THIS is What Narcissists are Looking for in a TARGET

[@boltsdluna]

Sad world but real in our world I was born in a extreme Narcissist family the outcome is a PHD in this field Yea!

[@maximinoblas1171]

Great news 👏 👍 🙌 😀 good luck in your profession.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

My God do I hear you!

[@adriennedouke1880]

I checked off all the boxes. I literally had to deny who I was to end the relationship. I had to break my heart to save my soul with this one. Glad I am out (9 years) I happily reclaimed my personality back- My love, my joy, my compassion and empathy...Way wiser now.

[@garycordle5295]

They hand selected you because of the good person you are, they look and target empaths, observe don't absorb and once you know you go you get out and you stay out 🙏👍 Jill and survivors and thrivers 🙏

[@hannahmarie6848]

I remember dancing with him in a Target store. We were so in love. Then he turned completely opposite. So horrible. I still don't trust people. I have to work through that. Also, thank you for this video. This is so informative and helpful.

[@marieke74]

I was easy to manipulate , because of my toxic upbringing . I learn now to protect my peace .

[@terrapintravels3829]

Yup, I fit the bill for a narc target. Gonna recover and never be a target again!🦋

[@polarbear5905]

Sadly traits you don't want if involved with a narcissistic who takes advantage of these but great traits to have and keep cherished to share with decent people. Thank you for this reminder.

[@williamwixon]

That’s terrifying! I was held hostage for three years by a woman but watching this video conjured a feeling and imagery of a attached parasite, that image was terrifying. Kind of attached to an unwitting host.

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

Yes. Parasites! Fleas, ticks, leeches, verman, cysts. In my minds eye, I think of them like deer ticks that burrow their head in your skin and suck you dry of blood and energy. Or when you're at your most vulnerable (after you suffer a tragedy, such as a loved ones death), that's when you're most ripe, that's when you'll get bombarded with a whole new batch of narcs. They're like multiple unwelcomed fleas jumping on you latching on and sucking your last drop of blood and energy. But you must work fast for your sanity is at stake or they will multiply 10 times more.

[@martyvirtue4051]

Here I am again Jill. As I told you earlier, my narc brother died last Friday. I am not in tears. I knew your channel allready and that is not for nothing. It was because letterally all of my friends and contacts were narcs. How come, I thought. You answered me in this video. If you know narcism from childhood you are more likely to end up in narc relationships than someone who has not known narcism from childhood. Someone who doesn’t know narcism from the early years KNOWS right away much faster something is off than the ones that are used to narcism. That was a huge eye opener. Once again, thank you so much! Your last sentence before number 6!!! That is it! Love from Amsterdam.

[@Imnotyourdoormat]

Jill is the.....Real Deal Holyfield. Kind, Considerate, Feminine, Attractive, Passionate and Compassionate. More than Most Recovering Empaths can utilize her tutelage, instruction and advice......kutgw Mentor!!!

[@michaelgarrow3239]

The clif notes: 1: Kindness is weakness. 2: Clingers get beaten. 3: The early worm gets eaten. 4: Amiable target 5: Fresh meat. 6: Have money to steal. 7: Go along to get eviscerated. 8: Race to the bottom. 9: Passion leads to death. 10: Attack the wounded animals. Love your work.

[@language-n-learning]

Thank you, Michael. Have a great day. :)

[@daleduncan5080]

Your Cole’s Notes are awesome! Thank you for the witty prose. I love it!

[@surfshack2]

Wow Jill , this really is spot on with all these different points. You have done your homework for sure. The scary part of all this is that anyone can be taken by the narcissist and without realizing that they are being totally toxified and victimized by the narcissistic abuser. It is scary how easily they can manipulate you and ruin your life.

[@naveedrehman2987]

For me it’s not the betrayal that hurts the most. It’s the fact that I wasted so many years of my life over her. Time is something I can never get back.

[@meme-zv7kw]

Empath is their perfect victim. Thank you so much this is very helpful. My son's mother got me good she used my son as a shield or a sword. I learned my lesson this won't happen to me again

[@essenceofmyheartyogapilate2759]

I can tick off everything in this video, I cannot believe how much I was in denial of him being a narcissist.

[@CTSCAPER]

All my life I've noticed the more callous a person is the kinder their partner will be. Almost without fail. I attributed that to callus/toxic people being too insecure to handle anyone who will challenge them. Like they are too weak to handle someone who will 'stand up' to them even though they project this sense of being powerful.

[@Henry1965ism]

#3 Responsibility. I used to work with a guy who was a full blown narc. He was lazy with an abusive attitude and always put on an act that he was so concerned about his duties and yet had a chronic level of absenteeism where other people (mostly myself) had to do his job to ensure a task was completed. At one time he had over 20 sick days (not a typo) in a three month period alone. He would call in and be 'sick' on a Monday and a Tuesday or a Thursday and a Friday so he could have a four day weekend. He got away with it for too long but they eventually officially made him redundant but unofficially they sacked him. And good riddance to him.

[@Sara-world]

Perfect! It kind of helps me what to look out for in a normal guy as well and not a narc. I've had too many in my life so far. Need a break. I have yet to meet a guy that displayed consistently compassionate behavior. That's what I'm aiming for now.

[@Uneedahobby]

Very true words , no wonder your last name is"Wise" . You are very wise to this subject. I used to listen to 2 others but now just Jill. She is definitely #1 in this field . I wish more Therapist ,Courts and Lawyers were as " Wise" to this kind of mental/ to physical abuse. Maybe if it was dealt with on those terms it would curb ,or even stop some of these tragic situations from happening. Alot of men ,like myself find it extremely difficult to find help in a domestic situation as there are literally dozens of " free help " places , groups and uncountable agencies to protect women in those situations but not men . Coming here and listening to Miss Wise was actually my ONLY help . It got me off my butt , to help myself and beat my Narrccistic person as there was nothing, 0 , for men in a domestic abuse situation like I was going through. I literally almost died in my situation, but thanks to Jill and her tips , I survived long enough to find MY WAY out of a horrible situation with a Covert Narrccist that was beyond belief, unbearable for so long . Thank you Jill , you should sleep well at night knowing that you did save at least 1 of us out here , Me.

[@Chahlie]

Yes. Loyalty is something that should apply to yourself, not others. It's another word for codependent.

[@lindaguy1808]

Excellent video! Thank you for enlightening us to these toxic monsters Jill! ❤

[@marlenr8691]

Darn it… I have never fit a job description so accurately 😕…

[@nobullpracticality1824]

Trust me… this is the one job you do not want to land 🚩

[@marlenr8691]

@@nobullpracticality1824 oh I landed it… for almost nine years… but thank God I was fired hahaha

[@gmbbrz]

I went through the exact same thing with my dad that you did with yours. I had physical abuse as well. I've never encountered anyone else that had the same childhood.

[@paulbarrick5001]

I tick most of the boxes too.. am a people pleaser... I thought she had money but I was paying for most things and then wanted me to leave my job, the forces and sacrifice literally my life to risk my money on risky projects. I managed to get out 3 times but got reeled back in - usually 4-6 weeks later by clever ways.. last time she had someone lined up so didn't hear anything so was okay for 2 months but then boom! she posts a pic on FB knowing my daughter would of seen it and then foolishly I got in touch not to get back but to wish her happiness.. guess what! she called me that night to say she still loved me and that hearing my voice was amazing.. so love bombing ensued. I did remind her about her relationship but of course her reply was he knows all about you! We messaged for a few days but this time instead of the instant replies I use to get, she would go radio silent.. then sent a message saying can we keep in touch, can I call you once in awhile? you know where I am and I will know where you are.. she called me again which I heard myself saying 'I will make those sacrifices' knew it was wrong so had to text and said, I will let you go, be happy and did it in a very nice way too... do you think I got a reply? no I didn't, no empathy but think she will coming back when current chap fails, lets her down or is in a financial ruin.. I was niaive .. never seen it before but have learnt a valuable lesson.. am on cold turkey and it's hard because I do have empathy, want what was nice but there is a dark side which I can't forget about! great videos and they are helping 🙂

[@nobullpracticality1824]

This is LITERALLY the EXACT topic I was JUST hoping to find on narcs! Thank you!

[@tantrictraveller1212]

Good point s - very interesting to hear that a potential target is less likely to recognize the abuser because of past exposure to abuse - it's so important to , at some point let go of analyzing the narcissist and begin being fascinated with unravelling the mystery of ourselves as empathetic human beings.

[@cayotelives]

Shoot....this is so accurate . I fell for it . Thanks ma'am

[@Soulself11]

Jill, do you think this is the reason why now, corporations are now doing personality tests as part of the job interviewing process? Could it be because more high level bosses have NPD and are looking for empathetic subordinates or are they looking for members for management team that have less empathy? It really bothers me that companies do these personality tests. What is your take on it?

[@MoPoppins]

As an empath, I _could_ say that it sucks to be one, but it’s not being a caring, sensitive, compassionate person that’s the problem-it’s having POOR BOUNDARIES that makes it so. Seriously…it’s the difference between night & day to be an empath WITH healthy boundaries, and one without. Once you recognize what kind of person you’re dealing with, you get to decide how much of yourself you’re going to give or share w/ them. *YOU* decide! Some people won’t be able to get a read on you w/o the aid of a personality test that someone else created, while there are others who can simply look at you or interact w/ you for a minute, and then figure you out. In other words, the test isn’t the problem. Some people can look right into your soul w/o any external aids. If you’re afraid that you’ll be taken advantage of because people understand your nature, that just means you’ve got some work to do on yourself. Does that make sense? Hope so. It takes time, but at least we’ve got people like Jill on our side to aid us w/ insights, sometimes simply validating things that we knew all along, but we never had our truths confirmed because this world is so full of narcs.

[@rmboch]

Had to quit a job after 10 weeks. A lot of gang stalking and ppl pleasing. I wasn't part of them. So they kept setting me up and smearing

[@toolboxevolution7456]

@@cougarlove4944 same. So bizarre. I guess INTJs make sh*tty cashiers. 🤣

[@melissahoffman9433]

@@MoPoppins I concur. Before I understood boundaries I was a mess. Respecting myself and my newfound boundaries made a huge difference. Becoming an educated empath is vital.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

I think it is a way to eradicate empaths although HR would couch it in the opposite way

[@edwardweisenburg16]

Awesome 👍😎 as usual. Unbelievable insight. Explains a lot. You're blowing my mind. you just explained the last 26 years of my life.

[@wishIwuzskiing]

At about 5 minutes in the "love bombing" info is a VERY helpful and important trait to recognize. When praise is clearly over-the-top and out of proportion to the situation or is too frequent, that is not normal or healthy. We all have good and bad days, good and less good traits in some mix. If we are humble enough to accept that all of us are a blend of traits helps to separate out what is not normal or healthy. VERY helpful tip!!!

[@TrishaLynn2024]

🙏🏻

[@michelleberger7747]

Oh my gosh! I have all ten of these qualities. Im definitely a magnet. In fact Im trying to figure out if the man Im sort of seeing is a vulnerable narsasist right now. He loves to blame me for his IBS issues and says we cant have a relationship until he figures it out. He wont allow me to help solve his problem and doesnt want to stop the romance which directly causes an IBS attack. He hates conflict so he disappears to heal. After dealing with this insanity for way too long I finally told him that Im taking the target off my back so he can no longer blame me. No more romance and now he can deal with his problem all by himself. He played alot of push and pull games and I always felt that he was against me. It was never us together finding out why he has an IBS problem. It was me causing the problem or me that hes allergic too. So stupid of him until I realized Im the stupid one for putting up with the insanity. Im not sure if I want him back anymore. My life is good with or without him. I just want to be happy.

[@Melissavisuals]

You are so spot on with all of this!! Thank you for laying it all out plainly!

[@maretomcic]

So I have 10/10. 😂 That explains a lot. ♥️

[@daleduncan5080]

Me too!

[@joshchristian8598]

My narcissisus bailed once I started calling her a narcissist... funny her therapist (a man) told her i was the narc and to start journaling ... in the meanwhile she started with ...you guessed it, another guy. I tried like hell to say I understand I have my own, let's master it together 😆 ... gone!!!! And yes I have most or all of these traits ...or I did. Naive no more...I see this so clearly

[@joshchristian8598]

Thanks Jill

[@LR-yu3mx]

Thank you, Jill! All these facts are spot on!

[@m.f.richardson1602]

Thank you, Jill, for the reinforcements. Peace 💕🇺🇲

[@brentmcintyre5529]

When I was 18 I had substance issues and low self-esteem, meet someone a few years older, and very attractive, long story short she suggested I try heroin, it would take away my inner strife. In reality it was her way of controlling me. Major red flag I missed was that she never touched the stuff her self. Ended up broken hearted and homeless. Sadly didn't yet learn my lesson. Getting figured out now. Lol

[@ashl8804]

So Sorry to hear. That's just evil....! I pray you find your inner strength again.

[@brentmcintyre5529]

@S A Actually my life's pretty good now. It took a long time and a few relapses and bad relationships. Been clean for 2yrs and at 49 I've never been happier. Also found my German Shepherd makes a great companion. Cheers 🍀👍😊

[@quoteme.goddess6957]

This is excellent information. You made this easy to understand. Thank you.

[@maureenblanchard3323]

You are absolutely bang on. Bravo. Love your talks

[@ingelathune-boyle]

Spot on as usual.

[@privateprivate8366]

I include pet ownership as part of empathy and being responsible. My neighbor saw me walk my cat, in a regular basis, like he’s a dog (because he’s sure he is). So, after I cut any conversation with her, a year later, she adopts a dog she can’t care for and tries to get another neighbor to convince me to walk it for her. So, what would that do? That would create a relationship I already expressed that I didn’t want. In addition to that, the care of a dog would mean that I’m on a schedule, that I might be encouraged to walk the dog at certain times, interrupting my own schedule and that id be required to walk it, no matter the weather, even on ice, whether the dog was trained or dragging me down the street. Note that I love dogs and grew up with them - but, I was still quite aware that she was literally trying to leash me up. That it was, “So, you like animals. Here’s one - that will also maintain that relationship with me, that you tried to end.” I was polite and even told her that, when she goes to visit her husband (who’s in prison), she could get one of those dog litter boxes. But, I got the impression that she felt her possible plan was foiled there also. Because she’d certainly expect me to care for the dog and be given a key I didn’t want to enter her apartment, which I certainly didn’t want during COVID or she might call me a cold an unempathetic person, even to the neighbors, because I wouldn’t even care for her dog, when I know she goes to see her husband. Obviously, as lonely as you “may” be, you don’t purposely adopt a pet you cannot care for and provide someone else, with the responsibility.

[@michellefarris3961]

The just kill mine. I can't have pets or do animal rescue. They have also left slaughtered birds and bunnies on my doorstep.

[@privateprivate8366]

@@michellefarris3961 I am sooo sorry. That is disgusting. I don’t know all of your situation, but I know for me, my cats are my kids and someone would pay. I don’t, typically, go after narcs, because I’m not one. But, there would be retribution, if they bother me and I’ve run off some of them. I’m not necessarily encouraging you to do so, but that’s how I’m wired.

[@Anime_kitten]

This made me cry.

[@reddmann4340]

This should have had my Name in the Title.. Fits me directly. My loyalty to responsibility was abused and crushed. She is very irresponsible to the core and I never viewed it this way. Now I am about to lose My Equity and 50% of my retirement 20 years later.

[@rockykkxwhj]

I have all the traits you talk in the video, I also grow up in the narcissist family. I have traumatic bond which have a lot of emotions pain through my whole life, now I am over 50, study narcissist abuse for two years, and understanding everything.

[@Yvagne]

This is 100% true, thank you so much Jill for your guidances. I also have this experience about toxic narcissism among colleagues and society, people that you do not have direct and deep personal relationships with. It’s like when you criticize someone’s narcissistic behaviors, another person or group of person reacts even more furiously, even it has entirely nothing to do with them.

[@davidimes]

You just described my life in perfect detail. Thank you so much.

[@jackierobinson8785]

I remember tearfully testifying to my narc's 👸 mother with my empathetic soul on what a blessing her son was to me and my two little kids. Talk about casting your pearls before the swine. I was only another blood offering for her son to demean and destroy on her carefully crafted altar. Thank you Jill for the heart rendering witness of truth that is "forever on a scaffold, wrong forever on the throne."

[@kirbyaugustine761]

Damn. I check off every character trait of the checklist. Definitely makes sense

[@maintain.faith.3657]

Appreciate You sharing this valuable information. 🤝

[@audfosutv2500]

Every point you made is the truth Jill #Facts💯

[@johnjohnstone9805]

Thanks!

[@ashleyscott879]

Thanks for Sharing.❤💖💕

[@t.l.7733]

Another great video. Jill, would it be possible to do a video on why narcissists break your stuff via coercive control/punishment. I have a former narc brother-in-law who would destroy my property (no matter what it was or how much it costs), laugh at it & walk away w/ no remorse or any expectation to repay you. My sister & malignant mother would always defend him & say too me "serves you right for getting it in the first place (Apple Macbook Pro) & forbid me from allowing me to buy the same replacement model. "you're to spend no more than $300 on your laptop & buy it used." Meanwhile, he keeps destroying property w/ no accountability.

[@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696]

Police reports! Call the police! He can't do that! Record him while he is doing it! Dustruction of property, criminal damage! You have rights! Learn how to protect yourself!

[@nobullpracticality1824]

Or Facebook Live if you want to prove to social groups what’s really going on

[@ardent9422]

Lovely information and so practical. I recognize all of these in myself and some of them I outright told people that's what I am or value, which is why I ended up dealing with so many narcissists. This information helps you realize that you're not attracting these people but they're the ones seeking you out to exploit. I bet a couple people who see this might have thought they were cursed or a spell was put on them, but truly it's that narcissists are predators and know what to look for.

[@gloriadonahue7241]

Excellent video! Pure perfection!

[@influencevideoproduction]

Wow, eye opener for me... geeeeees all 10 of them she has done to me.

[@emmaharper860]

This is so accurate. They spend their money on cash app sending money to other womem to do their dirty work and whatever else you can think of 🤔. But I'm that empathy 😒

[@DJH97]

Wow. That was amazing. Checked all of the boxes on the list. Thanks for your wisdom. Wish I heard it 25 years ago.

[@brendastein404]

If Standing Up For Yourself Burns A Bridge, I Have Matches. We Ride At Dawn~

[@Real2k25]

She tried to get me to depend on her financially

[@deenaelieff396]

Thank you💐 God bless.

[@joecummings762]

She said that the reason she approached me was due to how I was talking to my neighbor while he was working at the liquor store. I don't even remember what I had said to him... I wish I did.

[@margiestephens8977]

Nailed IT . . . . . AGAIN

[@happyhealthyblessed]

Thank for this information ❤️❤️❤️

[@weluvmusick]

Gotta here this again very interesting

[@brisingr4726]

Huge video thanks

[@jolly7728]

This is fantastic! I used to be a "good host," possessing each and every item listed here until I finally awoke. Thanks to this video, individuals can now be awake from day one and avoid numerous troubles in life as a result of this content. As a side note, I was taken aback when the narc in my life lost an essential document and then attempted to gaslight me and blame me for it (#3: the narc is irresponsible but wants to portray being responsible). I could provide many examples of everything discussed in this wonderful video from my own experiences, as if The Enlightened Target knew the narcissist I am dealing with. It's truly remarkable how on point this information is.

[@Catherine_Kate]

“Deadbeat… parasites” 🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@Real2k25]

Ur totally right

[@jyotivyas9286]

Great points Dear Jill ✌🏼🌞❤️🙏🏻🕉️😌👼✌🏼💐

[@Danielle-bj6bw]

Ok this is pretty silly but from the title I thought for a moment that Jill was about to tell us what all narcs look for when they go shopping at Target (Sales? Gift cards?)😊

[@theenlightenedtarget]

😂😂😂😂

[@olyooshka]

Sigh. This is eye opening.

[@nancyhagan7553]

i see myself in all that

[@Barneyjo]

It’s all so sad 😞

[@emmarae4322]

Well, I was screwed from the start. I might has well written “target” across my forehead.😂

[@jessmason2112]

🎯💯 I'm nice, but not that nice.

[@leonardortiz3008]

Sad too here this, I was all 10, I need too get rid of this spell

[@Portia620]

It’s very clear now I was targeted but here’s the problem my ex did not use empathy while my empathy to gain me back it was always turned on me as being my fault so he came out looking clean all the time arguments he would start he would ask a question and we get an argument and it was always my fault so things will be twisted and bent a lot and or the past would be brought up so if I was dealing with something current with him he bring up something and I did and then the conversation goes down a whole note another road so my attention was changed on to something else. He didn’t use vulnerability or the victim status to gain entrance back in a relationship there’s a few times he said he was sorry deep flowers or something

[@crencottrell7849]

As I have been conquering a spirit of reactive abuse to a female narc who smeared me half a decade ago (battled feelings of wanting to expose her, go off on her, even get physical with her), I just wanna say to her: "You do know God is and has been watching you acting aggressive towards people with the intention of getting negative reactions, watched you when you acted aggressive towards me hoping I'd react and then use my reactive abuse to smear me, watched you when you DID smear me when I called out you on your bad behavior, is watching you now if you still have any evil intentions if I break no contact to reach out to you and ask you WHY you did the vindictive things you do (not to mention ask her how you can claim to be a Christian yet feel comfortable uploading vulgar posts online that are still viewable years later)?" 😤

[@basartv5880]

what to do if they stalk you and are sending sms messages to annoy evereytime you step outside your door, when you are on foot or in traffic

[@skybengal]

Oh my god. I’m 10 out of 10 😳. Why didn’t I see this coming?

[@Real2k25]

I was naive

[@newnormal1841]

❎. Empathy Loyalty Commitment to responsibility People pleaser Naive - innocent Financially successful Cooperative Competitive Deep levels of compassion Trauma 🤺💐

[@RohitSharma-on1ye]

Lot of ppl r narc n they think thy r empath

[@johndoe-ek1qs]

I actually am of the opinion that in the vast majority of cases. Narcs know full well the monsters that they are. But are also excellent actors who convince you (or try) that they are and believe they are empaths.

[@toolboxevolution7456]

Yeah. This is bizarre

[@Cucurigu813]

Ty

[@m_dan3834]

Unfortunately I have all these traits.. all 10 and I'm a narc magnet really..

[@bewhiskeredjuarez6851]

Oh, I thought this was a video about the retail chain Target. (Slowly backs out of the room)

[@seekingforgiveness5894]

{[LOVE][GRACE][JOY]} (“THAT BUNDLE”) #Anonomous

[@jffii]

I prefer the word mark. I was a mark.

[@Real2k25]

🎯 🎯 🎯

[@Portia620]

Yes they want us to be completely loyal to them ignore their cheating hiding money and all the lies and for sake in all people even your children they can get jealous of them too!

[@rmboch]

🎯💯

[@vononymous8054]

Good Morning,Warrior Queen😁 ...🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Sounds like my antagonist's weak and enabling husband!!!

[@vononymous8054]

🙂

[@enlightenedone7083]

🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

[@healthilysceptical]

Are there treatments available for narcissism sufferers , and by that I mean the person who is the narcissist ?

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Narcisstic experts particularly psychotherapists and academics in the field all say no

[@healthilysceptical]

@@MJ-qb5ph so basically they're emotional Paedos

[@lovesongsound1]

man got it

[@larrynapier5003]

I was born to a narcissist mother that broke my marriage up

[@MJ-qb5ph]

So basically the best people in the world are their prey. How sick is that

[@audioengineeringtips]

level your bank account for sure so true then they cant give you a job been there done that

[@amandacrss]

Wow, I am so friggin DUMB!!

[@amandacrss]

Was DUMB. I'm so angry. How do I make him hurt a little? Yep, I'm spiteful.

[@AZDC99]

No contact is the best revenge. IMHO anything else, even insults, feed their ego and false God complex. Their mentality is "Wow, I've got this angry empath on a hook. Just watch them thrash about!" Don't give them that satisfaction. Just my opinion. YMMV

[@amandacrss]

@@AZDC99 2 nights and counting. No contact. And it's his bday. He's one if those sad ones.

[@AZDC99]

@@amandacrss Stay STRONG on the B-day. Because anytime you backslide with these people, in ways it's right back to square one. Then you have to reexperience the shame you felt before for letting them pull one over on you again. They're cheapshot artists too. Will certainly get you unprovoked for something petty or misperceived as a wrong.

[@treelover1050]

@@amandacrss WRITE DOWN ALL THE ABUSIVE STUFF HE DID TO YOU AND KEEP IT HANDY In Case YOU ARE TEMPTED TO TAKE HIM BACK.