This is not a Big Mac. It's a microwave burger | Ashens

[@OnlyEpicEmber]

“I’ve had worse” means absolutely nothing from this man

[@wallstreetgoats5646]

this was probably good LOL

[@bamgbose3309]

Theres a microwave burger in Germany from a brand i can't remember but what I remember was that it has been the best microwave burger i've ever had. It can easily compete with MCDonald's/Burger King's Hamburger and even the sauce that was coming with it tasted excactly the same like the one from Burger King.

[@TheHutchy01]

Ashen could probably eat half a Sega Saturn and it'd not be the worst thing he'd had.

[@beabea5985]

*wet-dog-scented thousand year eggs flashbacks*

[@wallstreetgoats5646]

@@beabea5985 mmmm.. wet dog

[@GordonHudson]

When mad cow disease was discovered I was worried because I had spent my university years feeding on cheap supermarket burgers. Then, years later, we found that they were mainly horse meat. Happy days!

[@KingPrintmaker]

@@Chiyomi_Anzai599 he copied it from the "mad cow disease doesn't affect horse meat burgers" KZbin channel. They have great unboxings.

[@SmaMan]

It's a funny copypasta, but when you realize that horse meat costs a whole lot more than beef meat, why on earth would an insanely profit-conscious company like McDonalds (or Taco Bell, as also gets brought up on this) ever do that?

[@GordonHudson]

@@SmaMan It was the supermarkets and cheap meat suppliers who did it. Not pedigree horses!

[@homeoftheinepttulpagamer]

Neigh! Say it isnt so

[@paddington1670]

@@SmaMan Couldnt even happen in the USA because horse meat is banned.

[@OSW]

Kids love StackDonalds! And their mascot Robert McDobert

[@DoctorBastard]

A box of chicken Mcnugglets please.

[@eveblackcore6165]

Or a lovely Beesechurger

[@DoctorBastard]

And a Malkshake. He says making an ancient Simpsons reference.

[@Arthurzeiro]

Kids love the Jolly Meal (TM)

[@RebornAudio]

We get it son. You're verified.

[@kraio-sfu]

Fun fact: the pipe that is piping hot is actually the pipe on a tea kettle. It’s a medieval expression, while the tea kettle itself has been used since at least Mesopotamia

[@owenjames8575]

piping referred to the whistling or spitting noise that hot liquids and food make.

[@penfold7800]

And here's me thinking it meant the kind of heat the Romans fed through clay pipes when they were melting things like silver and gold.

[@joski9030]

Nerd alert 🚨

[@Pandidolod]

It's just the sound, not a physical pipe but otherwise yeah

[@Zangamarth]

That's a neat thing to know. Thanks!

[@roythomson555]

That sofa will be preserved in a museum one day.

[@mikeswatches2480]

Without a doubt]

[@IvanovIvanAKrutoi]

Or, what's left of it, anyway.

[@LordArikado]

Assuming the one or two segments of it that are still intact don't disintegrate like the rest of them did.

[@ScrewBallTheAlien]

Hell, I think that burger could be preserved in a museum one day, having shown absolutely no signs of aging at all.

[@1Bruce93Wayne9]

That sofa is a Bio Hazard.

[@ninjapants7688]

"I've had a lot worse" - Man who ate 50 year old food before. Yeah, I'd be concerned if it was.

[@herbiehusker1889]

The 100 year old olives come to mind.

[@JonatasAdoM]

@@herbiehusker1889 Keep him away from the frozen wholly mammoth

[@CertifiedShoeChewer]

@@herbiehusker1889 180 year old olives you mean.

[@ninjapants7688]

"If it's out of date when your grandparents were born, it's worth a shot"

[@jackwilliamtaylor5656]

Textbook damning with faint praise. “Hey, this is food!” And all that.

[@couldntmixapotnoodle]

Its the return of the classic format: Ashens eats some rubbish food over a brown sofa and we all laugh at his pain and misery

[@kazuhiramiller2121]

It will never get old

[@theblode1337]

simplicity is key in a world gone mad

[@hicknopunk]

Thank god! Proof covid is ending if Ashens can risk poisoning himself again.

[@danhoppy5517]

@@kazuhiramiller2121 Wait 150 years like those olives!

[@விஷ்ணு_கார்த்திக்]

@@hicknopunk Ashens has super immunity, he's immune to every pathogen on earth because he has already injested them all.

[@PapaBrejj]

"Assemble the product into a burger" Has to be my favourite instruction ever.

[@forestcityfishing4749]

Instructions not clear...somehow I ended up with a hotdog

[@BenLubar]

It's like putting "and enjoy" at the end of your instructions. If the product isn't enjoyed, the person preparing it didn't follow the instructions properly.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

Reminds of these candy burgers that come in parts and you "assemble" them. Or basically eating two at once. And I vaguely remember some packs aimed at school children which was basically a small slice of processed cheese, some "meat" and a pair of crackers.

[@johnschoen-mccullough6251]

@@HappyBeezerStudios Sounds like Lunchables! Thats how they are: some Ritz crackers, a few pieces of meat and some small squares of cheese, paired with a pouch drink, and candy or cookies, thusly is somehow a meal

[@theyamo7219]

"Assemble the product into a booger"

[@fluffycritter]

I'm so glad that they've made every attempt to make their burger patties boneless. That's very reassuring that there's only a small chance of having bones in the patties.

[@chaos.corner]

They've probably done their best to make them meatless too. Soy protein, fat, gristle (for texture) and salt.

[@damikey18]

@@chaos.corner if it ain't beef then I don't want it

[@HuskyGamersUNITE]

having just had tooth surgery to take out two busted teeth from "boned" burger meat - yeah man. fuck that shit.

[@LorenHelgeson]

​@@HuskyGamersUNITEten years ago, I also had to extract a tooth after lucking upon a random bone in a cheeseburger.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

@@HuskyGamersUNITEnow that reminds me that I need to make another appointment to finish my rebuild.

[@jimjambananaslam3596]

I was pouring myself a cup of coffee when he took it out of the package, and I actually did that thing you see in movies where the person looks away and just keeps pouring until the cup overflows.

[@AgentTasmania]

Not super relevant but you remind me of the one bad morning I forgot to put a mug under my pod coffee machine and then just sort of watched it dribble all over the bench

[@ESFAndy011]

@@AgentTasmania Oh that happened to me as well, more than once

[@Thermalions]

You know you've got a top quality premium burger patty when they explicitly list Beef Connective Tissue, Beef Fat and Chicken Fat as individual ingredients.

[@MathewHaswell]

What TheWolfePit calls a 'formed meat-slurry concoction patty".

[@Unethical.FandubsGames]

Eh. Doesn't sound pleasant but it's not necessarily bad.

[@Housenka03]

You know, most burgers also contain that, they just list it under "beef"

[@LordArikado]

The UK is a lot more strict about ingredient listings than the US is. If we had that over here, all that stuff would just be labeled "Beef" or "Chicken".

[@abelq8008]

Stop it you are making me hungry

[@giga9955]

Don’t need no click bait thumbnails; no “smash that like an subscribe guys”, no epileptic random cuts and shouting. Just some bad food and an equally bad couch. Now this is content.

[@Chaos89P]

You dare diss the sofa!?

[@pottsy7577]

@@Chaos89P Blasphemy!

[@joshuaschritz8151]

He also used to not put adverts in his video where he says to go check something out.

[@ProfessorYana]

@@joshuaschritz8151 At least the thing he's advertising is something he made, and not some box of random snacks.

[@giga9955]

@@Chaos89P forgive me for I have sinned

[@Aeolous1]

im pretty amused at how the buns made a pop sound when he separated them

[@paulie6446]

(frozen)

[@batsardcat3285]

I was gonna comment this

[@Dorraj]

It was oddly satisfying...

[@kennethlasseter9264]

so wholesome 100 chungus

[@Gorfinhofin]

Same. That was an amazing sound.

[@AussieOddball]

I never thought that watching a British man punish himself for being born would bring such amusement into my life.

[@ethandavidson1087]

"I've had a lot worse" -he says, remembering the century egg

[@ACanOfBakedBeans]

and the Surstromming

[@GusBDamme]

@@ACanOfBakedBeans he actually made it seem like it wasnt that bad, then again he cheated and opened it under water which took most of the fun out of it, he said it just tasted like salt

[@ammon17]

I appreciate the effort you put into being pleasant and not screaming randomly, its very calming to have you on in the background while I used my limited energy to clean the bathroom.

[@deetvleet]

love you

[@lilymasters2863]

Ashens is truly the best background noise. Interesting enough to be entertaining but not stressful or distracting. Plus there's like... So much because he's been at it for so long. Literally my cleaning playlist.

[@mgthestrange9098]

As an earphone user, I also appreciate this. Nothing worse than watching a nice relaxing video then some random shouting makes you shit yourself.

[@favoritemustard3542]

Friendly Reminder to break out the mop again! 🧹👍🛁

[@peytobrock]

"They got the Big Mac, we got the Big Mick. They got the golden arches, we got the golden arcs"

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

More like "FROZEN arcs"! Wendy's joke, not mine.

[@thomashollingshead015]

Coming to America reference? I love it.

[@cristianjensen33]

McDowell's

[@robertfuentes9677]

And their mascot Raul McDowell

[@boop53]

amazing reference

[@MrKieron13]

Halfway through this, I had an advertisement for a relaxation/sleep app. It truly made me chill out and I didn't skip it, a minute and a half of pure bliss, before the ad ended to be returned to Ashens eating a microwave burger to ground myself into the world we live in again.

[@greenhowie]

Well at least Ashens will get a bit more ad revenue then.

[@Sashashka]

seems like quite the experience

[@howiedavis2316]

I grew up in an era ( I'm 54 ) where the ingredients to the big mac was apart of their marketing campaign , so needless to say, I still remember it : 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce , cheese, pickles, onion , on a sesame seed bun. I can see here that lettuce , pickles and onion are all option, as well as ' all beef patties ' , but kudos for trying lol.

[@korgscrew2000]

Only Ashens could do a 13 mins video on a microwave burger. I enjoyed every minute of it.

[@Zadkiel343]

The second set of instructions don't have you toast/defrost the buns, hence the longer microwave time. Note the first set is 6 instructions and the second set is 5, because the toasting instruction is missing.

[@charliedobbie8916]

Don't you go bringing your attention to detail around here!

[@krickster82]

I literally just made the exact 1st part of this post lol

[@petechambers541]

It's missing for a reason lol... It's basically just saying you can cook it microwave old style

[@bloggerheads]

"It's massively salty" - you've happened across their secret preservative!

[@theyamo7219]

@sotuur aeei *alot

[@sheranlanger247]

@@theyamo7219 *a lot

[@MagsterKeef]

tbh salt is the preferred preservative. They use all kinds of creepy chemicals nowadays that are...less than ideal to ingest. Some are even petroleum derivatives, idk how they get away with that stuff.

[@theyamo7219]

@@MagsterKeef Everything in nature is a "chemical" even water is a chemical. You chemophobes crack me up

[@MagsterKeef]

@@theyamo7219 and? It's pretty clear I'm talking about synthetic compounds created in a lab but hey, keep beating up that strawman. He DOES sound pretty stupid. Want me to help you? Lol look at this idiot who doesn't know what a chemical is 🤣😂 he thinks water is bad. Well that was fun. But sometime you should check out things like sodium nitrite/nitrate, they're often found in processed meats, bacon, beef jerky, and it's pretty bad for you. You can avoid this by going for uncured meats pretty much exclusively, and always checking frozen food packaging. Have fun being a know-it-all on the internet and stroking your own ego.

[@Osmosium2507]

"Mum, can we get McDonalds?" "No, we have McDonalds at home" *McDonalds at home*

[@BenjermenB]

For once this joke has a place

[@leoborn4013]

Nein, Kilian!

[@GiraffeFlavored]

I think that's the only time I've ever seen someone make this joke and it both a. made fucking sense and b. was actually funny, good job

[@MikeBrin96]

@@GiraffeFlavored Entirely subjective

[@ripmyogfireemblemsave]

@@GiraffeFlavored Exactly

[@YouTube]

Love how you pat the burger before picking it up 😂

[@leons.kennedy2747]

Why is KZbin itself replying to Ashens?

[@micheal5117]

Hello, mister KZbin.

[@GregDaniel78]

Hi Mr Tube!

[@Tangowastaken]

@@leons.kennedy2747 Paying tribute

[@lukeknight5274]

Beg that you get rid of double ads.

[@JeremyPeeples]

"I'm feeling too lazy to go to get a Big Mac - let me buy one at a store to microwave and go through many more steps to eat"

[@enflamedhuevos]

Nah this is something you buy at Aldi, throw in your freezer and dig out later when you’re starving

[@kinnelyuwu5771]

I love the fact that the warning implies this burger is not boneless by nature

[@Zulf85]

Snacksters burger: the sworn enemy of the banana

[@kinnelyuwu5771]

@@BrainScramblies look up the "boneless" meme, friend

[@wesleythomas7125]

Can I get uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh... boneless chezpurger?

[@jlan7844]

"I've had a lot worse." Yeah, I've been here long enough to remember when that canned trekking burger episode came out.

[@CatDadJai]

Oh god, the flashbacks! 🤮

[@Unadulteratedmadness]

Ashens’ reaction to seeing the bun in that can is the greatest reveal in cinematic history

[@Anyone_Else_Think]

Chicken in a can comes to mind too 😵

[@SakuraAvalon]

"Margarita, wouldn't wanna eat ya."

[@RNS_Aurelius]

@@Anyone_Else_Think One of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

[@Nelthorim]

"Though care has been taken to remove all the bones, slepp can remain". God, I miss Barshens.

[@eddy5750]

That’s what caught my eye. Well the actual disclaimer anyway. They’re taking every precaution to not be held liable for this junk

[@serveaux]

Give Slepp your bones!

[@NeoGroFabius]

Dang, this went right in the amplitude

[@RFC-3514]

@@NeoGroFabius - It definitely looked modular.

[@Unadulteratedmadness]

@@RFC-3514 dang you beat me to it

[@benhaggerty8707]

Ashens saying "I've eaten worse" means absolutely nothing

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

As he said "best before is a guideline only. so you could eat it 20 years later" And we know he has eaten much older stuff than that.

[@CosyMatt]

Fun fact: as an American you are legally required to know that the Big Macs “sauce” is just a slightly different “Thousand Island Dressing”.

[@shredz3327]

Clocked this as a Brit like 7 years ago, it’s close enough lol

[@lurchorum]

Which is a slightly different Russian dressing.

[@manmaje3596]

I thought it was a slightly different burger sauce?

[@wildkeith]

It's nothing like Thousand Island. It contains no tomato. It's mayo, mustard, pickle relish and MSG

[@restorer19]

But not the same "slightly different" as In-N-Out burger spread, or various other "secret sauces", "burger sauces", or "fry sauces". A vaguely orange, tangy,. somewhat sweet, mostly mayonaisse-based sauce, often but not always with chopped pickles or pickle relish.

[@WrittenOffski]

KZbin: Wanna watch Ashens talk about another microwave burger for 12 minutes? Of course I do, tf

[@robertschnobert9090]

Does tf stand for transformation? TF is my favorite fetish! 🌈

[@ollieb9875]

Thank fuck?

[@aidanmoran12]

@@ollieb9875 the fuck?

[@WrittenOffski]

@@robertschnobert9090 it means the fuck. 😂

[@CookiesNCreme-ty6wz]

@@robertschnobert9090 😂, tf = the fuck

[@John_Smith_Dumfugg]

Ah, the Big Stack. My favorite burger from my favorite Uhmerican food chain, WcDonald's.

[@NeoAnthony]

WcDonald’s is Japanese, though. XD

[@r0mushii]

n...no, it's big wac

[@artamussumatra6286]

I also like the Bergur Monarch Womper, yum!

[@RoninCatholic]

@@artamussumatra6286 I prefer the Windy's Baconeater.

[@andreibaciu7518]

Big Stack sounds like the crackhead gangsta wannabe cousin of Big Mac.

[@Arcazelian]

As soon as I saw Aldi advertise this, I literally thought of Ashens getting chills.

[@mswjsm]

I bought and ate one of these, all the time narrating to myself and wishing I had a brown sofa.

[@niccerkadoabuckado8256]

@@mswjsm should've shamelessly copied him

[@ESFAndy011]

5:49 Never in my life would I have expected to hear burger buns make a *pop* sound.

[@andys2801]

Rustlers, Quicksters, and now Snacksters. *”Finally. I’ve collected them all”*

[@NOWThatsRichy]

Quicksters is Lidl's or Aldi 's own brand version.

[@Tubeite]

Just needs a really blatant Macsters to complete it.

[@Psychol-Snooper]

5:49 oddly satisfying sound of frozen buns separating.

[@KernelLeak]

@Pink Kirlia I guess Stuart forgot to use a pop shield while recording...

[@Psychol-Snooper]

@Pink Kirlia I thought he'd added it at first and thought it weirdly clever, but after a couple playbacks I'm fairly sure it was a A MIRACLE!

[@bluelagoon1980]

Oh my gods. "Beef connective tissue." Hell, at least they admitted it on the box.

[@LaynieFingers]

That's the same reaction I had... Just full-body "nope."

[@eins2001]

You think McDongle patties are different?

[@callum3271]

@@eins2001 100% beef, they just don't tell you which parts

[@bilkyasko]

@@eins2001 100% flank and forequarter, so yes they are different. The "Big Stack" has beef fat, chicken fat, and beef connective tissue added to what is already present, along with flour as a filler, soya protein as an extender, and a humectant to keep it from drying out.

[@SLIPKNOTmaggot262]

@@bilkyasko Yum

[@paulherman5822]

I'm certain that this is Chef Excellence™ approved.

[@dubuyajay9964]

Doo doo Dee doo doo! 🎼🎵🎶👨‍🍳

[@ASpooneyBard]

"An Excellent Bootleg"

[@eins2001]

And Chef Mike from Kitchen Nightmares

[@Joshlama]

Chef Excellence, now that's a name I haven't heard in a long long time...

[@justinhamilton8647]

An Excellent Burger.

[@rocksoliddude1]

Love how they use a completely different burger on the box

[@KlyeKlyeKlye]

The microwave game has been upped a bit in the past couple years, mostly in terms of the sauces they offer, Rustlers has some bangin' relish in their burgers! Even though the meat in all these burgers are just pressure washed abattoir floor gunk

[@SharkNinjaBlueStar]

The description of that meat is probably one of the most viscerally upsetting things I've read in a while, bravo.

[@Zangamarth]

That's poetic. Horrifying poetry, but nonetheless

[@HuskyGamersUNITE]

you know how they have conveyors that shake the meat to separate the good pieces from the scraps? these burgers are made from the scraps that fall through the grate

[@kyrbynyaa]

"This is not a Big Mac. It's a microwave", is what my notification told me. Needless to say, I was very confused.

[@nutterts]

"Dit is geen Big Mac. Het is een magnetronburger" I can imagine your confusion, maybe buy a wider monitor? :P Je bent niet de enigste nederlandse Ashens fan. ;)

[@md_vandenberg]

@@nutterts When people say "notification" in this context, it's most likely a mobile app they're referencing.

[@tech6985]

@@nutterts er zijn er meer dan je denkt

[@nutterts]

@@tech6985 Hoe weet je hoeveel ik denk dat er zijn??? Ik wist het... 5G. ;)

[@TheHammerofDissidence]

*"Although every care is taken to remove all bones, some may remain."* Good God, that sentence shouldn't appear anywhere near a burger..

[@haha-lj5sq]

My god I thought it was a joke written on there by Stuart but Jesus Christ that’s actually horrifying

[@godzilla5599]

My advice is clean yer goddamn grinder after you make dog food and before you make the el cheapo human food people....

[@feralperil]

can I get uuhhhhhhhh 🅱️önêlèss 🅱️örgër

[@abidulbhuiyan2384]

Blatantly trying to not catch a lawsuit

[@kennethlasseter9264]

"an excellent observation"

[@Liquidfox2112]

I've just had an existential moment where I realized that I've been watching your videos for years and you haven't changed. Like a mountain defying the tides of time. I think it's the preservatives in the all the food you eat.

[@MartinGales]

5:49 now thats a satisfying pop sound

[@BarberJ95]

The last year and a half have been excruciatingly painful and I’ve experienced first hand some horrible losses and trauma but one thing that helps and makes sense is Stuart Ashens eating absolute filth for us. The world still makes sense and he’s helping me get through this. 💕

[@YoungBasedChefBeezy]

God bless ashes, subjecting himself to eating garbage for close to 20 years

[@user-st7rq3sn7v]

He eats "close to" garbage to stave off eating actual garbage......

[@CricketEngland]

Yes we all remember the Whole chicken in a can

[@A_Toastonawhiteplate]

With all the preservatives that are in the foods he eats he will get to 100 years

[@chloemorrison1150]

I do this on a regular basis and have no reasonable explanation for treating my body this way.

[@paulharries9558]

@@CricketEngland We were never to acknowledge the existence of that.... thing! 😬 😬 😬

[@Terri_MacKay]

In the time it takes to disassemble, cook, and reassemble this monstrosity, you could make a good quality frozen burger on a toasted brioche or pretzel bun.

[@Theotherevil21]

I read good burger as gmod burger and was confused for a second.

[@Terri_MacKay]

@Lassi Kinnunen 81 I meant uncooked frozen patties, not something microwavable. Where I live in Canada, we can get really good quality frozen burgers at reasonable prices. I think we can all agree that the less said about canned burgers the better. 🤢

[@Terri_MacKay]

@@Theotherevil21 😂😂

[@Terri_MacKay]

@Bare Knuckle We do make them from scratch as well. But if I can get a good deal on a pack of good quality frozen burgers, I'm going to take it.

[@Terri_MacKay]

@Lassi Kinnunen 81 I know that the point of microwavable meals is their convenience and short cooking time. And I used my mw all the time, for reheating and making frozen meals, until it broke about 6 months ago. I haven't replaced it, and I haven't missed it. I'm cooking more meals from scratch, and leftovers reheated in the toaster oven taste way better than when I warmed them up in the mw. I didn't know that frozen McD's burgers were even a thing!! I'd be very interested in trying them. I used to buy Big Mac sauce for my burgers, but it's not sold in Canada anymore.

[@Arthurzeiro]

Snacksters sounds like the name of a really shady brothel located abroad where there's a lot of sex tourism.

[@thegoromajima]

Specifically a shady brothel that was trying to be trendy in the 90’s. Gotta attract some totally radical clientele!

[@ItsDSP]

And where exactly would this hypothetical brothel be located?

[@Bilyb5579]

@@ItsDSP Amsterdam

[@kronniikk1957]

@@Bilyb5579 interesting

[@karvast5726]

@@ItsDSP vietnam ? Thailand ?

[@Cheesecake_lover360]

8:18 I was expecting the "ahm" sound he usually makes when he bites into a foodstuff. I was kind of disappointed when there was none.

[@jjayldn777]

The sound of the buns seperating at 5:49 was very satisfying

[@chrisbeaumont4630]

Wow I must have replayed that 100 times. I feel at peace.

[@v-ia]

u ruined the video for me. i cant finish it cause i keep repeating this scene. what a masterpiece

[@v-ia]

"the bun"

[@v-ia]

*pop*

[@Vladimir_Kv]

There are three types of bread after a microwave treatment: chewy rubber, hard as rock, soggy mess.

[@bethanyoneal5789]

There’s really no way you can microwave bread without ruining it

[@pilcrow182]

Oddly enough, though, soft *pretzels* don't have this drawback -- they're naturally supposed to be sort of a 'chewy rubber' texture, and a microwave doesn't ruin them one bit. Which begs the question: why aren't there more microwavable *pretzel burgers* on the market?

[@Arkantos117]

That's why you put the buns in the toaster separately.

[@penfold7800]

That's why some clever person invented toasters that act as mini grilling machines

[@leelambert8721]

always seperate all parts of the burger and mircowave at the same time but not together

[@grfrjiglstan]

Two partially-beef patties, regular sauce, lettuce (not included), "cheese", bones, cartilage on a sesame seed bun.

[@niccerkadoabuckado8256]

You wish there was some cartilage in there

[@joetrp-3553]

@@niccerkadoabuckado8256 I like my burger with a chew

[@joetrp-3553]

It's still quite hot, been out of microwave for several minutes after been NUKED

[@chaos.corner]

onna stick!

[@j0hnf_uk]

'Meat flavoured burger.' They probably waved a picture of a cow/chicken over the top of it. That's about as close to the actual things it got. I suppose if I were hungry enough I might eat it.

[@hughjass2745]

It's basically whatever they catch around the factory floor...

[@misterprecocious2491]

The packaging would probably make a better meal.

[@Aether_GM]

It's wild that humans normalized being able to sell people unhealthy rubbish.

[@shaunsmith1825]

I used to wonder how they made beef flavour crisps. I came to the conclusion they rubbed the (unpeeled) potatos against a cow.

[@markobighead3173]

@@Aether_GM Yes, catering to the desires for people to want cheap, salty, fatty, calorically dense food is indeed "wild".

[@RFC-3514]

1:17 - Refreezing things after defrosting doesn't magically make them poisonous. The main problem is that it ruins the _texture_ of some foods (due to the formation of ice crystals, thermal expansion and contraction, etc.). Also, any bacteria that land on the food when you defrost it the first time will stay there (some dead, some dormant, ready to resume multiplication), which can be an issue if the food isn't going to be cooked after thawing.

[@j2simpso]

I remember having those microwavable burgers whilst studying in the UK. Now that's a source of renewable energy if you get my drift! 😅

[@Forcefield23]

"Oh god Stuart there's a bun inside!" "Oh you are absolutely shitting me!"

[@HeyPachuc0]

Classic!

[@jamesmarston8461]

"There's a whole fucking bun? That's it, channel's over. Can't top that"

[@ratboy850]

Gagging sounds intensify.

[@alexv3375]

"Channel's yours now, Dan. Do with it as you will!"

[@DexDexD3x]

lmao I love how the warning instructions mentions it may contain pieces of bone

[@mooniejohnson]

Exactly. Pro-tip, kids: if it warns you of bones it ain't ground beef.

[@hicknopunk]

All good meat is 80% bone

[@karvast5726]

Yeahhhhh... Meat grinder go brrr

[@greenhowie]

"From which animal?" "Uhh... bone"

[@Zulf85]

Read as: "Warning: this is processed to hell and back"

[@FieroFats]

As a teenager I worked at McDonald's. (This was 30 some years ago) The burgers back then were all put into the microwave, bun and all for a few seconds before being put into the bag. There was even the burger button for it on their commercial microwave.

[@stevechandler4607]

bk do the same

[@jesuschristonabike8878]

If anyone’s wondering, am teenager that currently works at McDonalds now. There’s no microwave involved in the process now, the buns are separated and toasted immediately before the burger is assembled, and the meat is kept in trays in a heated shelf/oven-type thing, so no microwave now

[@bitterlemonboy]

@@jesuschristonabike8878 How much money do you earn? $ per hour and what country?

[@AlanMartinez-ev8vl]

@@bitterlemonboy in america its 17.50$ for mcds workers

[@VulgarBeyondSteel]

​@@AlanMartinez-ev8vlwhere tf are you making that

[@NoNonsenseSpider]

God damn man, 11 years later and he still uses the same intro. Absolute respect

[@kingofthecrows8802]

Many things have changed since I've started watching Ashens back in 2013 but one thing that has stayed the same is that couch. Thank God for that.

[@steelvenom330]

"Mom, can we stop for a Big Mac?' Mom: "We have Big Macs at home." Big Mac at home:

[@roddevereaux1830]

Eddy Murphy sad child face 😫

[@kizmetmars]

Big Mac at home: *tentacle smile

[@girlsdrinkfeck]

i just buy 2 rustlers and make a big mac out of them and its only £2

[@TastyChubz]

@PestoMayo is that a meme joke? I've never seen that in the comments.

[@SgtPotShot]

@@girlsdrinkfeck I've never had a Rustlers, but that probably a better use of 2 pounds than this.......thing.

[@Alex-fv2qs]

Those cheeky bastards, thats clearly a Double Stackser Pounder with Cheese

[@RockDad69]

That popping sound was so satisfying at 5:50

[@tomokokuroki2506]

yes

[@Flobbie]

So satisfying I had to replay it a few times

[@MystLs]

It literally syncs like it actually made that noise. Super satisfying

[@himiranda123]

@@MystLs i thought it actually made that noise lmaoo

[@mikeyfox2299]

I am always amazed at how well frozen microwave "White Castle" slider/burgers are in the microwave. When one lives a long way from the nearest White Castle, it's a really nice way to fill that craving, and not much different in price.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

the closest one is over 3700 miles from here, so shipping the frozen ones is pretty much the only option

[@Jake-bg4un]

You are the one constant on this site and in this world Ashens, thank you.

[@nicks4802]

“Chef Mike” laughs menacingly with each compliment given by Stuart

[@robertschnobert9090]

Who is Chef Mike? 🌈

[@abbafan50986]

@@robertschnobert9090 search Chef Mike Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares

[@RECTANGLESWITHEYES]

That would be the case if he wasn't thrown off the window. :D

[@mahow]

"So you could eat it 20 years after the..." Well we'll see if the flavour is improved in 20 years.

[@SgtPotShot]

Well, it has nowhere to go but up....

[@lwaves]

@@SgtPotShot And it'll still taste better than a Big Muck from MuckyD's.

[@MathewHaswell]

By then, Steve1989MREInfo might be tempted to eat it.

[@mahow]

@@MathewHaswell Nowhere near old enough for him.

[@qwertykeyboard5901]

"Home microwave market" That has GOT to be a play on the phrase "Home Video Market". It HAS to be!

[@arposkraft3616]

@2:30 for 2 reasons; 1) chicken is cheaper then beef...2) to avoid lawsuits.... this is not a big mac replica...big macs dont have chicken in them

[@idna832]

Very fitting that this vid was posted on the day all McDonald's workers are picketing

[@ThoroughlyBaked]

lol they can't get my order right most of the time and then think they deserve $15 an hour?

[@jamesg6660]

@@ThoroughlyBaked Who the hell are "they"? Your experiences with a crappy employee doesn't reflect an entire chain.

[@idna832]

@@ThoroughlyBaked so pressed that a few people got your order wrong that you think an entire workforce doesnt deserve a living wage. Thats pretty cringe

[@Chef_Alpo]

@@idna832 I worked in fast food for more than a decade, there is nothing that a bottom tier McDonald's employee does that merits $15 an hour, plain and simple. $15 an hour isn't even a livable wage anyway and it's a flawed 2nd hand talking point to claim it as such, but that's besides the point that most people at the entry level position are not trying to support themselves financially. I am no capitalist rightwinger either, I am realistic.

[@markobighead3173]

@@idna832 What's actually cringe is not realising that a full time, minimum wage job is enough for any single, individual person living alone to support themselves if they actually live within their means. If you want more, do more. If you do the bare minimum, expect the bare minimum.

[@AztecCroc]

1:12 Someone buy one of these and send it Ashens in 2042.

[@mikeblatzheim2797]

4:55 And should you not find any bones, do not hesitate to remove your own, for Slepp the Idol must always be appeased

[@TCOphox]

I just got back to this channel after nearly a decade. I genuinely feel like I've torn through space and time

[@yak5223]

"piping hot" *is* a really weird phrase, now that you mention it.

[@theyamo7219]

This expression was used as early as late medieval times, referring to the steam that shot out of a spouted tea kettle, a device in use at least since ancient Mesopotamia. In other words, “piping hot” means “boiling hot.”

[@Sarah-mm5ky]

This is irrelevant, but “Piping Hot” is also the name of an Australian clothing and swimwear company

[@BrendanBlake42]

Slepp the Idol yet lives! Remember, children, to give him your bones.

[@ssj3gohan456]

usable human bones

[@gld4166]

Two partially-beef patties, regular sauce, lettuce (not included), "cheese", bones, cartilage on a sesame seed bun.

[@MysticJhn]

Ashens took a second bite? That's a culinary miracle!

[@QwrtyMan]

big stack from macdougal's. my favorite!

[@CarbonatedTurtle]

2:25 WTF does this even mean. It says "Cooked burgers 50%" and then "49% beef." So 50% of the burgers are made up of only 49% beef? I expect a frozen beef burger to be full of filler, but I don't expect it to only contain about 25% beef.

[@ariaakee]

3:54 huh so some products have allergens in bold print. Never seen one printed like that where I live. I'm not really allergic to anything, it's just nice to see.

[@Over_Toasted]

The reason why it isn't just beef: most of the patties consisted of labia, intestines, beak, and liver

[@tim4330]

That's still good meat

[@Foxtrot369]

Cows don't have beaks...

[@DeSaxofoonVanPeter]

@@Foxtrot369 "seasoned beef and chicken patties"

[@spooky6703]

lenny face

[@Foxtrot369]

@@DeSaxofoonVanPeter I'm aware of that 🙄 My comment was specifically to *Over Toasted* because they said _"The reason why it isn't just beef: most of the patties consisted of labia, intestines, beak, and liver"_ Which doesn't explain why there would be beaks in the patty if it were just beef...

[@RyleeStrange]

4:07 i got super distracted by ashens spitting on the box, and then watching the bubbles pop.

[@comradeleah6924]

yep

[@thekingoffailure9967]

I have never needed an ashens distraction more in my life

[@frostreaper1607]

I’ve never put one in a microwave, but I occasionally make a Rusler burger in the air fryer, that thing is great ,add some veggies and its a proper burger.

[@justcallmeavi3255]

Have the feeling that the "snacksters" company is not around long enough for someone to sue them, I imagine that by the time the lawyers walk up to the factory the whole place just disappears, as if it was never there....

[@blackbeardgamer5909]

Might be alright if you are hammered drunk at 3 am

[@GlazeonthewickeR]

Guaranteed it would hit the spot, at least it would for my rock-bottom standards when I’m drunk

[@user-st7rq3sn7v]

You're likely already drunk when you bought the burger! Just go to Wendy's! There's less work involved!

[@samsonic44844]

If i smoke imma eat 2 no hesitation

[@PelinalDidNothingWrong]

@@user-st7rq3sn7v Not in the UK.

[@UberNeuman]

"You really can't enjoy a burger unless there are some bones in it." - Jeffrey Dahmer

[@ASpooneyBard]

"And it's definitely not complete without the 'special sauce.' I'll let you decide what I mean by that." -Also Jeffery Dahmer

[@pblm6772]

Stuart reviews a microwave big mac at 3 in the morning. What are you doing?

[@athenathegreatandpowerful6365]

Watching him review it of course.

[@tommylambert]

Having a poo.

[@gustavrider5561]

That popping sound when ashens separated the buns 😬. Yeah that is not a healthy sound bread should be making, innit?

[@satan3959]

burger queef

[@foxyfoxington2651]

That's the longest list of instructions I've ever seen for a microwave burger.

[@whywhy6055]

It’s nice to know that McDougall’s is branching out of the flour business and into the burger industry.

[@TheHutchy01]

"You could eat it 20 years later" We'll be back in 2041 to see this again.

[@canadianragin]

This is not a Microwave Burger. It's a crime against humanity.

[@TalesofthePlayer]

3:30 in the morning and I cant help but come to see more of Ashens exciting videos of gross foodage xD

[@k.y.6148]

You can microwave burger buns if you put a paper towel on the plate first. If you fold it a couple of times, it works even better.

[@davoid96]

Oh boy another food special! I bet this one will be magically delicious.

[@dubuyajay9964]

How was it?

[@WindowsXPFrog]

I literally bought this earlier today and thought of you 😅 It’s everything I expected it would be. I duped myself really.

[@Mr_Daddums]

Serving suggestion: Don't.

[@draw4kicks]

I respect the fact you know your audience well enough to immediately delay the planned video so you could get this one out asap!

[@No-vq1iv]

I've noticed that British people have a very high opinion of Big Macs, McDonalds in general. I've tried them in both the UK and Romania, the one in UK tasted of nothing but salt (as did KFC and pretty much every other fast food burger I've tried) and the one in Romania tasted of slightly less salty salt with a hint of meat, almost like it had some resemblance of flavor.

[@tweezerjam]

Ya gotta give em credit for not expecting you to throw a whole frozen burger in the microwave all at once. 👍🏼

[@MrDannyDetail]

@@smpmuzpid The only differences between the two sets were that the first set said toast the bun and later microwave the assembled burger for 1 minute, whilst the second set did not mention toasting the bun, so said to microwave the assembled burger for 1 minute 30 seconds instead. Neither set of instructions said to throw the whole assemble frozen burger in the microwave all at once, so tweezer is correct.

[@RFC-3514]

On the contrary, they _expect_ you to do just that. That way, if you complain, they can just say you didn't follow all the instructions.