This Game Is Called Pure Maiden Captures Uncle (Squirty Play)

[@poioio96]

"we can constantly heal" actually there is a limited amount of mana points under Your health *mana goes to negative 2000 and still usable* okay, nevermind

[@hardy_har]

it literally went off the screen. beautiful.

[@Sudo_Nimh]

lol beat me to it

[@Lianthrelle]

I bet most people instinctively try to keep the blue bar full though

[@Ramsey276one]

QUALITY CODING XD

[@ts4743]

Lmaoooo

[@saint23thomas]

Steam is like a city in an RPG. You've got the disconnected AAA games living in their ivory towers. You've got the hard-working indie games living at ground level. And, then, you've got games like this one that are basically the monsters living in the sewers.

[@Lectrikfro]

Can I be an NPC that has one line of dialogue that is a cryptic clue to an item that isn't even in the game due to localization changes?

[@Veolynn13]

I want to be the optional party member that the player only recruits because they want to drag me into weirdly-wholesome lesbian shenanigans with the main female character.

[@basedeltazero714]

@Dahn They're they ones dumping all the toxins into the sewers.

[@Zorander2008]

That makes me want to play Baldur's Gate.

[@ChrisCarterWanderinChild]

This is the game Gilson B. Pontes wishes he could design.

[@Kwatcher100]

Gilson!? Gilson!?

[@sharkofjoy]

oh no I see this comment as the ad plays and now I have a new kind of fear, different from the one the title gave me. What am I going to witness?

[@marocat4749]

Samurai ronin of the shadow of the revenge magical girl neverending quest to capture uncle.

[@linedterror2]

Your mana bar was just a suggestion, it just kept going after it hit 0. I'm honestly not convinced that you would lose if your health hit 0.

[@TOSkwar22]

I hadn't even thought of that somehow. Though I think it's more likely it'll pop up the "you lose" screen just like it did with the "you win" screen. It doesn't stop the action or anything, you just... Have lost I guess? Would be interesting, but definitely not worth it, to see if you could win after losing.

[@joelh870]

My absolute favourite part of this whole game is that the mana bar just reverses and starts going offscreen in the negatives. This is probably the best worst UI I have ever seen, it pains me but I can't look away.

[@dudewrsmycar2]

Once I saw the mana going into the negative, I knew this was a quality product

[@poilboiler]

It took you that long? :p

[@glitchedoom]

Classic sign of some quality jank.

[@MasterfulPeon]

A top game of the year competitor for sure.

[@MathewHaswell]

@@MasterfulPeon We need the "Crappy Greenlight/Direct games set to Chains of Love" montages to return to the Jimquistion's "Worst of the year" lists.

[@phaolo6]

What about the "uncles" using the same poses and animations of the magical girls XD

[@benhillman8384]

Fighting an eldritch businessman in stonehenge seems very on brand for a Sterling video. It's fascinating how many of these games have such unconvincing English translations on their steam entries. Maybe it's a strategy to attract the streamers who buy these things for content.

[@HankIndieGames]

My experience with these kinds of devs is that they are really trying but just don't speak very good english and don't have anyone to proofread it. It's possible to have perfectly adequate academic or conversational english, thereby convincing yourself you can handle it, but without any experience writing with a native speaker in mind it can be a total mess. I'm finishing a video on such a game right now (from russia), should be up later today

[@Dumbird0]

@@HankIndieGames It's hard to believe they are trying when the magic bar goes into the negatives. It's not hard to put in the code if(mp < 0) {mp = 0};.

[@justjess6636]

@@Dumbird0 Hey, it could just be some person's first project. I personally wouldn't charge people to play it tho

[@HankIndieGames]

@@Dumbird0 I meant "they are trying" as to the English translation. This game looks like an absolute joke.

[@setlerking]

Many languages especially east Asian ones I believe the word for man and uncle is basically the same so when this was translated by a non English speaker they probably didn’t understand the difference. You’re probably supposed to fight and “capture” handsome men which is still weird but maybe answers some questions.

[@RafalBorowski]

"You’re probably supposed to fight and “capture” handsome men which is still weird but maybe answers some questions." Does it? I mean.... does it really?!?! Because I personally think that the - very obvious - translation screwup is not the real problem here....

[@setlerking]

@@RafalBorowski I mean it’s at least points to it not being incest which in the case of steam games is an improvement

[@Gripen1974]

@@RafalBorowski The uncle part hint on incest so we would at least get that part away with a better translation, still it would be same weird game just minus the incest.

[@Uminekopop]

Sorry to be that person, but the game is pretty much just as weird as it sounds. The word used for ‘uncle’ in the game is 大叔 (da shu) which literally means uncle (or older uncle) in Chinese. It is usually used to refer to a older man. The trope of the younger, pure girl and an older male love interest appears sometimes in romance novels. (Source: am Chinese person who reads romance novels)

[@DrPonner]

It’s not that man and uncle are the same it’s more that they refer to men who are unfamiliar to them with the word for uncle, kinda like calling a man just “mister” or an older man “pops”.

[@matzeschon8977]

Jim: there is nothing going on. Magic Energie: -5000000000

[@meganvincent5381]

Pure girl. None of this 50% diluted girl crap

[@technopoptart]

no store-brand sparkling girl here!

[@MJFallout]

neither "re-hydrated from concentrate" girl, only freshly juiced

[@luuketaylor]

@@MJFallout I'm not sure how I feel about the term "freshly juiced girl"...

[@jskd2953]

100% pure girl. Accept nothing less.

[@ThexDynastxQueen]

None of that "naturally flavored" nonsense of a scam either. Just 100% pure Girl, all magic attack, cool special effects.

[@AbsoluteSkycaptain]

Having ten thousand hitpoints is a prerequisite for becoming a handsome uncle.

[@Kropothead]

As a handsome and intelligent uncle, can confirm.

[@nathanlonghair]

To be fair, it’s also a prerequisite for becoming Protagonist girl.

[@KnownAsKenji]

Classic Final Fantasy heroes: *screams in 9999*

[@jeremiahchambers6025]

I'm really enjoying the character development for *checks name*... Girl protagonist.

[@Ramsey276one]

Shujin-ko XD

[@TheRogueWolf]

She really changed over the course of the momentous events in this game.

[@felixc543]

She learned that the limitations of her mana bar were imagined and she just needs to believe in herself

[@ShadowMellowK]

Did Did this person literally take the free MMD model of Vocaloid Mirai Komachi and one of her demo songs to make this weird asset flip of a game????? Edit: for anyone asking, the song is "Mirai" by Mirai Komachi, it's on the Japanese Namco Bandai channel on youtube.

[@cotren8860]

THANK YOU!!! THE DAMN SONG WASN'T GETTING OUT OF MY HEAD 🤣

[@elif6908]

Commenting so other people can see it, I had no idea they flipped a Vocoloid asset

[@Purinkun]

Thank god I wasn't the only one that recognized her lol.

[@boombaby1769]

@ShadowMellow As far as I know, the model itself is free, but using it for creations of any kind is only authorized for non-commercial purposes. While the game is pretty low priced, it's definitely commercial use here. Guess the creator will have some interesting mail soon.

[@LaineMann]

To be fair, the song is decent. It’s plagiarized, but it’s decent.

[@Harabeck]

As an uncle, can confirm: all uncles run like that.

[@technopoptart]

that's not true at all! i float way higher than _that_ when i run

[@bobfer5007]

I do flail my arms around a bit more.

[@jacobbalzer8755]

I love the moment of realization, “wait a minute? We haven’t even captured a f*cking uncle”. Had me rolling

[@brookearnold3609]

Love how the character is komachi mirai (a vocaloid from bandai namco) and the song in the background is using her voicebank lol

[@LuneEvenfall]

They really just stole her image song and official model from the webpage and thought nobody would notice ghkdfhgs

[@brookearnold3609]

@@LuneEvenfall I had a feeling that would happen. I've seen a bunch of crappy mobile games using Unity chan, too (yes I know Unity chan is the face of Unity but its sad that she's always used in the crappy Unity games)

[@technopoptart]

oooooooh, that is where she is from! i couldnt place the model but knew i saw it before

[@spiderill7791]

As an uncle myself I now live in fear that my nieces and nephews will exact their bloody revenge on me. But knowing that I can simply push them off the edge of the map will be my greatest advantage! Thanks for the heads-up, Jane!

[@stingerjohnny9951]

One other matter you forgot about, how handsome are you? This technique only works based on how handsome you are.

[@seanw1783]

@@stingerjohnny9951 I need a makeover then, spare no expense

[@hoabinh555]

I'm doomed, my nephew is a Mountain Ranger ...

[@spiderill7791]

@@stingerjohnny9951 I'm pretty ugly - does that mean I'm safe? 🤣

[@spiderill7791]

@@hoabinh555 F

[@sarysa]

So fun fact, often times when uncle seems misused in Japanese games, it means the *other* definition of the word _ojisan._ Aside from familial uncle, it is used to refer to an older, adult male...usually 30+. So basically it's the gender swapped equivalent of chasing cougars, which definitely seems to be going on in this game.

[@m__y-t-s]

DILF Hunter

[@Kwatcher100]

Wow, that’s only slightly less creepy than the official translation.

[@silverschannel8578]

the game is actually in chinese, but the explanation is still valid

[@marocat4749]

Not really unlce refers i think to people who are respected and still have that power imbalance.

[@sarysa]

@@silverschannel8578 Oh wow, you're right. I saw the only reviews on the Steam page were in Japanese, and just assumed.

[@jaylex666]

OK this is perhaps the strangest game I've ever seen. Magically and with the power of anime you murder your (handsome) uncle to J-Pop.

[@jackjackson3942]

So you're telling me you're not aware of the glorious Candice Debébé's saga

[@stingerjohnny9951]

@@jackjackson3942 *stares out of the window into the great horizon* No...I remember

[@eisgnom7383]

@@zUJ7EjVD I wouldn't describe the music as j-pop.

[@Lectrikfro]

@@zUJ7EjVD Also, you murder your father in that one, your uncles help you out

[@LuriTV]

@@eisgnom7383 you are right, it is synthetical music and voice engineering like vocaloids.

[@TheMadAfrican1]

I have a feeling "uncle" here is used in the Asian sense. We refer to older men and women as uncles and aunties, usually as a form of respect. So it may not be a relation that Girl is trying to "capture".

[@phillip2169]

But doesn't that remove the sexualisation? Like a lot of cultures do the same thing but it's for people who are generally close to the family rather than calling them handsome

[@azarinevil]

@@phillip2169 If you didn't notice all the uncles appear designed to be gay men who attack the young woman trying to "capture their heart". This game has some weird subtext

[@Romanticoutlaw]

ah--then the word they should have used was Daddy

[@Kwatcher100]

That doesn’t remove the creepiness factor as much as I wish it did.

[@marocat4749]

No not really its still creepy if youwant to capure a male older person thats respected and you have some relationship wher you are supposed to respect them. Like uncle of jackie chans adventure everyone calls him uncle. No a role model isnt less creepy.

[@WebHead18]

Glad to see the devs of Genishin Impact know how to keep busy.

[@protomatt_]

I love how the mana bar is infinite and runs into the negatives, plus the uncles JoJo pose. Good job Steph!

[@caseylascallette7269]

SPOILER WARNING: Jim Sterling was both the handsome uncle and pure girl the entire time...

[@1337karm]

“Let’s fight a businessman in Stonehenge” is not a phrase I was expecting to hear ever. This video is perfection.

[@HankIndieGames]

Damn this improved my mood. More of this, please. The Engrish in the steam description alone is worth the price of admission.

[@polytakos8321]

THIS IS THE SQUIRTY PLAY I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED

[@anonimoalfin]

Lololol 😂 ditto!!!

[@TheSunnyOne]

I like that Uncle Number 3 (Floaty Uncle) was more interested in the forest & flowers than in Pure Girl Protagonist.

[@setlerking]

Why did they steal your likeness when creating Jesse for Pokémon and when will you sue them for 10 million dollars?

[@ElvenMans]

Ahahah, no.

[@BluWoolify]

I like how the character and movie icons convey the idea that she uses fire attacks only for her attacks to mostly be ice and water based. A very clever subversion that I'm sure was intentional and in no way done out of laziness

[@Henbot]

😂😂😂 I think in Japanese uncle means older man that isn’t your father not just uncle. I also love how they couldn’t be bothered to do new animation for the uncle and just copy and pasted 😂😂😂😂

[@NMChe56]

They couldn’t be bothered. Period. End of sentence.

[@sanmai_van]

This is a Chinese game so yeah....... But in Chinese, you call older men, uncle.

[@princessaria]

This is in Chinese, but yeah, basically. It refers to an older man.

[@ilikethis3203]

James Stephanie Sterling - "This is ridiculous." Me - "This is perfection."

[@googleandsusansucks]

Pot, meet kettle...

[@ilikethis3203]

@@googleandsusansucks I don't think that applies to anything I said

[@sweetpeabee4983]

@@ilikethis3203 I think by "this is perfection"/"pot meet kettle", they might be trying to say that no, you are also perfection! 😊

[@ilikethis3203]

@@sweetpeabee4983 Oh I see! That makes way more sense.

[@anthonygranziol7957]

Yes, Steph, Justin's intro was bloody brilliant. I have never seen such a horrifying thing as that anime filter and the weirdness it produces. Also, the game is insane.

[@wyldchyld337]

With content this unique, why do the subs keep going down?! This is the quality we need more of!

[@Dr170]

Uncles need semi-consensual love from unsettlingly youthful-looking identikit animu girls too, ya know. #NoHate

[@jtjones4727]

And even some handsome Dads and Granddads.

[@stingerjohnny9951]

@@jtjones4727 Yeah, like Colonel Sanders.

[@ddjsoyenby]

they're technically 18..........my lawyer has told me to say.......oh hi fbi-chan!

[@Eliconean]

Can we all appreciate the negative mana bar? I wish I had that in my days of raiding WoW...

[@ArchmageOfAnarchy]

"Pure Maiden Captures Uncle" sounds like a Sun headline.

[@nickmarcello7125]

This is game of the year material, from the 5k HD realistic graphics, the original and thoroughly put together models and assets, to the beautiful orchestral soundtrack, the studio that created this game should be an example to all fledging designers and game studios, take this as a textbook way to please your audience, the pure brass balls of these guys. To pursue what the gamers REALLY want. So pure.

[@jonathansiegel435]

This needs to be the new Squirty Play intro EVERY TIME!!! Justin is a goddamn treasure

[@elseifgames129]

After last kind of soul crushing jimquisition it's nice to you enjoying yourself and also enjoying handsome uncles.

[@TheBigTunaMunster]

I cannot believe it took over 4 minutes for a "cry uncle" joke.

[@Snorchblapp]

This is goddamn hilarious. Thank you! I'm in tears.

[@LuneEvenfall]

Why in the absolute fuck are they using the 3D model for the vsynth Mirai Komachi??? The song in the background is her image song, ミライ (mirai/future) too... I think they just stole it off the official Mirai Komachi website omg this is wild...

[@blueberrypoptart2349]

I've seen everything except our handsome uncle's release.

[@technopoptart]

DLC

[@Jablicek]

I can't believe she's fighting all her camp uncles. What sort of world do we live in?

[@williamvandyke4658]

thanks Jim, been waiting for this one

[@legoinsomniac]

Yo you just started generating a negative mana bar, how do you even code something so poorly.

[@paradachshund]

Simple you just code -100 mana and don't check if it's below 0 💩

[@Romanticoutlaw]

just a wild shot in the dark--you only set it to check if the value is 0, not equal or less than 0

[@Kwatcher100]

Same way you don’t code multiple ammo types in a shitty asset flip shooter.

[@andrethegiant6969]

5:34 "What if I just hammer the numerical keys" Congrats, you've passed MMO class.

[@Patrick-Phelan]

Now they can play Scholar. (...the Scholar main says.)

[@MisteRRYouTuby]

After having to deal with a painful Jimquisition, J-Steph needed this.

[@ddjsoyenby]

we all did.......i feel my heart getting joy back.

[@player1_fanatic]

Finally, some quality content on this channel.

[@bootsthecat6718]

"when you think about it, it's quite boring". 🤣🤣🤣

[@shadowLurker4v]

Finally a good soulslike v:

[@Taikofan04]

If anyone’s wondering who the main character is, her name is Mirai koichi, a Vocaloid made by Bandai namco!

[@Feasco]

Namcai Bando?

[@Taikofan04]

@@Feasco yea

[@r3v3n63]

"You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn..."

[@plixie1]

This game gives people what they want. Intense action, music, drama and mystery. And it pulls out, leaves us satisfied.

[@TheYoungVulnerableAnimeGirls]

Never pull out.

[@HisNameWasCrazy]

It's top tier content like this that keeps me subscribed to this channel.

[@NuclearCherries]

This made me feel better about my game development abilities. Thank god for you!

[@perceivedvelocity9914]

It's nice to see Jim having fun.

[@dismafuggerhere2753]

and to think I thought pure girl's running was special, I hadn't seen handsome uncle at that point.

[@hyphz]

It seems he actually uses the same armature settings for running as Pure Girl Protagonist!

[@TallDarknGruesome]

Can I just say anime sterdust is the best thing about my summer? of course i work in heathcare and am currently dealing with the 3rd wave surge, so the bar is a bit lower than normal, but that is still an absolutely outstanding visual. Bravo JS

[@Patrick-Phelan]

Working in healthcare right now means you absolutely deserve anime Sterdust.

[@johngingras]

"The more handsome, the more difficult to capture." Ain't that always the way?

[@MrCatchTwenty2]

So fucking happy Squirty Play is back

[@WolfCoder]

To be fair "Handsome Intelligent Uncle" is how I'd describe Billy Mays too.

[@auracle6184]

I love how the animation screams "animator has never seen an actual woman but knows they 'swing their hips' when they walk"

[@23Scadu]

I was a little worried the uncle would make a comeback when the MP ran out, but then it just cheerfully continued into the negative. This is a game that understands the value of credit.

[@ruolbu]

the negative 98 life points really really made this entire experience for me.

[@nachokuma]

this game is giving us 3 mirai komachi fans more content than namco ever did 😭😭

[@teddyharvester]

Oh, it's one of those uncles... The type that nobody talks about or invites over because when he gets a drink in, shit starts happening.

[@clarissadarling2190]

Impeccable gameplay. Have you thought about doing an Uncle any% speedrun?

[@stingerjohnny9951]

7 minutes and mama needs to stay in the negatives. Git Gud

[@scbtripwire]

Doing an uncle, lol.

[@Rycluse]

Loving that negative mana bar because the dev didn't bother to code it running out

[@mausklick1635]

The intro induced some early 00s internet vibes...

[@GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm]

As The Grand Archpriest of The Church of the Algorithm, I bless this video with a comment.

[@TheGreatMondello]

This brings me back to when I was a pure maiden and engaged in elemental sorcery battles with my many handsome intelligent uncles in order to capture them. Ah, those were the days. Better days...

[@Wardog01Actual]

For the algorithm! You are loved, Jim! Keep up the BRILLIANT work.

[@Rhyas9]

Give Justin a raise.

[@anonimoalfin]

This! ⬆️ 👍

[@tedturneriscrazy]

I actually clapped when the Mortal Kombat: Annihilation clip came up. Well played.

[@TheRogueWolf]

I was like, "No way, that's not... it IS!"

[@mecc2445]

And when the magical girl fell off the map...I knew I was home.

[@StephenHermer]

Thank you! I stay for all the content, but I "came" for the Squirty Plays!

[@jackdriffill2394]

This ought to be interesting

[@sweetpeabee4983]

Lmao amazing. Quality content right here; thank you, Steph! 🧡

[@madlinkers8595]

watching this while drinking my morning coffee was ''☆magical☆'' lols!

[@poilboiler]

Almost makes you wonder what they put in the coffee, doesn't it?

[@anonimoalfin]

LoL 😂 same!! ☕️ 🤣 good start of the day ☀️ 😵‍💫

[@scourgeofsnackind]

Jim this stuff is your best stuff. plz don't stop doing it. its so funny, i'm giggling the entire time you're doing one of these.

[@koffinkat666]

Hey Stephanie Good morning to you! You inspire me to be myself.

[@koffinkat666]

I am going to send this Audio with no explanation to my Uncle.

[@peterricka32]

I have no idea what happened but that intro is lit.

[@TheGardevoirGuy]

Okay Jim, this truly is Sterling

[@Nel_Annette]

I didn't even know it was possible to have more than one Uncle! Thanks, anime!

[@smjaiteh]

This game is the distillation of that half of every anime season I actively avoid.

[@amandafrazier9724]

The walking and running animations literally made me laugh so hard I choked myself.

[@jaymanier7286]

The absolute state of it! Its like a Meme generating AI built this for maximum luls. The fuck!?

[@hostofwords]

Love, love, love that 'uncle' runs just like the magic pure girl

[@evillecaston]

"Western gaming is dead. I only support Japanese creations."

[@anonimoalfin]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@Kifter1983]

I love how the HP and MP run into the negative, especially the MP which keeps extending off screen to the left without any consequence to the player.

[@bisharp1289]

We're deep in weeb waters now. Visual Novel when

[@marocat4749]

Seofanie jim sterlings, yessss. "When i tried to be a video game critic and ended up being pure cheese chasing uncles.

[@davidoliphant3955]

Thank you, this video was just what I needed this morning

[@diggymgee]

You are really cool, Sterling E>

[@Aeon135]

Steff. The squirty plays series is my favourite thing you do. I’ve watched every one of them over the past three months - yes, over a thousand of them going back seven years. It’s how I fall asleep and has become my bedtime ritual. I’m thinking of doing a top 20 “Hello you...” video compilation. My all time favourites are “Hello you fuck stumps” and “hello you watermelons being sold with pre-drilled fuck holes” and “hello you Bonking Berlin Bastards”. My favourite squirty plays is probably Elves Adventure. /genuine Anyway yeah. There you go. Regards SquirtyPlaysFanNo1

[@pwsalc]

Is this another video about capitalism?

[@canamemiku]

the fact that this game used Mirai Komachi lmaooo

[@Incompetent_Hero]

I was not expecting that intro, damn.

[@AmyDentata]

we're having a bit of a float in the forest now

[@QUINADEN]

as soon as i saw the thumbnail i had to take a double take because i recognized the model. this was stolen from bandai namco's VOCALOID 4 voicebank "mirai komachi". its very common in the VOCALOID community that companies release stock models, because a lot of people will animate their own music videos to go along with the songs they make with the voicebank. mirai is also one of the cheaper voicebanks on the market, so it doesn't super surprise me she's turned into asset flip fodder. she also apparently was released w/ unity specific assets so that probably just made it easier. i wonder how many asset flips have her in them at this point, given the model's been out about 2 years now EDIT: also i can't be entirely sure but i DO think the bg music that's playing was also the song that was released as part of her initial launch to demonstrate the voicebank. if its not that one, it's still using her voicebank i'm fairly sure.

[@robin64bit]

Soundtrack of the year!!!