The Key to Letting Go - Healing Complex Trauma

[@joellynshort3949]

3-6 months? I’ve been on this journey 8 years now, and still feels wrong. But it’s changing, just really, really slowly. I didn’t start til i was 50.

[@debbylee6329]

I have been recovering for 7 years. It's been hard work. I find that betrayal from immediate family members is the hardest.

[@SandraSadbag]

I’m going into my 4th year now. When I put boundaries in place it feels so bad,so wrong. I think I am living in a low level trigger state as my limbic brain just cannot understand why my cortex has done this. In reality I had no choice, I was collapsing under it all. My cortex brain is finding all this really hard.

[@elizabethborreson1085]

@@joellynshort3949 🙏🏽🤲🏽

[@kate4728]

I'm retired at 37, went from Grace to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest wife and 35k biweekly and a good daughter full of love ❤

[@ilavey]

I'm feeling really motivated. Could you share some details about the bi-weekly topic you brought up?

[@04Serena]

An important topic, well presented. I appreciate that you used IFS for clarity -- we need ways of holding our wounded parts with compassion and love. The hardest thing to let go of is being “sick” -- it gave me a place to hide for so very long...

[@amyjames2394]

Forgetting those things are behind and pressing onward to the things ahead. ❤

[@angieolsson8175]

Just what I needed to hear. Letting go is difficult when what you are letting go of brings you joy as well as misery.

[@therealexistentialist]

Perfect timing. Struggling so hard with letting go.

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

You’ve got this. Give yourself the GIFT of freedom. Much love

[@autumngryffinnheart6374]

Image evoked: Bilbo leaving the ring behind.

[@the.kai.eros.experience]

Ooooooo. Love this. For him it felt excruciating in the moment, but he was able to move on. LOTR has so many metaphors about the hero’s journey! My favorite scene is Frodo deciding to cross the river alone at the end of Fellowship. That, too, is so symbolic. Committing to self-love and going it alone if need be. Committing to courage and the unknown with a higher purpose and calling leading the way.

[@josiawinkeler2482]

Message to all emphats you think most of the time your here to help others but it would be good for you to be of service to yourself instead of others it will change a lot specially if you have trauma ore trauma bonds make it a life goal ore a higher purpose to be of service to yourself

[@jeanniecampbell1374]

This Man is My Hero .

[@milliem8051]

My trauma made me a people pleaser and I also would freeze and still do. People just take advantage of me. I feel incapable of healthy relationships. I’m so isolated. Is this gonna be my life? How do I move on? I’m 39, single, no children. I’ve been lonely from a young age, guess that’s just how it is for me.

[@lesleymcmillan1893]

You are still young there is still hope for you❤ learn and apply. There is so much info and resources now!

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

Nope. You’re already in the right place to make the changes. If we had a chance to talk, I could tell you my story and how I was once you- and how I work every day to stay out of where I was before.

[@DeeDeeOrr]

Your program is healing me. Much gratitude!

[@the.kai.eros.experience]

“Fear becomes something I need to walk through.” Man. So much yes. Holy hell. It’s like I’ve been walking through it for 2+ years. This life, past life, generational layers of unsafety and survival defenses. It’s such big work but I see it now. The light. The love. The little child that hid so far back in a corner, and gets to walk back out of it, through the darkness, into the light. The poetry of the hero’s journey and all of our journeys back to love and wholeness…. That keeps me going. God is a poet and he’s writing the most gorgeous epic poem, in real-time, for all of us.

[@LitLitterbox]

You and Ask Courtney have literally saved my life. For about 5 years I’ve followed you guys and everything you post relates. I’ve had decades of complex trauma. Thanks to you guys, this year I’m finally coming out of the dark healing and into the healing light of living. I’ve never been in this mindset. It’s been very very hard and so many tears and emotions, but the validation and explanations have made me almost whole. I would say “made me whole again”, but this is the first time to come this far. THANK YOU 🎉 💜

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

If you see this- I understand your suffering. I wish you didn’t have to suffer any longer. There are ways out of this. You’ve GOT to gift the ways to yourself. Only YOU can let go….and finally move on with your life.

[@CLSS70]

I find that my body reactions, are extremely helpful when I am trying to hard intellectually to work out what needs to go. Avoidance through overthinking, is one of my biggest default settings. I find listening to my body has helped tremendously with discernment.

[@NATALIEKING1976]

Thank you for this knowledge. It is greatly appreciated

[@megandavis324]

3-6 MONTHS??? It’s been 3-6 YEARS and I still have this going on. I’ve had EMDR and therapy for 6 years now. I work on my cptsd every day throughout. Sometimes I feel like I’m pushing myself to heal too hard… but overall my limbic system has improved significantly. I don’t care how long it takes I will not quit this healing process

[@oflavia2910]

@@megandavis324 hi, am thinking of trying emdr for mild anxieties over sensitivities, would love to hear how it helps, and how long? here it's very expensive so thinking of trying few sessions.

[@SandraSadbag]

I am going into my fourth year now. I wonder how much longer it will take? Like you, I will not quit, but it is HARD work every single day.

[@miss-winner]

This is awesome! I'm not sure if you've heard about Internal Family Systems, it has helped me tremendously. Also watching videos by Jay Reid who speaks on how narcissists scapegoat and abuse their children, has also helped me a lot. All the very best to you, and happy healing. 🎉

[@c.bleumink]

Love your spirit! I’m near my 6th year too, every day it still gets better 💪🏻 ☀️ 🎉 love these video! They help so much. ❤ 🙏🏻

[@elizabethborreson1085]

@@megandavis324 Ahmein!

[@Lizbeth-vt2nm]

Brilliant! absolutely brilliant! Thank you for the clarity of my current state I feel much safer now in the decisions I’ve made trusting my intuition now. 🙏🏽❤️

[@sylviatibbett1001]

This is such great guidance. Thank you Tim

[@Earthether]

Really good video

[@maurapajonk7919]

Thank you, Tim!

[@deborahbreeden4394]

In Al-Anon, I remember the suggestions that the person use chocolate hard candy and a non-alcoholic beverage like ice tea or lemonade to satisfy the habit of consuming a high carbohydrate beverage.

[@lieagain]

My lambic brain perceives fear in everything.

[@florenciaippolito2368]

@@lieagain mine too 😢

[@Ali76564]

It's the devil who spreads fear , especially in news ,fear of God is healthy and helping

[@rebeccariccardo7869]

Thank you ❤

[@DachshundStation]

❤ thank you for this

[@dimsun3039]

I agree. Thank you for this video.

[@rowanstarling3816]

This really helped a lot. I've been in and out of therapy for the past year and beyond that in and out of therapy since I was 17 and my mom left. I'm in my 50's now. This past year, one trauma after another and I have lost my joy and hope. I just want to feel something good again. I've felt shame all my life and now I feel a deeper level of shame because I keep attracting in men who betray me, and I knew better. I'm so done with all the childhood trauma and relationship trauma.

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

Sorry to hear. I don’t want for you to suffer any more. It was not your fault. You deserve better. You deserve to give yourself the gift of freedom.

[@Odetta-c3y]

This is so good. It’s been 3 years of letting go of people I love. 1st the boyfriend then 2 Sisters, a stepson and someone I was mentoring. The pandemic was a scary time and people were not coping well, I get that but I was holding on while they were acting out in mean ways. I let go and other people came in my life that see me and love me just the way I am. They are not trying to drain me emotionally. It’s been a painful journey but necessary. Thank you

[@mariacliment2767]

Gracias Tim ❤❤❤

[@helenenorman3598]

Thank you! 🙏🇸🇪

[@inkajarvela6051]

♡ thanksthanksthanks!

[@jordanmedwell]

I’ve become used to this and almost addicted to survival mode, trauma and avoidance. Anything outside that feels like it just can’t be done/achieved so I stay stuck and don’t live. Please can you tell me what this could be? All I feel I can do is get through each day but there isn’t help for what I’m going through (Benzo withdrawal, neurological damage, memory issues and dissociation) so I’m trapped. You can’t recover from trauma if you’re still in it.

[@ameya6702]

A genuinely curious question......."TO WHERE" should I let go of what I want to let go?

[@louisemoore5282]

Maybe a way of finding the answer to this question, is to see it as letting go of it, and watching it dissipate into the abyss of nothingness like a powder that breaks down into nothing . Visualisation is a powerful tool for some.

[@ameya6702]

A thought came to my mind, what if someone doesn't have a strong visual ability. Also, to visualize real and painful subjective memories to dissipate into an abyss is sort of a LIE that I am telling myself. Because there's no 'non-fictional' abyss for my 'non-fictional' painful memories. Helpful if this can be further explained or explored.

[@louisemoore5282]

That’s a very good question, as visualisation as you say, is not something that works for everyone. It could be something you could ask yourself how it might work for you as a non visual Person? Could it be a feeling or an energy rather than a visual experience that you could ‘let go’ of?

[@dustinanderson1994]

The people in my life that are no good I tend to go back to or want the approval. The people who want good for me I run away from when one red flag comes up. Why do I label everyone is my life as untrustworthy? I feel a huge lack of trust for myself.

[@lynxthewise7233]

People in general are untrustworthy. It's built into "society".

[@4xzx4]

Spot on

[@mariodebenedetti9276]

maan they melted my brain 3 times at 23yrs old using the sleep cure method and this shit still lives in me, i have changed everything i could possibly change, i have everything i ever dream thanks to hard work but my depression just wont go away, it never ends, i believed, lost 50 kgs,have stable job,live alone, muscles, a flashy car,different women every week and all the stupid toys most people see as valuable and yet still here i am venting and lamenting, full of rage like when i was at the psyche hospital in my worst moments, im going crazy, running away from the voice, but it just wont shut up

[@MishMacky]

@@mariodebenedetti9276 start meditating... It's frustrating to begin with and not really enjoyable, but over time it slows and decreases the racing negative thoughts.

[@mariodebenedetti9276]

@@MishMacky just run! its hard first but then you will start to enjoy it! but miss.. i dont have legs! you dont understand a thing about this disease, go away

[@LightWarriors4Life]

Depending, it can take multiple lifetimes. In other words, it never heals. Hence, why it can’t be let go, especially when doing it by yourself. Having a friend or relative that has your back, can help with the process of letting go and eventually healing. 🙏🏻😊💫☀️

[@MishMacky]

It can be a slow healing journey over a lifetime for some people.

[@Willsontime]

I like this VDO but I that there’s a balance of what to let go and what to keep as a default position. Clearly, pleasing people is one of the things to change, but a level of ruminating or reminding ourselves of past suffering and how it’s impacting us today can be OK to keep. Family systems is one theory or concept.

[@Illuminatewithlove]

🤍🕊️🕯️🫶 THANK YOU FOR THIS ❤ Authentic healing IS POSSIBLE. Your channel EDUCATES the HOW❤❤

[@louisemoore5282]

A new level, means a new devil. But so worth the hard work 😊

[@landline51]

I sat in shame and wrongness the majority of my life. I'm in recovery but question myself about what healthy looks like for me.

[@oflavia2910]

Its hard to navigate oneself around people, and Ive now limited people intersction. Yet I have multiple anxieties that wreck my minds balance. Not sure what to let go or how.

[@elizabethborreson1085]

🙏🏽Breaking “STRONGHOLDS” brought on through generational curses and sin, as well as our own sinful nature that we constantly open up these doors “HAS” to be implemented first, from there the work truly begins and healing is brought to Light and quickened💜🙏🏽🤲🏽 i am so grateful for you Tim and your healing you bring to us all, God Bless you!!!

[@Ali76564]

We all wired different

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

In order to let go one has to feel safe. I'm feeling unsafe all the time (and it's not because I'm not in dangerous circumstances). In the room I share with my abuser, and, on the streets due to violence. 😣😵‍💫😔😕

[@lynxthewise7233]

Sad how so many videos like this just assume we have the privilege of healing. A sick society does not enable healing. And so much about society is sick.

[@mandyporras07]

I have BPD would i still be able to do this?? I have a lot of anger

[@devotedlotus8]

Yeah the 3 to 6 months thing was ridiculous. Especially because it's a long, ongoing process that occurs over and over again with many issues that unfold in a non-linear way.

[@jodycasey6936]

I am starting to find great comfort in your voice/channel. I’m sorry I missed Friday night Live, I was in a guilt + shame cycle. Everything you are talking about relates to me. I appreciate the msgs contained herein. Go easy on ourselves, change won’t happen overnight. Thank you Pastor Tim!

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

Keep working on yourself- you may not see it YET, but you WILL realize it when you start to heal and feel the everyday gift of freedom. You are enough. Find your path. Much love

[@merrycristy]

It's so difficult

[@georgewatts6790]

How do I turn off my narcissist interject

[@TheAlfadir]

well apperently I am the one guy that figured out after 3 years that my latest relationship caused a trauma upon and within trauma and just let everything go, and then this popped up 😢😮❤

[@nightowl1674]

If you want to speed up your limbic brain "letting go” I recommend the book “The Emotion Code” by Dr. Bradley Nelson.

[@emchammer1815]

Did I give enough chances? always bugs me

[@mona5713]

The answer: Yes you did. More than enough.

[@stellaancimer8505]

It take years, and of course depend on the circustames of person, and how the brain works, definetly not a quick process lol!

[@lesleymcmillan1893]

“A new level means a new devil”! Yes! But Whyyyyyyy?!?

[@shahlathasni6525]

❤❤

[@caroleminke6116]

No more parents, no new partners, no problems now 💔❤️‍🩹♥️

[@user-xp9wz1nj3h]

Had to begin to leave toxic family. No friends only.aquantices. end up.not.talk.for.alot.of hours in the day. All new not people pleasing.

[@debbylee6329]

I had to do the same thing

[@georgewatts6790]

I do I turn off the narcissist interject

[@nathanhardman7143]

God damn why does life have to be so hard.

[@mcdijkhuizen941]

Now i dont have time left for a job😅

[@GeorgeFloyd2023]

Nobody is missing you.

[@fairygurl9269]

Retirement Papers😁

[@arjunjain5714]

But is the culture supportive of this? Seems like most people like to dunk their heads in cakes and grow grumpy when old. Then am I too special to work sooo hard to change myself?