How Your Trauma Explains Your Coping Mechanisms - Part 2

Part 4 of Tim's Complex Trauma series. Part 2 of the coping mini series.
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🎓 COMPASS Facilitator & Coach Training is offered to LIFT Online Learning graduates who would like to facilitate our programs or further their education as Complex Trauma coaches. Our coaches and facilitators help those living with addictions, process their trauma and assist them in developing techniques that lead to better decision-making and healthier lives. Learn more here: www.timfletcher.ca/teach
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[@daveco4781]

This series should be promoted all around the world. For me it comes 40 years too late but at least I can understand now what happened to me.

[@JTECreates]

Better late than never. Stay strong and open. My love to you.

[@ScoutGrey]

peace be with you Dave.

[@paulalane8638]

I could say the same thing! We aren't dead....there is hope!🙏🤗

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

I feel the same davco4781 my whole entire life wouldn’t be messed up if the world wasn’t so slow in the Medical Field. Doctors don’t know as much as Tim Fletcher! Yes! I said it, because Tim Fletcher is a genius! I would have a completely different way of thinking and I wouldn’t have made all the mistakes I did if I’d known what was going on with my head!

[@mknels1299]

Ditto

[@junemichaels6668]

Every single person should be required to watch this entire series. Eye-opening. Incredible. Thank you so much.

[@randihope803]

Agreed

[@sharifahm.7963]

True, am going through this now. Now i understand why i was living in chaos. Am grateful for finding his videos.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

Considering his statement [in one of his videos] that, these days, 74 of 100 people have experienced complex trauma... Most of us *need* it. Even if a person is one of the lucky few who was raised by well-adjusted parents, it would help smooth the path with everyone else around them. Listening to these, I understand my struggles like never before. And, even more, I recognize many of these characteristics in some of the [challenging] people I've been around, who I sometimes haven't tolerated the most kindly, and I just want to cry.

[@jessii4887]

I 100% agree. I send to everyone I think can safely take this in.

[@Bronislaavv]

Married people also.

[@jasonlynch6547]

To anyone just stumbling upon this material.. This is the best and most accurate source I have been able to find on these topics. If these videos describe your life’s behaviors that have been controlling your life but you never knew why.. please take the time to watch listen and educate yourself. Good luck on your healing journeys! Remember to focus on progress, not perfection and take everything one day at a time. ❤

[@lala5061]

So so true I found him a few days ago it just popped up because of all the good stuff I listen to 😊 im so happy because he really knows what he is talking about 👏🏽

[@sarahjmount9221]

Don’t forget TV for escape to fantasy…haha. I was the 7th Brady Bunch sibling! 😅

[@AnnaBanana-gz4om]

I was Samantha from give me a break.lol

[@Filibie]

I was the red power ranger 😂

[@sarahjmount9221]

@@Filibie 😂

[@jkrakauer805]

This is a skilled, experienced, compassionate & really well articulated presentation. Lots of accurate insights which is rare. Only 3k views .. people are missing out. Thanks for sharing though! Nice work.

[@sharifahm.7963]

Indeed they really missing out

[@js2010ish]

10+ times that now at least

[@victoriasage7]

I think we all wish we had this information earlier in our lives… But at least we have it now 🙏

[@Ravengal101]

*Catastrophizing:* Your brain switches “If I see signs of danger, I should prepare for the worst” to “If I see signs of danger, the worst *will* happen.” This prevents you from trying new things or taking risks.

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

When you explain trauma that way, it helps A LOT!

[@jodywatson6673]

Fantasy is believing violence ever comes from a place of love.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

That is a chilling statement, for sure. 😬😬

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

He was my "best friend". We spoke every day. My heart is in so much pain, it physically hurts.

[@ragga7862]

This is great! Both relieving and painful at the same time. Relieving because it explains a lot, but painful because it sheds light to how much work I have to do on myself 😱

[@yourenough3]

Anyone whom is interested look up John Bradshaws book healing the shame that binds you. This is a great video and the series of these videos are beyond validating. John Bradshaw is just another helpful and healing book for getting healed and healing toxic shame and insecure attachment. Knowledge is power. ♡♡♡

[@robertrichard6107]

I still got his '80's pbs series on cassette!

[@debifambro1039]

I'm a fan of John Bradshaw too. He made me realize I was carrying my mother's fear and shame.

[@reginaarnone4845]

LIFESAJOURNEY saw Bradshaw in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania 35 years ago. He got a standing ovation when he took the stage.

[@christiethom6386]

This guy has changed my life forever wow wish I would of heard about all this stuff years and years ago

[@rondae7121]

OH MY GOSH! I'm only 6!! Just kidding. Man, I so wish this info could've come around in the 80's!!!

[@Uncleskuncle420]

It's amazing though how far they have come in the mental health Feild

[@jonathanogrady4854]

Even the 70's dude👽

[@sarahjmount9221]

Me, too! I’m 6! lol 😂…and I concur about the 80’s. Why did it take so long for me to find out what the hell was wrong w/me?! More than 1/2 my life is over.

[@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry]

I can't compare them qualitatively, but John Bradshaw's Coming Home series did run on PBS in the 80's and was repeated for decades afterward. He delved into the impact of toxic shame, codependency and dysfunctional family systems.

[@randyrice854]

Amazing talks. This needs to be in every school and self help group in the world. Thank you all so much

[@TarkMcCoy]

"How much anger are you carrying around?" "I don't know. Let me open my Big Bag of Shut-The-F@ck-Up and see what's stuffed in there..."

[@sarahjmount9221]

Hahahaha! OMG! Good for you, man! 😂

[@lala5061]

Bahahahaha 😂🤣

[@danmalone5365]

My dad was a horribly underdeveloped human being a monster verbally and physically abused his kids daily. My mom, she was riddled with shame and guilt between the two of them they were a dynamic wrestling team who forced their children to eat their sins. Then osmosis kicks in finishing the job.

[@007lutherking]

Narcissist-codependent couple.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

I wish you hadn't been raised in that dynamic. It's crazy; if you're hanging in the comments on these videos, you've either had it bad or worse. But, you're here and you're learning. And you're in a place in your life where you could face listening to this. You have Choice. You don't have to live their lives. You can have a nice life for yourself, with or [probably] without them in it. You're aware. You're not trapped, unless by your own choice. I am grateful for that for you. 💗

[@danmalone5365]

Do I believe my mother and father deliberately intended to sabotage their children no it’s just multi generation dysfunctional behavior. The lack of understanding of their own insanity.But that’s how it works we keep passing it on from generation to generation.

[@kaygenio2129]

Thank you for presenting a comprehensive view on complex trauma. I knew things weren't normal at home, but you have been so definitive about how I use my not-really-coping, coping skills.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

Kay, I love that: "my not-really-coping, coping skills." Well said!! 🤦🎉😂

[@jenniferlakhal4975]

My goodness he’s spot on. Wow just wow. ❤️‍🔥

[@sarahjmount9221]

Yeah, he is! So helpful.

[@BaharBolourian]

Thank you for your accurate and complete description!​

[@timc2493]

Spot on Hits home. Never had any information like this. Explains so much

[@Kuruflower]

Oh my gosh. Start??? I've been working on recovering memories for 21 years. I have been feeling severely depressed, hopeless, seething angry for a bit, after remembering, resolving, confronting, and accepting this horror. So I looked for ideas of why I feel bad when I've finally come to terms with what happened. I found this series about cptsd. Now I am finding I have some immature, painful, harmful coping mechanisms. I'm exhausted. I don't want to play anymore. This has been unbearable to remember, let alone feel it again through flash backs, in all the various flash back ways. What the hell... Now I'm my own worst enemy? I don't want to play this. I can run away from jerks, but when the jerk is myself.... Now what? Sh#t!!! I don't drink or do drugs. I worry and fester and feel insane. I'm not in recovery. I can't imagine. Best wishes for you all to have an easy blessed uplifting time of it. Do the good. And 'be your own dog'. Be safe. I pray for all of us. I give it up to God. I can't do this myself.

[@reginaarnone4845]

KuruFlower I can relate to what your saying. For me I had to feel the feelings in order to liberate myself from the pain. It's ok to take a breath and be kind to yourself in the process.

[@nsmarine2074]

When we get to the point we give up sometimes that's the best place to be because we can start learning. I can so much identify with you not drinking or doing drugs. I have not either but I suffer from this stuff just the same. The thing on false guilt hit me so hard as I have done that all my life. I feel guilty for everything and everyone and I'm tired of it !!! I also feel for you in how you are feeling. Feeling exhausted is a daily thing for me and I wonder if I will EVER feel normal again as I'm 60 now. I started dealing with things and going to counseling in my 20's and taking anti depressants. I lost over a million dollars worth of property in the 2008 mess with crooked bankers and everything blew up in my face. I've barely been able to cope ever since and had a nervous breakdown then. Now I live in England (beautiful country and people, NHS is AWESOME) BUT my wife has filed for divorce and I'm looking at starting all over again with NOTHING. I want to die, I want to live, I'm too tired to live, it all seems hopeless, one foot in front of the other. God bless.

[@despicabledavidshort3806]

​​@@reginaarnone4845 "I had to feel the feelings in order to liberate myself from the pain" perfect, absolutely perfect. I just wrote that in my journal, thank you ❤

[@littlewillowlinda]

Yup, finding out that we've been in our own way all along is painful. We don’t want to cause our own pain, we’ve been trained into it. It’s not fair but I guess nothing really is. I just wish I didn’t have to be so different from everyone else. That distorted thinking really messes things up.

[@pablowoods1848]

Thank you for putting this into the world.

[@25johis]

So true every world you said. Hugs from Norway 🇳🇴

[@mollyhickok2047]

Fantastic encapsulation of Complex Trauma. Thank you!

[@Wszystko_minie]

Your Great. I have this same like the person up. I'm 40 but at least Im understand what's is happening with me every day. I can't any more to handled that pain and sadness inside of me and I don't know what to do anymore. You are my number one. And you have also so much of empathy and understanding that I have never seen by any doc. I have 7 diagnoses, 4 countries. Never nobody have said me what's wrong with me, why do I feel that way. You. You. You. Thank you. You have save me before my die, a d that was my dream to understand what going on. Now I need to change that some way alone because the doctor's I have go true, they don't know too much or they just not interested to help, or they are cold, or they are just don't understand themselves what's happening. Oh my God, thank you so much that you have make that channel and you share with the people just for free not like the another one. Thank you. I will be grateful to you till I die. Thank you and wish you all the best. God bless you and your family

[@evelove7825]

So helpful and healing to hear this

[@badriakhavan5666]

It is so hard for me to listen to you since I feel like you are describing me in details ...I feel overwhelmed for hours after listening to you ..To me , you are putting a light on my life to get out of the pitfalls of my complex trauma ...Thank you ..Thank you so much ..

[@janwisz4070]

You are not alone ❤

[@onlyrealstuff9704]

This man is a gem

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

Oh and Tim Fletcher , this just isn’t children escaping into a fantasy world in their rooms. It’s what I’m doing and I’m 52. Still stuck living with my CPTSD mom and I have it too! She is 78 and dying like you speak of and I’m about close to that or doing drugs! I’m at high risk of being homeless too! I’m Trying to get help and have got it from all the wrong therapists! And I’m praying you see my comment or someone does that can contact you! I’m one you haven’t met yet. I’ve got a very unique situation with my single parent mother! I’ve never met another person with a mother quiet like mine and another with a severely disabled brother that is like my brother and he is the entire world to my mother and I am nothing.. and treated like nothing, I’m invisible most of the time in this house not only by my mother but my daughter and son who also have complex trauma! We all messed up here! In this Sunshine state. We all need help here a lot more in Sunny Calif! This entire state..

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

Tim you are a incredible gift to the world as you share wisdom that heals .more strenth to ur good work

[@warriorsoftheheart]

Anger is a huge issue for me.. It manifested as extreme anorexia for my mid teens and entire 20s.. I turned 30 last June. I'm only now getting a handle on all this.. Starting therapy at the end of the week.. I think I'll record my journey.. Try help someone else, give this mess of my life some meaning...

[@jeannieneuser5316]

Roseanne, please don't ever talk about yourself like that. Maybe it is not all you want it to be right now, but it's your life, and it has value -- no matter what you do or do not do with it. "If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, you can't say it to yourself." Don't you realize? It's so common for females to turn their anger inward. Girls get so much societal censure for their anger. You're NOT a screwup for finding yourself where you are. I'm not advising you should choose to stay there (anorexia, etc.), but *that's* not telling you anything you don't already know. And it sounds like you're working on it, so good for you!! 🎉 You deserve better than what you've been dished in this life, right? Can you agree with that? Cuz I think that. Here's a novel thought. Whoever hurt you? The one[s] who you have a *right* to be angry with? Give yourself permission to put your anger where it belongs, which is not with you. You're not a bad person to be angry at anyone who hurt you. And have faith that you can tolerate just a little less control. One bite today, maybe two bites tomorrow. All things are possible, actually. I don't know what happened to you, but I damn well believe you have a right to be angry!! I know what happened in my formative years; I had a right to be angry, too. I didn't even have it as bad as a lot of people. But, if you talk to women honestly, without judgment, I think you'll find that probably 50-75% of us have been molested or raped, not to mention those who tolerate abuses because they weren't valued or loved growing up. And then there's *every woman on earth*, who probably has never seen her body with accurate eyes, because the whole world loves to manipulate women by telling them that, however they are, it's not right. 🙄🙄 Stay strong. Believe in yourself. If you can't believe in who you are today, then take 1 step, and hold belief in the person who you *could* be. I don't know if you're in a place to be able to accept it, but I'm sending all my love anyway. You need it, you haven't given any to yourself for so long. 💖

[@rahman.1339]

Thank you for the beauty you're creating of your life 💕

[@despicabledavidshort3806]

I'm 60, I've been in and out of therapy for at least 30 yrs. I just started a journal. Good luck with your journey

[@fuxxz]

Thank you tim Fletcher , you are such a wonderful man , I wish you all the good in this earth with this great work you are doing 🙏🙏🙏

[@user-zp4kr9vo5j]

I'm glad I accidentally came across you and your teachings. You are awesome.

[@thisisntallowed9560]

Omg I have this oppositional defiance thing gosh I knew but now I have the words

[@nishasankaran]

Im working my way thru the series. So helpful💕

[@OneSparrow-76]

Did you find the series conclusion? I cannot find the rest of the 50 characteristics of complex trauma series conclusions..

[@l.awaller1852]

4:00 - feeling false guilty 7:41 - trapped anger 15:25 - oppositional defiance 19:45 - using fantasy to escape 22:25 - unrealistic expectations 27:59 - double standards 28:57 - distorted thinking

[@BEsum1different]

Oh my gosh 🤯 this has explained so much

[@bridaily9835]

I love your videos !!!! Thank you 👍🏾

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

I’m still living like a child I’m in my mothers home. How do I get out? I’m now , going to be at risk of losing my room here too. But I actually want out.. because I don’t know how to cope being here knowing that I’m going to be kick out on the streets! I need Tim’s help.. big time but mostly Gods help..I’m also surviving still now like I did when I was a kid..

[@victoriasage7]

Maybe you could look into seasonal work, they often provide housing

[@daveco4781]

Thank you so much for this series.

[@kimpuchek1956]

Thank you!

[@erinm3567]

My mom had to have open heart surgery hours after I was born and I've often wondered if my dad blames me, even though the strain of giving birth 2 times before me also contributed to the strain on her aorta. He's always said I'm a burden, a hassle and told me I'm so full of shit more times than I could count. My mom died 9 years later and I have such issues with rejection and abandonment bc she and I couldn't bond properly bc of the lengthy surgery recovery and then of course when she permanently left my life.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

Erin, I'm liking your comment to support you. That's a horrible life story; I feel for you. The way that you were able to relay those events, I suspect that you've grown your life into better than that you can't from. I've often thought that life would be so much better if all people were sterilized at birth, and could only have that reversed (to have a family) after passing a lengthy barrage of emotional fitness evaluations. If course, the fact that this occurred to me in the 4th grade says a lot about my life, too.

[@beatrixbrennan1545]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're not a burden, your dad was just a bad parent. God created you for a plan and purpose and His love is perfect! God bless you hunny

[@witchywomen6650]

Yup yup yup to all of this series. YUUUUUP. 😢🤦‍♀️

[@jaereed7029]

False Guilt.... I have said several hundred times since I fell down this last rabbit hole in my life that I will no longer be the receptacle and forced to carry the weight of sins that are and never were my own. One of the biggest struggles I have is my frustration at the walls I hit as I try to give back the sins I do not have responsibility for so I can function enough to handle the sins that I do own....and the anger at myself for not opening my eyes and choosing the ignorance that let me believe they loved me.

[@user-bn2st5kx8h]

The common denominator I think is that we don't understand lies deceit manipulation. I d go as far as to say we were manipulated into not lying too however we had that tendency hence it was easy for them .easy to tell us lies are bad coz we already thought so whereas siblings may be like the parents

[@rebekahbrown4052]

Yes the false guilt thing and many others continues forever or until you go no contact and start recovery

[@cathychase663]

I used to pretend I was a totally different person. Did it for years.. was concerned it wasn't normal even then. Parents never argued. Thought I had good normal family until I married an abuser and recalled the fears I lived with both my ex and dad. Mom died. She loved me. Dad still living but does that guilt Trip stuff. And digs. No validation. Kids grown and gone. Thought I sacrificed.slone. Now trying to understand what happened. I take on others'flaws as mine. Kids moved far away. Scared

[@cathychase663]

Alone". I raised myself

[@kaystephens2672]

In the movie "Seize the Day" there's a subtle line that is very powerful. "Nothing but nerves brought on by "Failure of the Will". What did Stiller mean by that? If a person's will is pushed down so far, they may never find it when they become an adult. Having 2 strong willed liars in my home my will was obliterated, ignored as "not good enough". In this movie, the fathers strong stubbornness was nothing but a strong willed spoiled brats pattern if behavior that got him his way. And I believe that even though we are dealing with so much of this today, in the end, God's will does always triumph. My 85 year old mother had a stroke in front of me one afternoon. I just happen to be there. These experiences might just be a test of your will to believe in Him. I believe Love always comes out ahead. A tyrannical person is just afraid of the unknown. I say listen to tourself. It's a very quiet voice that's always saying " It's going to be ok". No matter what.

[@thisisntallowed9560]

I escape to fantasy too But I don't project them into the real world

[@jerrycostello3813]

#19 🙋‍♂️ I don’t usually flash; but I can smolder for days.

[@OneSparrow-76]

I cannot find the next video in this series. He stops at 24 characteristics of complex trauma…anyone able to tell me where he finishes it?

[@truthministry7462]

Powerful

[@gregmoran6615]

WOW!

[@Kaoren717]

23:04 This is strange to me....they never abused the leather strap...it was always done in love?

[@juliasew]

Kaoren717 I think it was sarcasm.

[@robertrichard6107]

@@juliasew He's still in denial, having FANTASY FAMILY😆

[@arcanhajer]

@@juliasew sometimes you do not want to hurt your family in such a public because you are above that

[@victoriasage7]

Thank you for posting these videos ❤️‍🩹

[@joywebster2678]

What about using video games to escape?

[@gmyersgilmer9470]

They teach in sales and non violent communication to use your whole hand to point instead of a finger or half a finger.

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

Tim sure does say Okay a lot but it helps us to listen…

[@annetallegrand5656]

I do the fantasy thing💅🏽😆😇 and yes I’ve been narc bait my entire life

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

I'm suicidal in my pain. I am anguished and tormented. I am haunted and I am in agony. I am terrified and traumatized. I cannot, do not: breathe. I desperately want to die. I can't bear the trauma or the pain. can't bear this hell I'm in. I AM DESPERATE FOR PRAYER. I AM SUICIDAL IN MY PAIN. SEVERE SEVERE SEVERE PTSD. THE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL IS TORTURE. I'M IN HELL WITH NO ESCAPE. DROWNING. SUFFOCATING. BREATHLESSLY DYING. I am traumatized. every cell of my being is submerged in PTSD. he raped me. my so-called best friend; he raped me. maliciously intentionally viciously brutally intensely: raped my soul. discarded me like garbage. I'm in so much pain. I am traumatized and terrified. IN CONSTANT PANIC. UNBEARABLE SUFFERING. UNIMAGINABLE PAIN. I'M DYING. JUST DYING. having the devil inside him, is a legit explanation for what he's done to me... I am in misery. I am miserable. I am in hell. hell with no escape. I can no longer take this panic; can no longer live through this pain. he did this to me in February, and now we're in June... the pain and the terror and the panic are unbearable. HE FUCKING BETRAYED AND ABANDONED ME. HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HOW DOES HE NOT MISS ME? HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW????? how will I get through this? how will I heal from this? he purged all his dysfunctions onto me... because he's unhealed and because he's fucked, I ended up being the collateral damage to his un-wellness!! HOW WILL I EVER HEAL? I HAVE SEVERE PTSD. he's given me severe PTSD. SEVERE SEVERE SEVERE. some of the most toxic and sick people come disguised as people that love you... he came disguised as my best friend... I am raped I am tortured I am tormented I am haunted I am terrorized and terrified and desperately panicked. I can't breathe I don't breathe I am paralyzed with trauma. I want to die. I pray to die. I'm in hell with no escape. my soul is raped. I AM DYING OF EMOTIONAL PAIN. THE GRIEF AND TERROR ARE ALL-CONSUMING. the darkness. the despair. the rage. THE PANIC. OH. MY. GOD. THE. PANIC!!! the person whom I thought was my best friend discarded me like garbage. replaced me with another. I desperately want to escape the pain that I'm in: debilitating paralyzing all-consuming hyperventilating panic and grief... the guy I called my best friend, ended up raping me. he violently brutally viciously maliciously raped my soul. abandoned and betrayed me. and now I don't breathe. CAN'T BREATHE. I'M IN HELL. I'm desperately trying to remember this. please, God, help me remember: ✨💖✨ I was created from all light, for I am light, I fear no darkness. for being light, I can see beyond darkness!!! 💫 "Don't look for healing at the same feet of those who broke you." - Rupi Kaur Feelings are just feelings. They are not facts! They are not me! And I can let them go! ♥♥♥ God is using my feelings to train and heal my heart and my soul, for a new healthy true-love relationship: with my twin-flame...

[@JTECreates]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. Most people are good. Karma is real. He will be punished. You will be blessed.

[@nishatronak2081]

I am so sorry. I hope, pray and wish you will heal. Please take care of yourself.

[@susanduncan6245]

I wished I could seems this to you

[@ericaalloway9661]

I seen you on Theo vons podcast!! I’ve never had me explained to me like this.

[@FallenMuse81]

Where is the first one

[@snyda9857]

My life

[@tiffanysheffield1826]

I feel really really messed up right now. I mean i knew I was but I see how much damage and how muxh I just want some peace after so much trauma going back to the womb and I have no clue where to start to learn healthy coping mechanisms

[@TimFletcher]

timfletcher.ca/lift-online-learning/

[@erinm3567]

I understand you. I feel the same way. I think trauma healing makes things worse before they get better but it actually makes sense bc of the nature of trauma. Hang in there.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

Tiffany, I found Tim's videos yesterday and binge-listened. All afternoon, as I was listening, all I could think was, "I'm so broken; I'll never be good for anyone, ever again." Even though I know that's just a thought, and not a helpful one. I put myself to bed on the couch, so the videos could still play in my ear. I don't even know what anecdote or principle got me, but something broke the floodgates loose, and I finally cried myself to sleep. Today, I had the time. More listening, from a more empowered place. Awareness is the first step. Once we know, we can address it. Strangely, I feel validated/comforted to know that I'm not a mess because I'm simply defective, but that there are actually very good reasons for why I am the way that I am. My bf has his own things going on (honestly, listening to Tim, we pretty much had similar childhoods, now I can see where it comes from for him), but was a real jackass to me yesterday. What Tim has had to say re: codependency dynamics, I could be more academic in observing myself through our interactions today, notice the terror of separation that I was feeling, be reassured to know *why* that feeling was there, also to know that I could choose to use my pre-frontal (not live from my limbic system), could actually not respond to that. Instead of begging him to please connect with me, to reassure me at all costs (people pleasing) I was able to ask him for clarification, and to state my point of view. I didn't share with him because I think it's b.s. to lay it on someone @ bedtime, when they're needing to sleep so they can be up early for work (poor timing, by the time I had arrived at it in my head), but... For me to even formulate in my head, the thought, "I am angry with you and I don't deserve that treatment from you," is territory I've never walked on before. All of this is to say... Just because it hurts, doesn't mean it's not helping. If you, too, have spent a lifetime shoving the feelings down... Well, we're really behind with the processing. And, it always grows bigger when you push it down. But imagine... What if you process the backlog? And after that, process in real time? What if you never make it worse by pushing it down? After all this, when we get to that point... Don't you think it'll be easier? Less painful? More doable? I do. I totally think that. I'm looking forward to it. 💖

[@caits3272]

But how to treat? Solutions?

[@rondae7121]

Cait S I hope you have gotten answers to your question. If not, I would like to suggest you start by taking care of YOU. It's not selfish. Set healthy boundaries for yourself with those that are toxic to your well-being. Those were starters for me. Also, watch this guy from his very first video...other helpful videos are Lisa A Ramono, Alan Rosarge, Jim Wise, Julia Christina. And...take it slow....take a days break from it....recovery cannot happen in one day. And that's ok. It's a process. I hope you are doing well and take care.

[@yamicanada]

❤❤❤

[@Kyrmana]

I'm getting called out 😡😂

[@waynewells1958]

47 found gambling 18 so I'm college age. I happen to from tribe and receive money every month. Grand social experiment money doesn't take away the Complex trauma your just depressed in a nicer car and house

[@js2010ish]

🙏🏼

[@Daisy-Doo]

The fantasy thing is so true. I hate it so much.

[@mavicityrelayson2924]

Anyone know his name?

[@TimFletcher]

Mavicity Relayson Tim Fletcher

[@dianestralka9721]

I'm 60 and it's still hard

[@goodstar9553]

In this long series and other videos , Tim is ascribing every problem , faced by us ,to complex trauma. Is this correct ? Is this the truth? For e.g. If I am driven towards money he would probably attribute it to CPTSD. Can we say CPTSD is the cause of every problem faced by human beings? Can someone clarify?

[@sloth6247]

I thought you were missing a finger at first. Lol

[@risefromtheashes6623]

My escape was watching war movies because I felt like I could identify with the soldiers.

[@goodstar9553]

21:09,

[@ikyhwh]

The F****** Man!

[@johnmills3163]

?????

[@Stretesky]

He makes good points and some people are as he describes, but not everyone with CPTSD. He needs to bring attention to that caveat to not mislead everyone. Part of the time, it sounds like he’s only speaking about emotionally immature people. Clarifying that none of these talks are all of none and creating nuance is supper important and helpful to lead people in the correct and healthy direction.

[@keeperoftheway2605]

If you can trust people, why do you need to make these videos convincing people that they can trust people?