even smaller version the XM214, 5.56x45mm, recently redesigned as the XM556 Micro Gun] They did make one bigger version in 37mm for a prototype mobile air defense tracked vehicle.

[@lurker8593]

Alien: you see, first you- Human: _mmmmm,_ *G U N*

[@GasDrinker6455B]

Lmfao my friend who is a Tr’cktel laughed so fucking hard at this

[@kurtismiller9544]

Typical of politicians... Second story....Test that assumption at your earliest convenience!

[@dairoleon2682]

Not really. That alien in the first one would have been shot by people working for organizations funded by her rivals within her party if she couldn't be bribed or threaten to abandon the race and throw her support behind the establishment's choice candidate.

[@YEAHKINDA]

My viewpoint on building in space engineers is similar. I design the weapon systems, then the basic systems, advanced systems, programmable blocks, and life support. Especially if it's like a custom weapon, the ship will be built around over, under or to the side of the gun.

[@SiegeTF]

"Speak softly, and carry a big gun." ~ Cpt. Gabriel Angelos, Blood Ravens 3rd company

[@kyleboffa793]

and Theodore Roosevelt

[@SiegeTF]

@@kyleboffa793 Uncle Teddy used a stick.

[@kyleboffa793]

@@SiegeTF my mistake.

[@cnlbenmc]

Well Angelos said Walk softly but yeah...

[@fireborn]

That’s Chapter Master Angelos now…

[@DaZebraffe]

Jesus, the perspective on that first story was all over the damn place...

[@Chokah]

"You may test that assumption at your convenience."- Jean-luc Picard

[@wilemelliott]

the "build it around the gun" reminds me of the Jovian Confederation ships from Jovian Chronicles. Wrap all your launch bays around your central spindle of systems and a spinal laser cannon...oh and the launch bays had a "low mass, high velocity" setting on the magnetic catapults, turning them into rail guns... Never get in front of a carrier...you're looking down the barrel of as many rail guns as launch bays

[@sethgilcrist8088]

You know That's actually fucking brilliant. Turning the fighter catapults into mass drivers.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

I personally prefer the idea that you build a smaller FTL drive into weapons, so that you can fire munitions at relativistic velocities. Design the the munition to splinter on impact, and vola, every ship that's capable of carrying such a weapon is now a planet killer.

[@sethgilcrist8088]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 depends on how the ftl drive works. But I've seen some insane fractional C weapons that are insane. I remember one who's so killers could pull 500 G acceleration Oh and I love the honorverse ship killers they use a gravity band drive. And there was this one other book I think it was the Sheva option (I could be every wrong) that bunches bounced there missiles of the ftl barrier using some half ass version of the ftl drive made the missiles really fast and really hard to shoot down but they couldn't turn worth a damn. I only remember one book series where they suck actual ftl drivers on there ship killers but the had to because there shields covered a monsterst section of the side wave length

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@sethgilcrist8088 I am aware that it depends on the FTL method, but given that we at least have a paper on a theoretical space-time dilation FTL drive that doesn't require negative mass, it would be entirely possible for our currently most likely FTL method to be used in such a way.

[@sethgilcrist8088]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 that is true. And could make for some killer ship killer missiles. But man that would make for some really computer heavy firing computers. Would you even be able to put targeting computers in the missiles? I mean to be fair most of the ship killer missiles are described as being the size of ICBMs. You could make a small much less powerful "micro" version that could make limited "micro" jumps.

[@joshuaban2407]

Yep the number one Don't Tread On Me saying F Around and Find out.

[@taitano12]

Even if those guns are inferior to the Xeno's guns, the philosophy is more than enough to give pause. Especially if we've cultivated allies.

[@jafsrob]

They call it: "Fuck around and find out" cracked me up

[@awkwardllama0509]

same, had some earbuds in at work and nearly laughed with a customer on the line

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@OGSontar]

As a human, I can affirm that FAFO is indeed a driving principal of all things human. Whether military, or retail, war or the selling of vegetables, I can assure you that if you FA, you will indeed FO.

[@artbrann]

I see we took the A-10 development method to space which I am pretty sure the design process for went something like this inventor -> here we have the GAU-8 Avenger(30mm gattling style gun), how can we make it better? intern, as a joke, likely from stress and lack of coffee -> put wings on it? everyone else -> YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone with a real title in the company -> whats your name kid?, see me tomorrow to discuss promotion

[@VexChoccyMilk]

I like your story, but in reality they probably designed the gun for the role of being on a plane, built the gun, and then figured out how to make it fly.

[@cordellpatrick9517]

@@VexChoccyMilk Not really especially when you factor in it's powerful enough that it stalls the engine and they had to program the starter to go off after each firing so the planes engines don't stall out

[@alericantonelli4656]

@@VexChoccyMilk was originally designed as an AA platform tobe paired with radar control ststems for a very accurate weapon system that can plaster planes with thousands of rounds for garaunteed kill.

[@VexChoccyMilk]

@@alericantonelli4656 Very cool.

[@seanmunger2740]

For some reason the "kid" I'm my mind, was the 5 year old sitting in the corner coloring while dad attends the design meeting.

[@elfeater1760]

OMMMMM, I am going to tell Lady Agro.....You said a bad word. Good stories and reading Agro. For the Algorithm11!

[@AgroSquerril]

lady agro hears me swear daily , i think she is now immune to it :)

[@elfeater1760]

@@AgroSquerril Well fine then!!! 🤣

[@danijelandroid]

Second story: I think the philosophy of 'gun first' came out of necessary because some hostile xenos were too close for comfort.

[@dariustiapula]

I love flying bricks designs. It may not be pretty, but it can still smash your face in.

[@coltonhughes2724]

sometimes the gun is the entire ship

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@SergeyWaytov]

#1,1 is super fun! #1,2 is cool stuff

[@dragonson04]

Dear me, another one of mine...that's 7 that Agro has read.

[@AgroSquerril]

I am surprised you are keeping count :)

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@wyvernharries4788]

Is that an honest politician? Get her in office now!

[@mstrfool]

I did like how they realized she was an alien. Too honest to be a human political candidate.

[@wyvernharries4788]

@@mstrfool true. If I've heard of it.

[@Kualinar]

Story 1. The Rashka ? That sounds suspiciously similar to Rakshasa, a race of mythological shape changers fond of behind the scene manipulation...

[@chrisllewellyn5246]

The government shouldn’t meddle in a free market as that’s how rescissions and depression happen. Free market is a self governing system that breaks with enough outside influences.

[@davidholbrook6335]

The best part about building around the gun is that each of the life support area blocks that supposed to keep the people in can be jettisoned outside of the weapon and used as emergency escape pods then before you jettison the emergency escape you're able to use 10,000% power on the gun because if you go over 100% yes radiation and all sorts of other stuff that would have affected your crew but now that you just send all your crew and whatnot you have the v i /a i thingy inside the computers using the full potential of your weapons platform now and it fires and devastates the whole entire solar system and then falls apart into moat's of burning light.

[@SergeyWaytov]

#2 is very interesting story, fun one as well

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@kennethhummel4409]

don’t blame me! I voted for Kang!

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story 😊

[@rayanderson5797]

The most noble of human philosophies: F*ck around and find out.

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel

[@ChrissieBear]

"I for one welcome our new alien overlords!" xD

[@KamisamanoOtaku]

Story 1: Better than I expected, but not by a lot. Basically, a religious view of government that doesn't realize it is religious. Story 2: Sounds about right. ;)

[@IRMentat]

I mean, i'd vote for them. . .. .

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

kept going

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@involuntaryanalysis]

Alright, so we took this big ass orbital cannon, right, then we attached a FTL drive to it......

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

... Honest question. How is the first one HFY?, I mean, it seems an awful lot like humans are stupid and don't know what they are doing so Aliens have to save us.

[@bvc5320]

It's more of that most humans don't trust human politicians simply because they're self serving greedy backstabbing liars, and it's usually a case of picking the lesser of 2 evils, or chucking your brain out the window when you vote. The humans in the story recognized this, and took the gamble of assisting the alien, as they actually showed integrity.

[@Groza_Dallocort]

@@bvc5320 I think we need to do the same if we get the chance

[@maxmccullough8548]

Damn straight. Didn't care for the first story..."Everything Woke Turns To Shit"

[@yourshames]

It was the “ethical suicide” part of the first story that really killed it for me.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

The last one a great philosophy

[@davidholbrook6335]

Another case for human philosophy for shipbuilding is never diverged from the core of the ship you're trying to build never try to make a carrier / armor dreadnought if it's 90% carrier then go with the carrier because it actually does a 20% reduction in efficiency overall for every 10% that you get a dual carrier that diverges from its core concept in this case it basically basically means build as many ships you want bills made diversity as you want build as many different specialist ships you want just don't build ships that have a multi-class the only way you could build a ship like that is if you found exotic materials for each ship type that allow you to combine those types with minimum loss and even then it's a good idea to build specialist ship's as a package deal.

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo Story 1: Uh....sorry no. I don't buy it. Humans would not do this. Certainly not to be subordinate members of an alien empire, no matter how benevolent it seemed. Story 2: Happiness is a warm gun, or speak softly and carry a big stick

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm and a shout out to any cats named Mittens!!! 🐈

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Yea, as awesome as we are we are pretty short at politicians with integrity 😂😂

[@____________838]

In the future, Humanity is all Americans.

[@yomogami4561]

i suspect many would vote for the alien candidate in the first story the 2nd story? i approve

[@GiRR007]

should be renamed to "if America ends up taking over the world "

[@matthewklestinski7030]

"When."

[@danijelandroid]

Where are our alien politicians?!!!

[@willgallatin2802]

Agro! Did you accidentally turbo the nanite swarms? I am now missing every single left sock I owned. :P

[@AgroSquerril]

they are saving up for the winter.... not sure who's winter but there you go

[@willgallatin2802]

@@AgroSquerril ROFL! I'm thinking the north pole!

[@ashleycroydon9743]

True that

[@ritafryer8134]

Huge tanks in space

[@LeonidSaykin]

good philosophy. For one reason or another American idea of building a flying gun applies to the whole planet

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@Monster_Ink]

🤣🤣🤣 For the Algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@cjmiller6568]

Id vote for her

[@xessq1]

story #2 can you say A-10?

[@Not_a_T-Rex]

gun is ship

[@paulhuston9991]

This is America guys. FAFO! Promise that no one will like it but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I know that you know that I'm not telling the truth

[@quoriander]

I know that you know that you don't have any proof.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@quoriander Embrace the deception; learn how to bend.

[@carbonbeaker409]

@@henrypaleveda7760 Greetings incursus fan

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@carbonbeaker409 how goes the Sc arcade?

[@carbonbeaker409]

@@henrypaleveda7760 Still learning, as per usual!

[@IronWarrior_69]

Hey I know what you did🤫

[@AgroSquerril]

er..... ok.... just saying this for the record... it twas not I :) unless it was then well you know er maybe er something

[@merlinwizard1000]

196th, 11 January 2024

[@bobydigital2450]

1st one author is clearly an european Who else would give their power to a foreign power wilingly. Hfy isn't really FY at this point.

[@Motofanable]

Oy, oy! I am an european and I also feel uneasy by the story just like any sensible american

[@135Fenrir]

I think it is more a reflection of the fact that so many of us would be willing to do it at this point. Our options are being artificially limited to REALLY BAD and HORRENDOUS most of the time now.

[@larryjackson2779]

she going against trump lol

[@timcooper9039]

I hate the author of They Know. Just a little bit. Just for making me sympathize with xeno filth.

[@dwavenminer]

And even worse...a politician, the worst filth in the universe!

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm