This series should be promoted all around the world. For me it comes 40 years too late but at least I can understand now what happened to me.
@JTECreates Жыл бұрын
Better late than never. Stay strong and open. My love to you.
@ScoutGrey Жыл бұрын
peace be with you Dave.
@paulalane8638 Жыл бұрын
I could say the same thing! We aren't dead....there is hope!🙏🤗
@LoverofSunflowernBees Жыл бұрын
I feel the same davco4781 my whole entire life wouldn’t be messed up if the world wasn’t so slow in the Medical Field. Doctors don’t know as much as Tim Fletcher! Yes! I said it, because Tim Fletcher is a genius! I would have a completely different way of thinking and I wouldn’t have made all the mistakes I did if I’d known what was going on with my head!
@mknels1299 Жыл бұрын
Ditto
@jasonlynch654710 ай бұрын
To anyone just stumbling upon this material.. This is the best and most accurate source I have been able to find on these topics. If these videos describe your life’s behaviors that have been controlling your life but you never knew why.. please take the time to watch listen and educate yourself. Good luck on your healing journeys! Remember to focus on progress, not perfection and take everything one day at a time. ❤
@lala50619 ай бұрын
So so true I found him a few days ago it just popped up because of all the good stuff I listen to 😊 im so happy because he really knows what he is talking about 👏🏽
@chrisrendino15296 ай бұрын
I agree. Jives so well with our steps and program of AA
@StephenTheSuipod5 ай бұрын
I just found him today. The truth he is preaching is eye opening. Also thanks for your kind words. We all need encouragement from time to time.
@leavingsight32764 ай бұрын
my
@Ann-kp3qu3 ай бұрын
❤thank you
@junemichaels66686 жыл бұрын
Every single person should be required to watch this entire series. Eye-opening. Incredible. Thank you so much.
@randihope8034 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@sharifahm.79633 жыл бұрын
True, am going through this now. Now i understand why i was living in chaos. Am grateful for finding his videos.
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
Considering his statement [in one of his videos] that, these days, 74 of 100 people have experienced complex trauma... Most of us *need* it. Even if a person is one of the lucky few who was raised by well-adjusted parents, it would help smooth the path with everyone else around them. Listening to these, I understand my struggles like never before. And, even more, I recognize many of these characteristics in some of the [challenging] people I've been around, who I sometimes haven't tolerated the most kindly, and I just want to cry.
@jessii48872 жыл бұрын
I 100% agree. I send to everyone I think can safely take this in.
@Bronislaavv10 ай бұрын
Married people also.
@victoriasage79 ай бұрын
I think we all wish we had this information earlier in our lives… But at least we have it now 🙏
@markgory68474 ай бұрын
NOw is the time.
@sarahjmount9221 Жыл бұрын
Don’t forget TV for escape to fantasy…haha. I was the 7th Brady Bunch sibling! 😅
@AnnaBanana-gz4om9 ай бұрын
I was Samantha from give me a break.lol
@Filibie9 ай бұрын
I was the red power ranger 😂
@sarahjmount92219 ай бұрын
@@Filibie 😂
@setavass4 ай бұрын
That is me, I love ❤️ movies, it takes me away as i am totally absorbed
@jkrakauer8056 жыл бұрын
This is a skilled, experienced, compassionate & really well articulated presentation. Lots of accurate insights which is rare. Only 3k views .. people are missing out. Thanks for sharing though! Nice work.
@sharifahm.79633 жыл бұрын
Indeed they really missing out
@js2010ish3 жыл бұрын
10+ times that now at least
@dirtybomb327 ай бұрын
This needs to be on television 24/7365 running on an infinite loop!
*Catastrophizing:* Your brain switches “If I see signs of danger, I should prepare for the worst” to “If I see signs of danger, the worst *will* happen.” This prevents you from trying new things or taking risks.
@tebogomagz57972 ай бұрын
Does it get better?😢
@Ravengal1012 ай бұрын
@ If they change their outlook, yes. Having safety nets is also helpful. Imagine how the mindset of someone who’s been chronically under-supported would change after they developed a reliable support system.
@yourenough36 жыл бұрын
Anyone whom is interested look up John Bradshaws book healing the shame that binds you. This is a great video and the series of these videos are beyond validating. John Bradshaw is just another helpful and healing book for getting healed and healing toxic shame and insecure attachment. Knowledge is power. ♡♡♡
@robertrichard61074 жыл бұрын
I still got his '80's pbs series on cassette!
@debifambro10394 жыл бұрын
I'm a fan of John Bradshaw too. He made me realize I was carrying my mother's fear and shame.
@reginaarnone48453 жыл бұрын
LIFESAJOURNEY saw Bradshaw in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania 35 years ago. He got a standing ovation when he took the stage.
@SuLawn5 ай бұрын
Thank you. ❤️🙂🙏🤗
@rajanikaur5435 ай бұрын
I've been saying this same message for years yet.im not a physiotherapist
@jodywatson66736 жыл бұрын
Fantasy is believing violence ever comes from a place of love.
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
That is a chilling statement, for sure. 😬😬
@lauraD48656 ай бұрын
Woah, thanks for pointing out that particular version of fantasy. It is necessary, albeit difficult, to accept that truth in order to stop the cycle.
@Jennifer-gr7hn4 ай бұрын
totally trauma bond...and you get addicted to the rollercoaster and the pain...it's really amazing, and very common, and very hidden, and very sad and scary. I was always the truth telling, loud scapegoat needing and verbalizing I needed help -- never got it. I believe it led to, in addition to my autoimmune disease, the worst one being diabetic young. I hated sugar, and was always active....so it doesn't make sense. Along with MTHFR mutation, double copy, but.....man
@Jennifer-gr7hn4 ай бұрын
@@lauraD4865 the more difficult is the process of detoxing, while also the worst time of your life physically as all this came to a head when I died from physical reasons due to medical neglect which reminded me of childhood neglect, which led into adulthood. I was doing well...thought I was...until 45, crashed in many ways. Been at work but so hard, along with other things in life. Really hard.
@ragga786210 ай бұрын
This is great! Both relieving and painful at the same time. Relieving because it explains a lot, but painful because it sheds light to how much work I have to do on myself 😱
@katiemaxwell2485 ай бұрын
I had a meeting at work and we were talking about conscious discipline. The question came up about what we felt when our caregivers were upset, I was the only one that said, "Guilt." The confusion on my coworkers faces was very obvious that they did not have complex trauma. Immediately after I get mad and angry, my mind automatically goes to worrying about abandonment and thinking this relationship is only going to fall apart now. This is a small voice now, but I have been with my husband for 18 years and it is still a whisper. That whisper is wrong, an echo of my childhood.
@KD-yk9wv2 ай бұрын
I've been married for almost 30 and I still have that echo from my childhood.
@TarkMcCoy4 жыл бұрын
"How much anger are you carrying around?" "I don't know. Let me open my Big Bag of Shut-The-F@ck-Up and see what's stuffed in there..."
@sarahjmount9221 Жыл бұрын
Hahahaha! OMG! Good for you, man! 😂
@lala50619 ай бұрын
Bahahahaha 😂🤣
@danwolski3 ай бұрын
Tim is such a wise individual, so much of this not only resonates with me but also explains behaviours of others
@christiethom638610 ай бұрын
This guy has changed my life forever wow wish I would of heard about all this stuff years and years ago
@RealTalk-mq2ug Жыл бұрын
He was my "best friend". We spoke every day. My heart is in so much pain, it physically hurts.
@ShaeWashington-pf5cu7 ай бұрын
I know exactly how you feel 😢 it hurts so much but it’s for the best.
@haimitefera4 ай бұрын
The most thorough, methodical, and clear of any of the sources I’ve found on CPTSD. Thank you! Now to do the work 😅
@rondae71216 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOSH! I'm only 6!! Just kidding. Man, I so wish this info could've come around in the 80's!!!
@Uncleskuncle4205 жыл бұрын
It's amazing though how far they have come in the mental health Feild
@jonathanogrady48545 жыл бұрын
Even the 70's dude👽
@sarahjmount9221 Жыл бұрын
Me, too! I’m 6! lol 😂…and I concur about the 80’s. Why did it take so long for me to find out what the hell was wrong w/me?! More than 1/2 my life is over.
@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry10 ай бұрын
I can't compare them qualitatively, but John Bradshaw's Coming Home series did run on PBS in the 80's and was repeated for decades afterward. He delved into the impact of toxic shame, codependency and dysfunctional family systems.
@mariebrett21798 ай бұрын
Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group (Aca or Acoa).
@randyrice8545 жыл бұрын
Amazing talks. This needs to be in every school and self help group in the world. Thank you all so much
@CynthiaSchoenbauer9 ай бұрын
When you explain trauma that way, it helps A LOT!
@kaygenio21293 жыл бұрын
Thank you for presenting a comprehensive view on complex trauma. I knew things weren't normal at home, but you have been so definitive about how I use my not-really-coping, coping skills.
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
Kay, I love that: "my not-really-coping, coping skills." Well said!! 🤦🎉😂
@danmalone53655 жыл бұрын
My dad was a horribly underdeveloped human being a monster verbally and physically abused his kids daily. My mom, she was riddled with shame and guilt between the two of them they were a dynamic wrestling team who forced their children to eat their sins. Then osmosis kicks in finishing the job.
@007lutherking3 жыл бұрын
Narcissist-codependent couple.
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
I wish you hadn't been raised in that dynamic. It's crazy; if you're hanging in the comments on these videos, you've either had it bad or worse. But, you're here and you're learning. And you're in a place in your life where you could face listening to this. You have Choice. You don't have to live their lives. You can have a nice life for yourself, with or [probably] without them in it. You're aware. You're not trapped, unless by your own choice. I am grateful for that for you. 💗
@danmalone53653 жыл бұрын
Do I believe my mother and father deliberately intended to sabotage their children no it’s just multi generation dysfunctional behavior. The lack of understanding of their own insanity.But that’s how it works we keep passing it on from generation to generation.
@NomNomm60637 ай бұрын
Tim I wish I found you decades ago. Thank you for helping me understand. To my haters, standby for the storm
@jenniferlakhal49752 жыл бұрын
My goodness he’s spot on. Wow just wow. ❤️🔥
@sarahjmount9221 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, he is! So helpful.
@Kuruflower3 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh. Start??? I've been working on recovering memories for 21 years. I have been feeling severely depressed, hopeless, seething angry for a bit, after remembering, resolving, confronting, and accepting this horror. So I looked for ideas of why I feel bad when I've finally come to terms with what happened. I found this series about cptsd. Now I am finding I have some immature, painful, harmful coping mechanisms. I'm exhausted. I don't want to play anymore. This has been unbearable to remember, let alone feel it again through flash backs, in all the various flash back ways. What the hell... Now I'm my own worst enemy? I don't want to play this. I can run away from jerks, but when the jerk is myself.... Now what? Sh#t!!! I don't drink or do drugs. I worry and fester and feel insane. I'm not in recovery. I can't imagine. Best wishes for you all to have an easy blessed uplifting time of it. Do the good. And 'be your own dog'. Be safe. I pray for all of us. I give it up to God. I can't do this myself.
@reginaarnone48453 жыл бұрын
KuruFlower I can relate to what your saying. For me I had to feel the feelings in order to liberate myself from the pain. It's ok to take a breath and be kind to yourself in the process.
@nsmarine20742 жыл бұрын
When we get to the point we give up sometimes that's the best place to be because we can start learning. I can so much identify with you not drinking or doing drugs. I have not either but I suffer from this stuff just the same. The thing on false guilt hit me so hard as I have done that all my life. I feel guilty for everything and everyone and I'm tired of it !!! I also feel for you in how you are feeling. Feeling exhausted is a daily thing for me and I wonder if I will EVER feel normal again as I'm 60 now. I started dealing with things and going to counseling in my 20's and taking anti depressants. I lost over a million dollars worth of property in the 2008 mess with crooked bankers and everything blew up in my face. I've barely been able to cope ever since and had a nervous breakdown then. Now I live in England (beautiful country and people, NHS is AWESOME) BUT my wife has filed for divorce and I'm looking at starting all over again with NOTHING. I want to die, I want to live, I'm too tired to live, it all seems hopeless, one foot in front of the other. God bless.
@despicabledavidshort3806 Жыл бұрын
@@reginaarnone4845 "I had to feel the feelings in order to liberate myself from the pain" perfect, absolutely perfect. I just wrote that in my journal, thank you ❤
@littlewillowlinda Жыл бұрын
Yup, finding out that we've been in our own way all along is painful. We don’t want to cause our own pain, we’ve been trained into it. It’s not fair but I guess nothing really is. I just wish I didn’t have to be so different from everyone else. That distorted thinking really messes things up.
@mariebrett21798 ай бұрын
Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group ( ACA or ACOA). ITS NEVER TOO LATE to heal and live a better life
@badriakhavan56662 жыл бұрын
It is so hard for me to listen to you since I feel like you are describing me in details ...I feel overwhelmed for hours after listening to you ..To me , you are putting a light on my life to get out of the pitfalls of my complex trauma ...Thank you ..Thank you so much ..
@janwisz4070 Жыл бұрын
You are not alone ❤
@doriannemosich2327 ай бұрын
It's never too Late, to have self compassion, self love, self soothing etc.. Be gentle to yourself it's ok to cry too🥳😊🥲😭😜😊😇💕
@timc2493 Жыл бұрын
Spot on Hits home. Never had any information like this. Explains so much
@sixx13313 ай бұрын
I've been in therapy for decades and wish one of them would have taught me this. Tim has literally changed mine and my fiancee's life by understanding what we were both doing. Absolutely amazing teaching, this should be taught in Jr. High!!!! Please spread this knowledge everyone!!!! Praise GOD thank you for blessing us all with Tim ❤❤
@Wszystko_minie10 ай бұрын
Your Great. I have this same like the person up. I'm 40 but at least Im understand what's is happening with me every day. I can't any more to handled that pain and sadness inside of me and I don't know what to do anymore. You are my number one. And you have also so much of empathy and understanding that I have never seen by any doc. I have 7 diagnoses, 4 countries. Never nobody have said me what's wrong with me, why do I feel that way. You. You. You. Thank you. You have save me before my die, a d that was my dream to understand what going on. Now I need to change that some way alone because the doctor's I have go true, they don't know too much or they just not interested to help, or they are cold, or they are just don't understand themselves what's happening. Oh my God, thank you so much that you have make that channel and you share with the people just for free not like the another one. Thank you. I will be grateful to you till I die. Thank you and wish you all the best. God bless you and your family
@BaharBolourian6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your accurate and complete description!
@LoverofSunflowernBees Жыл бұрын
Oh and Tim Fletcher , this just isn’t children escaping into a fantasy world in their rooms. It’s what I’m doing and I’m 52. Still stuck living with my CPTSD mom and I have it too! She is 78 and dying like you speak of and I’m about close to that or doing drugs! I’m at high risk of being homeless too! I’m Trying to get help and have got it from all the wrong therapists! And I’m praying you see my comment or someone does that can contact you! I’m one you haven’t met yet. I’ve got a very unique situation with my single parent mother! I’ve never met another person with a mother quiet like mine and another with a severely disabled brother that is like my brother and he is the entire world to my mother and I am nothing.. and treated like nothing, I’m invisible most of the time in this house not only by my mother but my daughter and son who also have complex trauma! We all messed up here! In this Sunshine state. We all need help here a lot more in Sunny Calif! This entire state..
@onlyrealstuff97042 жыл бұрын
This man is a gem
@pablowoods18483 жыл бұрын
Thank you for putting this into the world.
@Wisdomseeker55 жыл бұрын
So true every world you said. Hugs from Norway 🇳🇴
@mollyhickok20476 жыл бұрын
Fantastic encapsulation of Complex Trauma. Thank you!
@victoriasage79 ай бұрын
Thank you for posting these videos ❤️🩹
@BEsum1different9 ай бұрын
Oh my gosh 🤯 this has explained so much
@joeysocks57183 ай бұрын
This man described my whole life. I’m 64 and just understanding. Dad died when I was 4 and mom was busy dealing with 2 young boys to raise and keep a roof over our head. As I got older, she worked 2nd shift and I’d come home from school to an empty house. This talk helped a lot 🙏🏼
@awaken243 ай бұрын
She did what she needed to do to feed her family , at least she worked and didn’t sit at home on the sofa And make you beg for food on the streets I was in the same situation with 2 children Hope you don’t hold a grudge against her
@nishasankaran4 жыл бұрын
Im working my way thru the series. So helpful💕
@OneSparrow-76 Жыл бұрын
Did you find the series conclusion? I cannot find the rest of the 50 characteristics of complex trauma series conclusions..
@warriorsoftheheart6 жыл бұрын
Anger is a huge issue for me.. It manifested as extreme anorexia for my mid teens and entire 20s.. I turned 30 last June. I'm only now getting a handle on all this.. Starting therapy at the end of the week.. I think I'll record my journey.. Try help someone else, give this mess of my life some meaning...
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
Roseanne, please don't ever talk about yourself like that. Maybe it is not all you want it to be right now, but it's your life, and it has value -- no matter what you do or do not do with it. "If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, you can't say it to yourself." Don't you realize? It's so common for females to turn their anger inward. Girls get so much societal censure for their anger. You're NOT a screwup for finding yourself where you are. I'm not advising you should choose to stay there (anorexia, etc.), but *that's* not telling you anything you don't already know. And it sounds like you're working on it, so good for you!! 🎉 You deserve better than what you've been dished in this life, right? Can you agree with that? Cuz I think that. Here's a novel thought. Whoever hurt you? The one[s] who you have a *right* to be angry with? Give yourself permission to put your anger where it belongs, which is not with you. You're not a bad person to be angry at anyone who hurt you. And have faith that you can tolerate just a little less control. One bite today, maybe two bites tomorrow. All things are possible, actually. I don't know what happened to you, but I damn well believe you have a right to be angry!! I know what happened in my formative years; I had a right to be angry, too. I didn't even have it as bad as a lot of people. But, if you talk to women honestly, without judgment, I think you'll find that probably 50-75% of us have been molested or raped, not to mention those who tolerate abuses because they weren't valued or loved growing up. And then there's *every woman on earth*, who probably has never seen her body with accurate eyes, because the whole world loves to manipulate women by telling them that, however they are, it's not right. 🙄🙄 Stay strong. Believe in yourself. If you can't believe in who you are today, then take 1 step, and hold belief in the person who you *could* be. I don't know if you're in a place to be able to accept it, but I'm sending all my love anyway. You need it, you haven't given any to yourself for so long. 💖
@rahman.13393 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the beauty you're creating of your life 💕
@despicabledavidshort3806 Жыл бұрын
I'm 60, I've been in and out of therapy for at least 30 yrs. I just started a journal. Good luck with your journey
@fuxxz10 ай бұрын
Thank you tim Fletcher , you are such a wonderful man , I wish you all the good in this earth with this great work you are doing 🙏🙏🙏
@JudyBodman9 ай бұрын
I'm glad I accidentally came across you and your teachings. You are awesome.
@erinm35673 жыл бұрын
My mom had to have open heart surgery hours after I was born and I've often wondered if my dad blames me, even though the strain of giving birth 2 times before me also contributed to the strain on her aorta. He's always said I'm a burden, a hassle and told me I'm so full of shit more times than I could count. My mom died 9 years later and I have such issues with rejection and abandonment bc she and I couldn't bond properly bc of the lengthy surgery recovery and then of course when she permanently left my life.
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
Erin, I'm liking your comment to support you. That's a horrible life story; I feel for you. The way that you were able to relay those events, I suspect that you've grown your life into better than that you can't from. I've often thought that life would be so much better if all people were sterilized at birth, and could only have that reversed (to have a family) after passing a lengthy barrage of emotional fitness evaluations. If course, the fact that this occurred to me in the 4th grade says a lot about my life, too.
@beatrixbrennan15452 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're not a burden, your dad was just a bad parent. God created you for a plan and purpose and His love is perfect! God bless you hunny
@drsandhyathumsikumar44794 жыл бұрын
Tim you are a incredible gift to the world as you share wisdom that heals .more strenth to ur good work
@thisisntallowed95606 жыл бұрын
Omg I have this oppositional defiance thing gosh I knew but now I have the words
@evelove782510 ай бұрын
So helpful and healing to hear this
@LoverofSunflowernBees Жыл бұрын
I’m still living like a child I’m in my mothers home. How do I get out? I’m now , going to be at risk of losing my room here too. But I actually want out.. because I don’t know how to cope being here knowing that I’m going to be kick out on the streets! I need Tim’s help.. big time but mostly Gods help..I’m also surviving still now like I did when I was a kid..
@victoriasage79 ай бұрын
Maybe you could look into seasonal work, they often provide housing
@mariebrett21798 ай бұрын
Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group ( ACA or ACOA).
@mozejohnson2682 ай бұрын
Praying for you, it must be really horrific living that way...Thank God for pastor Tim Fletcher cse am dealing with a slightly similar situation though have no children yet and still single...
@jensbornagain27 күн бұрын
Didn’t even know I had trauma until watching this guy. I do so much of this
@hectorg3625 ай бұрын
I'm not religious but the praryers and sermons at the end are really intresting. Thanks for this it has been really helpful in my healing journey.
@kellymorehouse4561Ай бұрын
Prior to years of counseling I couldn't sit still whenever I attempted to talk about the abuse. I recommend any and everyone listen to you! I used to snap, "Yes sir!" Some thought I meant it and some caught on. We attract all those who desire to use and abuse us. All things are possible with God!!
@kellymorehouse4561Ай бұрын
I was trying so hard to get my children to know they were loved that I missed certain things.
@daveco47813 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this series.
@mozejohnson2682 ай бұрын
Many thanks to pastor Tim, i grew up feeling really invisible... basically jst isolated...too shy, jst hated my personality but what i didn't know was that it all came from my childhood...
@kathyhathaway33185 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@leaozturk99232 ай бұрын
This man is huge blessing
@davidnorman2134Ай бұрын
This man just described my world my life
@bridaily98354 жыл бұрын
I love your videos !!!! Thank you 👍🏾
@ShalomEntirety15 ай бұрын
Fantastic and LOVE and appreviate the reverance to the Father at the end. Shalom Tim Fletcher.
@OneSparrow-76 Жыл бұрын
I cannot find the next video in this series. He stops at 24 characteristics of complex trauma…anyone able to tell me where he finishes it?
@Maruzzela-l1u10 ай бұрын
The common denominator I think is that we don't understand lies deceit manipulation. I d go as far as to say we were manipulated into not lying too however we had that tendency hence it was easy for them .easy to tell us lies are bad coz we already thought so whereas siblings may be like the parents
@kimjohnson84712 ай бұрын
The way I express anger is by keeping score. It could take years, but ONE DAY....
@hman95818 ай бұрын
24:30 - Anger environments.
@marthawhite33537 ай бұрын
This is so helpful for understanding my own life and past, and also a recent relationship that failed. I am committed to healthy recovery, and he was not interested. But - his behavior was so intolerable because of these traits you describe. Makes me a little sad that he chose not to make healthy changes in his life, and instead became abusive and hurtful.
@leaozturk99232 ай бұрын
This is So needed. Ty Jesus
@nikia737Ай бұрын
soooooooo true... 1000% so very angry,so much so when i had my mental breakdown i was offered anger management not grief councilling not therapy for all the trauma..18mnths later im stable enough to fight for my sanity with a lovely mental health nurse,the furst to actually hear me in 40 +years.past 12 yrs ive been controlling as my 3rd child died,leaving 2,1has cancer n is blind,so yes i became controlling,but my now adult daughter still surviving cancer has helped me let her go to live her life,she never told me off as she knew she went from 4th child to oldest in a few years.we all tried to work together to get through lifes bumps.and i always seem to heal a little n expect my hubby n kids to work on themselves,its all so true,yet i feel guilty for feeling/being who i am and blaming others for how i am/feel now.
@cathychase6632 жыл бұрын
I used to pretend I was a totally different person. Did it for years.. was concerned it wasn't normal even then. Parents never argued. Thought I had good normal family until I married an abuser and recalled the fears I lived with both my ex and dad. Mom died. She loved me. Dad still living but does that guilt Trip stuff. And digs. No validation. Kids grown and gone. Thought I sacrificed.slone. Now trying to understand what happened. I take on others'flaws as mine. Kids moved far away. Scared
@cathychase6632 жыл бұрын
Alone". I raised myself
@mariebrett21798 ай бұрын
Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group ( ACA or ACOA). Its never too late to start healing and live a better life- a life you deserve
@VinaFlare3 ай бұрын
I love you Tim Fletcher!❤❤❤
@hman95818 ай бұрын
8:30 - Anger management in trauma.
@JadeOharaАй бұрын
I strongly suggest subtitles on your videos so that more people around the world are educated. It's hard nowadays to find reliable source of facts. 🇧🇷
@kaystephens2672 Жыл бұрын
In the movie "Seize the Day" there's a subtle line that is very powerful. "Nothing but nerves brought on by "Failure of the Will". What did Stiller mean by that? If a person's will is pushed down so far, they may never find it when they become an adult. Having 2 strong willed liars in my home my will was obliterated, ignored as "not good enough". In this movie, the fathers strong stubbornness was nothing but a strong willed spoiled brats pattern if behavior that got him his way. And I believe that even though we are dealing with so much of this today, in the end, God's will does always triumph. My 85 year old mother had a stroke in front of me one afternoon. I just happen to be there. These experiences might just be a test of your will to believe in Him. I believe Love always comes out ahead. A tyrannical person is just afraid of the unknown. I say listen to tourself. It's a very quiet voice that's always saying " It's going to be ok". No matter what.
@jaereed70293 жыл бұрын
False Guilt.... I have said several hundred times since I fell down this last rabbit hole in my life that I will no longer be the receptacle and forced to carry the weight of sins that are and never were my own. One of the biggest struggles I have is my frustration at the walls I hit as I try to give back the sins I do not have responsibility for so I can function enough to handle the sins that I do own....and the anger at myself for not opening my eyes and choosing the ignorance that let me believe they loved me.
@mariebrett21798 ай бұрын
Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group ( ACA or ACOA). Its never too late to start healing and live a better life-the life you deserve
@FrugalTrader4 ай бұрын
Hi I can't find part 3 & 4. Appreciate any help. Thank u
@rebekahbrown40523 жыл бұрын
Yes the false guilt thing and many others continues forever or until you go no contact and start recovery
@CasieC1015 ай бұрын
This is amazing 👏 it has helped explain so much!
@dopminate_to_dominate5 ай бұрын
Had to go for exercise, which I committed to myself, but felt really compelled to watch the part two of how your trauma... mechanisms. However, I will practise the lessons of the part one and practice perseverence (16th), fulfill committment with myself (17th), do not go for instant gratification (14th), and go for exercise, and watch this tomorrow.
@Kaoren7175 жыл бұрын
23:04 This is strange to me....they never abused the leather strap...it was always done in love?
@juliasew5 жыл бұрын
Kaoren717 I think it was sarcasm.
@robertrichard61074 жыл бұрын
@@juliasew He's still in denial, having FANTASY FAMILY😆
@arcanhajer4 жыл бұрын
@@juliasew sometimes you do not want to hurt your family in such a public because you are above that
@witchywomen665010 ай бұрын
Yup yup yup to all of this series. YUUUUUP. 😢🤦♀️
@oliverjeffery4651Ай бұрын
This is it. Gold.
@davidtraylor29224 ай бұрын
Where is part 3,4, etc? You said "50 characteristics" where are the other 26?
@azn_persuasion7 ай бұрын
When i dated my ex, his mom was always super nice to me, and I always thought "She's real good at being fake nice." because my textbook narcissist mom was always nice to people in front of their face, but evil behind closed doors. I thought everyone was like that..... We dated for 5 years (on and off).... It was an emotional rollercoaster... i drained his soul... :( Every time i went over to his house, I'd ask him "is your mom there?" EVEN AFTER 5 YEARS. I was so terrified of mothers. Still kind of am... I'm 28.
@CrystalS-vp7pe2 ай бұрын
May Yahweh bless you and your family Tim
@bleedingkansai99614 ай бұрын
My mom was a cold working woman who wanted no problems and my dad was an insecure overgrown child who didn't teach me anything. I'm 38 now and I still feel like a child in constant danger, barely functioning to the end of each day.
@almondmilksoda4 ай бұрын
@10:23 there's a super secret fun third option here for the internalizers (ask me how I know!!)- SELF-SABOTAGE. This unhealed, unprocessed rage is turned inward towards yourself and it is quite horrendous, as you can imagine.
@mozejohnson2682 ай бұрын
I personally would want to help raise awareness abt these crucial issues... over here in africa uganda, people jst dont care much for mental health...
@ItAintEZBeingMoBeezy4 ай бұрын
Are there more parts to this mini series?
@tiffanysheffield18263 жыл бұрын
I feel really really messed up right now. I mean i knew I was but I see how much damage and how muxh I just want some peace after so much trauma going back to the womb and I have no clue where to start to learn healthy coping mechanisms
@TimFletcher3 жыл бұрын
timfletcher.ca/lift-online-learning/
@erinm35673 жыл бұрын
I understand you. I feel the same way. I think trauma healing makes things worse before they get better but it actually makes sense bc of the nature of trauma. Hang in there.
@jeannieneuser53163 жыл бұрын
Tiffany, I found Tim's videos yesterday and binge-listened. All afternoon, as I was listening, all I could think was, "I'm so broken; I'll never be good for anyone, ever again." Even though I know that's just a thought, and not a helpful one. I put myself to bed on the couch, so the videos could still play in my ear. I don't even know what anecdote or principle got me, but something broke the floodgates loose, and I finally cried myself to sleep. Today, I had the time. More listening, from a more empowered place. Awareness is the first step. Once we know, we can address it. Strangely, I feel validated/comforted to know that I'm not a mess because I'm simply defective, but that there are actually very good reasons for why I am the way that I am. My bf has his own things going on (honestly, listening to Tim, we pretty much had similar childhoods, now I can see where it comes from for him), but was a real jackass to me yesterday. What Tim has had to say re: codependency dynamics, I could be more academic in observing myself through our interactions today, notice the terror of separation that I was feeling, be reassured to know *why* that feeling was there, also to know that I could choose to use my pre-frontal (not live from my limbic system), could actually not respond to that. Instead of begging him to please connect with me, to reassure me at all costs (people pleasing) I was able to ask him for clarification, and to state my point of view. I didn't share with him because I think it's b.s. to lay it on someone @ bedtime, when they're needing to sleep so they can be up early for work (poor timing, by the time I had arrived at it in my head), but... For me to even formulate in my head, the thought, "I am angry with you and I don't deserve that treatment from you," is territory I've never walked on before. All of this is to say... Just because it hurts, doesn't mean it's not helping. If you, too, have spent a lifetime shoving the feelings down... Well, we're really behind with the processing. And, it always grows bigger when you push it down. But imagine... What if you process the backlog? And after that, process in real time? What if you never make it worse by pushing it down? After all this, when we get to that point... Don't you think it'll be easier? Less painful? More doable? I do. I totally think that. I'm looking forward to it. 💖
@mariebrett21798 ай бұрын
Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group ( ACA or ACOA). Its never too late to start healing and live a better life-the life you deserve
@elenasolis58042 ай бұрын
In my family pointing the finger at somebody especially when you're arguing is a sign of disrespect and so if you do that it's like having fighting words but you're just pointing your finger
@gmyersgilmer94704 жыл бұрын
They teach in sales and non violent communication to use your whole hand to point instead of a finger or half a finger.
@kathyhathaway33185 ай бұрын
The part that sucks for me is the anxiety and nervousness that comes out of the blue and no idea why. And because it's physical sensations, I go to the extreme of is something health wise wrong with me. :(
@fennkaren4 ай бұрын
❤Wow! Really informative
@Severine-rq9je7 ай бұрын
Where do I find part 3 of this? Could anyone please help, because I would like to hear about all 50 of them.
@Candyliz20038 күн бұрын
Re ANGER As a people-pleaser ANGER is something I avoided. I guess I "stuffed" it. But I've also understood that allowing your anger to surface while trying to engage with others creates a bad environment for cooperation. I'm also very empathetic so I understand how others feel and react to anger so I keep it in check until I can process whatever brought the anger on. I'm also aware (and have been since childhood) that when anger is present there likely will not be a solution to whatever brought the anger on to begin with. Sometimes it feels like people-pleasing and being angry cannot coexist. I dunno. Still working on this stuff.
@JustHereToHear5 ай бұрын
Is there any way to help yourself if you have these issues? Therapy is something I can't spend money on right now.. Plus, not all therapists can be helpful and I don't want to be disappointed by not being helped
@thisisntallowed95606 жыл бұрын
I escape to fantasy too But I don't project them into the real world
@kimpuchek19566 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@ChannelMath5 ай бұрын
My partner can be INCREDIBLY annoying and controlling sometimes, because she thinks everything will be her fault if people aren't happy with whatever is happening, because she was told things were her fault as a child, like her baby sister getting hurt, that were really her parents' fault. She knows all this, but isn't really getting better at it
@ericaalloway96619 ай бұрын
I seen you on Theo vons podcast!! I’ve never had me explained to me like this.
@always_on_ten2 ай бұрын
Wheres part 3 !!!?
@jerrycostello38138 ай бұрын
#19 🙋♂️ I don’t usually flash; but I can smolder for days.