This Book Was So Bad, I Had to Cheat to Finish | Pretty Little Squares

[@icantthinkofagoodname.3983]

I deadass thought the 64-squares book was an accounting textbook.

[@MrSomaArikado]

Yep but its not. Cause an accounting textbook sounds more fun then 64 squares

[@mksabourinable]

SAME

[@jamestomato1744]

Same. At first I was like "why is Krimson reading some financial book? Sounds boring as fuck"

[@minajones8341]

Same!! I couldn’t figure out why Krimson was reviewing a textbook 😂

[@TheAdarkerglow]

Well.... I thought it was about how to get good at chess... because 64 squares...

[@grukk4051]

I do worry about your sanity. Not because of the books, but because you think something can be dogproofed

[@KrimsonRogue]

Call me an optimist. XD

[@DerVasto]

Some call the human the ultimate beast of destruction. But they have yet to meet doggo.

[@purpleguy319]

@@KrimsonRogue optimism is the most insidious form of insanity. Also it was painful just listening to you read that guys writing. And i work in education so I've read some bad writing.

[@deadmanreading3152]

A note left by the broken Throne: "Ashtongue the Deathsworn sends his regards."

[@Baiswith]

I mean, it *could* be dogproofed...but I'm not sure the books would be recoverable lol

[@johnroberts7185]

Howdy. Auditor here. I've read 64 Squares, and the author's knowledge of accounting is painfully lacking. If he has those titles he's supposedly earned, he 100% had to do some "favors" for the people who examined him.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Thank you for the expert insight.

[@tedros6917]

i've taken 1 accounting class in university and I have to agree

[@dustdusty3947]

But you do have admit it’s pretty boring!

[@AutisticAccountant]

Krimson and I discussed this and I've explained how much the author fucked up basic accounting principles based on the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles and the International Financial Reporting Standards.

[@GameTavern2224]

I pity the bastards who hired this dude to do their taxes

[@theskepticpirate156]

"This book is like 85% setup, and maybe 5% conclusion. Don't ask me what the other 10% is idk" The final 10% is saying "I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant."

[@Hello-uu9mq]

Bahaha- Yeah, sounds about right

[@ollie_last]

Hearing that any time more than once - no, half-ce - makes my brain turn to mush.

[@radojerkovic3059]

Some basic math on my end shows that him saying that makes up a little over 4% of the book, going by word count. I'm almost impressed.

[@radojerkovic3059]

Did more math. 5.09% of the book, give or take, is him introducing himself.

[@theskepticpirate156]

@@radojerkovic3059 lol you didn't need to do the math. I saw an opportunity to make a terrible joke.

[@kaidorade1317]

Ironic: he could save others from reading bad books, but not himself

[@NEMOfishZ92]

If I'm not mistaken that's a star wars reference

[@midnight8341]

@@NEMOfishZ92 Isn't it also a bible quote? (Paraphrased)

[@NEMOfishZ92]

@@midnight8341 I don't think so but I could be wrong But its definitely a star wars reference to the Sith legend "The Tragedy of Darth Plageuis the Wise"

[@NEMOfishZ92]

@@midnight8341 do you know The Tragedy of Darth Plageuis the Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

[@midnight8341]

@@NEMOfishZ92 no, I didn't know that.

[@ania_j.l]

I adore how the main character reintroduces his name and titles at every possible chance, but you still refuse to call him anything other than "the narrator"

[@lilithhedwig5408]

“The protag”

[@RobbieLugos]

Correction: “I adore how the main character, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant, reintroduces his name and titles at every possible chance, but you still refuse to call him, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant, anything other than the narrator.”

[@coneyislandqueen476]

oh my god, Empress Theresa was TERRIBLE and he finished it.... I can’t even imagine what horrors lie in this book he couldn’t even finish

[@dededeeznuts5986]

Why does it say you commented this 5 days ago

[@aim-to-misbehave5674]

@@dededeeznuts5986 Presumably patrons get early access

[@feritperliare2890]

Empress Theresa was just funny to read when it's written seriously when nothing makes sense it was awful but at least it doesn't bore you to death doing the same thing for hours except you know praising Theresa

[@nietoperz6]

... Accounting

[@graceanderson8731]

The difference between "so bad it's good" and "so bad it's terrible"

[@CapnJigglypuff]

“You thought it would be Jojo, but it was me, Titus Uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant!”

[@maluridae_]

I literally spat out loud laughing reading this and I don't even know the Jojo series for a reference hahaha

[@Kampfender_Krieger]

"You thought it was I, Titus Uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant, but it was I, Titus Uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant!!"

[@TheBonkleFox]

*I, Titus Uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant!

[@kabutoyakushi9739]

I read this is Krimson's voice and I bursted out laughing lmao

[@HE13272326]

Eggsactly

[@ilovemonkeyos]

Finally, Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, has a worthy opponent.

[@steviechubbs5238]

He's also a big rival to Cato Sicarius, knight-champion of Macragge, Captain of the second company, second to the chapter master, master of the watch, Grand Duke of Talassar, slayer of Daemons, slayer of Tyranids, slayer of Necrons, slayer of Tau... you get the picture

[@gusgus0070]

@@steviechubbs5238 and don’t forget Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains

[@axelfirekirby]

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way edit: forgot Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Echo Sky Brava Cortez and her brother Juni Rocket Racer Rebel Cortez (Who i think is named after the directors kids but like they say it a grand total of 3 times in the entire movie series so its not nearly as annoying as titus uno CPA FCPA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA)

[@shadow_shine3578]

Don't forget Penny Patricia Pentalope Smith

[@vegterble]

Not the longest example but J. Jonah Jameson

[@fleur6615]

when i, titus uno, ebony, dark’ness, dementia, raven way

[@datawolf39]

... arrived at Hogwarts... I mean the 64 squares something or other building I met with my team. I was wearing a white shirt with tan khakis and white shoes because I'm super Christian and so I love white and purity and stuff. Just that day I found that all my teammates changed their names because they were Christian now. I'm a super good influence on them and now they all have angel names.

[@thepersondotjpg]

This hurts to read.

[@supergoomba926]

STOP.

[@lunab541]

@@datawolf39 you're an accountant, Harry

[@Marines_Memelevolent]

, certified public accountant,

[@aliendaydreamer7931]

I wonder if a good christian girl like Empress Theresa would fall for a good christian man like Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant. Edit: add in Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and you've got the best story ever

[@tavern2468]

Lmfaooooo stfu

[@TuxedMask]

When Titus mention he wanted a good Christian girl. I wondered if the writer and Norman Boutin would become more than friends

[@spanglelime]

That fan fiction needs to happen. I need it in my life.

[@xryeau_1760]

@@spanglelime That's such a good opportunity for fanfic that I might take it myself

[@happyjellycatsquid]

Man don’t give me ideas...

[@edgarallenhoe3518]

"Diehard, but it's about accounting" would make a killer monty python sketch.

[@FuelDropforthewin]

@Dhar_C kzbin.info/www/bejne/l4SyaoJ8f7OAeKM Monty Python did in fact do something very similar.

[@Tareltonlives]

Well, they did do the Crimson Permanent Assurance

[@abookishmess]

Is that not the plot of The Other Guys 😂

[@justsomerandomguynoonecare8923]

Akira isn’t a murderer, she’s just making people rapidly cease existing

[@oz_jones]

She's just worried about people not getting enough sleep so she makes them sleep forever :)

[@father2mother3]

Nah, its that 4kids type beat. They unexplicately drive off for an extended period of time.

[@blackvulture6818]

She's a reciproucous spiritual transportator

[@skyblade7438]

She sent them to another dimension.

[@jettythesunfish]

Can Titus Uno cease to exist? Oh wait, excuse me, I said his name wrong. Can *Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant* cease to exist?

[@hiygamer]

I'm not going to lie, looking at the cover, I thought that was the user manual for an old electronic chess game.

[@lauriechan1426]

Same here. Thought it was going to be something riding the coatails of 'queen's gambit'

[@TravisBroski]

When I first saw this on Twitter (he was polling thumbnails for the vid), i straight up thought it was a College Algebra textbook

[@lunabearsong2043]

@@TravisBroski Absolutely same!

[@Sancyria]

I thought it was published "Queens Gambit"- fanfic

[@boneman-calciumenjoyer8290]

"How to beat deep blue in 46 easy steps."

[@elfboy745]

This line on the 64 squares book killed me. 'My team uses the most high technology available such as: cameras to take pictures,' Dead. I am dead.

[@GamersHolyArmy]

If it wasn't so repetitive this could've been one of the greatest so bad its good books of all time.

[@anth636]

I’m imagining that line in context to the late 19th century, and a spy hiding for hours to get a secret picture of someone.

[@Dalek59862]

That elf boy is dead

[@blainetate743]

*”If there exists a book out there worse than this one, keep it the fuck away from me.”* Nah, we’ll tell you. You know we will.

[@slevinchannel7589]

24:06: Uhm... thats not ok though? Kid... baby girl... Akira-chan! C'mon, thats not ok.

[@blainetate743]

@@slevinchannel7589 Huh?

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@blainetate743 Just sayin'.

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@blainetate743 Bit of a weird moment there.

[@blainetate743]

@@slevinchannel7589 What are you saying? I don’t get the message.

[@korppitekeehassujavideoita]

"i, titus uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant" by fall out boy featuring panic! at the disco

[@lathlisselara2397]

This is perfect omg

[@korppitekeehassujavideoita]

alternatively, i think lemon demon would be the one who would actually m a k e a song like that

[@leafyisqueer7155]

@@korppitekeehassujavideoita I personally believe the most plausible way this might possibly actually happen is "I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant by Fall Out Boy featuring Panic!At the Disco by Lemon Demon" by Ninja Sex Party featuring Arin Hansen, funniest man alive, hero of rhyme and video game boy, the one who wins.

[@GippyHappy]

@@leafyisqueer7155 featuring Pitbull

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

...featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series.

[@jdotleaf]

"It was one of those non-violent games of chess" Mr. Uno are you implying youve seen violent games of chess???

[@emmakelley5371]

"That's totally barbaric!" "That's Wizard's Chess"

[@notyetrain]

"Kasparov has conglamorated his pawns into a Megachessatron."

[@GippyHappy]

Chess to the DEATH

[@nyxine7516]

Chess boxing.

[@maiyannah]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/e2Pbf5-wqNODebM

[@rorysparshott4223]

If you've ever read company accounts, this book is absolutely hilarious, as it reads like it was written by someone who writes accounts for a living - massive reduplicated elements everywhere, spelling everything out in an attempt to get all information possible onto the page regardless as to whether it actually clarifies anything. This is hilarious, absolutely hilarious.

[@sovietmudkip1]

It honestly almost comes across to me as satire/an inside joke that went to far.

[@bored_person]

Even as someone who has never read a company account I could figure that out. It's obvious to everyone that he has the wrong kind of writing experience.

[@QuikVidGuy]

but why would he think that's how novels work are we being trolled

[@sugarm1860]

As an accountant myself, yeah, this is definitely our kind writing style.

[@bored_person]

@@QuikVidGuy inexperience.

[@Danskerenduuu]

Krimson was able to complete all the Onision books, too... I'm scared. :(

[@Danskerenduuu]

SAVE ME, LIBRARIAN JESUS

[@witchypoo7353]

I’m excited! & librarian Jesus cannot hear you, only librarian Satan

[@KrimsonRogue]

I hear everyone! I'm just too lazy to do anything about it.

[@witchypoo7353]

@@KrimsonRogue lmao! Sounds about right

[@justyouraveragecorgi]

And Empress Theresa.

[@CaptainZaimon]

Pretty Little Psycho feels like what Yansim's story would be if the creator ever consumed any media other than porn and videogames.

[@RubykonCubes3668]

Omg that's so true actually 😭

[@knightmericproductions77]

Honestly, that feels a little too true.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

In other words, YandereDev would have been even worse weeaboo trash.

[@Enoemen]

Love how every other book Krimson has reviewed were self-inserts about being the ultimate badass warrior, lover or whatever. This guy is just so thrilled to be an accountant. Also is the only one to make Krimson give-up. And it's by far the shortest book. Kind've amazing in its own way. Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant: You bow to no one!

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

I wish I could express the same love and enthusiasm for my art. Like, you do you, you funky little accountant you.

[@DerVasto]

I usually refrain from calling people boring, but.. This just SCREAMS "I'm a boring person" at me.

[@ikarikid]

He’s not boring. He’s a Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant!

[@Tareltonlives]

♫It's fun to charter an accountant And sail the wide accountancy! ♫

[@mksabourinable]

My brother is autistic and his special interest is math (and physics). I've listened to his infodumps about math and physics. Even that shit is more interesting and I never understand any of it bc I have discalculia lol (Also my brother has a deep monotonous voice.... So.... Easy... To zone... Out!) That said: you know what if you love what you do then good for you

[@englebertmagentaschweiger1447]

I swear Titus Uno etc. sounds like someone you'd encounter in Ace Attorney.

[@eirianstarlesschild521]

he gave me strong Luke Atmey vibes tbh

[@tobyjack1238]

The villain being named Cleft Treble made me instantly think of Ace Attorney.

[@englebertmagentaschweiger1447]

@@tobyjack1238 Not to mention Titus Uno sounding right at home with Phoenix Wright and Apollo Justice.

[@nobodyknowsimalizard]

it's a shite p0rn0 name is what it is

[@videogame1581]

This Whole Book is like a case from Ace Attorney Investigations 2.

[@sora1498]

nobody: my sleep paralysis demon: "i, titus uno-"

[@roadbreach]

*add in a demonic voice effect*

[@Doodletones]

I was in a Discord call while watching this with three others watching via screenshare. We all put down guesses as to why the explosion happened. one said he blew it up for the money one said that there was an injustice with the employees one said he was mad about being beat in a chess game I jokingly said there was some stupid romantic subplot we didn't hear from... When you stated WHAT actually was the reason, I yelled "I was JOKING!"

[@KrimsonRogue]

Try being the guy who READ the book. I had to put the book down and complain to anyone within earshot!

[@HelplessFangirl]

Holy fuck, did not expect to see doodle here.

[@nanotfound1042]

@@KrimsonRogue Was reading this book like reading a mytho's tome But instead of being blessed (or cursed) with mind shattering cosmic truth you were instead cursed with major amounts of stress and want to quit reading for all eternity?

[@lauramaue]

My guess was that he was an architect who hated how the building looked. STILL less stupid than the actual reason.

[@AutisticAccountant]

I wanna say that as the resident accountant and forensic accounting student that The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements does not reflect who we are or what we do as so-called "people".

[@universalperson]

The fact that he thinks that "terrorism against a building" is an actual crime...or that he thinks any bombing of a building is terrorism makes me question his skills as an accountant. Sure, just because you're work with math and finance doesn't mean you know anything about the law, but if you're an accountant there should be _some_ overlap.

[@AutisticAccountant]

@@universalperson Accountants work a lot with lawyers so legal speak does rub off on us frequently, even criminal prosecutors (especially forensic accountants) but mostly when it comes to financial crime (fraud, tax evasion etc.). In Thrash's defense he probably just screwed that up, but really he should've done his research.

[@KrimsonRogue]

I'm just commenting to say that this exchange made me burst out laughing!

[@montythepython535]

How are these comments days old when the video is hours old?

[@Wired_User]

Holy shit your username! You really are an accountant, huh? But are you a certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant?

[@TravisBroski]

“If there is a book worse than this keep it the FUCK away from me!” *casually suggests ‘A Pickle for the Knowing Ones’ by Timothy Dexter*

[@deadmanreading3152]

Wow... this looks interesting. With a whole story behind the story and everything.

[@TravisBroski]

@@deadmanreading3152 Timothy Dexter himself is a very interesting individual. Look up Sam O’Nella’s video on him.

[@unexpected2475]

Get him to read the brick of punctuation at the end, PLEASE.

[@jasonsmith8802]

Having read Dexter's book, this one is worse. A Pickle for the Knowing Ones is at least funny. It's basically KZbin Poop as a book.

[@SolidSock8008]

JNREL

[@Claypidgeon162]

He defeats the "cat burglar terrorist" in this book, then faces off against the "dine and dash seditionist" in the sequel. And in the third book, his team has to track down the "jaywalking rapist".

[@RoninCatholic]

But what if the Jaywalking Rapist gets elected to public office?

[@Pikeya]

@@RoninCatholic hes going after the jsywalking rapist for tax evasion

[@jdotleaf]

I can't wait to follow Titus Uno in the fourth book as he battles the "public disturbance arsonist" and in the fifth book, the "vandal human trafficker."

[@fidget0227]

@@jdotleaf Ooooh boy, wait until you get to book 6 against the Shoplifting Mass-Murderer.

[@sanfransiscon]

@@jdotleaf The vandal human trafficker: only kidnaps those who litter or graffiti

[@skyblade7438]

The fact that The Art of War is the most visible book on the throne feels strangely fitting for these reviews. Also, *they called their protagonist Titus Uno?!*

[@deacon6453]

Who's Titus Uno? Surely you mean Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant, right?

[@skyblade7438]

@@deacon6453 Of course I do. My apologies.

[@DerVasto]

He might win more often at a certain card game.

[@beckstheimpatient4135]

And the female who was there to turn down romantic interest was named Valentine. And TREBLE CLEF. And 'Spider' Webb.

[@unitedfools3493]

You didn't notice "The Nightmare" on the lower left?

[@The_age_of_aquarius_]

The writing style of 64 Squares is me when I’m trying to hit the minimum word count for an essay

[@BlazingKhioneus]

It's the writing style of the United States once we abolish pronouns.

[@Lucifersfursona]

@@BlazingKhioneus you used one. I’m telling your dad

[@Nixahma]

me when i get paid by how much i piss off my readers

[@Nixahma]

​@@Lucifersfursona they used two, actually- "it's" and "we". Double blunder on their part

[@basedokadaizo]

@@BlazingKhioneus okay BlazingKhioneus, KZbin User

[@Alexis01295]

Titus Uno also sounds like a Shakespeare character who'd be killed off in five minutes, to make way for the actual plot.

[@datawolf39]

I need that as a fanfic like yesterday lol

[@k.morningstar7983]

*Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead* exists. but it's actually REALLY good

[@LittleMisZorua]

The second book is like if all the ‘people die when they are killed’ memes were thrown into a blender

[@jettythesunfish]

The Archer class really is made up of Archers!

[@stevensarmiento2603]

Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right!

[@mAceOfHearts]

The strangest thing about that sentence is that it makes complete sense and is entirely appropriate in context.

[@sanfransiscon]

Titus Uno's list of titles is actually the chant for his Noble Phantasm. Unlimited Accounting Works

[@thatoneguy9582]

I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid

[@elena_1776]

"Another case solved till the next case that is unsolved" is my favorite line of any book

[@literaturmurks]

'Checkmate!'

[@someanon1984]

This man writes like Mojo Jojo with a degree in accounting.

[@therustycrossbow]

this made me chortle

[@addicted2mako]

The only difference is that Mojo Jojo gets to the point more quickly

[@rokkraljkolesa9317]

if Mojo Jojo had like 3 degrees, you mean

[@TK0921]

Oh my god, you're so right. lol

[@cymond]

I NEED a 64-SQUARES audiobook read by Mojo Jojo!

[@DaysEnd-of2wh]

You could shorten cat burglar terrorist to "CBT" to mildly enhance the reading experience

[@Nevernamed]

"You know what could make reading this book slightly more fun? CBT" is not a sentence I expected to read today

[@MinatheRaichu]

@@Nevernamed not expected, but not surprised

[@vincenttorrijos9680]

@@Nevernamed But he aint wrong

[@flyingfish5054]

So CBT causes buildings to explode?

[@TheArbitraryAce]

This is funny because the type of therapy I do is CBT

[@rainylupin]

Why is literally the entire cast of characters in that 64 Squares book named like they're straight out of an Ace Attorney game

[@SorowFame]

Maybe this started out as Ace Attorney fanfiction?

[@lmaolini]

i thought I was the only one thinking that😭😭

[@oliviamcnally7030]

I wish this was as entertaining as an Ace Attorney game!

[@heidiknabe9669]

Imagining Gumshoe just staring at him as he rattles off that list… Um…okay pal.

[@SirAndischa]

Thats why I, Cato Sicarrius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine, decided, that I, Cato Siccarius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine, would lead my, Cato Siccarius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine, squad into the eye of Terror so that I, Cato Siccarius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine could retrieve Magnus the Read and bring him back to Terra.

[@fredranzalot4849]

I'll be honest, I could imagine an Ultramarine talking like that.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

Titus Uno even sounds like a name of an Ultramarine

[@DesolatedChild018]

I'm 100% sure every single Imperium officer talks like Titus Uno. Specially if it is an Inquisitor.

[@brainletmong6302]

I knew I'd find an Emperor TTS reference in the comments section somewhere.

[@TheBonkleFox]

Repetition is heresy. Prepare to be purged.

[@winraw6113]

Krimson's mental health is stronger than that book throne, Jesus.

[@SorowFame]

It’s so strong it’s dogproof.

[@3353080]

Books for the Book Throne! Storys for the storyteller god! Let the internet burn!

[@kristyanrichtr8959]

@@3353080 I don't know why, but this feels like "Blood for the blood god" reffernce-

[@bmljenny]

If there's a voice actor guild, they should have a hazing ritual that is recording an audiobook of 10 random pages from the 64 Squares book.

[@amandasmith2740]

The only hazing I can support

[@lzrshark617]

Or 10 pages of Empress Theresa and this back to back, and if they break character, they have to start over

[@mutantmaster1]

The image of (insert favorite VA here) silently crying as they read is somehow hillarious

[@elenaobradovic4181]

Take a shot every time the author writes “Titus Uno Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant”. You certainly won’t make it to the end of the book but that would probably be preferable to actually reading it

[@TaoScribble]

I can't remember if it's this book or another of his, but apparently there's 90 instances of that phrase in it. Goodbye, liver.

[@aileencrain6558]

Halfway through chapter one you’ll be rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisoning

[@SorowFame]

@@TaoScribble I didn’t know how that was possible until I reached around 1:09:13, he literally says his full name and title every time he refers to himself.

[@thatoneguy9582]

shot as in gunshot or

[@khhnator]

@@thatoneguy9582 might as well... you gonna die anyway

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

“There’s no way _ANYONE_ can write something worse than this” *cracks knuckles* Edit: Okay, I don’t think I can write worse than this. *uncracks knuckles*

[@ninaakeldama3812]

why do I relate to the action of uncracking knuckles

[@AlienZizi]

every college essay i handed in is worse than this

[@nicestpancake]

Highkey think my 8th grade creepypasta fanfiction had more to enjoy

[@someonenoone3687]

I think that to write something worse you'd need to blatantly plagiarize the 64 Squares. Because for the first time it's kinda amusing but if it was repeated beat for beat it would become much worse.

[@rowandoyle7]

Every time the book says '"I, Titus Uno", all I can here is "It was ME, DIO!"

[@psychokinrazalon]

Two JoJo reference comments atop each other.

[@Bigburton3]

Both the main character and the author’s name’s sound like stand users

[@DoubleADwarf]

complete with the soundtrack like -JO JO- U NO 🎹🎹 🎵🎶🎵🎵 GOLDEN WEEEEEND 🎹🎹 🎵🎶🎵🎵

[@loreleiramirez2798]

I actually thought that the Accountant book was some kind of accounting book that is required by classes in university (it certainly looks like the university books I had, I'm no accountant). The formatting looks like a thesis manuscript as well. To my surprise, is actually a work of fiction.

[@samkuperman9035]

Same! I literally thought it was some kind of academic thing, not something with a narrative I guess Mr. Thrash CPA GPA AFK is just that boring lmao

[@TravisBroski]

“Work of fiction” is quite a strong title to call this

[@marocat4749]

There are charming accountants, ceryl figgins for example, but i think badass acountant leads either to some covering up of some public affairs, a accountant inside exposing, a accountand suffering due some , maybe make him an accountant wit some weird element, one having to work with a jerk agent, something to play finances off. An accountant come to work with demons and whatever and the badass accountant works best as joke because its unlikely useful, some bureaucracy with demons, chuthulu. Or a blackmailed accountant, Like kafka was using his work as inspiration, as lawyer. Accountant from hell with makin an alternate but reasonable finance , create a fantasy finance system with a fantastical accountant and action involved there fitting with it being fantasy. But saying something about real injustice in the system And humor, never forgt humor, humor can make up for a lot.

[@marocat4749]

Ithink if he could get an idea about writing, he might have more working bizarre trashy but fun humor. Maybe even shart humor. If its mor interesting.

[@Oscar-----]

At least Empress Theresa and the Onision books had the decency to be absurd enough to become etretaining in a rage-fueled masochistic kind of way.

[@SpecialInterestShow]

A real plot twist would have been if Titus had actually been the one to blow up the building due to some sort of small accounting blunder that butterfly-effected out of control

[@SB_Wayne]

So this is our version of Doug Dimmadone, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?

[@ALIEN-DUDE]

That's right doug Dimmadome the owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome thank you for locating my long lost son Dale Dimmadome who is the next owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome fortune.

[@corsaircarl9582]

Hi I'm Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome and I'm here to Dimmatell you that I, Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome doesn't give a Dimmadamn about what you think of me, Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome.

[@FoxtrotMouse]

@@corsaircarl9582 That should be the book description.

[@DoubleADwarf]

_Not right!_ "Not right?" _That's right!_

[@tylertheguy3160]

The more time goes by, the more Krimson resembles Jesus.

[@UnprofessionalProfessor]

Agreed...let's nail his ass to a tree.

[@lunarballoonistxo]

I'm so glad my husband cut his hair but do what you want, of course haha

[@spiderperry489]

I call it the Cr1tikal effect

[@corruptangel6793]

With every terrible book he reads, Krim gets closer to enlightenment and transcendence

[@KrimsonRogue]

Did I accidentally start a cult? o.o The hell did I walk into here?

[@Toskin]

"I, Titus Uno, I'm-Not-Gonna-Read-All-That" "I, Titus Uno, More-Stuff-Than-I-Gonna-Repeat" "I, Titus Uno, Blah-Blah-Blah" "I, Titus Uno, Bullshit-Name-Stuff" "Titus Uno, Name-Junk, and the Forensic Certified Public Accountant team: These Jackholes" "I, Titus Uno, All-These-Titles-Bullshit-Again" I have no words for how glorious those are.

[@jaynedavis4712]

Constructive criticism is key to the development of any artistic/literary enterprise

[@katiecauser]

So very true. And yet it's so difficult to actually convince people to criticize your work. Even when you beg them to. We can only improve when we know what our weaknesses are.

[@GameTavern2224]

Watching these reviews have honestly been a big help with my own writing

[@tobyastro7194]

Yup

[@ShammyKat]

I'm currently working on a writing piece. (It's been a long planning and creative process. Starting to finnally get to actually typing the first draft now. ) But once I have a finished product. I want Krimson to tear it to shreds. Like, this project may be my baby, but I really do want someone to harshly tear it apart after it's done. Just because, well criticism is great, and I think it would be fun having someone pick it apart.

[@petehill7280]

Indeed. T.S. Eliot put it best in his essay Tradition and The Individual Talent-- 'we might remind ourselves that criticism is as inevitable as breathing, and that we should be none the worse for articulating what passes in our minds when we read a book and feel an emotion about it, for criticizing our own minds in their work of criticism.'

[@Myoron]

I literally shouted "NO" when he started on the 4th repetition of his name and titles. This is insanity!

[@Ramsey276one]

Be proud of your job... Just...DON'T VOCALLY MASTURBATE TO IT!

[@Ramsey276one]

1:11:05 THANK YOU! :D

[@xenon8927]

I swear the author of 64 squares has a custom keyboard with an "I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant" button.

[@katierandall9191]

I used to create autocorrect options in Word for citing authors and study names in essays so I didn't have to type the whole thing out each time...this really reminded me of that.

[@geneva1895]

motive guesses: -revenge for being fired -in love with the valentine lady (I'm guessing this solely because she had valentine in her name) -pissed that he lost at human chess -OH MY GOD WAS HE A PIECE THAT GOT KILLED IN CHESS EDIT: OH MY GOD I DID IT

[@Shad0wN1ck]

Congrats

[@SN-bp8lc]

When I read this comment I assumed the right guess would be the human chess part because at least it’d tie into the game /book name and theme but … no … not at all

[@videogame1581]

Congraturation, this story is happy end.

[@choose282]

Congrats, you're insane!

[@enby_kensei]

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" My dad is Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant.

[@sciverzero8197]

so... As per the Japanese legal system, and more importantly, the Japanese SOCIAL system, Akira IS a murderer. She took an action which resulted in the death of another person. _Circumstance does not matter._ Even if the law decided she was not deserving of punishment somehow, the social repercussions would follow her forever, and she would be labeled a vicious willful killer by everyone around her, regardless of anything else. Japanese social structure is very hyper-terrified of any kind of unlawful behavior, and as previously noted, that extends to accidental lawbreaking. If someone were accused of having once possessed any amount of marijuana for example, that person would probably be blacklisted from almost every socially acceptable place. People would cower from that person, and would refuse to go near them for fear of being associated with a _dangerous criminal._ This same sort of hypervigilance applies in kind to homosexuality. There are exceptions... but that's what they are: _exceptions._ Similarly, police manhandling suspects is not above the board... but not ... unheard of either... anywhere. However, as per the Japanese side of things, the inspector being told to drop the case because its been resolved, in spite of knowing there is another culprit... actually pretty true to life. Japan's legal system doesn't try cases that aren't a 100% conviction chance, so if someone confesses and puts forth enough evidence to prove their guilt... even if it's fabricated... that case is effectively closed... unless someone can prove that the evidence presented is invalid _before_ the trial takes place... as mentioned, if you see a trial start, you know what the verdict is going to be. The biggest problem with the tone of this book seems to be more the optimism of Akira assuming she can ever have a normal life, after having been exposed to this much drama.. because drama itself is a kind of violent crime per Japan. And, aside from that, the whole thing does have a certain air of "How an outsider would view another culture, having not lived in it." That's not to say its wrong... but it does seem more tropal than plausible. It reads on the surface like a Japanese light novel, with all the tropes and themes you can list from such... but I can't shake the feeling that, much like a Japanese writer might _choose_ to depict things in a more than strictly authentic way, this writer has... perhaps _unintentionally_ also stretched a few cultural ideas too thin, or just failed to recognize some very important ones that aren't present. I can only wonder whether this is more a product trying to tell a foreign story, or a story trying to mimic a foreign style.

[@Mangocakegurl]

Thank you for your comment! It was really jnformative

[@peccantis]

Just being violent with another student and destroying her phone would be enough to effectively destroy her, socially. Just being suspended from school would be really hard to really recover from. Being associated with someone's death... a violent death... Forget it. Even if she was merely a close relative of someone who was associated with that sort of thing would make her a pariah.

[@oystersoup3434]

Yeahh, the book was REALLY mediocre. Generic and mediocre. The Japanese setting is just so risky to write in 'cause it's so different.

[@magencrisis1682]

Finally, a comment that isn't about the accountant's book! I thought the same while listening to the review. I found it really difficult to suspend my disbelief

[@Shaun_Jones]

As an American, that kind of thing sounds insane. If the US adopted such a social system, the first thing you would see is that the suicide rate would skyrocket to such a degree that life expectancy would go right through the floor. Probably 60% of kids would kill themselves due to peer pressure before they graduated high school. I have never broken the law in this country and I have still done things that would apparently get me disowned by society in Japan.

[@MasterHayate]

I don't think Dwight Thrash has ever actually read a book before. He just heard what they were and decided to try it out for himself.

[@deltaknight2764]

I think how he writes in GENERAL is just math. Plain English is illogical to him.

[@samuellaakso7012]

This got me thinking. My theories are: A) He was homeschooled. I'm not american, so I'm not fully clear on american education system, but what I have collected from american popculture is that they are made to read at least a few books during school. Wich means he was probably never forced to read a fictional book, still homeschooled well enough to get to be educated for whatever he has all those titles. B) He simply has never read a book that he liked and desided to write something he would want to read. Or C) he's some kind of neurodivergence on autism spectrum and he has difficulties understanding neurotypical interractions, including books.

[@kiethveseyofficial]

@@samuellaakso7012 After all Albert Einstein was also autistic as well

[@samuellaakso7012]

@@kiethveseyofficial what has Einstein got to do with this?

[@unexpected2475]

@@samuellaakso7012 Someone here in the comments tossed out that the insane redundancy of the book's text is reminiscent of what you'd find in actual accounting documents, so perhaps he got that from there. I think you're on something there with the required reading as well; it's apparently not uncommon for Americans to never read after they leave school (I'm not american either so I can't confirm this personally) and that's apparently connected to the just hating it, so he might have just made a book he liked with the "skills" he learned in accounting.

[@NerdySatyr]

Titus Uno sounds like he's having a god damn *STROKE*

[@ALIEN-DUDE]

Eh YeEAsS

[@MrSomaArikado]

What do you mean its obvious he had a stroke. Hes just well on his way to his millionth one

[@AutisticAccountant]

He sounds like he's higher on the spectrum than I am.

[@anautilus2004]

Excuse me, that's Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant to *you*

[@QJ89]

"I, Mojo Jojo, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant, will proceed to write the most boringly pretentious publication of fiction mankind has ever seen!" "While I, Mojo Jojo, am on a related topic, was there not a book about vampires? I, Mojo Jojo, was promised vampires!"

[@AoBzealot0812]

1:07:27 Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison? I can not accept that someone did that unironically.

[@sfsin3380]

As someone who was bullied had it ignored and then moved schools Akira's mistrust in teachers is perfectly realistic. My new school was different but I was still in the mindset the old school had left me in. I still let things go that I shouldn't have because "what the point in complaining no one ever does anything" despite the fact that this was a completely different set of people and when something happened that was plain to see (I was egged) the new school acted immediately instead of acting like my old school where a teacher once completely dismissed a complaint because I used the word rock instead of stone. Wish I was kidding about that but it was the incident that convinced my parent to give up on that school so it had one good result. Similarly I learned latter form an ex classmate that my old bully started getting in serious trouble in secondary(high) school because it was a different school and the teachers weren't putting up with her BS and they couldn't believe it. They where so used to her getting away with stuff that her actually getting in trouble was a shock.

[@impimpoundment4943]

Totally agree

[@curleyqreviews9793]

If I was your parent I would have thrown the rock at the teacher then asked if a stone or a rock hurts more.

[@RoninCatholic]

"Used the word rock instead of stone" when the two are synonyms. A chunk of hard minerals is a chunk of hard minerals. It's like saying "They didn't take me seriously because I said was bitten by a dog instead of saying pooch"

[@sfsin3380]

@@RoninCatholic pretty much teacher in question said a rock is bigger than a stone so I'd have bruises if they'd really been throwing rocks at me. To add to the whole thing the bruised showed up a couple of hours latter (you know because bruises take time to develop) and she still refused to belive me.

[@danielkhan1]

@@sfsin3380 How in the world does someone become a teacher, see a child so obviously getting bullied, and then "correct" the most minute shit about a complaint just to dismiss it. A rock is bigger than a stone?? If that person isn't the biggest piece if shit I've ever heard of.

[@TheAdrift]

When his titles were read for the fifth time, I was like “OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!” “You may have noticed that he repeats his titles an unnecessary amount of times” YEAH, WE NOTICED

[@emmakelley5371]

It's all he's got going for him. I mean if you had the personality of a bowl of tepid porridge but could string your name out long enough that people would never find that out you might consider it.

[@Hannahcantcometothephone]

Squares has so much potential to be absolutely hilarious and interesting. I'd read a book about a nosey CPA that wishes he'd gotten into the FBI and fumbles his way into a terror investigation and gets it wrong at every turn. Everyone around him could be way more competent, but Dunning Krueger just keeps on trucking thinking he should be in charge. Bonus points if he accidentally solves the case.

[@Briarbeans]

where is this episode of pink panther

[@kylamamber9080]

The idea of an accountant constantly trying to be a part of an investigation but only keeps getting in the way actually sounds hilarious. Too bad it wasn't written that way.

[@yoshikagekira3416]

Be me: Just rewatched all 3+ hours of Reaper’s Creek and all 7+ hours of Empress Theresa... HOW could it get ANY worse?

[@anautilus2004]

Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant, has your answer.

[@oz_jones]

@@anautilus2004 I fear no man, but that thing... it scares me.

[@serencefrostbite3362]

*insert "to be continued" meme here*

[@justacatwithasadface2692]

I feel like we need to appreciate how Pretty Little Psycho writes Onision's protagonists in a more believable way than he himself ever could.

[@sammyeveret6401]

as an author, I crave someone like Krimson reviewing my work but I am also so terrified of my stuff being torn apart like this oml

[@Inanedata]

Hey, I like making random commitments. If you send me your book I'll make a video review of your book within 2, maybe 3 months of recieving it. I've never made a video review but hey you've never had your book video reviewed, right? Win-win.

[@addheading]

Bro, same.

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

Omg same here. If he tore it apart I might cry...

[@Eriennexton]

as an author, I would be enraptured at the notion of Krimson reading my book. Even if he tore it apart, he'd do it in a way to make me cry-laugh. So it's a win-win.

[@frisolaxod3835]

Look. You'll never be as bad as Onision. You're probably like 50 times better than him. Hell, I haven't ever wrote almost anything and just because I actually read I'm probably like 20 times better than him. EDIT: You'll also never be as bad as those authors he rips apart. You'd have to try really, REALLY, REEEEALLY hard to be as bad as them. I'm actually sure I could pull up like 5 writers from AO3 that I like and they could write better books

[@SJKlapecki]

When it takes this long to explain how bad a book this thin is, you know it's good.

[@phoebe2675]

Imagine if the author snuck in small details where Titus did things exactly 64 times, and at the end of the book there’s an epilogue where someone reflects on something, and through that they discover that maybe the dude they thought did it didn’t do it, and it ends with something like “I, Titus Uno, name stuff, declare checkmate”, and through some logic, it’s revealed that Titus blew the building up

[@josephpercy8772]

No but that would actually be good.

[@evenlysquared3797]

"I'll just have a small coffee, thanks." "Can I get a name for that please?" "Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant." (When Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant buys coffee)

[@justyouraveragecorgi]

This made me laugh in the middle of class.

[@evenlysquared3797]

@@justyouraveragecorgi This is the highest medal of honor

[@hotchfucker]

I had to click read more to see the rest of his name... I-

[@sailorskj9002]

Fun fact:Uno is just his middle name

[@JeevesAnthrozaurUS]

I, Titus Uno, Forklift Certified, began to operate the forklift, which I, Titus Uno, Forklift Certified, was certified to operate.

[@anthonyshanaman5637]

I just got promoted to lead. No more forklift for me lol

[@useless2482]

Don't dis forklift drivers, they're at the tip of the pyramid.

[@55drako]

As someone who works in an accounting office, I would like to say that this feels very much what an accountant would write. I work in audit, and while not I CPA, when I heard about the building being blown up and an auditor called to figure out how it would affect the books, I though "Would you not just impair the asset and write it down to it's fair value. Which should just be $0." How is that the climax? That is like your starting point. Also his copy and paste style is likely due to how boiler-plate technical accounting writing is. You don't get paid more for writing pretty sentences so you should put enough information to get your point across. To hell with making it easily readable. This is about being quickly writable. And when it comes to infantile prose... Honestly that is the way you have to talk to most people in my field. You have to lead people by the nose and never expect anyone to know anything because that is often the case. This plot was also a terrible choice for an auditor to play a pivotal role. Okay, so I don't know what forensic auditors do. I'm ignorant on that. But, I do think that a story with an auditor protagonist can work. I mean you're dealing with money, people with selfish motivations, and working to find people trying to hide their actions. There is conflict to be had. I think it would have worked better as a more down to earth story, having an antagonist that was siphoning money from a local Mom & Pop shop. The reader would want to see these nice people running this business succeed and the culprit brought to justice. Have a bit of Sherlock Holmes investigation just with more numbers. And accounting is actually very little math. It is just addition, subtraction, and multiplying. Most of accounting is how the numbers are grouped. So explaining how the numbers effect who is the suspect does not have to be too dry. In all, the writer should have expected more out of people who would actually read for fun and not spell out every mundane event or occurrence. He should have actually spent the time to make it easily readable as opposed to the work-papers you hand to the regulating body for them to figure out. And he probably should have had a conflict that would have actually been solved by an auditor. Hope this shed some light on how an account views this story.

[@kwarra-an]

A forensic accountant could even play a big role in uncovering some very serious crime, like massive multinational corruption. They've also contributed to murder cases getting solved, by providing motive and pointing to suspects. There's potential here! Thanks for providing your insight - I also got a real "[bad] technical writing" vibe from a lot of the excerpts.

[@k.morningstar7983]

if this were a good writer, it very well could have been a black comedy the Coen bros. would have made, a la *Fargo*. but the accountant would have been just one character in a larger cast of other leads, really

[@jojol.2630]

I was about to contest your first sentence, but then I remembered I’m an accountant who’s been creatively writing my entire life. Lol

[@katiecauser]

Edit: if anyone has questions for me(author of Pretty Little Psycho) you're welcome to reply to this comment and I'll get back to you. 😁 I'm glad my book could ease the pain of the other one for you Krimson. Thank you for the wonderful criticism. Unfortunately, a bit late to apply it to the second book, but I will definitely take the points to heart moving forward and work to improve myself. Thanks again for taking the time to look at it and provide an honest review! Helps me so very much. You also had me in stitches with all of the clips thrown in, especially the ones involving Takashi. ^_^

[@KrimsonRogue]

I'm looking forward to the rest of the series. I might need to read the sequel to help me recover from reading 'Ready Player Two'. I can honestly say that your worldbuilding and action scenes are MUCH better than Ernest Cline's. And I don't mean that as a matter of opinion, I mean objectively.

[@katiecauser]

@@KrimsonRogue We all shine in our own ways. I'm glad that you feel my worldbuilding is a strength of mine, although I personally feel like my action scenes are lacking. Kind of bad, considering later books have a LOT more action. ^_^ Despite the one-note characters in this book, I do feel character building is a strength too. Hopefully that shines through more so in Vol 2, but only time will tell.

[@fatezaragosa2540]

So I dont know if it was on purpose but Akiras name immediately reminded me of light from death note which set me up to think of her as someone who may do bad thing but with solid reasoning. I think the name association was good in framing the character. Also yes Krimson I dont know why people like Ready player one so much that book sucked and I refuse to read the sequel.

[@katiecauser]

@@fatezaragosa2540 I've actually never seen Death Note before. Despite the theming, I'm really not that big of a fan of anime. I enjoy the artistic style and expressive animation of it, but very few ever gripped me storywise. But, thank you for the compliment. Originally I had a far different name for Akira, but I am very happy to have the current name I have for her.

[@UltaFlame]

@@katiecauser if very few have, would you mind talking about the ones that did?

[@AnonyMous-gj7qq]

"The task is an overwhelming task" BROKE ME please send help

[@carlosotavi0]

1:13:21 timestamp

[@swimmyswim417]

Coming back to this several months later, and honestly a mystery/thriller novel with an accountant investigating the aftermath of a horrible tragedy actually has some promise. You could explore the psychological impact of trying to logic your way through a traumatic event, and the idea of an accountant accidentally stumbling across a massive conspiracy and being way out of his element is hilarious. I want to know what goes on in the heads of folks who write objectively terrible books. Like, do they think writing a book is just detailing things and events without needing any point behind it?

[@k.morningstar7983]

like, sometimes you can't help thinking of ways that their premise/characters/you name it, could have been made BETTER then you look at the prose, and, oh no--

[@TauGeneration]

funny enough , there is a series where an accountant of a rich woman who inherited everything from her father that had basically everything, found out that a tragedy that linked her with 4 of her friends in a airplane crash that happened was revealed that happened by her father in order to buy more companies to get more money. i hope this is comprehensible enough without using the names of the characters

[@ohshit4860]

@@TauGeneration sounds interesting. What's it called?

[@TauGeneration]

@@ohshit4860 well.. it's not translated into English. and besides, it's not the main focus of the series. the series is about the 5 friends who have nothing in common besides the plain crash and a murder(from poisoning) that they witnesses in an elevator.

[@fidget0227]

Drew Samson: “So why’d you invite us here?” Dina Hope: “Yeah, why did you?” Tidus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant: “The reason you’re here is reasonable.”

[@ASpooneyBard]

"I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant, have brought you here to assist is the forensic investigation of the unsolved case I, Tidus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant, have been hired to investigate. It sound like fun!"

[@alexjewett7455]

Drew Samson: "That-that's not an answer. Who put this idiot in charge?"

[@TheEldritchGod]

Dina Hope: Have we met? Tidus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant: No, we have not. I am Tidus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant.

[@ErinHonor]

the fact that the book looks like one of my college textbooks is already stressing me out

[@coreysenn9894]

As a former field technician for construction sites, the writing style resembles the structure of the daily reports I had to submit for the activity of the contractors I had to observe. I did often find myself using Copy-Paste techniques for quickly submitting the same information over and over, but that was usually data from report to report and seldom in the same one. The idea was that you wanted the report to be as detailed - and concise - as possible so that it could easily be understood, especially if it needed to be cited for something like a lawsuit. However, I at least understood the functions of a thesaurus and tried my best to keep myself from sounding redundant on a regular basis. That being said, I personally think it's a miracle that this author was able to type out this story (or any of his reports for that matter) without his computer exploding from the sheer number of errors on display in every page.

[@maluridae_]

I legit sat there thinking "I'm sure I could get through without laughing" - my face when you attempted that one single sentence where he declares his title over and over... haha I am done already

[@amberrizzi1207]

That’s what got me, too. I had to pause the video to catch my breath!

[@xChikyx]

i was like: 🤔😐🙃😳😨😱🤯

[@BlueLizardKing]

Dude, make a wooden frame for the throne; just make it wide enough so you can stack the books inside, and we won't see the frame.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Eh. I should, but that would take away from my reading time. :P

[@midnight8341]

@@KrimsonRogue you mean the reading time you spent on reading "copy and paste bullshit, the novella"...?

[@Anon-zl7zw]

@@KrimsonRogue why not ask for someone to build the frame for you? Take some basic measurements, send them off and you should be good

[@ZielonaPastela]

I've seen some dope DIY projects for those.

[@jackhazardous4008]

@@KrimsonRogue you'd save time setting up your throne

[@MarkTuchinsky]

"The task is an overwhelming task", made me actually laugh out in the wide-open of my room.

[@Fenikagegami]

The motive was “The terrorist was an accountant was fired for misplacing a decimal point in his reports”

[@PepperPopovic]

I wish Tito Uno had mentioned his job at least once, now I feel curious about what his job title is :(

[@TravisBroski]

I mean judging by the subtlety of the book, I have to assume something to do with being an accountant? I dunno, I’m not an English teacher.

[@EchoNK3]

I think it was mentioned once or twice off handedly but I’m not exactly sure since it was just so short and subtle

[@datawolf39]

He had a job? Dang I must have missed that bit.

[@ShayLaLaLooHoo]

You mean he had a name?? Not even Daphne du Maurier was brave enough to do that!

[@cementcar9196]

Why is nobody talking about his name is TITUS UNO. Does he have a dad called Vespasian? A brother called Domitian? He is named after a roman emperor and a NUMBER.

[@Zelda00Gamer]

I worked at school where there was a little boy named Titus. It’s not great

Huh, I was thinking of _Titus Andronicus,_the Shakespeare play at became the feel-good movie of the 20th Century.

[@lamidene8139]

@ I actually went looking for the origins of the name Titus because I was suspicious he had named the character the equivalent of “great one” turns out Titus was the sixth most popular Roman boys name

[@TheBonkleFox]

A distant cousin named Nigel, perhaps?

[@psychokinrazalon]

I didn’t expect to see any comments pertaining to my own interests here. Did he finish the coliseum? Did he sack Jerusalem?

[@indiatoth1891]

Book Recommendation (please, for the love of god): Read "The Secret Life of Laszlo, Count Dracula" by Roderick Anscombe. I have never in my life read a book so insane. The plot summary on the book cover does not even remotely set up how bonkers this novel is. The writing isn't particularly bad (some of the word choice is questionable but it's alright), it's the story itself that is absolutely insane. The idea of the book sounds weird but it is so much worse. It was like watching a car wreck, it's awful but you keep reading because it's so mind-bogglingly strange that you just need to know what happens next. The whole time I was reading this book I kept thinking; "It can't possibly get weirder. It can't possibly get worse." and then it does. The ending made me want to throw myself out of a window. I need someone to understand what this book is like because Jesus Christ. This book will stick with me for the rest of my life. I think about it like once a week.

[@Kaleestraza]

It's spelled "summary"

[@darkdoka8941]

I hope he reviews this, it sounds like fun.

[@1Thunderfire]

This sounds like an entertaining, bizarro premise.

[@maggie1711]

I read this book a couple of months ago, bought it at a book charity a few years ago in a bag full of books and just never got around to reading it. I knew it was going to be a trip when in the beginning he was spying on his cousin and said he had a crush on her.. It was a really hard book for me to get through but I don't like leaving a book unfinished. Yeah, it was bad.

[@indiatoth1891]

@Potato King Both, honestly. That book is like watching a trainwreck.

[@wrenv7105]

I find it interestingly ironic that the second book has whatever to do with squares when the the protagonist CONTINUOUSLY TALKS IN CIRCLES.

[@andrejg4136]

All these squares make a circle. All these squares make a circle. All these squares make a circle...

[@mistermasterinahat]

I actually think that the CPA "terrorist" mystery novel would make for an excellent action comedy if put into the right hands. If I were making it into a movie, I would call it "I, Titus Uno," because of how many times that protagonist uses his name pretensiously. As an action comedy, I think the protagonist Titus Uno's real name is actually Trent Umber. He in reality is a very lonely and socially isolated nerd, and he creates this fantasy alter ego Titus Uno, in his own graphic novel, to fulfill his unmet desire to be appreciated by his peers and to feel important. Trent Umber has an insane fantasy of building his own pseudo "Justice League" with his coworkers and writes about it in his graphic novel (which is poorly written and drawn). But when Trent Umber hears about a real terror attack on the news (maybe the Nashville Christmas bombing?), he gathers what little friends he has to form the vigilante hero team of his dreams. Trent tries to ineptly insert himself into this real police case doing the only thing he knows how to do: CPA accounting. He then calls himself by the name of his graphic novel alter ego, Titus Uno, and his cravings for validation and love drives him to insane extremes that push him and his friends further into the police rabbit hole they weren't meant to solve. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

[@mattislindehag3065]

Then near the end when he has been brought low he gives up and does some accounting. Through that he manages to figure out how the terrorists are laundering their money and then he follows hidden money trail and manages to unveil that they have accounts in shady Hong Kong banks and cracks the organization wide open. Accounting is a very serious part of law enforcement. Especially when you are dealing with organized crime and terrorist organizations. The number one most desierable background you can have if you want to work for the FBI is accounting.

[@mistermasterinahat]

@@mattislindehag3065 I didn't know that. Shows what I know about law enforcement and accounting.

[@jessicar3291]

I would watch the heck out of this movie!

[@quietone2674]

Sounds like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Not in a bad way, mind you. I remember reading the short story in class and really liking it. When the movie came out I was like "why? There isn't really enough source material to draw out a full film." But this take on 64 Squares could easily stretch it to a two hour minimum and possibly longer.

[@rainer5212]

Trent Umber is a really awesome sounding name, ngl.

[@adrianinha19]

There's a movie called "The Accountant" with Ben Afflect, that is actually pretty good. So yeah, an accountant, when used correctly, can be make for an interesting character.

[@Tigger72383]

Thank you! I was wondering if anyone was going to bring this up. I love that movie

[@Bushwhacker-so4yk]

Warbreaker spoilers: Lightsong the Bold was an accountant before he died, and he is an awesome character and a hero, despite what he wants you to believe.

[@TheAdrift]

Accounting stories in general can be fascinating! I personally would love to read a well-written non-fiction account of someone personally involved in unmasking the Enron scandal. I was only 10 when it happened, but this video inspired me to go read a few of the facts, and... oh man. OH MAN, y’all. Two of the shell companies were called “ChewCo” and “JEDI.” You can’t make this shit up 🤣 someone who is good at translating accounting lingo into normal-people speak could get a great book out of that.

[@pluto3194]

Yeah but does it have Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant in it? Didn't think so bud, movie is trash.

[@no_i_in_kersten]

Random guess: Titus actually did it himself and he framed all these people for it.

[@sodaandstars4389]

Ok, but imagine if this was it, and the whole book was Titus playing dumb and trying to be unsuspecting and pointless, only for this reveal and Titus turns out as this master mind who tricked everyone. Boom, the writing does a complete 180 as well and the whole narration was a ruse so no one could stand talking to Titus.

[@jasonsmith8802]

"I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, Chartered Global Management Accountant, Illegal Arms Trade Accountant, Weapons Acquisition Trade Management Accountant, Certified Uncertified Domestic Terrorist, Uncertified Building Demolitions Operative, Uncertified Building Demolitions Overseer Accountant, and Certified Convicted Felon..."

[@mchsprod]

@@jasonsmith8802 Certified convicted felon moment

[@nameless7047]

I've been reading through the comment thread QnA from the author of Pretty Little Psycho and I'm genuinely surprised about how good their responses are to what people have to say. Even critical comments were taken well. This is how an author should be responding. The polar opposite of the author of Empress Theresa, if you will. Will definitely be reading the book (i skipped the section in this video to avoid spoilers).

[@katiecauser]

Thank you! I won't lie that some comments do hurt, but that's no reason to lash back out at people. All that would get me is an arguing match. Honestly, I'm just grateful for the ones who were critical, and gave the book a chance. So many wouldn't even give it a chance. If you do(or did) check it out, I hope you enjoyed it. If it was unavailable when you went to look into it I was doing a rewrite of the book to vastly improve upon it, but it should be available now.(and for cheaper!)

[@FragrenceAtMiracleEd]

I HATE that when Krimson said “try and guess it’s silly” I went like “meh it was probably a proposal thing” AND I WAS FUCING RIGHT?!???? I hate this

[@shawn576]

@@jarethtrottot569 **teleports behind you** psssh, nothin personnel, kid

[@ViewingChaos]

"Officer, I drop kicked this book in self defence!"- Sun-Tsu, Art of war

[@UnprofessionalProfessor]

Ah, yes...the NIV translation.

[@nicestpancake]

"If your opponent is of choleric temperment, seek to irritate him" - The Man Who Wrote 64 Squares, I think?

[@jamiejam9976]

Ah yes, the MCYTranslation

[@conjureroflifts]

1:09:50 You can't be serious. The author is taking the piss. I refuse to believe any rational human-being would write that and go, "Wow, this sentence sure is a banger!"

[@katierandall9191]

I don't think he's rational.

[@shadeshadow2347]

Right, the accountant, the accountant Titus Uno, Titus Uno who specifically does accounting, Titus Uno the accountant

[@shadeshadow2347]

@@brianblum6986 wrong lever!

[@datawolf39]

Why do we even have that lever!?

[@DragoLavinia]

...was this written by Mojo Jojo? Cause that's what it feels like when this guy adresses himself lmao

[@Horvath_Gabor]

Admit it, it would be a cool twist if at the end of the book, someone mentioned that he looks like a monkey in a suit with a brain-jar, and then a bunch of kindergartners would break into the office and beat him up.

[@paninihead4662]

how dare you disrespect mojo jojo like that

[@sharonspears-mandeville2369]

Mojo Jojo would write a better literary travesty than whomever wrote that book,and *_he'd_* be the _better writer/author than that guy,dude!_

[@angelcou254]

I felt the same! I had this feeling that I was listening to something written by Mojo Jojo, it is so weird.

[@xionkuriyama5697]

Clef was an accountant once, but his work was sabotaged, and he was framed for embezzlement. When he got out of prison, he had one desire--*revenge.* Edit: oh my god

[@faulkenmaze6644]

Hey Krimson, Mom says you can bring your DS over and sleepover tonight.

[@FonVegen]

Krimson - learning practical lessons in architecture by means of constructing a book throne to properly tear into awful books. Nice!

[@pina2672]

The Cat Burglar guy was rejected by Pam Valentine or whatever her name was. For revenge, he decided to blow up the building. EDIT: Oh my god, that wasn't too far off-

[@AnAverageGoblin]

the villain of the second book's lame name spells CBT.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

I want to believe it was deliberate

[@hunterchewning6725]

Man could you imagine if everyone had to refer to themselves with that kinda title every time?

[@NeroEsoteric]

"I, Cato Sicarius, Captain of the Second Company of the prestigious Ultramarines, Master of the watch, Knight champion of Macragge, etc..."

[@mksabourinable]

I, Kye S*******, .......unemployed due to disability, massive plant nerd? Yea ok it doesn't really work for everyone 😅

[@TravisBroski]

Daenerys ain’t got shit on Titus Uno

[@Ramsey276one]

I swear they would develop IRL subtitles, Anime-style! Or a Business card with the voice clip! XD

[@yawninglion1677]

This book is like when you need to reach the word limit in an essay, but only have five things to say.

[@HandsomeSassage]

My brain shut down after “this is the name this criminal has been given so that everyone that is involved in this case will know that this case is the one that is being discussed...”

[@Hello-uu9mq]

Same- My 6th grade fanfics had better descriptions 😭