Think You're Ready to Meet "The One"? Watch This First...

[@SamElle]

For a looong time I THOUGHT i was ready but in fact, there was a lot of things I still had to work through and was not ready for a relationship. I was more obsessed with the idea of a relationship and was falling "in love" with people way too quickly. I was falling in love with the idea of the person. Now I can say I am truly at a point where I am truly ready for a relationship. I no longer fall in love with everyone person I meet and I understand what values I am looking for

[@leanet22]

Hi Sam! I think i'm on that phase that i think i'm ready but just got my heart broke again. Honestly, how do I get there? Thank you for sharing 😊

[@SamElle]

@@leanet22 Hi Leandra!! This sounds cheesy but what really helped me was journaling and being in touch with my feelings/ emotions. I used to be the type of person who would on my emotions and react poorly, but I would not fully process it. This includes processing heart break. I had to rebuild myself and learn who I was without having someone else in my life. Basically, the thing where people say you have to be whole on your own is so true. I wrote down values, red flags, and deal breakers I had from past relationships and it made it easier to see them whenever I met someone new. I basically learned what I would and would not tolerate. If someone wasn't showing the same amount of interest in me, I would move on. Little things like that helped!

[@Mgr1st]

@@SamElle What was the urgent need to have someone in your life at all times for, if you don't mind the question? 😄

[@SamElle]

@@Mgr1st it wasn’t at all times! It comes and goes in waves for me. I think there’s more pressure now as I get older (from my parents) and from seeing friends around me getting engaged or married!

[@Mgr1st]

@@SamElle I see. Makes perfect sense with outside pressures being a strong factor. Thanks for sharing. 🙌🏻

[@leannesmith1207]

"elevates our best, soothes our worst." - amazing truth!

[@colainebradly786]

how are you doing Leanne

[@m.proxy.z]

It’s a beautiful thing when phrases in a relationship change from “I’m seeing someone” or “we are seeing each other” to “I see you”.

[@Trasea]

That's why I love Avatar... "I see you" - maybe it's the new ILY✨

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

High schools should have people like Matt Hussey visit and give advice to young minds to help them make better choices🧚‍♀️

[@shivanthikulasingham6131]

Could not agree with you more! I wish I had him when I was back in high school. We are taught so many 'Subjects', but not important LIFE subjects.

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

@@shivanthikulasingham6131 Yeah totally...I home school my daughter and we chat alot about kindness, also not staying friends with people if they bully...even early PDHPE stuff....have encouraged both my girls to talk to me about anything... and they do....but if Matt Hussey hero's did talk at high schools it would inspire teens to respect themselves and others. Sexual stuff seems to be starting earlier than ever...very scary🧚‍♀️

[@PtolemyXVII]

British boys schools teach emotional intelligence, how to read people and diplomacy from a young age. Should be the standard in early childhood education. Mr. Hussey is interesting, but I don’t agree with half of what he says 😊

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

@@PtolemyXVII hello, that's really good that over there Brittish boys get taught diplomacy......I live in Australia and feel it's a bit lacking......and nothing in schools teaches them about what a healthy relationship is......so far I like what Mr Hussey says......and I now and then may have a different feelings about what he says from my personal experiences but I generally agree with what he says...... love your honesty and it's a good trait to have🧚‍♀️

[@snoozyq9576]

They tried but I never wanted to listen lol. That's the problem with teens they sometimes wanna find out the hard way

[@premakarini]

Bringing out the best in each other as equals with no pedestal and projection is the most amazing and beautiful experience : ))

[@hedvikakadlecova9355]

LP pool pl

[@hedvikakadlecova9355]

Ll

[@hedvikakadlecova9355]

Pp ll

[@hedvikakadlecova9355]

LP ll

[@jewlzn7130]

Wow, beautifully said

[@mariacordoba4560]

Matthew, your parents did a great job with both your brother and you. They taught you about real bonds. I think cinema has harmed us a lot, we are the first generation with a massive access to media and we are all confused and looking for new heroes and new gods as if we were a new species of human when we are as imperfect and love- seeking (or even more) as our ancestors. Wish you the best from southern Spain.

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

I agree too much fake unrealistic fantasy imagery......that suck us into thinking 'the grass is greener elsewhere'🧚‍♀️

[@arorajivlogs1641]

romantic movies are worst influencers.....

[@humanii9037]

We grew up watching love ending at a sunset hill. But now we have yt, podcast,books etc to be more aware of everything and anything that we choose to look for especially when it comes to love and finding a partner.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Try not watching any television at all it’s even more lonely. On my days off all I usually do is just read the Bible and today I’m going on a date but just don’t even want to go. I’m just going through a stage of sadness and loneliness for some reason because I had to change my life drastically and it’s painful.🤷‍♀️

[@gregolonious]

A lot of people are going around broken. Not fixing. Not healing. Not ready, and expecting the other person to be perfect and fix them

[@Chahlie]

That was me, but after having a nervous breakdown and the consequent digging into lack of self esteem, I know we need to address this in young people at high school age. So much wasted potential of young people due to highly dysfunctional parents. What sucks is that once you fix yourself you don't want romance!

[@graysparrow1226]

Healthy self = Heal Thy Self

[@humanii9037]

That is very true. A person who doesn't want to be alone will find someone who also feels alone.

[@jclyntoledo]

@@graysparrow1226 🤯 Damn

[@iiris4373]

I’ve heard this in a movie once and i feel it really opened my eyes on what love is a little bit. It went like this.. ”I like you because, but i love you despite”. Not everybody is perfect but when you truly love a person, you’re willing to overlook all the bad qualities and focus on the amazing ones

[@snoozyq9576]

I don't think people have good and bad qualities. Some are just more compatible than others

[@iiris4373]

@@snoozyq9576 Yes, but no one will be fully perfect. And you shouldn't look for one that is, either. It's good to find someone that makes you fall in love with them more every day, and someone that pisses you off like no other, yet you still fall for them more for it. But it is also down to compatibility, yes. It's hard to explain better then that i think

[@loreladumbrava]

Its about elevating the good and soothing and healing is possible, thr bad, and the willingness for this from both sides

[@OurFantasyIsland]

Matt, in answer to your question: I used to fall in love with people who gave me a bit of their attention way too quickly and get disappointed time after time, because they either rejected me or were unavailable. I guess I wanted a relationship too much, but wasnt actually ready for one. It was like a vicious cycle, but I made my way out of it in the end :)

[@evelynmontero4178]

How did you make your way out. That's exactly what I'm going Through...

[@OurFantasyIsland]

@@evelynmontero4178 I had that problem because desired a relationship, and I desired a relationship because I wanted to have a person with whom I could be very close. My close friends live in different cities and I didnt have any warmness or any particular connection with my family, I guess I was very lonely. That made me fall in love with guys before they showed me their real face or expressed commitment. I guess you need to analyse what makes you fall in love too quickly, so that you can look for it elsewhere other than in relationships.

[@debracrawford2906]

My ex fell "in love" with just about everyone he dated for more than a month. This was a huge red flag for me. I was a year out of a divorce when we met. We got along great, had many of the same interests but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I really could be any 50 something, good looking female in good shape. I think he had abandonment issues and wanted anyone to commit to him. I had my own issues of emotional and physical neglect during my 28 year marriage. This is what I received and stayed for during the new relationship. However, I couldn't gamble with my future and take on the other red flags which slowly emerged. For the past two years I find that I am at peace with where I am in my life. I love my peaceful life and don't see me inviting chaos into it ever again.

[@serenity8295]

my narcissist ex ...everyone was his "soulmate" and for the stupidest of reasons 😂stupid!

[@angelinpdx2297]

“Dating is like cooking a meal that turns into a relationship.” SO true. Be truly kind and loving and accepting all along the way. 💓

[@colainebradly786]

nicely put, thank you. how are you doing today

[@jennifer8929]

I think we meet the right person when we are happy within ourselves and have evolved from our experiences. And of course timing because you both have to be willing to invest in each other. You should invest in someone who invests in you.

[@jessiedrew8396]

Not gonna lie, I couldn't concentrate a whole lot looking at his arms 🙈🤣

[@user-vf5pq8cm4g]

Wasn't looking at his arms but after reading this it was hard to stop 😂

[@deannadolan5119]

When compatibility sparks chemistry, we're emotionally ready for a relationship. We need to get beyond our insecurities, meet our own (subconscious) needs as much as possible, communicate openly and honestly with compassion, and accept each other as human beings. A lot of people struggle to take accountability and that's why it "feels" difficult, complicated, and frustrating.

[@colainebradly786]

I admire your sense of reasoning :) hello Deanna, Im Jeffery, will love to know you more

[@deannadolan5119]

@@colainebradly786 thanks, that's kind of you. Unfortunately, I have an ex who creates fake social media accounts to stalk me, so I've made it a habit not to chat privately with anyone online who I don't know personally. All the best.

[@deannadolan5119]

@@colainebradly786 I understand your point, but his perceptions aren't of consequence to me. I don't care if he thinks he's winning. There are plenty of opportunities to meet and connect with people offline in person where I live so I don't view foregoing online encounters as anything I'm missing out on. As an example, I rarely drink alcohol so I'm not likely to meet someone at a bar either and I don't see that as a missed opportunity to meet someone. If I were living in an isolated area, I might feel encumbered by his behavior, but that's not the case. I just believe people deserve an honest response for why I don't engage in private conversations with people I don't know online. The only exception to that rule is if someone posts videos of themselves on their social media because I can verify that it's not him, but even then, I'm not a fan of long distance romantic relationships so it's not likely to get beyond a limited friendship.

[@caoilin3]

Wow. This video really opened my eyes, clearly showed that there is a difference in wanting to not be lonely vs wanting a relationship. Makes me realize I need to think more about myself. Truly an excellent message and perfectly explained. I will be watching this one a few more times. Thanks Matt.

[@colainebradly786]

how has your day been Carolyn

[@caoilin3]

@@colainebradly786 pretty good. You?

[@colainebradly786]

@@caoilin3 im good, thank you for your response. I will very well like to know you more. Im single and live in Houston Texas. how about you, where about are you from

[@tehila101]

After my recent break up I actually realized exactly what you said here, I realized that in my past relationships I just didn't want to be lonely and I liked the idea of being in a relationship and that was the reason for me to get in those relationships in the first place. But now after I see that and I'm going through healing myself I know that I would never do that again, I want to get into a relationship only if it feels true for me, if the person really interests me and doesn't feel fake or too forced to be with.

[@michaelstone193]

After my divorce I turned my back to the world.... But I think am finally ready for a serious relationship... 🤗

[@empresspa]

Becoming more self-aware about who I’m inside out was my best lesson to learn in my journey of self-love. I’m dating myself again after coming out of a painful marriage of 15yrs.The day i feel that I have fully invested in becoming the better version of myself, I think then I will be close to being ready.

[@Cheryl_Frazier]

After being single for four years and rediscovering myself I felt hesitant, but ready. I met someone online who lives 3,000 miles away. Subconsciously I probably chose him on purpose because he was "safe " As it turns out, he is a beautiful soul; kind, and emotionally healthy, and we're very compatible in the most important ways. We're able to travel back and forth to see each other and are getting to know each other and developing a wonderful relationship by communicating every day in between visits. I feel that he sees me, and brings out the best in me - and I want to do the same for him because he's such a good person. 😊 Thanks Matthew for your insight!!

[@sofs994]

same .

[@Tiia922]

These are valid points but after a narcissistic/ abusive relationship you have to be very cautious about who you let in your life. It is about defining your values and boundaries. I do not think that all bad qualities should be tolerated.

[@HannaPramholt]

Self love without self awareness is just obnoxious.

[@quiqui6429]

I disagree that never liking someone is a sign that you are not ready for a relationship. We have to remember the context of not liking someone. Not liking someone is not simply a matter of nit picking but involves our discernment. If you know yourself well you have the ability to identify if your compatible with another from one conversation. Realistically you will need to access how much time, energy, and focus you are willing to gift someone. As a person who is classified as "difficult" by others when it comes to my accessibility. I would like to give insight as to why that statement is problematic in determining ones readiness for partnership. I need intellectual stimulation in all of my relationships, especially romantic. When a suitor approaches me I look for intellectual arousal. Intellectual stimulation is a prerequisite, it is non-negotiable. So if a guy can't provide that then its a no. Having a prerequisite is often perceived as being "difficult" to those who are ill equipped. Having an "abormal" expectation in your culture romantically, means you're not going to be attracted to them. From their perspective you are closed to love and need to settle but they use the term compromise. Not truly understanding that compromising is for mundane things that superficially impact your well-being and happiness. This is about exculsivity and inculsivity; neither are bad and one is not better than the other. They are not indicators of your readiness for a relationship either. How you identify, exculsive or inculsive, romantically is your right. Never allow someone else's perspective to taint that.

[@sophiar.iturricha9610]

That part when you say " recognize the best and elevate it whilst recognizing the worst and helping healing it.. as we also expect it towadrs ourselves".. IS BEAUTIFUL. Thank you Matt

[@vickilau716]

I don't usually comment at all but this is one of the best videos ever made on the subject thus far. Other guys need to see this, especially.

[@johnnyhearldonrocks]

This video answered a few soul searching questions of mine. My relationship came to an end in February for quite a few reasons, most of which were out of my control thanks to covid. When the relationship ended most of the people around me said “oh don’t worry, she was punching way above her weight, you were way too good for her” But I never seen that, I only seen what made her beautiful in my eyes and never her faults in other peoples eyes and I loved her without question. So yes I am ready.

[@godsplan7726]

Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands emotions.. Matthew Hussey..the one..who understands relationships.. Matthew Hussey..you are the one..who deserves all the happiness and love..

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

The idea that "it's always the right time for the right person" is so toxic. I'm learning that now in my 30s, just coming out of a 10 year relationship. It is _not_ always the right timing with the right person. Abso-fucking-lutely not. _Nobody_ is superhuman enough to override your emotional readiness, emotional growth, emotional curveballs. Nobody is "right enough" to just always fit no matter what your circumstances are. And putting that on people creates a lot of unnecessary heartache in people thinking they're just not good enough to be more important than the person's readiness.

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

(And I say that because: I am 100% convinced that my ex (from the 10 years I just left) _is_ in fact my right person. But the fact that he has severe mental issues that he won't address, and I am so much of a people pleaser that I lost myself in us... that means it's not the right time. He 100% was/is my person. But I deserve to be honest and say: as much as we understand each other and go above and beyond trying to love each other right, right now we can't, and I do not owe him suffering out of romanticism.)

[@katie8068]

I hear you! And I’m sorry you went through that!

[@curlymixednezz]

I agree with this so much... I'm sorry you've gone through this *hugs *

[@reneelee5473]

...Elevates our best, soothes our worst." ahh I felt such relief to hear you say this! I have just recently started practicing this with myself :)

[@TheGrimhilde]

I used to be ready a couple of times. At 38 I'm not and I'm sure it will last a while, still couldn't be more comfortable with that. Matthew, you're a treasure!

[@zege2217]

Good points raised by the video. Having said that, sometimes you don’t know what you are truly looking for until you experience what you are not.

[@wildwoman4911]

Matthew, Do you mean I can't have the Right man delivered to my doorstep relationship ready? 🤦‍♀️ Phooey! I love the analogy that dating is like cooking a meal that turns into a relationship.

[@robertpadua6096]

Sorry bro relationships are over and not posssible anymore in 2021. Dating apps and social media ruined it. Time to drop the towel.

[@leilachristie1861]

I went on my first date and it went so well. I loved the way he made me feel. He looked older than photos, we have connections all ready. We spoke and texted for about two months before. I loved his sensitive warmth. He said he could be a support to me and I felt he could. Going well so far. I am willing to be his support too. I believe if you see the guy as a friend too then that's where " magic" begins

[@letrice2892]

I think getting to know a person is important bcuz so many times we over look that or expect that to naturally happen once the relationship is developed and thats backwards and in my opinion getting to know the person allows u to see if that's some one you're really interested in taking things to the next level

[@jjm8224]

I feel all warm and cozy just reading this. Good luck Leila.

[@ForevAzz]

Update? 😊

[@leilachristie1861]

@@ForevAzz didn't work out with that one. But I've been with a Romanian man for four months and I'm in love for the first time ever because it's reciprocated

[@ForevAzz]

@@leilachristie1861 aww glad to hear! And thanks for the update ☺️

[@kayleeware]

what if you are ready but you have really bad social anxiety?

[@refiloendlovu6518]

Oh Lord. Looking at the best of someone. I just realize how hypercritical I was about my ex. He was to me too, but I can’t say I always saw the best in him.

[@mariahallen3604]

"To love is not about merging. It is a noble calling for the individual to ripen, to differentiate, to become a world in oneself in response to another. It is a great, immodest call that singles out a person and summons them beyond all boundaries. Only in this sense may we use the love that has been given us. This is humanity’s task, for which we are still barely ready." - Rainer Maria Rilke -

[@deliapasqualini970]

This is brutal. Thank you. Your words are a mirror of all the times

[@iliyanoffrg]

Just what I needed. Thank you!

[@MiMi-ch8zr]

Saaaaame

[@MiMi-ch8zr]

Saaaame

[@saraiscixiri]

I choose unavailable men, I choose to act immature and sabotage things because I'm scared and won't communicate even though I'm actually, generally, good at it, I never put myself forward much... honestly the list could go ooooon.

[@nthoney4557]

The one 💕 🧸💙💖✨✨♥️ Love. Practice some skills first.oh! This video is made for me.

[@bellaluis4138]

Hello my dear,I can refer you to a relationship expert who help me to bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup

[@bellaluis4138]

Contact him now on whatspp

[@bellaluis4138]

[phone]

[@marinikaP]

This video was definitely the wake-up call I needed to reflect deeper on what it means to be ready for a relationship - thank you Matthew.

[@metzlylopez7570]

After listening to this video I’ve realized I’m not ready for a relationship, I thought I was but I’m far from it. For the past year I’ve been LOOKING for someone to share my life with, because just like you said, I don’t want to be alone anymore. Oddly enough I do get the guy, but as soon as I sense doubt in them I pull back and end up running away..Im just not ready, and they might not be as well. Also I used to always have a back up guy while dating someone else, Im so tired of that, I’m tired of not trusting the other will commit and always being in a “one foot in and one foot out” situation. Lately I’ve decided to cut all ties loose, which has given me the opportunity to commit to myself, maybe this will help me commit to others and attract a man who is ready for the same.

[@missmcphee8859]

👏👏

[@notimetodienttd1115]

A backup guy while dating someone else...Interesting way of coping 🤔

[@victoriacherrington9936]

Very insightful Matthew thank you! I agree with this revelation.. especially in readiness. As much as I feel ready and much loneliness here, I am still working through a touch of trust issues. I thought I overcame them with time. I need to put more faith in a new person as they are a clean slate to draw with! Although, I am a believer of love can happen regardless of obstacles like distance. It just requires more effort. Kind of like an athlete trying to run a local race or sport vs training for the Olympics! Go for the gold!!! 🎶🏃‍♀️🏆🥇❤👑

[@annakozoriz]

I am in this dating night mare for the past 4 years after tragic death of my husband…. I am giving up on it…. I cannot meet anyone in off line life as I am isolated at work and the only place to meet someone are apps…. I cannot stand them as they are indeed fast food…. Somehow if you meet someone on Tinder it automatically gives the man that sense of freedom to behave unrespectful…. The borders of respect are wiped off as in their mind it’s possible …. Otherwise why would a normal woman be on Tinder…. I am giving up on the idea that I can meet someone.

[@bellaluis4138]

Hello my dear,I can refer you to a relationship expert who help me bring back my ex few days ago

[@bellaluis4138]

Contact him now on Whatpp

[@bellaluis4138]

[phone]

[@angellinegirl]

I am sad to hear about your situation. I would recommend you try paid dating services as people seem to be more serious and invested when they have to pay for it. The free dating apps are mostly rubbish. I wish you well ❤

[@evaelflein8326]

This is the best video you have ever made! Thank you!

[@johnelahad721]

Agreed!

[@elharrop]

Needed to hear this. Just met a great guy who said he was looking for marriage, we had an incredible weekend together then he said he's not available to meet me at all during the week because he's tired from work (even though he goes the gym most nights afterwards) It was quite hard not to take it personally and as a sign of disinterest and I continue to be completely baffled by this. How can anyone expect a relationship with someone only free on weekends? People think they can have their cake and eat it these days and have no fear of losing someone special because they know they can just go on an app and find a replacement in 30 minutes, it's devastating.

[@vikinglass5496]

Emma, I’m sorry this happened to you. I have gone through the same thing. I gave him a pass for awhile because I’m too easy going. I’m working on that part of myself. You know the answer already. It hurts and it sucks!!

[@seanl3384]

I suggest giving him space if it’s early on. His drive might be a quality you like, no? If he refuses to give you a bit more time in the future , bring it up and move on if he can’t compromise. My $.02 🤠

[@elharrop]

@@seanl3384 Thanks Sean, much appreciated! Yeah early days, I didn't really want to but I'm gonna keep my options open to take away the heaviness of the situation!

[@rosswardrop465]

No thank you.I dont want to get ripped off again.Thats why men have to stay single.take my advice.

[@JB93421]

I've been waiting for you Matthew all my life❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@refiloendlovu6518]

This is a beautiful video.. 😭 I’m literally crying.

[@azuresky9591]

To my Frens, they feel like I’ve set my standards too high to “avoid” a relationship. For the longest time, I’ve been trying to explain my thoughts And at the same time search for a video to support my Belief -> I’m working on myself to be a better version everyday for I believe “The One” will appear when both of us had reached that “version” for both of us to recognize each other. This is also in response to your question about which camp we’re in. This video is by far the best I’ve found to “support” me in my next explanation (if I have to) 😅 Thank you and wishing you and everyone here “recognize” the One soon as well.

[@judithcharvit7982]

the differenciation between be ready for a relationship and be ready not to be alone is very subtile. amazing Matthew

[@andlj.179]

Ad3) Some self-disclosing facts, isn't it Matt? Speaking about being ready for a relationship: nobody is ever completely prepared for it. The real challenge is meeting people with whom you "click" or vibe. You can be a very outgoing person (no need to be a couch potato who loves binge-watching romantic comedies with happy endings and living in a fantasy love world) but still don't meet adequate people to establish a genuine relationship with. The more evolved, educated and multifaceted the person is (looking for something meaningful and reluctant to settle), and maybe to add good looks, the harder it gets. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time having standards. No one expects that the right partner would be delivered to their door. Still, meeting " quality " people that resonate with our values and desires is nowadays very hard. And you can not force a connection, love or make people care no matter how strongly you desire that. There has to be freedom, free flow and mutual interest to develop an initial potential into something meaningful. The biological clock also limits women (the ones that want a family). Therefore the challenge to meet the right partner in due time, who would be a great parent, is even more demanding.

[@azurelleb]

I have the same problem - when someone is interested in me and I am not interested back, I do question whether it was not meeting the right person or it was me not being ready for a relationship. But I can’t make myself like or feel connected with someone, so I ended up not taking “opportunities” where they presented themselves, rightly or wrongly. Maybe for me it is a combination of both. Dating is so hard….

[@judithcharvit7982]

I am sorry to say so but what i beleive is that men are too focused on superficial and sex and for that reason mislead women who for the most part look for real relationships.

[@johnelahad721]

So glad for your stance on this Matthew - been single for awhile now, but still don’t feel ready to be in a relationship. Could have listened to so much more than 16 minutes of this. Definitely wisdom for when I feel lonely & want someone there!

[@VoodooU2]

You have been working out Matthew, keep up the good work. Behaviors are important.

[@calliecutsinger8812]

I love the purpose of this video. I have met some great people on online dating. However, whenever the talking starts getting old, I'll ask them out for an actual date and get ghosted or I'll lead them to ask for the date and they never do. Love all of your messages and your insights into people and relationships.

[@renzenker2526]

No judgement? Hmmm Here in Vancouverland so many men 45-55 with no proper job, still renting and no car...ok, maybe a kind person, but how can I start with someone destined to drag me down for all I have worked for, which they have not?! And the punchline is some of these losers think they still want kids?!

[@ashgreen3574]

It's ridiculous they have nothing to offer even at that age.

[@donnakona1347]

Wise words for such a young man.

[@sarahst.lawrencemusic3918]

You look different; I think you are in love...with...someone, something..you... or you've had work done. Either way, looks good on you :) About seeing the best in people; as a recovering empath (is this a thing??) I see only the best in people, until, there is virtually nothing left...every stone uncovered. So must be wary of projecting one's own good qualities onto others. As, I believe, a narcissist projects their bad qualities onto others, looks only for the bad.

[@tehila101]

After my recent break up I actually realized exactly what you said here, I realized that in my past relationship I just didn't want to be lonely and I liked the idea of being in a relationship and that was the reason for me to get in those relationships in the first place. But now after I see that and I'm going through healing myself I know that I would never do that again, I want to get into a relationship only if it feels true for me, if the person really interests me and doesn't feel fake or too forced to be with.

[@jclyntoledo]

This right here is why I haven't been in a relationship for a long time.

[@jcarreon9248]

hi! i just want to share this too, i felt lost and i found the vid below i believe in God but i never really understood when they say let God be the center of your relationship its a good video, talks about friendship first and falling in love with something beyond the person, hope this helps too kzbin.info/www/bejne/inTKZaJ6jp2gbZY

[@annaschulte7902]

Watching this I just realized that I am still guilty of projecting. That's why I watch these videos. I have learned so much about myself as it relates to dating.

[@PandaJohns]

I feel offended. Thats how i feel the border, where i have to admit im wrong.

[@mujathepaganprepper7610]

If dating coaches know so much, why are they single?

[@kelebeksky]

Is he still single?

[@janetcoleman3366]

You are so right, we all come with flaws none of us are perfect. But we must know what we are realistically looking for in a person if we keep trying to find mr. Right we will be looking for a long time and be very disappointed. When I say Mr Right am talking about the perfect person. Not going to happen.. I wrote down everything I wanted that was realistically what I wanted.. It took 2 years, but I got there. He's not perfect, but he gives me the love and support I needed. So thankful that he came along. Thank you for all your videos they helped me many times..

[@sun_rose123]

Matthew that's the problem with dating nowadays - people go on dates, but they judge and project their own insecurities and issues on the other person. I treated dating as in I wanted to know the other person, I wanted to invest my time, but got treated like I was another one in the line, and soon I said something "wrong" I was casted away. I felt like men do not respect dating and the process, I felt exhausted by going on more dates and feeling exhausted and demotivated again, so I shut all my apps, and now I'm focusing on my sparetime and interests.

[@40Bethy]

Part of the problem as it's too easy to swipe right we expect relationships to go as fast as a computer we need to be patient and get to know people not just expect things to happen fast either

[@pehaiyin9027]

I totally agreee with you on this. I would say is rare to find people who are willing to take time to know each other and expect to everything to flourish at the start. I really do miss the time where technology isnt too advanced and peoppe really have the sincerity to know each other, even if is just to establish a friendship

[@oponomo]

Loved the video Matt. In terms of topic+introspection it was the best one so far!

[@JuliaMajakovskaja]

You such an amazing speaker. Delivered the message in a such an engaging and vivid way. Thank you.

[@dscrmortgagegal]

Wow! Awesome. Love this ❤. Thank you Matthew!

[@clarahauser]

watching this video while actually cooking .. let’s hope it’s a good omen

[@flutefun999]

"someone who elevates our best and soothes our worst". BAM! Love this!

[@lele31800]

Thank you so much for this wise message ! I think I just realized I'm not ready for a real relationship despite what I used to say to others and to myself

[@AxelShepard]

Perfect timing Matt. For tle last three days i'm dying insidebecause I can't figure this out. I feel that I will be ready for a relationship when I will be truly desperate to lower my standards. I am too demanding and have very specific type of people that I am looking for. And ofcourse- I am fully aware of how fuc#ed up I am (very artistic and a cronic passenger if an emotional rollercoaster), and that is scary. I don't want to play with someone or hurt him... So if the miricle isn't going to happen I will probably gat the Last minute man to have children and agree on the fact that I will not be happy 🤦‍♂️ (I am happy alone but can't really have children without a partner xD) Feels soooo bad to realise that...

[@alejandrofrade325]

Not everybody has a happy ending...that's why they are so special. All we can do is try, if I never find the girl to truly love it wont be because I didnt try

[@donnaclarewescomb1475]

I've been on a healing journey since 5 years ago and You Tube videos helped me a lot! I'm now entering a time where I'm feeling a lot more ready for a healthy relationship and am attracted to healthier people. This video was so so eye opening and comforting! I am so surprised that I didn't watch his videos earlier but Maybe I wasn't ready yet. Now I am and I'm so grateful!! Thank you Matthew

[@krm6029]

Not ready headed back to the closet 🥺 great peptalk

[@katjasaukkonen1874]

@Matthew Hussey But what is a "real relationship"? Is it only defined by time (like 5-10-20years)? I think a short relationship is also a real relationship, if it has been meaningfull to people in it. I also think relationship terms are changing. "A date" is more often defined by having a hookup, and "a relationship" is more often everything where two people have feelings for eachother. There are meny kinds of relationships. So in conclusion, I think the question if one is ready for a relationship is complex.

[@michaelstone193]

It's not that complex, just trust the process...

[@KarenAzulai]

I luv listening to you. U r super intelligent. Thank you 🙏

[@queenh5886]

This was my favorite video of this channel

[@NissrineEL]

I always feel like Mathhew‘s videos pop up exactly at a point in my life where I need them. I was just thinking about my readiness for a relationship then boom... this video 🤪 Extremely insightful and realistic. I fully subscribe to Mtthew‘s perception 👏🏻👏🏻

[@user-sw4cl4yb2g]

I simply can’t find anyone I’m attracted to .... 🙃

[@slobodankaarambasic4961]

Thank you so much, Matt. You, your brother and the entire team, are always here for us, delivering, giving your best to help our souls. Thank you for not giving up on us. ❤️

[@colainebradly786]

how arte you doing today, your photo is a bit blurred, wish i could see you clearly

[@WuWuGuruWhatsIt2U]

Wherever you’re filming from is awesome!

[@BrunaSouza-dk4gi]

That video showed up to me.. I don’t know why (I live in another corner of the world), but after watching it, I realised how much I needed to listen those things.

[@sangeetabanerjee6]

The exact question on timing n relationship was answered here. Only the irony remains that we fall for the "projection" for new Charming suitors and end up being sad ourselves when the screen breaks. As far as m concerned I hv full faith I will get my man but focussing on finding myself first ❤️

[@michellehubbard9463]

Oh I loved this video...”elevates our best and soothes our worst” 🥰 quote of the year...thanks Matthew

[@colainebradly786]

hey Michelle, how are you doing

[@melusine826]

Wow that dude who didnt" look in the mirror " till late 30s🙄. Im glad he started maturing. You throw in porn and patriarchy as BAU basline and its not worth the pain of dealing with them. That's some BS Christian grey attitude "bend over backwards and give up all hope of your own emotional needs and you get... me"

[@eemilee91]

Very insightful video! I can see myself coming back again and again to watch this.

[@barbarabeck2764]

Profound video. Thanks!!!

[@MartaSloane]

At this point ,it would be great to have friends to Façetime with.. The pandemic really changed a lot of people's social lives.. but even FaceTime with friends would be a stàrt.

[@helenaluisa7518]

I loved this :) I never comment but had to on this one!

[@nusibasaeed1938]

Mat This is me commenting before watching the video Nd am not sure if you'll see but anyhow 😔 I wanna compromise but I don't know till where , I do compromise automatically cuz of my fear of losing the person then at a time I just feel like I don't wanna that person nd I shut them up This is hell exhausting nd I have no clue how can I fix it . **edition Short sleeve shirt suits you as hell 💙

[@farah839]

Hi Matthew. Watching ur video makes feel alive, thanks for ur advice

[@evenight0024]

Not to judge a person by appearance. I thought that this is something everyone knows until some people told me that the person needs to 'pass' the superficial thing (aka, appearance) before being 'qualified' for the deeper level. They said this because they think how you can go into a deeper level with that person if you don't even like his look. Well, to be honest I am a bit convenienced 😣

[@alejandrofrade325]

Ready? Hell...I'm completely terrified. I just cant put myself through this again

[@clarisse5071]

God you’re good. Thanks for this Mat!

[@kellyannnoonan2674]

Today I should have met up with a guy for the first time. Last night over text I mentioned to him that I had this random guy just message me, he didn’t like that “I was talking to other men” and today he expected me to drive 1 1/2 hours to him and sort out somewhere to meet, before Matthew I would’ve done it but I thought where’s his effort?! So it didn’t happen and won’t be, two red flags. He was saying over text that “ this could go somewhere “ and that was scary, I hadn’t even spoken to him 😳. Thank you Matthew, looking forward to the retreat 😊

[@Dizzy_Dayzy]

i luv this! romance, to me anyway, is something shared, like the beauty found in fantasy.... but in nature's flow. romance is moments shared in feeling! people are actually so much more than that!!

[@susannemcilwain8123]

Thanks for sharing this insight Matthew. Very helpful. I cannot wait for the retreat in September!!!

[@cristinaalem7214]

Totally true. I’m living in London and it’s exactly like this. Real relationship is building on a basis of love reciprocity, not to fill a void or for functional reasons like sharing bills and social status. I believe in true love! True love in a real connection love ourselves and love the other as he really is with all package of qualities and imperfections. Gratitude Matthew very beautiful your video 💕💕💕