This Christmas Mistake Changed Everything

So it's December 26th and you realize you really blew it on Christmas day. Oops. I woke up this morning (12/26) and realized that some things need to change from now on. In this video, I'm telling you what happened to mess up Christmas, what won't happen again, about some changes I'm making on this channel, and we also do some yard work and undecorate Christmas decorations.
Here's my other KZbin channel where you can hear video essays, thoughts about life, hearing age, health update, book reviews and more. We're basically "talking" about life on this one:
Just Talking About Life
/ @justtalkingaboutlife
Here are the clear acrylic pockets I use on my nightstand to store things: www.amazon.com...

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

How did your Christmas go? Do you have fun? Anything you wish you did differently? We had a pretty big "oops" happen here.

[@oldgreymarewholovestolaugh]

I have 6 adult children , when they were little I got them only 2 gifts for Christmas a toy or book and a clothing item My ex-husband, a dentist (his second career when he was in his 40's). I didn't want them to grow up being spoiled dentist's kids, I worked in dentistry for years before my husband left mechanical engineering ,I saw too many kids expecting things. As a Bible believing Born-again Christian I wanted them to know the true meaning of Christmas-celebrating the birth of Jesus

[@grapecrush6496]

Thank you for sharing. I had a horrible Christmas with my adult daughter who lives with me. I will be setting boundaries for the future. I'm not doing that again. Thanks

[@christinesotelo7655]

Really? I’d love to give good gifts to my children, one gift at a time. I had been a Jehovah’s Witness and they can’t celebrate Xmas. They’d get disfellowshipped and shunned. It’s hardest on JW children who cannot participate in school gift exchanges or celebrations so they are isolated during the parties. It was sad and empty and joyless and cruel. Now that we’re out of religion, we have a great time with great joy. It’s not Jesus’ birth really, yet all our love goes to Jesus. This year was very economically poor. There will be years like this. It’s life. I don’t like overindulgence yet I don’t like no celebration at all either. Balance. Do what you can. People are poor. Remember them. Perhaps they need help more than gifts.

[@oldgreymarewholovestolaugh]

The Christian celebration of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, however he is no longer a baby in the manger. He came to aearth for one reason, to die on the Cross for the sins of all mankind. The world has taken over the holidays to mean buying gifts they cannot afford to impress people they do not like.The young people nowadays expect very extravagant gifts, women drive themselves trying to have everything perfect the house , the meal, the decorations the gifts. Too many people try to outdo others. The real reason is not Santa and thousand dollar gifts for 10 year Olds. People needing to work extra hours because people want the newest phones, cars, fast fashion etc. Maybe the kids could use their parents time and attention and fewer things that add to the stress

[@ginj5375]

Stopped doing Christmas in 2004, and cut way back before that.

[@jimmyhoffa2458]

I told my 17 yr. old grandson Grammie wished I could have done more.(Christmas ) My grandson stood in front of me. put his hands on my shoulders looked in my eyes and his reply. Grammie I never want to hear those words coming out of your mouth again. If you hadn't adopted my dad I would not be here in front of you my, Grammie, nor have my Dad. My dad is the best, he loves us and his love keeps on and on. He is a great dad and I love him. He is the best gift. Warmed this Grsmmie's ♥️so much.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

What a wonderful grandson you have!!

[@ElizabethBSoCal]

That is beautiful!

[@sherriechampion7979]

❤❤😭😭

[@GoldenPowergardens]

Those young uns can be deep! A real blessing.

[@ConnieBlake44]

@@jimmyhoffa2458 So lovely to hear that 🙂

[@anneamus]

I don't give gifts. During the entire year, and around most holidays, I randomly give strangers a twenty dollar bill for no reason at all. I try to surprise people that look like they could use it. I tell the cart boys at Wal-Mart, "thanks for working so hard, here's a little something for a treat for you today." I love the surprised looks and most really say a heart felt "thank you". I quit giving to people who continue to expect me to put out, while not giving one shit about doing anything for me or anyone else. I don't have much, but I do what I can. It gives me great pleasure.

[@HeidiLindsey-jo8pe]

AMEN❤😊❤!!!

[@JosieTerraz]

I bought a replica YSL in *suluxy* and the quality is superior, have no issues with bag after 1,5 years. My friend bought YSL bag in YSl store, after 9 month she went back to report that handle is broken. Other friend has issues with LV backpack, bracelet and belt. months of waiting for repair and listening complains that she wore it wrong. I made my decision about high brands. Not worth it

[@Drive-y2m]

Anneamus I’m so sorry to hear that those people that should care about you don’t give a shit about you and expect you to give give give you are not a bank or a charity that is called entitled spoilt people do what makes you happy enjoy your life don’t give them anything ❤

[@sinisterkitty8411]

This is such a cool idea! Trust me those cart boys both appreciate and deserve that $20! You are awesome for doing this and it inspires me to do something similar.

[@kaycampbell8532]

@anneamus....I was driving in heavy stop and go traffic one day. A couple miles down the road, the traffic became lighter and I turned off the main road. I noticed the truck that had been behind me whipped around each turn and was following closely. I pulled into a restaurant parking lot and again he followed me in, then the man jumped out of his truck and approached my car. I nervously cracked my window to see what was wrong. He said he was behind me and counted six times I allowed someone to enter the flow of traffic ahead of me and he wanted to thank me for being polite to strangers. He then put a $20 bill through the crack of my window! I rolled down my window further and tried to return the money but he refused. He said he can spend his money how he wishes and he wanted me to have it....then he just turned and walked away! I was shocked! That was eleven years ago and I still can't believe it.

[@monicamoore7597]

I have cancer and this may be the last Christmas. I painted something for each family.

[@denisec8547]

Sorry you are going through that.❤ I think having anything made with love is better than any store bought present and hopefully you enjoyed making them. Sharing something special like that will be a wonderful memory for your children. I hope you see many more Christmas seasons and have love and support in your life to deal with your illness and treatments. God bless you.

[@cathywertz]

I hope it's not your last Christmas, but a painting was a wonderful idea. God Bless you Sweetie ❤

[@sheryllawson4868]

Sending you blessings and prayers

[@christinebeames712]

I hope you defy expectations as I have , best wishes

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

What a special thing to do for your family members. I hope this isn't your last Christmas.

[@pozzimusica]

I am so glad to have found your video ! This year was strange for my family, as well. We used to get together around Christmas with my son, his wife, and two sons. I tried my best to give them fun, meaningful gifts. My main delight was seeing the grandkids. Well, a couple years ago they went to Disneyland at Christmas, without telling me in advance. When they returned on Christmas Day, they were all sick with stomach flu and Covid. My husband and I just dropped by their gifts. Last year they went to Hawaii, didn't tell us ahead of time - I found out via a Facebook post on Christmas. We got together to give them gifts January 6th. This year, they are gone to unknown destination - I haven't heard from them for weeks. I just focused on making a great Christmas for my husband and I. This is the first Christmas in 43 years I haven't gotten gifts for my kids. But so far they don't know, and possibly don't even care. My Christmas gift to my beloved son is to forgive his rudeness. Merry Christmas :-)

[@Meadowsweet1986]

@@pozzimusica Oh my goodness I do feel for you, I am so sorry! We have our beautiful sons, we cherish and nurture them. We know that they will fly the nest one day and we prepare ourselves as best we can. If he chooses a good soul as his life partner we are simply lucky. She will cherish her husband's family and nurture good relationships on behalf of the children. But he might choose unwisely as your son has. She will manipulate him away from you. She has no idea of the damage she is doing by isolating your grandchildren from you. But please be assured that he hasn't changed really. He has all the strength and backbone that you provided him with as grew up. That doesn't just disappear. Even though she's getting everything her way at the moment I honestly believe you will get him back. I've got experience of this, I've witnessed friends in your situation. Sit tight and he and the children will resume life with you. Do lots of other things. Be busy and sociable. Keep strong! I wish you well .....with love from me here in England.

[@jenniferbent1275]

@@Meadowsweet1986 I just wanted to convey that the message you sent to Pozzimusica was so thought provoking and I do hope she finds comfort in your kind words. It is obviously very painful what she is experiencing now....and yes there is a great deal of adult child distance or estrangement happening everywhere. I too am from the UK, but in Canada.....wish you and Pozzimusica peace and all good things for 2025.

[@ConnieBlake44]

@@pozzimusica That’s so harsh to treat you and your Husband that way. I’ve also been surprised by things that have happened in my close family, who I thought I was rock solid with, and I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with it, or forgive those involved either. Talk about being blindsided 🙁😢

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh wow... I'm so sorry. They don't even let you know? The gift to forgive his rudeness is the best gift ever. It says a lot about who you are as a person that this is your thought. I admire that. I'm glad you're here!

[@nitapita9988]

@@pozzimusica oh dear one I’m so sorry. You are brave and beautiful soul to forgive your son I hope he sees the light sooner rather than later

[@gojiberry7201]

We live in such a greedy society today. I spent Christmas with my aunt. We didn't give each other a lot, but we opened each other's presents, really admired our stuff -- my aunt totally knows me! she got me just what I needed -- and we had a simple, healthy breakfast. Then I taught her how to knit! We talked about family life because our families have been very toxic -- and exchanged some really emotional moments. Then we watched a feel-good movie on Hallmark. This is the way I want to spend Christmas, just be with someone I love.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That sounds like a wonderful day!

[@dogmom-oc4eq]

❤ x 1000!!!

[@nanrose4741]

This is what I call a wonderful Christmas ❤❤

[@TheEnglishladyskitchengarden]

This year my husband and I packed up a picnic. We drove out to a local beauty spot and set up a small table complete with white tablecloth and candles. Best Christmas dinner ever. No drama or putting up with unpleasant people. It's now going to be our new tradition.

[@connievaughn8468]

That sounds wonderful!

[@nancyrukavena6992]

This is a lovely idea! I'm going to do this next year! It sounds peaceful and romantic..❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That is awesome! I love this.

[@christinesotelo7655]

Beautiful. I miss my husband.

[@pawcatsfly]

❤❤❤​@@christinesotelo7655

[@linlowe142]

Ive been thinking about writing about my Christmas this year. I dont know if i'll actually do it but i feel it would be cathartic. I think my problem is that i have expectations. Considering i'm almost 63 you'd think perhaps i would've learned a few things but no. There are just 3 of us. My husband, adult daughter and me. I spent about 4 hours maybe longer cooking the Christmas dinner. My daughter kept pestering about when it would be ready. I made the dining table look as christmas as i could. My husband said he wanted to eat his on a tray in the living room. He said he wanted to watch the racing. My daughter said she wouldnt be able to eat all of it and complained that the tablecloth looked like something a hospital would have. We had little conversation at the table apart from her being physically uncomfortable. I nailed a smile to my face throughout everything. I cleaned up the kitchen and took our dog for a walk. I think its me who has to change. I dont know what's wrong with me! Ive always tried to make it how i think they will feel comfort and have a nice day but disappointed isnt necessarily the word im looking for. There are many homeless people in the nearest town. I really want to throw in the towel and go and help at a shelter next year. Its strange writing this for strangers to read as ive told no one atall. Thank you for your channel. It came up on my feed this morning 28.12. Happy New Year to you x

[@Bethany10ization]

I understand how you feel. 🙏 Be blessed.

[@sueprice4082]

Totally understand. This was my second Christmas since my husband died and I have done a lot of looking back. I love spending Christmas at my son’s house with the grandchildren but can see that all the work is really not appreciated in their eyes. I hate feeling this way but ……. Sue UK ❤

[@jayneofspain3322]

I’m sorry. That seems like a lot of work to make a nice Christmas that was unappreciated. If you would like to spend the day serving meals to people who would be more thankful then I think that’s what you should do. Let them know early that is your intention and maybe even why. You can get together on Christmas Eve maybe to exchange any gifts with Christmas snacks or cook something on Christmas Eve you can heat up in the microwave easily after work on Christmas trays! Cooking Christmas dinner is an expensive and labour intensive job if it seems the people you are doing it for don’t want it. Be selfish for a change and do what you want to do. The rest of the family may like the change also. If they don’t then they need to be more appreciative of what you do. X

[@marinamiller1740]

Yes, I can see why you would want to change things next Christmas, and you are right, you cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. And if your instinct is to spend next Christmas with people who will truly benefit from all you are doing then go with it! Notice your feelings about doing that, do you feel excited, happy, glad, somehow taking back ownership of yourself instead of flogging a dead horse by always putting others wants/wishes/feelings before your own? That doesn’t work for anybody. Change how you feel about yourself, your wants, your needs, your likes and expectations, you are as important as anybody else, behave like it. Let them cook their own dinner next Christmas! Are they somehow incapable of doing that? Of course not! You have a whole year to change a whole lot about yourself, start your New Year exactly how you mean to go on, make some New Year resolutions in your new Diary. This time next year you’ll be a totally different lady😍 I wish you all the very best💕💕💕🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@sinisterkitty8411]

I think you should go and give your efforts to people who need it and will definitely appreciate it. It sounds like you want to have a real connective and meaningful experience, and I think you will be more likely to have that with fellow givers and people who are genuinely in need of what you have to offer. I hope next year is something interesting and different for you.

[@amelianac6498]

Big hug. ❤. My wake up was 2019. This year was just my kitties and grandkitties. It was lovely. I am a spiritual person and it rejuvenated my soul. Greed is ugly.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That's what I want to do in the future, meaning making sure we are remembering the real reason for Christmas in a more focused way. I'm a spiritual person, too.

[@AnnAndNala]

❤ Love this so much, "kitties and grand kitties". That sounds like the perfect Christmas. My kitty and outdoor barn kitties are the loves of my life. They've brought so much joy and love to my life. Getting away from the materialist, grouchy, entitled greedy holiday is over for me. Now it's me and the kitties; authentic peace and joy.

[@debbieriddle9429]

When my Grandchildren come for Christmas, I don't even put who the gifts are from on the packages...they don't care, and it Doesn't matter to me. They are from ages 1-24. I sat down this year and just watched them unwrap...they were so excited. I have family who just went through Helene. I'm just Thankful to have them all still living...such tragedy there. I don't know if my Son will over this tragedy anytime soon. We adopted a family from there for Christmas. Looking at someone else's tragedy will change everything. I almost lost my 47 year old Daughter this year. She's here...nothing else matters right now. Christmas was Amazing. God is So good. I'm Thankful, and Grateful.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds like you had a lot of fun on Christmas. so sorry to here that your son went through Helene. That's rough. I'm glad your daughter made it!

[@christinesotelo7655]

This is beautiful. Each night I pray God for the safety and protection of the children and grandchildren. Family well and steady-on-their-feet means the most, no matter what is going on. God bless you. ❤

[@deeh.6304]

Thank you, this is enlightening! Amidst all the frustration & disappointment ( I had my share of both this year), it’s important to be reminded of what’s important. Thank you!!!🙏🏼❤️

[@debbieriddle9429]

@@deeh.6304 I hope you have a Happy New Year. Seasons of life are many...some happy, some sad. I pray this next season for you, is happy, and healthy. I'm determined to be Thankful every day for something. I've been given so much. I really am Blessed. God Bless you.

[@debbieriddle9429]

@@TowardsASimpleLife Thank you. Hope you are Healthy and Happy. God Bless you.

[@samgraham9354]

Hello Rozanne, You probably won't see this message as l'm adding it on the 18th January. Just wanted to say that your Christmas 'change-up' really resonated with me, and (at 59), l have gone away and changed things too. Thank you for the clarity, it felt like you were talking to me over a cup of tea. It's what l needed to hear. Thanks again. 😊 🇬🇧

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Thank you! You too! I'm waking on here on January 18th, so it's the same day. :-) I'm glad the video helped!

[@northernillinoissasquatchr6260]

We don't have any little ones in our family now but we stopped giving gifts years ago. We enjoy spending the time together, a great home cooked meal, watching Christmas movies. No shopping for presents removes a lot of the stress. Christmas is about celebrating the Savior's birth.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

This is so great.

[@farfallabianca1998]

Bravaaaa finalmente !!!! Il Natale non sono i regali!!!

[@iowanne]

I'm 72 years old and have stopped buying Christmas gifts. We get together for a meal and spend the day together but the gift giving has stopped. Christmas is so much more relaxed and enjoyable now. No more running around trying to find the perfect gift for everyone.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love that you have found a better way to celebrate. Very inspiring.

[@joysmith2468]

People buy for themselves all year long, it’s impossible to surprise them with a gift, they’ve got everything...

[@LydiaTheBusinessWoman]

Sounds perfect, as long as someone else is cooking 😅

[@iowanne]

@LydiaTheBusinessWoman each family bring their favorite appetizer and we all snack on them. Good way to find new recipes and everyone contributes to the food. life if good! :)

[@janetta5827]

​@iowanne, I love this idea. I may be using it next year.

[@lesleyhubble2976]

Christmas isn’t what it used to be, everyday is Christmas with Amazon delivering packages

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh ha... Yes. Amazon!

[@christinesotelo7655]

Great comment! LOL!!!😂

[@celticdreamer-g51]

OMG, my day was very similar to yours! I am 73 and for the first time ever I was very disappointed with Christmas. My grandchildren and children did the same thing with the gift opening . This had never happened before. Even our family meal seemed strange. At the end of the day I felt very disenchanted. I, too, have started to take down my decorations today. I think that we are entering a new "season" of life and we will need to adapt our holiday a bit.

[@sueprice4082]

Same here, at 73, widowed, I felt disenchanted too. I love my family but times have certainly changed ❤ Sue UK

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I think you're right. Maybe I've had a hard time moving into the new season. This was the first year we didn't open the presents one at a time and what a mistake it was. But I need to change anyway.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Yes, they have changed!

[@goofygirl1311]

In our house a designated person is given the job of passing out presents to each person and we all wait until each person has a gift before we start to open our presents. My family did it this way when I was a kid and so did my husband's family. Each person can show the others what they got and thank the giver. I would be really disappointed if our kids just threw tradition out the window and just started grabbing their presents willy nilly.

[@anna-mariaciccone3186]

And I thought I was the only one finds the 'sharks attacking the tree' not acceptable. Tried to manage the chaos a few years ago but it was hopeless. I reckon it is a cultural difference. Xxa

[@AndNowIWrite]

I saw a young woman on a reel with the following idea; Everyone buys themselves a gift, wrap it, and when it's time to open it, set in a circle with everyone. Open the gift and express why the gift was important to you, you get something you wanted and everyone learns something about their friends and family members.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I haven’t heard of this before. It’s such a fun idea! Love it.

[@carolineharry6605]

I can so relate to this. This Christmas, all my best plans didn’t work out. I made a family meal on Boxing Day only to be told they’d had a McDonald’s on the way home. One adult child complained that he already had an identical pair of pyjamas that someone had gifted to him. Right in front of them. He then proceeded to count out in front of me the money me and my husband had given him. I felt like he was a landlord counting out money that we’d gifted to him. 😢 I’m never going through that again. He was obnoxious at Christmas dinner. He reminded me of the brother at National Lampoon’s Christmas. I couldn’t wait for him to leave. We need to learn from our mistakes and set boundaries and keep to them. I’ve kept notes in my phone to remind me to never be so generous to people who don’t deserve it. Your video just popped up in my suggested videos. I’m glad I’ve found you. I’m so sorry that your hard work wasn’t appreciated. My in laws used to rip open their gifts from me (my husband never took any interest in buying gifts) I’d go and make drinks for them, come back into the room, and I’d never see what their reactions were opening the gift I’d bought. So I put a stop to the gift giving. It felt odd at first, but then it felt liberating. Just because they are family, it doesn’t mean they are entitled to anything. Happy New Year to you and your subscribers. 2025, we are going to be kinder to ourselves. ❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Funny... I was just thinking about that movie. I'm glad you are here. Hope that your next Christmas goes better. Yes, let's be kinder to ourselves!

[@wendymilkins8938]

Time to stop any more gift to this ungrateful person. No more infact as they ate on the way over time to tell them how rude and selfish stand up for yourself no more tell them straight how you felt.

[@antoinettetrebus9932]

I live in the UK and my children and grandchildren live in Australia and usually send money so they can buy what they want. Three of my daughter's kids are very computer savvy, ages range from 13 to 18. I have yet to receive an email or message of thanks. I have the 2 girls a piece of my jewellery (ring) for their 16th birthday. Not a word at the time. I asked my daughter a few months later whether the present actually arrived. "Oh yeah." was the reply but nothing else. The eldest even had the nice to complain that her ring didn't fit. My son's daughter who has autism and still has 2 years to go before she receives her ring but my son sends photos and messages on how she's doing, her interests, etc. and what she spends her money on. She's very artistic so it's usually art supplies. I gave her double for her birthday so I didn't feel bad when I told everyone that this year no one was getting anything. I crocheted Christmas tree decorations instead of sending cards. For the first time in 20 years, my daughter actually thanked me for anything I've sent. There is still hope. We had a very scaled down Christmas. My mother-in-law celebrated her 104th birthday the day before but because she has dementia, we kept the celebrations very low key. We had a few people from her church deliver presents and flowers but she had no idea who they were from; she just couldn't remember who they were. 2025 will be like 2024, taking care of her will be our main priority. Wishing everyone a happy and blessed 2025.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was very interesting and helpful to me. How nice that you finally got a thank you from your daughter! 104? Wow. My mom made it to 98. She had an aunt that lived past 100 and she was afraid she’d get there too. She had dementia at the end, too. I really appreciate hearing from you.

[@LauraB-R]

@@antoinettetrebus9932 my son never thanks me for the gifts I give him, nor does he give me gifts. Not for my birthday, Mother’s Day or Christmas. “You have too much stuff. You don’t need anything!” “Well, yes I do. I need to be acknowledged and appreciated. To be shown that, with at least a card and plans made to take me to dinner or something…”

[@bwat100]

I understand. The true meaning of Christmas, for me, has been lost long ago. I shed a little tear for the loss of the good times, but I can't do it anymore.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I guess the thing for us to do is to figure out a way forward. So sorry things are hard for you.

[@christyv4125]

This happened to me a few years ago. Since then, adults don't get gifts. Kids under 18 get one gift. I've noticed Christmas is much calmer.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Thanks for sharing that with me. It's very helpful!

[@Sarahscircleoffriends]

Your authenticity is part of the charm of your channel. It makes it feel like visiting with a friend!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Thanks. I appreciate hearing that!!

[@pennytracy3843]

I'm so glad you popped up on my phone. I have been depressed since Christmas day. I go all for my kids and Grandson, even my husband. I felt like I did so much to make Christmas great for everyone. But I feel like no one did the same for me. Is that selfish? I hope not. I just didn't feel a bit loved. Hopefully I'll get out of this funk. Happy New Year. God bless

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I don't think it's selfish. It's hard to feel disappointed like this. Hope you have a great year!

[@christinesotelo7655]

Not selfish. Human. Me too.

[@sparky5092]

My family (3 siblings) decided when our children were small (7 kids in total), to have an age 21 cut off. 21st birthday is last present & card. No more presents after that birthday. Suits everyone. My sister, brother & myself & spouses go out for a Christmas meal & catch up 1st Sunday in December instead of buying gifts. Much more relaxed. When my children started working we just draw a name out & buy that one person a gift of £30 value. Suggestions of wants within budget are permitted. One daughter now married so we buy her husband one gift from the family. Everyone happy with arrangements which were discussed, decided & adhered to since decision made. Suits everyone's pocket

[@megalou6567]

This is the first year I didn’t buy for anyone and it was my first year alone . No one ever does anything for me. And I end up broke and sad . So this year I had a lovely day . I cleaned my house. Lit some candles . Listened to music . Made me a steak in my cast iron . And I just really enjoyed it . I’m sorry you’re feeling down. Like bad gas , this too shall pass .

[@LadyG-u6p]

I feel this.

[@waterwitch8902]

Im 68 and lost my husband this year. This Christmas i just let the day go by. No decorations, no presents, just let the day be. My life has changed and i have changed.

[@Frugalee1]

I am so sorry.

[@paigeleavitt4325]

I will keep you in my prayers

[@waterwitch8902]

@paigeleavitt4325 thank you

[@vickieyoung7122]

I'm 69 and my husband died this year too...I decorated but being all alone for xmas except for my 2 cats was very different...no family left living so it will be like this for however many holidays I have left

[@kathleendillie3556]

I’m truly sorry for your loss.

[@joni77933]

This is a very tough time of year. Thanks for sharing, it helps to know I’m not the only one struggling.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I'm grateful to hear from you.

[@dejavu2531]

Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone & experienced some of the same feelings.

[@MariaDonnelly-er9fy]

Thank God I thought it was me it seemed very strange time of year. I have Never felt like this before . Nothing seems to be happening like normal.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Isn't that crazy? Things do seem kind of off. I hope 2025 is better for both of us.

[@MarylouKveck]

I’m a grandma with 9 grandkids and 3 adult children with spouses. I came to this very same realization this Christmas. Nice to know I’m not alone

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Glad to meet you!!

[@barbarabelt701]

I am 83. I will be glad the holiday are over. It was very stressful for me for many reasons. And nothing like it before. Hurtful in many reasons.

[@elainemcnary2788]

Barbara, your comment really touched my heart. For the first time in my life I waited until Dec 22 to do Xmas shopping. I really sized down this year thinking it was time to stop giving senseless gifts just to be giving. I did not decorate at all, unless you call a Santa china cookie jar decorations. Plans were made for the 25th with my youngest son, On Dec 24 he tells me that he is going to his neighbors instead of cooking at his house like we had planned. And that I was invited to do if I wanted to. It just struck me wrong, so I stayed home alone. Not sure that was the best choice but it was my choice. A very hurtful year for me. By the way I am 70 and I spend a lot of time alone by choice. Thanks for listening.

[@coppertone711]

Me decorating is about one hour and is very enjoyable. The glass tree , a few porch pillow covers and a Christmas rug. I have a string of solar lights. It is very nice to me😊

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I’m sorry that your holidays were stressful. That's disappointing. Hope they improve.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh my gosh, Elaine. What a hard thing for you. I'm so sorry he did that to you.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds beautifull

[@rochelle7901]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve decided not to buy presents for every niece and nephews like I did before. I used to really enjoy the gift buying and gifting in the past. This year, the thought of doing it again was overwhelming so I didn’t do it. I may stop all gift giving in the future though too. I go out of my way to make family happy and in return I don’t receive anything, literally not even home made baked cookies. I know we should not expect anything back, but this has been going on for YEARS. I’m tired of always giving and not being respected for my kindness, that’s all.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It's a tough call, but you are right to make decisions that feel right for you!

[@clemdane]

My Mom started getting dementia a few years ago, so she is unable to plan and remember getting gifts for anyone. So for about five years now I have been buying gifts for both her and myself. I wrap both of them and put her name on the gifts for me. This is not because I want gifts for myself (I really don't care either way), but because she would get upset if she didn't have anything for me on Christmas. I try to make sure we each get the same number of gifts and I wrap all of hers in one color scheme and mine in another. Mom loves it and she is always happy to see she "got me something" even if she doesn't remember it!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

You are so sweet to do that for her! My Mom ended up with dementia at the end. It sure made things interesting at times.

[@clemdane]

@@TowardsASimpleLife Thank you! Yes, she and my Dad (who also has dementia now) say some bizarre things sometimes. I just go along with it.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ my favorite was the time my mom told me she loved the circus performers I had hired to entertain her. Apparently, they had come through her bedroom window and put on quite a show.

[@clemdane]

@@TowardsASimpleLife Hahaha wow! Very enterprising of you. My Mom keeps telling me "the people who run this place" won't let her do something. I'll tell her she and I are the only people here and she can do whatever she wants!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ funny!

[@kathleenheneghan8304]

Thanks for this straightforward sharing. We hosted Christmas for extended family this year and I was stressed about how too much it was. Too much food, too many gifts, too much money spent. I want to do things differently too and talked to my therapist about it today. I really appreciate your sharing!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I think I might reconnect with my therapist next week. Between this and the big issue with my extended family, I need some guidance. Thanks for the reminder.

[@KC-nb3st]

My husband and I also had a very disappointing Christmas this year. Three of our four children and their partners and children came to stay. We had a house full of family. We thought it was going to be nice having everyone there to share Christmas. One of grandchildren insisted on cooking the main meal. We paid for all the ingredients. Unfortunately it was way too salty for anyone to enjoy so we were disappointed about that. The other adult grandchild and his partner came also. Came empty handed. Bought some food for themselves, ate what they wanted of their food and our food. Offered us the remaining morsels that had been left out in the heat of the day. Raided and took handfuls of the sweets that we bought for everyone to enjoy. They took bags of them for their drive home. They drank all our alcohol. No gifts for us. We don’t want them back in our home again. They showed so little respect for us and our home that we are sad to call them family. We have two out of our four children that we’d happily share Christmas with but the other two we don’t want to anymore. We are enjoying these times that are meant to be joyous celebrations less and less and feel like cash cows. No more. We’ve had enough. Planning on going away for Christmas in 2025. Those family who want to share Christmas with us will be paying their own way from now on. I can now understand how families become estranged. Sad but warranted.

[@juliawigger9796]

We elders need a wake up call.

[@deniseryan4146]

Oh my I could cry readjng this. I too had a sad Christmas. We are not alone. Expectations of a happy gathering. I said, " next year let's go away". .

[@esthersaldana9772]

@@shirleysimcoe9356100%%%% well said.

[@gaildela5710]

😢 Sad isn't it? Your not the on one with misfit family. It's like they aren't considered & don't realize what their doing it. 😢

[@CM-ey6qy]

What are partners?

[@giorgismama8024]

I get it 💯! I understand about the lack of appreciation and sort of disrespect at Christmas. My older son and his wife are over indulging of their 2 kids so they already have way beyond what kids need and have so many toys they really don’t know how to play with their toys. It hurts emotionally when we pour our heart and soul into things and it’s not appreciated….so much entitlement nowadays.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

This is so true. I've wondered if social media is making things worse. It wasn't like this when we were young.

[@suehughes-parry2795]

Our grown children are elsewhere having a good time. We were a deux..we had a peaceful day with simple food just a few decorations and perambulations in the countryside..it was lovely. I was Mother Christmas for years..and now I just celebrate the spirit of Christmas 🎄 Only New Year to get through now...and we will be sleeping gently through that one...😇😴 Wishing you all serenity and serendipity in 2025 🥂🍾

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love this. Maybe someday we'll be true "empty-nesters" and can enjoy the same!

[@christinesotelo7655]

I like this. Happy, serene and serendipitous New Year to you and all! ❤

[@lkcough]

We always go around in a circle, and each open a present, one at a time, it takes time, but we love it, its a nice, beautiful time, and the kids are so good about thanking each person, and giving us all a hug when we're all done, and, we open our gifts on Christmas Eve!

[@Nwladylaura369]

My family tried but it was hard the last few years. Very dysfunctional and made for some bad memories! 😢

[@fourthgenquilter9801]

This is what we do as well! We started this tradition when our kids, now adults, were toddlers. The emphasis is on showing gratitude.

[@OrganisedPauper]

We’ve always done that too. My children are now adults and we still do it.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That's what we used to do, too. I kind of lost my mind this year and forgot to do it. But at least, I figured out that I need a change.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

So sorry you've had some hard years. Hopefully, things will improve.

[@hadrianwall-r7h]

At 62 this was the first Christmas Eve in which I hosted 5 families. (One of the families was staying with us.) I did not know that I would be doing this until about 3+ weeks before the event. It was quite intense for me--every day I was cleaning, creating lists or revising them, buying and wrapping presents ad infinitum only to have it culminate into the mad dash of the tearing into the gifts at the party. Paper flying everywhere! When the party was over and all of the guests were gone, I realized that I hadn't really *_experienced_* the event. I hadn't had any meaningful conversations. I hadn't even had a bite of the food. I was constantly checking the baby guard gate at the top of the stairs and wrapping more last minute gifts, picking up toys so the elderly people wouldn't trip in addition to making sure they could navigate the buffet. On the day after I really didn't have any memories of this event--it was all a blur. I think the guests had fun but I don't think I will do this ever again.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh wow… it makes me tired just imagining it. And then to feel like you missed it in the end. I can totally see why you’d feel that way. I don’t think I could do it at all!

[@krystleburgess1052]

I ve done the same, and felt the same. Love, k

[@hadrianwall-r7h]

@@krystleburgess1052 🙃

[@deekang6244]

I’m a bit grateful that my kids live out of town. We send them money. We go to a hotel and enjoy the decorating. We eat out. Delicious meals, that we don’t do the rest of the year. It’s relaxing and nice. Christmas decorations everywhere that we don’t have to put up and take down. I love it! No gifts to wrap ( a few for our 8 year old grandson). I find I don’t miss the dash for baking, decorating, shopping, wrapping, etc. I’m glad I did it for my kids. But just as happy to let it go. And move on to a new way of celebrating Christmas.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That is such a great way to celebrate! I love it!

[@oaknwichlanedesigns]

I’m watching this on 12/31. I moved into an apartment from a house in the beginning of November and decorating was a challenge. But I wanted to start the New Year without the tree. So I just took it down. I decided this new year I’m going to do more of what I want instead of what family, friends, traditions etc “dictate”. It feels great!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love your new year's resolution!

[@TheAmericanGirl1967]

I haven’t been on your channel, or any channel like this is a long time because I’ve been listening to politics. Now that the election is over, I’m back to your channel and others. This reminded me of how my grandparents did this for all of us many grandchildren. My dad’s parents couldn’t afford to buy things for their 14 grandchildren, so our parents would bring one thing for us to open at their house Christmas Eve. All of us together in my grandparents tiny house the night before Christmas is some of my best memories. I couldn’t tell you one gift I opened , but I’ll forever remember that warm little house, the laughter, the coffee and food. I’m 57 and still tear up thinking about it.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I got lost in politics, too. I had to make my way back out again. I'm glad to be out of that. I'm glad you're here again! It sounds like you had the best Christmases. I love your parent's solution to their problem. what great memories.

[@janegerow5974]

Ohhhhh same! I’m 57 and my gramma was Xmas. I still remember the smell of the baking. The tree. Hearing her up first thing in the morning Moving around while I was cozy in bed with my sister. I only remember one gift she gave me when I was a teen. A gold cross necklace. Which was odd cause we aren’t religious but I’ve worn one ever since!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@@janegerow5974 That was us too. Christmas Eve was Grandma. I sure miss her!

[@JP56-r9o]

This year was a much easier Christmas for me personally. Historically that time of year has always brought alot of emotion, crisis events and actually some horrible events. I think we all put too much time into trying to live by the commercial side of the holiday and hold high expectations. I can relate to your story and just want to tell you not to feel so guilty about how you feel or reacted. One year I was so unhappy about how the holiday went, the actions of some of my family members and disappointment resulted in a very deep, dark period for me. I woke up the 26th and decided to remove all of the Christmas decorations so I packed it all up and cleaned all day. I was expecting a big reaction from the family but you know what? Nobody was really affected or said anything other than my husband. He wasn't upset but he was surprised. Lesson learned......lower expectations, don't give into the commercial holiday and just let things happen instead of trying to control it all. I love New Years day. It reminds me I have another year before I have to build up my emotional arsenal to make it through the last two weeks of the year. I loved your message. Thank you!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

You're welcome! How interesting that no one cared when you took it down....

[@JP56-r9o]

@TowardsASimpleLife I agree.

[@springsogourne]

My daughter who lives on the other side of the country comes home for a week at Christmas and I absolutely love it, but when she leaves the pain is unbearable. I don’t know why. We talk everyday and I see her throughout the year, but for some reason when she leaves I can’t cope. I have to put all the decorations away, the tree comes down, the uneaten food and treats need to be thrown away, every trace of Christmas has to disappear in order for me to cope. I decided next year we are going out to spend Christmas with her, hopefully that helps. I cannot take the pain, it’s like the loss of a loved one, I cry for days.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That sounds like a great plan for next year. I can understand how hard it would be to have her living so far away.

[@lindamast2766]

I've always had pain with departures, as a child when my aunts would leave from a visit, as an adult when my son was in the military, when my best friend moved, on and on it's just difficult 😢

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ sorry you have that challenge!

[@dd7521]

I understand the feelings thing! It leaves me feeling down for days..

[@valeriethomas4168]

Yes, I know that sad feeling. I’ve had it for years after my children have gone home after a visit😕

[@dalemorris7014]

We stopped giving gifts altogether in my family years ago. Simplicity has worked for us.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

My husband's family did that at a certain point. It was very relieving.

[@jenburns6265]

My daughter is having a baby, and I've already told her that she will only be getting 3 gifts. 1. Something she wants, 2. Something she needs, 3. Something she reads. Thanks for sharing ❤

[@lesleyhubble2976]

That’s a fantastic idea

[@LauraB-R]

I’ve done this for many years. My son was 3 years old when I started doing it; he’s now 34…I rarely get a thank you. What does he give me for birthdays, Mother’s Day or Christmas? Nothing but a hug … if I’m lucky.

[@christinemcloughlin7025]

I think that is a brilliant idea.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Such a great idea. I wish I'd thought of it.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I think our generation was different. Times were different. We always thanked everyone.

[@ReadingGrandma7351]

This happened to me one year-once my kids got their gifts they were gone. I said never again! I went from making a big lunch to making a beloved meal that is quick and easy. I went from using my best China to using decorative plastic plates, so very few dishes. We played two games that were so much fun, then I read the Bible story, prayed, and then we opened gifts. Everyone had to wait for everyone to be given their presents before opening them. Then as we always do we hid the grandkids big present and gave them clues to find it. This Christmas was one of the best we have had in a long time.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

What a great plan. I especially love the idea about hiding the grandkids big present. I should do this!

[@donnahill8916]

My husband passed on 12/6 after a year of fighting heart and cancer issues. It was the first Christmas apart for 49 years. I have 2 adult sons who are good as gold, one from out of state. His wife and disabled daughter cannot fly, so only he was here with my other son. We started a new tradition called "Thriftmas" and hope to continue each year if we can all be together. We each has $20 to spend total on the other two at a large thriftstore one afternoon. It turned out so fun to scour the store for a couple of hours to find something relevant. We then had our gift opening the evening before my son flew back home. We all supported each other during this very big loss. You sound so much like me, except for the big family. I can just imagine the chaos on Christmas morning!! Ha. Oh well.

[@valentinat3250]

@@donnahill8916 I am terribly sorry for your loss💔

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I am so sorry for your loss. What a hard thing for you! I love the new tradition came up with. It's such a great idea.

[@krishannam1346]

How sad. So sorry for your loss. Maybe next year, you can all go to your son's house, so your daughter-in-law and granddaughter don't have to be alone at Christmas?

[@msmonet]

We just buy presents for the grandkids, all adults just get small stocking stuffers. This year, I didn't take pictures. Wasn't on purpose, I was just living in the moment. Glad my daughter took a few. We did a homemade Lasagna, Ceasar Salad, Garlic bread and a special dessert. This allowed me to really enjoy Christmas since I wasn't stuck in the kitchen. Change can be good!!!

[@caroldorsett8170]

Exactly what we did!was so nice!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds like you had a great year. I love your ideas!

[@kayo5291]

This is exactly what we do. The four children ages 2 - 13 get “gifts”. We all each get a stocking that all the adults contribute to. It’s quite easy and fun to shop this way, and we enjoy those stockings so much. The kids are full of thank-yous and hugs. I do like the idea of gifting family experiences though. I hope we can start that in a couple years, when the older children are 15 or 16.

[@msmonet]

​@@kayo5291 sounds like a great idea to do experiences.

[@RuthWomick]

Im sorry that happened to you. Im reading that it is common for seniors to have a Christmas where they make hard changes w gift giving and entertaining. This year, our 5 kids asked we only celebrate (no gift giving). Also, we moved it to the house that is the largest and we all brought the food vs me making it all. It was so stress free and fun. Last year, we exchaged names-even the kids, It was good too. Perhaps consider 'self care' and do what is best for you?

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I guess it was our turn to have it. The more comments I'm reading, the better I'm feeling about it because I realize that I'm not alone in it. Everything will turn out okay in the end. It sounds like you had a great Christmas!

[@tea.psbdmpt8]

I did something totally different this year and everyone loved it. It will be a tradition for now on. Adults didn't exchange, but qe bought for grands. We played games with prizes and had so much fun. Next year I'm adding a simple craft, a tree ornaments in which everyone participates. It was so much fun. ❤

[@sallyprzybil2404]

That sounds fun!

[@tammijones4198]

Our family did the same, it was so much fun!

[@PatrickAkers-c2m]

We started playin bingo for bingo bags. We gather “stuff” and use brown lunch bags. All ages seem to enjoy the quality and or silliness of the bags. For now it brings us laughter and some memories. It could have gone either way this year (attitudes) but we were blessed with a good time by all(who came)

[@PriscillaElliott-l1r]

I am 83. Stopped giving gifts. Been there done that. Every thing she said. Not worth it.

[@beachlover4413]

Found you by chance and finally, someone I can relate to! I have a different situation-my grandchildren live 10 minutes from me. My son-in-law dislikes me (to the point where he doesn't acknowledge my presence) so I don't see them often. But on the rare occasion I get to go to their house (when he isn't home, I am saddened by the way they keep toys and games. So I don't buy them much. I try to buy books or games without pieces (they are 5 and 7). It is hard when they have us for Christmas eve with his parents as well (who spend tons of time with the kids). I bought very boring gifts-a game and a book for each. THe other grandparents got dollhouses and toys they loved so much. I know it isn't about the gifts... but it is hard when Christmas isn't the way you imagine or even hope it to be. I will be following you. Happy New Year!!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It’s so nice to have found someone who relates to your situation. You are not alone. Sorry that your son-in-law is being such a pill. (My grandmother used to say that when we were being annoying. We were being "pills.")

[@christinesotelo7655]

I understand your story. As an older gramma now, my experience is similar in that the extended families have partners and lots of money and can lavish the kids with gifts. I barely make it through, feel like a failure and have to truly self-talk myself up out of the slump I get into. And the older the grandkids get, the more expensive the things they want. What ever happened to joy over story books and crayons and stuffed animals?

[@SharonPerson-hm9ds]

​@christinesotelo7655 - I miss the crayon and stuffie days, too, but have a suggestion that might help. My oldest grandchild & her husband have five children. A few years ago, my daughter, (their grandmother), decided that experiences, rather than things, are what she wanted to provide for them. She takes each child, by themselves, for a 'grandma day' on a rotating basis. It can be something as simple as a trip to the playground for the little ones, to playing a round of mini golf or baking cookies or going to the movies with the older ones. The children each get to choose their activity, but within my daughter's boundaries. Their time together has at least two benefits - each child feels special having uninterrupted attention from her, and it gives her insights into each child's likes, dislikes, and individual interests. I can't tell you what gifts my grandparents gave to me during my childhood, but I can tell you about memories of the times that they spent with me. Maybe, even with a limited budget, you can do the same.😊

[@Tonimaroni2BeKindToAnimals]

That must be very hard 😢

[@debbiem73]

I’m so sorry - and hate to say I understand how you feel… I had hoped when my son got married, that I’d gain a daughter. Sadly, I lost a son.

[@gailwhite8796]

Just a suggestion, you can remind your grandchildren (maybe in the fall) that you’ll only be buying one gift and ask them what they really want under whatever monetary limit you choose. That way, they’ll get the thing they really want and you’ll have a clear budget. My Grandma (who was a great sewist) always gave us handmade pajamas or nightgowns for Christmas. We were always allowed to open her gifts on Christmas Eve so we could go to bed and open gifts the next morning in new soft Jammies. We loved it, and it’s still one of my best Christmas memories! My other Grandma was pretty poor, but a great baker, so from her we would get our own little packages of cookies and homemade candies. She was also really religious, so she’d give us rosaries or Holy cards. Sometimes, I think too many presents can actually detract from the love we’re trying to share. I’m confident you’ll find your better solution by next Christmas. Perhaps include a coupon for a “Grandma and Me” Day doing whatever the child chooses.

[@melindahernandez1224]

Great suggestion. I let my grandkids choose this year between an "experience" something they might want to do, a place to go etc or something they may want or a gift card for something they may want to choose. They all ended choosing the experience which is an event that we are going to experience together. I had recently told my kids that I wanted to do things that created memories! ❤️

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love this idea.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That is such a great idea - I'll definitely give that a try next year! It's such a good solution to ask them about it. It will also help set the expectation that there will only be one gift, which I need to do.

[@goofygirl1311]

My grandma used to gift us each one of her own precious treasures - one kid might get a necklace, the other might get one of our grandpa's pocket watches, another might get some collectible coins while another might get a charm bracelet. Each thing that she gifted us had a story behind it and we would love hearing her stories about it. Grandma was also a gifted baker and she would spend lots of time with us teaching us how to bake a wide variety of cookies, breads and cakes. We discovered homemade treats that we didn't know existed. Our house smelled absolutely heavenly whenever grandma came to town 😀.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ What wonderful memories. My grandmother was so special to me. Just spending time her was the best. I sure miss her!

[@christinemcloughlin7025]

When i speak to my friends about past Christmas experiences, they usually say the same thing. As children, they hated having to go to other relatives houses....they just wanted to stay in their homes , open their presents and be left to play and not have to entertain or be on their best behaviour for other family members. Maybe the simple approach is all that is needed.❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I agree. Simple is best. That's where I'm heading.

[@caroldaviddaviejohnson2225]

100% agree with you. Also, when people have high expectations for things to go 'their' way, it's a guarantee of being disappointed! As a grandmother I just sit back and watch the grandchildren ripping off the gift wrappings as fast as they can, a huge pile of paper in the middle of the room as they wade through their present pile, then the adults will open theirs afterwards. There is joy in viewing that excitement in children, not resentment that it was all over too quickly. Children get excited by opening their gifts and just want to play, not sit for an age taking turns at opening things, it would bore them to death! A little more chilled and less adult expectation is perhaps required, it wouldn't matter to me if my teen grandchildren opened gifts then took off upstairs to their gaming- it's their day too to enjoy it in their own way. I know my grandchildren love me, and I them, its not necessary for them to savour opening my gifts slowly, one at a time, tear into them and enjoy I say!

[@thatcreepyxmastreeinyourat8950]

​@caroldaviddaviejohnson2225 Nice to hear something else besides whining and complaining, as I finally stopped reading the comments because of this. Finally found a positive and grateful post. You seem like a wonderful grandma😊

[@caroldaviddaviejohnson2225]

@thatcreepyxmastreeinyourat8950 thank you for your lovely reply! I've got 7 grandchildren, but I havent forgotten being a child or a teen with attitude myself, so it's important to just cut some slack and enjoy the time we have together. Childhood is fleeting, Sending you best wishes from 🇬🇧

[@charmainekirk1512]

We are in our 70s. Just my husband and I. I gave a gift card to a struggling brother. We put our tree up with a few meaningful decorations. We cooked some good food, we always do a few random acts of kindness. We chill and do our thing. We love Christmas!

[@ConnieBlake44]

@@charmainekirk1512 Sounds just lovely 🥰

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That’s awesome! Sounds like a wonderful Christmas.

[@maxinemcivor4974]

Oh my goodness. I can so relate to your disappointment about Christmas morning. Its exactly as i felt . Things need to change. Thank you.

[@nancyrukavena6992]

I find with kids, regarding any event that should "go a certain way," I explain the 'rules' over and over again starting at least a week beforehand. Kids are generally supportive of rule following, especially if there are consequences for breaking a rule. "If you wake me up too early on Christmas morning, you lose a present to a sibling," for example! Everyone else deserves a nice Christmas, so they need to behave in a way that allows that for everyone!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

So glad that you said hi. It's nice to know you understand what happened.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh yes... I should have done that! What a good reminder.

[@janetyamashige9573]

Oh my goodness. I am sorry the holiday was so stressful and disappointing for you. I have to say, just hearing about how many people you have living with you stressed me out! That's more than I could endure, for sure. God bless you! I hope, as you embrace the changes that will reduce your stress and make your life easier next holiday season, that the people around you will accept them with more grace and appreciation for all that you do. Happy New Year!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I'm so glad you understood what a challenge it was for me. Thank you! It was a lot! Happy New Year to you too!

[@mysticmom616]

Honestly, this was such a nice Christmas with my family. My toddler grandchildren were a delight on Christmas morning opening their gifts, my adult children and their partners were (and always are) fun to be around. Despite me being tired because I choose to overdo things, it was a perfect Christmas. I do not decorate for Christmas anymore. No one comes to our house and my cats would try to eat trees (even artificial) if I put them up. So I just don’t bother. Honestly it was a perfect day

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That’s awesome! I’m glad that you enjoyed your Christmas!

[@barbarahaynes-bi4hk]

What a shame you had such a disappointing time. I feel very lucky to have had a lovely Christmas, our family following a routine that has just evolved - other family members arrive for cooked breakfast at the outside table (Australian summer), move to the sitting room where one person slowly hands out the gifts, clean up time, greet friends arriving to spend the rest of the day, nearly everyone in the swimming pool, late afternoon meal ... Feel blessed at 82 to be part of this

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love your Christmas routine, sounds so peaceful and fun!

[@sarahfoster6765]

It’s funny when we are all in our own little bubble we tend to think we are the only ones experiencing the struggles in life but it’s vlogs like these that make you realise we are all so similar & life wherever you come from is a struggle. Thank you for reminding me as I don’t feel I’m struggling alone. I’ve just subscribed. Wishing you a Happy New Year. ❤️🇬🇧

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I'm so glad you're here. Welcome! Thanks for sharing that you understand. It means a lot.

[@big_ted]

I’ve really noticed a change in people (maybe myself too) this year. Many are so impatient and have short tempers, quick to take the bait. I hope in 2025 everything calms down and we can see the best of everyone again.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I agree with this so much!

[@lorithrower2467]

This is a first time watch for me but I can see that you are saturated with a sad feeling of disappointment and I know that feeling as well. My extended family, the few times a year we get together, are wonderful and a joy to see. It was always my immediate family that made me feel sad. It got to a point where I just did it for me, decorated, played carols, watched Home Alone, wrapped beautiful gifts. I make our bed really pretty and well, every day, because it brings me joy when I see it. I realized a long time ago I wasn't going to get much if any acknowledgement from anyone else so if it made me happy, I'd do it for me. 😊 I do hope you stick with your plan and that you feel happier soon as I'm sure you will and do what makes YOU happy and it's ok. 😊

[@LauraB-R]

@@lorithrower2467 this is what I’ve been doing for years. And yes, my extended family makes me happier than my immediate family…they usually make me sad.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Yeah... I wonder why it took me so long, but I'm glad I got there. So nice to talk to you.

[@moonpie3063]

Sorry you were so disappointed with your Christmas. I loved mine. All the family, food and gifts we were able to give. I hope we can do this as long as possible. I’m 74 and happy to be here every Christmas. Put a smile on your face and be grateful for all you have and are able to share.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It's great that you had such a wonderful Christmas and were able to be with your family! I'm so happy to hear that.

[@BrendaRhodes-lt5oq]

My first and last Christmas with my late husband’s family that is why I stopped. When the youngest had opened his last of lots of gifts and looked around and said “ Is that all?” He had barely looked at anything and his parents had to tell him. It was not fun for me, so I decided I didn’t need the stress. My husband has been gone 17 years and I have not made that mistake again.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh my goodness. What a silly thing for him to have said! I can see why that was not fun for you.

[@mikemanjo2458]

All the adults in our family gave to Samaritan's Purse to help Helene victims in our area. We gave gifts to the little kids 1 for each and one family gift (a game for them to play together). I agree with your reasoning. Kids are given so much more than they need from parents, they tend to be ungrateful for the Bounty they have. I think you have a good plan going forward. Happy New Year! Jane

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That’s such a wonderful thing to do! I love this.

[@Willie-MaeDeShield]

I totally agree with you, Xmas has changed a lot…take care of yourself and find joy in the small things, I’m trying . 72 myself

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

You're right!

[@TRUTHisTRUTH70]

I feel seen. Thank you for this! I'll continue to shop (online only!) for our kids and 3 grandkids, but all the other kids that expect (or at least their parents do) a gift will get a small amount of cash. Now that we're both retired, our income has dropped SIGNIFICANTLY, so I no longer feel compelled to shower kids who couldn't pick us out of a crowd with something I agonized over choosling. You go, girl, and do NOT feel guilty about it! Last year I decluttered a TON of stuff that was no longer serving me in this season of life. Bliss! I don't even decorate for the holidays in the amount that I did in the past. I find peace in having and doing less. ❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I'm so glad to hear from you. What great support! I love it. :-)

[@CoachBeckyTaylor]

We have a blended family of five adult children and share seven grandchildren, 5 of which are now young adults as well. It’s impossible to get everyone together, (especially considering that most of the children/grandchildren live nine hours away) We use to have a huge Christmas every year. I spent an insane amount of money and spoiled everyone rotten. My husband and I both love to give gifts so it is easy to get carried away. We had the best Christmas ever in 2019. My son was engaged and his Fiancé and future father in law even joined us from Bavaria. The whole week was magical! It was also the last time we all got together under the same roof. Now, we meet in smaller family groups. Someone suggested a few years back that it would be better to have everyone unwrap presents at the same time, so we tried that just to make them happy. We hated it, much for the same reasons you shared. No one took any time to voice any kind of appreciation for their gifts and no one knew what anyone else had unwrapped. We went back to opening one gift at a time since then. Anyway, this season, no one came to our house to celebrate, so it was just my husband and myself. We had a very quiet morning. We exchanged gifts, then went to Waffle House for breakfast. I didn’t decorate a lot this year. I wouldn’t have decorated at all but my husband insisted. We didn’t watch any Christmas movies until Christmas night. I hate to sound bah-humbug, but I had emergency surgery in earlier this month and just wasn’t feeling it. It makes me sad to think the “best” of times are behind us, but life moves on, and being separated by several states makes it even more difficult. I feel my husband and I are “out of sight, out of mind most of the time, especially around the holidays.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds like you've had some wonderful Christmas's in the page. But after having surgery, it's not surprising that you needed things calmer. Hoping you get to see your family more in the future.

[@kfisher6853]

I live in the same world. But I have slowly made necessary ‘adjustments’. I now keep my Christmas tree up through February! It gradually transforms into a ‘winter tree’. It makes the house feel warmer, looks beautiful & makes my heart happy. Merry Christmas! Have a Happy Healthy, BLESSED New Year! 🙏✌️🫶⭐️🎄

[@janeskey5042]

Yes! We started leaving a little table top tree up and starting in mid January- we change it to all red lights or red and white lights with hearts and make it into a Valentine’s Day tree and then after that a St. Patrick’s Day tree and then an Easter tree ! it’s fun and festive and makes me smile… 😊

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I've done that in the past and it was wonderful. Maybe I'll do that with one of my trees... Maybe the living room tree... (You've got me thinking.)

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I've heard of people doing that. It sounds like fun.

[@lesleydickson7746]

I love my tree too. 😊

[@TheQueensWish]

We gave a cheerful, beautiful plush toy to the 1 year old son of our niece. It was mailed to them as they live in another region of the country. It was his birthday. We received no acknowledgement of this gift but an email came. The email was a request to fund college donations in any amount. In my mind I see the little one snuggling his stuffed toy and joy opening the box, knowing it was just for him. I’ll never know because nothing was said.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh my goodness! That’s one of the strangest things I’ve heard someone do. I can imagine how shocked you were by that email!

[@lesleydickson7746]

Wow! 😮

[@carolbradley4845]

That happened to me with my granddaughter. Sent her a present for her new baby and never got a thank you or any acknowledgment she received the gift. So finally I asked her. That’s when she acknowledged she had, in fact, received it and that’s when she said thank you. This is the second time she has done this so guess what? No more gifts.

[@charlenecardwell8288]

Hello. First time watching your channel, and I can appreciate your straightforward truths! I think we all watch far too many romanticized Christmas movies and we get this idea in our heads about how the “happy, perfect family” Christmas should be. When ours falls short or doesn’t meet our expectations, we can easily become a bit out of sorts. This may not be what everyone experiences, but it has certainly affected me in the past. Now at age 75, I’ve become easier on myself and I’ve learned to say to myself, “It is what it is and I’m simply grateful that we are all here together.” This has helped me a great deal. Keep posting your truths! Many can relate to what you say. THANK YOU, and have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I'm so glad you're here! I think that's a good point. Those Hallmark movies really set it up. I love your idea about "I'm simply grateful that we are all here together." I need to remember that.

[@colleenhenderson8302]

My Christmas was similar in many ways to yours. I give my adult children gift cards, and I will continue that practice. My grandsons are old enough to send money to, and my young granddaughter, who is four is a demon child. I like the one present approach which I think will be appropriate for her for many many years. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to know that not everyone's Christmas is a movie land fantasy.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It’s great to have company in this. Next year will be better!

[@CarolSharpe-g8m]

Our Christmas was also different this year. Because Thanksgiving was late there wasn’t enough time as much in the time frame. I decided to start decorating before Thanksgiving. My husband started on grumbling about why I doing all of this. I thought for a minute and told him that for me it’s a hobby decorating and that I enjoy it. It really connected with him. Ireminded how much time he spends playing golf! Our daughter and granddaughter came for dinner, presents and a terrific visit which was the best gift of all! We are so blessed.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I totally connected with this! I love to decorate and do it for myself as much as anything. But my family loves it too and are always excited to see how I'll do it (because it turns out differently each year - even using the same decorations). I'm glad your husband got on board!

[@pattyallen5313]

Hi, So glad I found you just now !!!! I cannot tell you how much I connected with your comments !!! I am 69 and this also is the first year I am taking down my decorations early. I usually take down my large 9 foot tree after Jan 1st but here it is the 29th and that is on my agenda for today. I am just SO looking forward to a clean look to my home. I have realized how much I have changed this past year. I am a people person and still enjoy lots of friends and I LOVE my twice a week exercise class with my friends, but I am seeking more quiet times in my life. Just can't handle too much stress anymore. Also, I enjoyed watching you rake your yard !! That is also on my calendar for this week and YES, I do remember raking the yard with my sisters and making our house walls with the leaves. SO MUCH FUN !!! Wishing you a HEALTHY, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY. GOD BLESS

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I'm glad you found me! It sounds like we're in the same season of life. I think I'm going to go down and start working on the tree in the family room. It's time. It's neat that you made house walls with leaves, too! My friends and I had a lot of fun doing it.

[@trudyhanna5251]

I can definitely relate to your honesty about being disappointed and somewhat disallusioned with the lack of manners and appreciation from your family regarding the gift opening and lack of attention to the effort that goes into choosing , wrapping and presentation.I didn’t experience that this year, but have in the past. This was the year we tried some different things and simplified to make it easier on me as the grandmother and hostess for the entire day of meal, gifts and having family hanging out all day into the evening. I think only other women truly appreciate all the work and labor of love involved to make everyone else’s Christmas happy.I determined to find joy for myself by doing the things that I loved and enjoyed before all the pressure set in of making it happen for everybody else. I even bought a used record player at the thrift store so I could play my favorite old records from the early years.I made my favorite cookies and desserts and didn’t find myself feeling that old resentment welling up.At least I’m taking small steps to reclaiming my joy at Christmas.

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

Well said!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Yes, I think that's true... Only women understand this. I love that you got the used record play for yourself. Last Christmas, I bought myself one (I'd inherited my mom's record collection) and I love it. I'm glad you had a better Christmas!

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

Mine was ok. Spent with friends out of state. She refuses to wear hearing aids and it’s very unpleasant because she’s been losing hearing for more than a decade and is quite deaf. She spent most time in bed because she’s always tired. This is my message- when your hearing goes, use the technology we have available. There are health ramifications to hearing loss (dementia and inability to balance are two) and I am pulling away because getting together is no longer pleasant. So isolation becomes another issue for the hearing impaired.

[@CM-ey6qy]

I wonder why people refuse to wear hearing aids, I’m sure they wouldn’t refuse to wear glasses 🤷‍♀️

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Hearing aids are soooo important!

[@denisekyle6603]

My hearing aids hurt my ears and all sound gets amplified even the scratching sound of my hair , I’m going to try air pods and see if that helps, if she is so tired all the time , she might be chronically sick

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ I sure hope they do.

[@christinesotelo7655]

Because most of the hearing aids buzz or don’t last?

[@benicio1967]

I gave my nephew a very expensive bottle of cologne one Christmas and he was such a bitter angry person at the time that he immediately complained about it and said he didn’t know why I had gotten him that particular cologne because he didn’t even like it. I knew he’d never even seen that cologne before but he wanted to lash out. I told my brother he needed to teach his son some manners and I told my nephew he didn’t need to worry because he would never receive another gift from me again. I kept my word. There was no thank you or even an apology from him. I guess sometimes people end up making it so much easier on us when they fail to show an ounce of gratitude. I just could never imagine deliberately being so rude and ungrateful for a gift. My mother would have never allowed such abhorrent behavior. On a side note: we always take down our decorations the first weekend after new year. You really work hard to keep your home nice. I respect that. ❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Oh wow... that was so rude. Sorry it happened. And thanks for the compliment about my home. I really appreciate it!

[@janegerow5974]

I was taught to say thank you for thinking of me. It can then be exchanged or donated. My SIl pulled this on me again this year. Can you imagine a grown educated 65 year old woman being so awful. I told hubby she’s your sister from now on you are in charge of her gifts! Done. And not looking back.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ Oh ha… love that solution!

[@uschitech6035]

I tried to watch a movie tonight. I couldn't. I changed to KZbin and watched your videos. Thank you! I always feel better, when I watch them. You are real life, and that's what we need.❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

You are so welcome! This is very inspiring to me to read. I truly appreciate hearing from you!

[@uschitech6035]

@@TowardsASimpleLife ❤

[@JudyCarter-kl7be]

My Christmas was quiet. Getting older I just don't decorate like I used to and this year was a tough year so I didn't decorate much at all. What decorations I did put up were completely down on the morning of the 26th. Happy New Year to you and all your Subscribers! May God bless us, everyone!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Thanks, Judy! So glad to hear from you. Happy New Year to you!

[@aprilmogensen]

I tend to leave my christmas decorations up thru the winter. One reason is since decorate alot - it makes it more worth it to me to enjoy it longer. Another reason is winter can be gloomy & so i enjoy the cheerful decorations. Another is after christmas i am buzy doing tx work / so dont have time to undecorate. Yrs ago when undecorated our home it made me sad - so now i leave it up, until i am tired of it. lol

[@michellestmarentette.antoi5904]

I put the decor up Mid December this year ( I needed the space for physical therapy). I took off the “ Hallmark “ ornaments today. The tree is so simple and clean. I enjoy light this time of year. I will keep up the tree for at least a month.

[@PNWOlygurl66]

We leave our Christmas tree up until the first week of February. It is a Byzantine Catholic tradition. We celebrate Christmas as the first day of the 12 days of Christmas and then on January 6th which is the Epiphany of The Lord we celebrate another Christmas ( we call it Little Christmas) 🎄 In parts of Europe it’s also celebrated the same way that’s why it was passed to us from our ancestors who immigrated to the US from Europe. It’s so nice to have the tree up and enjoy it for a full month. Others in the US put their tree up after Thanksgiving but I like putting it up the week before or on Christmas Eve. 🎄

[@LauraB-R]

@@PNWOlygurl66 yes, this! I keep most of my Christmas decor up into February. And never take anything down before Epiphany/Little Christmas. My ancestry is Welch, Scottish and I’m second generation Danish, so a lot of my traditions are from Europe and especially Denmark. I live in New England and January/Feb is often dark, cold, wet. Why not brighten life with twinkle lights and pretty reds?!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Last year, I kept it all up until Jan. 6. This year, I think I'll take down some after New Year's, but leave the living room (the pretty room with the nativity) until Jan. 6.

[@kathleenmiller5878]

I brought my parents' tradition into our married life. Youngest to the oldest opens one present as we all watch. My husband's family was like paper flying everywhere.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That's a great tradition! I love it.

[@susanlabar9591]

I absolutely LOVE you. You are so on point!! I am right there with you. The eating, the feelings about kids/gifts/appreciation. You are brave--- and direct and transparent. Thank you for philosophising. ❤😊

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Thanks! It's nice to know you understand how I'm feeling. :-)

[@andrearobbins9450]

My husband and I give each of our grandchildren 1 outfit, 1 book, 1 toy, and a deposit into their college funds. Our daughter was thrilled with this. She has grandparents on the other side who overindulge the children with tons of toys that are soon abandoned and contributing to clutter.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It’s wonderful that you found a way to make things work for your family!

[@virginial.p.1747]

Omg if you only knew what i an going thru this Christmas! The only sibling caring for our dying father hospitalized over Christmas! Can't wait to get these decorations down to restore order...if Not for long!! Help,! New subscriber here.. Thank you for transparency!

[@HeidiLindsey-jo8pe]

🙏❤️🌠...Luv from AZ!!

[@valentinat3250]

❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm sending you all the good vibes! And so glad you're here!

[@christinesotelo7655]

It’s rough when the siblings go their way and the responsibilities of caring for an elderly parent fall to one. Is he on Hospice or a Nursing Home? Utilize the Social Worker’s resources and support groups. I’m so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I had too with my mom. Not easy. God bless you. ❤

[@janetdonahue7786]

I just happened upon your channel today. I am a 73 year old widow. I had the same exact Christmas. Two of my kids and family went elsewhere so their gifts are still sitting in my living room! I definitely want to make changes next year.

[@coppertone711]

I have gifts in the closet, I won’t be mailing any.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds like you're feeling the same way I have. Changes are good.

[@melindaeppard6958]

My Christmas consisted of my two kids tearing up the gifts (ages 22 and 21), me passing out gifts and missing reaction, my husband complaining about what I bought him. Every year the same thing and I agree with you, things have to change. I try to spread cheer and be upbeat, but quite honestly, I get sad. Less gifts next year for kids and one gift opening at a time and no gift exchange for mom and dad.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds like we are thinking about the same things on this topic. Nice to hear from you!

[@lindasharp8523]

Not kids at that age. They are adults.

[@prairiestorm5045]

This was a hard year for us financially so we had a “second hand Sally” gift giving. Each person, teens included brought a used gift, something they had enjoyed and wrapped it up. We put numbers on them and drew numbers. We had many laughs and no stress shopping!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That sounds like so much fun. It reminds me of a Christmas when we had very little money. My daughter wanted to give presents so badly that she wrapped up things she found around the house. The funniest was a jar of pickles. It was actually a wonderful Christmas. I love that you did this.

[@Lisa54321]

Thank you for sharing. I’ve learned this year that I need to lower my expectations at Christmas to avoid disappointment. I want to work in a soup kitchen next year feeding the homeless, those who have nothing are way more appreciative. Hope you have a wonderful new year 🥳 2025! 🎉

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

What a great goal for next year. I love that. Happy New Year to you, too!

[@nancyrodriguez8356]

We started a change in how we open our gifts for Christmas 2023. We pass out all the gifts to each person. We take turns and one person opens their gift so we can all watch and see what they got and who from. It takes longer this way but who cares as Christmas is all day not just in the morning. It’s so much more relaxing and we enjoy opening our gifts so much more. We had the get together at our home this year and last year. Due to my health issues, I’ve decided I’m no longer going to host family gatherings. I was so tired during our family time that I just didn’t enjoy as much as everyone else. Now I’m dreading taking down all the Christmas decor. I’m a maximalist when it comes to Christmas but it takes too long to complete our Christmas decorating. I will start packing the decor tomorrow but much of it is going to be donated. I want to enjoy Christmas instead of thinking of it as a chore before and after.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love how you are handling the presents. And yes... it can go on a long time. :-) It took me so long to get my decor up this year, because I went so slowly, and am already finding that it's going to take that same amount of time taking it down. But I guess that's okay. I just dread wrangling the bins!

[@dogmom-oc4eq]

I’m so glad I found your channel and especially this video. I can relate. I read a lot of the comments and many are going through similar things. The tone is that a lot of people are hurting. It is very difficult to confront people who are close to you about their behavior but this next year is going to be different. I’m getting too old to care anymore about other people’s feelings because they certainly don’t care about mine! It’s time for a change.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I’m glad you found it too. It’s good for all of to support each other. 😀

[@virginiarobinson2042]

I decided to hand over the baton of Christmas during lockdown. I dont buy many gifts.. a couple of neighbours children and one grandchild. I cook a lovely dinner, but with sons working shifts, we are rarely free all together. During lock down, I took bread for the seagulls and crows to the beach with a hot coffee, and sat their all afternoon sitting with the birds. And after feeling reched with lonliness....i also felt peace. Thats when I decided to let go. I miss my Mum so much at Christmas I just try to power on through. 🎄

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Lockdown was so hard. I was blessed in that my elderly mother was living with us so we still got to see her. I sure miss her now that she is gone. It was hard not seeing everyone else though. I love the idea of getting to go to the beach. How peaceful it sounds.

[@virginiarobinson2042]

@@TowardsASimpleLife Happy New Year !! I must have been a witch in a former life, surrounded by those (Witches Familiars) on the beach. I feel ravens and crows are so knowing !! 🤣

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ I often feel birds are watching me and I wish I knew what they were thinking. It probably started when I was a kid and my mom told me that “a little bird” was watching and reporting to Santa. Ha! But seriously, we have a lot of birds in our yard because of all of the trees. I love hearing them sing.

[@tg3609]

As Grandmas we want to buy LOTS for everyone but I have also learned less is more. When you buy too much it’s not as appreciated. I really admire your patience with having so many adults living with you. We all want to help our kids but you rise up more than I think I could.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

So true... My grandma was good example - one present and we opened it on Christmas Eve so it didn't get lost in the morning. She was wiser than I've been. It can take some patience having the adults with us, but we're grateful we have room. We're praying that the economy and housing prices improve!

[@tg3609]

@@TowardsASimpleLife I know what you mean about being grateful you can help your family. Our house is way too big for us but we keep it just in case any of the kids or grandkids need a place. I really enjoy your videos, keep them coming!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ 😀😀😀

[@pennydyer6199]

Our parents started the tradition of opening one at a time so we see all, many many years. We have all carried this tradition in our individual families!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That's the best way to do it.

[@jammyjay917]

We changed things this year... we didn't buy gifts for everyone, we just done secret santa, so only one gift, we all agreed on how much to spend, not much because none of us can afford it due to rising prices with everything... it all went absolutely fine... we enjoyed Christmas meal together and chit chat... this is what we will do in future too...lovely to see your snow ❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love Secret Santa! I wish my extended family got together so we could do that again!

[@Keeplookingup87]

We have 5 grandchildren ages 13-5. They asked for “experiences” because they get so many gifts from the adults in their life. I thought they might be disappointed on Christmas Day but when they ran up to me and said, “Nana, when do we get to open presents?” I reminded them of what they said and told them once a month we will have a family activity such camping, hiking, playing in snow, family movie night, ice skating. They all got happy and skipped away and played with their old toys. Fortunately, we planned an experience for early December (interactive living nativity play that 5-6O year olds all enjoyed including the initially reluctant 30 year olds) That experience was so much fun the kids had an idea of the joy these future activities would bring so not having yet another gift was ok cause they had the other events to look forward to. We did have to shift traditions this year. because of sharing our kids with their in-laws. Our former busy Christmas Eve was lonely this year. Each year i make a list of what went well and what didn’t (grandkids not appreciating gifts was on the list last year -it was devastating to me last year hence giving experiences this year). Next year we’re volunteering at nursing home Christmas Eve to ease the loss of our Christmas Eve traditions. Serving others has its joys. Other empty nesters we know made new traditions with friends in similar situations. That eases the sting of change. May you each feel the love and peace of God as we embrace the new year.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I love all of the changes you made. I really appreciated you telling about how giving them experiences worked for you. I love that idea.

[@chalktalkwithshari4173]

I do give minimal gifts; however, experiences are even better. Dinner/movie, performances, zoo/museum/aquarium trip, etc.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I really love the experiences idea.

[@RoseGrainger]

Kids nowadays are so ungrateful and have no respect. Everything they want is so expensive. I miss the Christmas's growing up in the 60s and 70s everything seemed to be so much better. It was always about family.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

It sounds like we grew up the same time. Things were simpler back then for us.

[@jenforbes661]

​To label kids nowadays is too general.I spent Christmas with three lovely well mannered children who were a delight .

[@kristinaleigh4502]

My three boys, one adult and two teenagers were very appreciative of their gifts and the overall "magic" of christmas, with the house all decorated and beautiful, warm and cozy. We played games Christmas Eve, listened to old records of Christmas music and The Gift of the Magi, and just spent time together talking and joking. Christmas morning was lovely, they were peaceful and happy, took turns opening their gifts and gave hugs and thank you's for every one. It was my grown husband who was the ungrateful ass and ruined everything for me. Complaining that my gifts were "more thoughtful than utilitarian" and acting as if the very thoughtful, useful things I had searched for months for were unnecessary because he "wouldn't die without them". (A jewelry box of his own because he's been using his father's broken one, that is filled with his father's jewelry and barely has room for his own stuff, a beautiful, hand carved wooden puzzle box to keep his pipe supplies in so they aren't just a mess out in the open anymore, and a gorgeous shaving brush to replace the one he's been using for over 17 years!) Meanwhile, the only gift for me he put ANY thought into was a pack of dish cloths. DISH CLOTHS. My teenage sons put more thought into their gifts for me than my own husband did. It's not always the kids who are ungrateful.

[@josephinerimmer6888]

My situation is different to yours in that I don’t see my three Granddaughters until a few days after Christmas. I bought them lots of little things individually wrapped in tissue, and put them in bags with their names on. They so enjoyed unwrapping those inexpensive little things, it occupied them all afternoon. I’m also taking the youngest (8) to the ballet this week. The other two had their turn in years past. They were all happy and kissed and thanked me. I’ve experienced what you did when my sons were young and it was a total blizzard of paper. Never again!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That sounds like so much fun! Thanks for sharing that you got things turned around. It's very helpful.

[@SusieBryn]

I know just how you feel, I went through this last Christmas. I made too much food, bought too much stuff, spent way too much on gifts and just went overboard all around. I thought it was going to be an over-the-top, magical Christmas and instead it was chaos. Everything was half-done and we didn't even have time to just visit with everyone. I was depressed for days after. This year we did better but for some reason I still had after-Christmas blues. Maybe it was left over from last year lol.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Maybe it was! Maybe we kind of set ourselves up for the blues. Not sure. We're going to change things next year, so I'm hopeful... Crossing my fingers for both of us!

[@carolburnett190]

This Christmas seems to have been odd for a lot of folks this year. I thought my old and very humbug attitude had returned, but then I began to hear a lot of people say that they just couldn’t get into Christmas this year. No one comes to my house anymore. My adult children and I go to my mother’s house, usually on Christmas Eve, then are together Christmas morning. I didn’t really realize it, but somewhere along the way, my kids learned to wait between gifts. My mother was really shocked the first year we were there and the three of us were sitting still and looking at her, waiting for her to open her gifts. I need to make a decision about my grandnieces. Neither of them have thanked me for their gifts for a few years now. I wasn’t there for Christmas this year (my heat was out and I didn’t want to leave either my cat or my pipes with absolutely no heat), and I thought one of them would send me a text at least.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

I do think there is something in the air this year... I guess a lot of us need to switch things up. Sorry about your grand-neices not thanking you. It's unusual to get a gift from a great-aunt in this area.

[@DairyGrandma]

I can’t imagine giving a Christmas gift to a grand niece or even a niece. If they can’t thank you, I wouldn’t bother giving them a gift.

[@carolburnett190]

@ I have only one niece and her daughters have always been substitutes for grandchildren for me. If I had a large family, I would not be giving gifts to them.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@ how wonderful that they are in your life!

[@janegerow5974]

No more gifts. A hand written card wishing them well is all that is needed. Do not feel guilty about this. You are thinking about them. But obviously they aren’t thinking of you. I’m in the same boat. So no more gifts. If they asked why …. I will ignore the question and let them figure it out on their own!

[@PauletteLandry-e1j]

I don’t blame you about the gifts for everyone, scale back and don’t feel guilty for it. I’m a grandma too and this year I had a Christmas club for 500.00 that helped a lot.

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That’s a great idea. I should do that.

[@plantbasedsenior4240]

I come from a family of 9 siblings, most of them boomers (of all ages) and a couple of pre-war babies. We use to assign a person to be Santa every year and it was their duty to pass out the gifts one by one so each person had a turn, we all watched what was received and the receiver could thank the giver. Although it used to take us hours to open gifts, we appreciated the effort that everyone made to buy and wraps the gift. We got a stocking under our bed, so that in the morning when we kids woke up, we knew they were to keep us busy and content until our parents got up a few hours later. I have carried on the same tradition with my own family, although we celebrate on Christmas Eve because my husband's family is Danish.

[@LauraB-R]

@@plantbasedsenior4240 we celebrate on Christmas Eve as well, my father is first generation Danish!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

That was the way to do it, for sure. What a nice tradition!

[@EndThe2plus2equals5]

Something my family used to do when we were kids was assign someone to pass out gifts, one by one. They were the “Santa” that year and even wore a Santa hat. It stopped us from going nuts trying to unwrap gifts and allowed everyone to see what everyone else got as well. Every Christmas we would pick someone new to be our Santa so we’d all get a turn eventually. Most kids (especially now) feel the need to be distracted by something new or interesting because that’s all they know, and it’s all provided for them by social media, apps etc those things literally rewire the brain. I hope you get some thank you cards to replace the thank yous that you did not get at Christmas 🎄 ❤

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

What a fun idea for them to wear a Santa hat. I love that! I think it is true about social media requiring the brain. I know I have to avoid them. KZbin is my only things because I can learn so much, get inspired, find people I relate to and relaxing enjoying their videos. I like longer videos. Social media is too fast paced for me. Things have calmed down here, which is a relief. My daughter and I have made some plans for next year. I’m going to share what happened in my next video. So glad to talk to you today!

[@EndThe2plus2equals5]

@ Can’t wait to see it. I’m with you, I love KZbin but I’m not into the other platforms. I didn’t mean to imply your grandkids are brainwashed or anything, but even with my son, he’s 6, I began letting him watch KZbin kids and I noticed a big difference in his attention span and patience with things he loved doing before. Christmas goes by so fast. I wish I would have spent more time with my grandparents, sometimes we only see that once we have kids of our own. Thank you for the response! ❤️

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

@@EndThe2plus2equals5 I think my granddaughter watches too much KZbin! Thankfully she has a lot of friends to play with. She’s pretty amusing, but you’d know that. It sounds like she and your son are about the same age. 😀

[@debraseiler4148]

How sweet of you to share your Christmas as it was, not as fulfilling as you had hoped. Be kind to yourself as you would be to another sharing their story. A little peak into other homes and you will find many with similar challenges. You will also see many with far more disfunction. We suffered a respiratory flu this year…. I have yet to wrap the gifts😮. In a strange way I comforted myself with the reality that many have it far worse. I sometimes listen to the police scanner, my husband works in the Emergency Room and can recite many sad stories. So we live and learn, yes?

[@donnamclaughlin9215]

Thank you for your post. I work with a struggling population too. I understand. The Christmas season is a time for honoring Jesus and prayer. Let’s not forget. God bless all. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@debraseiler4148]

@ Again, so true! What a wonderful reminder!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

Thanks! I appreciate your support so much. I believe your right that if we could just see what happens elsewhere, we might feel better about what is happening with us. Yes, we live and learn!

[@TowardsASimpleLife]

This is so important. I was thinking about that the other day. Santa is fun, but it sure has messed with the messaging. He was more of a minor player when I was growing up.