Things Aro People Wish YOU Knew About Being Aromantic

The aromantic community is one of the most misunderstood communities in the LGBTQIA+ community. SO for Aromantic Awareness Week I thought why not ask some aromantic folks what they wish YOU knew about being aromantic. These are just some of the most common things that were said and I hope it helps bring some awareness to what aromantic people face. Be sure to leave a comment down below about what else you wish people knew about being aromantic!
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[@MissVindicat]

Please just believe it when someone tells you they are aromantic. Don’t start asking about bad relationships in the past, being autistic, whatever. Just believe them.

[@hanagara1907]

I was told once I can be neither aromantic nor a lesbian bc I dated a guy when I was 16 (not saying my age now but let's say a long time ago). But then, if you haven't, is just like "you just haven't tried it". Almost like people will find any excuse to invalidate...

[@MissVindicat]

@@hanagara1907 I'm sorry that happened! People are clueless.

[@christineburk4026]

Dating and feeling are two entirely different things, and people have a habit of assuming too much about something they know nothing of.

[@MissVindicat]

Casual remarks like ‘it’s only natural to want a relationship’ or ‘everyone wants love (or sex, for that matter), it’s only natural’ are painful. Not wanting those things is natural too.

[@SylvesterLazarus]

There was a quote in American Horror Story that always comes to my mind every time someone comes with the natural/not natural argument. Old woman was trying to tell a young gay man that gay people raising children is not natural, then the guy says, "Deodorant isn't natural either, but it's a public service."

[@sophiiiiaaa]

And perhaps providing and giving care / affection is common among mammals but at 0 moment relationships, sexual intercourse and anything anyway done by humans are purely natural. Those are all social constructs (which doesn't mean it's fake and doesn't affect people, quiet the contrary)

[@babyyoda7417]

I wish people knew that aromantic people are not necessarily gonna change their minds

[@Emilyemsemsie]

Same

[@farisakhtar4824]

Makes no sense, when we haven't decided anything.

[@hanagara1907]

A video about platonic breakups would be cool! I remember I had a HUGE fight with my BFF and told another friend about it and he laughed and said "sounds like you're breaking up with her" and like "...I kinda am...she's been my BFF for a lot of years and while we have reached this point we can't really come back from, she's still hella important to me"

[@brook.53]

I love learning about aromanticism/asexuality since my friend came out to me a few months ago. There’s nothing “different” about them, they’re still so sweet and kind and helpful and considerate and empathetic, them not having any romantic or sexual feelings towards anyone doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t make them a robot, it doesn’t make them less than, and it certainly doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions

[@camilahopper11]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!! Us Asexuals, Aromantics, Aroaces NEED more representation and people need to talk about us more! I cannot explain to you how appreciated I feel that you actually said "Lgbtq+" not just Lgbt. I feel like everyone who says Lgbt instead of LGBTQ+ or LGBTQIA+ (is what i use) only knows about lesbians, gay, trans and bi people because they are ACTUALLY represented. They are also really the only ones talked about. I hope more people can come across this and understand/recognize us. HAPPY AROMANTIC SPECTRUM AWARENESS WEEK!!!!

[@Emilyemsemsie]

As someone who is aromantic I couldn't agree more, there is not enough representation and that's definitely something that needs to change!

[@yongxi_]

I wish aroaces had more representation in the books, films etc cuz it's sooo sad there's really not enough content + If someone doesn't want romantic/sexual relationship it doesn't mean something is wrong with them Let everyone live as they want, let's respect each other 😔

[@christineburk4026]

Sometimes I think Elsa from Frozen may be aro, since there's no romantic interest to speak of, I don't think. It's kind of annoying that some just assume she is a lesbian just because there's no male love interest; just amatonormativity talking I think. Who says Elsa has to have romantic love to be happy? As the lyrics say, "I've always been so different, normal rules did not apply"; I kind of identify with her sometimes. And if she did have a love interest (whether it be male, female, nonbinary, gender fluid, or something else), I'd be just as happy for her, and admire her as I already do. Should any more sequels come out, I guess we'll know more. Only time will tell.

[@Orech-the-Nut]

Yes, I want video on friendship breakups! It is sooo painful and people keep dismissing me all the time when I am going through one. in our coupled world, where friendships are seen as far behind the romantic partnership - the first priority, is so easy to be left out as a friend. I had romantically partnered friends, who used to refuse my requests for time together repeatedly, because their romantic partner needed them allwas ‘more’. They expected I will be just fine with this, but it was so hurtful! I cared so much for them and I allways was there if they needed something. And suddenly I felt not worthy and as I just bother them. And after that someone who is married with kids comes and says: why you make such a big deal from a lost friendship? Worse things happen, don’t you know?! I wish people knew value of their aromantic friends, they can be the most caring friends you could ever meet in your life.

[@cassandraflannigan7489]

Happy aromantic spectrum awareness week 🍕🍦🌵🐸💚♠️🏹

[@hobbitbobbitt]

I've always kind of liked my robot brain and never considered it a negative. Actually I boast of it. That being said I can have emotional reactions to music, movies, books, art, but for other people it's purely intellectual.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

The assumption that every person needs/wants a romantic partner is almost as harmful to cishet people as it is to aromantics. It's deeply effed up to instill the message that people in and of themselves are not enough as well as that they only magically become enough when another human deems them worthy to partner with. Believing that your happiness is dependent on the opinions and behaviors of other people is a recipe for heartbreak and disappointment. Even if you want a romantic relationship, circumstances, proximity, values, priorities, and a gazillion other factors can make a romantic partnership impossible. Romantic relationships are also tenuous foundations on which to build things like families and homes and livelihoods because people lie and change and die and things. Yes,the erasure and discrimination of aromantics sucks but it honestly bothers me more because it's so illogical to start with!!

[@NagisaP]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@GattoCatto_]

I want people to know that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are different things. I could tell someone i'm asexual, and they would likely assume i'm aromantic as well. I'm aroace so it isn't too bad for me personally, but for someone who has romantic attraction, just not sexual, that assumption isn't really great

[@hadleysheffield5226]

Awesome video. I’m romance repulsed aro but love so many people so dearly. Love is my favorite emotion and I have so much of it with my family and friends. You can’t say I hate ice cream just because I don’t like mint chocolate chip, just like you can’t say I don’t experience love because I don’t have the romantic love.

[@Emilyemsemsie]

As an aromantic person here aswell that's a perfect analogy you've used there!

[@kaseyford1490]

Happy Aro Spectrum Awareness Week pals! It's my 1 year anniversary today! How cool to also be in Aro week 🏳️‍🌈💜💚

[@qwertykeyboard5901]

Allo's writing fanfiction: "X and Y character KISS!" Me: "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, but the Americans torpedo the RRS Athena during WW3. The Rat Republic's conscripted nuclear ocean liner/cruise ship sinks in 15 minutes off the coast of Cuba."

[@Löki_SB129]

Lmao. Makes NO sense, but same. Lol

[@angelcaru]

​@@Löki_SB129only one of them is nonsensical and it's not the one about WW3

[@BGBTech]

Kind of fun sometimes (as-in, annoying) if when one has a profile on a dating site, and then admits to being aro/ace, and people are like "but, then, why are you here?!" It is like, attraction or not, does not mean there are not other reasons to still be looking for someone... (Well, and in my case, it is not like being repelled by things either, but like, almost complete indifference...). Sometimes, I might try to explain my thoughts and similar, but if they don't really seem able to understand my perspective, or are willing to talk about any other subjects, then, implicitly, my answer for "what I am looking for" is "not them"... Then again, does seem kinda pointless sometimes, as it seems like there isn't really anyone on there I have much reason to talk to. Then again, I also have affective alexithymia, and I suspect in my case these may be interconnected in some way (though, unclear whether or not this is causal). Though, as odd as it may seem, it seems like part of what I am looking for, is someone who can see me for what I am, and is OK with it, not demanding that I try to pretend to be something different; and who is not seemingly terrorized by my interpretations of the world I seem to find myself existing within. But, also someone who also has an in-tact sense of ethics (but, ethics is a whole topic in itself), ...

[@NagisaP]

love the video!! thank you so much💖 and yes!! please make a video about platonic breakups! 🙏🏻🥺 I had so many of those in my life that I’m used to them but nobody ever talks about them or even cares unfortunately…😢

[@user-yv6ni1gq6g]

yes, I would like to see a video about breaking up a platonic/friendship relationship, please and thank you for all your videos

[@SamanthaHedone]

2:13 Amen. Being an aromantic who experiences sexual attraction doesn't mean I'm careless with other people's feelings. I lead with the fact that I'm aromantic. Protecting feelings (both mine and a potential partner) is more important than having my sexual desires met.

[@Löki_SB129]

Same. I've never been in a romantic relationship and I feel completely fine. I got curious sometimes but that's as far as that goes, tbh.

[@bdariamihaela]

7:02 Yes, please, as an aro person who went through her fair share of plstonic break-ups, each hurting more than the last I want so bad for people to aknawlege them more

[@ohthewhomanity]

Yep I want that friendship breakups video :)

[@amberrichards2778]

Great video! I love your content and I'm excited to see more Aro stuff!! It makes me feel so validated.

[@blazi64]

It's the first time I heard about "romantic libido", what is that?

[@beckheorshepls5397]

Yeah I'm confused too lol, libido is a very clinical term

[@laylascarlett2010]

I think it’s like, enjoying watching romantic movies/books and celebrating Valentine’s Day, even though they’re aromantic.

[@ands_t]

IT WAS A GREAT GREAT VIDEO THANKS

[@liamodonovan6610]

Iam an asexual aromantic love your intelligent videos you are awesome

[@wisdomrain1239]

The main thing for me is what we lack doesn’t make us any less human. We aren’t robots and have many emotions we still experience. The fact people think we can’t experience other attractions is wild. I hope eventually this is something that’s common knowledge

[@thepigeongenerator]

6:00 I do also feel like romantic relationships are put on a pedestal a lot. As the "strongest" or "most important" type of attraction/relationship. But I also have some relationship anarchy sprinkled through me, so that does impact my perspective.

[@kavlan453]

3:13 One more thing I would add about amatonormativity (or something just along the lines of it) is that it also creates the need for aros to feel like they have to defend themselves by asserting they have other forms of love, as if any love at all is necessary for worth or validity as a human person. Obviously close relationships of any kind can add a lot of happiness to our experiences, but I would argue that people have value as people because they are people. If someone didn’t feel “love” or really relate to the idea of it (as loveless aros do), they still should warrant the same treatment, respect, and empathy that anyone else does

[@missnaomi613]

Thank you for this. I'm still learning about LGBT+ identities other than my own. Blessings to all who see this! 🙏❤🏳‍🌈🏳‍⚧🟦

[@Milotriplea]

Please make the Video about platonic breakups, i'm kind of going trough something like this but nobody really understands me.

[@FoxGameCZ]

As someone who lost sa very close friend I remember trhe pain of losing her and I wish I knew how to deal with those feelings. I did got over it but it might help someone else or I might get into that situation again. Either way it would be helpful.

[@christineburk4026]

Also, bring aro/ace is NOT "emotional immaturity" or fear of getting hurt or pursuing happiness. Fear and lack of romantic interest are two entirely different things.

[@UpAndRunning-xz6er]

I'm 64 y.o. and am pretty sure this is not a phase.

[@khaos14]

Yes please for the platonic breakup video

[@kinny6823]

Something I think people should know is that just because a lot of aro people say that they’re happy the way they are or comfortable with their label doesn’t mean every aro person is the same. We can still feel lonely and disconnected, and some of that is to do with the amatonormativity the world instills and the romance repulsion some of us have. I myself am still learning to trust others and to not feel so much societal pressure to conform to allo norms

[@roundblueduck]

One thing I get a lot is "but how/why are you married?" and I keep having to explain that although no, I haven't ever fallen in love or felt romantic attracted to anyone, I do enjoy the company and commitment level of what allos associate with dating someone. And I do love my partner as a family member of mine. I don't know how else I'm even supposed to feel any differently, and I think I love him enough for this to be lasting over 10 years.

[@Cloud_Eats_IceCream]

I remember when you only had 300 subs, you have grown so much since then!

[@nykole1963]

Do people think we just sit there at funerals or when we have to put our pets down and go "oh well, it happened, and it's over now". Like...wtf. Why is romantic love still the only thing people think of immediately when the topic is brought up? Did no one watch Frozen? Disney WAS the biggest trailblazer when it came to societal ideologies and expectations. I guess everyone let it go?

[@Thecryingchild924]

I just got hit with the relatable bazooka 😂

[@tony_two]

Thank you for making this video! ❤

[@jomaq9233]

Is there even anything wrong with being “like a robot” anyway? Even as a man, where, with (understandably very positive) strides in letting men be emotionally expressive, not being super emotional could be considered by some as “toxic masculinity”

[@Richard-rd1ki]

Aromantic

[@jonawakens]

Is there any aromatic manga's worth checking out?

[@hanagara1907]

I can't recall specific names but I do remember people mentioning a few romantic Korean manhwa if you like those too. Just google it, that's all I did

[@cookiecat7759]

i def agree

[@thatautisticfangirl]

Another thing is that not all aromantic people don’t ever experience romantic attraction. There’s Demi, gray, ficto, etc.