This GRAPHIC Adult Christmas Story Was Not What I Expected

[@janedough8997]

Wait, so Zeus is in the story and DOESN'T have sex with anyone???

[@asgrimurhartmannsson]

An apostasy!

[@TeroTheShortOne]

How? The guy was basically a walking dubiously-consensual-sex machine.

[@liamwilbur1897]

I know, right? He's basically the epitome of ALL kinks in existence.

[@shizotypical]

i love the fact that the obervation comes from a fellow ace

[@merrittanimation7721]

0/10 Not a realistic depiction of Greek mythology.

[@AutobotOutcast]

This story is a pizza cutter, plain and simple. It's all edge and no point.

[@patrickmedland7473]

When the fact that it’s implied the Easter bunny created the universe isn’t even the weirdest thing in the book.

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

“Pushing the envelope” people need to realize u have to push the envelope somewhere, or else it’s just being pushed around in ridiculous circles getting more pointless and meaningless.

[@zephyrian1006]

That's like the best metaphor ever

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

The Serious Mysterious Stan thanks

[@djtripnosys]

That's the point. It's an entire genre called "Bizarro Fiction". Don't knock it till you try it. So much fun.

[@georgeoldsterd8994]

What does 'pushing the envelope' mean anyhow?

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

@@georgeoldsterd8994 I think it’s like a business metaphor, like you’d push an envelope across the table to the other to offer something unexpected

[@a.r.e.j.1693]

This is a whole new level of Rise of the Guardians fanfiction.

[@mistressofmadness]

🤣

[@lovejoy5774]

How much Christmas money do I need to promise you to not say that sentence again?

[@barbararab6390]

Its a sequel

[@molliethomas2585]

🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@sammygfilms9393]

r/cursedcomments

[@overlookers]

I'm more insulted by The Clauses not originally being Ođinn and Freyja than *_anything_* else in this video.

[@KarlKristofferJohnsson]

Well, clearly I now need to write an erotic novel about Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus where they actually are Odin and Freyja.

[@cayreet5992]

Odin's wife would be Frigg or Frigga, not Freyja (though Freyja is his sister-in-law). Apart from that, yes, shocking.

[@violetsanddragons]

Odin and freya dont deserve to be dragged into this.

[@gwest3644]

@@cayreet5992 There are some theories that they used to be the same goddess, given how interchangeable they tend to be in the mythology

[@morganfreeman9106]

I should be resting. I should be wrapping my kid’s presents. I should be getting my kids ready for the big family gathering happening in an hour. And yet.... that thumbnail...

[@shessomethingelse1639]

Eh, it's only 15 minutes. You'll be fine ✌

[@raraavis7782]

Morgan Freeman You’re Morgan Freeman. You can handle it 😉

[@BlackCover95]

Shes Lunatic It’s still time wasted.

[@peter-peterpumpkineater4982]

Was it worth it? Knowing what you forsaken, was it worth it?

[@morganfreeman9106]

aurtura pal! Well, we were 15 minutes late to the big family Christmas party, so...

[@Mister-Thirteen]

**whatever your kink, I don't think you'd be turned on by this** Dom...You should know better then that. Someone has been, will be and likely is at this very moment getting turned on reading this book. As the species will inevitably find a way to make anything sexual and someone will pay for it.

[@magicamadeye]

Sad but true...

[@astrinymris9953]

Rule 34 -- "If it exists or can be imagined there is porn of it." ;-D

[@LucianCorrvinus]

In more ways than one...

[@ForrestFox626]

WTFIWWY has Hookerween for a reason.

[@sarasunshinemt4444]

Well, that would explain the recent screen adaptation of Cats...

[@ixvrol]

Dang, kinda disappointed this isn't at least ironically funny

[@primrosett]

Super disappointing that it's just edgy, not self-aware. I was expecting something like those books by Chuck Tingle. This.... just sucks.

[@atheistlinguist542]

It can be at least somewhat amusing if you're like me and get a special comedic kick out of characters usually portrayed with a certain reverence and/or innocence suddenly being thrust into crude, smutty, and/or otherwise decidedly adult situations. Just recently, I saw a brief video of a prank in which a guy was startled by voice actors in another room acting out a serious domestic dispute between Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and Donald Duck, complete with flagrant cursing. It was hilarious! There's just something about the juxtaposition of hearing Goofy say, "Make me, bitch!" or Donald say, "Shut the fuck up!"

[@18Hongo]

@@primrosett Hell, at least something in the vein of Calton Mellick III.

[@theslimcreeper3779]

"No matter what your kink is, I don't believe you're going to turned on by this." Oh Domenic. Here you are again. Underestemating the power and weirdness of the Internet! I wish I could be as naive and purehearted as you are. You are such a treat, really.

[@karfsma778]

I think the Dionysus=Jesus thing doesn't go any deeper than "turned water into wine that one time and Dionysus was the god of wine"

[@Dominic-Noble]

Sounds about right considering the lack if effort put into the rest of it.

[@aroussel270]

Depending on the version, Dionysus is also the son of zeus and has a "came back to life" theme. But still, it does not go deep

[@ciangibbons6643]

@@Dominic-Noble Some people have a conspiracy theory that Jesus is a corrupted Dionysus, they use the Romans messing up different cults as their evidence apparently.

[@byzaurum6677]

Not actually. Dionysus is also known as the twice born god (or demi god, like Jesus)and how he was reborn/revived once, just like Jesus. He was also known to be a hippie that would usually have followers around, which is Jesus-like. It's even a famous debate that if Jesus was Dionysus inspired or not irl.

[@coricallahan9395]

Concerning the author's perspective, it might not, but there is actually a deeper connection between the two... (Though I severely doubt that the author concerned himself with that in his "research"...

[@pushinguproses]

These books are horrible, but you know what's great? Your shirt.

[@smjaiteh]

"Rise of the Guardians" desperately needs a sequel, guys. The fans are getting pent-up and frankly dangerous.

[@inkmaster5480]

If they need a sequel, then they should just read the books.

[@melodiclogic9904]

Sambou Jaiteh I know this is a joke, but Dreamworks definitely won’t be making a 2nd Rise Of The Guardians film. It lost them tonnes of money, even though it was one of the best Dreamworks films

[@js66613]

This book was written before the movie came out fairly sure. And they've written fanfictions dark or darker than that years ago. So yeah... A series would work better though. There is no way you can explore the entire universe, ground the laws of this universe - which are all over the place as it stands if you actually spend time analysing the movie (which is bloody frustrating, but I still can't help but love four out of six of the main characters at the end of the day) - and develop all the characters, give them meaningful archs and possibly figure out what you want to do with that jack/tooth pairing in just one movie. Series unfortunately tend not to be as well animated though, so...

[@sbcd7808]

@@melodiclogic9904 WHAT!?!?!?! Rise of the Guardians is amazing. I would definitely put it up with the How to train your dragon movies and those are some of my favourite movies.

[@melodiclogic9904]

@@sbcd7808 once again, I didn’t say that it was a bad movie. It even states in the video that it lost Dreamworks money. I love rise of the guardians

[@zferolie]

Santa claus... conquers the homophobes.... wat

[@barbararab6390]

A time long tradition

[@smjaiteh]

Lol. So this book is basically Santa Claus Cucks the Ice Cream Bunny, then?

[@elijahfordsidioticvarietys8770]

Can Santa Claus conquer the Nazis too?

[@kyoyameganebereznoff]

A.J. Ferolie Honestly, the title sounds like something I’d totally read if it wasn’t a part of a horrible edgy series.

[@Luanna801]

You know, the Viking Romance and Amish Romance reviews were fun, and even if none of those stories sounded like exactly my thing, I could get the appeal. This though... MAN. This is something else.

[@edisonlima4647]

Yeah... the previous ones were fun and dumb but more or less harmless. This one was... joyless. I really hope this is not the review we are ending the year with.

[@benjaminmadrigalperez9010]

I haven't realised how popular the amish books were until i went to Walmart and found a hawaian amish adventure. So i wouldn't underestimate the taste of some people.

[@VTimmoni]

I agree and I hope the reviews of this series dies here.

[@werelemur1138]

@@benjaminmadrigalperez9010 Hawaiian... Amish? Does. Not. Compute.

[@benjaminmadrigalperez9010]

@@werelemur1138 me neither. I wanted to Buy it only to understand the context.

[@Sapphirerosewolf]

If I was one of those who added to the retweets I'm suddenly very very sorry. This... this was very clearly very bad. And not even in the way 50 Shades was bad in that there needed to be a public service announcement about how crappy a relationship that actually had. This... I'm sorry if I helped inflict this upon you.

[@Dominic-Noble]

Sorry if I sound a little low energy in this one. I've just discovered that my usual performance is damaging my vocal cords and I'm trying to adjust.

[@g.strobl4458]

As you probably know from watching the extra material on the Lord of the Rings dvds, ginger is good for your vocal chords. ;-)

[@DoveAlexa]

Low energy is what this book deserves.

[@carolm.7279]

You’re fine. You gave the info we wanted, that’s all that matters

[@traceyohearn6222]

Your health is definitely more important than an appearance of more energy or whatever. Protect your vocal cords and merry Christmas :)

[@sherryschuderer]

I actually don’t mind the relatively calmer speech speed

[@piersquareddotnet]

In 400 years, some author will include Robert Devereaux in a book they write. "Robert Devereaux was a writer from the late 20th and early 21th centuries. He wrote shock and gore simply for shock and gore's sake, and not very well, at that. Mankind is sad to report that after four centuries, his work is still extant."

[@doom_371blahblah5]

Devereaux was the number one worst writer in the galaxy, after Grunthos the Flatulent and the Vogons. Thankfully, his writing was destroyed when the Earth was.

[@lynntaylor9681]

Those books sound terrible. Your cats are adorable.

[@WTKB82]

Lynn Taylor thanks. They’re Jellicles.

[@tabulaaaa]

Don't stop those mad rhymes man

[@hawyee9090]

the fact that zeus is the one who's getting onto folks for sleeping around irresponsibly is the biggest grievance i have with this very bad book

[@toomanyfandoms1684]

You forgetting that Jesus turned water in to wine.

[@inkmaster5480]

@TheBobBrom That was a metaphor.

[@jmurray1110]

@Atakan Tekin thats a translation interpritation some versions make it so he was sworn into zeus balls

[@ztslovebird]

TooMany Fandoms And Dionysus died once & was reborn.

[@jmurray1110]

@@ztslovebird yeah plus in sme tellings he was raised by perpesphony further ingraining the death and rebirth theme. overly sarcasric productions did a good video on the creation of dionysus which i would recommend

[@inkmaster5480]

@Mullerornis Please explain.

[@Vesperitis]

I'm surprised that 4chan didn't swarm to this book.

[@Roadent1241]

Vesperitis Don't. Tell. Them.

[@anarchomando7707]

@@Roadent1241 too late

[@Roadent1241]

@@anarchomando7707 Dangit.

[@fusselmietz5929]

I think fifty shades of Grey messed Dominic more up than we all expected

[@Matrim42]

Bah! Everyone knows Santa is Odin.

[@izsazsa219]

There is actually a LOT in common between Dionysus and Jesus (no, not just the wine thing) He is the only olympian to be born from a mortal. He used to be a mortal, and there is a whole death/rebirth theme to his myth. Basically, the author didn't go farther than the wikipedia page of dionysus : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionysus#Parallels_with_Christianity

[@izsazsa219]

@Brina Owens Olympians. The twelve main gods and godesses. Born from mortals ?

[@gambolarts9520]

Izsa Zsa Dionysus is by all sense a Demi god even if in some texts he is considered one of the main twelve gods.

[@izsazsa219]

​@@gambolarts9520 He is a god by all sense of the term (he has a very important cult, he has attributes, he is immortel...). He is even born from Zeus and Persephone in the early form of his myth (Zagreus). Being born of a mortal does not disqualify him has a god : a lot of mortal became minor gods in the Greek mythology (Herakles, Ariadne...).

[@Borderose]

Dionysus is the only full god that was born to a mortal mother. His rise to become an Olympian is also the only one framed as _heroic_ in the ancient sense, as he did it by basically conquering every town he visits with his wine and worship until he became too big to ignore, so in that sense he's also the most human as he had to earn his spot in the twelve instead of be born to it.

[@KarlKristofferJohnsson]

@@Borderose Izsa Zsa has already pointed out that he is not the only god to be born to a mortal mother. Heracles and Ariadne both ascended to godhood. However, Dionysus is the only one of the 12 Olympians to be born to a mortal mother.

[@user-qv2qf1jk5o]

This is just so... mind numbing. I think I lost brain cells from your description of the book. I never thought I’d say this, but... I think I’ve found a book worse than Onison’s

[@marcusreading3783]

Urg, great, edgelord authors. I honestly cant think of anything worse. I've never understood some peoples obsession with pushing things past the point of insanity, just for the sake of shock value. It adds nothing and completely ruins what could otherwise be an interesting and amusing story. OMG (and I cannot believe I just typed that), I really, REALLY hope that goes through and doesn't get royally rogered like some of Disney's stuff does these days!

[@inkmaster5480]

Well, the books *are* published by Disney Hyperion, so if anyone would be the ones to make a good adaptation, it would be them.

[@stormcloudsabound]

you had me in the first paragraph and lost me in the second. have we had too much wine today?

[@marcusreading3783]

@@stormcloudsabound Nope, I dont drink. I'm just exited at the idea that one of my childhood faveroutes has another chance to recover from the horrific treatment it received from the last morons who tried to adapt it.

[@GriffinPilgrim]

The real test is how Disney is Disney here. 'Cos when Disney step back and let things play out we get things like the MCU. When they meddle...

[@marcusreading3783]

@@GriffinPilgrim Thats what I'm worried about. The last PJO movie attempt bombed hard, so with any luck, Disney will learn from that one and not stick their noses in. Hopefully.

[@brodiecrain13]

There is actually a lot if historical evidence that many of Dionysus tales were transferred over to Jesus, along with many of his worshipping methods. Including the body and blood being fed to his followers thing, MUCH more literal in Dionysus' case but still.

[@LKTori]

Idk if its the christian bias in me or what but i always like to think all religions just connect so something must be true somewhere

[@artemiswolf4508]

“Santa is the god Pan” Me, who knows about Greek mythology: oh no.... Edit: Honestly most of the things the actual Pan did in Greek mythology are way more messed up than this

[@9Godslayer]

That would depend on which version of Pan you're talking about.

[@melodiclogic9904]

Artemis Wolf I know I’m going to regret asking this but what did Pan do?

[@9Godslayer]

@@melodiclogic9904 He can make Zeus look like George McFly.

[@artemiswolf4508]

antonia cox Among other things he tried to “seduce” a nymph and she turned into weeds to get rid of him... Pan then proceded to cut those weeds and turned them into a flute, so that he could always run his lips through it...

[@melodiclogic9904]

Artemis Wolf oh wow... that’s interesting...

[@Mister-Thirteen]

The Link between Dionysus and Jesus is actually quite astute as mythology goes. Both are twice born figures likely hailing from older myths of Mithras, both are born of the divine monarch impregnating a mortal woman and both are figures of interest to the Orpheus mystery cults and the use of wine in Abramahic myth and ritual was likely inspired by the wine mystery cults of the same era. The only thing throwing this all off is that if Santa is Pan then the connection gets weirdly incestuous as there are direct links between the per-helenic Pan-Herma figure and the latter day Dionysus.

[@pugsly6338]

Edgelords ruin EVERYTHING. every god damned thing good in the word, they ruin it.

[@kimarkel]

This is STRAIGHT UP INSANITY and he nailed it EDGELORD, that's it.... But I couldn't stop laughing, I mean his beautiful watchers have scarred him so much with other content to review before, that he can delivers sentences like "the easter bunny swatted in his plans to bang santa's wife"and he looks so done the entire time...At a level of a "most weird fanfiction, reviewer veteran" Thank you Dom, your work, pain and sacrifices are appreciated and you're just amazing wether it's for review like this or the incredible works like lost in adaptation, 50 shades of emotional abuse etc. (fingers crossed for PERCY JACKSON DESERVED BETTER)

[@michealdavisprince]

there actually are a lot of cool parallels between dionysus and jesus beyond wine like being reborn, being born via virgin mortal lady (usually), being way closer to humans than the other god(s) and if you ask me, being associated with foreigners and the lower class. it's obviously not /super/ close, but it is interesting to research (unless you get stuck on a weird lowQ christian conspiracy website).

[@Anonymous_P]

Dyonisus mother was for sure mortal, but virgin? Zeuz? Yeah I don't think so.

[@michealdavisprince]

@@Anonymous_P at least int he versions i've consumed, its more virgin birth. smth smth, zeus put a babu in a lady and hera said fuck that and killed her, zeus than took dionysus/his heart from the mom and sewed him into his leg, from which he was born/reborn. in another version, something happened to dionysus's original mom and zeus put him into another lady, both of which would result in a 'virgin birth'.

[@alicecooper3646]

The cult of Dionysus was an orphic cult, one of several revering the mysteries of death and the afterlife. The theme of death and resurrection/rebirth is in all of the origin myths for Dionysus, the most notable of which is when he is torn to pieces and eaten by Titans, and then reborn when Zeus rescues his heart and places in either the mortal woman Semele (so virgin birth) or his own thigh to be reborn. Christianity also started as a mystery cult in an area with significant Roman influence, with similar themes of death, resurrection, and the afterlife, and many scholars think the Dionysus myths influenced the Jesus myths. For a pretty fun, more comprehensive explanation of Dionysus go check out the video by Overly Sarcastic Productions.

[@michealdavisprince]

@@alicecooper3646 ahh i love that video! It was one of the first i recommended to my big brother when he was looking into dionysus for a story!

[@peter-peterpumpkineater4982]

And the fact that Jesus was notorious for partying and drinking that wine right

[@Avatarfan10000]

Okay I honestly and without any sarcasm or irony say that 50 shades of gray is a better story overall. Not saying 50 shades of gray is good but it knows how to be edgy in a way people would enjoy. Yes it promotes abuse but this is in a realm all it's own. When a book bring up child abuse in such a way that the abuser is still "redeemable" I nope the fuck out of there.

[@sleepysera]

Idk about that. What makes 50 Shades so horrible is that it tries to honestly excuse emotional and physical abuse, which I find legitimately dangerous. And we know it works because of the crazy amount of people who wished to actually be in a relationship like in that book and then obviously were miserable and suffering and stayed in it anyway because they thought if you love strongly enough the abuse will "fix" itsself. This book on the other hand KNOWS that it is horrible, it was literally written with that in mind. No one is gonna go "Oh yea the characters in this are so romantic and loveable, I wish *I* had a husband that feeds his cum to children as candy!", because everyone and the book itsself have the awareness that *this is horrible stuff* ...

[@Avatarfan10000]

​@@sleepysera This book has a similar thing though. Rachel just forgives Santa and wants to be in a relationship. I get it that most of the book is messed up but there is always that risk of someone believing that it might be a good thing. If someone goes in with the mentality that a stopped clock is right twice a day they might see that as okay.

[@anaiglesias9972]

*surprised Pikachu face while listening this* 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

[@franzkissel1369]

You should really check out the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. They're a mix of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter and Jack Reacher. They also explore the concept of every belief being true. They're also hilarious.

[@coricallahan9395]

I agree that the conversion of these greek gods to mythological creatures and characters from christian mythology wasn't handled well, it rarely is, but there is actually a really good argument for Jesus being associated with Dionysos: Firstly, there's the whole thing with the orphic cult and the elysian mysteries, which deal with death and rebirth and which Dionysos was a central figure in. Second, due to his being first born to Persephone and Zeus as Zagreus, then murdered by Hera, and reborn through the woman Semele as Dionysos, he fits in the whole died and came back to life scheme... Further arguments can be made for the wine, as drinking wine to celebrate Jesus is still a thing Christians do, and the constant cult-like following, e.g. the Apostles, Martyrs, etc. Bonus: Jesus hung out with whores and party people a suspicious lot, so he's got that going for him. So yeah, I'm totally up for Jesus being compared to Dionysos, but if one more person equates Hades to Satan, I will throw something.

[@azuregriffin1116]

My headcanon: Jesus is a coverup for another one of Zeus's affairs got *wayyyyy* outta hand.

[@MeluhKnight]

true but Jesus is actually a copypaste of the demigod mythras woulda been a better fit

[@TearsOfEternity]

The summary of the summary gives a very unsettling mental-image for anyone who has watched Rise of the Guardians. Can't...unsee... O.O Also, the cats are adorable.

[@joeevans5770]

This makes 50 shades of Grey look normal

[@Desaki65]

God bless your nerves, every one. And thank you for this video - that cover was just icky enough for me really need to know what the [RADIO EDIT] was going on in there. I need your tshirt immediately. * rushes off to the Googleness *

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

I never thought I would ever say this but... * deep sigh * 50 Shades of Grey was a better story.

[@gimzod76]

This book is approaching exterminatus levels that even the chaos gods would find disturbing

[@merrittanimation7721]

The one thing in that universe that everyone agrees on. Even the Tyranids.

[@gimzod76]

Well except the dark eldar but they'll wank off to anything

[@unluckyone1655]

Slaanesh doesn't find this pleasing

[@unluckyone1655]

@@gimzod76 nah, i think even the dark eldar would find this tasteless and boring

[@pacoromes]

I am dead, having died from unceasing laughter for 15 minutes and 6 seconds.

[@NerdXZ-pn4nt]

I think we can all agreed to a book burning for this one. no matter what race or religion we are in.

[@elijahfordsidioticvarietys8770]

HEAR HEAR!!!

[@dylanchouinard6141]

They say “he who destroys a good book kills reason itself,” thankfully this was not a good book

[@imveryangryitsnotbutter]

"Hello and welcome to Lost in Adaptation, where bad books burn."

[@DubiousConsumption]

It reminds me of a subgenre called Bizarro. Most of it is this type of stuff, with one of the mainstays being "Baby Jesus Butt Plug" by Carlton Merrick III.

[@djtripnosys]

It IS Bizarro. Robert Devereaux is one of Carton's buddies. And my personal Mellick favorite is "Cannibals of Candyland". The dude is just crazy and hilarious.

[@BuddyL]

05:50: "🎅, still naked and covered in the Tooth Faerie's stank..." Say no more, Dom... *PLEASE* 😨

[@TheRealNormanBates]

BuddyL would that stank be _tooth decay?_ And I’m guessing this is _after_ Santa filled her cavity, right?

[@BellaFalk95]

Rise of the Guardians is my all time favorite movie. The descrition to this book disturbed me in so many, many ways. I need to read The guardians of childhood books again after that.

[@cassy3575]

I feel like just listening to that synopsis has put me on the naughty list.

[@l.francesca4780]

Me: "How bad could it be?" The Dom: Mentions vore. Me: "Well... considering everything else he just talked about, I imagine it's the gruesome kind and not the "LOL, Tom and Jerry" kind or the "plot-advancing, Little Red Riding Hood, fairytale" kind so... Yeah. Must be bad."

[@Tenoreyumik]

We're getting closer to the day when Dominic will review Chuck Tingle books

[@matchaleche]

Oh my God, I NEED him to review that stuff to have a fulfilled life!

[@lahlybird895]

This has now actually happened

[@pupax2000]

That was horrendous and hilarious. Merry Christmas Dom and every single beautiful watcher!

[@doubledamn2599]

So Dom, what IS your favourite Discworld book? Or rather, from a single collection of Discworld books, what is your favourite? For instance, THUD! is probably my favourite of the Commander Vimes/City Watch Collection while Reaper Man or Hogfather would be up there for the Death collection. Any potential favourite of the Rincewind collection would have more to do with the Silver Horde than Rincewind himself.

[@pinkimietz3243]

Do you read Walter Moers by any chance? I think you would much appreciate his books.

[@doubledamn2599]

@@pinkimietz3243 Unfortunately I am not familiar, but I will look into it.

[@eventhorizon]

I saw the title, I heard the warnings, thennnnnn I too was also surprised by where it went... Thank you for taking the hit so we can have a watered-down version of the horrors that you inflict on yourself for us...

[@clarahesse3970]

I looked up vore, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

[@morganrobinson8042]

Curiosity on the internet is not your friend. If you don't know what a fetish is, save it until a person you know in real life brings it up. It is so much easier to filter out horrors you can never unknow.

[@liberatusblair]

Yeah, looking up stuff on the internet is a dangerous business. Figuring out why a guy named "voregore" had a 5 out of 5 rating on a website for comics 'n the like was a grave mistake.

[@Mister-Thirteen]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[@tommy25185]

eldospinks same

[@legzfalloffgirl5148]

What is vore? I'm scared to look...😱😱😱

[@jessicah9311]

This reminds me of the time I was in a group for aspiring writers. I met a fellow writer who was enthusiastic about my writing and asked me to read a novel he had written. It was technically published online and for sale. He did send me a free copy though. It was also edited. The writer told me his editor told him his work was by far the most disturbing stuff he’d ever read as if that was a compliment. I tried to read it but it was insanely awful. Poorly written and clearly meant to just push the limits. I couldn’t think of a single positive thing to say about it. I didn’t wasn’t to drag this otherwise nice enough person so when he pressed me for my thoughts I blocked him.

[@mischief3962]

What was in the book??

[@FriendlyKitten]

What the....... what...? wha..... what is going on with that book cover?

[@raraavis7782]

Line Bjørgen Well, let me explain....or maybe not. 😲😆😂

[@or_gluzman561Peace_IL_PS]

exactly what i was saying this cover THE FUCK?!

[@PepperJAQ]

Not even half way through and... oh dear lord what the hell? How did you make it through all of that? HOOOOW?

[@mementomori5580]

Wait wait wait... did you really not see the Connection between Dionysus and Jesus? One of Jesus' most famous party tricks was turning water into WINE (which, let's be honest, is pretty weird and untypical for the supposed "Son of God", but well, here we are). That's all you need to justify Jesus being the rebrandet version of Dionysus.

[@RenaDeles]

Also dionysus died and came back, was a radical, and had a lot of other Jesus y things before his myth got tamed down. People should watch the overly sarcastic productions video about him

[@SpookyDeerArt]

dont judge him, he liked to party on occasion.

[@astrinymris9953]

Didn't the turning water into wine thing only happen in the Gospel of John, which includes a lot of concepts from Greek philosophy? That makes it seem like the Jesus/Dionysus parallel was deliberate, or perhaps subconscious.

[@MsWill813]

I watched one of your reviews and I am hooked.

[@ThePwnzerWillDie]

Dionysus is also the god of wine, so he turned water into wine

[@merrittanimation7721]

Also in one version of his birth story Dionysus was torn apart as an infant before coming back to life. And there was one time he killed a guy for suppressing his worship and refusing to recognizes him as a god, which has all sorts of comparisons.

[@lotusthemermaid]

@@merrittanimation7721 I was with you until that last bit. I've read the Bible and Jesus definitely didn't do anything similar.

[@merrittanimation7721]

@@lotusthemermaid I meant more in a general "worship God or get destroyed" not to Jesus specifically. Should've been more specific.

[@lotusthemermaid]

@@merrittanimation7721 You're good, fam.

[@ThePwnzerWillDie]

@Mullerornis shook that part of this book is brilliant

[@bellarkcox1243]

Not gonna lie, this book sounds like a "so bad it's good" despite everything you said so I am totally gonna read it.

[@ruthanderson4925]

OMG I read this in high school. It's like a sick fever dream.

[@EspaALSC]

I'm so sorry we all had to go through this, especially you Dom. Merry Christmas everyone!

[@toetotipthatsabart5048]

Whoever painted that cover should’ve gotten all the revenue from book sales.

[@charliedawson4877]

This is not the Christmas story we wanted, but it's not the Christmas story we needed.

[@christy1819]

Please tell me this isn’t Santa related. I’m so nervous. Edit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@TLSoulDude]

This is what I like to call a Pizza Cutter Story: All edge, no point.

[@user-id6po7lw2o]

I just started skipping a couple of times and by the time I reached the end all I can say is: I wish I could give you a hug. F@ck me, that was a horrible thing to hear. I can't even begin to imagine what reading it was like. Happy holidays, Dominic.

[@emikikuno]

The cover alone would have sent me running away... You are very brave.

[@thespittake6636]

Overly sarcastic productions did a video on the Greek wine and party god that would give more explanation as to why he is a good fit to play jesus.

[@shrimpbisque]

I cracked up at the Tooth Fairy's stance on the cover. She's like *power-shitting*

[@shmee123ful]

the Dom: the summary of the summary is that the tooth fairy is going to F, Santa and the easter bunny is going to watch' me: well that isn't that different from the vast majority of rise of the guardians fan art I have unfortunately happened upon while scorling while having nothing better to do. so so much porn...very very questionable porn

[@TheMrOkamiden]

Learning about this story really set the tone for 2020 perfectly.

[@kismete6921]

You should read “Trucking through time.”

[@Gloomdrake]

That title is simultaneously amazing and terrible

[@merrittanimation7721]

I am both curious and concerned, given the context of this comment in this video.

[@Wanttowrite]

This review is best summed up as WTF.

[@professorbutters]

You could just go straight to Chuck Tingle’s “Pounded In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups,” which has both Santa and Jesus and is infinitely better and funnier and everyone seems to have a good time.

[@lux0rd01]

This may have actually shut my brain down more than 50 shades

[@lilaskiwan2987]

You are very brave... And I did not imagine I would learn the existance of such writings... Have a wonderfull holidays, lots of love from France.

[@Juliett-A]

"As the tooth fairy rides the easter bunny while eating his teeth and shitting out gold coins." And then it gets weird and goes downhill from there. ^_^

[@TheSquishySnail]

I am just impressed you can summarize the story with such a straight face.

[@Muzer0]

"Sleeping daughter, Wednesday"... The one thing this needed was an Addams Family cameo!

[@lisazdvoru1660]

Didn't he say Wendy?

[@Muzer0]

@@lisazdvoru1660 he said Wednesday in the outtakes at the end

[@GeneralCalypso]

I knew he was in for an experience when I saw the cover font. Deadite Press uses it for all their books and they publish some out-there stuff.

[@DoctorInk20]

I'm surprised this wasn't called "The Aristocrats".

[@synth_dahl4438]

This makes me want to cry, but at the same time... I must read it, while I cry

[@kassaria3426]

That was... Yeah, that was is all I can say.

[@364dragonrider]

Also for the record we all know that Santa would not be pan, Santa would be Odin.

[@ashhinman1919]

There is one explanation for Dionysus becoming Jesus in this, the turning water to wine.

[@d73w80]

The way I'm (unwillingly) invisioning all these holiday characters are their forms in the movie rise of thd Guardians... And yeah, I really hate how my brain has been forced to shove such beloved nostalgic characters into these horrific scenes.

[@capt.kneecaps5237]

me at the beginning of the video: oh these covers kinda sorta look like something chuck tingle would do? let's see me at the end of the video: welp, time to hit the bottle and laughing gas

[@kristinlundell9924]

Wow the things you do for the fans >.< I'm so sorry I had to read that hahaha

[@parshaara.]

Wow.. Next time maybe You should do a "book" by the beautiful name "Taken by the T-Rex" or something else from the author of this masterpiece XDD

[@mattthenerd9283]

Wrapping Christmas presents while I listen to this, quite the experience.

[@Great_Olaf5]

There's a video that, while it doesn't address the topic directly, explains in some fashion why Jesus and Dionysus might be connected. Overly Sarcastic Productions' video on Dionysus.

[@t.k.mcneil1186]

A better option for those seeking a creepy, funny Christmas novel would be the Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore. While it has a similar idea behind it of Christmas Horror, it is much better written and actually funny, as attested by the intentionally self-aware subtitle: “A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”

[@BonTonBunny]

Whoa whoa whoa... what did I click on?? This is way weirder than I expected.

[@rachaelbao]

Thanks for taking the hit for us, and for recommending alternatives at the beginning.

[@cheshirekat3050]

This book sounds like a cross between Fifty Shades of Grey, and a seriously demented DreamWorks fan-fic.

[@emamartinjak3754]

These crazy smut novel reviews have been keeping me going during this (essay writing, working-filled) xmas break. Bless you, Dom

[@merrittanimation7721]

0:20 We're the same people who got you to read all three Fifty Shades books. We live off your misery.

[@JustMeJH]

Wow. You weren’t kidding. I’ll look forward to a return to form next video. Happy holidays!