Various Quicksters Microwave Burgers | Ashens

[@Ultracity6060]

I think he misunderstood the instructions. "Microwave only" meant you're just supposed to microwave it. Not eat it.

[@JamesSmith-vk2ky]

Ultracity6060 👍👍😂😂😂

[@directorjustin]

Lol

[@thediamonddimanian6716]

*On the very bottom corner of the package in writing you could only see using a microscope* "Not safe for consumption by anyone other than Ashens"

[@TylerScottMillaway]

You sir are brilliant.

[@crocsmemes_]

-_- (with determination i approve of that)👍

[@CurryFeatures]

"Bollocks. That's annoying." The most British reaction to anything ever. It could be ketchup falling out of your burger or getting held hostage by a knife wielding maniac. So versatile!

[@tahirsutube]

LP13 CurryFace Absolutely!!!

[@Omnishredder]

Bollocks, that's annoying, this guy's said what I was thinking of saying

[@christaylor9855]

Am British, can confirm. :D

[@EdwardianTea]

LP13 CurryFace i'm British and you are absolutely right!!!

[@Phoebe5448]

Also a British person, can confirm!

[@wolfieinu]

It's odd. Ashens eats trash (sometimes expired), chews and smacks his lips audibly, describes how utterly horrendous what he's eating is, and I get hungry watching the video.

[@kyle18934]

Buy it and eat along with him lol

[@kyle18934]

Then you can toss it back up together

[@melikecomedy]

@Josh Cuthbert theyre awful and only lazy people buy them how hard is it to cook a burger

[@silverschannel8578]

I now almost exclusively watch his food specials while eating. Sometime im glad to be eating what i have, other times i wish i have the shit he eats (microwave kebab comes to mind)

[@ArtseyGurl]

@@melikecomedy you're so upset over a fuckin burger lol

[@ronanwood6891]

I bet your sofa gives off more radiation than Chernobyl

[@TheLastSpartan111]

@Dany1054 whoosh

[@Jacky-yg4rj]

Dany1054 r/whoosh

[@benjamintaylor3878]

Dany1054 actually everything emits radiation of some sorts

[@AlexFlockhart]

@@benjamintaylor3878 Everything emits radiation, and supposedly complete nothingness tends to as well.

[@MrSnake-dh3hu]

+7 Rads/sec

[@dingdongbells3314]

I've never been so repulsed and so hungry as I was while watching this British gentleman eat the contents of my fridge

[@paulp1772]

mate dont put bread in the freezer, that shit aint good

[@TheToyBoy1978]

Paul MaximumC00L09 What are you on about? Bread is perfectly fine to freeze, you can even thaw it out and refreeze!

[@BlazeChronicGreen420]

Paul MaximumC00L09 freezing bread is fine.

[@fishum6483]

Paul MaximumC00L09 You should be ashamed.

[@starrekt2328]

Paul MaximumC00L09 Wtf

[@MrJustinLuka]

"Warning: Altough every effort has been made to remove bones, some small bones may remain." That sounds promising.

[@naxzed_it]

Oh no

[@Aaron-hh5tf]

Fragments of crushed rat skulls

[@SofiaFox]

@@Aaron-hh5tf *no*

[@Aaron-hh5tf]

@TigerMan1995 how do you know?? Ever had a hot dog from the vender at the corner of Tottenham Court Road? No?? It’s Rat meat

[@zenus0170]

SilverFoxUchiha I’ll have you know that’s top of the line rat meat!

[@4Wilko]

"It is edible." They should put that on the package.

[@mattwilcks5156]

4Wilko 😂😂😂

[@christopherrobin7984]

Seriously if it said "It is Edible - Ashens" on the package, I'd buy 10 just for them being awesome.

[@childeater7327]

4Wilko according to Willie wanka everything is edible even the people

[@fatyowls]

Bet they dare not put that on as they would be liable..

[@wolfyboy]

It's technically food, and SHOULD be fit for human consumption! XD

[@RenegadeStreetBadd]

You've won! They now advise that you put the bun in the toaster

[@notnice-9623]

oh crap

[@De19thKingJulion]

Yaay!

[@SimonKelk]

and it makes a world of difference. Still not great but very handy if you have no time.

[@docthebiker]

Shame. The soggy bun is major part of the whole anus and eyelid consumption experience.

[@brandonlatzig]

@patrick howard true, but these products have a small..place, like just taking them with you to work or just as a snack

[@Wobblybob2004]

Quicksters new tag-line... "Very slightly better than you were expecting"

[@PanAndScanBuddy]

Wobblybob2004 Better than the old one "What did you expect for £1?"

[@MrJ0mmy]

XD

[@AgentTasmania]

If it's a quid, 85% meat is quite surprisingly high. Though oddly the chicken one doesn't give a percentage for chicken.

[@jim191185]

'Almost satisfactory'

[@wesleyrennie1315]

“A bit like food, but not so much”

[@GodotOfficial]

Ashens should use his KZbin money to buy Poundworld and turn it into Ashensworld

[@RAFMnBgaming]

Godot And then put Eli in charge. Think of all the Modular crap we could buy.

[@webchimp]

Put BigClive in charge of the electrical gubbins.

[@DystopianOverture]

Force Eli and Gannon back together to run the company, how hard can it be? lol

[@MusicalSeizureGuy]

Might have to legally be called YouPoundAshens... but I would still go there ;)

[@_Piers_]

Yeah, it's got to be worth a good nine or ten quid now.....He can probably stretch to that :)

[@Gooong]

Spongy mystery meat with barbecue sauce is one of the most satisfying food you can eat. The only problem is that it has an aftertaste that sort of feels like self-loathing.

[@CarsonG1017]

Not gonna lie I kinda want to try the self-loating meat

[@austinm.9832]

You just explained the Mcrib

[@M-1996A1]

I buy the Banquet barbecue “rib patties” and a pack of sub buns and add pickles, then cry myself to sleep in the broom closet. 7/10

[@skramzgod]

M1996A1 me too

@@M-1996A1 it is oddly the preferred meat sandwich of lonely bachelors and others that have long since buried self respect under self indulgence. 🤔

[@frankgogley1749]

The grill stripes are air brushed on lol

[@youreshouldoflearntgrammer8277]

Bachie! Why????

[@dammitcarl1082]

BachieGaga 9 my god

[@samconduct1356]

@@youreshouldoflearntgrammer8277 To convince you that it will be tasty.

[@MelissaAndersonTheFutureLegend]

Noooooo childhood ruined.

[@No_True_Scotsman]

Just like Costa toasties

[@rdeez5974]

You know he went back and finished that McRib, trying to act like he won’t. Lmao

[@magoon993]

Rdeez I want McDonald's mcrib back.

[@Quast]

When you want to get the feeling of superiority of eating things that not even cats would touch xD

[@CosmicGaijin]

I wouldn't blame him. I have not yet encountered a mortal who can resist the barbecue slathered goodness known as the McRib. It is unheard of.

[@brianm6337]

I have to. Pork products wreck my digestive system.

[@MaxwellTornado]

My father bought a McRib once, and I had a bite. It tasted like plastic disappointment.

[@ChampionOrBust]

1:46 yes you call it microwaved hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled

[@robertocioffi2523]

It's a regional dialect.

[@MrSnake-dh3hu]

Uh, you know...I, uh...one thing I should... excuse me for one second.

[@killert41]

No they're not. Simply run over really hot metal its not grilled

[@MrJ-ro1yr]

Youre an odd fellow but you steam a good ham

[@Splashus_Klay]

Auroraborealis

[@827Drew]

As someone who lived in America for a while, I'd never recommend any of those products, lol. They're something you mainly find at gas station convenience stores. They're for truckers driving across the country. The truckers don't even really like them either, but well, easy fast food while you fill up your tank. A lot of them have microwaves in their trucks. Some even have ovens in their trucks. It's very impressive actually.

[@827Drew]

@patrick howard I agree. Coffee starts tasting like ambrosia. :D

[@tijmen131]

this is general cheap supermarket stuff in western-Europe

[@robjo9265]

I used to eat these, when I was working for a disabled person and had to stay over night. I didn't want to use the kitchen and the disabled person basically never ate anything, so I had to get something.

[@GumSkyloard]

"They're for truckers driving across the country." Or for poor people. :(

[@GumSkyloard]

@@tijmen131 Western European here. Can confirm.

[@Blue_Sonnet]

These are a cheap guilty pleasure of mine, but there are a few techniques that definitely help! 1: Toast or grill the burger, or microwave then toast/grill if you're in a hurry. Or too drunk to play with fire for more then a minute or two. 2: Add extra cheese, usually by putting the cheap "cheese" slice between the bottom half of the bun and the burger, then sprinkle grated mozzarella & cheddar between the top of the burger & the top part of the bun (supermarkets like Asda sell this mix in bags, mozzarella can be a little tasteless whilst cheddar isn't awesomely gooey, so this is the best of both worlds). 3: If you can't grill/toast the bun or are in a rush, nuke everything as normal then place the entire burger upside down on a piece of kitchen towel after microwaving it. This dries out the base & also keeps the burger warm enough for me to go up three flights of stairs to my bedroom. I also highly recommend wrapping the burger in 2-3 sheets & keeping the opposite half of the burger enclosed, as these things are a bugger for dripping lava-hot ketchup onto your leg without warning. 4: Alternatively, make the most awesome cheese on toast ever - toast one side of bread, drizzle a few drops of worcestershire sauce & a pinch of black pepper onto the untoasted side. Spread a tablespoon of the mozzarella/cheddar mix evenly & sparsely over the uncooked side, grilling then adding another thin layer of cheese mix as soon as the previous layer has browned a little. After maybe three layers you will have The Bestest Cheese on Toast I Have Ever Made. Variations can include a slice of ham between the bread & cheese, but since ham doesn't stick well to bread you might want to cut the ham into strips instead of one huge slice. Ooh, you can also make a lazy version of welsh rarebit this way, modifying the cheese mix to include an egg and one extra yolk. If you cook it really slowly you get what is essentially an omelette on toast, if you cook quickly as one thick layer then you get a sealed pocket of gooey-goodness that is frighteningly hot but tastes so good that you won't really care. BTW My brother loves adding paprika for some reason. He's weird, paprika goes on crisps, everyone knows that!

[@thecatpersonuk9962]

That ketchup lava is a real problem

[@johnjriggsarchery2457]

Wow, you took longer writing that than I would take eating a gas station burger.

[@victoriasmith2512]

Why to much info u could of cooked a meal time u wrote that lol x

[@sirhawke]

At this point you might as well just make a proper burger 😂

[@uhhlikeumm420]

@Blue_Sonnet Everyone knows that? lol I've never heard of anyone putting paprika on chips in my life lmfao

[@terribletanner805]

I'm unsure whom I pity more: The cow which was slaughtered to bring an almost inedible alien burger to your dinner table, or the poor sod who only has said alien burger to look forward to after work.

[@AbhishekTiwari-tt4ew]

Terrible Tanner the poor did because he knows that he could have better if his life had been different but the cow would have died anyway

[@asbestosfish_]

Terrible Tanner Mate, you know that these abominations against god and all we believe to be good in our world have never touched a fucking table in the history of their existence.

[@novaiscool1]

Wouldn't it be cheaper to go to McDonald's and get a burger that tastes "good" and doesn't have a soggy bun.

[@hannahridgeway7033]

Honestly I actually really like these, they're a nice snack to go to when you can't be arsed cooking, if you toast the bun they taste alright.

[@UlyssesCrab]

That poor old sod is my father-in-law. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re disgusting people...

[@BlazeHedgehog]

Those eyelids ain't gonna eat themselves. Somebody's gotta do it.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

BlazeHedgehog unless the eyelids are John Carpenter's The Thing. Which is entirely possible.

[@leecroft1983]

BlazeHedgehog Also not forgetting the gooch and animal (hopefully) arsehole. Tasty, hmm

[@MrWosull]

If there was a creature that had eyelids that could eat themselves I'd probably just commit suicide out of fear

[@GoodmanDontLai]

MrWosull no, but we are blessed with the spectacular Bony-eared Assfish

[@BroadwayRonMexico]

Eyelids? Nah, probably anuses

[@FV4030]

No shame here, this makes me hungry.

[@Clonekiller66]

Agreed

[@TheEmeraldIslander]

Same, these things are delicious in my opinion

[@stepanfedun9122]

Disgusting

[@changoelchango]

Actually I'd eat this idk what the fuzz is all about

[@THENAMEISQUICKMAN]

It makes me hungry for a burger, but a takeaway one. With maybe some lettuce and tomato and some mustard.

[@Moonknife]

I think he loves all the crappy food and just acts disgusted

[@dujilli]

69th like

[@beepy1483]

@@dujilli who cares which like you are

[@darinein]

@@dujilli nice

[@DynamicDurge]

@@dujilli nice.

[@sebastianlacroix5871]

@@dujilli the sex number

[@Terri_MacKay]

"It's very slightly better than I expected." "It's edible." What a ringing endorsement!! 😂

[@doctorsmiles2209]

Quickster's Microwave Burger -- It's edible!

[@LaurenceGill2000]

You've got to microwave the buns for these. The damp bun is part of the charm.

[@sfsaviation]

Laurence Gill that’s the thing about microwaving frozen bread products,nothing better than a soggy waffle!

[@MrSupercar55]

You do not put bread in the bloody microwave and that's the end of it!

[@roybatty4687]

It softens the bread up a bit I find

[@neonmangoz]

The warm, damp bun is oddly good for some reason

[@christophertudor4727]

Charm lol????? Then again, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer were also said to have oozed charm!

[@Larry]

They're a lot more tolerable if you toast the bun first.

[@SurpriseMoFooo]

Random question.. But were you the dude who used to be on TV like 10years ago! I remember watching you..

[@natgrant1364]

I have considered removing the buns from frozen sandwiches before but the ones I get are always frozen (or maybe glued) together. Then again, I'm not familiar with this brand.

[@syxepop]

Guru Larry, it seems Aldi's particular private brand (that's how they call them Stateside) premade hamburger has buns you could more or less separate, but I have seen quite a bit of brands over here in which the buns could almost be destroyed once you try to remove it from the "meat patty".

[@Clay3613]

AIR FRYER...cooks nearly everything.

[@CuriousFrog]

Clay3613 I've even cooked a cake in an airfryer lol

[@TheWeemaster]

These things remind me of walking home from a night of drinking and ending up at the local Esso petrol station at 4am pissed as a fart to make 'essential purchases'. With a bag of goodies, I'd finally crash through the front door and bust out the Rustler burger (the Yop, Ginsters and Smokey Bacon crisps were consumed on the walk and would never make it home). So whenever I smell one of these cooking, it takes me back to being a pissed up teenager. Once in a blue moon I'll eat one for a nostalgia trip but it soon becomes apparent that being very drunk is a good method of making these seem somewhat edible!

[@zomg51]

Bravo sir

[@Eyetrauma]

This comment is a journey.

[@theoschlossman1577]

Heartwarming af

[@DimT670]

You just described the customer base these are hopping to attract

[@MrSlendyMannn]

Tbh it’s the same with pizza. I can only really eat pizza nowadays after a few drinks.

[@SourGummiWyrm69]

We have those in America at gas stations, tip is to turn the burger upside-down. The top bun (not Top Gun, that's a movie) absorbs the moisture better than the bottom bun, leaving you with a slightly less soggy burger.

[@xo_fml_ox_3908]

You Slumber, Cucumber flip it half way bro

[@NineEyeRon]

This is known as a “life hack”

[@wuddup321]

Better idea. Don't eat it at all

[@matthoskin9297]

American wisdom at its finest

[@DaRealKing303]

Microwave the meat and toast the bun, problem solved. If you cant toast wrap it with paper towels and put a glass of water inside the microwave.

[@jadeyxboox]

“A squidgy, gelatinous mess.” My new tinder bio.

[@PiousMoltar]

*jellatayneeus

[@vanillasplash6198]

Males perfect sense

[@Skelemanjaro]

"A big lump of stodgy, spongey nothing." Could use that for Bumble?

[@abujasm2223]

@jadeyxboo And a gorgeous one if i may add :)

[@jadeyxboox]

Hyrum Wood busted 😢😢😢😢😢

[@mazzalnx]

9:40 that perfect "NOMF" is oddly relaxing and for no discernible reason gives me a small amount of hope that "the world is still alright."

[@atlasmoon5497]

mazzalnx people enjoying food sound? nomf

[@AniW2x4]

Honestly same.

[@oldskoolhoss7534]

Asmr eating

[@Mango_mahogany]

Normf

[@ADogNamedElmo]

Nomf

[@MultiDarkZen]

Its kinda amazing how these are the only kinds of food that stays exactly the same in terms of looks when cooked

[@senorcapitandiogenes2068]

We have yet to see Simon Pegg and Stuart Ashen in the same room. Until now we have little proof that Ashens is not Simon Pegg or his twin

[@sabin1981]

:D

[@futurekarlos5256]

I was thinking if we had Ashens, Simon Pegg and The Escapist's 'Zero Punctuation' in a room....the world would explode

[@charlottestevens9352]

Have u watched barshen

[@Zomfoo]

Captain Diomedes Simon is the one with lots of money... and who can’t write a Star Trek film for shit.

[@senorcapitandiogenes2068]

Charlotte Harlow Barshens is one of my favourite channels. Praise Slepp and give him your bones

[@wesleyrennie1315]

You just know he polishes off all these meals when the camera is not rolling!

[@JLG629]

Can you blame him?

[@isaacsussman5632]

I mean food waste aint great even when its bad food. Might as well...except maybe the mcmuffin. That looks like food poisoning on a bun

[@johngavin1175]

...and after polishing off the food,has to eventually "polish" his toilet

[@Mayyde]

AU where Stuart is completely putting up a front in every single food review video, and all of the food he eats in his reviews are actually just sitting in his kitchen and are a part of his regular diet.

[@froggled]

I do love a burger with a charming sweatiness about it

[@scotty_blocks]

'Well here it is, in all its incredibly sweaty glory', as the actress said to the Bishop.

[@JoeyJoJoJoestarJuniorShabadoo]

I remember when I was a kid I tried to make grilled cheese in the microwave. It turned out about as well as you can imagine.

[@pixiemoonglow9642]

Omg I used to do the same thing 🤣 I'd also make eggs in the microwave and turn those into microwaved sandwiches too lmao. It's wild the shit we thought was good as kids!

[@SandraudigaVali]

When I first started living on my own I once tried doing one in the oven and ended up with a brick. Good times

[@Slappap]

All of these are giving me American high school lunches flashbacks

[@Zephyrian1st]

oddly these burgers are a god sent on 12 hour shifts

[@aaronstorey9712]

Even cold. Its better than nothing

[@Tokmurok]

And people diss me for eating bacon. Smh.

[@Sabrintwitt3r]

"Godsend"

[@DimT670]

Foods food

[@johnjriggsarchery2457]

Yep

[@user-ns3vs3bp3e]

My uni housemates last year lived off this kind of stuff and takeaways... I’m not sure how they lived through a full semester without scurvy to be honest

[@Pinkscales]

or the shits

[@novaiscool1]

barmyguy900 they didn't say he avoided it.

[@sortedevaras]

Takeaways is a step up from this.

[@gray007nl]

Yeah what Miika said, Vitamins are added to virtually everything nowadays, from bread to tap water, so it's practically impossible to catch scurvy.

[@jzneter736]

Probably had some sort of fruit

[@SelthBlackwings]

I remember eating some of those in France 10 years ago until after opening a bun I noticed printings from a news paper on the meat.

[@patchsticks]

you should do a poundworld special and see what you can get from the closing down sales

[@patchsticks]

Ahti Jansson all the aisles were empty at the one in the galleries in washington but there were charging cables for 15p and 5 quid firelogs for 50p and even some shelves and one of the fridges were for sale. pretty sad indeed

[@charlottestevens9352]

Diceyy not all closed down and alot didn't go into the sale my one just has alot of old stock that was forgotten like Christmas stuff easter new year

[@ArchangelExile]

Poundland is going out of business? What will Stuart talk shit ahout now?! D:

[@Voello]

I got a 24 by 18 inch canvass for two quid. I don't even paint.

[@theyoutubeguy1]

Poundworld.... 2 pound..... 🤔

[@RealGermanish]

this is the kind of content I watch when it's 2 am and I crave food. I do not feel like eating anymore after watching this.

[@MentalMyles]

dammit ashens, now I'm having a hankering for microwave trash burgers for the weekend

[@Phoebe5448]

Ironically enough, I actually like Rustlers. Even though they're probably nothing but fat and salt and nefarious chemicals...

[@suzyrottencrotch5132]

Phoebe5448 he died

[@suzyrottencrotch5132]

Phoebe5448 have some respect

[@Phoebe5448]

@@suzyrottencrotch5132 I'm sorry what?

[@Phoebe5448]

@Gold Rose lol yh you can imagine what quicksters are made of if you think rustlers are pretty cheap rofl but yh I dont mind rustlers for a snack. Even though its probably mostly gristle and soy beans.

[@chinnyvision]

I sometimes visit various factories that make products. Quite often a company may make stuff for other people but to a different recipe/formulation (to reduce cost). Interestingly once went to a place that made wood treatment and paint removal (eg turps) products and they put the same stuff in different bottles. So the premium brand creosote was exactly the same as the own brand. Same with certain cleaning products. They may change the scent but the stuff itself can be the same. Thus ends my dull experiences of factories I have visited.

[@Bluemoon_19]

Yep agreed, we make boxes at work and often aldi and lidl boxes are set to name brand companies

[@raymondpjoyce]

very interesting to me at least i wonder how many things are the same or if brand names pay more ingredients because they charge more

[@MrStabby19812]

Worked in a pea factory they literally just alternated the labels between Birdseye and another company lol.

[@Collymillad]

So it's like Nurofen and supermarket own brand Ibuprofen? Except one is 50p and the other is £3.50

[@ZeusTheIrritable]

That's actually really interesting! I'd heard similar things about cleaning products and beer.

[@TheSegaSuperFan]

I feel like Steve and Ashens should do an ancient MRE together like this. They're the only two iron stomached dudes i can watch 😂

[@jamesthorley4442]

I second that, it would be a great pair up 😂 "Let's get this thing out onto a tray....um kay"

[@msia7201]

I want a Ashens/Steve1989/Gordon Ramsey mashup!

[@trabantfreak2370]

Nice hiss 😁.

[@teleiosdawyz4044]

Only if they share the ciggy from 1942 afterward 😁

[@FarhanaKhondaker]

I worked at Aldi and I used to get this during my lunch break. I would also stick the buns in the toaster and only microwave the meat with the cheese. Not gonna lie, for £1 I was pretty satisfied 😂

[@watermelon6227]

Im sitting in an aldi right now and i just bought them but we dont have toaster so it ended up in thrash🤢

[@undeadelite]

@@watermelon6227 a little too late now but you could've thrown the buns in a pan with/without butter and get them nice and warm that way

[@mobrien98]

You know it's high quality when it says "microwave only"

[@Go4Bro]

Michael O'Brien 😂

[@chefcc6784]

I don't even own a microwave

[@Go4Bro]

ChefCC no one cares

[@chefcc6784]

Damn. What A shame.

[@TheToyBoy1978]

Michael O'Brien It says that because its an all in 1 quick snack thing, if you take 5 mins to toast the bun and fry the burger along with some onions or cut some lettuce and chop some onion add some mayo and it tastes great!

[@ScreamingEagle101st]

Tip: After microwaving flip burger to cool underside.

[@cassiemolly7263]

Deadzio “you’re”

[@insertaverygenericnamehere]

No, it is his welcome! 🤯

[@ScreamingEagle101st]

insert generic name here Who gives a

[@ClickHere]

Doesn't work. Bye

[@arch_6133]

I'd rather go hungry for the day thanks.

[@romulusnuma116]

It hurt so much to see the ketchup on the sofa

[@RematodeRanger]

Battle scars.

[@AlisonBryen]

Romulus Numa Yes...at that point everything went into slow motion and I shouted NOOOOOOOO! 😨

[@Caledon91]

The Sofa's gone through worse.

[@michaelz7683]

Oh *BOLLOKS*

[@LWolf12]

*Plays "In the Arms of an Angel" while adding a gray filter over the ketchup falling onto the sofa*

[@TTKMKaizen]

10:25 Normal: "Not good" Intellectuals: "Goodn't" Ashens: "Not good. Very not good. In fact, very plus un-good."

[@alexrawson8492]

Ashens is British Trump

[@TTKMKaizen]

Well no, but actually no.

[@CathrineMacNiel]

1984

[@pajamapantsjack5874]

With the uncanny ability to cook really...quick

[@MrCheesyBaconBits]

GET OFF ME! I GOT TO TELL THEM I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE!

[@atlasrules87]

YOU AGAIN!?

[@nyctea-5218]

Pajamapants Jack CAN YOU NOT BE EVERYWHERE Nah just joking, though it seems we have the same taste in ‘Tubers.

[@elliesbrains]

You wanna see me cook that burger? You wanna see me do it again?

[@GringatTheRepugnant]

If the real Quickster saw this travesty of patty production, he'd turn in his grave.

[@ellisscott9840]

My girlfriend literally taught me to put the buns in the toaster. Changed my life.

[@naddydatty]

Your admission regarding the barbecue "rib-style" sandwich is the exact reason why we in the west pride the McRib. It's garbage but we love it. I love it. You probably love it. It's garbage and we love it. That's okay. We can be trash.

[@mattey456]

Acie O'Kelley I was so excited when the McRib came to the uk but it was an utter disappointment I’m afraid to tell you

[@mattey456]

Deenie Beenie nah it was just rubbish boring and then plain

[@MegaRazor619]

I remember biting into one and almost throwing up

[@carpediem4887]

Love a McRib with mayo.....yummmm.

[@himiranda123]

the mcrib was delicious from what i can remember

[@SirLolcat]

No joke: the BBQ rib tastes exactly like a McRib in Germany. I was so confused when I moved to the UK and tried one of these.

[@men5crumm]

They do the mcrib in germany? Should've got one when i went

[@artavenuebln]

@@men5crumm yes. 365 days a year.

[@evilhamsterzz]

Incredible, I was just looking for a video to watch at 1am before I have to get up at 5am

[@JarlGrimmToys]

Those microwave burgers are ok, I eat them occasionally. I also drink poison occasionally by which I mean alcohol. The former is a great meal after the latter. Easy to make and greasy. I used to make a full fry up after getting home from the pub. Drunkenly sticking bacon and eggs in oil over fire. It’s pretty dangerous.

[@TheBokkelul]

fire brigade sponsored by Quickster(tm) microwave burgers. gg rip.

[@papayer]

spoken just as I imagined someone who would willingly eat this stuff would speak

[@klontjespap]

haha lovely i used to come home drunk and make fish sticks or fried eggs too.

[@jemmyxx3107]

Yeah, please stick to rustlers 😂😂😂

[@audixas1]

I had two of these recently. Didn't think they were too bad.

[@theshankman8682]

i think i ate the same brand as you as we are not too far from each other. to be honest they are a bit jelly but still meaty as you would expect a burg to be. and they actually put real cheese on it!

[@oofpacito9559]

Audixas did you have the soggy bun problem lul

[@audixas1]

I did, in fact. Following the instructions, you need to let the buns cool for like 2 minutes if you don't want burns on your hand.

[@BiddlyBongDebo]

Maybe you're not as pretentious and can appreciate something for what it is. We all know it's junk food, bad for us etc but it sure fills a hole when time is short, and most importantly with food, it tastes pleasant. I'd have killed for one of these in my ration packs doing exercises in the army, instead we got nutritionally balanced stuff concocted by government scientists - some that tasted like warmed up sick and looked like it too and made everyone very depressed and deflated when we knew what was in store that next day.

[@c.james1]

"Feasters" are the worst ones. Rustler products are not too bad, especially if you toast the buns separately. A Rustler burger with toasted bun with some added (of your own) mature cheddar cheese is actually quite delicious.

[@Optimalillusion]

Not ashamed to say that I like microwave sandwiches like these. The real trick is remembering that fine print about how the recommended time might vary on basis of make, model, wattage, religion, favorite music genre, and mood of your machine.

[@FirestormDDash]

Ashens: I can eat 50 year old food. You can't beat me! Community: But we have a microwave breakfast sandwhich. Ashens: *MY ONLY WEAKNESS*

[@rdeez5974]

Lmao at that sound you always make for the first bite...”eeerrrrraaarrrawww”!!!

[@bloodcontagion]

Rdeez I know lmfao that shit is annoying.

[@TommyTom21]

Rdeez "Erawm"

[@wiibrockster]

I actually enjoy Quicksters and Rustlers. It's something I enjoy every now and again when I can't bothered to cook.

[@TITCHY]

Tarlo The Boar same even though you know there is bad stuff in them xD

[@FazanaJ]

bit of plastic and arse cheek never hurt anybody :)

[@sneer0101]

I bet one of your family members has been on Jeremy Kyle then.

[@RoobehTunes]

sneer0101 username on point!

[@bucwhovian8305]

Tarlo The Boar who doesn’t?

[@Mulder-Scully]

Your couch has seen better days my friend, i love watching the progression of it's despair over the course of your videos

[@MelissaAndersonTheFutureLegend]

At least it's better than the Burger in a Can.

[@blknightsixtyfo]

C. M. Anderson whoa. Wait what?

[@Geno2733]

If I Had a nickle Burger in a can. Ashens did those a while back.

[@blknightsixtyfo]

Geno2733 burger in a can sound no bueno.

[@averylividmoose3599]

C. M. Anderson idk man, if you've actually had a quickster then I think you can agree with me that the burger in a can is more appetising

[@Centoriun]

I bet the burger in a can is better than the "Whole Chicken In A Can"

[@wernt0]

I don't care what people say, I enjoy those microwave burgers.

[@xxdazziexx]

wernt0 The rib ones are to die for

[@Chaos89P]

wernt0 Which brand? I'm partial to White Castle myself.

[@wernt0]

Chaoes89p The Quicksters ones.

[@swanningabout]

xXDazzieXx No

[@fedorafluke]

Rustlers Quarter Pound with Bacon and Cheese

[@MichaelMacGyver]

"food" like this reminds me of the kind of stuff you see in SciFi dystopias. "All New Bachelor Chow! Now available in burger form!!!"

[@brianm2881]

In fairness, this type of food (microwavable, and of questionable quality) has existed since the 50s in the form of TV dinners.

[@samrobacker346]

It makes it own gravity

[@johnathonbeaumont8643]

sam robacker Doesn't everything?

[@blknightsixtyfo]

Futurama reference, my heart smiles.

[@voivod6871]

If I Had a nickle Yes i got the Futurama reference as well made my day, what the fucks wrong with me?

[@TheRealD4]

Imagine going around to your new girlfriends house after being invited for dinner, and she serves you this.

[@Joseph-cm9og]

I'd be quite impressed if a thirteen year old could do that

[@AwesomeMooseSmile]

@@Joseph-cm9og uhhh

[@tokumusic4078]

@KZbin on a Budget FBI, open up!

[@clivelambert-oe7kg]

microwave the bun for to long it goes rock solid

[@SeekerLancer]

Yeah, microwaves heat up water molecules the fastest so putting bread in a microwave is never a good idea.

[@chongusdongus8693]

Christopher Blair that’s why if you microwave a sandwich or something with bread you put a mug of water in with it to retain the moisture

[@Fsoricko]

Too*

[@suzyrottencrotch5132]

I usually set the microwave on two hours

[@suzyrottencrotch5132]

James 'sphinx' Richardson two

[@ashleydavies6566]

It’s been 5 years since I watched an Ashens and you’ve still got the same crappy intro. It’s good to be back! 👍🏻

[@Zomfoo]

Ashley Davies His intros are perfect. PERFECT I SAY!!!

[@brandon3872]

Ashley Davies Nothing ever changes, not even the sofa, just what he's reviewing. I think that's part of his success 😊

[@varietywiarrior]

I call microwave burgers "depression burgers".

[@Boomrainbownuke9608]

i guess spongbob got his own burger business

[@Thebossstage1]

Finally a burger for me!

[@64jimboy]

The corner never comes off the packaging, it's almost like they give you another chance just to throw it away.

[@fluffylovey]

I had a rather embarrassing number of these during my final year at uni during my rotations, they’re actually so nice for a hot cheap burger at 4am when you’re knackered and starving 😂

[@joseferreira5846]

fluffylovey yeah and now you're a furry seems like a downward spiral of bad decisions

[@fluffylovey]

José Ferreira drawing digital art of animals =\= furry. Fur suits are creepy as fuck

[@GmodPlusWoW]

And probably pretty good when you're drunk. The sort of thing you heat up when you've come home after a night on the piss, and you're simply too knackered to accidentally blow your house up while making bacon and eggs.

[@lhaviland8602]

*Burger in a can flashbacks intensify*

[@KawaiiVictini1]

It pained my soul to see all that ketchup drip onto that glorious couch

[@RondoOfBloodX]

Never in my life have I EVER seen a Breakfast Muffin that has ketchup on it.

[@bigloudnoise]

Here in the US, they wouldn't be allowed to show the lettuce, onions and the other vegetables seen in the photos on these packages unless the sandwich in the box actually came with those ingredients. Considering the UK seems to have stricter ingredients listing laws than the US (i.e. literally listing the percentage of the final product each ingredient makes up), it surprises me that they would let something questionable like that slip by.

[@ChristopherSobieniak]

That is interesting.

[@YamiHoOu]

They cheat by saying "serving suggestion" in fine print. It's the same thing in New Zealand.

[@bigloudnoise]

Yeah, a lot of the products like this here in the US also say "Serving Suggestion" on them in fine print, but the product photos on the packaging still typically don't show ingredients not actually included with the product. Must be a loophole in food labeling/advertising laws that the US managed to close, I'd guess.

[@edbadyt]

They're allowed here as long as it says "serving sugestion". I noticed it written here so the text wasn't even that small. People don't expect that stuff to be in the product and the words "serving suggestion" are just part of the culture.

[@jesuswasasausage9262]

Congratulations

[@HeyItsAJOmega]

I'd love for someone to actually cook and prepare these per the serving suggestions. Like, genuinely garnish it with lettuce and stuff.

[@GmodPlusWoW]

To be fair, I used to do something similar with Rustlers once upon a time. I used to add red onion to the little BBQ Rib ones, and sometimes added sliced cheddar to the cheeseburger ones. Definitely improved them, though I imagine that's not hard to do since they're so damn cheap. Thing is, the Rustler's "signature" cheeseburgers had a pickley sauce that I liked the taste of. While the burgers themselves can't hold a candle to the real deal, even when you "upcycle" them by toasting the bun and adding a few extras, I feel like Rustler's signature sauce would genuinely be worth adding to a proper burger. Hell, I don't know if they sell their signature sauce standalone, but they could probably make more of a mint by doing so, since the sauce has its own pickley merits that elevates it above the cheap microwave burgers it's lumped in with.

[@robinburt5735]

Weirdly enough this actually made me hungry

[@Best-Match]

Doreen Green Hi Doreen! I’m a big fan of how you’re a squirrel-themed superh-I MEAN ORDINARY COMPUTER SCIENCE STUDENT

[@eier3252]

The McRib is also a staple of the McDonald's menu in Germany, and Aldi is a German supermarket chain. We also have these McDonald-ish microwave foods over here.

[@momonjaa]

You cant tell the difference between the real burger and the burger in the picture.

[@aturchomicz821]

Momonja! Wake up comrades,we need to work harder

[@goldcd]

Where'd the salad go?

[@katiepotatie1615]

Momonja! To be fair, literally every burger is like that :P

[@TauCetiAurora]

"where's the beef"

[@BushBumperBaker]

It's probably made out of plastic.

[@Zodliness]

Lightly toasting the bun, while cooking the burger for 40 seconds in its plastic packaging, sort of loosely resembles something edible as a snack!

[@barkruf]

Imagine Gordon Ramsay with these. He would go mental!

[@SeekerLancer]

I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care unless someone tried to serve one in a restaurant or pass one off as homemade.

[@Derevirn]

Only if there was a tv crew present.

[@welshdragon1736]

He is a bad mouth overrated "Chef"

[@aaronhammond7315]

The chicken is f$@cken raw!!!

[@widm0]

@@welshdragon1736 *cough cough five michelin stars cough cough*

[@N-GinAndTonicTM]

SS - Rustlers BBQ Rib. S - A - B - Rustlers Quarter Pounder. C - D - E - Quicksters. This is the only Tier Ranking that matters.

[@tomw2919]

N-Gin & TonicTM BBQ ribs are disgusting.

[@BradleyCTurner]

@@tomw2919 nah theyre great, i eat like 3 of those shits if theyre on offer.

[@n0isyturtle]

I'd love to see Ashens try one of those new fangled meatless 'bleeding' burgers.

[@lukassaunders7420]

A true chef always follows the preparation instructions on hiss microwave burgers.

[@TheToyBoy1978]

Lukas saunders Who let the snake out?

[@williamg209two]

good try but you ruined it

[@Zomfoo]

You didn’t note the smiley face on the bottom of the first burger.

[@YourLocalCatboy]

Working as a night shift guard at a hospital, microwave burgers were more or less the only thing left in the vending machines by the time I had my dinner break. Highly unpleasant item, but when you walk 30 miles a day in poor uniform shoes, a warm meal is good comfort.

[@blondebunny5560]

they used to have rib sandwiches at my school that were disgusting in texture but horrifically flavorful in taste. meatball subs at the school was the same. you should just go to your nearest public school and have lunch with some students; i'm sure they'd give you a visitors pass if you told them you're internet famous.

[@subatomicsocks9761]

When i was in elementary school i vividly remember being given a green hot dog. I decided to tough it out and go the day hungry, and then begged my mom to make me lunches from then on lol

[@Gabriel-wk3hz]

The meatball subs aren't bad, but the burgers and ribs are terrible

[@keeboreal]

Why do people trash talk school meals so much? Here in the uk they're amazing.

[@Francis63591]

Jessica Lacey Wow have to agree there

[@mcthuggin9803]

@@keeboreal they're literally trash in the U.S so

[@romulusnuma116]

I love that it comes with ketchup

[@TheFettuck]

Some versions of microwave burgers actually come with Heinz Ketchup sachets.

[@psoup.42]

Romulus Numa why?

[@romulusnuma116]

Don't know it just makes me happy

[@markiangooley]

At least it’s separate so that I could throw it out... Spending two weeks in England starting next week. I don’t think I’ll buy & try these.

[@DumbArse]

A pack costs like 10-15 pence so it should be more common

[@ProjectT]

Being a Uni student these things are quite handy in keeping food costs down every now and then. XD Honestly, I've always found that they taste like McDonalds. I prefer proper burgers, but they ain't half bad for what they are.

[@couldntmixapotnoodle]

3 years ago and i remember sitting and watching this within the hour it came out

[@evilcanofdrpepper]

Great tip about toasting the buns, only fish like soggy buns. I will try this next time I get a pork rib sandwich from the dollar tree.

[@adamfitzpatrick2162]

When ashens gives us bounty like this who can resist?

[@ryansanderson7580]

I actually quite like microwave burgers...my tastebuds were dropped on their heads when I was a child

[@Gledster]

I'm also part of a group Ashens doesn't like, I don't mind the tinned "Big Breakfasts" and such. Yum!

[@ДимитријеКончар]

Yeah i too like that cheap crap he eats

[@voodoochild3859]

Me too. I love cheap foods

[@silverchaired]

the sound of chewing made my left eye ball twitch very subtly

[@hicknopunk]

Yay, bad food is what brought me to ashens years ago.

[@BrainScratchComms]

I don't have this particular brand, but this kind of microwave burger is half my daily food intake at work. If I had more money and more time on my lunch break, I could drive to Wawa and get something decent, but... bleh. They don't let you put the burger together yourself. You have to stick it in whole, bun and all. You're so lucky you can put the cheese and bun on after microwaving it. The cheese sort of just becomes this... cheesy liquid. Not even creamy melt, just liquid. Bluh. - Lewis

[@BrainScratchComms]

There are SO MANY items in the fridge at my work's lunch cafeteria that expect you to microwave something with lettuce in it. Eegh.

[@carlclo2988]

Hey Lewis! Didn’t expect to see you here!

[@RazgulTheKind]

You can technically put the bun on afterwards but surprisingly it's even less appetising cold than it is soggy :( The best thing to do is toast the bun while the patty is... 'cooking' but honestly if I'm gunna be eating a cheapo microwave burger then I'm eating it as cheaply and as quickly as possible lol. Also... isn't cheesy liquid supposed to be what American cheese turns into when melted? Or am I getting the wrong idea entirely? Even as a lover of West-Country Cheddar I still only have American cheese on burgers, purely for the gooey melt factor.

[@BlazeChronicGreen420]

BrainScratch Commentaries you can have something decent if you bring a lunch to work.

[@sgtwolf7391]

BrainScratch Commentaries But Lewis we don't have wawas in the UK (to my knowledge) the american fast food chains I can think of that's in the UK are. MacDonalds. Burger king. KFC. subway. And pizza hut.

[@joshuabaker7543]

ive watched this video like 5 times while eating one of those, and another 4 ish times without i wish i was joking

[@ACOnetwork]

Why would you torture your self watching those "delicious" stuff?🤔😂🤣🍔🍔🍔🍔

[@og87]

1:34 This is why I love Ashens. He knows exactly how to cook a proper shit burger the right way. No soggy buns. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’m proud of you man. You’re a good lad.

[@TheHutchy01]

You can tell he spent many years as a student.

[@Jack_Wolfe]

4:27 My experience microwave food is SHIT. but since ALDI started up in australia. their microwave meals have been shockingly amazing. Either microwave food from the other shops is THAT BAD or ALDI just make some what decent products. As a test i recommend trying ALDI's Curry. they come in the fridge section (because they're not freezer meals) I get the beef (or lamb) one all the time because its the right amount of spice and actually tastes like food. They should be in a split container with card around the waist.

[@batt3ryac1d]

Some of the higher end microwave meals aren't complete garbage. But I'd still only get one if you didn't have time to cook normally.

[@ActuallyTragic]

Jack Wolfe I quite dislike Aldi's chicken-based products, outside of the actual fresh meat. It's just that all the frozen chicken tastes, well, nothing like real chicken. A lot of their stuff is usually pretty bloody good, though.

[@andrew_nabaglogamez4067]

Germany not Australia lmfao

[@MrDanielsahne]

Aldi is actually a german Discounter. What do they do in the UK or australia? 😂

[@stepanfedun9122]

@@andrew_nabaglogamez4067 He said "started up" as in has started opening shops in Australia

[@steveozone4910]

I think it's that rat burger from demolition man.

[@futurekarlos5256]

Steve Ozone "That's one of the best burgers I've had in years"

[@karl06111976]

Yeah but at least Stallone seemed to enjoy that one

[@andhieyusuf7008]

I rather have rat burger made from genuine fresh rat meat than "soy and ground-up animal organs" meat.

[@anousenic]

Rat anus and eye-lid burgers anyone? Yum!

[@papabear5935]

If people can eat possums, why not rats also.

[@VSaccount]

send one to reportoftheweek

[@raiwserkoopa2221]

Because joey would give it a 9?

[@TheEarrapist]

Raiden wOo! WoO! wOo!

[@curdis]

Thanks for the The Room repload. Was meaning to watch that. :o)

[@ExplodingJellyfish]

This is my like- 4th time viewing this video, and I gotta be honest, it's still enjoyable watching this man be mildly displeased with these microwave burgers.