THIS VIDEO WILL GIVE YOU CONFIDENCE

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[@Alex-cw3rz]

At work in my urban planning department everyone wears suits and office wear, but one women always come in, in leggings and a camo hoodie, she was one of the friendliest and most confident people I've ever met. Yet one day this beacon of confidence comes up to me to talk about how nervous she is about a meeting, how awkward it will be when she has to speak, it was a mundane meeting as well, I was shocked. But it made me realise anxiety, awkwardness it's something we all experience no matter how confident. So you should never feel shameful for feeling awkward or having anxiety and the aim is to reduce the levels to were it doesn't effect your everyday.

[@micha0585]

do you recommend urban planning as a job? was planning on studying it

[@Alex-cw3rz]

@@micha0585 yep, you get a good wage and at the top a great wage. At my place it's such a friendly work place. It's just you need to think about what you want to do, because at the starting level. Your obviously not planning neighbourhoods or anything and doing architecture would get you to that level much quicker although the blocks will already be mapped out for you.

[@saudade7842]

@@Alex-cw3rz What would you recommend studying? Because I've been wanting to get into the career but I'm unsure of what classes to take in college

[@usernamesmatter]

I swear I’ve seen this exact sentence somewhere else on the internet, is this a copypasta?

[@Alex-cw3rz]

@@saudade7842 I'm from the UK and our university system works completely differently from my knowledge. Here what you do is you do a masters in Urban Planning (legislation politics side) or Urban design which is self explanatory or you do an undergraduate degree in almost whatever, for design it's better to go for a degree where you can give a portfolio of work to them, and then you a do a conversion course which is just one extra year to get your masters degree in planning of design. Then you are a graduate planner and then you go to do 2 years in industry to become a chartered planner. Most places their courses aren't just plain planning, it will be international planning, spatial development, sustainable development etc. It'll be in the planning section of whichever uni you look it's courses. As long as they do it. That's the best I can give not being from the USA.

[@MarkSoupial]

The trick is, if you feel uncomfortable looking at someone's eyes, make the other person feel MORE uncomfortable by looking into their eyes longer; make it a contest.

[@MsScarletwings]

“Only prey animals fear being stared at, ASSERT DOMINANCE”

[@PinkBlue_Spood]

I like this method more.

[@dannyguy2008]

This never works because people don’t want to hang around someone who makes social interactions staring contests or dominance battles. Vaush is just so wrong.

[@JackCipherCreations]

I unironically think holding myself like Gustavo Fring has helped me a LOT in terms of being firm but polite to people even when i find them difficult. The meth empire was optional, but I like to go method. Just think of a character with a demeanor you find admirable. You don't have to admire the character, just their confidence.

[@henriquesoares7893]

Please, put down the box cutter

[@JackCipherCreations]

@@henriquesoares7893 Get back to work. :-)

[@DimentioCorp]

In a world with Rick Sanchez This is stochastic terrorism

[@carlwheezer2766]

But don't act like an anime character

[@hydrophobicbathtowel6816]

Hannibal Lector. (the television series version) its gotta help with confidence to know you could stop being polite at any moment and just do some murder instead.

[@samu9601]

I just started to practise keeping eye contact with people and i realized i never really knew what some peoples faces looked like bc i would always quickly look away. Shit blew my mind

[@KillerPigMonkey]

It's why shy peeps always be crushing on me more. 😎 They don't ever get a look at my face. 😭

[@PinkBlue_Spood]

Every time I practice eye contact, it makes me feel worse about it. I’ll start making myself uncomfortable and wondering how long is too long, and trying to assure I’m still blinking, lmfao. Then, others staring at me also begins to make me feel uncomfortable. It baffles me how people can look at another person so much. I could look at a single plant for hours, but, eye contact is a couple of seconds max.

[@QT5656]

Asking a question can make you look stupid for a minute but never asking questions will make you stupid for a lifetime.

[@cael87]

On the last point: Confidence is being secure in just being you, arrogance is a lack of any introspection into the matter. It's a balancing act, but they are two different things. They just interact on a very deep level and can appear the same due to it. Empathy and introspection are the tools that help us temper our confidence to make it a healthy thing.

[@QT5656]

I generally agree. Confidence and arrogance are two different things. Arrogance is generally due to closed mindedness. I don't think "just being you" is the best definition of confidence. Just being you could mean acting on impulses a d prejudice without any second thought which isn't always a good thing. Also confidence isn't necessarily absence of insecurity - it can be control of insecurity.

[@fivedollarcookies7526]

It's funny because not only is eye contact considered rude in different cultures, it's also seen as a form of aggression among primates and other animals.

[@MsScarletwings]

Humans are kinda weirdly unique in that we sometimes reward and enforce eye contact among each other. The only other exceptions I can think of are the slow blink gesture cats will give trusted friends and family as a sign of affection, but virtually no other species tolerate sustained eye contact or being stared at very well. The best I’ve ever managed (as someone with adhd) is to feel neutral about it and to do it as a social obligation, but I really can’t fathom why it’s seen as a necessary positive social behavior to just keep looking at someone’s eyes through most of any conversation. My default is to goance between their forehead and their lips to understand them better if I’m not already glancing around at stuff behind them. Maybe I draw in a lot of autistic friends because of that.

[@boldandbrash1990]

I wonder if that's part of the reason autistic people are basically hardwired to avoid eye contact. It's something I didn't even realize I did until I was told that I was being rude.

[@h4724-q6j]

@@MsScarletwings Regarding the slow blink thing, I always saw that as a deliberate acknowledgement of *broken* eye contact to signal trust.

[@Warsmith_The]

Social interaction isn't the hard part. The hard part is dealing with the drive home afterwards, when one's brain goes over every perceived mistake one has committed.

[@miley1496]

As a woman with Klippel Feil syndrome (this condition affected my appearance, spine growth, height and I'm not conventionally attractive) I sorta disagree with Vaush. I do think confidence matters, especially for average people, but once you start having certain disadvantages that put you below average it can get to a point where your disadvantages won't let your confidence work as well, and the bigger the disadvantage the worse it will be. The halo effect is a real thing that can work against people. It's not a simple as saying confidence is all you need, I've seen both men and women get mistreated for their appearance when they are perceived as not attractive. Since I have KFS I've seen how people treat me for my appearance, no matter how much I hold up my chin, try to be positive or confident, some disadvantages can overpower confidence in peoples eyes. Another example is I have a transgender friend who get mistreated for being short (most trans men are short). My friend who's 4'10 with confidence could fair better than a 4'10 guy with no confidence, but that window is still going to be very small compared to a guy of average height, and he is still going to deal with bullying, micro-aggressions, gender/height dysphoria etc. I think it's important to not dismissing peoples experiences, and Vaush seems to underplay his advantages, he's about average looking, above average height. I'm not saying you have to be some super model, but most people are average in the end of the day, so I think the blow back of being below average is much harsher than the blow back of not being above average because at least most people expect average.

[@frieza3843]

Sorry you have to deal with tall that. I agree I think Vaush is downplaying how looking below average can affect someones life and sometimes the advice of "Just be confident bro" is oversimplifying and kind of gaslighting the real experiences people go through and I think he's downplaying himself, he's ok looking to be honest and he can loose weight at least if he's calling himself ugly for being overweight. I can admit I am born with a certain amount of privilege in the looks department, when compared to some of my friends I can see how we are treated differently, and it's not fair how you are treated. I hope your day gets better and thank you for sharing.

[@spongebobdrippants9030]

I can understand where you are coming from. I'm a cancer surviver and I had cancer during my teen years which stunted my growth, and because of this I am now a short adult when I was projected to be tall if it wasn't for cancer. Life is very hard as a shorter man, and a lot of times people simplify or undermine or even dismiss my experiences so I feel you on that, and you actually explain my observations in a way that makes sense so thanks.

[@strappinggermanlad]

I understand that people are derisive when it comes to below-average looking people and that sucks, but I wouldn’t say that makes confidence unnecessary, unhelpful or counterproductive.. and I also think confidence shouldn’t come from your looks primarily.. confidence is even more important in that case I would say, not in the sense of self-delusion, but in the sense that you know that people have value no matter their looks, gender, ability or age. There are many things that can make you a valuable person to others besides being nice to look at but even if you just slack off all day not contributing to society and not harming others you have a right to feel good and your life is valuable. If anybody disagrees with this last statement you can disregard that person as a Nazi because that is literally how they thought (i.e. people with mental disabilities were sent to deathcamps because they couldn’t provide value (and thus didn’t have value) in the eyes of the Nazis). TLDR: people shouldn’t just be judged and in turn judge themselves on their looks. the earnest confidence that comes from knowing that you do in fact have value can help below-average-looking people (or really anyone with social disadvantages) deal with the harsher circumstances better and lead a happier and fulfilled life in accordance with their own values, in my opinion. So I‘m not saying „confidence is all you need“ or that nothing will affect you ever if you have confidence, but I just think disregarding confidence completely due to harsher life circumstances won’t be to anyone‘s benefit.

[@The_Sleepiest_Socialist]

I’m a short guy who gets treated quite well. Does this mean I am handsome? I hope so.

[@pastamondays1712]

I think the tennis metaphor is good because it’s actually a viable circumstance. Like, I can imagine some 8th grader freaking out in gym class because they’ve never played tennis and they have to play against their crush. But, if this hypothetical young person just keeps their cool and tries to have fun, they’ll come off looking a lot better and may even break the ice

[@vaylard9474]

I don't really see the parallel. First of all, in the analogy the subject is very young, which some folks who have to take advice from streamers on how to have sex are very much not. Secondly, there is no social stigma attached to being bad at tennis past a certain age, and it's generally considered a dick move to be hard on newbies in sports, while shaming people for poor sexual performance is like its own genre of comedy at this point.

[@KillerPigMonkey]

@@vaylard9474 This is very much a sub-culture thing. Shaming virgins, is usually just a snide or indirect way of making fun of their looks or demeanor. I lost my Virginity at 24 and was never made fun of for being a virgin. This is mostly anecdotal evidence, but it was because I was attractive and actively dating. I'm semi-demi and never wanted to have casual hookups, or have sex too early in any of my relationships. More often than not, the point of shaming virgins is to either hurt their self-imagine or as Voosh mentioned a way in which people try to deflect attention from themselves and their own insecurity over sex. Also, this whole thing was aimed at a people who are very socially awkward and/or autistic. It's often easier to relate big complicated feelings socially anxious peeps have towards their issues to a simpler and sometimes nostalgic time period for them. Because it helps build their confidence that the problem is so simple to get over that is exists in the realm of those younger than you. The advice wasn't aimed at younger folks struggling to have sex, but to those whom the feeling of being a middleschooler playing tennis for the first time is relatable to their anxiety over performance that they can use to boost their confidence when they finally find a partner.

[@pastamondays1712]

@@vaylard9474 there may not be a certain stigma regarding being good at a particular sport. However there is a stigma around not being athletic, and this goes well beyond being young. It definitely tapers off as you get older but plenty of middle aged folks are super insecure about their physical ability. This goes for sports, sex, even just basic physical capabilities. A thirty year old man in good health is more likely to be found attractive than a 30 year old man of the same build that needs a cane to walk. However, just like in the tennis example, confidence is the trump card. If the thirty year old man in good health is super insecure about himself, and the man who needs a cane is comfortable with himself, then the latter is generally going to come off more attractive.

[@brokencannon9174]

Honestly part of this imo is our simplifying the concept of love. The ancient greeks had multiple different types of love and only 1 was explicitly erotic. Love of self and love of friends is somthin that needs to come back into fashion

[@wokencs330]

based ancient greek sociology take

[@screamingphoenix8113]

I just want the subway sandwich artist to listen to me when I say I want extra cucumbers.

[@qwertyqwerty-ek7dy]

I - I'd like e - extra cu - cum cu - cum cu - cu - cucum extra cu - cucumb... *Turns 180 around and speedruns away

[@guy3480]

The cucumbers man. They took em all away. Why?!

[@butHomeisNowhere___]

​@@qwertyqwerty-ek7dylmao 😂

[@bragunetzki]

2:42 Vaush's glasses clip back into reality as he skips an animation due to bad coding

[@Alex-cw3rz]

I do think it is learning thing as well, if you do feel like this very often one way is to try and bridge that gap with mini conversation when shopping or especially at work. Not just asking what's the time, but remarking on something, short and sweet. This can then build up your confidence. I was socially awkward until a while after I got a job as a teenager, the constant social interaction with strangers. It allowed you to become more confident in the conversations you have and your ability to think off the cuff. You will still have awkward situations but they mean so much less and you have much less possibility to blame yourself.

[@hydrophobicbathtowel6816]

Im a guy who knits. I started knitting in public places to help with social anxiety and it has always worked as a conversation starter. All I have to do is sit and knit and someone will inevitably come over and show genuine interest in what I'm doing and who I am.

[@verager2493]

2:41 when you're so confident you materialize glasses...

[@Alex-cw3rz]

I think also when the irrational feelings come in that, the other person must think you're a twat, think of it from another perspective, in a way that someone came up to you and did what you had done. Even if it was awkward it was awkward that's it, you'd forget about it in a few minutes. Then work on ways to improve it what would have made it less awkward for you and apply it in your next social interaction.

[@frostbite3318]

I know this is a common thing in younger kids ie high school but I assumed everyone grew past this phase where they think everyone is thinking about them

[@ryanclaerhout9856]

@@frostbite3318 not everyone. If they experience it too much, it becomes ingrained. That's basically what social anxiety disorder is. Just constantly worrying about what other people think of you, usually because the person in question had too many negative social experiences in the past where they were judged/ostracized/bullied for their social behaviour, so they end up avoiding social interaction or being skeptical of it in an effort to avoid the harm they experienced from happening again. Yes, normal development would see someone mature out of that but if it becomes disordered then maturity can't do much.

[@AndroidCovenant]

Vaush should give some career advice too. Like how to choose between pursuing your interests vs catering to the demands of the job market.

[@WickedRibbon]

I'm sure Vaush could elaborate, but in my mind this one is pretty simple: If you need to earn a living right now, find an appropriate job and then sacrifice some of your free time to pursue your interests on the side. The sacrifices you make now will hopefully pay off in the long term. If you don't need to earn right now, then make the use of your free time to pursue your interest extensively. Build up the skills to grow in proficiency and stand out among your contemporaries. If you're exceptional at something, people will pay you for it.

[@MindForgedManacle]

@@WickedRibbon this is entirely correct. I'd also add that having a general plan or list of steps to reach your goal - and some kind of schedule to keep you on track - are indispensable.

[@WickedRibbon]

@@MindForgedManacle 🎯

[@yung6290]

do both at the same time. example: be a tech nerd and work as an engineer

[@soccerguy325]

Shoutout to KyaGrim19!! I know I'm not Vaush but I hope your depression gets better!!

[@craigstephenson7676]

Confidence even makes you look more attractive to yourself. I thought I was pretty attractive and then I got rejected lost all my confidence for a while and I was convinced I was ugly

[@jimmymcgill7370]

I don’t care about confidence. All I really want are the food and water rations that I need to survive 😔😔😔😔😔

[@random_h620]

„You want them to look at your feet?“ Dude, I just want you to blink! BLINK for god‘s sake!

[@tec590]

when he was doing the eye contact thing i was actually blushing omegalul

[@frostbite3318]

I remember thinking after finally having sex I would be continually improving but then you realize that bad sex exists everywhere and I can’t escape it

[@bubblebxnes5427]

Vaush, i am autistic and a foot fetishist. looking at my feet is a win/win

[@XQzmeeMusic]

Confidence in my view comes from being comfortable being yourself and proud of what you do and/or are to others.

[@especiallymediocre9711]

I like a lot of what you said but I just have a clarifying question. You said that being friends with someone makes sex better because you have a higher level of investment in making sure they're having a good time than if they were a complete stranger. Wouldn't it follow then that the investment when you're having sex with a romantic partner is even greater? But then you say that you don't think romance makes sex better. I'm just a little confused on that, but I could be misunderstanding what you mean.

[@KwodwoMoore]

I just think he's wrong about that, having a lot of experience to draw from here. Sex is awesome when you're having it with a romantic partner and there's a build up to it. You can get that with a friend too, but the work that is put into creating the romantic atmosphere with a romantic partner does make sex better. It's more work though lol.

[@Blah64]

I do not feel more confident

[@saturationstation1446]

i dont mind making eye contact but i get extremely uncomfortable if people look at my face while im speaking so i just avoid speaking to people as much as i possibly can unless in an environment where wearing a mask is socially acceptable. the pandemic did a lot of good for improving my ability to find and perform retail work for that reason

[@deusdragonex]

They're looking at your face when you speak because they like your face well enough to not look away and they're interested in what you have to say. They desire connection to you in some way, even if it's superficial.

[@Cqrt3r]

I like these videos. I feel like a lot of people deal with confidence problems, but they tend to keep it to themselves.

[@QT5656]

Please appreciate that there a different types of eye contact, e.g. soft eye contact, intense eye contact. If you're trying to build rapport with a new date or friend think about things that make you happy. Be positive but don't try too hard. Give them space. Don't ever make them feel trapped or forced. If you make them laugh a lot - that's a great time to pop to the bathroom - leave them on a high. Don't be afraid to lose them. Attractive people do this stuff naturally.

[@AthenaGate]

Losing a tennis match is not the same as having sex. There are very few consequences to having a tennis match, but having sex, is the opposite.

[@uglycheater]

If confidence is being sure that you belong where you are, should speak up, and that people will listen to you, then it is not something inherently positive. I meet people all the time who don't seem to doubt the validity of their input, and I very much dislike them. It is also behavior that I think strongly relates to toxic masculinity. Thinking that you offer important insight into whatever happens around you is like the foundation of mansplaining. Sometimes you don't belong, sometimes it is not your place to speak up, and sometimes people are justified in not listening to you. A mindset that forbids these thoughts will inevetably lead you to harming others.

[@IAMSONICTH3H3DG3H0G]

NOTHING is inherently positive

[@uglycheater]

@@IAMSONICTH3H3DG3H0G Apart from maybe justice and stuff, but sure. To strenghten that take, confidence as described in the video can just as easily lead to harm as it can to goodness, if not more.

[@IAMSONICTH3H3DG3H0G]

@@uglycheater no, not more. You just need to learn the correct way to apply it and it can help insanely well.

[@uglycheater]

@@IAMSONICTH3H3DG3H0G Well how am I supposed to learn it if I'm should believe I'm already great the way I am? It's a mindset that will always oppose self criticism and improvement

[@IAMSONICTH3H3DG3H0G]

@@uglycheater you can he confident without being over confident. You're acting like this mindset exists in a void, that you'll be confident no matter what. You won't. It doesn't and you won't. I'm a living example of how confidence has helped. It has helped my social life, helped me voice my opinion, helped me deal with toxic people etc. You just need to know when to be confident, and when to reel it back. You're describing what sounds lile narcissism. Not confidence

[@MrGogi4aaa]

On eye contact: you should find the person's dominant eye and stare only at it

[@Athetos861]

Or stare past them toward their eyes, hit them in the forehead with your gaze!

[@darkphoenix2]

I'm not a very spiritual person and I know Vaush isn't, but there's something about our eyes that has an effect on people and I understand why it's uncomfortable for some. You can feel something from making eye contact. I did martial arts for a long time and I learned how to use eye contact to sense and feel your opponent's intent. It sounds like magic but there's just some form of communication we create through our eyes. If you're already awkward with normal communication it makes sense that this deeper, more mysterious effect would be off putting. My advice is try not to master eye contact at first, just get better at normal talking and interacting. Eye contact shouldn't be something you consciously do, it's all about feeling. When you gain confidence in other ways, I think you will naturally make eye contact more organically.

[@adorabell4253]

Not for autistic people. I learned to just stare at peoples eyeballs. Can’t tell the difference from the other end and makes my life easier. Eye contact if overrated.

[@magne7771]

1:59 - _I'm_ not uncomfortable. Your weirdly grey eyes are kinda nice. Reminds me of my cat when she was just a lil bebe

[@annointedbytalos5673]

2:40 vaush Skyrim re-equipping his glasses after you've exhausted his dialogue.

[@verbatim7508]

Rule #1 of giving any sort of advice: When people ask you specifically HOW to do something, do not just say, "Just do it." That's what they're _asking_ how to do. If you can't give a proper answer, you're unqualified to give advice on the matter.

[@Errorcode-hq5wg]

There isn't anything more to add on the topic of eye contact, like what do you expect?

[@ryanclaerhout9856]

Yeah that part was pretty shit, ngl. Like if someone is autistic, of course they should start with what they're comfortable with like using tricks such as looking at their eyebrows or something. You don't just throw someone in a pool and say "well just start swimming". Same thing with any skill. You gotta work up towards it and if that means using shortcuts to start then that's fine. It's a shame vaush didn't acknowledge that.

[@verbatim7508]

​@@Errorcode-hq5wg I don't know, I feel like there's quite a few things you could add. You could tell them to practice giving eye contact with friends and family until they're ready to try it with strangers. Let them know that it's okay to ask these people for feedback on the matter, as well. You could also have them take a step back and understand what it really means to give eye contact-that it's just a way of establishing a connection between you and your interlocuter-and put this in such a way that'll allow them to internalize how truly harmless of an act it really is for everyone involved. You could also try giving these people a tangible reason to give eye contact besides the vague "it makes you look confident" bullshit. Let them know that eye contact makes you look nicer and friendlier, and that people will treat you better because of it. Let them know that looking at someone while you're talking to them gives many conversational advantages. If you're boring someone, you'll know. If you're making someone happy, you'll know (unless you're bad at these things, but that's a different topic). I could go on. I'm not saying these tips are groundbreaking or original, or anything-but they sure as hell beat the shit out of saying "just do it lol"

[@adorabell4253]

@@verbatim7508 as someone on the spectrum I can tell you that just looking at the eyeball is the best advice. People can’t tell when you’re looking into their eyes or just at their eyeball so just choose one and start at it. It won’t work when you’re tired but it does the rest of the time.

[@Silkanaa]

Just teach something to people as a hobby or just on the side for extra money (In my case French and English in Japan), I was very evasive and didn't look people in the eye but HAVING to do it for the purpose of teaching kinda fixed that behaviour. First few lessons were a bit stressful but it magically disappeared.

[@psychd5374]

Doing eye contact makes me think too much of eye contact instead of what they’re actually saying.

[@bridgetweaver2542]

The eye contact is hard, I'm old af and it still kills me

[@Unshackled.Dreamer]

Yea me too! I'm so confused, normal ppl just stare into each others eyes while talking? Seems too sensual for casual interactions 😂

[@bridgetweaver2542]

@@Unshackled.Dreamer I know right?? I feel the same, like look at my feet anything but prolonged eye contact, that is reserved for family only..

[@adorabell4253]

@@Unshackled.Dreamer they really don’t. They’ll hold the contact for a bit then look off then bring it back, the look off, etc. Watch people who sit beside each other talking, they’re almost never looking at each other. So what you want to do is practice staring at an eyeball and then looking away. As with any motor skill you’ll get better the more you practice.

[@ImaginaryMdA]

I watched this twice, so now I have +20 confidence!

[@WarhawkLieutenent]

if you have problem with eye contact just think of the patrick bateman meme

[@bucherregaldomi9084]

I needed this video some 20 years ago. Too late Vaush, too late :'O x'D

[@UnlimitedRadioButNoSoap]

i'm too apathetic to have social anxiety 😎

[@The_Sleepiest_Socialist]

🥴

[@JeanAlexander-dg6kh]

That's called schizoid personality disorder, hello fellow alien

[@djordjetosic4553]

Fuck this, I have thought about needing a small confidence boost and this drops instantly in recommended...

[@QT5656]

It's always useful to have a couple of good stories up your sleeve (that you've practiced telling to a range of people or even in the mirror).

[@JustJanitor]

I enjoyed this video. Very much thank you.

[@hydrophobicbathtowel6816]

It feels like he's looking into my soul and seeing all the memories and thoughts I'm ashamed of.

[@WiloPolis03]

One thing that helps me with panic attacks is focusing on how I'll handle it, *not* focusing on not having them. Half the battle of panic attacks is worrying about having one. That's what contributes to a good chunk of it. Instead, be comforted in the fact that you know how to handle yourself *when* you have heightened anxiety. Feelings are valid, it's all about how you handle them.

[@jf1573]

Good things to do when you have generalized anxiety is taking a walk. actually touch grass, focus on the surface of the grass, smell it and take a deep breath. - I‘m not kidding. Meditation is useful, counting your blessings, keeping a journal and having powerful mantras like amor fati (love fate) or thus, I willed it (having no regrets). Plus, always be aware of the dichotomy of control. What is in your control? (Only your thoughts and actions, right here, right now) - Let go of everything else.

[@Sonophonic]

Got an ad in the middle of the virginity bit that started with 'the right away to top a sub is.." lmao

[@AngryShooter]

I'm not clinically diagnosed with autism but I do think I have a bit of it, every time I look into someone's eyes for longer than 3 seconds there's a voice in my head that says that they'll think I'm flirting with them, even tho I'm not nor wish to do so, it then becomes a distracting/intrusive thought which makes social interaction harder. Only with the people I'm close with, or have a long time friendship, this doesn't happen.

[@chriswhrtn]

bitcrushed fade in triggered me in ways i couldnt comprehend

[@yannizo]

2:42 Okay, how did he do that?

[@ceraphi717]

I used to really struggle with anxiety, but getting a job and quitting college early and just practicing having free time and being relaxed and doing calm things has been a huge help. recently ive been having a bit of a flare back up, and ive been learning to paint flowers as a nice extra calming hobby to make time for now and then

[@arcvigaming8198]

Wait. So can you really only look at one eye? Does it really look like you're looking at both? I'm genuinely curious...

[@AceTheWorrior]

Hey, I just had a great splendid marvelous weekend with friends at a gathering and I can say, that I agree with what Vaush said on being overwhelmed. I had a few times there I needed some minutes alone and went outside and set alone before it became to much and had lots of energy to go back in. I didnt need the advice for the weekend I learned that about me around a decade back but I think its generally a good advice. Hope other people agree here. Exceptions may exist.

[@Piratewaffle43]

As someone on the spectrum, eye contact used to be a lot harder for me, but it gets easier with practice. It's like exposure therapy.

[@MusicMissionary]

Fake it till you make it works with this issue. Not on the spectrum just a serious introvert who was bullied. I spent 20 years as a newspaper reporter and I HAD to learn how to deal with people, look them in the eyes, put them at ease etc. I had to interview them and get my stories done on a deadline. I got to like it. You kinda create a persona for yourself.

[@QT5656]

2:07 Vaush giving off some Ron Swanson vibes 😂

[@almosthelpless9374]

If I fail at a difficult social interaction, I just grind and level up so I can try again. I just need more dexterity.

[@rikospostmodernlife]

That's nice but your ASIs should be in CHA, not DEX unless your primary way of seeking socialization is through asmr build videos

[@laffy7204]

2:08 Here, take my wallet!

[@veagle1379]

it didn't

[@sadisticgirl_]

How can you have confidence when have anxiety? Mostly anxiety about the future and how can I deal with it ..

[@EasyWater]

I'm the one throwing the rack on the ground when I do badly in my first game 😔

[@carsondubs]

2:06 John Goodman jump-scare

[@burtcocain1986]

This last weekend I was at a family wedding where I only knew a few cousins and my aunties/uncles. There were loads of people whom I didn't know - I'd arrived alone. Anyway, I took out my phone and tried to write what was going on poetically. Like if writing a song, or notes for a song I could write later to remember the feeling of isolation and nervousness. I was able to leave the panicked state, then I was able to just chat casually to the nice people around me.

[@skno315]

I think many of my problems would be easier to solve or maybe not exist if I were confident. Working on it 😎

[@llpolluxll]

Looking someone in the eye for longer than a brief moment increases testosterone and looking back after you both look away is a confidence move. If you practice this, you may notice that most people look away immediately and will avoid looking again.

[@agentzapdos4960]

"No homo" makes me think of that Lonely Island song by the same title.

[@MusicMissionary]

Just noticed the kitty scratches on your chair lol. Bad kitties.

[@robbiekop7]

Cats 🐱 love 💘 leather chairs 😫

[@elderlord5164]

People who are antisocial are very confident.

[@loredragonwrites7673]

Vaush is 100% right about having women as friends. I would never have married my wife if she wasn't also my best friend.

[@KomeRad]

Isn't the availability of having female friends hugely determined by culture?

[@TrebleStarcrush]

This video isn’t sissy hypno r34.

[@joshuaijaola2145]

Bro what-

[@FishfaceTheDestroyer]

I mean, you're not incorrect.

[@djungelskog9581]

I hate when Vaush looks into the camera please make it stop

[@saturationstation1446]

im confident that no one wants me to be alive lol

[@dragunov815]

What a surprise.

[@bjboom01]

*anything

[@calmkat9032]

6:09 Saving this for later :)

[@lurkingposter]

The close up should of slowly zoomed in over time. Missed opportunity by the editor.

[@vo4313]

Above confidence is charisma, in my opinion. Some confidence can be off putting unless coupled with some charisma.. that's the vibe to embody. ✨

[@vo4313]

I am a trans man, mildly autistic and wildly ADHD. I'm kind of simultaneously great and awful in social situations depending on a variety of circumstances. The thing is, I'm pretty certain I'd be a MASTER debater. And it's kind of an untapped market, I think, unless... Does anyone know of a transgender man who's been in this political sphere? I see a lot of trans women in these debates but never a trans man. I need the confidence to fulfill my dream of becoming a master debater. Anyone have some advice?

[@peolt]

I don't rly know of any popular trans men in the debate sphere or broader online political sphere so I agree that its an untapped market, also the confidence to do any action even if its affected by outside factors ultimately comes from the trust in yourself. If you want to become a master debater make yourself familiar with your topics, practice saying your points without stuttering and using filler words, and then if you think you're ready then go start debating while trusting all of the effort you put to get there.

[@vo4313]

@@peolt one of the things I love about Vaush is his ability to dissect someone else's argument down to it's rudimentary parts and say it back to them using clever metaphors to point out the flaws in logic. I'm reasonably good at this too, but I'm not sure I could be as quick witted with it. That's definitely going to take some practice haha.. tyvm for the encouragement. 🤙

[@qtoelke6208]

Bruh my like entire perception is so fucked up. I swear I like cant act normally (like myself) around people. I either act all like obnoxious and loud (all the while screaming at myself in my head) or i just shut down and dont do anything. I got out of a lowkey abusive relationship where she would always tell me that I am annoying and stuff, and that super rubbed off on me. I have a ton of stuff going for me, but I just cant translate it. I also like, watched too much porn and that super fucked me up especially w girls.

[@DarthScrewtape27]

I’ve been watching Vaush for years, I like him. To me he looks like a normal person.

[@ryanb5127]

This video actually has a lot of decent advice

[@hansuluthegrey8524]

Jordan Peterson arc baby

[@smolmoru]

hot take: if people(allos in particular) would put less value in romantic/sexual interactions/relationships, they would be by default more confident in that area and also more compfortable with talking with the gender they're attracted to as well as how they look. take it from an aroace who pre realizing that was extremely self-conscious selfhating and had zero confidence. thanks to losing the amount of importance I saw in having a romantic/sexual partnership killed all of those insecurities instantly and turns out according to friends and family I'm someone people like to be around now, compared to before. allos, don't let this outright stupid hyping up partnership as the highest goal ever replace all your confidence with fear. just be you and true to yourself and people will accept you. those who don't deserve your attention in the first place anyway

[@goodvibestv5380]

My problem is I get lost in peoples eyes

[@kyramonnix1520]

staring into my soul dude ._.

[@cezariusus7595]

I did that and got beaten. Vaush's advice caused me harm. Where do I sue? ;))

[@ianalexander7267]

The thumbnail threw me off hard

[@BlueMonkeySky]

I LOVE Vaush. I just do. 😊♥️👍🏻

[@matthaynes3219]

Every second from 2:08 from 2:42 was the worst ever. 10/10 Content

[@TheShawnSolo]

Lmfao the vaush zoom stare then he turns back to the monitor and he suddenly has glasses again. Prime entertainment.

[@supremecalamitas342]

nah charisma is a dump stat

[@0osamboo0]

Why tell people with autism to force eye contact if they're uncomfortable? Kinda just sounds like masking. I've made so many friends by (if safe) disclosing my neurodivergence and what they can expect. It's really hard to make and keep friends if you're putting all your energy into masking, as well as there being a deficit to personal authenticity. I believe there's a benefit in challenging your autistic traits, perhaps with people you feel comfortable with. Although imo you really have to do the work. I think diving head first into making direct eye contact is a recipe for being quickly overwhelmed. It's important to recognise your hard limits and boundaries, then have the self care to respect those regardless of neurotypical/wider societal expectations

[@lightningmonky7674]

Does confidence really literally make you look physically more attractive in girls eyes? That is just strange from my perspective cause I'd find a girl who was shy or boisterous to have no bearing in her physical appearance?

[@will.2155]

I got adhd which makes it really difficult for me to focus on a conversation and a person at the same time. For eye contact I usually just tell people I have a really difficult time focusing on both at the same time and then show I’m engaged in other ways

[@miguelconamor6687]

Vaush HealthyGamerGG arc?

[@KillerPigMonkey]

Finding aexual relationships after college becomes more difficult, because it requires you actually going out and occasionally touching grass. Also, advertising yourself is exhausting. I'd rather just play some video games and nap. If I had any energy outside of that, I'd use it advocating for the dismantling the facist regime rising in the US.

[@FakefulandDisgracedSlaveClass]

Chasing and fighting imaginary enemies is a loser life.