POP SONG REVIEW: "Dear Future Husband" by Meghan Trainor

Meghan Trainor is all about that '50s gender roles.
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[@MagusMirificus]

"Maybe you're into broke, jobless guys who spend most of their day watching pirated episodes of Adventure Time." Of course Todd's true identity has always been up in the air, but I'll be honest, I never even suspected that he might secretly be me.

[@lucasbell4831]

MagusMirificus His face has been shown in video before.

[@TheHeroOfTomorrow]

“It was me-ME!”

[@nate._bar]

have you thrown four touchdowns in one game before

[@multijxde1855]

Ikr

[@UnorthodoxIndividual]

Wait that’s literally me. Is that a bad thing?

[@katekursive1370]

Preventing people from seeing their families is spousal abuse.

[@lunayoshi]

Beat me to it. One of the biggest red flags in a relationship. Unrealistic expectations (give me praise every day, I'm always right in arguments, etc.), observing strict gender roles, the implication that if he doesn't do everything she wants, she won't be "the perfect wife," which comes off as kinda threatening and manipulative to me. If she's serious about that, she could just make EVERYTHING he does wrong and keep him in a constant state of confusion and fear. But you know, if he's upset, he can't go to his family for help or guidance because she's cut him off from them. Oh god, so unhealthy...

[@gabrielwainio-theberge6969]

and she didn't actually... say she would.

[@gabrielwainio-theberge6969]

holy fuck lol why do Americans like comparing everything to cults so much?

[@INTPTT]

I think we're ignoring the "more than mine" line. She's saying that she expects them to visit her family as much as they visit his. That may be reasonable, unless his family lives nearby and hers is in Antartica or something. But it seems unhealthy to keep score in a marriage. Still, not as unhealthy as forbidding him from seeing his family, as people seem to be interpreting it.

[@NattiNekoMaid]

Just gonna leave a quote from my abusive ex "I'm not hypocritical, I just want someone who wants things to be like that."

[@bleezeblocks]

every single Meghan Trainer song sounds like it was made for an Old Navy commercial

[@animatedawesome5550]

looks like one too

[@Tea_Noire]

Animated Awesome Nah, the clothes everyone is wearing are waaaaay to stylized to be Old Navy.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Yeah. Even her songs in the Peanuts Movie sound like an Old Navy commercial. And those are probably her best work.

[@ilbv5]

bleeze blocks i think i heard it in gap

[@Seth-hc2bj]

Holy shit

[@Foxpawed]

Oh good, the "not a rhyme" button is still basically a jumpscare.

[@xavierreichel8254]

*_N O T A R H Y M E_*

[@alistair3911]

Xavier Reichel AAAAAHHHHHHH

[@JennaLeigh]

Literally read this RIGHT AFTER getting startled out of my fricking skin by the "not a rhyme" button. Auhhhggggghhhh

[@galleryofrogues]

I had headphones on and it scared the living shit outta me.

[@RinkoDinko]

Jesus Christ

[@FaeQueenCory]

After all these years......... Why is she "baking" a pie ON a stove?

[@someonerandom8552]

I suppose to be fair, the song does in fact indicate that she probably doesn't know how to cook or at least not to expect well cooked food.

[@harrisonsnellgrove8843]

Someone random the pie is a metaphor for society, and her burning it is indicative of her rejection of societies values in the face of her own self worth and personal growth. Plus it's a song about sex and she cooked an apple pie. We all know what you do with warm apple pie.... hmm.. she also burned it black. Black apple pie - apple pie being the American treat, black being the biggest civil rights movement of the year (black lives matter). Meagan Trainor fucked Shaq at a circus confirmed. You are welcome for this in depth analysis of "dear future husband".

[@someonerandom8552]

Well, either that or she really is just a shitty cook.

[@musicaldooder20]

FaeQueenCory HAHAHAHA!!! 🤣I never noticed that before. Thank you for pointing that out.

[@PIXPromosMore]

Jiffy Pop must make Pies now, I guess.

[@kaitlyngerik2418]

"Never seen your family more than mine" has some straight up abusive undertones. If a dude said that line, he would've been called out for it

[@pittland44]

Yes, yes he would.

[@annnee6818]

Seems like she is being called out too. But she's just a dumb teenager and most grown up wouldn't sing that dumb line. I think it's only meant to be fair but she could have worded it better. The entire lyrics are annoying as hell

[@gabe_s_videos]

@@annnee6818 It sounds like someone telling "Take my wife, please!" jokes without actually realizing why they're funny. Or rather they got all of their relationship advice from watching their parents constantly argue and be on the brink of divorce.

[@annnee6818]

@@gabe_s_videos Or get their relationship advice from very bad movies about what men fear feminism might possibly mean🤣

[@gabe_s_videos]

@@annnee6818 Haha, that too!

[@axis1247]

Ok as a man I can straight up say that EVERYONE should learn to cook its an essential skill as well as being able to clean and organize these aren't skills you should be getting married to someone for

[@Shadowtheheartbroken]

Gf is attempting to teach me. I can say LISTEN TO THE MAN

[@trueloveis4u]

I only like cooking for others so to be honest I'd be happy to cook for my future husband.

[@thepipmace8978]

Higetsu Namikawa LISTEN TO WOMAN

[@luxothemimikyu5559]

Yeah, it’s not impressive if you can cook unless you can make like Gordon Ramsay or bake stable wedding cakes that aren’t 50% fondant. It’s basically required these days.

[@brokenandcraked]

I'm a professional chef and when I started dating my boyfriend, he could only make Kraft dinner. It's become a fun bonding activity for me to teach him how to cook. Spending time together and bring encouraging has made meals fun.

[@IizJessieify]

I absolutely hate everything about this song, and I hate people touting Meghan Trainor as a feminist icon. This isn't feminist, this is just being demanding and cruel to your husband. Marriages are about mutual respect and compromise. Then again All About That Bass totally missed the mark too so I guess we shouldn't expect better.

[@didbel3908]

mintyfreshdeath do you you hate the instrumental of the song?

[@theblackbaron4119]

@@didbel3908 the instrumental is stolen from Dion's Run around Sue. Which is actually a great song.

[@tomvolz3760]

At least when G Eazy vandalized this song he acknowledged it. He also expected us to approve of it, which was never going to happen. But at least he was upfront about it. I hope Dion got paid for this at least.

[@wratchedlore5015]

@@didbel3908 What's to hate about it? It's "Runaround Sue."

[@amityislandchum]

I've literally never seen anyone call her a feminist icon. Kind of a weird straw man to include.

[@PaninaroAurora]

My mom actually DID restrict my dad from spending time with his family. And it was a shitty, abusive thing to do.

[@Devo57]

PaninaroAurora that’s sad to hear, I feel really bad for him

[@valerieb4446]

PaninaroAurora my mom did the same yikes

[@pink3puppy]

I wish I could go see my husband's family more. They live states away and I would take the drive every month if we could afford it.

[@alemeral9987]

Same thing except it was my dad who restricted my mom from spending time with her family

[@brokenandcraked]

My mom did the same with my dad. I have only met my dad's side of the family twice. Once at my sister's wedding, because my dad asked my sister to invite them. And the second time was a family reunion, that my mom refused to go to. I'm almost 30 years old.

[@queenemma5823]

Aww come on, Todd. Don't compare Tina Belcher to Megan Trainor. Tina deserves better than that

[@Ryucallie]

Poor Tina, girl doesn’t deserve that compassion.

[@someonerandom8552]

This song is majorly creepy. I'm a woman and it's not even a funny fantasy. It sounds like she just stepped out of Leave it to Beaver.

[@cruzgomes5660]

I feel like the couple in Leave it to Beaver probably was more happy too

[@darienwhite6223]

Hey, that's a MAJOR insult to Leave It To Beaver.

[@someonerandom8552]

Darien White Okay, my sincerest apologies to Leave it Beaver. I’m sure the family was far more well adjusted and happy than Miss Trainer.

[@bcubed72]

Because it's not YOUR fantasy, you forbid it to be anyone else's? No; you don't sound like a control freak at all...

[@darienwhite6223]

@@bcubed72 if anyone has this fantasy they ought to be in a mental institution

[@Torthrodhel]

Is this song for marriage what 50 Shades is for kink? * rewriting abuse as romantic because imaginary character is totes into it for no reason * series of bafflingly random ideas seemingly out of nowhere * clearly never actually tried what she's writing about

[@carltontheduke2571]

I have never made that connection until you just described it. Knowing that just makes it worse.

[@matthewmeehan9155]

That is the best analysis I've ever read.

[@jbtechcon7434]

That's where a lot of this faux-feminism is just pandering. Women who try to live by this attitude will end up alone or married to a gamma she abuses because he disappoints her so much.

[@Torthrodhel]

@@jbtechcon7434 I mean, nobody deserves to get lumbered with an abuser. Anything that makes an excuse for it is a bad thing.

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

*served up in a unappealing sloppy mess (I will never fucking get over the "elongated nipples" in 50 shades ).

[@gabe_s_videos]

This video originally came out when I was with my abusive ex girlfriend and it's creepy to see how much this song reminds me of her. She was VERY into traditional gender roles (always tell me I'm beautiful, provide for me, let me win all the arguments) and it wasn't until we were starting to get really serious that I realized she was being 100% serious. I suddenly hate this song even more.

[@tonywords6713]

Robogabriel same. Girl cheated on me over and over and talked a bunch of shit on me, tried to be nice but she was a constant instigator and honestly maybe a sociopath, but then she'd come back to me and fuck over the other guys!!! Anyways ill always remember that she said "ive asked you to stop speaking to me, respect it".

[@oof-rr5nf]

I am so sorry, Gabriel.

[@cospinanyc]

Most people that fall into the "traditional" gender roles of how men and women should behave, especially in relationships, tend to be fucking sociopath's.

[@l_0275]

Good job.

[@gabe_s_videos]

@@cospinanyc Yup, sounds like her.

[@thefairybug40]

My sister played this song at her bachelorette party, saying how much she loved it. I called it psychotic before I could quite stop myself. If looks could kill.

[@Lycan_the_deerdog]

Alyssa Davidson Your sister's husband has my condolences. No offense to your sis

[@KazeShikamaru]

Alyssa Davidson wow I feel bad for you.

[@NIGEL341Hilasd]

My condolences to your sisters husband

[@OrNaurItsKat]

It's been 2 years, how's that marriage going?

[@ocinidolegna]

Kat good question

[@HeatWill]

I have one big memory associated with this song from back in middle school. Our music teacher had each of us write and present a paper about our favorite song. One girl chose "Dear Future Husband" and she spent her entire presentation starring at her increasingly uncomfortable boyfriend, who I'm pretty sure dumped her later that week. He was sitting right next to me too. It was hilarious in a painfully awkward sort of way.

[@MissAlmostFine]

Damn, that’s rough.

[@thegameowl11]

Yeah glad he saw the red flag there 🚩🚩🚩

[@Absolia24]

I hate this song so much. Trainer comes off as absolutely vindictive and horrible, and it just pulls my heart strings in all the wrong ways. I just feel so bad for the hypothetical "husband" here, because I know real marriages that run like this and it rubs me the wrong way that she'd even joke about it like this. It's obviously not meant to be a "laugh at the horrible thing to get over the pain" song, it's a "laugh at the person suffering this horrible pain." Does she have no sympathy?!?

[@musiclover_kb4913]

U know who she's dating right now? Just found out, she's with Daryl Sabara. Who is that, you may ask? It's the kid who played Juni in Spy Kids. Oh poor Juni Cortez, he just got tangled with a femi-Nazi

[@daisybryar2737]

Does this hypothetical marriage sound like abuse to anyone else??? At the very least she's demanding her husband fulfill her every whim in exchange for the chance of sex, but the stuff about restricting access to his family and never leaving an argument until he gives in to her sounds like abuse

[@WobblesandBean]

I just don't get attitudes like this. So in your eyes, being a feminist is on par with being a nazi. Whatever you say, dude. :p So the entire concept of women's rights (which also greatly benefits men) *_offends_* you, eh mate? Gee thanks dude, I'll NEVER leave!

[@musiclover_kb4913]

No, let me elaborate. A Femi-Nazi is someone who goes on long, unnecessary man-hating tirades, and literally goes out of their way to make the male species seem and feel inferior, and uses feminism as a way to cover it up. Oh and yes the marriage described in this song is very much emotional abuse.

[@cryw1092]

Amelia Bee Feminism is not synonymous with Women's Rights. Feminism is good for nothing, but women's rights is still needed in other parts of the world.

[@OnEiNsAnEmOtHeRfUcKa]

This song is literally just "I want all the benefits of being a married housewife in the 50s with none of the associated responsibilities or expectations." And then she wonders why people are pissed because she has such a crippling lack of self-awareness she can't even see how entitled, arrogant and concieted that is.

[@alexbennet4195]

Actually, I think you’ve missed the point. It’s more like “I’m against sexist gender roles except actually I’m not and also low-key abusive”.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

So she is the STOP ERA ladies from "Mrs. America"?

[@markusnashorn1145]

What makes me really uncomfortable here is how she uses sex as a bargaining chip. If this really were the 1960s, this would be her duty. Her LEGAL duty. Or at least something that her husband couldn't be punished if he took it against her will. I don't know how often men raped their wives in the 60s, maybe women were so fucking submissive that they never thought they had a right to say no, or maybe both sides wouldn't immediately think of violence and rape if the woman said no, but the woman still gave in. I've been watching stuff from the 60s recently, and while some women have their own mind, sometimes a woman in the the same show is so fucking submissive, I want to punch and shake these women and yell at them how on earth they can act like a child or a slave and not like an equal partner in marriage. Some act like they can't do anything on their own without their husband's approval or say how he will be mad if they go behind his back, or have to plead with him, and I'm thinking, SOO??? What are you afraid of, that he would hit you??? I don't know, I find these women being so submissive and accepting of their husbands making every decision for them and their children when there is no threat of violence even more disturbing. With violence, there is at least a reason for the behavior. And concerning a man's right to rape his wife, even in most Civilized, Modern, Western, First World countries, this was only officially abolished around the turn of the millennium. GET THIS. Not the 70s. Not the 80s. Not even the fucking 90s. In Germany, a man could no longer forbid his wife to work in 1976, and I thought this was when the constitution's "Men and Women are equal" thing was finally made reality, but I guess I was wrong. In the 1950s, a man could no longer forbid his wife from having her own bank account, and ok, this wasn't that long after our country was founded, but I wonder what you do with your account if your husband can prevent you from working, well only after a while because you neglect your wifely duties, meaning you are too tired for sex, but hey just lay there, that's his right, too! I think that was something that Susan B Anthony in the US also could do as an unmarried woman, work and have a bank account... Still, why are these things separated? I know in Germany, the same people who were against marriage equality for homosexuals also were against abolishing a man's right to rape his wife... I would have loved to throw that into that ancient, homophobic fucker who appeared in talk shows and was talking about what marriage means to him... yes, rape was a big part of it. But in the 90s, he described unmarried people of the Green party as living in confused relationships, and called out our MALE chancellor at the time, Schröder, for not caring about marriage that much, since he was already married FOUR times... Hah, about ten years later, he calls homosexuals confused and tells our president he should divorce his estranged wife and marry his girlfriend like the previous one did after he divorced... And most people thought that the problem was that his wife had a right to his pension and what not not his girlfriend... I think if the president was just separated from his wife, living alone, that politician would not have cared as much if he was unmarried AND living with a woman. But NORMAL people do not give a single fuck about this, except that they might pay for a woman that has no relationship with him. He was actually lucky that both cases were happening at the same time. Another argument in an English show about gay marriage was how marriage protects the weak links, the woman and the child... The reporter (a man) was simply confused why that conservative was saying women were the weaker part, but apparently he did not think how, until recently, the classical traditional marriage built on the differences between man and woman, which actually meant less rights and less protection for a woman and the child, at least in Germany the SAME people of the CSU were also against abolishing the parents' right to beat their children in 2000. Sometimes you could feel ashamed to be Bavarian... except I never liked or voted for the CSU anyway... except the one and only time I had to when I voted for our Mutti. Apart from being forced to pay, I don't know how being married to the father of your child helps you, you could even get a paternity test for that. And calling women the weaker link... this reminds me of a text I read in a German schoolbook, must have been 5th to 8th grade, it was about how those new, modern skateboard rowdies are a danger to the weak parts of society, very young children, old people, WOMEN... And I think, wait what?? You put healthy young women in the same category as toddlers and people on crutches who can't jump out of the way of skateboarders?? And wasn't this written for some meeting, were there no women there? Is this written by men for men?? I don't know the context, maybe it was meant to be archaic, but it was just a side sentence, and it was probably more about the new skateboarders, and I don't know when this was from, but even in the 60s, I find this sick beyond belief.

[@christianmasters5374]

Megan Trainor is the human embodiment of a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign

[@necrodamus5481]

She's basically Karen music

[@KrisRN23935]

I never been so insulted... On behalf of a poster in my life😂

[@Kumaclaws]

Megan Train or is the Anti-Adele. obnoxiously catty, unapologetic, trying to be prideful but coming off as trying way too hard, and the dictator of the relationship. At least with Adele being prideful you feel kind of good for her because she's sung sad songs with actual emotion.

[@wirelad2007]

''i never learned to cook, but i can write a hook'.I can just imagine her future kids sat round the dinner table waiting for food and she's like; ''sorry, don't know how to cook. But i can write a song for you''? And then they die of neglect

[@SotheX]

+TIMOTHY YOUNG which mean's she'll probably spawn some garbage children with fucked up morals they learned from their mother.

[@wolfenman1013]

I take it you’ve never heard of the fancy new invention known as fast food.

[@ShersterQ]

It takes two to tango, so unless the dad isn't around maybe he can cook? Someone's gotta

[@RinkoDinko]

That's really good comedy tbh Meghan: hey kids, i know you haven't eaten in a couple months but how's about a song with a poorly concieved message (JUMP CUT TO THE KIDS LYING DEAD ON THE FLOOR)

[@SantaFishes101]

@@RinkoDinko Literally me and my mother, only she didn't write songs, she just smoked weed

[@gentlemandemon]

I always found the "don't have a dirty mind" line particularly grating cuz she uses sex as a reward in just about every other part of the song

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

It’s a pretty underhanded and manipulative tactic, simultaneously rewarding and punishing the same behavior at non-disclosed intervals.

[@brettpgh3312]

Her first hit song - All About That Bass Opening lyric to her second hit song - Tell me that you're not just about this bass That's who she is

[@alannahfisherman1321]

Give the song credit; it is realistic advise for a girl to call all the shots.

[@gwenhwyfar3690]

I'm German and songs like that are the reason why I regret it to understand english so well.

[@Mantoisful]

Gwenhwyfar I'm sorry

[@DougGlendower]

I learned German through a peppy pop song about... well... nuclear war.

[@MrRenegadeshinobi]

As an American. I apologize.

[@ADIDDASKNIKE]

Prob accidently will learn german just cuz 99red balloons is so good.

[@lucayaki]

As a Brazilian, same.

[@theneonchimpchannel9095]

If she's going for a retro, 1960's sound...she's failing miserably. It's obviously an influence, but music didn't sound this fake or plastic then. It's more like a throwback to a 1980's throwback to the 1960's. It actually sounds more like something from Sesame Street. But the production style is 100% modern. It's auto-tuned to death for a start. This is about as authentic as Christina Aguilira's "Candyman". Also, if you actually listen to the music of the era she's trying and failing to replicate, most of the women were actually more powerful than this. Especially the further you get into the 1960's with the rise of feminism.

[@Hammerhead547]

Tina Turner's first solo album is basically a giant middle finger to her ex-husband Ike. What's Love Got To Do With It is her literally saying: "you treated me like shit and I hate you for it, but I'm a better person than you" in song form too Ike.

[@pabloni1117]

Don't diss Sesame Street music like that, they actually have good writers and musicians who know what they're doing

[@sweesbees]

hell, that thing you do is a much better throwback. i can't tell you if it's accurate to the sound of the 60s, but it sure is more fun to listen to. plus if you told me it is accurate, i wouldn't be surprised at all, it's that good.

[@MadiBendy]

I’d rather listen to aretha franklin than this shit ever again…

[@otaking3582]

Creating era-appropriate music shouldn't be this difficult, especially for someone that can afford decent writers and producers. If Sonic Mania can make early 90's house music, a mainstream musician should be able to make 1950's and 60's music.

[@The482075]

This is Meghan Traynor's worst song. Even her obnoxious song "No" is not this bad. Relationships are not contracts. Two people really click. They want to help each other out, because they care about one another. They work through a myriad of issues, baggage and drama because they both want the relationship to work. Two individuals have to deal with so many difficulties. They have to learn how to communicate to one another whilst also not hurting the other person's feelings. They are really complicated and very often don't work out, despite both persons trying their very best. I will admit. I am no authority on this topic. However even I realise that you can't reduce a relationship to "me, me, me, me". It's never going to work, and you'd be better off hiring a servant. They will be your "yes man", do everything you ask without question and be completely spineless as long as you pay them well. Given how bad Meghan Traynor is treating this "hypothetical future husband", she will need to pay this poor servant a lot of money.

[@0wjgnrkjnjgNfsmaf]

Bobby Ranger in what she's actually saying, this is her worst song. But the song which I think is her overall worst song, is that 'if I was you I'd wanna be me too' bullshit, makes me want to tear my ears off, the beat is abhorrent, and her singing is honestly the worst I've ever heard in a song.

[@The482075]

Oh dear. Yeah that song was so bad, my mind must have blanked that one out. Yeah that was bad. I don't get what accent she is going for in that song. It's healthy to love yourself. However writing a song about how much you love yourself is going a bit far.

[@SotheX]

Like i think i get what she's trying to go for, but the message WAY too loose and the influential people out there take it to heart. I had a girlfriend who adored pretty much every Trainor song out there, and she became this psycho bitch i couldnt stand anymore. She eventually kept moving on to more and more relationships, and she still wonders what's wrong. Why can't she have the "perfect guy" this idol of here has created? Sickening.

[@xxllarge116]

I actually like No. not the lyrics, it's just catchy

[@ffjreviews9029]

Nah. No is worse.

[@energy7425]

Watching todd in the shadows is kinda terrifying, like what if someone hears the part where the music plays and they think I actually like it

[@Spider-Man_234]

PREACH

[@HartyBiker]

I'm watching this video very quietly for that exact reason

[@chicoarraes]

toxicity in the form of a song

[@SotheX]

I know what you meant, but the actual song "Toxicity" makes a better song than this~

[@radiofloyd2359]

Except it's not from SOAD

[@EmilyB1201]

My fav band woo

[@RatelHBadger]

The toxicity of our city...

[@1daboi100]

@@RatelHBadger of our ciiiiiityyyy!

[@novapariah8135]

Hey Todd, would you mind upping the volume of your own vocals in your videos? It gets hard to hear you, then when I try to turn the volume up, suddenly the music plays and there go my ears.

[@musiclover_kb4913]

I know right? It's something that needs to be fixed

[@musicaldooder20]

Spongey Plus that loud as hell buzz when he hits the "Not a Rhyme" button. Friggin destroyed my ears, lol.

[@novapariah8135]

I'm fine with the "NOT A RHYME" button, because the point of the joke is to be loud, so I can tolerate it. It's just the unintentional aspect of him being super quiet and then the music being super loud that annoys me.

[@musicaldooder20]

Spongey Oh I know that's the point of the joke too. Still hurt my ears the first time, lol. But I hate that crap too. So many different KZbinrs have that issue with the volume and it bugs me.

[@mastermarkus5307]

I especially hated that when I had roommates and I was worried they would think I have a shitty taste in pop.

[@Grimfang999]

This song kind of makes me sad. I really love the style, rhythm and melody of this song, but I cant stand Megan Trainor in the slightest.

[@empeanutson]

I sometimes feel that way too, but then I remember that I can just listen to Runaround Sue.

[@IdontknowwhatImdoing539]

Check out ollie murs song "dance with me tonight" It has the same style melody and rhythm, so much so that I think trainor just up and stole it

[@wratched]

The rhythm and melody are taken from a 1960s song called "Runaround Sue." Which is about a woman who gets around with other guys. And that's bad. Sung by Dijon, who also sang a song called "The Wanderer", which had an identical rhythm and melody, and was about a guy who gets around with all the girls, and that's great.

[@mysryuza]

grimfang999 I agree

[@bubblegumbitch2191]

Sampled by olly Murs ‘dance with me tonight’

[@actuallypeggle]

why does nobody ever comment on his piano? He’s really good!

[@averagecoasterenjoyer]

Better than the actual song, at least in this case

[@Scsigs]

Meghan Trainor's basically the Amy Schumer of music, isn't she?

[@imveryangryitsnotbutter]

Has anyone noticed that you never see Meghan Trainor and Amy Schumer in the same room together? Yes, of course I'm joking.

[@fren8595]

I'm Very Angry It's Not Butter!! That's because they couldn't both fit

[@zombieedrea]

Scsigs oh my god she is.

[@l2method]

seems legit

[@Ambipie]

Unfunny whale!

[@JackedThor-so]

Listening to Megan Trainer as a gay guy is such a surreal experience. Looking at this from an outside lens is one of the most befuddling things. Her vision is so "you versus me." Here's an idea: each of you take responsibilities for things you are good at and make compromises. The raw strict binary heteronormativity of her songs make me want to throw up!

[@yourlocalnerd7788]

So many straight cis couples could probably benefit from talking to queer couples about who does what and how they decide that.

[@Theo-gu2tk]

@@yourlocalnerd7788 For REAL

[@adrianghandtchi1562]

Jesus that buzzer scared the shit outta me

[@gollum1ring]

The tune is catchy, the content is troubling. I kind of imagine this as that guilty pleasure song one uses to torture their significant other.

[@wratched]

The reason the tune is catchy is because it's the tune to "Runaround Sue". Ironic because that song comes with its own dodgy gender politics

[@catsinwonderland7473]

The lyrics could've been so much better...

[@expresso4thedeppresso]

Indeed

[@SirLightsOut99]

If only it wasn't literally about a woman torturing her significant other under the guise of romantic devotion.

[@missnotsocool96]

Can we all collectively agree to leave Meghan behind in the wasteland of 2016 and move forward?

[@c0mf0rta61ynum6]

We, the Internet, most certainly can. The general public, on the other hand...

[@queenemma5823]

Can we bring back Pink Floyd though?? I know they technically never left, but...

[@bettyjojoeharperre-imagina7322]

MissNotSoCool 96 2017 is already is way worse. We got Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do" and my fiancé and I broke up... worst year ever.

[@mikerivera373]

I’m coming to you from 2018. Your wish was granted.

[@lbintenew]

2019 is here, we better have good luck

[@yvetteberner815]

God, I hate this song so much. It feels so backwards in how it portrays both men and women. If I had no idea what marriage was like and I listened to this song, I'd be horrified and swear never to get married!

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

It’s been several years, but the dichotomy between “buying groceries” and “I never learned to cook” is incredibly funny to me. “I’ll be the perfect wife! I’ll even buy you groceries so that you can have the pleasure of cooking all my food!”

[@GoTE_DocShock]

"I'm not gonna ask someone who sounds like she's never dated anybody except for their Zac Efron poster!"

[@TheCursedHikari]

That line had me crying 😂

[@unbindingfloyd]

Man. Shania Twain looks amazing in that video.

[@pyle332]

I can't tell if I like your name more than I agree more with your statement. Either way, thumbs up

[@queenemma5823]

My pappy had the biggest crush on her back in the day. Had her calendar and everything

[@justthecoolestdudeyo9446]

Scientists say her face is proportionately perfectly physiologically to be attractive. Like, not jokingly, apparently there was some study that named her and Jessica Alba as people with the ideal facial structure lol

[@RoastedPheasant]

4 years later and I still can't believe that a song glorifying abuse was something America decided deserved the top 100. "Teeheehee! You can't disagree with me or tell me no, your money is my money, I'm going to cut you off from your family, and you're going to grovel at my feet even when I am being awful and toxic! Teeheehee!" You were way too nice on this song.

[@applemask]

I can't believe you can't believe it

[@weiang6655]

TODD YOUR NOT A RHYME BUZZ SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME BECAUSE IT WAS SO LOUD

[@Hysterically_Accurate]

My parents in the next room heard it through my headphones :'(

[@SotheX]

Ive been watching Todd long enough to know a loud stinger was coming.

[@agnieszkasalach4395]

Ok, can we just agree that people talking about what they "deserve" is creepy, entitled and a red flag, no matter if it's a creepy internet nice guy or a female pop star

[@senabea]

I honestly think the song is kind of catchy, but the lyrics absolutely kill it for me

[@SeanStrife]

There's a reason for that: the actual melody isn't even hers. It's just "Runaround Sue". If you want that melody without Meghan Trainor's psychotic trash lyrics, just go listen to "Runaround Sue"

[@Ashethetics]

It’s also Olly Murs’ ‘Dance With Me’

[@allisonelizabeth6596]

Instrumental?

[@djfransiscan]

"I'm gonna play videogames, eat garbage, and not put on pants." dude, is that not the best life at home?

[@Empyre18]

This song is kind the equivalent of when a female friend comes to you sad about the fact that she’s not having any luck with online dating, and so you try to cheer her up and help by offering to look at her OKCupid profile and see if there might be ways it could be improved. And then you look at it and immediately think to yourself internally, “oh...oh dear. I think I might know what the problem is.” But then when she asks you what you think, you can’t bring yourself to be honest, so you just meekly say “it’s...it’s real good! You just gotta...keep at it, plenty of fish in the sea and all that.” After which you feel guilty for not being brutally honest, but then also would’ve felt guilty if you HAD been honest.

[@michaelkppguitar9761]

This is so incredibly specific it feels like it happend to me twice

[@godclothshango1194]

20's? holy crap till now o thought she was legit like 38 till now.

[@noonenowhere877]

So basically Todds problem with the song is partially that the ideas make no sense and are years out of date and partially that Meghan Trainor doesn't have the charisma, self-awareness or sex appeal to pull off being either a generic nineteen fifties stereotype or a controlling dominatrix. She sounds completely sure both of the way marriage works and her own worth. While simultaneously not doing shit to back it up. either musically, lyrically or with sheer stage persona. Much like the persona in the lyrics, the song itself doesn't offer the listener shit.

[@jvondd]

The fact that Meghan Trainor can sing about denying her potential husband's access to his own family while smiling is disturbing.

[@CaptainSkullDemon]

Meanwhile, in another room, Nostalgia Chick's singing "I Can Treat You Better" through the wall to Todd.

[@Lycan_the_deerdog]

AnimeFanDemon I read that as nostalgia critic and I was very confused

[@TheHeroOfTomorrow]

BETTAHDENNYGEN

[@andrewollmann304]

TheHeroOfTomorrow Get a nanny cam?

[@ffjreviews9029]

BED A DANNY CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@tegantalks9612]

Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain is an absolute bop that you can’t help but smile and feel happy when you sing, especially juxtaposed with the album opener about divorce and the equally upbeat fun song about cheating that follows it.

[@TheSongwritingCat]

She recently got married. It felt appropriate to watch this video again.

[@山田連続]

She makes music for moms that shop at hobby lobby and eat too much Arby’s and are trying to be hip and relatable to their daughters

[@MoonStruckBunnyIRL]

I caught that Married with Children joke, I also can no longer binge your videos late at night because I laugh too loud and wake up people.

[@Lona818]

Now we now who that ‘future husband’ is: The Spy Kids boy....hope he gets the memo!

[@qct101]

This is feminist in the same way that accidental racist is anti racism, I know what you were gong for but i'm getting the opiset effect.

[@23Starcatcher]

Like how they hate having doors opened for them and taking the guys name but are perfectly okay with guys paying for their dates and guys paying child support despite not consenting to a kid to the point where they get angry when they don't pay up?

[@debysteele3806]

As a female, I take offense to women like that. That" want the cake and eat it too " syndrome of gals who somehow have gotten PPS (Platinum P***y Syndrome); I want to shake them, and tell them guys are not ATM machines or robots that do their bidding, or workhorses to keep them in expensive, shiny things. I love it when a man opens my door, obviously he knows I can open it myself but to me, it's a sign of good manners. I appreciate these little odes to femininity, and I take him out and pay. If women should stop thinking they are princesses above it all, and be a little appreciative, a lot of the resentment that men feel would dissipate.

[@davidw3709]

To summarize the song: "Dear Future Husband, Do everything for me and I'll treat you like shit. Why? Because fuck you that's why." No man in his right mind wants such a woman.

[@patrickomeara3700]

I once attended a wedding where this was played as part of the introduction of the bride during the ceremony. I’m proud of myself for not openly cackling

[@lostnemesis]

I was listening to someone singing this in karaoke and I remarked "oh this is the English yandere song." Luckily people knew what I was talking about and had a realization that this song matches that all too well.

[@disneydork100]

Me: I'm a feminist, I believe in equality! *this song plays* Me:*violently turns off radio*

[@crimsonwizahd2358]

Why do I imagine you smashing the radio with a hammer?

[@23Starcatcher]

How cute to be so young and naive.

[@mind2162]

@@23Starcatcher jesus christ just leave them alone and quit trying to ignite a warzone in this video.

[@OnEiNsAnEmOtHeRfUcKa]

If you're into actual equality then Egalitarian > Feminist. Since that one is about equality between ALL creeds (including race, etc.), as opposed to feminism, which, well, literally has one specific gender in the name...

[@HartyBiker]

Me: I'm not a feminist, so I believe in equality! *This song plays* Me: Violently turns off radio

[@Gingerm0nster]

Now that we know her Dear Future Husband is Juni from Spy Kids, this is even funnier

[@DreFromMaine8472]

Better him than any of us. I feel SO bad for that guy!

[@LethargicScientist]

I will say that "this relationship is fictional and it's already soul-sucking" is a great line.

[@user36able]

I read a thing on Reddit - that fountain of wisdom - that said you should marry someone that you consider your best friend. I really like that piece of advice.

[@longlivebeans]

Nothing makes me wanna pull out a ouija board & beg Amy Winehouse to come back more than hearing a Meghan Trainor song.

[@robertnewman4854]

Just remember, the boy from Spykids heard this and decided that "yeah, that sounds good to me".

[@JosetteFret93]

If Meghan wants to be treated like a lady and "deserve the very best" perhaps she should start actually acting like she deserves it.

[@mythiot]

Meghan Trainor's "Future Husband" turned out to be the actor who played Juni Cortez in Spy Kids, and now I'm picturing him mock-singing this song back to her in her voice.

[@drengskap]

Restricting your spouse's access to their own family = coercive and controlling behaviour. There's actually a law against that now, at least where I live.

[@paintitpeachydontforgetthe539]

“Hello future girlfriend this is what I sound like”

[@allysonmccartney2150]

And now she's marrying Juni from spy kids... pray for him

[@theblackbaron4119]

What O.o

[@andrewollmann304]

I know...I was surprised too.

[@lucify8143]

𝐈-

[@lucify8143]

Some Kid FR HOW

[@kazooplayer3]

@@lucify8143 IKRRRR. Also my faith in humans has been restored now that I know there's someone else who's wasting their life on KZbin at 3 am

[@python1972]

9:33 I will never get over the delivery of this line, it just absolutely so well encompasses what everybody thinks but never says

[@thatonezeldaguy250]

funny thing is megan talks about being overweight but she's clearly not

[@lucapeyrefitte6899]

ThatOneZeldaGuy not anymore lol

[@thatonezeldaguy250]

Luca Peyrefitte even in all about that base she wasn't

[@lucapeyrefitte6899]

ThatOneZeldaGuy maybe it was the new outfits in her last video that made her look skinny but even then when they were playing all about that base out on the radio I already stopped caring for her

[@SeanStrife]

Meghan Trainor is "Hollywood overweight", which basically means she's what most people would consider "average".

[@bimbolecter9764]

one of my friend is overweight and absolutely hate this song bc of that, and the fact that it just portrays what annoying dudes who spam her on instagram think about her physic

[@TheIslandDivision]

Todd killed it in that game for Polk High. Come on man, FOUR freaking touchdowns! LEGENDARY.

[@vocalcalibration8033]

Seriously I half watch Todd's videos for his piano renditions of the songs at the start of the review.

[@adromea5628]

I prefer to call this song: "Unrealistic expectations"

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

Seriously....Who has NEVER learned how to cook even one dish? Yeah, apple pie might be beyond some people, but are you telling me you can't boil pasta, Meghan Trainor? Cooking is just a useful thing to know how to do as a grown-ass adult.

[@Hammerhead547]

The character in the song sounds like the type of person for whom toasting frozen waffles is an impossible task to master so they just eat out at McD's and other fast food joints all the time.

[@tafua_a]

I know one guy that can't even make himself a sandwich. If he gets home after his girlfriend left to go have theatre rehearsal, he's not eating dinner.

[@Tea_Noire]

I always thought the line was "And no we'll never see your family more than mine," meaning that they'll never see his side of the family more than her side. Song is till awful tho.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

.midival_Minstrel It still sounds deliberately restrictive.

[@flower-yl6iw]

you ask who this is marriage is attractive to and i can tell you the kind of person: this girl i used to be friends with loved this song and also she tried baby trapping my best friend at the time's younger brother by poking holes in condoms and not taking her birth control. it kinda worked because even tho they broke up he did get her pregnant and then she pretended it was her new boyfriend's kid so she could baby trap him instead. we are no longer friends for obvious reasons.

[@SugaredViolette]

Any time my brain tries to trick me into listening to a Meghan Trainor song, I locate this review asap and save myself the hassle. Thank you, Todd! You saved me once again!

[@Jaceblue04]

"Know we'll never see your family more than mine" is the most psychotic thing I've ever heard in a pop song, and I've heard "Monster," where the narrator says that they get along with the voices in their head.

[@Hammerhead547]

Hearing kids sing this song is almost as creepy as seeing a chior of 9 year olds singing ozzy's no more tears which is about a serial killer who kills prostitutes and then has sex with their corpses.

[@crj_stan3237]

i didn't even know so many todd reviews had been taken out until now

[@jimpemberton2246]

I had forgotten how beautiful Shania Twain was!

[@Dragoon1809]

Just looked up Shania Twain 2016/17, and yeah she still looks good.

[@SeanStrife]

Also, Shania Twain could get away with making those kinds of demands; she's a solid 8 on a bad day... I would not stick my dick ANYWHERE near Meghan Trainor.

[@InfiniteLilith]

I rewatch this episode every month and for some fucking reason I get jumpscared by the "Not a rhyme"-alarm EVERY SINGLE TIME

[@AJOmega2]

5:24 Todd: 'Oh good, the Not A Rhyme button still works.' Everyone else: 'JESUS CHRIST MY EARS'

[@samdragonborn5864]

I had a dream husband in high school And a dream wife Basically my qualifications were “Calls me pretty” “Is pretty/handsome” “Likes dogs”

[@scribesorcerer4967]

The reason Runaround Sue is liked and this is hated is simple. Runaround Sue is about a serial cheater and is told from a victims perspective. You sympathize. Dion’s lyrics make it quite clear he is suffering because he found out the girl he cared about cheated on him. This song honestly feels like Sue is singing. No care, no empathy, just an expectation of everything on a silver platter in a current status where both men and women don’t find things like that appealing. This song ticks me off so much because of how honestly abusive and toxic this marriage sounds. With genuinely horrifying ideas like keeping the husband from his family, keeping her pampered while he is only given the faintest hint of intimacy that she seems completely indifferent about. This isn’t love, this isn’t romance, this is straight up ownership and it’s disgusting. Thank you for your thoughts Todd, and seriously Ms. Trainor get a clue.

[@sapphirewarrior]

I somehow missed that Married With children reference at the end when I first saw this. Glad I watched it again if only for that.

[@HipsterShiningArmor]

the kid from Spy Kids really listened to this song and thought she was spittin

[@popstarprincess123]

My head cannon is he didn’t listen to this song somehow that’s why we now have Mother

[@JJ-fg2wd]

Well she sure ain't swallowing

[@Sketchguy1248]

"Sex isn't just a treat you give to the dog" Whitney Wisconsin will remember that.

[@Petepeatpeet]

"You'll never see your family more than mine." Meghan Trainor really just condoned spousal abuse

[@joshboy64]

I swear to Christ, the close-ups on Meghan Trainor make her look unnaturally plastic. Like - holy shit. And for some reason, it makes the music video seem even worse. Whoever lit that video deserves to get fired.

[@sega32xxx14]

This is easily your best critique, and even your best video. Well done Toddwick.

[@rachelmarieLMT]

You can be married and still not wear pants and play video games. The trick is finding a decent looking chick that will play video games in their undies with you! ....and not hold you hostage from your family and friends. We are few and far in between but we exist.

[@spacefacey]

Yeah this comments makes it sound like you think women are inherently bad lol

[@lisaschuster9305]

Few and far in between? I don't think so.

[@monohina1997]

r/nicegirls r/notlikeothergirls

[@xPrecisionx]

Todd is delightfully cynical

[@davidnissim589]

The main reason why this song rubs me the wrong way is because I’ve personally known guys who were in relationships like this, where the girl was super demanding and basically made the guy have to “earn” her love. This isn’t “feminism” or whatever Meghan’s trying to pass it off as, this is just misandry.

[@demilembias2527]

The fact that we're even looking for "feminist icons" among flash in the pan pop divas in the first place is pretty sad.

[@aronpuma5962]

I honestly think this is Todd's best review. It's the one I most like watching, I think it has the best jokes, the best pacing, he should be proud :)

[@verdethestarwarrior1088]

The best part of these reviews is still Todd playing whatever song he's reviewing on piano, especially when he gets really into it. It's clear he loves his music

[@willowwisp2981]

I have watched this video so many times. There's just so much about Todd's jokes and rants in this one that really gets to me. Thanks, Todd.

[@someidiotmetalhead]

"Dear Future Husband" is basically a Sitcom Housewife song

[@JomasterTheSecond]

Dear Spongebob would be a much better song than this.

[@pathetic2399]

“Abusive Girlfriend/Wife” the theme song.