This Strategy Changed EVERYTHING About My Life

[@desireelevesque634]

I've been stuck in really deep depression for years feeling like I'm cursed, but I'm finally starting to see the fog lifting. This skill is really going to be helpful I think. I accepted an invitation to go out for trivia night with some coworkers and invited another friend to hang out sometime to try to get myself out of the rut of doing nothing but work and care for my elderly mother with dementia. I want to have a life and friends and actually be happy instead of just trudging through life. I also bought some nice smelling cleaning supplies to help me prioritize spring cleaning and I have been trying to be better at returning phone calls and text messages and actually sorting and reading my mail and just all around getting stuff done. That is the person I want to be, not the one who procrastinates and sleeps all day on my days off b/c participating in life is too much. Trying to take it in baby steps so I don't get overwhelmed, but I do want to set some goals and have some things to work toward and feel some small sense of accomplishment that has been lacking.

[@BarbaraM-lv7pe]

desireelevesque634, my fiancé and my dad both say “pick one thing a day from your To-Do list that is the most important thing that you want to accomplish, and do it. Even if you’re not able to get anything else accomplished, consider your day successful b/c you conquered that Very Important Thing. Pretty soon you’ll feel better, gain mental traction and hopefully are able to do more as best you can. 💐 I do this b/c of adhd. “keep the main thing, the main thing”

[@Im_nobodyspecial]

Want to be an accountability buddy?

[@Trustbutdocument]

After 51 years of not existing, completely stunned at our carbon copy symptoms. I'm cautiously hopeful, Thank you

[@AdrianMark]

I split my day into 4 phases just to prevent this problem. If I get knocked out in one round, I get back in by the next phase or the phase after that. I get more decision opportunities to not quit.

[@hulamei3117]

Good strategy!

[@NickatNite511]

I love this, thanks for the inspiration

[@joanndeck4315]

I’m going to try this! Thank you for the great strategy

[@aarti9917]

This is really very useful..

[@One_Call_System]

Good advice.

[@LovisaSvensson-iw7wc]

My version of this trick isn't to think "who do I want to be", but to take a deep breath, remember that I'm still alive, and do one or two things that I think I can handle. I don't really have a vision of who I want to be, not a fan of grandiose dreams in general which may be a failing of mine. Hope this helps someone if the video didn't.

[@LizzieN01]

you don't have to imagine grandiose dreams, you only have to be the better version of you. And to evolve with this improved version of you. for years I tried to be a smooth character to fit into the criteria of society, my family, my job...It worked for a while, until I had a big depression and I understood that I had done everything in my life to please others. for several years I have rebuilt my true personality in a better way, and when I have a problem to solve, difficulties, I always ask myself this question "what would my best version of me would do?" it works wonderfully

[@NorlynCodes]

This is a good one. Thank you so much! I will try this❤❤❤

[@11deicide]

@@LizzieN01 I inspire a lot of discomfort and hatred with my personality because I don't seem to share the same values, wavelength or culture with people but I'm trying to learn that to become the best version of me I really have to work to get as uncomfortable and hated as possible and not feel like that's a fault of mine, just the better version of me :)

[@soniaperez2417]

I can't imagine that the better version of oneself makes people uncomfortable. The better version of oneself have highly valued attributes (virtues) not creepy ones. 🥺🤔

[@11deicide]

Whats creepy for some are virtues for others. Most people make me uncomfortable as well because i think they have creepy values, so i feel the clash and I understand in their world they have to work for the qualities i find creepy to be seen as a better persons. Its just a shame i cant feel good about myself socially because im pretty much alone in my world, i feel pretty good personally though, but a bit hopeless to be honest

[@ibperson7765]

“The world just seems to not be a fan of me, so Im just gonna withdraw from it”. Wow

[@dotdashdotdash]

relatable

[@johnwhite7320]

This video was one of the most honest, articulate, and helpful in dealing with the human condition I've ever seen. Thanks Scott.

[@mare2723]

❤

[@kikijewell2967]

"It's not your responsibility. But it is your power." Responsibility leads to guilt. But power leads to strength. Once I realized how different these were, it really helped me take charge of my actions.

[@wendym2544]

Powerful. Do you remember where you got this from?

[@caroljaymes3880]

Responsibility leads to guilt? Only if you don’t fulfill ur responsibilities… if you do fulfill your responsibilities, then it makes you proud and a sense of self satisfaction.

[@kikijewell2967]

@@wendym2544 I wrote it, actually spent some time to make it poetic. It came out of the fact that women have to spend labor to educate men on the issues women face. This education time is a lot of work. Many women resent this work. And that's totally fair. However it's also something we can do to make a difference. So, no, it's not required labor. However it does make things better. And it's easier to do when you don't have to resent it. You can do this work to embrace that power, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to. And that's also powerful.

[@kikijewell2967]

@@caroljaymes3880 when responsibilities are piled on so that you're not able to accomplish them all, that can lead to overwhelm, guilt and resentment. I was just identifying _some_ of those perceived responsibilities as ones that can be let go. And reframing them so if you do choose to do them, you can do them for empowerment not for guilt.

[@annelbeab8124]

The word respond is just.... respond. Not always do something or carry the whole weight. I give an example: When passing an accident, we respond. We see and we feel. That's the first response. Then to figure out whether there it is call to action and what our capabilities are: there is an ambulance already there, our next step is different than when not. And different whether we are a nurse, doctor or not.

[@Thoughtworld1984]

I am so glad I found this channel. This is so much better than 95% of what most mental health practitioners have to offer. Thank you!

[@AprilMears-j7q]

Agreed 👍

[@dootersnooter5343]

Yeah I told my therapist I just couldn't get out of bed and I didn't know why and she was like "I don't know how to help you." I had to figure it out on my own but dealing with shitty people and being gaslighted when I didn't trust that I was right I forgot. So hearing someone else who actually had credentials say it is different.

[@indy18286]

@@dootersnooter5343 it's because as a therapist they are lazy, they didn't want to dig deep to find out in order to help you ,it was all bout the money for them, not helping you !

[@bonniepark6802]

I'm 71 years old and I have had many many issues in my life to face late in life. I recently listened to your video about midbrain for brain and the tail end brain. This video was about the freeze syndrome. It helped me to unfreeze so thank you Keep On Keepin On you're good at this s***

[@freescot8035]

Somebody walked by with a gas can !? Now that is lovely to hear. In the midst of your tough times you are loved and being looked after.

[@BarbaraM-lv7pe]

freescot8035, yes, I noticed that slipped in comment, too. Acknowledge the blessing! The discernment and care of others got you home that day. That’s kindness. The world was not totally covered in darkness, there are some kind souls out there, and one of them showed up for you!

[@lizparker9090]

Yep he can make things up for his story time.

[@WorldWideWebObserver]

One of the facts of life is that life is not fair. Condolences for your sweet goldfish. Thanks for sharing your story.💐

[@ddlang2514]

I’ve been in freeze mode for 4 months. And numbing out in order to drown out that critical voice. It’s been a common cycle in my life. I had a good run of about 6 years in which I was able to function very well even with horrible circumstances. Then 4 mos. ago, all the stresses just piled up and down I went. Everything you said makes sense. It’s good to know I’m not alone. And that you’ve discovered ways to get back up and hold steady. I’ll continue listening in.

[@j-lew]

This is BY FAR the best channel I have ever happened upon. Thank you SO MUCH for what you are putting out there. I relate so deeply to so much of the stuff that you say. Please never stop. You are helping so much.

[@sezoe4271]

"...it's just the universe, doing its random universe stuff..." hahaha - made my day! 🤣

[@klpuhelin2816]

I think it is a curse after all 😂

[@gracecouchrealtor4413]

I remember, every time I get up, it’s a victory. And, I celebrate.

[@peterdejong6473]

Okay, I love what you're saying. I feel so much of these feelings. My life has been haunted by depression. In recent years this has caught up with me big time. I decided to stop everything and focus on my own mental state. I tried hobbies, music, pets, rest, reading gardens, gym, sleep,YT, for three years. Six weeks ago I gave up bread (all wheat & grains), sugar and fruit juice, alcohol, coffee. I take Celtic salt & electrolytes. Wow, all that mental sh** has abated. I'm gradually able to get my life back. So for me, meat & vegies only. 2 meals a day and NO snacks. It's not easy to begin with but after a month becomes normal. Obviously no smoking/ vaping. Soon I will be exercising again and hopefully back to the land of the living. I'm will lose a couple of kilos and be back to a healthy weight. I would like to suggest that mental disorders are heavily involved with poor diet- more than anyone realises.

[@KM-wv2og]

Hi there I found this comment incredibly helpful thank you. I drink and smoke and eat all of the things that you've mentioned above to try to help me cope with depression but now reading your comments I realised that they are probably causing the depression. Please could you tell me if you think cheese should go as well because I eat about 3 oz of cheese a day for 3 years now❤

[@lisaalexander1824]

ALL DAIRY is toxic...ESPECIALLY CHEESE.... ​@@KM-wv2og

[@lisaalexander1824]

Chocolate...I can actually FEEL the pull on my innards if I have some now, after giving it up for a month...PROOF that's it's toxic to me...finally I'm eating better and learnt about gut / brain health at 67...after being skinny, fit and ABLE to digest anything I desired...till I hit 55...oh. and I'm lazy af and can get manic or low just from energy drinks..

[@laokennish7228]

Dr. Chris Palmer and Dr. Georgia Ede are so worth checking out on utube.

[@peterdejong6473]

@@KM-wv2og I read your comment. Good health happy life starts with gut health an moderate exercise. As you live clean and move your body you will also age better without the health issues. After researching what is a good diet there seems to be still some disagreement about low fat. I think fat is healthy. It's sugar and cards that are dangerous. Now I believe the low carb high meat & veg diet. Caucasians have a gene makes them tolerate dairy better than Africans or Asians. So the only thing to cosume is: meat fish dairy vegies eggs and whole fruit. Obviously all this is natural food. Everything else is not proper food: energy drink, soft drink, alcohol, biscuits, cake seed oil, bread, cereal, carbs flour lollies crisps ...ditch it all. No takeaway. Only eat moderate amount of clean good food that you mostly cook yourself. Makes a quantum change to all of your body and mind. Do some weights for 5 mins a day. Eventually you will start to become more active. Start slowly make changes gradually and permanently.

[@kathrynarnold1966]

Your book arrived today. Praying it helps. I am SO shutdown after years of overwhelm and now it all headed straight for what feels like the brick wall of my current pending life change crisis decisions. I'm getting old and can't afford more mistakes. Per your suggested question, during this video I grabbed a fat marker and wrote on a sheet of paper "What would the person you want to be DO today?"

[@monicab8176]

Sending you love❤ I see u. I’m sitting with ya in spirit. I understand and I hope something great happens for u tday 😘

[@philosophyselfimprovement8928]

"What would the person you want to be DO today?" That's a great way of wording it, something that we can say/ask to ourselves each day.

[@TenTenJ]

Kathryn, I have learned to be aware of the story I have in my mind. This should help a lot.

[@intignia]

I couldn't help but laugh when you described your "Horrible-No-Good-Day" because I had TWO of them just this week. It was like "someone" was out to get me. I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't funny at the time. Luckily I'm 70 years old, so I've a lot of experience with Life, so I just pulled back, or slowed down a little, and treated myself extra nice that day. Why did I treat myself extra nice? Because I have a tendency to beat myself up when anything in life goes wrong. So I asked myself if I caused any of these problems, saw that it was just Life and not me, and turned my "Horrible-No-Good-Day" into an okay day.

[@hulamei3117]

That's great! On my worst days, I will treat myself with extra care.

[@Maria-zv9up]

Ok. I am not sure if I can push through, but instead of closing the day right away, I will focus for 10 minutes on this incredibly frustrating task at hand with the best of my abilities and see if I can get a shift in my mindset. Edit: Once I started, I saw the first results with amusement, so just kept going, and finished in 45 minutes! Feel proud and grateful. Thank you.

[@ca5417]

Yay! Celebrate and feel grateful for every single time you overcome! It's like you have your own secret superpower!

[@FunkyBaby01]

"I am a cursed human being" - I hear you, brother. Paying attention now.

[@kerrytopel9835]

Fish die-offs are very depressing events even when they’re not fish in your care-like a nearby creek where I lived where there was a toxic spill. But I also had a pond with fish I’d watched for years that suddenly started rapidly dying. I know how depressing that is. THANK YOU for these very helpful videos!! Many of us can’t afford to see a psychologist.

[@marionsutcliffe1119]

I have recurrent bad fishy-parent nightmares reflecting this fear. Bizarre upsetting and depressing ,(in a minor way).

[@RR35592]

I have dreams where I have neglected aquariums. Didn’t do it on purpose but apparently didn’t know I had them so fish were being cared for. Very upsetting. What is that about? Haven’t had it awhile so hope no more.

[@jeffreygates5788]

I am having one of days those crap days today , thanks to a sequence of events, and negative comments pointed at me ,from a loved one ,so then Mr. Very angry takes over my mind , I then say negative hurtful comments ,to my other loved ones , and I've managed to create a bigger problem, which has caused a massive depressive state of mind. And division in my family, so what you have said is 100% correct , and I thank you ,now I need to give myself a big uppercut, apologise for my hurtful behaviour, do a lot of deep breathing exercises, meditation, and take note of your very helpful advice , thank you so much , and lots of love to all

[@user-dy9oo6vd1b]

I came here for the fish. I once had a 25 gallon freshwater tank when I was in my 20's, I taught myself the ins & outs of their care and had some of those fish for several years. Then one day I came home and they were all dying at once, for a reason that I never figured out (nothing obvious). I was low key proud of how well I'd cared for them but it broke me to fail them so suddenly & completely. In a way it's trivial, just a bunch of fish, and yet if you believe life is precious and has value, it's a loss.

[@jimscott1246]

You are so brilliant. I'm listening to your dreadful day and recalling the the four years I laid in my bed with the curtains drawn. I wanted the world and my life to be over. And the only thing that turned me around was when I started an about face and started becoming who I wanted to be. One acquaintance who seemed to possess the best energy of anybody I ever met, made me want to be more like him. The image was one I could actually become. I'm still not there, but I am so far from that dark bedroom of misery. Keep telling people your story. Someone will hear it at the right time. And their life will be changed.

[@janetsmith4384]

I am so thankful and grateful for you Dr Scott. I watched and listened to you several nights ago. You spoke to me directly as you have just done here. You know ho I feel because you’ve been there or you are there. You don’t judge, you lift up. You look up. I’ve been judged and blamed and ridiculed for so many years it has brought me to tears to hear you struggle as well and you don’t judge. THANK YOU for that. Don’t apologize for living and missing your fish. Like your babies!! I’m struggling with my dementia dog as to when do I let go. And yes I’ve had many many days like you described. I thank you for putting a face and suggestions in a voice. I will try your suggestions. I’ve been mired in the oh woe is me attitude for so many years it will take a lot of practice. I do thank God that he led me to your channel. You have already made an impact on me and my way of looking at things. You are a blessing to a lot of people. Keep helping us please. I will pray for you. God Bless You Dr Scott. You ARE making a difference! ❤

[@DrScottEilers]

I really appreciate this ❤️❤️

[@julieolson1402]

Letting go of pets is so hard! They're so innocent. They didn't give up on us when everyone else did. They're such a source of strength & comfort. We just can't abandon them! I could do without people in my life, but I couldn't live without my pets. Then one day I realized that the Lord was asking me to give them up to Him because I was depending more on my pets than I was on His love. I was like an addict surrendering my drug to Him. Not easy, but necessary in my journey forward. I'm an irrevocable introvert but now I've allowed a few people in my life, and it feels good. After a few years without pets I realize I have no strength to lose them anymore. That would undo me. However, a small part of me will never change - I still have to feed the wild birds!

[@switchpathbyamypreston5428]

I might like to add that there is a time when person can't move because of exhaustion. Laterally unable to function because of lack of energy due to lack of proper nutrition and lack of recouperative sleep. That on top of everything else has given me leaden paralysis. Some people call it being at the bottom of the barrel. I tell people I spend most of my time having fell through the bottom of the barrel and looking up, trying to figure out how to just get to the bottom from beneath it. Since 2016, this is where I have existed. I had a life changing even take place in 2016 that removed the bottom of the barrel of my life, and I am hanging on to the edge of the bottom. But at 65 years old, with nothing left but the edge to hold on to, it can be difficult to remain here. Even when my strength is good and my grip is sure, hanging from this ledge for the rest of my life has its challenges. My strong healthy days are fewer and farther between. Tired of being sick and tired.

[@janetsmith4384]

@@switchpathbyamypreston5428 you can do it! I will pray that prayer especially for you. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@freescot8035]

Hey Amy, hang in there =) On top of the the life changing event in 2016, I wonder if menopause made everything that much tougher ?@@switchpathbyamypreston5428 If so, that could be beginning to lift. Thinking of you. Hoping and praying you feel better and better. And if you take a while to then coorie in and remember there are folk here who care about you =)

[@Diane_McDon]

You are a blessing in my life, your pain was not in vain. Thank you for sharing your story

[@arabellacox]

This is great advice for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm 52 and been in a relationship for a year. When i act based upon how i feel the result is never good and things get much worse. I need to take a breath, not react but STOP! and think, then calmly express my fears (because my reaction is always triggered by fear). This will bring me some control in my life. I've allowed everyone and everything to dictate how I feel. I've been reactive my entire life. God knows how long it will take to turn my life around but I've nothing to lose - thank you for this, for giving me a strategy that may actually work! xx

[@criticalthinker72]

Have you looked into a Highly Sensitive Person. Check it out.

[@adadove6380]

best of luck

[@arabellacox]

@@adadove6380 🙌

[@lulumoon6942]

Bravo! The HALT Method is helpful for some, where you pause and ask if you're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired before continuing. 🙏

[@bonnyblue9399]

Hang in there, I know how you feel, trust me! I look at my situation as a true knock down drag out fight but I have decided not to lose no matter what!

[@TheOnlyNeffie]

I have had a small backyard pond with fish for about 12 years and it's devastating when there is a sudden loss, especially a large die off. Most pond owners totally empathize, it is heartbreaking when something goes wrong. So sorry about your week!

[@jonnyasis7485]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/b4atoqNmotqZqa8feature=shared

[@mph1ish]

Any idea why that happens? I didn't know it was a common thing.

[@brookeduncan9621]

Hi Scott, I must thank you for your videos and for helping people. I've been talking to a therapist for 4 years since losing my husband of 40 years, and subsequent burn-out from a stressful job, my only child, my daughter being diagnosed with a brain tumor.... I now have the most beautiful grandson, still suffering from burnout and brain freeze, but through your videos I understand now what's happening with me. Therapist is helpful, but you are more helpful. I thank you.

[@patriciamharris5664]

❤ to Brookeduncan9621

[@juliemaitland1176]

I care about how you were feeling and how hard you have had to fight your thoughts to lead a life you can manage and, hopefully derive some kind of joy and satisfaction from. I get how you feel but you manage to be a very caring man albeit a very vulnerable one. I notice the vulnerability because that is part of my feelings and I can see it in you. Your patients are very lucky to have you in their corner but these videos you are doing are of inestimable value to many people - I am pleased when I see a new post from you. In a way you show that ‘normal’ can take many forms and that it is possible to alter your mindset if you are told how. You have the medical background to practice but more importantly, you are on the same journey as those who turn to you for clarity and hope. You show you are human with all the faults and fears that go with it; you weren’t afraid to say you loved those fish whatever you felt people might think. You are totally believable which is why I want to take on board your suggestions. I shall need to listen to you a few times to fully grasp and remember what you say (I have ME and brain fog plagues me). Just now I am devastated by my dear mum’s recent death (2 week’s off 95 years old). I can’t see any meaningful life left to me. We had lived together for a very long time and now there’s nothing left in my life to keep going for. It seems to be getting harder to cope. To paraphrase your question ‘how do I want to get over her death?’ By understanding that 95 is a big age and that her quality of life was such that I think she consciously wished for an ending and just gave up. I have lovely memories but just now I want her not memories. But you are right, asking that question is at least a step forward even if I’m not quite ready to accept her passing. So, yes, it is a positive thought which I shall try and hold on to when the tears come and I can only feel pain. Thank you, Scott - you said you loved all of us - I love you too❤

[@DrScottEilers]

This is one of the most heartwarming things I have ever read - thank you so much for taking the time to leave this comment ❤️

[@janetsmith4384]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@Divinestyler22]

Hope you are well. Your mom is always still with you ❤

[@JD-hy2pg]

To Julie

[@sietze.temporary]

You're a man improving himself, that deserves respect. Also teaching others about the methods of doing so. Surely a good guy, keep on going...

[@ginalisenby9668]

I love your honesty and humility. I'm sorry for your bad day, but it makes our little community that much closer.

[@michelleleamarie]

Thank you for doing these videos. I've always allowed my emotions to rule my life and have had periods where I shut down and am unable to function. I felt like I was alone in this and used my feelings of shame to further spiral. It's comforting to know I'm not alone and that I do have a choice and control over what happens in my life. By changing my mindset and getting real with myself about my role in my unhappiness I have slowly begun the processing of healing and learning a new way of being. Your video came to me as confirmation and support at just the right time in my life! 🙏

[@agentm83]

as someone who has anxiety and used to be depressed, I still have bad days occasionally. I try to stay positive and everything, but I get sick of the whole "just keep your chin up" narrative. That said, I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability in this video, definitely relatable.

[@jennajg567]

Ty Dr Scott. I appreciate you sharing your life and how you apply the skills you are teaching. This is Gold

[@GodsMan500]

Sometimes it’s actually scary when everything is going against you. It almost feels like it’s beyond random chance, that it’s a supernatural thing where you are the target. That tends to generate some very real fear and alarm. It seems impossible for so many things to go wrong at once, so it tends to challenge our concept of reality. Very frightening stuff. In those times I tell myself that whatever the cause, it’s not as final and far-reaching as it may seem. I think that many of us have a tendency to “catastrophize”. I have that tendency. The fact that I have a few inescapable physical problems adds to the fear. I’m going to search to see if you’ve ever done a video on catastrophizing. If not, I hope you will someday tackle that subject. Thanks for the great work!

[@DrScottEilers]

I haven’t yet but it’s on the list!

[@BarbaraM-lv7pe]

GodsMan500, read up on the ANT acronym in psychology: it stands for Automatic Negative Thought, of which catastrophisizing is one example. Learn about what you can do to mentally combat those thoughts and have thoughts that more accurately reflect reality and the situation at hand.

[@yaw3629]

Just needed to say I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your goldfish, the loss of beings in my care is not not something I personally take lightly. You are strong and give me strength. There’s something about your messages that really hit home and I really appreciate your content.

[@LeiSie]

Yes, that is exactly where I am right now. How cool the universe brought this to me and am listening to it now. Thank you for this. Menopause, grief, and dealing with childhood trauma.

[@DivineFeminine99]

Ur a busy family man yet you come on KZbin to make videos to help the masses. Thx for your service to humanity . Ur vulnerability in sharing ur stories is much appreciated.

[@Knowledge.Seeker13]

I wish he had said sth for people who are not needed (I'm single, no spouse or children, parents dead). If I died today, maybe a few friends would cry a little but nobody depends on me. Living for your own sake makes things harder.

[@LauriKunes]

You are singing my song.

[@heyyayyo]

You are very much needed. There are so many animals out there who don't have anybody and they really need someone like you to take care of them. When you have a pet or care for animals, you are their whole world. Have you tried volunteering at an animal shelter, fostering or adopting an animal? It is very healing. Animals are innocent, pure, non-judgmental and make you feel like the most important person in the world - because for them - you are. They give you a purpose. And the happiness they bring you - it's priceless.

[@lilyallen6411]

​@@heyyayyo My dog just passed away 3 days ago and you took the words right out of my mouth. Though it hurts so badly, I know that I gave him a good life, and that he actually helped me become a better person. We needed each other. And I didn't even want a dog when I got him! I wanted to be selfish and only have to take care of myself. But being his mom was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

[@cocoandrobin]

It's exhausting fighting the bear with a plastic knife every day though...

[@hulamei3117]

It is exhausting.

[@joycerosenlund4151]

Great analogy

[@Dani-ICU-RN]

At least you got a plastic knife I got a spoon

[@shamalk]

This. There is a limit to how many battles I could fight at the same time.

[@FG-ie7cu]

Yes, it is like having a Saviour who tells you to be meek and mild, while everyone else is out there sharpening their fangs and claws. I hear you.

[@betdotson4794]

Love this video! Being in the darkest deepest depression where those days for me feels like Groundhog Day. Every day is exactly the same day for me. This video begins to wake me up. Interestingly an hour ago I stepped outside’ “often my short few minutes escape from my prison” to take a minute to look up at the stars and talk to God, outside those prison bars in my head. I said tonight WTH happened to the day, the week, the year, the years? I ask that often. Everything is going a**ed backwards and all I manage is to go lock myself back inside my prison. I have heart disease, Disautonomia, diabetes, COPD, a liver disorder, diverticuli traction in my chest and a whole list of other physical and mental prison guards. I often feel trapped. Again tonight I’m telling my friend I feel trapped. I feel lots of negative feelings. I’m also OCD and PTSD. I think about my younger brothers, two lost to depression and suicide at early ages. I think the feeling trapped is very close to where their heads were before they took their lives. I have agoraphobia, not as bad as it was several years ago. I had to fight my way through those bars. Tonight I saw this video and it widened the spaces between those prison bars for me. I got it. It made sense. I even smiled and a few times laughed. Nothing is funny, actually quite seriously serious but I laughed a few times “ felt so good” because you reminded me of myself. I could relate to those days. I’m so glad I subscribed to this channel. It has helped me more than 15 years of everything else I’ve tried. This is my go to channel for healing. I’ve been sharing it with my friends as well. Great useful info here! 👍❤️

[@TheErika711]

You have not only saved my life in many ways you keep reminding me ITS NOT JUST ME - seriously THANK YOU 🙏

[@markcornelsen6613]

Doc, Myself, and I'm sure anyone watching this is grateful for your transparency. Thank you!!

[@anitalassiter7284]

I have recently found your channel and I’m feeling more hopeful than I can remember and I’m 57 years old. Thank you isn’t enough for what you do but thank you so very much!!!

[@montanacrosses]

Scott you just made my day and I get it!!! You may not know this but Jesus loves you very much. He is using you to set me free by sharing your truth!!!

[@DrScottEilers]

I do know this 😄

[@lulumoon6942]

THIS ONE PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD HAVE CHANGED DECADES OF MY LIFE! HEED IT! 🙏🕊️

[@paularowe1574]

Great advice!!! …..and I’m so sorry about your goldfish. I’d be devastated!

[@helmileffler4514]

Thank you, more than ever, for this way of thinking. I have attempted suicide twice many years ago, escaped and hid away many different time and ways, all to no avail. This way clearly explains what, why and how, and I am ready to answer the second part with honesty now. Again...your sharing your story and how you came to this point is helpful. Thank You.

[@zenthr]

I had a similar thought, and to a degree I understand it. However, the me I "want" to be seems completely incongruous with living a life, so I'm still engrossed in a battle against society. Now the me I want to be is not me, but just that sort of alien you thought you were. An invader into the system I am not permitted to be apart of.

[@platformofglorypraisewithj2310]

I watched this 6 months later. Just wanted to say that it's okay to grieve your PET gold fish. You loved them. It's okay to give a bit of space to yourself for that. I hope you did. ❤

[@christinamarandino8079]

Wow. Subscribing to this channel was like making friends with someone who tells me exactly what I need to hear. Thank you so much ❤

[@DrScottEilers]

Welcome aboard!

[@norismendoza4503]

This is a practical and helpful strategy. I'm using it today! Also, I'm sorry about your loss with the goldfish. I don't think it's silly at all to grieve that. It may have started as just a 'fancy' when you moved in your new home but it's more than that now. You watched them multiply, then their babies multiply, etc... You observed the 'life' of these little fish become families, then grow into a larger family and into a community. A little fish world! I'm sure it was fun for your entire family! I hope you'll restock if it's safe to. I just discovered your channel. I find it practical, encouraging, and thought provoking. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable. Thank you.

[@rachelcoloradomy3kidz778]

Ty for being vulnerable and honest 😊 Much appreciation 😢❤

[@amalexander7711]

This helped tremendously. This morning started out crappy, and this week is already a stressful week. Watching this helped shift my mind around and I’m tackling the rest of the week, determined not to let my struggles get the best of me. Thank you!

[@vanessaprincesssa]

Amazing - 3 ways to look at goals. 1. Excitement in looking forward to the goal. 2. Good feelings while experiencing the thing. 3. (most overlooked one) Good feelings in the future while you are looking back at what you experienced and remembering it. Appreciating that you went through it. Thank you!

[@blackbirdbones1455]

You are by far the best Psy Dr. to come on youtube!!! So easy to follow/understand/grasp!!!! I'm so grateful to find you. I'm reclusive and it's my many animals and remote secluded area that is necessary for me. Slowly I am improving because I decided I needed to survive for the animals I took in. (I will always take care of them which forces me to moooove and work hard) I do not drink or drug. I only drink water and work on better eating. It is nature working for me. And humanity is pointless to me, cept for a few. Now I got you to help figure out the 'brain'. Non functioning days are improoving also. Thanks so much for your knowledge and down to earth talk. PS the other thing that also has really really helped was binural beats, solfeggio frequencies for sleep and anxiety!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@DrScottEilers]

I really appreciate that!

[@MaggieMorrissey1916]

Holy jesus. I did that twice. I ran out of gas twice in my 20s because i was so anxious about filling it up. Once on the highway alone at night. Sheriff had to come get me. Once on the street, a few steps from the petrol station. ⛽️ felt like an ass.

[@miguellle]

Your doing such a great job Scott! Thank you🙏🏻

[@DrScottEilers]

I appreciate that!

[@marymiettinen9821]

My thought when I have a day like that, or a week like that I remember this “Live like you are the hero in your own life story. “. Then I do. Many thanks for making this video, I laughed and cried with you…mostly I identified in some important ways. But this video really is helpful and health-full. Brilliant! Have a heroic Tuesday!

[@TheErikapal20]

Your video made me go to the store and buy healthy food instead of continuing my unhealthy eating depression spiral. Thank you.

[@EricCampbellUAV]

food doesnt matter. what even is “healthy food”

[@TheErikapal20]

@@EricCampbellUAV it absolutely does matter to feel good on the inside. and exercise too

[@EricCampbellUAV]

@@TheErikapal20 i don’t believe “healthy” food feels any better than a big mac…

[@TheErikapal20]

@@EricCampbellUAV I feel a lot nor energy eating healthy, also my skin is cleaning up. I’ve already lost 13 lbs And it makes going for a jogg 100 times easier

[@EricCampbellUAV]

@@TheErikapal20 placebo effect

[@Beckywiththegoodhair9]

Funny, the mundane simplistic things we develope a fear of doing. I feel ya! Your videos help me more than any counseling I have received, more than the many antidepressants I have taken for 35 years.....seriously, thank you.

[@DrScottEilers]

You are so welcome!

[@nadogrl]

I hope that you have stopped the meds.❤

[@Beckywiththegoodhair9]

@@nadogrl I have stopped them. I haven't taken them since 2021. And I am so much better for it!

[@nadogrl]

@@Beckywiththegoodhair9 - Wonderful!❤️

[@nordicview4837]

Thank you, Scott! You are obviously meant to do what you do here. Who else could bring this across so perfectly well - to the point - while being authentic, intelligent, and vulnerable! What you share is the truth and exactly what I needed to hear today. I am so grateful! 🙏

[@happycamper5529]

I love your transparency 😇 Your pain was gift to us, because it lead you to help our understanding. So helpful 💕

[@Stardustceiling]

It was nice to hear this, I really needed this video, and the one where you talk about what you have to do to keep your brain healthy. It's exactly the same for me. Because it's so easy to think you're the only one who feels cursed and sad because of it. Especially thank you for saying that about your poor goldfish, and that you were still mourning them because you loved them. That was so strong of you to admit that and it helped me a lot. I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family. I'm mourning a beloved older cat that passed recently. We're expected in life to just keep going on and working, shopping, cleaning, etc., despite the pain we feel inside. And like you, I tend to feel that pain physically in my back, where I will strain it just doing normal things I always do. I think it's because that anger and frustration which we turn inwards, and it becomes then depression, is being expressed physically that way. It tightens us up, our very muscles, as we try to go through our days and function. But we're carrying this pain and anger around inside of us. I've been dealing with this for some time now, and I can relate so much to what you're saying. You can let it stop you and then things get worse. Or you can admit I don't like this or that, but I want to be THIS person in life and another downward spiral isn't going to get me there. I've been there and I want to not be the problem. I love that you're not saying don't feel the feelings, just don't let them stop you from going forward instead of down again. Thank you for your honesty about your personal struggles. Because it really helps to hear that others deal with so much, and yet live their lives going forward trying to be the best person they can be.

[@TinaSotis]

It takes so much courage and energy to not huddle.weeping helplessly in the face of bad things happening. I become superstitious and terrified, convinced that I'm cursed. But what you say is absolutely true. I'm so sorry about your goldfish. ❤❤❤

[@lauriejerome9179]

Just found your channel and boy am I happy! You speak my language in a way that clicks, goes straight to my heart and mind. I want to have my hope restored. Thank you for creating this channel.

[@HarveyMichaluk]

I've been to psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors, mentors, pastors and *none* sound like you. Your candor, your authenticity sets you apart from all of those. It should be do as a do, not as I say which I've read in some book or been taught in some course. So, refreshing, but more so motivating for me to understand I'm not alone and I can change! Thank you.

[@sincerefaithfulness]

I love your humility in sharing your most embarrassing moments from your own life. Makes it relevant .. as if you’re beside me sharing stories as a friend

[@jeanienapier6566]

Oh how I wish I'd had this information 20 years ago. I've been on so many different meds for depression and anxiety. In and out of therapy since losing my husband in 2003. I'm now 64 years old and finally someone out there gets me. Dr. Scott I am so grateful that you are willing to reach out to people like me. Thank you so much. Sorry about the goldfish. I get it.

[@errarehumanumest0481]

You're so insightful, deep, open, honest and intellectual. Thank you for this video. Mental illness (or whatever term is preferred) is a special kind of torture.

[@kellymitchell3138]

I'm going to work now. Thanks for helping me get my ass out of bed this morning 😊

[@RainbowPyramid]

Thank you for your real and raw sharing. Yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean. You are so brave to share this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing how tough days happen and the choice points and an example of how to pull up / out when we feel like our day is in a nose-dive. (Thank you for sharing about your goldfish. It is so symbolic that each of us have our own "goldfish" moment and just because some around us might not understand why we are so hurt or upset, does not invalidate what we feel and it is okay and normal that each of us have different things that mean the world to us). 💙💚💙

[@joyousvirat7317]

OMG. Thank you so much Sooo very much for mentioning those issues. You explained it all

[@skj068]

Thank you, Scott. Working through lifelong depression, childhood trauma and having an academic college background in psychology myself, the way you articulate is so relatable and resonates with me so much. You are truly changing lives here by telling your own story combined with a career in psychology to create trust and credibility. I had tears by the end of this because you actually understand what depression and anxiety feels like.

[@martavalenzuela8480]

In those circumstances the only thing that works for me is to take the day off to cool down and reasses the facts

[@yvonnemorris7617]

Thankyou for this. It made me cry. My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and I watch you to see if I can understand what she goes through and how I can react best towards her changing moods. I am going to ask her to watch this to see if she can use your suggestion to teach her a technique which may help her when she is spiralling.

[@alisonhammond4662]

Just found you amidst psi..bordering on asi..binge watching death stories..completely numb..thank you for all your videos..im not sure where today will go..but watching you so hopefully its up..❤ from Australia

[@LaceyMad]

I can’t tell you how helpful this video was! I’m right in the thick of it the last few days with car repairs, teenage angst/aggro and Xmas to do list getting longer! Thank you thank you ✌️💜🇬🇧 I don’t feel so alone!😬

[@elizabethwhite8684]

The bad days/weeks you are describing, has been my life for the past 5 years. And major things too not little stuff. Car accident causing all kinds of physical problems, so loss of health, loss of job, loss off home, loss of my church, loss of my friends, loss of my relationship. I don’t see the point in anything. And I’m tired. But I just keep doing all the normal stuff feeling dead inside. I look normal from the outside. I have used to question who do I want to be, and keep being her, so at least I don’t feel bad about who I am.

[@kim123282]

Thank for this. I used to feel disconnected. Did not feel real. Or did not feel who I was or how I was me. I never expected to live past 20 with my mental illness. Now I am 65. Wow

[@hardasnails11b]

Hearing your introduction for this episode I’ve stopped and come straight to the comments with a prediction on what you’re going to say. As one who constantly observes I’ll keep it to myself, now, until I hear the rest of the video. It’s weirdly exciting to anticipate what you’re going to say. Let’s see if I am right…

[@moongoddess8568]

This meant more to me than I can express right now. Thank you. You have followed the right calling, Sir. 🙏🏼

[@scattered-idea]

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I really needed a change of mindset! Thank you

[@chbaum9483]

I like your content, especially because it is so personal and relatable. It can also help to prepare yourself for those moments you are describing in this video. I practice a ritual every day in the morning. "Welcome day, I chose you with all that you may bring." I must say it makes it easier to handle difficult situations and to find my own options for action.

[@indy18286]

found you randomly .... thank you for being so real!! instead of textbook therapy!!! 💯💗💓

[@kerryarseneau9588]

I promise you, your videos speak to me. I am in a spiral now. I push through and push through until I can't do it anymore. I am so tired of trying to be strong and keep it together. Thank you for being so honest and transparent. I bought your book, I haven't been able to start it but I will.

[@baliliketheisland]

Awesome video! Blaming everyone is easier than see the fact; You are the only one who can change his own life, no one else..

[@rmac2489]

Thank you so much for these videos. I am going through a struggle right now and I have felt like I am going under but your insights, honesty and kindness are giving me hope and a different way to look at things. Thank you 😊

[@lisamiller4833]

Thanks for your honest sharing. I actually laughed out loud over your relating your story of challenges. Only because similar stuff has happened to me and I could so relate to it. Life throws us plenty of curve balls! I'm coming off a ten week bender of mental lows and occasionally leveling off. Some days actually take an inventory of all the BS going on and laugh and shake my head. In the middle of this ran across your podcasts. You've helped me so much! I won't go into my long sad story. But acknowledging it is improvement, instead of minimising it and criticizing myself for not dealing with it better which has kept me stuck. Lost my best friend, who I could honestly share with and had many challenges in common with me and we helped each other keep a better perspective, suddenly two days ago. I'm grateful that her husband called and told me since he knew we were close. He, as my husband suffers dementia so never know what they'll think of... they both have good days. And bad. Keeping up with their hairbrained ideas to at least attempt to avoid disasters was one of the challenges we both faced and not going crazy in the process and actually laughing about the latest kept us from feeling alone and find some solutions to dealing with the latest of their brilliant ideas. This podcast is timely... thanks again

[@ggstylz]

This is my favourite presentation of yours. As someone with OCD, who know the condition inside out, it’s still a challenge after all these decades for me, when it comes to discernment regarding pushing through and having time out. I’m a fervent push through as much as possible kind of person, but I’ve also needed to be this way, through my practice of ERP in order to manage my OCD. Having said all that, I do give myself permission to throw in the towel sometimes. Taking on too much and constantly wanting to push through (especially because of not wanting to feel guilty for not doing so) can also take its toll as well, and often end up burning out. Wanting balance is understandable, being desperate to achieve it though can make this more challenging. I appreciate being reminded by your wonderful message, that one can always benefit by getting on with it, especially when not feeling like it. Adopting this mindset is definitely better than not. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to respond with humour every time life gets too much and seems ridiculous. It really does feel satirical at times.

[@MilkToBread]

So I just started reading your book "For when Everything Is Burning" 3 paragraphs into the intro I was sobbing. I got on kindle unlimited but ordering a hard copy because it hits that hard...in the best possible way. Thank you ❤

[@angelabrown8458]

I’m sorry about your goldfish, truly. 😢

[@Ellendil12]

I'm turning 30 at the end of this year. There is nothing in my life that I could be proud of, and almost everything to be ashamed of, or guilty, or whatever. I do not know if I've ever been alive at this point. I do not know who I am, what is wrong with me, or whether I should be blaming myself or someone else for this miserable hell I am in. I pretty much lost the last 10 years of my life. Not working, not studying, not anything. Just locked in my head, unable to do anything with my life. Nothing to look forward to, except to the End.

[@LeeBerache]

1. I am so sorry for the loss of your goldfish 😢 (and the lost money, and the lost vacation, and the injury). 2. OMG, I SOOOOO needed to hear this today!! Thank you!!

[@jojo1960uk]

Thank you. Your sharing your thoughts has been incredibly helpful, especially the realisation that we simply can't do with ease some of the things unaffected people can do without a second thought. Acceptance of oneself is so important. Pulling those gems out of my tumble dryer of a brain has helped stop me punishing myself for not being able to overcome some of the problems caused by CPTSD and depression. Thank you again ❤

[@glitterandducttape]

Dr. Scott I tried this strategy last night and it worked!!! My anxiety was so bad all day because of built up stress from the last couple of weeks. I was ready to just put off everything that needed to get done and do it next week. Then I came across your video. It really worked! I watch your videos daily. You're helping me so much. Thank you so much for the work you're doing. You are a blessing. Peace to you and your family. 🙏🏼

[@solsticio3]

Easier said than done. Sometimes I feel really positive: this is it, this is not going to affect me anymore, I can move on, I can leave this in the past, o can be a better version of myself. Every single therapy and video I have seen is like a fuel to me, but then the pain is back, and I am swallowed to the nightmares. Some times you cannot get out of this spiral. I don't know what else to do anymore.

[@cynthiamarston2208]

I found getting used to it somewhat helpful. Kinda no choice! But I respond to that lighting for seasonal effect disorder. The right kind is at Home Depot for example. It talks about 10000000 ……whatevers brightness and the UV thing. Research those aspects real quickly. I paid $35. It’s great. I wish I had a link for you. Don’t be discouraged for lack of results because a few doctors said it isn’t every bodies solution….

[@kelvinminja5721]

Experiencing this rn.. it's among the most awful feeling one can have

[@eps4560]

Tell all those negative feelings to "fuk off" or " I. ..... disagree" I am not kidding. Their not yours. Don't agree to keep them. ❤

[@Eserr7856]

Have you ever taken anti- depressants? If not, its worth taking to a doctor about. Also speaking to a licensed counselor. Watching videos online can only help us so much. Best of luck to you

[@FG-ie7cu]

I think there is also the feeling that Why should I become stronger just to keep doing crap I don't want to do with people I don't like? I'm trying to find things I really want to do and ditching life habits and people that I've carried for decades. You're not going to want to try unless there's something you want to do. I also think that sometimes the pain hits so hard that you really DO have to curl up in a ball, but while there think, If I knew I was going to die next week, what would I want to hurry up and do first? Like, shoot, I really DID want a motorcycle, or I really DID want to open my own Etsy shop. I want to quit using what energy I *can* scrape together for people and things that shove me back down or bore me to death. "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities." --Stephen Covey

[@beautifulblackbeauty8641]

You have become part of my daily support system. Many many thanks for all your videos😘

[@lisaalexander1824]

You just hit me...i want to go back..to my old self..carefree, fit, healthy, hot..THATS my trouble...not envisioning a good future..at 67, im old fat and wise..but i dont like myself..i let myself go..being on zoloft for 25 years, held in complacency.. ive had moments..but homeless and stressed is now taking its toll

[@davidyates8457]

Dr Scott I have added you to my list of people/things I am most grateful for.

[@shirleyfrost9909]

I love you, Dr. Scott. I could be your mother, in fact, wish I were. You've helped me So much. My life is falling apart and this has helped me on a new path. God bless u and yours