The Curse Of Being A "Gifted" Student

[@ferminalvarado9936]

When being ‘smart’ is your whole identity and you feel no one is going to take you seriously anymore if you lose that.

[@aubriethegreat8175]

Literally this happened to me. I wasn't "smart" anymore pretty much starting in 6th or 7th grade and it absolutely CRUSHED me.

[@yay5014]

Honestly yes. When I moved to a new country everything changed for me. Where I was, I could "lay back" and have understood most what I was tought but when I moved, the school system was different, the students were so smart. I couldn't be at the top of my classes as I used to and I felt like a shit person all together. I started learning things (writing, drawing etc) to try to find something I'm good at, If things went down. But my dream jobs always had to do with math, science and such, so failing that and screwing over really scared me. Right now, I'm pretty mediocre and i hope to be better soon.

[@art1stwannabe]

Very true,I always feel like I just got stupid over night : |

[@saso5096]

yes, like when you always got As and then break down crying for getting a B because you studied so hard...

[@sunflower_crow7169]

Yep ✌🏾😩

[@youtheverlasting9114]

I remember reading till I finished a book in less than a day. Now it’s a miracle I even pick up a book.

[@nataliaruiz4497]

Or staying up for hours because the plot had me on my toes

[@joridi]

What’s a book

[@cynd.9029]

Oh god same 😭

[@sanriohaechan667]

same. i stopped reading after i got my phone and i can barely comprehend anything now

[@uglybiscuit1828]

Im a fast reader but I only really understand books i can have in my hand and not on computer, they basically sepreate us i felt like a dumb shit for not getting in the gifted class now in highschool i have a iep, and im in visual art 2 painting barely any of those gifted kids are in 2nd level art or they arent unqiue anymore

[@marie-clairerashid2136]

The feeling dumb when you dont understand something is SO real. I remember crying, sobbing and pulling out my hair in stress and disbelief when i didnt understand my homework in elementary

[@urgrandma8564]

this hit me on a whole nother level

[@emilyb.8219]

I have nieces and a nephew in elementary school and it makes me so sad to think that could happen to them too. Especially my one niece who reads way above her kindergarten grade level.

[@pokelover02]

Same! I remember running away sobbing and locking myself in my room when I couldn't understand my math homework in elementary. To this day, the word "stupid" is the worst insult someone can ever say to me. I react terribly to it 😅

[@iamveryconfusedabout]

I agree, I've always had trouble when teachers explain things to me (I'm really only good and learning visually, so explanations of things were supposed to do don't work out very well for me) and I literally cried in class (in 4th grade) because I thought I was stupid for not understanding what to do

[@globalsinister7832]

Oh dude same here. I am having trouble with this myself right now. I was a "gifted" student and still technically am. I thought everything was easy in primary school but then I started developing insecurities about my intelligence. In highschool now I cant raise my hand for help without feeling everyone judging me how dumb I am. I also have always had G.A.D, social anxiety, and had depression

[@leilasperry1175]

I never realized how being “gifted” affected me until I decided I wanted to try out volleyball and went to volleyball camp to work on my skills. Because I was alway the top of my class and close to the top in my state academically, I expected to be the best at volleyball as well but quickly realized my talent didn’t transfer over. I came home from the camp crying a couple times because I couldn’t instantly master a skill but in the end I was really proud of myself as I realized it was the first time I had actually been challenged by something and didn’t quit.

[@piranhaz]

I got accepted to a gifted school in middle school, but i pretty mutch flunked barely keeping afloat, i always feel stupid now taking normal classes and not ap or Ib i honestly feel fucking stupid now, but ive mosted gotten over it

[@eve_______]

@@piranhaz yeah ib is hell

[@flamingaish]

I feel so useless now

[@lindaragsdale6958]

Academics agree set up for righted people, but sports and the arts are easily succeeded by left handed or ambi- dextrous.

[@theoldpea1]

Same, I get that with a lots of activities I try. It leads me to give up on a lot of fun things

[@singtalklaughli8999]

I didn't realize how much I was scared of being "average" until you brought that up. Like, the fact that that's actually scary to me, is so messed up

[@chihabgm7796]

thats weird. im average and im cool with it.

[@chihabgm7796]

@Spacedoutdolphin well, i was considered smarter than my classmates in my elementary years since i got all the questions correct. but i slowly adapted into average. i don't know about you, but those little things don't affect me that much so yea.

[@rottingsword]

Sing Talk Laugh Li I know right! I hid most of my test results from classmates because my 75% math grades made me feel like I didn’t belong in my gifted group. I came across a person in my gifted group who also struggled heavily because we both saw other people do better then us who were labeled “average”. Her and I became over achievers and did more work but with worse quality.

[@alexmun7391]

Sing Talk Laugh Li all I’ve ever been labeled as is “smart,perfect,advanced” but now that I’m not that, I don’t know what I am

[@averystratton]

Me too, I literally can only make myself feel better if I don't excel at something immediately by telling myself that at least I'm better than average (even though I'm not). Like I suck at driving but "at least I'm better than most people my age!!"

[@ilikechez5775]

When you mess anything up, people give you odd looks that clearly say "you're supposed to be smart"

[@vivaciousmyosotis]

I like chez exactly.

[@artyartart9740]

I get that a lot

[@artyartart9740]

Like people say it out loud, to my face

[@ilikechez5775]

@@artyartart9740 SAMEEEEE

[@vivaciousmyosotis]

Arty Art Art oof me too

[@quavy5348]

I have genuinely said to myself and others, "I used to be smart but that's gone" Because I was "gifted" and now I'm average, I feel like I'm an incompetent idiot.

[@zaraandrews600]

I completely understand that feeling. I struggled badly with Further Mathematics at AS Level and decided to change to do two year's worth of Geography in one year. I felt like I was an idiot as I had worked so hard to try and improve at maths and got nowhere. Then at the end of the second year I had to go through clearing to get a university as I did badly in Geography. I felt like I was beyond an idiot then as I had really loved Geography.

[@lazycleaning9987]

I was gifted/smart child in my school and college even in my job. After marriage everything changed. I resigned my job and went to usa with my husband. He always discouraged me and made me feel like I am a dumb. I am completely depressed bcoz I am not getting the same praise like before.

[@mardeeshack]

Literally same

[@nathandu6594]

I was in elementary and I was so smart my teacher considered skipping me a grade. I was so nervous going to a higher grade class for a day that i just didn’t talk at all and had to stay on my current grade. I look back at how i had the biggest opportunity. I am now a failed asian boy with a 3.7 GPA . I consider myself average in general and below average in asian standards. I am kinda sad and i know I will not get accepted to any good colleges.

[@pastellepastary577]

When i was grade school, i used to be considered really smart but now, my mom always calls me stupid even when im younger than the entire grade level lmao

[@artwork_wishes2638]

The sad thing about this is that average scoring people can be proud of like an 80% and some of these "gifted" kids get a 98% and are incredibly disappointed and sometimes even start crying bc they feel so much stress to be perfect

[@nancyblockcolsky1387]

Yeah

[@5soda]

Can relate, if I don't score a good grade, my mom will slap me, probably call me a shit and take my cellphone away

[@makya]

In 8th grade, I was in core math and I remember being so ashamed to admit that I was bad at something. On one test, I had a breakdown and cried for a good hour because I didn't understand the questions. I thought that if I couldn't understand CORE math, I MUST be stupid, even though most of my other classes were advanced. Even in normal skills aside from school... I can't tell you how many times I cried because I wasn't immediately the best at something. It's hard man

[@keelyforevaa]

When I was in fourth grade I got a 98% on a writing assignment. I know fourth grade doesnt matter much in your college and stuff but since i was a "gifted" student I cried so hard about it after school.

[@simrasheik4909]

The self pressure is more than what they may or may not get from the outside world

[@mariannamariano5036]

The fun thing about being "gifted" is that high grades don't mean anything and are just routine and average grades crush you down to the ground make you doubt your entire identity.

[@pulatelephonics]

Fr. I still don’t even know what an average grade is supposed to be

[@anelenav]

You nailed the feeling :’)

[@bigbooler8926]

I would feel bad about getting less than 85

[@mariannamariano5036]

I'm sorry that all of you had to experience this but I'm also selfishly happy that I'm not alone.

[@pulatelephonics]

@@bigbooler8926 yeah

[@suesylvester6456]

1st Grade: 6th grade spelling scores, 5th Grade reading scores, 4th Grade math scores. 10th Grade: No friends.

[@wordart_guian]

11th grade: WTF is happening? Why do people no longer hate me… Am I suddendly having friends??? Why do we have so much in common?? *discovers i was placed in a special class with 70% or 90% gifties*: oh, that might be why. But I shouldn't think that. That's such an elitist thought to have. oh wait...

[@angelstepdad]

literally me.

[@tigercarings]

SHUT UP

[@kenzie0916]

sue sylvester I overheard one of my only friends being told that she acted different around me, then she did around all her other friends and she said “that’s because when I’m with her I’m surrounded by a smart kid and when I’m around you I’m not...” I honestly don’t know how to feel about what she said...

[@flowerrr_06]

My teacher made me think I was better than my peers and pushed me too hard, which caused me to not have any friends throughout all of elementary and middle school. I still have virtually no friends, so now I have to work extra hard on my schoolwork because I don't have anything better to do.

[@sarbird]

fun fact: I was dropped from the gifted program at my elementary school because I developed a slight lisp when I spoke

[@mimisaur5000]

ouch..

[@hb23.]

Sara Hoover oh my god that’s so bad. i had a horrible lisp 2nd-5th grade but i never got kicked. i was able to join with a lisp and leave without one

[@aac_alien]

When I was in 2nd grade, I was in a gifted program and speech therapy at the same time.

[@hb23.]

sastronaut yeah me too!

[@decideonanamedamnit4261]

Ouch

[@isabelled.7732]

My narrative is a little different- I was a gifted girl with undiagnosed ADHD. So I had a lot of people telling me that I was smart but I couldn’t keep up with deadlines, I made dumb mistakes like forgetting my name or skipping questions on tests, and I always thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t reach my “potential.” It wasn’t until 10th grade that it all came to a head- my anxiety reached a peak and I wasn’t all A’s and B’s anymore. And that’s when I finally got diagnosed.

[@jdavis7993]

That probably applies to thousands in this comment section. It's so treatable with help, but most are just left to languish instead. ADHD is rough. Messes with emotions, anger, and brashness/impulsivity.

[@reyyan8718]

it's so funny people get diagnosed when they get lower grades. they forget their names?? oh sure it' not important. they don't get straight A's anymore??? THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG

[@MariaM-pu4fx]

Same

[@victorianmariner]

Same! At my old school, if you didn't finish all your work during class time, you didn't get recess that day and you had to stay inside until you finished everything. Keep in mind this applied to kids aged 2-10. I usually finished all my work during class but occasionally I wouldn't. I remember one day when I was about six, I was having a super hard time focusing - I think I hadn't gone to recess the day before either, so I was super ready to get outside and run around - and I didn't get all my work done during class that day so of course I had to stay inside until I finished all my work. I wound up making a lot of careless errors just so I could go outside. The next day my teacher announced to the entire class that I had only made 50% or thereabouts, so there was no point in them being jealous of me because I wasn't too smart anyway. I wound up having to stay after class again that day and redo the entire worksheet as well as some extra work for no reason. As a six-year-old girl with undiagnosed ADHD, those days were basically torture for me. I was also abused by one of my teachers because she didn't like that I excelled in reading comprehension and maths, and I still constantly feel the effects of the trauma and shame I dealt with then.

[@4shfur]

its the same for me- im undiagnosed with some form of adhd or autism and anxiety but my parents keep insisting that I'm "too smart" to be nd because I always used to do well in school and that I just need to work harder. I have tons of problems with forgetfulness, procrastination, and anxiety but its hard to manage all that stuff when your parents think that youre just being lazy and that you're a dramatic teen

[@caris4097]

it especially hurt when a teacher would ask “what happened?” when you got anything lower then an a or b on a quiz or test. i would legit cry whenever that happened, haha

[@daniellarobson6914]

i never reply to comments but i felt that on a personal level so i’m about to get deep you can just scroll haha. 7th grade pre algebra i would fail practically every test i didn’t cheat on. i mean some concepts i understood but math just was not my strong suit. i got a 74 on a math test where the class average was 96. i got a 42 and even a 17 and every single test i was stopped in the hallways and asked “what happened” and holy crap is it hard to hold back from crying and breaking down right then and there. i would shrug my shoulders, look down, blink 4 times, and listen as the teacher went on and on how i could ask for help if i didn’t understand something but the stigma of an honors kid getting help is something my 12 year old mind just couldn’t handle. that teacher was such a nice man and thinking back he impacted how i am today but i just hated him. i hated him because i couldn’t understand his work. so instead of getting extra help i would make smart remarks, call out, and i even got in trouble once because i posted about how much i didn’t like him. i didn’t realize until after he was no longer my teacher that it wasn’t him that i didn’t like. it was the thought that i was failing something. that’s what i didn’t like. i would like to one day go back and apologize to him for all the shit i put him through.

[@inhle1688]

your emo girlfriend For math this term I got a B+, I went to my tutor and he had asked me “what happened”. I literally broke down, for every test that term I had gotten an A, every test except one and it was an algebra test which I had gotten a C (yikes) in, I’ve always struggled with algebra and the only reason I went to that tutor was for Algebra and he didn’t help me at all and I was too afraid to ask + I never practiced cause I thought I was smart enough to get if after 2/3 lessons. This whole academic year has not gone well for me and I’m extremely stressed because every expects better from me which is just overwhelming.

[@AmbyJeans]

daniella robson I relate to this story deeply

[@GhoulishTeatime]

Oh my god, same. Id have a panic attack getting one of those. Id FLIP out

[@aflairforthe.evi.]

It wasn't actually happened to me but it did to my friend. We were in an honors math class but the rest of the classes were normal. In science class we had a test and the average grade was much lower than usual and my friend got a C and the teacher said those words. In linch she told me how she wanted to cry on the spot but didn't until she got home

[@swedishfish9555]

The worst part of being “gifted” for me has been the pressure to succeed. Relatives constantly say I’ll invent teleportation and time travel, even though I know I can’t. Sometimes I have panic attacks and mental breakdowns because I get an F on a three point assignment because my teacher misplaced it and I just have to email them to fix it.

[@kyleyyy]

Yeah I’m in 4th grade and I made an 88 during quarantine and it was 1 out of 2 assignments that she had put in to 4th quarter. The point is, I freaked out, emailed my teacher twice, my mom messaged her once and called her once, and I didn’t calm down. It turns out that I was able to raise the grade, but 4th quarter didn’t count to the yearly average at all. So I freaked out about something that didn’t even count, and was worried sick about to the point where I checked my grade multiple times every day.

[@just_tortellini]

The worst part of being "gifted" I have people constantly on my back for every wrong move I make. I get a -B, I get 3 lectures on being a better student and to stop playing on my phone all the time(I dont). I get something wrong, my friends bring it up months later saying, hey do you remember you got this wrong, your stupid(meant to be a joke). On TV theres a child genius, "You should be like that" or "Lets put you in class so you can do this"

[@junggoo3534]

we share the same pain :(

[@mauropereira187]

Have you tried telling them how you feel? Like tell them that you feel pressured and you could tell them to take it down a notch and give you time to relax. I don’t know if this helps or not but hope you have the time to relax.

[@ImaginaryMdA]

Anything but astonishing succes feels like failure.

[@DoppleGanger09]

oh yes separate kids and tell one group their better than the other that will end up perfectly

[@name-bt7ow]

Lord of the flies but 4th grade

[@twinkiesmaster69]

I mean, not everyone is the same but children are a different thing, this just gives a bad mindset

[@amyy.6382]

Right or just keep them together with the kids who absolutely give no fucks about their education. Yep, just ruin the learning experience.

[@lindsayy7374]

Ugh I hate that I am an experienced kid that was once in a class labeled the “smart” class majority thought of theirselves so superior 🙄

[@BayOfWulf]

It gave me a temporary giant ego

[@tia4679]

The part about feeling ashamed to ask questions, or quitting when you don't understand something rings true even today, where teachers are constantly asking students to ask questions. It becomes ingrained in you because when someone says "everyone asks questions, it helps them learn," you just end up thinking that you aren't part of that "everyone." When you've built a reputation of knowing everything right away, it is almost dehumanizing to not know something in front of the class, when all the "non-gifted" students can grasp the concept easily. Being gifted becomes the only thing that you have, the one thing you take pride in. When it comes to show that we're just as good as everyone else, we crumble. Because all of my ex-gifted friends know that being average is worse than anything.

[@DangerNoodle68]

I can’t tell you how much I relate. Average is used like a slur for us. And we’re already crying (or however you convey sadness). Below average is a death sentence. It’s a terrible mental loop that personally, I’ve never been able to get out of. :(

[@sophia00014]

as a “gifted” student i have always hated the term “gifted” because every time we’d leave the room i felt so uncomfortable. i could tell it made other students feel less than, that’s just horrible.

[@Gr1gg0]

EXACTLY. It’s toxic attention that make the other students resent you. Or at least that’s what happened to me.

[@hayleyl5152]

This wasn't really the case with us, since I come from a sort of backwoods country school and really no one cares about education or being smart. My teachers went as far as to give fun days for the other kids when we left for the program because they thought we were just there having fun and getting a free get out of class ticket :/

[@mayah7063]

God yea. I remember when I was young on "PI" day (March 14) all the tag kids when to go eat pie and cakes and have alittle party while the other kids, me, did worksheets. Definitely not the kids fault in the slightest but there was alot of elitism at my elementary school. I'm in alot of "higher level" classes in high school currently, tag isn't really a thing here or at least not a separate class. Its really sad and odd to see the kids who have never failed a test or been not good at something experience it for the first time. Also as someone who didn't grow up with the school telling me I'm smart(it was sometimes the opposite) going into the "smart people" classes and having teacher praise us for being better is really really weird. I always try to remind myself and other that there are different ways to be "smart" and we aren't better than anyone.

[@samd4162]

My little bro struggles in school and I feel bad when I would do stuff he is learning in 5th in 3rd or younger. I always have an excuse when I go to Gifted and Talented (that is the worst name). I say I go to Speech (English isn't my first language). They believed it. I just feel so horrible talking about my school life. I learned multiplication in first grade. I think they should be in entirely different kids so they don't resent us. They should have a separate class.

[@Emma_Bunnell]

@@Gr1gg0 I was in an "academically advanced" class, and the other classes in our grade would bully us lol

[@lilililililililililililililily]

most youtubers: “if you haven’t noticed, my background’s different, here’s why...” Tiffany: “there’s children screaming here, don’t question it”

[@felix.mp3639]

Lily L. Lmao she said that when I read the comment

[@lilililililililililililililily]

Skittles Army love when that happens haha

[@c-train3630]

I dont even care about that

[@truvy_5544]

I hate that, "I expect more from you." Line when teachers see you do something that other kids are doing or you get a low grade Wait...I guess that fall from that teacher's pet category.

[@pineappleyee67]

Sameee

[@freerangeeggs6442]

It destroyed me when I got a b in a test and he came up to me and said "what happened?" as if I had committed some kind of crime.

[@volphinaserafina]

@@freerangeeggs6442 something like that happened to me. Luckily though it happened really early on for me because one kid in my class he cried because he got a 99 and after that he looked broken the entire rest of the year. But my problem is that I have my parents pressure on me still which still leaves me with a bit of that mentality

[@name-bt7ow]

I wanted to read in 4th grade instead of watching little house on the prairie for the 9th time and my teacher yelled at me for 15 minutes in front of the whole class about how I was a "respectful young man who was better than that" and when I got C's in in pre al I was "such a talented kid who needs to try harder"

[@Serpico_Digg]

All of junior year my American history teacher would write on my test "you could do better" ,my lowest grade was a 79.5 ,my highest 100. She would write it for anything below an 88. The reason for this being that on my entrance exams for high school I was in the top 1% for language so she expects BetTeR. Like honestly that pissed me off all year.

[@tia4679]

One thing I feel has happened to a lot of gifted students is being forced to pursue a career or field that you don't enjoy, but are good at. My entire life people have been in awe of the fact that I've wanted nothing to do with math and STEM, but because that just so happens to be one of my best subjects, it is viewed as a "waste of potential" to want to study film or media.

[@KNRK379]

When I went to a community college my high-school GT teacher told me it was a waste of my talent. However, I knew it was best for me & I was SO right. I took the long way around & now at 34 I'm so happy and fulfilled personally and professionally. I wish more gifted people would listen to their own voices over others who "know better." It's our life & we should take responsibility for it.

[@ShinyTillDawn]

@@KNRK379 "But they're kids. They don't know anything!"

[@nancyblockcolsky1387]

I went to a special high school for academically strong students. Many of my classmates became doctors, lawyers, engineers. What do I do? I teach music. And I LOVE what I do.

[@tia4679]

@@ShinyTillDawn Exactly! People assume children and teens to ace all their classes, (otherwise, they're a "failure") but when they want to express their opinion in their education, they're "just kids."

[@0-Stars-MikiTune-]

@@tia4679 Yeah. Some adults can be absolutely pathetic, Children, especially teenagers, are smarter than they believe - even if only slightly.

[@fini5294]

Being gifted at something you have no interest in can be so toxic. My dad was pressured to be a lawyer by his father. His actual passion was martial arts and he was really good at it and wanted to get a degree in sports instead. In lawschool he was top of his class though so he was told by everyone ditching that would be insane. He became a succesful lawyer, came home fron work in a bad mood everday and became abusive and horrible to me and my sister. A few years ago he opened a dojo with his friends at age 61 and since that has been a changed man. Smiling all the time, full of energy and ideas, even kind. I still can't forget how he used to treat us but it's at least a positive turn and I'm happy for him.

[@ihatethisusernameupdate]

My dad got the job he wanted and was good at, but he complains about it and tells me to be better than him so I won't end up working a job that requires physical effort. Like, does he want me to work a lame, boring job that I won't like instead of doing something I like and I'm good at? And why the hell does he complain about his job that he actually wanted? I seriously fail to understand adults sometimes.

[@fishstickfancy3797]

Fini Fellke my dojo teacher is in his sixties 🤔

[@EC-yw5hg]

Beast Mode I’m 18, and I work in a warehouse. Granted, it isn’t mentally stimulating at all-but it’s my first “real” job, and a physically hard one at that, and I have never been in so much pain and so exhausted in my life. Maybe that’s why he’s telling you to avoid a physical job-if it sucks already, the hard physical aspect makes it 100000 times worse

[@ihatemickiegee]

wow. the fact that this experience isn't even uncommon is scary, but still is terrible to hear :(. the fact that it can take a toll on more than just the "gifted person" should shine a light on how important this topic, this reality, is. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. I feel sorry for him.. not like any of it excuses his behavior and abusive actions towards others especially his own family and children, but that he might have been a different man without the expectation and pushing. he didnt follow his dreams until the damage was so far done. it brings forth an intensely significant lesson, but not without naught.. and I am so incredibly sorry for that. you are so strong for dealing with what you dealt with, being the fucking punching bag in place of his father but yet STILL being able to understand the source of _somewhat_ of the anger and behavior *even though you had no responsibility to reason with the mind of the person abusing you, regardless of relationship.* never ever ever forget how he treated you, but hopefully seeing some of the big picture can help you recover from it more than complete unwitting confusion and hopefully know nothing you guys did deserved any sort of that type of treatment. I'm glad he's better but the toxicity doesn't just fade into the ether, it went around and soaked in to the people who should have been most important to him. I hope he at least faces that now and doesn't just pretend it never happened just cuz he's happy now. I pray he realizes it every single day. you deserved so much better. but at least even more pain doesn't have to be caused by his issues any longer.. and I hope it stays that way. best wishes xx _so fucking sorry for writing a novel omg did not mean to spill empathetic word vomit 🙄_

[@SoggycereaI]

I’m especially gifted in Science and ELA, and the school PUSHES me in those. No matter what I do, they always bring up colleges and give me points for those subjects, and I can even get free college if I take those courses (And I’m in 7th - going to 8th grade) This is really stressful for me as I don’t want to go to college, and want to do art in life. They undermine me a lot for my choices saying that if I’m good in it, why not do it? Saying it as an easy path for life.

[@psychedelicbreakfast8466]

I used to get perfect grades but now I barely have any motivation to try.

[@alexgale9520]

MoonWake I’m just depressed

[@NatsuDragneel-ge7hm]

I have started losing hope in schools. Grades shouldnt design your destiny

[@thenightingale5679]

Same here I went from a straight a student who never had a missing assignment to dropping a class because I had a 0%

[@NoMartialArtsKenny]

MoonWake same

[@fuyutoraa]

honestly yeah pretty much

[@coscorrodrift]

"you will reach a point where you'll have to study and you'll not be able to" heard the guy currently watching a youtube video while not studying because he literally finds sitting down to study and keeping that attention almost impossible

[@krindzfail]

ME

[@echsemia]

SAME RN I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK AND A TEST IN A WEEK

[@cookiecarooi]

absolutely same.

[@ActuallyRocatex]

bud thats me

[@ActuallyRocatex]

probably

[@tayhatesmustard]

after i left elementary school being a “gifted kid”, i realized how i was not very smart compared to the other kids in school. being a gifted kid gave me crazy expectations for myself and by others. i am also the slowest one in my classes now. *just because i passed a test and loved reading when i was little does not mean i am gifted.*

[@julialomotey]

Do you also feel like you’re smart in one subject? I feel like I’m smart only in English and that is ok😭. Math is my worse subject.

[@CvnDqnrU]

Once they asked me what was the secret of my genius, I told them I paid attention to the teacher. I'm not a genius, just kinda antisocial.

[@Juliah_Marie]

YES THATS HOW I FEEL

[@girldanielle-dt6jx]

@@julialomotey Exactly. Don't think I was really a "gifted" kid, but I was considered a genius. But yeah English is my fav subject and math is def not my strong suit.

[@ellam8847]

yeah i was a gifted kid in primary school. i liked learning. now, i have zero work ethic, no motivation, i'm a pro at procrastination, i get really upset when i don't do well and i hate things i'm not immediately good at. thanks school :)

[@musaddiqueh6248]

If you've realized it and acknowledged it, then it's time to fix it, or at least take the steps to do so

[@io2255]

ella m literally same and it’s ruined my life lol

[@honk6752]

We could say that you're a pro crastinator I'm so sorry

[@hunterochsisawesome]

I’m the exact same. Now I’m in honor classes in high school and struggling cause now I just hate everything and don’t want to do anything

[@josielife4286]

Oh same

[@youdonthavetheprivilegetok5153]

As a gifted kid, whenever I got lower grades than somebody else, everybody else would always be like “oOoH, hAhA yOu GoT a LoWeR gRaDe!1!!11!!”

[@user-lu4xp7iv8c]

SpaceDorito exactly that’s so annoying

[@carter_pewterschmidt]

YES😭😪

[@viola8119]

THANK YOU, I HATE IT SO MUCH

[@souppoweredmachine]

Oml that made me feel really bad about myself like good for you please stop

[@ionia2376]

I hated that! Did anyone find that they were expected to be more mature too? People expected you to brush off rude and spiteful comments about your academic aptitude.

[@Gr1gg0]

When your friends label you “the smart one” and don’t understand why your literally sobbing when you get a B+ when they got a D, saying “omg that’s a good grade chill out fr”

[@CosmicCherry1]

I usually got an A on all my math test and the one time I got an 80 I was on the verge of tears. I was upset because I was labeled as the smart kid

[@sanityidontknowher5057]

I sob at an A-, I sob in class (only online class, I am able to hold back the tears irl) when I didn‘t pay attention and couldn‘t answer it or when I get it wrong (even when I‘m not the one answering the question, someone else answers it and they got it right and mine is wrong, whoops, there goes my confidence, hello, tissues!) and my classmates just don‘t get why I‘m making such a big deal of it but they‘re not used to having to be perfect all the time.

[@vexywexypoo]

My parents would kill me if I got a B.

[@lepenguin1907]

I litterally cried one time because I got a C on something-

[@Justnicoleluvss]

Same

[@aellaaskew4263]

My struggle "You're too smart to be autistic!" I was and still am "gifted" but that label has changed meaning from "you're a smart kid" to "you are smart for an autistic and disabled adult." So the gifted label was the reason that I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was an adult.

[@Hilary945]

This is a common issue. People don't realize you can have a Disability and a Gift at the same time. I was not diagnosed with Autism until I was 24

[@nancyblockcolsky1387]

Autistic people can be gifted, and it probably masked your other “symptoms” (for lack of a better word). People probably thought you were just a quirky gifted person. I’m hoping your diagnosis brought you some answers.

[@aellaaskew4263]

@@nancyblockcolsky1387 lol "a quirky disabled person" well. You got me nailed down. That I am and that I was told was all that was different about me from doctors. It's sad really, and now the autism diagnosis hinders my medical care, cause on paper, people read not competent in place of autistic.

[@nancyblockcolsky1387]

@@aellaaskew4263 I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve to be treated with dignity, not prejudice. It’s too bad they can’t see the person you are because they’re blinded by your label. I hope you can find medical help from people less ignorant.

[@aellaaskew4263]

@@nancyblockcolsky1387 well at this point I can say I'm in the fight. The system and the people within are unfortunately on cruise control and pushing for what you need is uncommon too. I can't keep surviving on my own so right now I'm going with the Make some Noise model.😏

[@SahloFolina2161]

Me: *does not know a question* My brain: You can’t ask for help cuz then you’re weak. Me: *cries inside*

[@Sof12]

This

[@laurenbooth227]

Completely true

[@saparyabalraj5979]

You didn't have to expose me like that

[@sanityidontknowher5057]

And then Mom: WeLL, WhY DiDn‘T yOu JuSt aSK SoMeBoDy To HelP YoU?

[@honeycloves-]

i feel you

[@TheLunahaven]

Former gifted kid here. Let me just say, as soon as your grade drops and you aren’t the “smart” kid anymore, it will CRUSH you. You breeze through all your other classes, you don’t learn how to study, and you don’t get taught how to handle the stress of work that you don’t understand right away. And you are expected to do well by not just adults, but by your peers. So, basically, it kills your creativity and soul.

[@aceofspades7629]

happened to me: In elementary I had A's only, I was way ahead of everyone without studying. Now in middle school there is a girl in my class (we're friends, she's nice) and her grades are always so high but she actually *studies* and while my grades were falling cuz I didn't know how to study she kept being the smartest kid in class and now I have... issues

[@sanityidontknowher5057]

Been there, done that. I was caught so unprepared the first day of middle school, I was like: „Wait...you actually have to STUDY to get good grades?“ I then didn‘t study at all and now I‘m in 7th grade, still not studying, not top of the class but don‘t get lower than 3 (in Germany we have numbers instead of letters, 1 is the best, 6 the worst) and my average is between 1 and 2, but my problem is that my expectations that I set for myself are too high. I‘ve gotten used to being the smart kid and while I‘m still the SOMEWHAT smart kid in most subjects, I constantly bring myself down for not being good enough and for not getting myself together and studying. I never learned how to study and that‘s what‘s holding me back. Could schools like, prepare gifted kids for the avalanche they will receive upon reaching THAT grade? Because we are in desperate need of it.

[@sanityidontknowher5057]

@@aceofspades7629 Same with me tho, somebody better teach me how to STUDY.

[@aceofspades7629]

@@sanityidontknowher5057 OMG SAME Du sprichst mir aus der Seele, es ist einfach genauso bei mir. Ich bin jetzt in der 9. auf nem Gymnasium und meine Noten (besonders Mathe) gehen immer weiter runter und der Druck wird immer *höher.* Vor allem: Einsen sind für meine Eltern normal, Zweien auch noch- aber alles darunter ist schlecht!

[@sanityidontknowher5057]

@@aceofspades7629 Ich kenn das Gefühl. 😔 Wir müssen das einfach durchhalten 🥲🤚❤️

[@Icyaisha989]

Learning becomes a chore, and spending time doing stuff you enjoy makes you feel guilty, your peers put pressure on you so much, that you are afraid of messing up, the anxiety you develop makes you cry often and so does the phrase “But I thought you were smart?!” I wasn’t gifted, but I was labeled as the “smart kid” because I liked to learn

[@neerjain9618]

i'm sorry but this just called me out-

[@Icyaisha989]

@@neerjain9618 lol 😂 I’m glad you understand 🥲

[@amberb.6395]

Yessss. This takes me back to intro to algebra in 8th grade! I was arguing with another person in my group about the answer and how to do a question. This went on for a while and there were just the three of us in a group. At the time, my crush was the third person and he took my side because I was “the smart kid”. Well we finally call the teacher to settle the situation and the other dude was right. When the teacher said that I just went even more ghost white than I normally am, and I was just frozen. How could I have been wrong? I’m never wrong. It shook me up so badly I was quiet for the rest of the week and I didn’t think I could be considered “the smart kid” anymore. Luckily I finally got out of that funk again but I made sure the quadruple check my work and answers again

[@omori3703]

I still excel in the gifted classes (highest set in the UK (1)) and I still feel inadequate even when I beat the defacto smartest of the smart in a test by 12 points The anxiety of always staying smart. It’s awful

[@moosefeathers1990]

This is EXACTLY how I feel! I am working through not feeling guilty relaxing but still. Not fun to deal with that in college~

[@Slugbunny]

"You're so mature for your age!" "why yes, I did lose all my dopamine early in life" "And so gifted!" "it was the only thing that got me recognition and a semblance of love at home" Thanks for the video. 💯

[@helena1136]

you forget to put my name in the end

[@camm5245]

Realest comment

[@sinestesianestesia9079]

Wow this hit hard

[@kelseycheng6542]

When you were a fifth grader reading at an 11th grade level. Now you’re an 11th grader reading at an 11th grade level

[@calebjohnson2883]

Ouch

[@midnightmist9924]

Have you been reading anything?

[@bruhhelp7396]

You just told my life story

[@pyper9982]

Same

[@readmydescifyouwant650]

And now you feel like crap because of it.

[@theevauwu7853]

Most of us weren't gifted, we were just faster at picking up info.

[@FunSizeSpamberguesa]

THIS. I have a great memory and a very large vocabulary, and that still tricks people into thinking I'm smarter than I actually am long after high school. There are a lot of truly gifted kids out there, but there are a whole lot more who get the label slapped on purely for being ahead of the curve.

[@idkwhattoputhere8575]

Gifted in my area is about learning fast and memorizing

[@raheemcamal998]

@@FunSizeSpamberguesa yep

[@heathernelson6846]

Why isn’t being “fast at picking up info” a form of intelligence? There are many types of intelligence. Learning quickly is one of them and has a lot of real world value.

[@Howzernn]

Speed of picking up info is a rough definition of intelligence...

[@zagrdatrgamr]

My teenage angst made me say “I don’t care about my grades they’re just numbers” while I cried because I knew I was a low tier gifted student.

[@lovelydolltime8006]

Same. I just care about passing each class, not becoming the next Albert Einstein.

[@random23287]

Same

[@angelDanJonathan]

@@lovelydolltime8006 No one can compete with Albert Einstein. He didn't even take an IQ test. He's just highly specialized in his field. The one intelligence test he took was made by Thomas Edison and he supposedly failed on the general knowledge and vocabulary questions (which was the entire test). Most psychologists/pros in psychometrics believe that he would do well on the spatial questions like raven's matrices and that he would be classified as gifted on a raven's test... But it's just speculation. He said something along the lines of... What's the point of memorizing information when I can just look it up in a book.

[@Kixtii]

Yep.

[@lyra9988]

Grades are letters too. 🙄

[@NellyTubeAwesomeURL]

The worst part is the fear of being judged for leaving the program.

[@cescascamera3365]

fr

[@el9250]

being labeled a gifted kid is probably one of the worst things that has ever happened to me lmao!! im now a perfectionist who can't make a mistake without feeling like im not smart

[@oliviabird9737]

maybe try counselling, I did and it helped me a lot maybe it will help you too

[@el9250]

@austin M maybe i should explain this more; because of the pressure put upon me by my parents, friends and myself, i have an extremely hard time coping with failing. it usually concerns a mental breakdown if it's major. i have tried to "stop complaining" but it doesn't just go away. sorry if this sounded rude fellow advanced human being.

[@moonchild2140]

I can relate so much wow, if anyone has a « remedy » for this please let me know🤣

[@justarandompally]

I totally have this issue as well. Worst part of it is that literally nobody but myself is putting any pressure on me, but as soon as I can't learn something almost immediately or I forget something or whatever, I just feel like shit, and that I've been lied to my entire life and that really I'm just stupid and useless

[@schwarzeseis4031]

@austin M "Get with the program," assuming there is one that actually matches you.

[@Clara-gn7yk]

being a former “gifted” child, my parents just can’t deal with the worsening of my grades and don’t understand what is going on. but i don’t know how i can do any better because i have never been taught how to study or spend time on topics i don’t understand because it all becomes too much for me. this video was really informative and interesting though

[@soaphops4174]

Me too! My tip for studying when you don’t know where to even start is to just start doing SOMETHING whether it is taking notes from the text book or just forcing yourself to start the homework and try to really understand it And over time I’ve gotten the hang of what methods work for me and how much time to spend(but I’m still struggling)

[@capn_l]

Wish i could study but my main distractions at home is my family themselves

[@jenka__h]

just start to study the concept of the topic you are currently into. ask the teacher instead of being silent.

[@andra6175]

i get what you mean, my parents got mad at me because my grade percentage dropped by 2%

[@math_the_why_behind]

For a lot of topics, one way I've found very helpful for studying is Quizlet. (Other times, I have done other ways of studying, such as creating documents for me to fill out the answers and then answering them. For math, I think the best way to study is to solve new problems.)

[@sarahgallant2761]

Being a “gifted” kid: -If I don’t understand something RIGHT away, I get very overwhelmed and quit, thinking if I can’t do it right away I can’t ever. This also translates to other things like sports -My parents (and myself) expect too much of me, and anything below an A minus is failing -High grades are normal and expected, and anything lower than that makes me feel stupid and worthless -Understanding things used to be easy and I never had to try, so I never learned proper studying or learning techniques -Teachers tell me “I expected more from you” if you make one mistake -I easily got burnout, and now hate the thought of doing work, because the thought of doing something and it not being perfect makes me crumble There’s probably more but... yeah😎

[@bvnniibvrst874]

I can relate, especially to the first one. I have a piano and after I learn a part of a song i get excited and show someone. But if I mess up I immediately slam my head on the keys and quit. And I feel embarassed and ashamed of myself for the rest of day

[@macrimelon]

Exactly! A couple of days ago I did ONE thing wrong for the first assignment that we did in the lesson, and the teacher said "This isn't like you, I expect more" or something like that. It hurt me down deep, and I've been told a lot of things like that almost every year, and then people wonder why I have such high expectations for myself.

[@starshames]

Exactly this for me. I can't even do a simple writing assignment because it HAS to be perfect. That's why I failed my writing class in college. I still hate myself for it. The guy who sat beside me wasn't a native English speaker and had a higher grade than me. Not saying that to hate against him, I'm really proud of him for being able to get through the class without having extensive knowledge in English, because if that were me, I would've just given up.

[@DaveInSnitchel]

Literally me dude. You just read my mind.

[@semiist]

I got a B and my teacher and parents were disappointed, saying that I should have done better😃

[@tvds8350]

When the only thing people know you as is “smart”, you feel the constant pressure to always be good at everything and never fail. Also, it's so annoying because they only see my “smartness” rather than my sense of humor, or kindness.

[@tvds8350]

@@itzasweater9621 No It’s like that’s the first thing they see, like they think I’m “smart” but they never get to know me enough to see I’m not just all brains or whatever.

[@allisonskitchen4420]

Yes definitely. I basically had a mental breakdown in 4th grade. I was labeled as gifted in 3rd grade, so because of that, plus the fact that I had just enrolled into a school that was "special" because of some advanced classes they offered, I developed a bit of a big head. The 4th grade teacher was also not helping, she didn't really seem to get that we were kids, and told us, a group of 8 and 9 year olds, that we need to start being independent and responsible like adults. The type of homework she assigned and the workload overwhelmed me. None of the other kids really cared about doing homework, but my parents pushed me to do the homework, and I've always had the mindset that if I don't do all the work that's assigned then I'm not doing something right. I was confused from all the bull**** that was being thrown at me from every direction, with my mom saying "come on, you never had a problem with homework before!"(I do want to say she was very supportive, but her word choice was very poor and didn't help), my teacher not understanding, my classmates telling me I was smart, and everybody from my parents to random people telling me I was gifted and surely good at school. So yeah 4th grade messed me up. As a result in 5th grade I developed severe social anxiety, but thankfully later on in Middle School I was able to regain my sense of self, but I know that doesn't happen for everyone.

[@tvds8350]

@@allisonskitchen4420 I can relate with this but this happen to me in like 7th-8th grade

[@Thr3pio]

One of the worst things ever said to me by another student in high school was “An F? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” My self-esteem only sunk from that point until I took a break from college and started learning about myself.

[@tvds8350]

@@Thr3pio yeah

[@astro_lane]

i remember while doing tests the sinking feeling i got hearing everyone flip their tests over while i was only halfway done with the first page. i feel like the pressure of being gifted was not only about level of intellect but also the speed at which one was able to complete tests/ projects

[@kmaeyeah]

i'm in honors(which is gifted, its just that my school decided to be "different" and name it honors smh) so being in a class with other smart-ass people made me nervous. i totally know the feeling of still being on the first page while other classmates were way ahead. it made anxious and i would start fidgeting and just try to catch up while having the right answers

[@dominiquebrown3867]

I have that feeling when I take tests too. I was considered gifted and the "smart kid" in high school but I am a slow test taker. What I have learned is that sometime slow and steady wins the race but the pressure is still there. I am in grad school now and I recently had the same experience in my Machine Learning class. We had a 5 hour exam (i know...) and most people finished in 2 and a half hours ( I could tell because they all logged off our live chat for questions). I finished with 10 min. to spare. Still got a B+ on the final and A in the class but I haven't felt that kind of pressure in a while.

[@ace-4634]

Well, I’m not labeled as “gifted”, since I don’t think my country has that, but I somehow agree. I always set a limit to myself so I could be the best or at least better than some but not all. So whenever everyone finishes first I feel horrible. I feel like I didn’t live up to my expectations or I’m not good enough. And what makes me feel worse or that I did this to myself. Nobody ever told me to put a goal. Nobody ever told me to pressure myself. Nobody ever told me to be like this. But I can’t help myself.

[@sharky4744]

I feel you. I'm a super slow test taker and it feels like everybody else is in super sonic speed mode. Also, is it just me or would people flip their pages extra loud and purposely slam their pencil down once they finished their test? That always gave me even more anxiety lol

[@sangonomiyakokomi5764]

@@kmaeyeah yeah me being my parents smartest child (yes they literally think I am their smartest child) it makes me nervous being around 37 smart-asses, that even ended up being at the honors list. While I'm here cursing my math, science, and history grades

[@hidude5698]

I hate it when they say " I'm disappointed in you" or " I expected better"

[@PhilipHami]

Hey, you got 69 likes.

[@renoirrr]

I hate it when teachers do that. Parents are a whole different story though

[@kaiser7695]

when they get mad at me and tell me I'm dumb for getting a B I want to drop out

[@tophatring8445]

The GuyWhoLikesFries for real or when they think you should act one way just because you’re in a certain grade or certain class (like A or B class)

[@sampletext2569]

I say for complains ir problems talk to the maker

[@개나리-l8p]

To me, the main problem with the whole "gifted" narrative is: it's really easy to be considered "gifted" when you're in school and life hasn't yet imposed any sort of serious filter on the people around you. From college onwards, when we start having contact with the "intellectual elite" (a lot of irony here), we realize that we are not that special - and it is ABSOLUTELY CRUSHING to our self-esteem. When, throughout your whole life, you are entirely defined by exceptional intelligence and, suddenly, you can no longer perform this role and reaffirm your status of abnormal smarts (or not as easily or as well, at least), you lose your sense of self. Also, people tend to forget that there are many types of intelligence, so they just expect you to be good at everything. Unfortunately, we internalize this more often than not. However, you're not taught to deal with intellectual frustration because people think you're just too smart to need it, so you start to shy away from the things at which you're not immediately perfect. Tiffany actually mentioned this in the video and I absolutely agree. I think I'm a great example of this phenomenon. I have been officially diagnosed with intellectual giftedness in languages, but it doesn't translate to the other areas. Recently, I've had to pick up economics and I considered giving up many many times because I wasn't immediately good at it - actually, the sole reason I haven't given up yet is that it's required knowledge for my dream career. My self-esteem has suffered immensely. Sure, I can speak 12 languages, but I still feel consistently like trash because I haven't entirely grasped the concept of price elasticity yet. I'll probably never meet the standards I set for myself.

[@sunny9439]

Honestly I remember taking the test and being declared “gifted” and being like “I’m getting a present? Nice” that present ended up being more work

[@peiithos]

Then youre like 'what?' Do they not understand that kids dont want to do more work as a gift? Like, I want to have fun not do busywork.

[@crystaldoherty8791]

Ugh yup, “You did that work so well that congratulations, your reward is...extension work to do at home!!!” That’s sure some reward for doing well. Looking back, I know I was not remotely gifted or advanced because anyone with half a brain would purposefully fail their class work just to get their afternoons back.

[@chloechloe12345]

Our was the “double time group”. It was just double the homework... :’(

[@didia3608]

SAME

[@Danuxsy]

I didn't even take the test cuz I was retarded

[@mayazc7553]

I can totally relate to not developing enough study skills. That's the reason for my under achievement in university.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

What are study skills? I keep hearing about them but after 22 years I still havent got a God damn clue what they are.

[@Lee-fw5bd]

@@Gr3nadgr3gory mostly time management and the motivation to be rigorous about studying. There are other things but most are specific to the person or subject. That's a serious answer. Just in case you weren't joking.

[@Thisistaraa]

I got so much shade in college for not studying and taking notes. People would be like wtf you just show up and space out and still pass. Grad school was my limit and I’m dreading going forward cause it’s finally difficult but idk how to study

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

@@Thisistaraa I got stuck at calculus. Even went to get a shitton of extra help. Just never clicked.

[@theappler9516]

i legitimately don't understand how to study other than to flip over quizlet cards

[@Saf333]

About "gifted" people never asking for help, there's the issue that when you do, people ignore it. People just don't believe that you need it.

[@stupidityofme7248]

Yeah, they usually give excuses to not help you along the lines of: "You're smart, you can figure it out yourself", "No, you're just being lazy.", "It's not that hard for you!", etc.

[@Saf333]

@@stupidityofme7248 yep. "You're just not trying hard enough" (when I physically can't tell apart some words, which is a very clear sign of dislexia btw) or something that they don't say but is always implied is "other people need more help than you".

[@stupidityofme7248]

@@Saf333 yeah, when people say those things it always hits you like a truck since aha, it feels like you should be able to do it because everyone else thinks you should be able to do it.

[@Saf333]

@@stupidityofme7248 honestly this whole mentality really fucked me up. Took me years to accept that I had dislexia because I couldn't accept anything about myself that wasn't perfect. After that there was the huge fight of "I'm not good enough". That one's still a struggle.

[@stupidityofme7248]

@@Saf333 yeah man, I feel yea. When people hold you to high expectations and leave you on your own, then get angry or shocked at the fact you don't meet those expectations or you have some sort of disorder of something, just really feels like a train wreck as you think you should be perfect, because that's how everyone sees you. Really fucks you up man

[@neh7418]

I just want to share my perspective as the sibling of the "gifted" kid. First, I never feel smart enough at home since my mom always compares the pick up skills of me and my sibling. Second, my sister enjoys dumb shaming me. It has reached a point that I intentionally present myself as a dumb person to her and my mom (as a joke). And third, since everyone is aware that my sister is smart (even my sister knows it herself), those moments when my she does make a mistake...she tends to overreact. I do feel bad for her though and I do understand why even a little mistake affects her badly.

[@squirrel8397]

I’m the “smart” sibling and I feel like I am under constant pressure to perform perfectly. I used to feel really bitter towards my brother because it felt like he was more of the favorite child. He would do the bare minimum and still be praised whereas my parents would be disappointed if I made a small mistake. It usually sucks for both siblings because they are constantly comparing and being compared to their other sibling. Parents should learn not to compare their kids and let them be.

[@yourally]

It really does go both ways.

[@reaper253]

@@squirrel8397 comepletely agree but I must ask are we the same person cuz man that is literally my whole life up until this point

[@maddieadaddy]

It's so difficult. Like I understand the struggle of being a gifted kid, but being told you're not as smart as your sibling from such a young age really hurts.

[@izzahcamillia8339]

Not to mention the guilt when you're trying to cheer up a friend who got a bad grade. The self-doubt and shame doesn't really help either when I get an average grade on a subject. Hiding my test results from my friends has become a habit.

[@aquate9637]

Don't, they don't care what your grades are. TRUST ME.

[@Olivia_Hedges]

All I can say is I feel you

[@shahnazwm]

@@aquate9637 true tho

[@tadbitsketch]

Yep.

[@deeeeeeeep]

lmaoo dont they prob dont care i hide my test resutls for the opposite. not showing my bad grades to them cuz i know they got good grades then me.

[@rune.mp4]

when she said ‘being smart becomes apart of your identity’ ngl i started tearing up

[@alvaroa.fuentes9064]

Why

[@singtalklaughli8999]

Same

[@mawcha]

Alvaro A. Fuentes you’re put in a bubble and are expected to keep that status or image of being intelligent.

[@hb23.]

Angelina Smith this whole video made me tear up

[@pokefan7446]

Yeah.

[@MiddayLady]

We live in this weird culture when even calling someone's intellect 'average' is kinda.. an insult. Which is bizarre, average means exactly that - average, not stupid or not-smart! And yet, somehow, being average is seen as not smart enough? It's fascinating to me, in a disturbing kinda way.

[@bex--]

MiddayLady it's because if you asked people to rate themselves on various subjects everyone would always rate themselves above average. They'd say they're 70-80 out of 100. It's the same thing that happens when someone assesses the risk of getting cancer. Because it's bad they under value it.

[@drasticheart1461]

If society wanted to be “average” then there’s no competitiveness. And without that then we won’t function...regardless it’s human nature and that’s exactly why we continue to improve or invent or whatever.

[@isabellelariviere2048]

Alright, but how am I going to find a unified theory of quantum gravity by being “average”?

[@leilanidru7506]

drastic heart ur right, the above average people or the need to be unique or better or different fork most is what can drive progression but it’s just a statistical fact. A very few handful of people are the catalyst for the type of societal change and progression u speak of. Not everyone is gonna be a Steve Jobs, Beyoncé, mahatma ghandi, founders of whatever 10 companies that pretty much rule the world like google, amazon, Apple etc. statistically, most people are just average and people take it as an insult because it’s interpreted as being mediocre or just being in the middle can sometimes be worse than being one or the other. But most people are of average height, intelligence, beauty, etc etc. that’s just how it goes😌

[@oysterhunter276]

MiddayLady it really isn't a 'cultural' thing. It's human nature to want to be better than our peers and to be seen as special. Nothing unusual about that

[@martelraykin]

Self-sabotage too. I'm so scared of failing that i tend to not try that much, because if I fail while not really trying I have a reason, if I fail and I was actually trying hard, I just feel like I'm a failure. I wasn't even labeled as Gifted by schools because the label doesn't exist in France (really fast-learning kids just "skip" a grade), but people always called me that to the point where I believed it and made my whole identity about not having to work to succeed. In France the average grade to succeed is 10/20 (so 50%), I used to feel really bad if I had less that 15 (75-80% ish).

[@augnasooter2924]

It’s not like we can talk about this either, people would honestly think we’re pathetic lmao “aw must suck to be smart🙄”

[@lindsay8141]

Honestly tho and when your "gifted" and you get an average test score and everyone is like "oh i guess your not smart" like honey what? Or when people are like "must be nice to be perfect" "teachers pet";;;;

[@ten1390]

@@lindsay8141 Yeah, I'm always pressured because I don't want to get a low grade and I don't want people telling me "guess your not the smartest". One time back in 3rd grade I had a gotten a 86% (I wanted to cry because I hated getting any grade lower than A) and some other kid had gotten a higher score than me. As soon as the teacher said he had gotten the highest score everyone looked at me and I could tell by their faces they were thinking "oh she's not as smart as we thought" or "She must've gotten a bad grade".

[@lindsay8141]

@@ten1390 bruhhhh I felt that in my bones..

[@fuckyouwhoevertookmyname]

Same, considering that I got really upset with the two classes I was failing so badly and fell apart in front of my friends because I was so afraid of failing, to which they comforted me and I appreciate them for that ;-; Edit: I also tried to get in a good high school but didn't get in at the end because it's highly competitive, I felt stupid and just decided to go to the one basically everyone in my middle school was going to even if I had a second chance to get in (the math test was rigged anyway, they were mostly "basic algebra" but it felt like advanced algebra to everyone, not just me lmao. Some kids were like "oh that was easy" in a snarky tone but were literally the ones sweating bullets 😂)

[@akaneve478]

Yeah totally. I had this one friend who got better grades than me when she stayed up all night playing video games and just looked over the study guide once before class. Man, I was so angry but didn't want to say anything cuz I wanted to be a good friend. And her sister (twin) was one of the smartest people in the grade and she had such bad ocd and anxiety from school she had to switch

[@TaterKakez]

You had me at the thumbnail “if you were considered a “gifted” kid in school, there’s a 100% chance you’re depressed now. *how’d you read my mind like that?*

[@SahloFolina2161]

She read all our minds.

[@dontmindme652]

I've actually seen that crying for no reason is a sign of depression. Guess who does that 🤠

[@revemooaena]

yea i feel depressed now LOl but not thr real i mean the feeling, online school is hard for me cuz what if i have no internet? and what if my laptop broke? yep i just got my first 2 Bs now LOl i was a "gifted" student, until somethings wrong with my wifi/laptop and i cant remember as much as i do now lol, i did way better back then without studying than whn i stuided idk why

[@harpynii428]

Not all em r like that but they dont watch yt. Like stfu monica we all know

[@siri7228]

Haha same

[@jasminetea4548]

remember spelling tests? I usually got As. but I got 75% ONE time and my teacher writes “what happened?” and a FROWNY FACE. like are you kidding me? I’m in 5th grade, can’t I not do well on one test?? and knowing 75% of anything isn’t bad. as you can see a freaking spelling test from 5th grade stuck with me. and btw I can’t spell for my life now

[@ollie2111]

Dude I feel you, sometimes things seem small but they leave a huge impression. That's annoying when teachers do that, I don't think they realize how much that puts panic into students. "Oh I didn't get an A+ and now the teacher is reactive badly?!" It puts you on edge. Sorry that stuck with you! :( I'll tell you, in my life a C+ felt like an A 😂

[@snarkyfoxy67]

Yes! I would pass every test with a 💯. The one word I could never do was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious That word cause me to get a 95. And my teacher was like 'what happened?' I felt like a complete failure after that.

[@yehgaby]

something similar happened to me in 6th grade. i always got a high score on tests but one time my teacher was revealing everyone’s score on a math test in front of the class, and said that i got something around 80% (and if you ask me that’s a good score) and was like “(my name) you got a lower score than usual”

[@cat-dk3ql]

5th grade, I got an 87 on a math test and the classic “what happened?” And the sad face too! Generally, my math skills weren’t as strong as the rest of my skills, so I grew up always doubting myself with math.

[@Hobgoblintroubadour]

jasmine tea honestly, same. I learned English as a second language and I love speaking in it, writing in it, whatever. I’m even going to school to become a translator. But whenever i don’t do as well in my exams as I expect i end up questioning wether or not im actually fit for what i want to do in life. Its even worse when i realize that i havent really thought of any other options if translating doesn’t work out.

[@classicalsheetmusic1986]

Ah yes, me. The "gifted" student. The gifted student that got higher in the education system, and realized that I was below normal for their standards. Me, the "gifted" student, who apparently doesn't like anything and just likes to study. Ah yes. The truly gifted only study. And when their grades get lower than usual, you immediately ask them: "What's wrong? You've been doing worse recently", because by telling a child that they've been shit is the best way to comfort them.

[@legalfictionnaturalfact3969]

It's not that you're below their standard, it's that you're above them. The education system needs students to be completely mediocre and believe a bunch of nonsense that's taught in class even if it doesn't fit together logically. And the teachers are Mighty angry at students that are already more intelligent than they are.:-)

[@sanafarooq9828]

So what is the correct way to broach bad grades? I just want to know for my kid

[@stal-blue455]

@@sanafarooq9828 don't be an asshole about it

[@scottsherman5262]

@@sanafarooq9828 I find this subject so interesting. I'm a 46yo father of five amazing kids, (4) are biologically mine. My non-bio boy (#4 of 5) is the only one of our kids who struggles in school, & it is difficult at times as his Dad. I was in GATE as a kid in CA, & school/college was very easy for me. Our oldest is in Berkeley now, & #4 says he doesn't want to go to college (he's 12yo). Part of me worries for him, as I know the stats for the undereducated, but part of me doesn't worry at all, because of who I know him to be...he's quite gifted socially. He'll be fine, & in the meantime, when he comes home with an F & a D, along with a couple B's and an A in something like PE on his progress report...we identify how he can get those really low grades up, & it typically works...when he's properly trying/focused, he's able to get slightly above average grades, & that's enough for us as his parents because we know he's just working with different software relative to his siblings, & we know that school isn't everything. Now, for those who say school doesn't matter because of this & that anecdote. Wrong. How one does in school most often does correlate with how they'll do in life (earnings, etc.), but it's just a correlation, not a death sentence. Encourage your kid, give him/her the tools they need to actually improve enough, & then be happy with it...& let them know you're happy with it/them.

[@salemcrow5078]

@@scottsherman5262 College definitely isn't as important as it used to be. He should look into trade careers, they earn a TON of money and will take anyone right out of highschool and train them. A lot of the trade folk will be retiring in the next decade or so, so I think it might be a good fit for him. And if you haven't already, possibly get him seen for ADHD or autism. My life would've been so much easier if anyone had tested me when I was younger ...

[@maddy00]

Too much competition? Don’t even get me STARTED with Kahoot-

[@marymarier6882]

tell me about it

[@ALu-nq8rf]

What's Kahoot? I was only able to find some game learning program.

[@re_lamb]

A. Lu it’s a quiz website they use in schools to make classmates compete in trivia

[@devynlyman2947]

Omfggggg teeeeaaaa

[@sydw1173]

Kahoot was anxiety inducing 🙄

[@agus464]

When i was in primary school, teachers would tell everyone that i was the example. I was shy, always getting 10s on exams... So my teachers used to talk about me with the other students like i was the role model. And how it ended up? With me, getting bullied, with zero friends, sad, criying all day... When i started secondary school i just didn´t know how to talk to people or make new friends, because i was too scared. And also putting high expectations on myself on EVERYTHING (even hobbies) that made me so anxious. Took me five years of therapy to get over it. And i still have to fight with my insecurities every single day. So yes, being the "gifted student" kinda messed up my whole life

[@youraveragemusicperson2176]

That happened to me in elementary school too :(

[@frogonaburger]

tw/// same. it fucking sucks. i’m top of my school rn, but it comes with the consequences of no one liking you, no friends, crying when you don’t get an 100, and people bullying you. it was so stressful to the point that i attempted suicide. it’s crazy, and we shouldn’t have to be treated like that.

[@catherynng4060]

I can relate to this so well ⊙~⊙

[@sofiakhan1917]

I’m “gifted” but this doesn’t happen to me, I really hope that you’re ok .. :)

[@plastictoast9931]

Kinda same here. I suffer a „depression like„ feeling. The cause has been that our choir teacher for whatever reason always made me sing solo's and people were jealous and bullied me. I'm getting better though and even have some plans for the future. Love to all of you and I hope you get well!

[@dreamcat2693]

It really hurts when my I tell my friends my grade and they go: "Oh, I'm surprised I got a higher grade than you!" or something of that sorts.

[@jedithekitten8891]

dreamcat Yep! Every. Single. Time.

[@a.carneirozhu8104]

My friends are always telling little anecdotes of how their parents keep comparing them to me, or how they hate being friends with somebody who always gets full marks, or how 'omg, you're so smart, I'm so dumb'. I'm a sucker for compliments, but it really makes me feel genuinely uncomfortable and guilty when they use it to drag themselves down, or when I'm just average at something, pull themselves up. I can't even address it because it would make me out to be a narcissist. :(

[@wrcstrshit]

ughhhh, my memories are hurting me

[@stephanieverbeek3989]

yes I know exactly how that feels my friends always compare their grades with mine and if they're better than me i always feel so degraded or sumn idk

[@bye1734]

i felt that

[@aleena8487]

I’m not a gifted student but the fact schools called the class “gifted” like kids in the class were better then average kids. I didn’t pay much attention back then but now I know how messed up it is how the school systems divide students who are faster at learning.

[@corkyxbrake2935]

Fr i was considered a “gifted kid” I had things go on in my life and I got out and I felt like a dumb person like I was useless and the gifted kids were above me but school really sucks for that :/

[@TheJacklikesvideos]

What's messed up is holding smarter students back at the pace of the rest of the class, not differentiating students and filling their specific needs.

[@GTAmaniac1]

@@TheJacklikesvideos my elementary school didn't have an advanced learning program so I'd often not pay attention in class because i didn't need to with how easy it was for me, i never did any homework and as such developed no work ethic, i went to one of the most difficult high schools in my country and even there i only had to study for subjects like latin, biology and history. Of those 3 i only enjoyed history and even then i only had to read the chapters once to get a good grade, biology and latin were a chore to study and no matter how much i read the chapters i still could only barely pass. The only type of homework i actually did in high schools are those 20-40 minute presentations and essays on a certain topic. I really enjoyed presenting without a script even though I struggle in normal conversation. Now I'm in first year of college and I'll try to get a work ethic

[@accountan0nymous284]

When everyone tells you that you need to study and your just sitting there like what the heck you want me to do I don't know how to study?

[@peiithos]

And then when you get bad grades you panic and you dont know how to put in effort and you just feel horrible.

[@hillietyfae]

I am 14, and now i know about all this i am learning to study and be more focused before is late.

[@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195]

exactly! school used to be so easy and now i don't have any study habits

[@Astlay]

Yep. College kicked my ass because of that...

[@leelee1782]

THIS

[@bublex5270]

FINALLY SOMEONE TALKED ABOUT THIS I was marked gifted now I struggle with social anxiety and i hate myself/have low self worth whenever I don’t have a perfect grade thus I have immense stress. Plus being told you’re that the reason you do well is because you’re smart instead of because you’re a hardworker makes you have lower motivation

[@devon8342]

at my school they noticed that the "gifted" kids had lower motivation than everyone else... I WONDER WHY so they sat us down and told us about how we needed to work harder. It didn't really do anything.

[@urbestamericanboy6457]

We don't have a gifted program but we are organised in sets/levels based on your learning speed in english,math,literature,french and science and there is a select club called "critical thinkers" but other than that we don't have an accelerated program I understand where you're coming from despite never being put in any program. I come from a family of academic achievers and that includes cousins too so I've always felt a lot of pressure to succeed and also being the oldest kid in my family means I have so much pressure to excel so it does always feel like the person who is probably the most critical of me is me and I always feel like I need to put in 110%.

[@pollyjones5709]

Bublex literally same sometimes I even work hard in subjects I was ‘gifted’ in and I get bad grades, like worse than my classmates :( for example English, back when I was 11 I had already read all the books we were studying a few years back. now I’m getting shit grades because I dunno how to work hard/ improve :(

[@wordart_guian]

One thing if you were a gifted "student", unless misdiagnosed which is rare, you become a gifted adult. I did not say "famous Genius", I said "gifted adult.

[@cf8415]

I was always put in gifted programs when I was young... now whenever I’m not good at something immediately I give up, and I actually avoid our gifted program.

[@cool870]

i was reading at a college level in fourth grade and now i’m an illiterate sophomore edit: the thing that i hate the most is when you’re labeled as the smart kid in class, and then you do bad on a test. people always ask you what grade you got and then they’re like “OH MY GOD I DID BETTER THAN YOU!!” and i’m just like “thanks sharon i was already feeling pretty shitty over this grade but now i feel worse” edit: hi im a junior now and this year has fucked me over even more edit: hi i’m a senior now and i cried over calculus today. it’s going well.

[@syra1541]

wow story of my life

[@i.8231]

sarah rl plsss

[@emilyelizabeth7062]

Same.

[@idqn]

this is so me, anyone have any comebacks to say to those shitty people?

[@spshm7748]

Wow me

[@nancyblockcolsky1387]

Back in the day, we were taught that to be academically gifted, you had to be 3 standard deviations above “normal.” I was a freak in elementary and middle school. The gifted program saved my life. Also, being allowed to sit in a corner and work with a partner at our own pace was so exhilarating. People who gave me IQ tests usually gave me strange looks, because my answers were totally not what they were expecting. Also, my academic giftedness was so far beyond my emotional maturity. You’re so right about holding ourselves to a higher standard. I returned from a week at camp and learned that someone important to me had died, then had to take the ACT the next day. I was so disappointed in my 30, but my dad, a high school guidance counselor, would never have understood, so I didn’t ask to be allowed to take it again. Expect to be immediately good at anything? Spot on.

[@Swenthorian]

Really resonate with the first half of that. Especially the emotional maturity part, my goodness.

[@missbriteside6598]

Being called “gifted” and knowing that there are kids in universities just makes me feel like I wasn’t “gifted” enough. It made me have such unrealistic standards.

[@missbriteside6598]

99 overall Stoner Of course that’s also a factor but regardless, I was still insecure due to being compared a lot for being a “gifted” kid.

[@janeakindele-abe6855]

@FlyingMonkies325 it's so weird how i can relate so much to someone i don't even know and is 12h, give or take, from me.

[@fullcapsethan]

,,, my parents used to tell me stuff like "that should be you"

[@fullcapsethan]

@FlyingMonkies325 thank you! i'm currently on the brink between young and old, and managed to not get peer pressured by my parents to go to a science school when i want to go to an art school

[@musiktranen]

So relatable, like, I am 14 y.o. and gifted, but when I see a 12 y.o. kid graduate I feel destroyed.

[@sweetpotato1896]

me, a "gifted" kid who doesn't actually know how to study, watching this video: 👁👄👁

[@Aida-tu9pc]

I think that's one of the side effects of being ''gifted'' because in elementary school is the time you begin to learn to study. So when you're ''gifted'' you have no reason to study at home and therefore when you need to study in higher grades (middle school, high school, etc) you don't know how to and you have no motivation.

[@tadbitsketch]

Same

[@ssolkie2957]

Yeah ur not gifted lol

[@Skag_Sisyphus]

Learn how to study. Having to learn to study in college is s nightmare

[@Aida-tu9pc]

@@Skag_Sisyphus This is why I'm slowly trying to adjust into spending more of my free time on studying even if i don't necesarily need to (apologies for bad spelling)

[@hafsaabdi7721]

This video hit me hard. I was that one gifted child who never studied and yet still got straight A's until eighth grade.

[@morganbrooke8922]

Hafstheone_ me too and now I’m in high school and I don’t understand how some people study until the day before the test

[@spookpatchy]

Morgan Brooke please stop. I know youre so smart without even studying, but not everyone is like that. I'm not sure if it makes other people feel bad when someone brags about intelligence, but it makes me feel really bad. not everyone is as lucky as you.

[@justlia0]

@@spookpatchy umm I don't think they are trying to brag..

[@sikisiki7458]

• sᴛᴀʀᴄʜᴀsᴇʀ • lol she wasn’t bragging she was just describing her despairing test knowledge

[@unboiledegg5765]

Yes

[@platannapipidae9621]

i always was "gifted but lazy". it made me extremely arrogant untill the mid of middle school, but when my grades started dropping my self-esteem got low.

[@platannapipidae9621]

upd: turns out, i had mixed anxiety and depression disorder for years now.

[@Dany_lop]

People are so quick to make fun of art degrees and art students as they whip out their graphic novels, comic books, watch their favorite movies with excellent vfx art, watch their favorite tv shows, play their favorite video games, listen to music etc...... Hunny.

[@bex--]

Daniela Morera I kinda look down on art degrees because you don't need to go to college for that. Most amazing online artists today never went to an art school because they couldn't afford it and they're honestly better off.

[@sundriedmandarins]

@@bex-- Art degrees cover a wide range of subjects. Just because there are some successful "online artists" doesn't erase the fact that many people employed in art related fields do hold art degrees.

[@bex--]

Sundriedmandarins my point is an art degree doesn't say you're a good artists. The quality of your work does.

[@sundriedmandarins]

@@bex-- That's true for anyone with any degree in any field. Your original point was that you look down on art degrees because "you don't need to go to school for that". Many art related jobs look for an art related degree and expect quality work. so

[@bex--]

Sundriedmandarins That's pretty dumb a degree is more important than a portfolio.

[@carmen_rose_444]

as a current “gifted child”, i wouldn’t call myself special or smart, i’m just pressured more then other kids by my parents and teachers because i’m a workaholic and they see the work my standards create and assume it’s natural talent and not an obsessive habit to validate myself.

[@ollie2111]

I'm so sorry :(

[@heyitsshai2010]

Oh my gosh I relate to this so much! I think I do have some natural aptitude for school, but a lot of it is my perfectionism and anxiety coming through making me spend hours on school papers or projects

[@racerdgs]

I'm a gifted student but I'm a lazy ass mf but I'm pressured by my mom to get 100s on everything

[@absolutetrash8118]

S a m e Im a complete idiot, but im such a perfectionist and stressed out so much that i have high grades anyway. Now all my teachers think im super smart and i have 3 AP classes and multiple honors, including an extra afterschool honors

[@Tina06019]

I am naturally smart person, but my significant success in school and my profession is more a result of my obsessive hard work and perfectionism. I wouldn’t have had to work so hard if I really had been some kind of a genius.

[@millyrobinson5757]

also as a "gifted" student, its like everyone identifies me by that. when im introduced to someone, its "oh thats milly, shes really smart". it just makes people hate me. like no, i have a lot of other interests. and when i tell people i like other things, like fashion, makeup and bullet journaling, they dont believe me because i can only study apparently :(

[@vkookforever1079]

Same.People don't believe me when I say I haven't completed my assignments or when I say I am on the internet majority of the time. LIKE MY WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND STUDYING

[@jayus2033]

Awwww boo hoo.

[@brtzz2388]

@@jayus2033 what the fuck??

[@zariamonet7782]

@@brtzz2388 lol Jayus is the type of person that thinks smart people have no problems💀

[@Inkay257]

Same, when I turned 10 I had a birthday party and all the gifts were stationary (especially pens and pencils) because I was "smart" and a "good student" so I would appreciate them.

[@Pinamodada]

I read the hobbit over the course of 3 months when I was 5, and remembered it so well that when I watched the movie about a month or two after finishing it, I could recite the dwarves song word for word. Now, almost a decade later, I still love reading, but I can rarely pick up a book because of my phone addiction and ridiculous amounts of toiling and unnecessary school work

[@sj_88088]

I have an experience similar to this and I’ve gone back to audio books. The audio books helped me feel encouraged to try a book. The first few books I picked up took me months to finish. Then I finally found a “mind candy” book that I connected with and I finished it in two days. You CAN enjoy books again even if it’s only audio books. 10/10 would recommend

[@reaper253]

Same

[@jemmaandrew9762]

going into 11th grade like: damn I need to learn how to study edit: lol this is concerning guys.

[@guadalajuraan]

Never studied before

[@mxngaka]

Stop stalking me, this is far too accurate for me to be okay with omg.

[@angelacyrlin8322]

LITERALLY SAMEEEE i didn't.study at all until I got to 9th grade

[@tidalvii8640]

SAME I am in middle school and they made the curriculum this year like ten times harder and I went into my “gifted” class and the teacher was like “The curriculum is a lot harder this year and I know all of you used to be able to walk in a room with no preparation take the test and get a 100% this is not the case, you better learn to study or you will fail aka for you the dreaded B.”

[@ameliewilson6673]

Junior year sucks. I’m having to learn to study this year solely because I decided to take AP Physics. I knew I would hate it, but, being the perfectionist that I am, I would’ve beat myself up all year if I didn’t take every AP class that was offered to me. Now I’m drowning with work in a course I detest and my grade is just barely clinging to an A. Kill me now.

[@feriel9961]

I've been always labeled as a "gifted" student. Always top of my class in every subject. So, no one would care for my future, even if I was just a teenager. All of my teachers would go "oh, I don't worry about you, you are a gifted student !". I wanted to pass a very, very, very selective national exam. And, as everyone was seeing me as "gifted", no one ever helped me building a back plan, in case I wouldn't succeed. But of course I would succeed, I'm a gifted student ! And... I failed. I didn't pass the exam, mainly because I discovered I was studying for it only because everyone kept telling me I was a gifted student so I HAD to go for this exam. When it was absolutely not what was a good match with either my personality and my aspirations. So failing was super hard, even harder because it was my first failure. And harder because everyone around me would keep telling me they don't understand why I failed "but you are so clever how could you fail". That's the worst feeling in the world. And now ? I am over qualified to get a job, I'm unemployed and can't find a job because I'm either too good or not with the correct diploma to get a job. Yeah, gifted student. Great.

[@anneschaeffer7977]

I clearly remember my first failure. When I was 15 I applied to United World College, an international IB program combined with social work located in 15 schools all over the world. Only 20 people from my country were accepted every year and there were 3 rounds of selection. I passed the first round (existing of a 7-page application form plus a similar form from my parents, a teacher and a dean) and got into the last 50. The second round was a day with all the other selected kids, including lots of teamwork games, a debate and an interview. I was very intimidated by all these other kids that were a much better fit for the program than I was, even though I was so sure before that I would get accepted since I thought it fit me so perfectly. My interview didn't go so well and I got rejected. It was really hard for me, but in the end I ended up taking a gap year travelling after high school, so I could still experience other cultures in the way that I wanted to do. Looking back, the program was very competitive and had a lot of toxic perfectionism, so I am honestly glad I didn't get in (of course it's easy to say that as a justification but whatever). Anyways, the sooner you really fail in life, the better, I think. It puts you in the spot and makes you resilient and work harder for your achievements. Now after two years of uni I can finally say that I'm starting to become disciplined and being prepared to put in effort into understanding things that are not naturally easy for me.

[@Schylove12]

You know you’re an ex-gifted student when you remember every non-a grade you ever got on a report card 10 years after you graduate high school.

[@thekingoffailure9967]

I put a ton of effort into a book report in gr10. I was really busy doing my usual heavy load of extra curriculars, student council ect. When I handed the essay in I was proud. It came back with a note that said "This was really well written, but you didnt answer the question properly, so I could only mark your spelling/grammar." All that effort, the essay WAS good, bad marks. Made me realize that the marks were all nonsense numbers that didnt actually reflect the work I put in, or how well I understood the book we read. All this time I was "the hardest worker" because my marks were high. Made me wonder if my classmates that were "worse students" than me were truly "less smart" or "lazy," or if they were just being judged for human error or not understanding, instead of being judged by their intelligence. Needless to say it turned my life upside down.

[@tealyan]

when i was in elementary school i had straight a's,except for one time when my teacher gave me an f.i don't even know why i got it but i can still remember that f to this day

[@MysticOceanDollies]

I cried when I got my first (and thankfully only) B in my sophomore math class. To make it worse, it was an 89%.

[@tessahampton3087]

I got an 81 on a Spanish test three years ago and it haunts me to this day

[@thxu4_the_venom657]

im in late middle school and i just got my first b a few weeks ago, i had a mental breakdown sure but im feeling better about not always getting a's now :)

[@starhill6792]

I was a “gifted student” I never knew how to work for ANYTHING in my life, and that’s something I’m reckoning with now at 22. My family was super poor and they were ashamed to have me in gifted programs since it was mostly rich kids. Also I am now hyper competitive AND a perfectionist to a fault. It’s horrible. I so very much relate to all of the faults of being a gifted student. I often wanted to just be normal with the normal amount of pressures.

[@emmywarren5009]

The number of times I've heard "I'll accept a B, but I know you can get an A" has slowly melted my brain.

[@reneevincett]

FR

[@MeltdownCas]

I SAY THAT TO MYSELF ALL OF THE TIME! Every time I have a test or something I’m like “ok... this is how many questions there are.... this is how many I can miss and still be happy with the grade”

[@erngaming]

If I get a b i will instantaneously die

[@MeltdownCas]

@@erngaming Exactly If I see a number below a 90 I instantly just destroy myself

[@emmywarren5009]

@@MeltdownCas and the worst part is that I can’t blame my parents! I impose these impossible standards on myself and I can’t seem to stop!

[@melovemlpfim]

You know what's also fun about being a 'gifted' student in primary education and then being told you're average in secondary education? Imposter syndrome. I genuinely cannot fathom that anything I've done is because I perhaps put in the work, but that I just got lucky. Me being good at something? Guess I just got lucky, it can't be because I put in the work for once.

[@finner_1415]

Mathilde Boersma bro same

[@jauxro]

dat external locus tho

[@ravencollins5638]

"c'mon you're an honors student, you can do better" I didn't ask to be one, you threw me into this because I got lucky one time, now I'm depressed, grounded and about to kick the chair

[@thekingoffailure9967]

Looking back now that I'm 20, I swear that 80% of the stress in my childhood was caused by my parents teaching me how to read from an early age. "OMG LOOK HE CAN READ SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHERS (who were basically reading full sentences for the first time.) Lets call him Mr. Gifted Smart Kid Who's Better Than The Rest! I'm sURE this wont affect his social standing at all."

[@hetsteills2748]

fucking. this.

[@masterpig5s]

Mmhm

[@enchanteddreams7532]

Exactly. I DID SUMMER SCHOOL THIS YEAR BECAUSE MY FUCKING PARENTS DIDNT WANT ME IN REGULAR MATH WHERE I BELONG, now I’m in accelerated, when I crashed in last year.

[@YourMom_._]

This was all the way up to the first half of 10th grade for me. I'm now in 12th, with a shit load of anxiety, depression, and a mental disability that people to this day still don't understand. 🙃

[@turntech_godhead]

thank you SO MUCH for mentioning the effects of not being labled as gifted, i thought i was going to have to beg you to mention it sometime in another video because i never hear anyone talk about it. gifted kids seem to get all of the attention, and if you arent people just dont care about your struggles. i have several learning disabilities and everything in school was incredibly hard for me. even getting passing grades in the lowest level classes was a challenge, and i wasnt always able to even do that. i have a HUGE grudge against all gifted kids because i grew up feeling worthless and hating myself so much, and now theyre all crying about how hard their lives are. i feel VERY STRONGLY about this topic and get ridiculously worked up about it. i even chose not to watch this video since i first saw it a year ago cause i knew i would get so mad and it would ruin my whole week but to my surprise you made it very well! the fact that you acknowledge how it gave you sort of a superiority complex and are very humble, and even MENTION that non-gifted kids have just as difficult and painful problems filled me with so much relief. any time this topic comes up i feel an uncontrollable moral obligation to defend myself and other "non-gifted" people and let people know how horrible it feels to be the "stupid kid" your whole life, and every time i do it gets little to no interaction or attention and makes me feel even WORSE. i seriously thought i was going to have to dm you somewhere and ask you if you would ever consider talking about non-gifted or disabled kids that struggle in academics. so when i checked the timestamps and saw that you were already going to i was OVERJOYED. anyway sorry for the rant, like i said i feel very strongly about this topic. thank you again (and if you ever did decide to make a video about my fellow non-gifted people i would probably cry no pressure just a suggestion)

[@Dekunutcase]

More than one person told me as a kid that I'd cure cancer when I grew up. I almost had an anxiety attack. I can't live up to that standard.

[@sincerelyve8318]

Dekunutcase unrealistic expectations twin! My grandpa wants me to figure out how to control gravity, and has wanted me to since I was 6. I’m now extremely nervous to talk about my dream of becoming an author and talking about books I’m writing.

[@crispypepperoni2713]

VanillaVeVe aw!! i’m sure you’re a great author, i hope that dream comes true, and one day you’ll get to talk about it without fear.

[@paytonwessells1181]

My parents always told me I should be the first woman president or go on to cure cancer and comments like that are the reason I have had such a hard time coming to the realization of my mediocrity.

[@swedishfish9555]

My relatives always tell me stuff like I’ll invent teleportation, time travel, and be a huge part of Apple, when I know I’m not smart enough for any of that. I also honestly don’t want to do any of that, I just want to make games. :/

[@tidalvii8640]

My parents told me ever since I was maybe 2 or 3 that I would be one of the best doctors the world would have ever seen and I would help cure the common cold or I would become the first women president and now I feel as if I’m a failure, I want to be an actress and this may sound odd but I’m part Asian and most Asian parents worst nightmare is their child having a career in the arts. So all I can think about is how I’ll end up disappointing my parents so I can be happy.

[@formeee53]

As a burned out gifted kid, it hurts so much when you can’t live up to people’s standards anymore. You get used to them coming to you for help and praising you, but eventually their expectations start climbing higher and higher until you break down. It sucks and I’ve seen it happen to a lot of people.

[@trans_vincent]

This year is when I fully burnt out after a few years on the verge of burning out. My minimum expected grades are straight A+s, in the UK we have grades 9-1 with 9 being the highest, you can't have your expected grades set to a 9, but mine are an 8 and the pressure that puts on you is insane, especially when the most commonly said thing about megs is that you can do better than it. I've had multiple breakdowns this year because I just can't live up to expectations anymore, which probably isn't helped by me only thinking I've done well when I surpass people's expectations, making it so anything less than a 9 is basically failiure.

[@formeee53]

@@trans_vincent yeah the feeling of having not accomplished anything unless you did better than what was expected of you

[@sillybilly2008]

same, but still in school and still in gifted, still bottling up emotions of stress

[@pdr_2703]

@@sillybilly2008 You should learn that you'll never reach everyone's expectations. They'll praise you and ask for help but at the end of the day, they don't care about you, they just see you as a tool. Don't let them destroy your emotional part.

[@sillybilly2008]

@@pdr_2703 they don’t ask me for anything, my parents just expect good grades, aka all a’s

[@sweetenlemons8659]

The most painful part is when you fail once and everyone's shocked lmao

[@neerjain9618]

honestly, the prospect of failing is scary and horrible to me as a 'gifted' kid. thx public schools

[@absolutefuckingchaos3785]

yeah. I'm starting to get B's more often now, and my mom says it's "okay" but then she goes on about how I used to get all A's and how I could be doing so much better.

[@mouthshovel]

I currently have a 78 in math, it is an advanced math class, and right now I am scared of how my mom will react when she finds out. I got a kind of bad grade on one test, everything else in the class I have a good grade on.

[@gayfanta9254]

I remember getting a C in 3rd grade. My mom threw a fit.

[@KaterinaSaburova]

I hate that... no one can stand when you fail and you start hating yourself

[@bedrock30_]

As a labeled Gifted and Talented student since the first grade, it really is a curse. I’ve been pressured to get straight A’s all my life and I literally broke down in tears when I got my first B on a test, because I knew I was in trouble.

[@albertreyes9870]

One B isn't the End of the world.

[@bedrock30_]

@@albertreyes9870 Maybe not in your household, but I've been held to very high standards my whole life and anything lower than a 92 will get me in serious trouble

[@kitkatbar-l4o]

I feel this so much. I was a "gifted" child all through high school, and as a result I never learned how to study or take notes or put any kind of effort into learning. So when I was faced with material I didn't automatically grasp I had no idea what to do about it. An on the anxiety end - one time in college I accidentally emailed a paper to the wrong professor and by the time he responded it was a week overdue. I had a complete breakdown, I called my mother and asked her if she'd still love me if I failed out of college. It ended up not even being a big deal, the professor the paper was actually for just told me to forward him my original email so he could see the timestamp and he didn't even dock any points, but the pressure to excel in school was so intense that for a moment I really thought that getting a bad grade on one paper in one class was going to bring my entire life crashing down.

[@gwynethcampbell9889]

Secuhara I'm in school right now and have that exact same anxiety

[@D0MiN0ChAn]

This is honestly so sad. I was never a gifted student by any means (only incredibly lazy, so I didn't really study that much until I was finally in college studying the things I was really interested it, almost flunking out of high school due to my laziness) -- but please don't ever let you giftedness dictate your life and mental health, don't base your identity around that. We're still just human after all, there are so many more important things out there than academics, honestly. You wouldn't be worth any less if you weren't gifted (however awful this might sound right now to any of you). Virtual hugs from Germany, stay strong, you're awesome! 🥳

[@lofn3404]

Secuhara agh same

[@acooke2424]

I was labeled a gifted student when I was younger, but like. I really can't stand alot of the other people that were considered gifted. I go to school with a guy taking university level math in grade 10 and hes one of the rudest people Ive met and he doesnt really have his own brain. The only "critical thinking" he does is choosing which expensive gadget he wants next. Guy literally cried whennhis grade dropped a percent to 99 in science. Gifted students arent all that. Im socially awkward and cant hold a conversation well. The people with low grades who dont give a fuck are really livin their best lives and I wish I was them.

[@arylveonreyes1659]

When a gifted child meets someone more gifted, It truly breaks them *Edit 1:* Being gifted was my form of receiving attention, validation, and love from my parents I came to the realization I wasn't going to be the smartest person. Being smart, was my whole identity up till that point, so that broke me as a child, so now you see? My point in this comment was for me, and for anyone who felt this way too. Remember, there is more to you than just your intellect. You are defined by your character, whatever that may be.

[@a-s-greig]

Unless they hit it off. Having rivals can be just as fun as having friends.

[@ivylilybasket]

Sometimes that person happens to be your younger sibling. Then you can't escape anywhere.

[@trans_vincent]

I still think about the girl who was in all my classes for two years, two years ago, and how she was slightly better than me at everything. She would always get grades slightly higher than mine in every subject other than music, but at that point I had been playing piano for 5/6+ years, she was athletically talented as well and was even in my gymnastics class I worked incredibly hard to get into and then struggled in so much that I quit, and she was a much nicer person than me as well. I literally couldn't hate her for it because she was too nice and to this day everyone makes fun of me because of it saying I have a crush on her and all that shit. I was so intensely competitive with her and then she passes entrance exams for all 3 private schools near us with flying colours and goes to private school two years ago and I still get mad and want to cry when I think about it.

[@hellohowareyou9745]

@@trans_vincent Honestly, the same thing happened. I soon moved schools though to a much harder school where everyone was gifted. Oddly enough, I felt better about myself when I moved to the harder school since I felt less competitive because straight A's were the norm, so getting more just felt pointless. It allowed me to focus more on other academic and athletic pursuits oddly without feeling stressed since I knew that I didn't need to get perfect scores on every test since that'd be pointless. Honestly though, that is exactly my story except for the part where I switched schools lol.

[@isabellahomberger5030]

It's terrible. Especially when that more gifted kid points out that you're suboptimal.

[@claudiajade624]

I think the main issue with being labelled 'gifted' or a 'child protegy' is that realising ur just a regular/'normal' adult person can be more of adjustment than usual.

[@themoonkeeper271]

Prodigy*

[@raviollidraws2012]

Lol

[@samanthar5085]

I wasn’t the “gifted student” but among my friends and stuff I was just the smart a** the one who always did their homework and was often taken advantage of. I had so many “friends” that were there just to get homework answers. It’s rlly messed up

[@multifandom7168]

Yep, had ppl want homework answers cuz I was one of the smartest

[@Sara-rj5gi]

What’s really fun for self esteem is when all of your siblings were “gifted” but you weren’t

[@thescenesociety]

Sara ohhhhh that does suck 😮 can’t imagine

[@xero1049]

Try having a twin brother who gets better grades than you.

[@saralin682]

Straight up! That’s why I became a perfectionist!

[@Bianca-df9pz]

Well, this is sorta weird in our house. I don’t want to come off as bragging, but I get a lot better grades than all my siblings, and can be labeled gifted. Other than this, I have literally no talents. All my other siblings are great at singing, sports and a bunch of other stuff, and there were a lot of competitions they won. Since there was pretty much nothing where I lived to make anyone proud academically, I grew up kinda jealous of their talents as at family events all anyone would talk about was how great they were. So yeah, that didn’t help my self esteem but now several years later they say they always were jealous of my grades. That was interesting 😂

[@moonkissedhips]

Or you and your siblings were all "gifted" and when you're the youngest you eventually get all the teachers your older siblings had and the teachers compare you to them constantly whether they mean to or not

[@Shibexx]

"feel pressured to stay in academics forever" hit me in the face bc starting my senior year of college going thru a crisis and realization that I will have to go and work so I start considering grad school as a way to avoid that

[@emilyb.8219]

I graduated college in 2018 and am still terrified of the adult working world. It's fucked with my life a lot tbh. If I could've afforded it, I might've gone to grad school to postpone the inevitable.

[@generic_flower]

Omg ME!!! I'm a second year and even the THOUGHT of graduating a quarter early terrifies me (because unless i get a minor, that will be the case)

[@basedmarxist1762]

I knew a girl who was “gifted” when she was growing up in Alabama. When she was approaching her preteen years, she moved to Washington state and was no longer considered “gifted.” She was considered an average student and was enrolled in average classes. It was a huge blow to her self-esteem and it showed her at a young age how terrible Alabama’s public school system is.

[@nyx9382]

The same thing happened to me when I moved from Texas to Missouri.

[@inspectregadget2856]

lmao as a student living in Alabama who was considered gifted, I'm scared of how accurate this is

[@jayus2033]

She got humbled lol. She now feels like what it’s like to be average lmao 😂

[@zariamonet7782]

@@jayus2033 you can still be gifted and average tho…I sucked at math and history but was in gifted for english and science.

[@jules2291]

Yes . I was a 'gifted student' till fifth grade . Awkward , geeky , with tortoise shell glasses - all the stereotypes . And then from middle school on I was suddenly average and went through a bout of low self esteem and fear of failure and nonexistant study habits . It was only in eight grade that I finally discovered myself , I discovered a hidden talent for art and writing and decided to study literature and humanities . And i did get barely average grades that year but I was happier, less burnt out and more confident than before . I developed a better fashion sense and gained a newfound popularity and in the end my future was never as a gifted student but as a quirky average student turned social activist .

[@lofttm969]

I had undiagnosed ADHD until adulthood. When you’re a ‘gifted kid’ with good grades, it doesn’t matter what you tell the psychiatrists about your ability to stay on task, complete things, or find motivation. If your grades aren’t suffering, you fall through the cracks.

[@kayla0792]

I can confirm that as a gifted student: ✅ I literally cannot study ✅ I am a complete over perfectionist (especially w grades ✅ If I’m not good at something I stop trying

[@emmeli5492]

I go to therapy bc i have the same issues aksjdjshdh

[@hexagon_is_best_shape]

I was not in a gifted program per se but can confirm

[@Freakmaster480]

The first and the last are true for me but not the perfectionist part

[@littlesadeo]

Same. I want to be good at art but trying isnt my forte

[@sarahstevens4931]

My school gave us a test but we didn’t do anything. We didn’t have separate classes but if I switched schools then I would’ve

[@tanqgeorg9830]

you basically become "jack of all trades,master of none" as you grow up, you can do almost anything without trying too much but you never actually become "master class" of it, i can kinda play the piano, do math, speak 4 languages etc As you develop you realize why its easy for others to pick a proffesion - they are good t one thing and stick with it until they start making a living from it, but, i dont know what to work as, if i try i can be a surgeon, a lawyer, a painter, or a circus clown???? But am i good enough at anything to actually choose it as a profession? Heck no. Also, hearing "i know you can do better" 24/7 , always a B+ never an A, always good, never great

[@JT-ri2ue]

Damn, this hit me. As I was approaching college and deciding what to major in, all my friends (who usually weren't in gifted programs but that never mattered to us) knew exactly what they wanted. They all went with areas they specifically excelled in. I was always good in all of them, but never *that* good in one specific area. Even when I tried hobbies, I never seemed to be as great as my friends, especially art or creative outlets. I always stuck to reading or languages because I was less likely to fail at that...

[@mclar468]

@@JT-ri2ue With me it was just like that, should I try engineering? literature? history? My mother always complaining that one time I wanted to do one thing and another time something else . It was a nightmare, I only found out what I wanted after a year in economics college

[@JT-ri2ue]

@@mclar468 That's how am. When I was doing applications for colleges, I just picked whatever major I *thought* I'd be good in

[@serendipity9573]

Thank you for summing this up

[@bruhnling33]

I feel called out

[@tapiocaballs4274]

I swear, when there are group projects and all your “friends” want you as a partner just because you seem smart. then end up doing all the work or getting a bad grade because of you didn’t get their help..

[@galaxywhale9391]

Relatable, I was that person and I was that person who group with "smart" kids.

[@moisesm9602]

I'm that smart kid that Everyone wants to work with but I usually just work with my friends because they'll actually help me with the work

[@droidicadd417]

Thats called strategy

[@alyssa5101]

See, the "correct" strategy is to pair up with another smart friend, and then you both do nothing and procrastinate until the last day, and still have a pretty OK project because you're both procrastinator-perfectionists Hasn't failed me yet Maybe don't procrastinate tho

[@nerd_nato564]

@@alyssa5101 Damn. Gotta do that.

[@ElaineStarfall]

When I was in elementary school I was a “gifted” kid because I absolutely loved doing math, but I also have a horrible long term memory so when I went into middle school and school started throwing a bunch of formulas at me my grades started dropping, eventually this started making me not care about my grades to the point where I only cared if I got an F

[@ritaa_532]

Me: Takes a 79 in a test The whole class: Fails The teacher: I expected more from you, you obviously didn't study

[@chrisg.5798]

👏MY👏TEACHERS👏

[@near4316]

we had the same teacher?

[@die2856]

EXSACLY we are "GIFTED" not tony fucking stark level geniuses

[@jmarjim1581]

Sucks your teacher was like that, for us when no one aced a test meant it was the teacher's fault (they either didn't explain correctly or the exam was way too hard).

[@danderson8431]

Thanks to a breakdown in middle school, I went from a “Gifted” student to a “Special Ed” student practically overnight.

[@brandytreadway9755]

I'm a special education teacher. And you can be both. In fact a lot of gifted students are also special education students.

[@marinaneil5814]

Two sides of the same coin. I really recommend checking out Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration - it's basically a psychological theory about gifted kids being predisposed to breakdowns, and that it's not a problem with the kid but a side-effect of the giftedness

[@francescafrancesca3554]

@@marinaneil5814 Makes sense.

[@marinaneil5814]

It's kinda also the flipside to "Ignorance is Bliss" - being gifted pre-disposes you to being aware of suffering, lies, hypocrisy and all the things that are wrong with the world, so of course you're gonna break down

[@emwatchesthings]

me who has autism

[@louloutre]

I feel like in the US, there's this obsession with having a "gifted" child. I was babysitting an 8 year-old little girl in LA when I was a student. She could hardly do her homework and for some reason, her mother was completely convinced she was "gifted" and that she should skip grade. I'm from France, and I was just appalled by the number of parents I've met in the US telling me that their kids were gifted.

[@rokia072]

Yeah France doesn't have any gifted programs do they?

[@louloutre]

@@rokia072 yes we do, of course... but I have never met people telling me their child is gifted. In the US, it happened a few times over a year period. I don't think it's an obsession in France.

[@tehanu1782]

@@louloutre I work in a bookstore in Spain. If I were to believe the costumers, half the kids in my town are gifted. From my day to day experience I get the feeling this might be a white upper-midle class thing.

[@_EvilKam]

Too many people wish they were special little snowflakes. If they can't have that, they hope their child is a special little snowflake.

[@mathildecolls]

je savais même pas qu'on avait l'équivalent du gifted program en France lol. je pensais qu'on donnait juste aux gosses de travail en plus et qu'on leur disait que c'ètait les gosses les plus intelligents et blablabla.. ptdr maintenant j'arrive à peine à faire mes devoirs (chui en 3ème) c'est vraiment éclaté ce système de "surdouè".

[@Meow-nj9et]

Just kind of a vent: I'm in the gifted classes but I'm literally so stupid I want to drop out so bad The sad thing is that I can't because everyone at my school would tease me about it (Knowing that kids at my school are very mean) I forgot basic multiplication facts after 4th grade I have way too high expectations for my age and I'm already going downhill And I'm only in 6th grade 😓

[@serpie2482]

Feel you, it’s a lot of pressure and I want to purposely fail. I don’t want to be in the gifted programs. The kids in there can be toxic thinking their better and the teacher expects you to learn fast.

[@serpie2482]

But you can get through it, even if it sucks. Wish you all the best, internet stranger

[@v.k5417]

I missed it [GT] by 1 point and they do so much cool stuff and I feel inferior when they leave in class to do their stuff. However, I get better grades than all of the GT kids so I don't know why they think they're so smart.

[@xzznnn845]

Hey bro, I can help you with math if yuh want

[@kaintu]

yeah don't worry too much about it too much. comparing yourself to others when you're in a high-level class is definitely not good. if i were to go to harvard and talk to some of the people, i'd feel completely stupid. if i were to go to our elementary school, i'd feel like the smartest person alive. i went through a giant crisis about expectations in 8th grade, but i eventually just got over it and now i'm just having a blast. you always hear "things eventually get better" and i can verify that it's true. of course, when i was in 6th grade, i already knew that, but it truly doesn't hit until after experience it. you're experiencing it. so trust me when i say that it will get better, you just gotta get through it. super cheesy and stereotypical advice, i know, but it's true. just keep going.