This Is How You Use DOPAMINE As A SUPERPOWER In Your Life | Anna Lembke

[@janebertolani9084]

I think the difference she was getting at was that Tom’s motivation is an external goal, and she’s focused on the internal experience as the goal. She said she enjoyed writing the book and doesn’t care if anyone reads it and he wants to create something that is measured by how it compares to others. Looking outside myself for validation leads to a sense of lack. Looking to my internal experience as my goal leaves me feeling secure and grounded and connected.

[@davidwashington9113]

Facts

[@makeupbymelisa11]

We are not all the same. Just as the body has parts that perform more sophisticated functions or, in Tom’s case, more “grand/scaled” functions, so would we as humans. Some of us have to be Beyonce while others will be Kelly or Michelle. We need the diversity to keep life living!

[@fernandaquilicimola2402]

I think Tom's perspective is often dangerous and dismissive. The 'if you can't do it, it's because you don't want it hard enough' mentality is incredibly problematic. It is ableist, meritocratic, and plainly ignorant. The neuroscience on PTSD, for example, is a classic example that no matter how much you want to get better, your body is stuck on fight or flights. Be careful with this thinking and all the toxic productivity he exhales.

[@Teacher-Thayse]

Totally agree

[@paulb7207]

If that's the case she is very egoistic. She only cares about her happiness. Her happiness doesn't come from contributing to others. It is contained in herself. Sad :-(

[@999NRG]

As 25 year old battling from addiction these podcasts are really helpful.

[@sharkitty]

Are you in recovery now?

[@aliizadniaai]

100% with you there. These podcasts are a godsend

[@tiffsuth9250]

@@aliizadniaai yes omg!

[@marlahernandez-gomez6047]

How does it help?

[@karenaware6569]

Keep trying! Even if you fail, I got over 2 addictions, and it took years of quitting and relapsing. But It got easier each time

[@paulbcote]

One of my dopamine hacks involves a morning walk where I psych myself up for the mission of the day. My walk takes me through a sequence of landmarks, each of which I enjoy overtaking. I find that days that start out this way are more productive than the ones where I wake and bake.

[@stephengardner7721]

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[@ElevationMeditation]

That's a great start to the day! Just stepping outside for a few moments to take my dogs out, feeling the openness and spaciousness and taking in the fresh air changes my entire day.

[@ambermierez3602]

I love this comment lol

[@adamjames5281]

So true! Good advice!

[@AlbionRising]

And there's also a physiological effects on walking ( also doing any physical activity) that also balances that dopamine/pain balance. That's why exercising is not only good for the body but the mind !!!! Is the pleasurable pain 😃

[@msinbalony]

I have watched a lot of Tom's interviews, and more than ever, to me he has revealed himself in this one as an extremely intelligent man. He has such an ability to be open and curious about the many fascets of a concept or an idea.

[@sarahscharnett8233]

Tom, I have been following you on KZbin for years and I respect you and your work very much. But Dr Anna has absolutely nailed in this conversation the reasons I have always felt a little unsure completely believing in your approach or following some of your advice. I believe you that you’re striving for many altruistic ways to genuinely help people. But I also consistently sense a self-consciousness and need for recognition by comparison to others whom you perceive as better or worse (more or less intelligent, etc) than you when you express what drives you. I think this is basically the striving Dr Anna refers to, and it seems to be motivating more of your behavior and vision than you may realize. You are incredibly honest with other people which is what I admire most about you. But she is insightfully and compassionately calling you out on how even though you are trying to be honest with us, you may be deluding yourself. This game of constant comparison, which I know you know pervades almost all of our modern economic and social systems, is at the heart of what makes most of us feel incredibly inadequate and mentally ill. And it fuels addiction. Maybe it seems humble to say how not-that-special you are, but there are still countless people who will never have your success or money because they don’t have the aptitude or brain chemistry or experiences in life you’ve had-not because they aren’t striving hard enough. Dr Anna is very humble here about not directly saying that she is no longer striving because she knows how harmful it is to both individual humans and society at large. Striving is necessary for economic and social competition, but not for meaning and purpose in life. I hope this conversation had a huge impact on you. Someone as genuinely special as you, who can also recognize this problem and be even more honest afterwards as a result, has the capacity to create something much more impressive and important for our futures than the next Disney.

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓….

[@mattmcdaniel6412]

I agree with this. I've liked all of Tom's videos up to this one. The story at the end about him insisting that it was ok for the lady his wife saw to be a "great mother" was so cringe. What if she wants to just be an "average mother" and that's all she'll be. That's ok, too. The real problem here is Tom's arrogance and assumption that his thought process is the right one. Constant pursuit, being better each day, being self critical, and understanding yourself are not the pinnacle of intellectual pursuits. It's being happy with your circumstances no matter what they are that bring true happiness.

[@juliepenney2683]

Nailed it so succinctly, I’m finding it hard to continue watching as his ego is in getting in the way, seems he needs to prove himself, seems very needy & off putting as I came to receive her humble knowledge but he talks too much, off to find a Ted talk.

[@samantha5600]

So well said! I resonate so much with all you said.

[@bekkaadair854]

thank you so much for articulating that! I was having the same feeling but your words sum it up perfectly for me…🙏

[@missa7393]

I wish he wouldn’t interrupt. Anna Lembke is a truly enlightened person and such immense pleasure to listen to. I am following, listened to her book on Audible and absolutely loved it. Thank you, Anna, for spreading your word

[@JodyLoy]

She I terupted him when she said or, or or,

[@wellnesspsychotherapist]

Great conversation! I think what you both are trying to resolve is a concept from from Winnicott, a famous psychotherapist discussed this idea of “a good enough mother” meaning that as long as the mother met the needs of the child most of the time and was able to repair when she didn’t she was “good enough.” This concept is extremely helpful to internalize as most people are striving for an ideal of perfection that doesn’t exist. We place an immense amount of pressure on ourselves to achieve this and when we “don’t” we feel bad about ourselves (there are so many contributing factors that we may not be aware of that hold us back from taking action, this is why people need to go to therapy.) Dr. King’s quote is in order “Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

[@HeidiSvenson]

Why aren't more people applauding you? Well articulated, my dear. Kudos.

[@reallythere]

Difficulty is when one never got that basic need at all. Hard to pull up by bootstrap

[@sarahscharnett8233]

Really well said👏🏻

[@noutakka]

This is so wonderful, thank you for your comment!

[@7Motaz7]

Thank you for your service!

[@MrMusic238]

The dopamine deficit is a huge issue in my life due to childhood neglect. These podcasts are a goldmine. Thank you for sharing 🙏

[@tobyfitzpatrick565]

Same here.

[@GUCC1197]

💗

[@martinakuticic6620]

You have Dopamine medications

[@adammarcusxi]

Take some responsibility.

[@mariamtee]

Sadly I passed on the same to my children and can clearly feel the effects. Hoping they can break the cycle

[@yoginid672]

Great to hear and see this 'tussle' - a guest and interviewer not putting on a performance but testing each other's convictions which are fundamentally different and even in opposition. Anna Lembke is gentle and diplomatic - yet good for her for explicitly naming 'there is friction' between them.

[@aagyapalsingh3575]

Exactly!

[@dm_my_whatsapp8670]

░⤴⤴░⤴⤴

[@home2roots]

👏👏 couldn’t agree more.

[@phillipruiz8017]

AA!!A

[@christophercrawley1475]

Very well said

[@michaelplace]

At the basis of Tom’s worldview is this persistent feeling of “I’m not enough” and I believe what Dr. Lembke’s was hinting at was, there may be a different…perhaps more wholesome way of interacting with the world.

[@adamjames5281]

“Wholesome” is a great way to put it! She was getting at, but never said, an ontological reality of the soul. The conversation attempted at incorporating spiritual realities, but even though they both said they believed in some kind of spiritual source they spoke as if God has never revealed Himself to us. But God has revealed things about Himself to humanity. I think if it would have been mentioned that one RECEIVES one’s being, but then is able to STRIVE with that being towards some end it would have cleared up the phantom “friction” or disagreement they noted they were experiencing in the conversation.

[@msinbalony]

Actually it might be the other way around, that this is at the basis of her worldview, that drives her to sort of always have this concern of not dreaming too big or striving for great extraordinary things. I have noticed this also in her interview with Andrew Huberman.

[@youtubew.9256]

Working on "being enough" is important. Good point!

[@thomas0086]

@@adamjames5281 The spiritual realities are all subjective and part of the internal, qualitative, experiential, internal dimension ie your own consciousness. Products of a projection of programmed ideals cultivated by various influencers. What’s spiritual to you isn’t to another. If this is indicative of a god’s implantation of a being then all manner of gods are real since endless flavors of spirituality exist. A being is not received. The self is an illusion a product of complex subsystems. This way of thinking will cause you to miss and construe valuable information.

[@TrevorJacksonTV]

Count how many times he said I

[@Loveitmore1]

Tom, you handled this interview elegantly. You did not back down from who you are, yet were respectful of and open to the knowledge the Dr. was imparting. Learned so much from her, thank you.

[@dm_my_whatsapp8670]

░⤴⤴░⤴⤴

[@sallystark7]

Yeah I agree :)

[@adamjames5281]

Such a wonderful conversation! Especially at the end!

[@nothingg00]

"ANY DEVIATION FROM NEUTRALITY IS A FORM OF STRESS" GOD DAMN! IF YOUR 30 YEARS OR YOUNGER AND YOU STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY STUDY THIS QUOTE. SO POWERFUL OMG.

[@adamjames5281]

SO GOOD, RIGHT!?!? I think the one thing they missed was that the “neutrality” is not a passive thing but an active thing. They got so close but yet so far from realizing this in their conversation. It was the “friction” she alluded to at the end of the conversation. We do not need to strive to be; we receive our being. THEN we can strive with our being. WE BOTH ARE AND DO OIR BEING. They simply needed a deeper understanding of being to solve that tension. They never actually disagreed. They were talking about the two sides of the same coin: her the actively RECEPTIVE feminine, and he the receptively ACTIVE masculine! SO INTERESTING!!!!

[@ALT-vz3jn]

Living in the present moment is the neutrality. It’s so difficult to achieve but when you do it’s wonderful.

[@Natalina-up8lt]

@@adamjames5281 this was such an interesting comment.

[@plantsrealm]

The friction, the disconnect, the similarities nuanced by the different points of perspective, made the last part of this episode unforgettable! Thank you so much for the wonderful conversation!

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓….

[@adamjames5281]

It really was fantastic! Lots of light but not quite enough! MORE LIGHT! Bella!

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@GarrettAvery108]

As someone who experienced drug addiction, rehab, and rebuilding their life - I am super thankful for my addiction and the collapse of my life. Without it, I would have never been forced to come face to face with who I was and what I was about. One of the greatest dangers in the world is to live a life of slightly above average mediocrity. You can accidentally miss your whole life rationalizing that things "aren't so bad." When I get back to somewhat of an equilibrium, it was apparent that many, many adults are simply living lives of mini or socially acceptable addictions. Well wishes that we all will have the chance to wake up and lead a conscious life.

[@sarahwinzeler24]

I took a screenshot of what you wrote. Very well put. Thank you for your thoughts.

[@LoveToDance.180]

You are now an awakend person. You now have the insight anf wisdom. May you be the light who can show the way for others to follow ❤

[@iche9373]

Just take Ozempic to regulate your addiction

[@izabellasanchez8078]

I believe being on social media all day to not “feel” alone, it is no different than using drugs. We were meant to have balance and have security in all that is part of our world. This includes moments of being alone, reflecting, connecting with God etc. If we allow people including our spouses to be that platform of identity and validation we will go down the wrong path spiritually and emotionally. On top of that it’s so important to consider who are our Friends and why?

[@sunsetstormx]

Yes!!!!!!!

[@jamingovender2739]

Agreed

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@SuperBlakes2]

Well said

[@dannyr333]

Glad u wrote this. Having time spent alone in our own hearts and minds and God is super essential to living in a darkness filled world we now presently live in. Keep the faith in the Lord. I'm too guilty of rushing on a movie or watch comedy or instructional videos for my car KZbin's. But how bout turn on some worship music or write ur thots in a journal(also I've stopped in doing but for like 10 yrs strate I was pretty eager to do) This doctor is on right page. The fact is every human soul thirsts for the unconditional love of God. There is no fix for this as a world. The world has always separated itself from God but individuals and born again believers. We can identify this problem that we too engage with a lifetime without real terror such as world war or crisis.at least I speak for myself. And yea besides earning our keep and house chores. Each of us has a huge responsibility to keep our own soul. Doing excersize, reaching out to a friend,learning stories Bible, prayer, hobby, just to name a few. Needing man made drugs or pot or medicine is no way to live man. It's a battle it really is. I'm so glad u guys are believers. I watched this video this is like the physical aspect of our brains understanding but it's a deeper thing it's spiritual mental and physical. Aight peace Daniel TampafL

[@ninoellison7793]

I prefer the expression; “Meaningful Pursuit!” i.e. For your Highest Good. She is such a brilliant communicator and listener. So impressed with her fabulous skills!

[@SoCalJohnnyO]

It's the mental obcession, coupled with the body's physical dopamine 'addiction', that creates the reoccuring cycle of behavior. Dopamine spikes higher on the anticipation of the reward (the seeking) than the reward itself. The pleasure/pain balance is spot on, on the biochemical level. What I found interesting here is that both parties left out the most critical piece - our soul. The reason AA works for the alcoholic is because the alcoholic turns his will over to a higher power (God) and in doing so eventually breaks through the physical addictions and mental obcession about achieving the results. It's a path to spirituality (not religion). There's more layers here to explore, particularly given the times we're living in.

[@dm_my_whatsapp8670]

░⤴⤴

[@liamfoo09]

facts - the mind/soul/consciousness cannot be measured by our scientific instruments, but we know its there because we live in it! Its the great equalizer

[@tobytallent2111]

Wow. This was amazing. I love how you were both so curious and respectful but still held to your convictions. That sense of not agreeing, but not quite understanding what it was that was going on and being in that moment with each other.. This is like an Olympic level demonstration of dialectic play. I want to echo Anna's respect for your honesty in naming your small social circle Tom. This was huge for me to see that part of your life. Thank you for all you do and for being willing to take all of us on the journey with you.

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓

[@adamjames5281]

This is a fascinating part of the conversation! Because her subtle difference of ontological frame of reference, receiving being rather than doing being, it would be a potential solution for balancing that part of his life. If he balanced the actively receptive side of his being he might become less passively active and more receptively active. He relies very heavily on his wife for her feminine receptivity! Which probably enables him to DO a lot. They probably make a wonderful pair and balance each other out. I’m sure she is wonderful.

[@Fasyle]

This is blowing my mind. Makes sense why exercise helps. Pain in exercise balances to pleasure afterward.

[@sunsetstormx]

So good. I love your last line!!

[@AkashPatel-pb7fq]

Yup newtons third law 😅

[@wallacebonner7939]

Tom, I think what I'm seeing her try to express is that all your challenges are external. You've identified issues in your psyche, but instead of choosing to focus on those, you've found a way to cheat your brain into 'happiness' by putting all your energy into chasing this external concept (which is currently being the next Disney). The challenge you might want to consider is the one of finding balance within yourself to be happy in the here and now. It's not going to be something fun, exploring yourself to find out why the some of the basic parts of being human like having a family, extensive social connections, or simply finding ways to be a blessing in the lives of those that are important to you every day, aren't something you personally enjoy, and creating change in yourself to where that brings you joy. While the need to hunt may have been a major driver in how our brain motivates us, I can't believe that socialization wasn't also a large part of what brings us happiness, as we've evolved as essentially herd animals. Having said all that, you mentioned that you like to be a nurturing ground for seeds of talent at your company, so that may very well be filling the role of extended family for you, even if you're only raising them for two years instead of twenty plus. I also think your desire to tell everyone about your goal is to serve as an external/social motivator for you.

[@matilda4406]

the most awesome and awe inspiring people on earth are those who see clearly the heartbreak of faulty family decisions and say vehemently, "I am not going to be like that" and mean it throughout their lives. I am so proud of these kinds of people, and I am so proud of you!

[@rajurj3848]

Your podcasts have completely changed my life.I've become such a different man.Love from Myanmar 🇲🇲♥️

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓..

[@Chillmvster]

Ya ba de :). Love Myanmar ❤️

[@touchsky77]

I was with Tom when I was 25, to be a legend; I was with later Tom when I was 35, to be a legend but focus on the process of getting there; I am now with Anna since I am 45, in the middle of a pandemic. What legend? no bother, being alive is already satisfying. Giving up all your ego and your life will be better. Almost no Nobel laureate aimed at winning Nobel. Based on many interviews I've watched, they just want to be a "good doctor" and have fun. Ego can kill creativity.

[@dilinipunchihewa9365]

I love how Anna responded to Tom through out the conversation, how carefully she express her ideas, and in the latter how Tom was able to link the essence of both philosophies and especially how Tom wrapped up the conversation. Its a lesson itself ❤️

[@chasingcuriosity1]

I think Tom showed perfectly in his last two words what it is that she disagreed with. "Be legendary". Not everyone can he legendary. If they were the word would have no meaning. Therefore the pursuit sets up a situation where many many people will fail. I think what she was saying was "isn't living a "good life" good enough." And is the message of being "legendary" going to make some people who were satisfied with being "good" no longer satisfied.

[@marcellam855]

Yes! Not everyone needs to be legendary. Not everyone wants to be legendary.

[@raia9]

Its delusional to think all can be legendary and society function. The man who picks up our rubbish (garbage) each day is fundamental to the functioning of society and public health, yet no one thinks they are legendary for picking up the rubbish (garbage) do they?

[@j3ffn4v4rr0]

@@raia9 You're absolutely right...I like Tom but he's not my favorite "personal development guy" because sometimes it just seems ideas like "be legendary" feed into the toxic "I'm not good enough" heart of self-help.

[@Magani79]

on point!

[@vanessas8325]

I love how you go deep into what your interviewer’s talk/write about! You seem to be a very active and deep listener/reader and that is so respectful. Thanks for the great content!

[@dm_my_whatsapp8670]

░⤴⤴

[@ignatiusnguyen3232]

I was glued to this conversation! Thought-provoking, philosophical, and I love how they were able to challenge one another's points of view. Thank you both!

[@jimreynolds2399]

She is an absolutely great guest. She's saying so much about so many things that I practice myself but didn't fully understand. She's very genuine and obviously passionate about her subject matter - she is very good at conveying concepts that we all are aware of but have never really given much thought to because they're so run-of-the-mill. She has obviously thought about things in a very deep way.

[@renataOliveira-iz3iw]

The more I listen to Tom, more I am in love with his persona. Respect to you man.

[@ashleybriggs1198]

holy shit. there have been like 5 earth-shattering insights in this interview so far, and I'm not even done with it yet.

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓….

[@maryamabdi7241]

🤯

[@kayligo]

Like what specifically?

[@ashleybriggs1198]

​@@kayligo mainly the idea that receiving/ pursuing easy pleasure will make your baseline happiness levels lower, and the implied vice versa that pursing difficult, painful tasks will make them higher (ala david goggins, who is one of my heroes). also the story of the doctor with the DUI was incredibly inspiring. and also that weed is actually an addictive substance now, because the idea that it's harmless is one of its main selling points and I personally know a lot of people who would not only disagree with her assertion, but also actually get defensive about the topic. but what I've actually found myself thinking about the most is how towards the end she was disagreeing with impact theory's basic premise of intensely pursuing your goals. I was actually kind of offended by what she said re imposing your will on yourself and your actions, and I didn't understand exactly what her criticism was/ what her alternative philosophy is.

[@kayligo]

@@ashleybriggs1198 very cool. I think she believes doing the work can be it’s own reward, perhaps. I was a bit confused by why she doesn’t like clearly defined ambitions goals too. Maybe because if you focus on doing the Work the results should sorta take care of themselves.

[@EarlyRiser71]

One of my favorite episodes!! Love that she pulls on the opposite string to Tom's "always push forward " mindset. I'm highly biased towards Tom's mindset as well but have spent the last few years trying to turn down the dopamine seeking and turn up the serotonin to enjoy the moment more without the pull forward!!

[@sunsetstormx]

I like that!

[@vivaldirules]

I am loving this and can’t wait for round two. I, too, wriggle in my seat over Anna’s humble embracing of vulnerability and Tom’s humble embracing of ultimate power and yet both do so from an intelligent, thoughtful examination of the issues and perils involved and have a very similar view of the landscape. Fascinating! Yes, this conversation must be repeated after you have both thought about this further. Thank you!!!

[@Moderskabmedmere]

LOVED THIS! I have an idea about where they "clash". The way I see it, is that Tom is representing the DOING (yang) and Anna the BEING (yin) and even though they emphasize different things, they are having a very similar process. While striving for a GOAL and focusing on the process etc., life is still lived and experienced only in the PRESENT moment every second, and it is crusial to be fully detached from outcome in each moment, enjoying the process in and of itself, while still knowing exactly where you WANT to go, but don't NEED to go in order to be happy or fulfilled. Accepting whatever IS in each moment, surrending to it all, while still taking all the strategic actions that you believe will get you to you goal. I find that THIS IS THE KEY - IT'S EVERYTHING. Not easy in practice to do, but it's definitely a daily practice in each moment that is worth doing because it truly enriches life 🤍🤍🤍

[@petrasar]

Well said.

[@garydiggs2622]

I enjoyed your reply.

[@KMHSeattle]

Well said Stine Glem. And, you’ve reminded me of physicist Amit Goswami’s work where he speaks to the importance of alternating between being & doing. Thank you 💞💜💞

[@jchinckley]

The truth is that doing and being is the same thing, just from different perspectives. To emphasize one over the other will have massive effects on whichever of the two isn't being emphasized and often those effects can be detrimental.

[@Machka0]

I just finished reading her book today and loved it, it really shines light on how we are wired and how addiction works. Dopamine pathway can sabotage us if we take the easy routes in life, but mastering it and using it to our advantage is what we all need to learn

[@iche9373]

So you are basically living like a monk?

[@Dominickq]

What an epic interview. In the last 20 minutes, where Tom and Anna start experiencing friction in their worldviews...they did so with such class, dignity and curiosity. Great model for showing how we can maintain respect while exploring differences.

[@shirleycathcart5502]

BEST mental health program ever. Talk about being simple & being kind to yourself. When followed, can produce responsible adults (with some exceptions re narcissist & sociopaths). A saving strategy for significant others also.

[@gutsyparenting4300]

Wow, wow, wow, wow! This is one of the best interviews I have seen/listened. I normally listen to them while doing house chores, but with this one I had to actually sit and at times rewind… even I couldn’t quite get where the ‘disconnect’ was😆 a super memorable interview, and immediately heading to acquire her book! 👌

[@shannonprice5705]

I think this is one of the most informative, practical yet ground breaking interviews I have ever listened to.. I love you Tom for being able to share such vulnerable parts of yourself with others. I think it's impacting the world in a positive way. I also really enjoyed how each of them would deliver their take or their spin on a certain subject matter, but generally reach a similar hypothesis. Great interview, a must see!

[@brianjenkins5283]

Truly life changing interview right here. This understanding has completely changed my thinking and informed my decisions/processes more than you’ll ever know! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓…

[@kieferkathy]

If you haven't read her book, it's amazing!

[@Prabinesh]

Same here

[@brucelee975]

Whats some of the key points?

[@choying38]

@@Prabinesh ❤

[@alladubrovinsky7571]

What a beautiful chemistry you guys brought. This was so enjoyable to watch. Great interview. I think what AL was trying to say is that in striving/yearning can sometimes take you of if the present and ultimate fulfillment is happiness and appreciation of the present moment while acknowledging that this current moment is a moving point on a timeline. So the balance it seems would be to be present but also mindful and deliberate about where you’re headed Tom, I am such a fan. Love you

[@smooth_pursuit]

Balance dopamine and serotonin 😀

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@findingfr33dom]

I feel like the big difference in how both of you frame your approach is really the difference between masculine and feminine energy. Anna is receptive to the universe, making herself a vessel for life to move through. Tom is directing the light of his consciousness at life. Anna is being penetrated by the Universe, and Tom is penetrating the Universe. Two different poles of the same energy, which may be why you both seem somewhat bewildered at the fact that you both inhabit the same space (of living in alignment and harmony) using polar opposite approaches.

[@michaelb8073]

Dr Anna lembke is so pleasing. She would be such a treat to have a conversation with

[@dianebairstow45]

I loved this conversation. My take away was that they were both saying the exact same thing. The difference was that she was coming at it from the female/yin perspective, and he was coming at it from the masculine/yang perspective. With the understanding that women are not always yin and males are not always yang.

[@johnmayer4746]

This interaction is amazing! Having read and been impacted by Anna's book prior to this really made this content. Thank you Tom and Anna for all that you do!

[@barmanchiche]

Beautiful conversation, you really need to bring this woman back! amazing staff

[@ocmetals4675]

There is this "This is enough" moment that humans need that both these humans were trying to verbalize that perhaps created that friction. I think it just looks different for everybody and most of the journey is figuring out what that is for you. Fantastic conversation, really enjoyed it.

[@thehonkening1]

I don't think that's quite what they were disagreeing on. Anna was saying that striving to reach that "this is enough" point will ensure you are unhappy until you reach your goal, if you reach your goal at all. They both agreed that your motivations should be about the process rather than the end goal, which may never come. I think the disconnect was that Tom was advocating for using dopamine and your reward system to effectively get addicted to hard work and being productive. Whereas Anna was saying that even this kind of striving will bring about feelings of unfulfillment, as reaching any goal will just bring upon a new desire. Anna was advocating for an approach where you do not strive too hard (as she said, if she finds herself having to exert too much willpower on a task, she abandons it) and instead you find that "flow state" where your actions fit into the universe in just the right way so that your actions and subsequent accomplishments come naturally. At least that's how I understood it. They're definitely gonna need another podcast to really get to the bottom of it though, lol.

[@davajames5839]

So unusual to hear real conversation. Loved it!

[@craigbetts8310]

Tom & Anna...this has been an absolute joy to hear. In a strange way, I am so much closer to understanding MY place in the Universe, yet at the same time realizing that the pain of living is so much an important part of the journey. Yes, the End game has always been percolating just below the surface. I sincerely trust that the Universe will unfold for me when it needs to.

[@urbanaturalcalifornia8094]

never heard of this woman before, but this segment is one of the best videos on the topics that ive EVER watched, She is amazing, very smart and graceful. So many interesting points to expand on. This video literally tells the story of our lives (all least for me). Thanks for this content! All the best!

[@marianaanghel4528]

I can’t express how much i loved this conversation , some of the topics have been on my mind for a while now, can’t wait to read her book and see if i can find the answers there

[@juliekowalski8674]

It's so rare to see two really smart and well educated people sincerely curious to learn and grow from each other. Beyond the discussion topic, the fact that I was observing that brought me hope. Too often the opposite happens and people get hung up in a "I'm the smartest person in the room" thing. This topic was really eye opening. The last discussion was so important. I related entirely.

[@Punker23]

Is it possible for Tom to stop talking about himself so much? These interviews are like his personal therapy sessions. I loved Anna… will go looking for more of her interviews…hopefully she gets to speak more….

[@swedishvideos5481]

Absolutely agree, I like him as an interviewer though, but it felt like more could be said and explored

[@paulaboynton8299]

Yup. She is counseling him. He is narcissistic.

[@ALT-vz3jn]

You’re right. It’s bizarre because Tom usually lets his guests take the center stage. But in this case it ended up being Anna counseling him, no bueno.

[@groovingrl18]

He’s totally using this interview as his personal therapy session. Stop talking and LISTEN, Tom.

[@TheDocbach]

He is talking about himself entirely way too much. With that said, he is a 45 some year old some billion air who still works 93+ hours a week. I`m not saying that money and work output are all that matter in this world. Far from it. But having whatever magic he has would be really great for the rest of us mortals.

[@AdeebDerhalli2023]

If you've ever studied Vipassana meditation, her neuroscientific description of the pain, pleasure balance will not only hit home but also confirm once and for all that your Vipassana practice is the real deal!! Thank you for this!!

[@katarinaprnjak99]

This conversation is amazing! I think the friction between them is that she sees "striving" as always aiming much higher and being overly ambitious, whereas this is the case for Tom and not necessarily for other people. The frame of reference, as he points out, is everything. Great example with med students, but whether they focused on the process or on the outcome was omitted as an important factor in determining how fulfilling their goals will be in the long run..

[@brentbeatty4171]

My bad habits needed this discussion

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@andiebreaux36]

Discipline, perseverance and preference. Knowing how to be happy with yourself as stated "sincere pursuits"; this for me is truth in reality and the joy thereof.

[@SherryRothwellChannel]

I love how authentic, genuine and kind these two are. Loved the content and the conversation!

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@mrvivekb]

They , both of them, and their kind are the only good things that make internet and social media meaningful. Thank you both.

[@13579col]

Tom, I think what she is doing, her strategy, is to live in flow, operate in flow, be in flow, with the universe, with ourselves, not in control of the outcome, but a part of this enormous, beautiful story. I have been more like you.... The puppet, and the puppeteer at the same time.... But am allowing myself to get into the river and flow with each moment that this life brings me... Not to constantly need to control it... And... I must say, having children, is a huge part of the next stage of evolution as a human....into accepting your space in the cycle of life!!!! You're brilliant. Allow yourself to flow!!!!

[@garethellison01]

What an amazingly fascinated conversation with Tom! Incredible guest! I'm also a seeker. Not sure about others on here, but sometimes that makes you feel a little of an outcast. Not many around us match this. They almost frown upon this intrinsic continual quest for more. Never content is the term thrown around. When explained here, it has nothing to do with this. It's the satisfaction/dopamine that is obtained in the pursuit. Have I done enough today? Can I be proud of my efforts? Not now and then, but every single day. Would love to hear others thoughts on this, and how they deal with sometimes what feels like, isolation through indifferences.

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓…

[@paulbcote]

You have your solitary hunters/foragers, and your troupes of mounted redcoats with braying dogs. I'd rather be in the former category. You find more delicious mushrooms that way.

[@abdulmajedalanezi2584]

One of the greatest conversations i have ever watched. Dr Anna way of delivering her thoughts were amazing. Such an incredible and genuine character. Just purchased the book and looking forward to learn more.

[@ftnsco]

Tom, you really need to stop interrupting the guest, she once bluntly told you enough, you overdoing it with your story. You don’t seam to want to listen to what she has to say, and you keep interrupting her as soon as she has something important to say. You and her are in completely different level, she follows her flow and you are driven by ego. I thank you for the content, but this show is not all about you, every show we hear about you. Thus guest is amazing and I have a lot of respect and love for her.

[@sunsetstormx]

I have to keep hitting the forward button because I'm so tired of hearing him talk. I really want to listen to the guest. Yada yada yada his mouth just goes on and on and on and on and on.

[@generalb4005]

This dopamine discussion is so valuable. People pay thousands of dollars for this type of information. Very thankful 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@HarishKumaresh]

Wow. Great talk Tom & Anna. Shows two people with two different perspective, and that makes a great discussion with so much insights. And the best part is being nice and kind to each other in the process.

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓•

[@cacsoccer101]

Wow it's not often in today's world that you have such great listeners engaging in a drawn out and thoughtful conversation.

[@kjdskgj]

One of the best conversations that I've seen on this show! Really looking forward to the second round with Anna!

[@kronoscapes806]

Oh please, bring her back, she's LOVELY! This is one of the best interactions I've witnessed. The interchange of ideas and concepts, the respect, the curiosity!

[@thechancellor-]

To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.

[@kamiliatamsaouat3020]

Exacly what I needed right now . Thank you ❤️

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓..

[@cristinaavila2420]

So...if my brain is constantly making this chemical soup.... and it is this soup what makes me feel the way I do.....How come tears poured as I read this message? What was it? How should I frame it so that I can simply keep moving forward? Thanks for your everyday work. You and your wife simply inspire me. Woman of impac:) Thanks again.

[@M9Diry]

Thanks. What if I’m just overwhelmed by choice and everything . I want to be so many things, and every Avenue is cutting away many other avenues I could have taken. Meanwhile , the Avenue I chose 15 years ago is getting deeper and deeper and harder to escape , meanwhile I’m rocketing towards 50 and increasingly suicidal because I can not handle the overwhelm

[@olgajimenez3713]

Thank you! Wish you back all what you just wished to us.

[@dapsone173]

All my doubts on dopamine are cleared now...Thank you tom for inviting Anna to your show...learned a lot from her...her patients are lucky to be treated by her

[@leadershipimpact6550]

This interview is life changing for me and I am sure it is for many people! Thank you very much Tom and team for inviting Dr. Lembke and for conducting such a valuable interview.

[@HonoluluBliss]

I am extremely grateful for this epically rare event of truthful integrity on Dr. Lembke's behalf. Whoah!!! Finally I can access reference to not just integral honesty, but eloquent truth telling. When we reside, operate and conduct public media in a echo chamber -- it serves absolutely no one, nada, zilch. Thank you Dr. Lembke and Tom for an epic E.Q. episode!!!!

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓•

[@eyesee9715]

Wonderful conversation. I grateful to Tom for having these and to Dr A. L. for her science based, humanity-first, spiritually oriented information, knowledge and wisdom. I really appreciate also the honesty of each of you. My sense is that you two are at different stages of spiritual development. That’s why you don’t see things quite the same. For Tom, meaning is largely based in pursuing material goals. For Ann, it’s not. The Tower of Babel was a great material goal. What does it profit s man to pursue and gain the world, and lose his deeper self, someone once asked. Ann, like every recovering addict, would say “nothing.” Tom has yet to realize that.

[@dm_my_whatsapp8670]

░⤴⤴░⤴⤴

[@frederickduncan9517]

Me, I can get super excited INITIALLY, start but never finish. This has been my pattern for 25+ years. Job wise, relationship wise, education wise, etc. Also have ADD which I'm pretty sure plays a part.

[@rl84022008]

Powerful. So fun to see when two great minds with different stances come together to hash out their differences, and to improve upon themselves as a result of it. My take on the difference - balance. Anna takes on life with balance being of the utmost importance, Tom with imbalance. Great conversation!

[@adamjames5281]

That is an interesting way to look at it :) I think Tom also seeks balance but you are right that she was holding the key to solving their implied problem they were circling around but was never identified. The key was ontological! We do not need to strive to BE, we must RECEIVE it first, then we can use our being to strive towards good ends. We need both aspects to be well; both the active RECEPTIVITY, and receptive ACTIVITY; two sides to the same coin. I think it’s why their conversation was so powerful. They are archetypes of Adam and Eve. They went deep but I wish they would have kept going!

[@awakenedhelper]

Completely true. Going through recovery makes you not only stop an unhealthy habit, you heal internally as well. There's always a reason behind the use.

[@leonardom4356]

I’ve watched a LOT of Impact Theory the last three years, and in my opinion this is the most interesting episode yet! Truly amazing chemistry, and as always… a legandary conversation. Im gonna be referring to this conversation a lot in the next weeks and months I have a feeling of.

[@ilyakhasin9587]

Hi Tom, Truth to power: This video truly highlights the stark contrast between the persona you adopt in your advertisements and your authentic self. The portrayal in the ad, with the sideways cap and exaggerated mannerisms, seems a tad forced and incongruent with someone of your mature charm. It's reminiscent of an actor striving a bit too hard to appear youthful. However, the genuine Tom, the one we've come to admire, is a different story altogether. You exude a natural charisma that's both caring and attentive. Your enthusiasm for your topics is infectious, and it's evident how deeply you delve into these subjects. Your insights are not only well-considered but also resonate with an authenticity that's truly refreshing. It's this version of you that captivates and inspires us. Warm regards, Ilya Khasin

[@vincentsolis5149]

I'm so glad Anna addressed Tom's desire to be driven. Is the here and now more important than the goal you've set for yourself?? I don't want the same thing Tom wants, at all, however I keep listening because I'm sure I'm striving for something. Kunundrum

[@jayeisner8849]

Watching these 2 people Together, both the depth of their thought on this subject and the deeply respectful way they converse, has beaten my existential despair's ass.. at least for awhile

[@KickingwithKara]

One of your best podcasts ever!!! Bought her book. Thank you for your passion!

[@gusrendon1381]

Tom is my fav interviewer. So honest and genuine and I resonate with so much with his thought process!

[@diatabansky7120]

It was hard to watch at the end, I think that what she meant to say was that the reward in the process doesn't necessarily come from an active will towards gain, it's about flow and meaning. You can very well be doped by a simple walk or preping your favorite dish for your family as that strive towards becoming a millionaire. I do believe that efforts are put out whether you do what you do out of feeling or love or the exuberance of winning and getting it done perfectly chasing an outcome, but sometimes the gratification can be different, stress levels as well. I think the feminine and masculine view points are references to the differences portraide here. I didn't see her as a conformist spiritualist or him as a manic go getter... just two different genders with different experiences sharing thoughts. I found this interview very helpful in general even with the hard bits at the end, a satirical ending looking into the dopamine balance topic.

[@Trufles1234]

Loved what Anna said about the balance of the dopamine pleasure-pain. How too much of a good thing can take us out of homeostasis and then we tip the scale over to the other side or too much pain/depression etc. I trully believe that the more access you have to things that make you "feel good", the worst it is in terms of your mental health. Thanks Tom for having her on the show. Great interview. You rock! :)

[@qtip7503]

Great interview/conversation. Tom has really mastered the Art. Been following since 2017. Changed my life.

[@sagejunkie7089]

I hadn’t heard of Anna til this morning when I’ve been recommended 2 interviews from KZbin. She is great! Xx

[@chemalatina]

I might be wrong but I think why you both still felt that little friction of misunderstanding is because I think what the women was trying to explain is that, it is important to give yourself a moment to look back where you started and where you are right now and feel satisfied of the clear progress as a reward and also, being able to feel great with simply accomplishing small task on a daily basis instead of always choosing very demanding/ hardwork long-term goals.

[@teegees]

1:28:38 This discussion was so good. Kudos to both for being authentic in their feelings, and open minded to listen and understand.

[@NorthbertR]

Regardless of the topic, which by the way was absolutely amazing and incredibly interesting, I am very impressed with the ''quality'' of the conversation. Something for our politicians to use as an example of how civilized and passionate people should conduct a conversation. PS. I have become an immediate fan of Anne Lembke. Thank you for that amazing resource.

[@wordivore]

And pretty much most people having a political disagreement lol. But yeah, I agree with you haha. I love how Tom listens and is open to another idea other than his own. Makes his interviews some of the most interesting on the tube.

[@limmingming4022]

This doc has such AWARENESS to help people to be Grounded n blooms!!!

[@ArtimusJohnson]

The Game: How well can I manage my Neurochemicals. Environment, Stress, Genetics, Pleasure, Pain, & Conservation-of energy

[@brother_chase]

I bought her book last month at an airport! Super awesome to see her here! Amazing book!!!

[@NathalieLazo]

Dear lovely person that's reading this, we may not know each other but I wish you all the best in life! ✨ I believe in you! Love - Nat ❤️

[@yoyo7329l]

Have a great day Nat!

[@Chad-Tyrone-Pookey]

Yeah Nat, more platitudes from strangers is what we need, sure!

[@Agherr08]

Thanks, Nat may it be double for you! =D

[@g.r.2985]

@@Agherr08 ….or she might just be wanting to gain subs for her own channel.

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓..

[@alwayzlearning4355]

I really enjoyed this conversation, and how they beautifully disagreed on certain points but still agreed on almost everything!

[@DemetriPanici]

*”Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” - Lao Tzu*

[@teegees]

Synthesizing this absolutely amazing discussion: In order to feel fulfillment in life, do what makes you feel fulfilled. For some people, it’s simply being a good parent, or a good doctor. For others, it’s discovering the cure for cancer, or coming up with the next invention that will end poverty, or creating the next Disney. The key thing to recognize, is that one’s self worth and life fulfillment, has nothing to do with what other people do or achieve, or what other people expect you to do. Too many people fall into the trap of the rat race, climbing the ladder, etc., and most people end up miserable. I think this is Dr, Lembke’s point. But I also get Tom’s point, which is to always be *driven* (better word than striving perhaps). And so perhaps initially all that fulfilled you was being a great parent, but one day you discovered a new hobby and passion, and now this has become a new vehicle of fulfillment.

[@julianagrutzmann2223]

That was a spectacular discussion! I love Tom and I have huge respect for his mindset and drive, but I definitely relate more to Anna's approach to life. My sense of content and fulfilment lies a lot more inwards than outwards.

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@gloria6396]

OMG LET'S JUST HOPE THAT TOM CAN REACH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE WITH THIS INTERVIEW THANK U AGAIN AND AGAIN

[@user-fu1nw7kh2h]

Loved it. Very useful to me personally. Enjoyed the two perspectives, I seem to subscribe more to Anna’s philosophy while I relate more to Tom’s way of doing things . The difference between striving for a result and embracing the process really was a light bulb , I pretty much saw them as one . I still need to figure things out , like how to embrace the process without losing track of the goal, one can meander and get lost in diversions and details … Anna sees goal pursuit as an offering to the world while Tom sees it as a self hack … correct me if I am wrong😔 Edit: Your goal pursuit should feed your soul and not your ego …. I feel this sums it pretty nicely for me .

[@user-fu1nw7kh2h]

@@michellecd4722 Agree with you, Balance is the best way forward in all circumstances .

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@jacobr.3318]

I only just noticed the "Quotes" with timing in the description. Dude, you really go above and beyond with your platform. I'm very glad I stumbled upon your channel on a day that I had a long drive planned - otherwise, I would have never given such a long video a chance... Probably on account of my dopamine addiction, lol. Anyway, great channel - great interview - great stories - great insights. Thanks, gang!

[@dm_my_whatsapp8670]

░⤴⤴

[@AmbieJoi]

One of my favorite talks so far! I loved this one, thank you for all you do! 💗

[@stephengardner7721]

HELLO 👋HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY 💙W💙R💙I💙T💙E💙💙M💙E💙💙O💙N💙💙W💙H💙A💙T💙S💙A💙P💙P💙⁺𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟒𝟏𝟒𝟏𝟔𝟒𝟓….

[@sriku1000]

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6bIqZ2vadiKq5Y

[@altair769]

THIS Interview right here!!! THIS IS IT!!!!!! Thank you so much for this! God bless you both!

[@joanroth8594]

This was such a great convo between two really lovely, sincere and articulate people. It seemed to me that Tom is following every prescription that Anna recommends, but in a big way. I would love for Anna to think about and tell us why that doesn't work. How would we ever move forward as a species without people with big ideas pursuing them. We stand on their shoulders.

[@joanroth8594]

@@michellecd4722 ok, that's interesting, but aren't we learning that dopamine is about striving, pursuing, motivation, wanting, craving, etc. This is baked in as part of survival for our species....recall the rat experiment, that, if you remove dopamine, they won't even walk 5 ft. to get food, they will die of starvation.