told him I was pregnant for revenge (w/ Becky Habersberger) | Perfect Person Ep. 70

Becky Habersberger joins the show to take calls about a messy cat roommate and an icon who exacts revenge on an unsuspecting ex flame who wronged her.
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PERFECT PERSON
A flawless call-in advice show in which Miles Bonsignore answers your calls, solves your problems, and helps you achieve perfection.
MILES BONSIGNORE
Miles is an internet creator, comedian, and podcast producer, known for his work at The Try Guys, on The TryPod, as a commentator on Pretty Much It, and for being real cool
EDITOR
Rob Laltrello
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Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at www.headgum.com.
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[@PerfectPerson]

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[@EvWuzhere]

I go *NUTS* FOR nuts

[@averagejaime]

The entire Scarlett/Paulina/Katrina call was incredible and iconic, but when she said in reference to the clown makeup "I'm not even going to a party, I'm going to Chili's"?? I HOWLED.

[@miss_ayla]

I'm really scared that this episode is the peak of Perfect Person, because I don't know if anyone can ever match the untethered goblin energy of Scarlett

[@jessikapallares3483]

omg Scarlett is a force to be reckoned with

[@scarlettm3889]

loved reading this comment before watching the ep 😂

[@pasc8699]

Hopefully that call inspires more people like scarlet to call in with their problems!

[@m..na.]

I'm not going to a party I'm just going to chillis - this KILLED MEEEE 😂😂😂

[@haglerfan86]

The image of a clown sitting in a booth with a sizzlin' fajita platter in front of her, counting a short stack of bills, is cracking me the fuck up

[@moonriverinc7896]

counting a stack of six twenties and a five lmfao

[@JadynZip]

without a doubt the “told him i was pregnant for revenge” story was my favourite call ever on this podcast💀

[@rhondabear5639]

The fact that Scarlette ordered the Ice Spice Munchkin beverage took me out 😂

[@sammurphyfleet]

This made me spit out my coffee laughing

[@groovygroovyy]

scarlet TRULY played chess with that story it kept getting better and better 😭

[@dnkewlfe9043]

hey Miles! I just wanted to express some gratitude for you reposting Jewish Voice for Peace's post about ending the siege and genocide of people in Gaza. this past month has crushed me and I deeply appreciate that did express some solidarity with us.

[@moomintroll777]

i didn’t see that he did that omg! free palestine 🇵🇸✊

[@miabolte306]

I didn’t see that but thank god cause I can’t loose this podcast and I obviously want everyone to be anti genocide

[@dnkewlfe9043]

@@miabolte306 I literally felt so much relief seeing that because this podcast legitimately is a source of comfort for me during my work week lol. It's awful that it takes bravery just to publicly imply that you see brown people as people.

[@dnkewlfe9043]

@@moomintroll777 river to sea!

[@chrissampson3478]

Gained a subscriber because of this

[@shadowcat5517]

Scarlett Johansson's story is one of the funniest stories I ever heard and she is the most unhinged person ever. Love you girlie pop, you live your life!!

[@Cashhhhew]

She did what I’ve never had the balls to do lol she’s a wild childddd

[@CaityCat6]

scarlett has gotta be in the perfect person hall of fame

[@spaghettihater933]

The fact that Miles has the skill to lengthen this get real music but chooses to just keep adding manually looping it will never not be funny to me

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

i almost think he would’ve if it hadn’t been for everyone in the audience loving him having to reply it lmaoo

[@ev3433]

Cat caller: Someone needs to take kitty to the vet. Possible worms, gland issues, or IBS/food sensitivities. Kitty should also get a 'sanitary trim' while there especially if they're long haired to prevent any fur... stickage.

[@shayq5463]

Exactly my thought about worms. I'm so sad for that cat :(

[@morgans3936]

Top tier episode, I can only hope all the audio-only listeners came here to see the facial reactions because those were to DIE FOR

[@capri91]

This definitely isn't a Podcast you listen (only) to.. You HAVE to watch it because their facial expressions make it that much funnier. 😂

[@melissavaldiviezo5395]

I was not prepared for how often I would be listening to this podcast - I’m hooked. Been listening everyday for the past 3 weeks!

[@PerfectPerson]

Thanks for listening, glad you’ve been enjoying it!

[@ariamattias468]

Tell him you have twins - BECKY 💀

[@sisterspacek]

I'm gonna need some "im pregnant, meet me at Dunkin with $125" and "Too pretty to fight" merch

[@sierramathews745]

Miles, as an adult emo, I can say that skinny-jean culture is alive and well.

[@T.Florenz]

skinny jeans started as an alt look, now they're alt again. pop fashion can pry my skinny jeans out of my cold, dead hands 🧡

[@saintnikz]

Becky might be my favorite PP guest. The vibes are immaculate

[@aliyah6943]

I havent laughed out loud that much in years damn Scarlett is so funny !

[@williamhinrichs6558]

Scarlette's entire phonecall was GOLD

[@moriahoreilly]

you know, I bet Paulina was in another girl when he answered the phone and she was at dunkin donuts and that's why he didn't want to meet up with her.

[@amaris6588]

Miles and Becky, speaking as a mom of a 3 and 5 year old, i totally agree that its so unhelpful when people say "just you wait until" blah blah blah. In my opinion, every stage of their life has been great but also hard. It all has its own challenges and hurdles, but also its own wonderful moments and amazing discoveries.

[@emilieg4336]

To Caller number 1. Your roommate's cat probably has worms or is allergic to something in its food. I would suggest to her that she get it wormed and see if that helps. If not a food change may help. If she feeds a Carb rich cat food she might switch to one without wheat or corn

[@sls423]

I think that’s possible, but it’s also definitely being neglected. The cats litter box should be cleaned once per day at minimum, it sounds like it’s cleanliness issues are related to not being properly taken care of. :(

[@ev3433]

I seriously doubt kitty is getting a protein rich diet just based on the current care given. Could be gland issues as well.

[@amyeddelman]

This is low key gross, but the cat could also just need its’ anal glands expressed! Both dogs and cats do the little butt scoot when this is a problem

[@noah-ld7up]

that clown/picking up the phone during sex/revenge pregnancy lie call was LEGENDARY

[@cassidybrewer]

Scarlett needs to be a recurring guest. Bring her on the show, I beg you. She can wear her clown makeup 😂

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

the title sounds like the plot of season one of glee

[@patiencekillz]

YES

[@rhondabear5639]

100% omg

[@borromorro]

The advice miles gives always starts with "oh hey...." and it gets me everytime

[@coratuttobene4806]

I’m screaming at the story about the ex answering the phone 😂😂😂 Mile’s reaction is hilarious

[@ReeniBoBeeni]

Scarlett should become her own podcast-specific meme within the PP universe. We should describe scorched earth as Going Scarlett on someone’s ass.

[@LuciMikTechTalk]

Scarlet is a legend!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 best caller ever!

[@herb_rolls]

The first call was depressing. Why are people so chill about neglecting their cats? I'm glad the caller at least is trying to figure out a solution but that cat needs a new owner.

[@mchammerandnail]

I love Scarlet. She made me sad I didn’t tell a man who emotionally damaged me the most for 125 saying I’m pregnant… that’s amazing.

[@itsme_taylorlee]

That fart sparkle combo was excellent

[@sunnyeevee]

Scarlet is an absolute queen 😭

[@breejeanne]

I LOVE Becky and Miles energy!! This was such a funny episode!

[@margaritakmp]

Becky and Sarah are absolutely my fave guest hosts, followed closely by the Ciao Crew or whatever you call yourselves. And I guess I would have to say Jay rounds out the Mount Rushmore of Deputy Perfect Persons

[@rhondabear5639]

Totally agree! I love Jay, Miles always has extra perfect energy when the guest is an old friend of his!

[@JadynZip]

scarlett might be the best story teller ever

[@sallyfletcher4650]

CAN SCARLETT BE A REGULAR?!! GOING TO CHILIS?! I’ve never laughed this hard listening to a podcast in my life lololol 😂😂😂😂

[@tayloroo]

Becky with the good VIBES

[@courtneyjones9322]

I have a 2 year old and it is awesome. She is silly and funny and always excited by the world around her. She was a cute blob but every new development is the best.

[@liztalksmakeup8992]

I literally said to my husband 2 days ago (after he FINALLY started listening to PP!!!) that I wanted an episode with Becky 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@miss_ayla]

Becky is S Tier guest

[@xxSpoonverine]

I don't want kids myself but I love hearing you guys talk about how excited you are for your kids to grow into little people you can talk to and hang out with, it's so sweet! It makes me excited for you

[@misstatty3455]

Absolutely cried laughing on the train bome from work to this one. And also fully agree about your babies growing up. I absolutely love watching my toddlers become them selves. 🎉

[@DanikaBevirt]

Hey Miles! As the mom of a 17 month old (almost 1.5 year old). I would say that after they start walking, ours did at 14 months then they really start coming into their own. Ours is running and exploring, laughing with glee and super inquisitive and saying new words all the time. It’s a really fun age and I want you guys to look forward to the fact that having a little person full of personality is sooner than you think and it’s lovely. :)

[@jennyw5904]

I recommend a litter robot for the first cat. It’s super expensive, but it’s life changing. Either that or have the roommate pay more in rent since you’re cleaning up after the cat? Idk.

[@ERYN__]

Oh cats. I recently stole my cat from my mom's house because she left her alone, without care for a week. She was my "Birthday/Christmas" present in the middle of my senior year. (Pets are NOT presents!) Mom used my cat to manipulate me, until I moved out and left her behind. She had biting and bathroom behavior issues at my mom's house, which have magically vanished after bringing her here. She doesn't like my other cats, and wants to be an only cat. The other cats are chill, they've lived with a third cat a couple of times before. - Cat Burglar

[@ishitaswaroop8779]

Stealing the cat so they can be safe with you? Slay

[@telocela]

had a rough day at work but I was cackling this whole episode on my commute back home 😂 thank you for always making my days better when these episodes come out!

[@sydneylyles1007]

Came from Spotify (I'm a mere audio listener) to say that I'm gonna now need all the other you can sit with hosts on as guests now too! This episode was so fun! (Rachel from try guys/you can sit with us would be a really fun guest in my opinion) Anyway guest or no guest the show is amazing i just think they'd be cool people to have on! 💛

[@h311dr1p]

the clown make up reveal really killed me and then the “i’m obviously at dunkin’ donuts” lmfao i love becky on the show so much!!!!!

[@courtney104]

this is a perfect episode, 10/10, absolutely no notes, supreme ride from start to finish

[@ElizabethChronis]

Regarding the rant at the end … it’s so true! I have 3 under 5 & the number I crazy looks I got about being impatient for 3 to crawl/walk was crazy! Is it more effort? Sure. But it’s also way more fun & they are happier when they can be more independent!

[@SanzariMichaela]

I'm obsessed with this episode. Best one by far

[@Susiebakesfun]

To the person with the CAT leaving skid marks on the Fridge I URGE YOU to take the kitty to the vet. ITS NOT NORMAL for cats to do that and also to not be clean. A cat that is pooping outside the litter box and not self grooming is a song of stress or disease. Please help this poor kitty!!!

[@KBerry-ug5zx]

The way I **knew** that crazy chick was gonna say she got the Ice Spice drink....

[@ananyashree.s5631]

I have been waiting for becky to make a reappearance on perfect person. What a underrated combo.😊

[@godspeedie]

This is so far my FAVORITE episode. I even FULLY listened on spotify AND again on youtube. Good job miles!!

[@kelseysbookrecs]

I laughed so hard during Scarlett’s call that I choked on the cookie I was eating and threw up

[@patiencekillz]

this is either going to be like one of those aita posts where the title makes the person sound a lot worse than they really are. or it’s actually as bad as it sounds.

[@PerfectPerson]

It is a WILD ride

[@JoshMarshain]

Nope, actually crazy this time lmao

[@fluffymountainbunny]

What a fabulous episode! I laughed the entire time. For some strange reason your podcasts make a perfect bedtime companion as i’m working on puzzles- thank you!

[@stephaniecardona9175]

Turn to your friend and go “you’re a f***ing mess honey.” Dead 💀

[@littleredhead75]

Scarlett's story is the best thing I have heard in YEARS, and I work in mental health so I hear rollercoaster stories regularly 😂😂

[@GelatinSkeleton]

i want scarlett to be my best friend and fight every battle for me. iconic. bring her on as a permanent host tbh

[@alissalynne585]

I have already listened to Scarletts call twice today, and I will be listening to it again tomorrow I know it.

[@adinace]

Scarlett was straight WILDIN 😭

[@bronteevans2875]

Scarlett, if you want a clowncore non-mono bestie from across the pond (England) then PLEASE hit me up because I am utterly OBSESSED with you, you absolute feral babe 😭😂

[@samanthaelsey8003]

Amazing episode! Love you Becky! Miles you are so funny!

[@butterflysupmynoses]

THANK YOU. I cant believe people say it gets HARDER!!! I love my one year old MORE than I did when he was 6 months! its so cool to watch them grow babies comes and go so quick but them learning never ends and thats the best part! Im sure teenage will be rough but omg I love my lil runner boy!

[@Prettybaby7]

I wanna be friends with caller number 2 🤣

[@ericaavery9382]

Random, but as someone with POTS, Liquid IV is the reason I can function so I def recommend it 😂

[@aridavid1039]

33:22 for the most thrilling voicemail ever left on perfect person

[@titanweenie]

This was probably my fav episode to date 😂

[@cuttlefiish]

this is the best show of all time. perfection

[@InquisitorLavellan]

Miles, if you ever get the chance, please collaborate with Sad Boyz. It'd be so amazing.

[@goldenglove99]

I SECOND THIS

[@TheFabMissO]

LOVED this episode! Please have Becky back as a guest!

[@Babybop93]

I saw snippet of Scarlett’s call on a short and I had to come watch the whole thing and it did not disappoint. I am crying tears of laughter after the Chili’s comment. She took me out and I need to be her bff.

[@MrDorkaman]

MILES?! The video game question?!!!!! 😂

[@EvWuzhere]

I love how they nicknamed her scarlet johansen and all the while only she knows that she is presently dawned in full clown makeup

[@TheEminemfan10]

By far the best caller and response every. I hate that scarlet had to go thru that BS but damn girl. Much LoVE and respect .

[@KeenanPayne]

Incredible episode 👏🏻

[@amalia1973]

i was just thinking about how great another episode with Becky would be!!! now that we know they're mom friends invite Sarah too and we can have a blast

[@FaithJess1]

MILES. I always look forward to listening to your podcast!! Just wish I had a juicer life so I could chat with you 😂🫶

[@madisno]

every time miles talks about his white jeans i think about the fact that he spilled butter chicken on them

[@PerfectPerson]

Okay that was one time

[@madisno]

@@PerfectPerson and yet it never gets old

[@justineanderson3084]

This might be the funniest episode yet 😂😂

[@m..na.]

3rd caller has got to be my favourite ever 😂

[@denisseharder8982]

This was my first episode but damn, after all those unhingedness, im excited to binge every single one😂 i have soooo much errands to do this weekend and now i have the perfect companion to make doing all those things super fun! 😂

[@justmariquita]

This is the best episode to date lmaooo

[@rainingstars4]

scarlett you are a chaotic legend

[@mihaela9239]

Can't believe Becky has two cats and didn't think to say that the cat leaving skid marks shouldn't be normal! Cats are very hygienic and always clean themselves. The cat either has mobility issues in the sense that she's fat and can't reach her parts, or maybe has longer fur, but most likely - the poor cat is having digestive issues and needs to see the vet! Note: I am not a vet, I am just speaking from years of experience being a cat owner. Doesn't mean that the issue is serious, but yeah, the cat is not dirty by choice...hope you get it sorted out and good luck!

[@hailiebaker6923]

I have also always been confused on what constitutes “after Labor Day” 😂

[@ten-hx2xi]

i wanna be a parent only so i can give ominous and obviously made up advice, “you think the terrible twos are bad? wait till they learn to chant and summon”

[@toitsuii]

miles using my name as a recurring example is a jumpscare everytime. love the podcast!

[@toitsuii]

cannot stop replaying 36:33 btw. omfg what a moment

[@jasjas4356]

36:36 kills meee

[@simplyzoemae]

Miles saying he's not into breaking rules while he's getting kicked out of literally every major retailer on the plog 😂😂

[@kaileemorgan]

Every time Miles says “I’m perfect and your a person” I think he’s gonna say “and let’s listen to your problems” I petition for a new saying Miles, to me it sounds so catchy 😂

[@cleleoleo]

CATRINA being her name as a disaster killed me

[@FroAlchemist]

59:49 The harsh drop off… [music drops off] 😂😂😂

[@heatherkalman9668]

So excited to see the fan art of Scarlet!

[@gabygabb]

yay becky!!!! love you both

[@juicetuber]

scarlett if u ever need anyone else to go to chili's in clown makeup with my books are open

[@madisonbrookens6285]

Scarlett needs a seat on the couch