Things Not To Say To Someone Who Uses A Wheelchair

BBC Three speaks to people who use wheelchairs about the things they hear.
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[@mayabutlikebetter2345]

On my first day of seventh grade I wheeled into the classroom to find my history teacher was also in a wheelchair. He looked at me and said “there is only room for one wheelchair in this classroom we must joist!”

[@erinmiller1433]

Thomas Hobbes I’d pay a dollar to see that.

[@randomliciousable]

Can that be a new Paralympic sport? Please!!

[@J.K.BlueCrown]

@Kirsty Mair and @Thomas Hobbs: While jousting with horses may be out, fencing recently (Rio 2016) became an official Paralympic sport. However, I'm not too sure I'd suggest jousting with a joist... A building's structual support system is somewhat essential if you want the building to remain standing! 😄 (No offense intended to anyone -- only having some lighthearted fun at Thomas's teacher's mix up with words.)

[@mwerkeller1872]

That sounds quite fun!

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

... I kinda heart your history teacher. I got sick in college and no one had a damn clue what was wrong aside from a benign bone cyst in my hip. I limped pretty bad most days and was using a cane by the time I graduated. My favorite professor was also disabled. He understood that I wasn’t faking my tremor to get out of a drawing assignment. I don’t know if I would have made it without him.

[@prettyhussain12]

I tell the little kids the batteries in my legs aren't working properly, once my little brother went to the shops and brought me batteries.❤

[@Tagizverycool]

Pretty Hussain that’s so nice!!!😂

[@lobo2518]

AWWWWWWWW :,) SO NICE 😭 tears of joy

[@megang2220]

THATS PRECIOUS and a wonderful way to explain it to little ones

[@sarasophie9912]

This should have way more likes! ❤️❤️

[@siljeborgan4531]

Pretty Hussain 😍

[@AbbyTaz]

"I got hit by a wheelchair" this made me cackle a lil bit 😆

[@theimperialfistsspacemarin3050]

Abby Taz my god what happens to that guy

[@UBF100]

I really laughed out loud

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

It is a very good point about not everyone in a wheelchair being paralyzed. People who see me move my legs either look completely shocked & think they have witnessed a miracle or give me dirty looks & think I am not disabled.

[@GeorgiaGeorgette]

This!

[@jamiegoode5215]

Sammy Ariel yes! More people need to know the percentage of wheelchair users who are paralysed...I can't remember exactly but it's smaller than most would assume.

[@LeBronya_James]

In the same place man but usually don't give me a dirty look. I remember when I was in school. I have to walk around for 10 minutes because I have to get exercise; then my class caught me and they were like "NO WAY! It's a miracle!" Then they asked how I can walk but be in a wheelchair. I smile when I experience this because their reactions are amazing. I don't get offended, I can understand that not everyone gets it.

[@AshleyMadisonsRight]

Sammy Ariel I am paralyzed and I hate getting a muscle spasm and people who see it are like "omg! You're gonna walk again!"

[@josiesc2887]

I’m genuinely curious, cuz I’m not sure I understand why you would be in a wheelchair if you’re not paralysed. No offence meant I’m just wondering.

[@cheesybagel3412]

I'm in a wheelchair because I've dysautonomia. It's only been 2 and a half years, and I'm currently a sophomore in high school, so I've to get around school differently than everyone else. Everyone thinks I'm in the special education class and pity me and it's honestly annoying and embarrassing. I'm glad I saw this video. A girl in my class came up and asked me if my legs worked. So I sadly shook my head, then I twitched my leg and gasped. I began kicking my legs and started excitedly chanting "I can feel them again, oh my God!" She had started freaking out, then I went still and quiet and said "Stupid, yes I can feel my fucking legs." Her reaction was PRICELESS. And my favourite joke that my older brother says to me all the time is "What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The wheelchair."

[@lifeonfire2390]

예욱 NO VEGETALS

[@oof-wx2xr]

bonniEX345 A N G E R Y

[@alicewilloughby4318]

When I first learned that "what's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?" joke, I got a talking-to from my parents about how insensetive it was and how I shouldn't use it.

[@sweetlimon]

I have dysautonomia too! I have POTS. Don’t use my wheelchair daily but it’s there for me on bad days and when I’m out and about! I always get nervous when I have to bring it out because I’m afraid people are judging me :,)

[@rosebea2980]

cheesy bagel I’m also a wheelchair user due to a form of Dysautonomia called POTS.

[@mysterywonder3863]

*What happened to you?* "I got hit by an airplane" -steven universe joke

[@KindredKeepsake]

Classic Amethyst. XD

[@Prologue18]

Mystery Wonder Ahem, **A airplane.

[@lifeonfire2390]

Livv O-O I got hit by a cat

[@lifeonfire2390]

And a dog

[@Tiny_Syren17]

Yay Steven universe

[@meowmix9537]

I was in a wheelchair for a number of years. I always loved the people who felt the need to speak to you in laymans terms and super loud because they thought you had a metal deficit. however the parking was always good 😄

[@lize8154]

Meow Mix i know right. And indeed they kind of assume that you have a mental limitation as wel. Most time they would talk to my mother or anyone else around me. Just assuming I woul'dnt understand. And than just shocked if I would reply.. 😐

[@johnclewis7]

Lize doing those things are always wrong.

[@johnclewis7]

Meow Mix doing those things are always wrong

[@CaeBae702]

Meow Mix man where do you live? The handicapped parking here in Vegas sucks!

[@vademarofxeroes8416]

Are you Professor X in a female body? (X-men joke)

[@ConfusedGirlButSmartDude]

What not to say to teenage mums/dads?

[@xtremeexau11x]

NoahLouiLife who's the dad?

[@RandomPerson-ml8ej]

NoahLouiLife were they (the children) an accident?

[@aliya6577]

PLEASE! My older sister got pregnant at 19 and ugh the bs she's had to put up with because of it is so infuriating

[@CaeBae702]

Aliya White see people are strange to me, if she is not asking them to raise a child then why do they care? And 19 is not like some super young naive teenage Mom. I'm sure made things harder for her butt that only makes you stronger, kind of overused saying but it's true

[@aliya6577]

I think because she is young people feel like she doesn't know what she's doing so even tho she doesn't ask for it, older people automatically give her parenting advice :/ there's definitely a stigma with teen parents so people jump to conclusions. But you're right my sis is very strong :)

[@KyuubiCatT]

When I was younger I remember there was this old man named George who was in a wheelchair and had only one leg at my apartment complex. He used to tell all us kids that he lost his leg because "an alligator took it". I wholeheartedly believed this for years but now that I'm I my 20s I think George most likely got tired of telling people what happened.

[@shawnzayn]

Things not to say to someone with an eating disorder would be great and necessary!

[@undercoverelf]

shawnzayn_ yes !!

[@angelwood7729]

shawnzayn_ true so true

[@lizzy-wb5ii]

Yes yes yes

[@zomgmadii]

"but you're so thin!!!" b r u h

[@smorevids]

I don't have an eating disorder myself but what really grinds my gears is that most people don't even consider counting obesity an eating disorder (when in many cases it is, and there is usually a reason for it). Not only super thin people have an eating disorder and not all thin people have one.

[@Stephanie102684]

I roll my eyes or shake my head at people that ask these questions seriously. Some people act like anyone in a wheelchair is completely useless. No! If they want help, they'll ask. People in wheelchairs are like anyone else.

[@iamthegame09]

It all stems from people's awkwardness or inability to make sense of a new situation. When you think about it we're taught from a very young age to go by the social rules of your "average" person. That way life become predictable and there's no need for questioning, hence save brain power. However, if we come across someone with a physical disability life becomes unpredictability and to safely navigate our way around that situation we need to ask, what seems to us, reasonable questions. Unfortunately, reasonable is not always the case.....

[@meowmix9537]

iamthegame09 it's just hard. It's like it's expected of you to justify yourself when you are in a chair. I understand peoples curiosity and inability to understand the circumstances but it gets old after a while. I wish it wee different.

[@CaeBae702]

Meow Mix I agree it does get very old after awhile. In the very beginning it was afraid to answer questions could both shy and nervous about it and I said okay and I didn't mind cuz I know people are curious but now it's like you said I wish people would just kinda sometimes learn manners. I don't mind when a kid got a question you can't blame them but when it does it it pisses me off.

[@vademarofxeroes8416]

I will roll you away.

[@qasemrimawi568]

So now it's not okay to offer help? Come on.

[@GeorgiaGeorgette]

Things I have learned since becoming a wheelchair user: 1) Everyone can see my tits. 2) I can see everyone's bits. 3) Arse cramp exists. 4) Using a chair which isn't mine feels as intimate as wearing someone else's underwear. 5) If anyone touches my chair without permission it feels like a violation. 6) People are either overly friendly or avoid me like the plague. 7) I now know who my real friends are. 8) My belly looks bigger in the chair from sitting down. 9) My double chin looks smaller in the chair from looking up. 10) I can wear any shoes I want!

[@isaacs8783]

NotMostGirls I think seeing everyone's junk is an up

[@sarahrussell6617]

NotMostGirls That about sums it up! I remember in my last year of high school I switched to a new school and I started off the first day trying to walk and I went to all my classes and everything was fine. But by the next day I needed my wheelchair. I went from the cool new girl from Portland to the girl in the wheelchair. I had been in the same town for my whole journey before then so it was new to me to see people's reactions to my wheelchair. I remember specifically that my lab partner would not sit next to me except on lab days after that. Then, about halfway through the year I cracked this badass joke (I can't remember what it was...) and made the whole class laugh. The next day on, he sat next to me everyday. It was like finding out that I was funny made him realize I'm more than just the "sick girl"

[@psychofish4932]

NotMostGirls I know what u mean by number 5 I have ocd and well I hate over people's germs and I just end up thinking I am gonna die cus the touch my chair with There nasty hands 😂

[@jennywaugh6535]

#relatable

[@marshmallow1969]

Lol

[@milanchris6821]

Things not to say to a person with chronic diseases. Please

[@georgevalentindatcu2217]

E.J are you ok, buddy ?

[@burntpieceoftoast4148]

Milan Chris Yes!

[@burntpieceoftoast4148]

I’m Pretty Weird Why not both?! *Mexican music*

[@Estertje93]

Oh that would be great. How many times have we heard things like, what if you tried not eating gluten? Or working out, or cbd oil ... Or people saying 'you look tired' everyyy dayyy even though they know you're ill. Great. Thanks.

[@chloedsouza8589]

yes yes yes chronic pain/illnesses

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

A few weeks ago I found a comment on a totally different video that started, "That woman in the wheelchair stood up :(. " .... the commenter truly felt she'd been lied to and this woman was trying to bilk the system and take everything she could while lying for sympathy. To say I was pissed is an understatement, but I tried my best to leave a reply that didn't convey quite the depth of my anger. As a part-time wheelchair user, part-time forearm crutch user (meaning I can walk with assistance), this sort of thing is offensive to me. So even if walking is so incredibly painful on any particular day that I'm at risk of blacking out from standing, even with support, I'm not allowed to use a wheelchair because I'm not paralyzed? I also get this with my other mode of getting around. If I'm indoors, on a clean, smooth flooring (aka, hardwood and some tiles), and I know it's safe, I can kick off my shoes and shuffle in my socks. It allows me to get around without putting my full weight on my worst leg. But people will argue with me that I'm walking. No, I'm not. I'm pretty sure I know what my own damn legs are and are not doing.

[@mindfucker8515]

thats called 'narcism'.

[@chocomoose394]

Yes, disabilities can fluctuate. I'm on one stick mostly, sometimes two and other times stuck indoors on all fours or bottom gliding ( wood/lino floors are great for this ! ). People are often not aware of fluctuating/ limited/ invisible mobility conditions. Same with disabled toilets - you can appear physically fine but require access to a personal sink to aid clean ups.

[@skylarm.7878]

I always get the condescending stares and whispers when people realize I can also walk. People ask "well if you can walk do you really need the wheelchair?" Umm.. why else would I be using it? For the fun of it? I also get the patronizing "compliments" a lot.

[@malejo3070]

Skylar M. Sameee

[@sweiland75]

Don't touch my wheelchair.

[@marshalmarshall2109]

*touch*

[@poopypants913]

IM TRIGGEREDDDDDDDDDD

[@brendamurphy8654]

Piss's me off, when strangers just start to push you, like you're completely helpless...UGH!!! 💪🏻♿️✌🏻

[@likeabunnie]

Brenda Bastas SERIOUSLY! IT'S SCARY! some lady came running at me once, yelling, "I'M GONNA PUSH YOU, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!" ... "I'M GONNA PUSH YOU!"... THAT'S A THREAT! (and it *was* scary, my chair doesn't even have handles, and I was afraid, and actually had to hurt my fingers in order to steer myself so I didn't ram into a wall, or go over a big drop off curb, while she "helped" (without my consent, of course)... I don't understand how that makes sense to do to someone under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE! Maybe if I was just, like... Sitting in the middle of traffic, sitting in my chair... I guess that could make sense in a situation, if someone were in immediate danger or something... Even if I saw someone in a chair in the middle of traffic, I would at least try and talk to them or communicate with them before touching them or their chair. I never thought I had that much insight about how to interact with people using mobility aids (I never thought it wasn't obvious that you should just interact with people as people... Some might use a wheelchair, or crutches, or braces, or act differently, but the MAIN FOCUS in interacting with people [whatever the rest of the phrase is... "people" in wheelchairs or "people" who, idk, like to wear the color orange... Idk why someone's mobility would be the primary thing we see about that person, cause that's literally just ONE THING about that person! Maybe I'm biased, since I semi grew up around wheelchair culture, only in the sense that I saw and interacted with other kids who had various "exceptional" ways of interacting with the world (I've only recently become a part time wheelchair user, I was around children of various abilities because one of my younger brothers has special needs, so even though he's perfectly able bodied, he's had a number of classmates/peers at his school who used various types of wheelchairs, braces, etc for mobility... His peers also had cognitive challenges, yet I ALWAYS understood that a person's wheelchair is essentially to be treated as part of their personal "bubble", which I guess is why I'm SO TAKEN ABACK BY PEOPLE EVER TOUCHING SOMEONE'S WHEELCHAIR, MUCH LESS MOVING THEM WITHOUT EXPLICTLY ASKING! It would be like if a little kid were "in the way" or was trying to get from one place to another, it would be weird and creepy, as well as potentially dangerous, for a stranger to just pick up the small child and move them without explaining what was happening or just asking the kid to move, etc... And I don't mean to imply that wheelchair users are like children, it just was the most obvious parallel that came to mind, and we generally accept that even fairly young kids have some personal autonomy (arguably more than adults tend to respect, but that's an entirely different topic), so if someone just moved another person because they are small enough that it's easy for that person to do, it would still be like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"... maybe the better analogy would be if someone were to just move someone around because they were smaller and lighter, idk, it's not a great analogy, I guess I'm just trying to find ways to explain to people who don't get it, and it's hard for me, because I genuinely don't understand how people can honestly be well intentioned and yet so violating At the end of the day, I guess the scary thing is that the lady DIDN'T let me decline her help, nor did she really even allow me to be heard at all, I was simply the "disabled girl in a wheelchair" who was there as a living prop for her to run over to and tell her story about how seeing me "made her realize how much worse things could be", and "inspired her to help make my day". Truthfully, it didn't matter what I had to say, because she wasn't letting me speak. I guess that's the thing that's so violating about it, because I don't know what I could have done to better educate her, or teach her a better way to channel her good intentions... Or even to have prevented her from pushing me, because she honestly wasn't asking, she just did it and wouldn't stop, and I honestly came very close to being injured, potentially very severely, due to her actions. Not only did I nearly go over a big drop off curb (several inches down, the sidewalk was very narrow there due to construction), but there was traffic right next to the sidewalk. I keep feeling ashamed for not knowing how to handle the situation better, even though I know it's not the responsibility of me as a wheelchair user to be an ambassador to educate others, I just grew up in that sort of role, and tend to feel that when there's better understanding, people generally are more accepting and attempt to be aware and make better choices about their interactions in the future. Ideally, anyways. I guess I wondering if anyone else has suggestions on what I could or should have done in that situation? Does that sort of thing happen to others frequently? I admit that maybe I "allowed" myself to be more of a people pleaser than nessecary, I'm still learning to assert my own personal boundries (in general, as I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse), so I've learned that not making a scene or upsetting someone who's in a physically dominate role when I'm fearful or concerned for my safety tends to be the safest response. I didn't consider until now that I could have stopped and put the brakes on when the woman began running towards me, though it is definately counterintuitive to think of, since I wanted to get away from her.... Once she had begun pushing my chair, it would have been much more dangerous to try to put the breaks on while moving. I guess I could have tried to turn myself the other direction, or yell no enough times to make a scene? I really don't know if any of those are better options. The woman would have pushed me to the thin scary section of curb before anyone else could have intervened, and that was my main focus, I wanted her to calm down before we got to it, I hoped she would leave me alone prior to that, so thought I let her "help" for a few seconds that she would let me go easily... Idk. I feel stupid over the whole thing. I honestly appriciated that several others that day had ASKED ME if I would like some help, because it was a parking garage and lots of steep ramps etc (of course the area the lady insisted on pushing me was a nice straight section of flat on the way to the parking garage, and I was actually enjoying that section and the freedom of being able to do it myself and not worry about passing out like I would if I was standing etc)... It was a big difference when people asked if I would like a push and I politely declined (I was trying to build up my arms hehe, plus it was just nice to be able to do it myself, I was proud of myself), vs just having someone scream and push me. Idk. Any advice? I'm sure I handled it wrong, I'm just not sure what better options there were? (Genuinely curious to see if anyone has better insight... Thanks!)

[@jennoscura2381]

Brenda Bastas No shit! The other day I got on the bus and stopped to put my bus pass in the machine. Out of nowhere my chair starts moving. A guy starting pushing me without warning. I was grabbing on to stuff and saying "no no no no don't push me" He finally stopped pushing me after a bit when I said "please stop pushing me". Maybe I need to be louder and more aggressive.

[@sheri3979]

Things not to say to someone with dyslexia I am so over answering questions like "does that mean you can't read?"

[@speckie1309]

_Yes definitely need that_

[@r_travel4306]

Toast Ghost omg plsssss

[@hamstergirl7969]

Sheri are you Bella Thorne? SORRY I HAD TO IM SUBSCRIBED TO WESTON KOURY PLEASE DONT GET OFFENDED AHH IM SORRY

[@mercedesmairs7688]

Me too

[@silverandexact]

They have a dyslexia one now!

[@bearboi2951]

my cousin was in a wheelchair after breaking her legs and fracturing a bone near her hip in a wrestling match. we went to mcdonalds for lunch and parked in the handicapped spot, as you do. our sticker was in the lower corner of the window, so it was a bit hard to see unless you pointed it out. as soon as we got out, a worker came outside and told us to move or we'd get a ticket. my mom silently got out of the car, opened the backseat door to show my cousin, clad in three casts and a romper, singing to the princess and the frog soundtrack. the worker apologized but it's always funny to remember how he stammered through the dead eye contact my cousin was giving him.

[@HighTen_Melanie]

No I don't know your brother's girlfriends sisters friend because she's also in a chair.. It's NOT a club!!!! Edit: Thanks for all the loads of likes.

[@indiajessierocks]

This is so annoying! I was once seriously asked if I knew Stephen Hawking. 😂

[@punky19761]

indiajessierocks 😂🤣

[@Shaxigaming]

You're not in the club lol?

[@HighTen_Melanie]

Shaxi Lol 😂

[@ainuralex]

That awkward moment when you actually do know the person

[@mirwurscht7515]

I have worked with people with different disabilities for some time now, and lots of times, when I tell other people about my job they say stuff like "oh thats so good, you are such a good person, the world needs people like you" and I always think (and sometimes say...) well, the world needs tax collectors, too, but no one tells them, they are such good persons... Don't get me wrong, if someone has interrest in my job and the people I work with, I am more than happy to tell them about it, since I love my job, but I surely am far from a saint, just because I do what I do for a living...

[@sarahrussell6617]

Mir Wurscht THIS! ^^ I have a disability. Technically an "invisible" disability, though it's not so invisible when I need all of my equipment, including my wheelchair. When I don't need my wheelchair and I go out with my puppy who I'm training to be a service dog I either get people telling me I'm such a great person for training a service dog for "the blind people" (that's always the assumption even though there's more than just seeing-eye dogs...) or I get people telling me I'm faking my disability to bring my dog when I pick up my tacos or something? Honestly they make no sense when they do the latter, like why would I put all that time and money into it just to trick people...? Anyway, I think it shows something about our society that we think that people who work with disabled people or do other sorts of "charity" type things are amazing people. Like yes, they are. But it should just be normal to be involved in those sorts of things. There's all sorts of people in the world and in every community that need love and compassion and help. It shouldn't be a rare occurrence. You know? Idk, ramble over.

[@isaacs8783]

Sarah Russell can I ask what your disability is?

[@MoonyAJ]

Absolutely. Sure, support workers for people with mobility problems are helping, contributing, offering something valuable to society etc; but so are librarians, pharmacists, civil engineers, tree surgeons etc. I suppose it's based in part on the spurious logic that has people declaring that nurses are "angels" - ask people to do an important and demanding caring job for fairly low pay and then reward them by making them out to be saints? Overdoing the praise, as if people are saints merely for choosing to be support worker for disabled people, is faintly insulting, as it's always to me seemed based on two dubious assumptions: 1) that working to support a disabled person is terribly awful and really rather soul-destroying, and therefore the worker deserves extravagant commendation for such acts of self-sacrifice, and 2) that "the disabled" are poor, unfortunate individuals whose tragic lives would be utterly ruined were it not for your kind administrations. It's such a dismissive and patronising attitude.

[@burntpieceoftoast4148]

Mir Wurscht Yes!

[@donnaphilben6325]

Some people don't speak direclty to a person in a wheelchair...for example in a restaurant, the waitress will say to the wheelchair users companion "what would he/she like?"

[@carryzelgert6977]

Does everyone with a disability get the "you are so brave!"? Like i am 18 years and live with a chronicle illness and i always hear that. Just cause i'm not sitting here crying all day doesn't mean i am brave i am still basically a chicken.

[@malejo3070]

Panda Senpai I get this everytime, I feel you

[@cazzabojangles]

Oh absolutely, I have arthritis and walk with a cane some days and the amount of older women who come and tell me that I was brave on the bus was laughable, especially the ones who *also* used some kind of mobility aid. Weridly enough, at university, it's normal at this point, as the whole campus is wheelchair accessible with about twenty or so using them, another twenty with sticks or mobility aids of some kind and no one bats an eyelid. I'm guessing it's because we're young, and they don't except us to be disabled Imao

[@scifirocks]

This so so accurate, I only had to use a wheelchair for a few weeks as a child but I remember loads of these. It was the 90s, so there wasn't a lot of adjustments- I wasn't allowed to go to school as the classroom was upstairs and my mum had to leave me outside shops like a dog!

[@gemmal2271]

oh yes being left outside while your sister and mother buy stuff because your wheelchair will take up too much stuff. Not to mention all the people going in and out of the shop asking why are you outside? are you okay?

[@tarananajaika]

Other idiotic questions and things you hear a lot: - Oh, you poor thing. So pretty and in a wheelchair? *pat* - I've been in a wheelchair for three months. I know exactly how you feel. - Just be optimistic and happy for you always have a seat with you. - Isn't there something you could do about it? - Are you allowed to drink? Are you allowed to drive intoxicated? - Aren't we all a little disabled? - Oh, don't worry. Just stay seated. - Is that your caregiver? - Do you sleep in your wheelchair? - Do you know X? He's also in a wheelchair. And the most annoying one with security or else: - There is a wheelchair. Make space. - Where does the wheelchair want to go?

[@thewhovian2354]

tarananajaika it's extremely aggravating and stupid I hate it I was with this lady and she was going on telling me about her friends daughter she told me she was paralyzed and needed help for breathing and such I was alright with it at first but she started talking about how she's going to go to college by herself and she kept saying things along the lines of "isn't it crazy that they are letting her go" "I don't think it's so safe" or "I just feel like she should have someone with her you know? I mean she is not exactly normal" and that just disgusted me I told her no it's not weird or strange or crazy I left it at that but I wish I told her how wrong and hurtful she was being ok I'm sorry this is such a rant Also I've made it my goal that if anyone pity's me with a pat I'm going to pat them back saying the same thing for example " oh you poor thing" pat MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ok I'll stop now

[@cappuccinomunchkin7281]

THE 9TH ONE WAS SO TRUEEEEEEEEE!!!! SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME

[@TZISCHO]

Things not to say to people with depression please!

[@TZISCHO]

yes

[@noahluongo3620]

Having depression doesn't make you like Eeyore all the time, comments like this are exactly why we need a video like that.

[@TZISCHO]

guess it's a troll.

[@TZISCHO]

I have it too. And would love to see the video. Depression can be different from person to person

[@TZISCHO]

I know, that's why I suggested the video. I'm depressed, i didn't say sometimes I cry. Don't assume things you don't know

[@keltiqrennee]

you know what I hate is when I go freaking grocery shopping... I'm in a manual wheelchair... so pushing the cart with one hand and the chair with the other... and you get those looks from people and you get... wow ... you're really doing it... you're such an inspiration... good for you ...or wow she's a active lady...would you say that to a walkie who's pushing a cart...would you say that to a walkie... NO... then don't say it to somebody who's disabled... it's rude...

[@katefernoliver]

I get the," Oh my god you can walk!" I'm in a chair because I've got joint issues and a heart problem. My legs still work! Just because someone's in a wheelchair doesn't mean they're paralyzed. There are many many many more reasons people are in chairs.

[@NancyhatesPi]

i have a friend in a wheelchair who is a grown adult and capable as all hell and she is constantly pissed off by people coming up to her when shes shopping alone and asking if she's ok. she's literally just browsing and people assume she needs some sort of help? and she's not hesitant to ask for help when she needs it but damn its infantilising. i remember once we were shopping together and I came up to her to show her something i'd found and there was an old lady talking to her and when she saw me she said 'oh good youve got someone with you' and it was just bananas insulting

[@Wolskyyy]

Bea Blackwell they’re just trying to be nice

[@Avarioth]

Condescending people, so you can feel like you're a good person is not nice. You have to assume that the person is so ashamed of themselves or something, that they wouldn't ASK for help if they needed it. That's generally what's the most insulting, I think. Other people thinking it's probably shameful and embarrassing to them, cause... it wasn't until they MADE it that way.

[@user-cj8tb7fy6t]

calm people are trying to be nice or helpful or smthng

[@jennoscura2381]

nonhhh G yes I know people just trying to be helpful. But it's frustrating because people assume we need help. It's even worse when people offer help without asking. Like pushing on my wheelchair out of the blue. DO NOT ever do that. Ask us first.

[@mindfucker8515]

Most people who ask seem to mean well. I don't mind people asking if they can help. I have a lifetime of a shitty father who never believed I was ill, believed i was exaggerating etc. ISTJS often think that I hate them.

[@badvibesonly3526]

The math teacher at my school is in a wheelchair, and he always jokes about it. He threatened to run over a girl for sleeping in class, and told her that she'd have tire marks all over her face.

[@coburgly4189]

People tap him on his head?!?! What in Merlin's name is wrong with people?

[@cbowd]

people will pat you like a dog if you use a wheelchair :) it's crazy

[@coburgly4189]

cbowd - That's....That's...That's absolutely infuriating! Honestly, again, I question the level of manners, kindness and sanity that humans seem not to possess.

[@freckledandred]

"What have you done?" "I was born." Omg story of my life

[@katherine6574]

I'm a tetraplegic and I'm in a wheelchair Some of these questions are not that bad. People ask out of interest and I like that they ask because that's how you learn about different disabilities and people shouldn't be scared of asking us anything. It's better to be honest and inform people than knowing they're clueless. I can't expect everyone to know about wheelchair users. Like I didn't know before my accident. And wish I did know.

[@isaacs8783]

Katherine it's probably the way they ask it is frustrating. Wheelchair users tend to be talked down to, as you know. Is tetraplegic loss of movement in two limbs? I'm not sure :p

[@ecologist_to_be]

@@isaacs8783 4 limbs

[@Ankko]

" i got hit by a wheelchair " LEGEND

[@swaggermcswaggerton4234]

What about things deaf people are tired of hearing? (is that mean)

[@Namedmemories87]

SJ Headon2004 I'm going to hell with you for laughing

[@TheKandigirl12]

I actually have hearing loss and this video would be legit the best thing ever.

[@TheKandigirl12]

Its also really funny but I still seriously want this video, even if its ironic as fuck.

[@clarissacuellar1047]

It's not mean at all. it's actually a really good video idea.

[@TheKandigirl12]

YESS! I feel like this comment needs more likes so they can notice it T_T I like really need this lol

[@daniidougal473]

I once had a taxi driver look right past me, and said to my boyfriend "can she walk or do I need to lower the ramp?" like I couldn't answer that question, he didn't restrain my chair so my boyfriend had to figure it out, then he charged us an extra fiver (usually a four pound journey) "because of the chair"

[@KindredKeepsake]

That's a jerk move. e_e

[@ghostbusterguy20011]

Danii Dougal how is the taxi driver supposed to know if he needs to lower the lift or not he probably thought he was being nice I mean he could have just saw you and kept right on driving he didn't have to give you a ride

[@alliem8700]

He Bro the point is that the driver should ask the wheelchair user, not whoever they're with.

[@ghostbusterguy20011]

Allie ML well ok then

[@dddm117]

i love these videos! but its kinda hard to understand the english accent because im from europe. subtitles would be great :)

[@ronb7939]

ddd m that accent comes from Europe....

[@serendipity061978]

ddd m ???

[@mewtje3095]

Boring-ass german here. I understand them just fine,though. Watch some british series :) Improves it a lot.

[@clairelouise3591]

Regardless of how clear the accent was, I would have thought a big channel like BBC would have subtitles anyway available, especially when some of the variations of this they've done some of the people have speech impediments

[@littleolliebenjy]

It'd be useful to have some captions for people who are hard of hearing as well.

[@mjturner6291]

Thank you so much for addressing the issue of ambulant wheelchair users. I actually fell afraid to stand up or of my chair to reach something on a high shelf or go up the stairs to sit in a decent seat in the cinema because of the status and questions and harassment I get. You saw me walk about 4 steps, that does not give you the right to tell me I'm taking and don't need the chair!

[@loudmarble8751]

Not to say to people with OCD, maybe? Great video

[@isaacs8783]

Taylor Rule like *actual* OCD? Fantastic idea!

[@kimchiia9025]

Amber Shoffren Calm down ofc they meant real OCD.

[@dm7626]

And not just the ‘clean’ ocd, like seriously there are other types 😅

[@mwerkeller1872]

Yes, please.

[@cappuccinomunchkin7281]

what is a ocd?

[@debugmobilityproducts5756]

How about, please don't feel free to tell me all about your medical problems, in detail, just because I'm in a chair.

[@brie3679]

I knew this guy who was in a wheelchair. I actually called him my uncle. He was super good to me and my brother. Anyways, he'd always tell us these stories about interactions he had with people. One time he had gotten himself on the bus, and was headed to the store when this woman started the usual "I'm acting like I'm being nice, but really I'm being nosy and clearly pity you" sort of questioning. She finally asked not "what happened", or "how did it happen", but she flat out asked "So, what's wrong with you", and fed up, he responded "Oh, I broke my spine on purpose so I could have people pester me about my life story, and all my medical history, every time I left the house. I didn't feel like enough people already pitied me". Who just starts acting all pitying towards someone they don't know, and asking such personal life and medical questions? Like..all this guy was doing was getting on the bus, to go to the store. Just because it took him a little extra time to get on, and he didn't do it in the same way she does, doesn't invite her to see him as some spectacle, and intrude. He laughed so hard as he recounted the look on her face, and she instantly shut up, then got off soon after. This guy was a badass. He'd get road rage, and get yelled at by the cops for not using the sidewalk. One time this cop said "Someone's gonna hit you, man!", and he responded "You're right.. I wouldn't want to end up paralyzed for the rest of my life".😂 He had such an awesome sense of humor.

[@agerven]

My wife is in a wheelchair, sometimes. And when she gets up and steps out, depending on the location you are at you can feel the atmosphere change. Sometimes I imagine a dramatic cinematic music in the background, time seems to stop, but then they see here brace and the way she walks and everything turns to normal again.

[@sophia-sm2ne]

plz do a things not to say to people with anxiety (phobias, disorders etc..)

[@isaacs8783]

Sophia Harvey yup yup yup

[@peanutthenut1920]

^^^^

[@alyssa9144]

PLEASE

[@---nobody---]

Yassss!!

[@rayneblackwater6778]

well, everyone had phobias for the most part, but yeah people with actual illness level anxiety and depression need their own video. that'd be really nice to see

[@JohnTheDoctor]

Do a flip

[@alancurran5306]

John Rambo that's what I thought when I first saw this video

[@lynzioliver-musto4718]

_,¡__ (•_•) __¡_, (How about I do two, lol)

[@stephs6328]

😂😂

[@agerven]

@John Rambo: Good. People with disabilties like a challenge, though not all the time. And they may well surprise you. I have seen someone in a wheelchair doing a salto, yes!

[@natsbubbast781]

LOL

[@Gabistruwwelliese]

I really like this BBC series because I'm learning so much from people with different conditions and what is helpful and not helpful for them.

[@lexirey430]

I would love a "Things Not to Say to Amputees!" I can probably guess everything that would be on it, but I'd enjoy hearing people's opinions on the topic.

[@smiles5943]

The girl in the hat has such nice makeup

[@kellyy.mariee]

things not to say to short people!!!!!! PLEASE

[@joeldope98thrashed52]

Kitty Kel or Tall People

[@benditlikebendtnar6210]

Kitty Kel how's the weather down there

[@KindredKeepsake]

I sure hope so. ♥ I'm not short, but it's a topic that deserves it's own video. I already know a few off the top of my head, and not all of them are puns. "You are so cute/adorable/etc." "I could pick you up." "Can I pick you up?" "Do you need help reaching that?" "How old are you?" "You look like a kid." "They are always hiring stand-in elves." "Do you have a tall partner?"

[@kellyy.mariee]

BendItLikeBendtnar )::

[@kellyy.mariee]

7BlackSheep yess

[@secretred6432]

I wrote on a peice of paper :DONT ASK:and taped it to the back of my wheelchair

[@julianicpon]

Secret Red now you got to hope they can read

[@mckennan8029]

Please do things not to say to someone with PTSD!

[@kaitlynbone7505]

Kenna R. Yes!!

[@vademarofxeroes8416]

Make loud noises and put on war films?

[@mckennan8029]

Vademar of Xeroes Um PTSD isn't just something that war veterans suffer from. Childhood sex abuse survivors can suffer from it, domestic violence survivors, kidnap survivors, rape survivors, the list goes on and on. Also triggers aren't just sights and sounds. And the sights don't always have to pertain to exactly what happened, such as a war video. It can be random things you don't even realize could trigger you. Maybe it's a certain smell, maybe your just walking around the grocery store and some random person, you don't even know, glances at you and that suddenly sends you into a full blown panic attack because they reminded you of a person who could have been there when the traumatic even happened. Maybe someone touches you arm a certain way and it brings you back to what happened in the past because maybe someone touched your arm like that when the event happened. PTSD is different for many of the people who suffer from it. For example I have CPTSD (complex/compound post traumatic stress disorder) which means I had multiple different events happen so I have a wider variety of triggers. Educate yourself before making and ignorant comment.

[@Chloe-im9rc]

Vademar of Xeroes not all people with PTSD are veterans.

[@mandypandy111ify]

Kenna R. I would LOVE to see that!!

[@weespookyme]

I've be in a chair all my life and the most annoying thing is when people come up to me and pat me on the head or just think its okay to touch me! When I was wee people would come up and play with my hair! :/ So annoying

[@sarahrussell6617]

I scared the crap out of this old lady at a local drugstore. I got up to stretch my legs for a moment and she yelled "Oh, Jesus!" And knocked a rack over 😂😂😂 Usually I get "Oh...you can walk. What happened?" instead of people freaking out.

[@ElizabethHall0]

These “not to say clips “are utterly fab . The production team need a big thumbs up 👍 Love it .

[@nikkimae813]

Any customers that come into my work if they need help with anything because they are in a wheelchair, they will ask me! You don't need to follow people in a wheelchair around and offer help. They are just as independent as an able bodied person and same with anyone other customers, they will ask!! "Is your partner in a wheelchair?". that's like asking me if my husband is ginger on the basis that I'm ginger lol. Dumb people

[@20Unbelievable06]

exactly! ask the way you would ask an able bodied, cause I know people in shops sometimes have to ask all customers. if we need more help, we'll ask for it. so glad to hear there is someone in this world that understands!

[@Kaalyn_HOW]

I could add so many things to this. But I actually can understand where many come from when they express how hard it must be or that I encourage them. It's not that being in a wheelchair is hard, but the condition that got me here is. It's excruciatingly painful, exhausting and I don't get to do most things I want to bc the world isn't accessible to me. It can be hard to keep your spirits up, so when I know someone isn't just being ignorant/dismissive, I can appreciate the sentiment. This is hard and being treated as lesser everywhere I go is tough. Being acknowledged for that, when it's coming from a good place, doesn't bother me. We spend so much time trying to get people to understand what we're up against and how hard inaccessibility / chronic illness is, but get upset when someone validates that this is a hard life at times and that regaining resilient through it is commendable. I don't feel too right about that approach.

[@chloeprout6108]

I have a friend who is on weelchair and one time i said to him : "Come on you never stand to kiss me when you tell me hello"He laugh so hard.. ^^ (yes we do kiss when we said hello im french..)

[@mitzypinks1338]

My mum is in a wheelchair with progressive MS and God I can relate to a lot of this on her behalf! The one that really infuriates me is people asking the pusher of the wheelchair or the person (usually my Dad) with my mum questions about my mum or on behalf of my mum. She can talk for herself and she likes it if you look at her too if you’re speaking to her ! Even also asking questions directed at my mum to the other person to reply! We actually got a lower house valuation when the wheelchair and my Mum were at home. When we took all the disabled equipment out we got a higher valuation. It’s tragic and infuriating, but sadly part of our society.

[@sayan9566]

i love this series so much! keep it up

[@user-wb9un5qx7w]

Can we make suggestions for future videos? I would love to see a video on 'What not to say to someone with Tourette's Syndrome'. I have TS and there are sooooo many misconceptions about it so it'd be great to clear those up.

[@isaacs8783]

Leila N yes yes yes. I have a tic disorder too ( I'm due to be diagnosed in June) and people at school know about the tics so they'll come up in my face and go 'do one of your twitches!'. Sometimes people at school imitate a person with TS and they they'll rin into me and trigger my tics (I have echoalia and echoprexia) then walk away all embarrassed. Tics can be a pain.

[@mwerkeller1872]

I have tics too, but I don't know if I have tourettes or not. My siblings(some of the only people I get to see) imitate my tics sometimes, question them, or "make fun" of them in a way. My parents act like nothing happened, which makes me very happy because they don't look at me weird (most of the time) and make me thing I have something wrong with me.

[@lifeonfire2390]

Toilet

[@Ann-ct9ek]

“Where am i gonna go when you have a go?”😂

[@shelly-1367]

I'm glad these "things not to say to.." videos are made so people know that some questions are inappropriate to ask and also showing people that people who are handicapped, have disabilities or conditions live normal lives and not to feel sorry for them and not treat them differently. It's good that these videos bring awareness to these things. 👍🏻

[@alecwinner]

"Oh I'm so sorry" That one is the WORST!

[@lize8154]

Alec For me it's Oooh I can imagine how that must feel like..... I HATE THAT ONE.. Because well you can't imagine... Be happy about that🙄

[@9Godslayer]

@Lize "Joe, I've been in a wheelchair for 45 minutes and I see how tough it is"

[@malejo3070]

Oh when I wanna give up I think of you, your problem is waayyyy worse. Oh well thankss sis

[@HeyItsKatieRose]

I've been waiting for this 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@Gothmummi]

my absolute favourite: (whilst pregnant with baby no.3) "oh, did you do IVF?" "No. I had sex." also had a look of absolute shock and "they're ALL YOURS?!" now I have 4, and the "Aww, well I think you're doing really well." Um...Cheers? not sure why I needed that reassurance as I'm quite confident I'm "doing quite well" by the achievements of my children. but thanks. But this is the most common, and asked like this too. "what have you been up to?!/So what you in the wheelchair for then?" (they think if they're all matey it entitles an answer.

[@cactalguy266]

Gothmummi I know it's weird to ask but do you actually feel it?

[@gemmal2271]

Not everyone in a bloody wheelchair is paralyzed!

[@Drehgab]

One of the best ones yet!

[@thebige8428]

"How fast can it go?"

[@mindfucker8515]

I like that one!

[@heywassuppp6107]

Owe I get these constantly especially the ”how do you go to the bathroom"XD

[@AbsolutelyRuwaydah]

I love this series thank you BBC!

[@killianb776]

This video made me smile, I hear stuff like that alot

[@ruthrose2212]

I would never ask a person in a wheelchair any of these questions. I have a friend in a wheelchair. If they want to tell me why they are in the chair, that's fine. But I dont ask. It's rude.

[@iescapedtheasylum2015]

IDEAS 1. People who are adopted are tired of hearing.. 2. Dyslexia.. 3. Broken bones 4. Police officers? 5. Asexual people. 6. Pansexual people ect

[@freyjascott3383]

4:43 THANK YOU FOR CLEARING THAT UP FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!

[@purplemister5974]

My little brother got an injury and had to use a chair for a while, but he could still walk, so it was always fun to see peoples' reactions when he stood up. Also: props to the people at Sea World for their amazing treatment!

[@zisforzoo16]

"Does it have a horn" I literally burst out laughing, who asks that???

[@kezia-rosejohnston4355]

How about things people with chronic illness are tired of hearing? I know it's a broad category but I've found a lot of similarities there between me and other chronically ill people

[@tallulahperkins1798]

Yes things not to say to people with OCD would be great! I really enjoy hear videos.

[@TheWheelsBlog]

Loved all of these!

[@juliarci8437]

In a trip to disney my brother got very sick, so he had to move arround in a weelchair. Best part, we had the Free and fast way to the games!!

[@prettyhussain12]

Someone has once came up to and had said 'you don't even look disabled' NO REALLY!? I didn't know you had to look 'disabled' to be in a wheelchair. 😒

a few people told me "oh you're not even disabled you're normal" while comparing me to people with more severe physical disabilities. wow okay. the audacity smh

[@HighTen_Melanie]

I’d reply. “No? And you don’t look stupid.” 😉

[@mindfucker8515]

It would be irresistable to say back "you neither, want a chair too?"

[@mwerkeller1872]

☀️ Ｓｕｎｎｙ Ｄａｙｓ ☀️ I love that.

[@mwerkeller1872]

People will literally do it to anyone disabled, it's crazy. They even do it with blind people, like really?? A blind person has to *look* blind??

[@anastasiabuckly7440]

I can't stop watching these videos!!

[@clookaclaaka8007]

I was briefly paralyzed (I have FND), and this was SO infuriating. I only had to deal with it for about a month and a half, and it was really eye opening to see how people with disabilities are treated in public.

[@billlasseter7446]

I'm in a wheelchair because I need new knees. I can get up in a walker but not travel very far. I actually fell several months back and bent my walker. It's very frustrating for me because five years ago I was able to run up and down ladders even after surviving a heart attack. When I was able-bodied, I never hesitated to ask a disabled person if they needed help. I've found that there are a lot of wonderful people out there who do the same for me. Karma? ^_^

[@oliviamiller-davis4667]

surely anybody at her wedding would know who she was marrying though? so why would they think she was marrying her brother? 😂

[@kellyperks-bevington3697]

Haha, just reading some of these comments. They cut the clip down a little, but we got married in a chapel just off a residential estate.. it was the residents that kept saying congratulations to me and my brother! Also, at the hotel reception the bar man asked for my brothers credit card so my brother could "buy his wife a drink". Strange world haha.

[@oliviamiller-davis4667]

Ohh okay, that makes more sense then 😂 congratulations btw! (idk how long ago you got married, but still)

[@beckbabej]

Olivia Miller-Davis, "congratulations" is for the groom, you say "best wishes" to the bride.

[@just-jess8760]

These videos are so cool! I have Pulmonary Hypertension and people ask me dumb questions too! It would be cool to see a video about PH and what not to ask!

[@systemiclizard3101]

I got my chair just this morning. I thought today would be a great day to watch this again.

[@Mehk]

What about when people say "Slow down speedy!" I've heard at least three people say this to wheelchair users and it boils my blood every time.

[@marleysidhu2273]

I got hit by a wheelchair

[@fAlexandra_]

😂😂😂

[@anjilou1027]

pmsl! I love this video, found it by accident and I am glad I did! I haven't had much of these questions as people who see me in my chair know why I am in one but this video has really made me smile and think of some witty come backs to the questions, just incase :) thank you for this video :)

[@Lil-Dragon]

I've had a few of these and in university will probably get them again. Most importantly shrug off but when people ask to use my chair I get a bit ticked off because I need and it's not a toy. The other thing I once got is someone I knew was surprised when I swore saying 'I didn't think wheelchair users swore' and I was like 'Mate I'm bloody human just because I'm in a chair doesn't mean I can't swear' but I completely agree with how they reacted to the questions I would do the same. Just because some people are in wheelchairs you shouldn't pry into their life that we were still human.

[@mjturner6291]

And no we will not hate or chairs! They are not the problem, they are our freedom and way of overcoming the problem.

[@cookiecutter5162]

are you stupid?

[@skyelarwillis5187]

What happened to you? I've been hit by, I've been struck by, a smooth criminal.

[@dawnbassani9387]

I meant to fix my reply. But did not work. Was just saying it happens for many. My step mom works with people with Down syndrom as well as, some are deaf and blind .she has a girl who has cerebral palsy who she has worked with for Years! Just want to recognize all the good she has done! She is an amazing woman! Thank you heather!

[@popsis15]

i am on a quest to binge watch all of these videos, so i know how to act like a decent human being. i have learned one huge tip and that is; treat them like a friend. they don't want you to feel sorry for them. they live a good life and just want a friend.

[@dancer2989]

I've been in a wheelchair since birth and I relate to all of these. The petting my head or my shoulder is my biggest pet peeve. It makes my blood boil. I have smacked people before.

[@Villeful]

Things not to say to someone with OCD! "Do you have to wash your hands loads then?" I do personally, but I know loads of people who don't >.

[@reneehughes7860]

When I get the stupid questions I always reply with all sincerity, "Why do you ask?" Shuts them up & makes them think about what they just said without my having to be rude to them. I'm legally deaf as well so I get lots of silly questions. Keep on rolling everyone.

[@manu11227]

I definitely learn some stuff,thank you 💛

[@reginaphallange2857]

Do things you shouldn't say to someone with type 1 diabetes!! Like: so you can't have sugar? Or are you sure you can eat that? Do injections hurt? I couldn't do it, etc etc

[@ma-cl1oq]

I have to share this story 😂 some years ago my mother was paralysed in her legs because of an illness she have (eds). She was tired of people asking her what have happened to her, so in the end she just lied and said she was hit by a bus 😂 She can walk now btw even though the doctors said she would never walk again.

[@CofyjunkyPNW]

2:15. Yah, I'm not paralyzed. I can stand and walk for very short periods, but my osteoarthritis is cripplingly painful, 24-7. I use a wheelchair to aid me to get around places. Work, grocery stores, the mall for exercize, etc. (I work on strengthening my upper body, so that I'm able to put my wheelchair in the trunk of my car)

[@denaerose8189]

They are all sooo cute and lovely people.