Told My Sister's Fiance About Her Testing His Loyalty And May Have Ruined Everything r/Relationships

[@dandotvid]

Today I learned that "unfortunate decisions" include identity theft, assault with a deadly weapon and grand theft auto.

[@katsumitamiko1062]

That caught me off guard lol, I was half listening and that part came up and I immediately snapped back and started it over to get the context lmao, that's wild!

[@D-M-K-1-2]

Story 1: "She said i betrayed her and ruined her relationship". If the truth is enough to ruin a relationship, that's on you, not the messenger.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. If there's ever a time to say Don't shoot the messenger, this would be it.

[@megaspit]

Anyone doing "tests" has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old mean girl in a sitcom

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

Agreed. Although it can be done by both girls & boys.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@jaymevosburgh3660 So true! Insecurity is not a good look.

[@SergioBicerra]

What about teachers?

[@TheEDFLegacy]

​@@SergioBicerra ... I'll allow it. But only if it's academics. 😅

[@paulman34340]

Add-on the fact that she got upset still because "he didn't do it hard enough" and I have to question her criteria of "what IS enough" And i'm sure she doesn't have an answer for that Because we know and she knows it's because she's hugely Immature, insecure, and This is just prove that she's not ready for a serious relationship. And she Should be thankful that he found out now instead of later down the line

[@Nanashinoshi]

My partner tested me. I broke up with her immediately after.

[@Extem1]

Well done

[@falxblade1352]

She failed

[@matthewsmith1779]

Did you fail?

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

You did the right thing.

[@Zanzetihunter]

@matthewsmith1779 Why do you assume the other failed? She failed. If you're so self conscious in your relationship, if you have so little TRUST, you're resorting to "tests" then break up. They don't deserve your paranoia and you don't deserve someone you don't trust.

[@FlamesofJagger]

At least this Mark wasn't causing the trouble. We all know how Mark gets nervous when someone in the story is named Mark

[@LunaP1]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@viddergrapho8488]

I love his "oh no" every time😂😂😂

[@Jacob-he3sn]

😂 Yeah. I’d be nervous too. No one wants to share a name with a jerk. Maybe that’s why a number of Reddit story channel use more made up names, to avoid sharing their name with a jerk.

[@ellorasg4525]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@venusbleu5764]

Ah yes the old fucking around and finding out.

[@MarkNarrations]

lol

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

If I were Sarah, I'd be horrified my friend asked me to do that.

[@venusbleu5764]

@@lordfreerealestate8302 Seriously how did she not question this lol

[@CyborgCharlotte]

“Well, well. If it isn’t the consequences of my actions”

[@venusbleu5764]

@@CyborgCharlotte Lol exactly

[@Maestrosendgame]

If you have to do a loyalty test on your partner, you shouldn’t be in a relationship

[@thedepressedfatguy4070]

It annoys me that I see so many people on those videos supporting testing your partner. If you have to test your partner, then you aren't mature enough to be in a relationship

[@Ashbrash1998]

It doesn't even prove anything either, just because someone doesn't take the bait now, doesn't mean they won't later.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. That just screams insecurities. Something that needs to addressed ASAP.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Seriously people cheat when they get slightly less attention or they want to break up but dont want the hassle of being an adult and just doing it. If dude is going to cheat she gotta ignore/cold shoulder him for awhile then get a girl to harass him​. Even that wouldnt prove shit tho. @@Ashbrash1998

[@RomeGod177]

Most people who do this "test" are the ones who aren't loyal.

[@hannahdavis5725]

Story 2: "He may be your father be he ain't your Daddy" and let me just say I think OP is an awesome dad.

[@deanmonthei5631]

Sage words from Yondu

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 2: OP has made sure that one human being had a much better, and mentally healthier life. One less damaged person in the world. OP is a King. What a gift he has given to the world!

[@Vipre-]

I tend to find myself with these stories pointing out to people how sometimes there are much more important considerations than child support and how sometimes the best move is not to even try and ask for it. This guy's story is a prime example. Sometimes for the sake of the child the best move is staying far away from the legal entanglement that money may involve.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I hate tests like this. And, there is no need to be forceful. He turned the other woman down and said he was engaged. This isn't a TV show or trashy book. That stuff is fun to consume, but doesn't happen in real life. She's not mature enough for marriage.

[@joeschmo622]

_"So that was a _*_test?_*_ Well, _*_I_*_ passed, but _*_you_*_ failed. Kbye."_

[@immortalsofar5314]

If you're ashamed of something you do then don't do it. That's not a difficult concept and blaming the sister for not hiding it hoists all kinds of red flags.

[@argentin2306]

The 2nd Op is a saint, I'm glad that everything ended well

[@agentzapdos4960]

I'm side-eyeing him for being a financially stable white guy with an Asian wife. There are a lot of stereotypes about rich white guys getting mail-order brides. It's called "passport bro" but in reality it's just trafficking.

[@Sherwoody]

Regarding “Loyalty”, in the words of Inigo Montoya, _”You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means”._

[@amyspeers8012]

Second story-the story with the bracelet was lovely. She will cherish that bracelet. My mom has been giving me and my sister pieces of jewelry she no longer wears that has memories for us. Most recently, she gave me a bracelet that my father had given her. I took Dad to the store where he bought the bracelet and it was one of the last things he bought her before he died. Such a lovely memory.

[@b.c.9358]

Oh, that grandfather in the last story really warmed my heart. He made a mistake, thought about it with the advice of his family, and changed his mind to make sure a little girl would feel loved.

[@thefallennero5265]

If Lily was insecure about being in a relationship then she shouldn't be in a relationship at all until she gets help for her insecurity. She had no right to be upset with anyone other than herself for almost destroying her relationship with Mark with that idiotic loyalty test

[@Mia-dt3gl]

I think she cheated. The fact that she got _mad_ when her fiancé passed the test is a red flag. She only backpedaled because she realized she was going to get exposed if she carried on.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

More likely just insecure+infatuation = crazy.

[@eldeano9964]

I love when people backpedal after the other person shows them that they won't take their crap and can just walk away. Nice way to expose how weak you are in your convictions.

[@johnjr7070]

Probably the dumb sis has much freetime spent on tiktok

[@Blazeboyce]

Anyone that feels the need to "test" their spouse's loyalty doesn't deserve to be in a relationship period. If your spouse was going to cheat on you there's nothing and I mean nothing that's going to stop them from doing it in the first place. If you don't trust your spouse and actively trying to test them or are extremely insecure just stay single. That shit just sounds exhausting

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

if i wanted tests i would go back to school.

[@WhiteWolf-lm7gj]

Yeah, I can emphasize with being insecure, but if you can't be in a relationship without testing and spying on your partner, you shouldn't be in a relationship. That's not healthy for anyone

[@Boundwithflame23]

10:05 Story 2 That escalated quickly. Dang Edit to add: OP’s a good dad (Apparently I’m a poet)

[@GiordanDiodato]

You're a poet, do you know it?

[@LunaP1]

Ex wife was definitely mentally unstable. No wonder even the AP didn’t want to deal with her after she got pregnant with his kid. Hopefully the whole incident scared him from cheating again because he might not be lucky next time.

[@ElleD308]

​@@LunaP1😂 He didn't want anything to do with them because his wife would find out, not because she was crazy

[@McAnik-uo1ol]

2nd Story: Firstly, it is Grandpa's money and his will reflecting his feelings. OP can't require that his father feels this way or that. The quiet talk explaining about the ramifications of excluding this young girl was the right move. It was handled sanely, rationally, like men with an understanding reached. Most conflicts or disagreements on this channel (or many others like it) do not end so well. Bravo. I have a friend whose father ( for reasons best known to himself because I know the family and my friend was a good son to him) left everything to his daughter, excluding his son (my friend) completely. The consequence has been a life long rift between him and his only sibling. hey only have each other but this act with the inheritance has split them apart and they no longer acknowledge each other. As a parent my dream is that when I am gone my children have each other to rely on. That they would have resentment and a falling out in the aftermath of my passing is horrible to contemplate. I would rather leave all of them nothing than have them squabble over mere possessions.

[@ohsocosy]

The onions have found me after S2's Grandad leaving thr bracelet to her. 😢

[@D-M-K-1-2]

Story 2: "You have real kids". Honestly if I didn't hear the heartwarming update i would have absolutely let loose in this commment section

[@agentzapdos4960]

OP's dad's initial reaction is simply the result of being a man. The whole reason we even have modern society and civilization is because one day men decided they needed to dominate and control women for the sole purpose of being confident that she's having HIS kids, since if a man can't create a legacy that is passed down through the generations, he doesn't see any point in working any harder that what's needed to barely survive. OP being a bit less selfish is meaningless, since nearly all men are aligned with OP's dad's original beliefs. Men literally evolved to be territorial brutes.

[@saldiven2009]

People like Lily in Story 1 just need to stay single until they get their emotional hang-ups worked out. Nobody else deserves to be made miserable while she gets her crap together. If you don't trust someone, don't stay with them. It's as simple as that.

[@habituallearner7680]

OP#2 is a heck of a guy. Thank goodness his eldest daughter has him and opie's new wife because her bio parents are something out of a toilet.

[@Mx-rr3qm]

The OP's parents have the right to give their inheritance to whoever they want. It's unfortunate but that's the unfairness of life... As long as she is loved and treated fairly that all anyone can hope for. Inherent is just the cherry on top. OP can make the adjustments I'm his own will.

[@agentzapdos4960]

Unfortunately this is the result of a biological imperative that exists in most men. Humans were once a matriarchal species, but because men are men, they built civilization for the express purpose of subjugating women so they can know who fathered which child. And that's where inheritance came from. OP's dad is just upholding the male biological imperative.

[@MisterPuck]

ngl the small drama around inheritance for the adopted daughter is great and all but the opening bit about the cheating wife sounds _wild!_ Identity theft? GTA? Damn I wish we’d gotten that story!

[@b.c.9358]

Every day a Mark in a story doesn't end up being a jerk is a good day

[@LunaP1]

Anybody who “tests” their partner’s loyalty not only doesn’t trust them, but wants to control them or is paranoid/projecting cheating. She wanted Mark to fail or give him a reason to look bad so she can hold it over his head. She is not ready to be in a committed relationship with anyone since she’s willing to screw up her own relationships and needs to sort herself out.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

If Lily didn’t, Trust mark, they probably should not get married until she other sock counseling for her insecurities, or have a serious adult conversation with her fiancé. Funny thing is the people who tend to do. The Relationship test are normally the ones that cheat. Not the ones that are being tested.

[@MarkNarrations]

When I see the name Mark in the comments section, instant panic 👀

[@JoshuaEdward12]

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.

[@kirtycosplay]

So sorry you are going through pain! Best of luck starting a new stage in life.

[@NotGruulButWhy]

I find the grandfather’s statement of her “always being family” to be incredibly hollow. He’s walking it back because his son is upset with him and likely fears losing access to his “real” grandkids so he’s making a concession. I don’t think he or any of his family have changed their opinion and doubt they ever will.

[@randyl8979]

S1 TLDR Boyfriend passes the loyalty test but GF fails the wife test.

[@Kirby-zp6cg]

Insecurity is a scary thing. This really goes to show how much it can affect the people around you as well if you don't treat it first.

[@yamairad1]

Yes, it ruins people's lives and make them vulnerable to abusers. Lily, could easily be abused by a guy that does everything but cheat. I see it now "If you don't do as I say I'll cheat on you."

[@TheBones1188]

​@yamairad1 they can also easily be the abuser.

[@tagh4055]

The problem with relationship tests is that one is never enough. If he "passes" the first test, her insecurities will start nibbling away at her -- maybe the first test girl wasn't pretty enough, or young enough, or aggressive enough; maybe he would have cheated on me if he had had another drink, or if I was out of town and he knew he wouldn't get caught, maybe maybe maybe . . .. The tests never end until the insecurities that prompted them are dealt with.

[@ZPokemonfanA]

If you have so little trust in someone that you have to make "loyalty tests", you deserve to be alone

[@jppurves7837]

Lily is acting like 14 instead of 24. OP didn't ruin her relationship, Lily did. As others have commented, she needs to work on her insecurity before she gets in a serious relationship.

[@poohbear4515]

S1: Actually heard this this morning. From the update, it still sounded like Lily was continuing to blame OP than seeing how awful SHE and her equally horrible friend screwed up. Dad is also in the wrong here. What if the poor dude never found out until years later? That would be much worse. Playing those types of “tests” always destroy relationships.

[@vespernight4236]

Yeah, not only did Lily get angry bc Mark didnt meet her standards in a test he wasnt aware he was taking, but whats stopping her from doing another test to 'confirm' things? Her insecurity led her to pick out a non issue to get mad at Mark for, and insecurity like that doesn't just go away once you tie the knot. It gets worse. Shes going to find different reasons and excuses to 'test' his loyalty, and pick apart reasons to be made even if he passes, which will bleed into the relationship, even though Mark ends up staying in the dark as to why his wife is upset at him.

[@nwilady1867]

They don't consider their granddaughter the real granddaughter. So what happens if somebody in the family adopts? Does that child just get the outs

[@D123-f9k]

Story 2: Feelings around family, including chosen family, are complicated, especially when it’s other bringing them into the fold. Prior to the update, my intuition was that the grandparents loved her like family, but she wasn’t quite a “grandchild” on an emotional level and it made me think of my family. For example, to a lot of people, a stepparent is a replacement/additional parent. But while I love my stepmother as family, she is not like that to me. If my parents were lemonade, my stepmother would not be watered down lemonade or lemonade with Splenda, she would be a different drink of her own altogether. Meanwhile, my aunt married a man with kids and his sons were cousins to us but he was never “Uncle” the way my parents siblings or other spouses were “Aunt” and “Uncle”. I have a “cousin” who is the stepdaughter of the son of my grandmother’s half-sibling’s stepdaughter that is more warmly considered by my siblings and I than the children of my father’s older brother. I’m glad OP was able to talk things out and that at a minimum the grandparents recognized they need to treat her the same as the other grandchildren and not just a beloved distant relative or “grandchild lite”.

[@ineedhoez]

Nope. They had her since she was a baby. There should be no difference

[@Russman67]

Has there ever seen a loyalty test that has worked out well for the person who gave the test? Either you're going to catch a cheater, which sucks, or you're going to show that you like head games and give your relationship an expiration date. Lily just showed that she likes head games. Of course Mark needs space now.

[@Mirtis66]

Inheritance stories always baffle me. For me things should always go like the 2nd story with compassion and love but so many of them devolve into what's legal and how nobody deserves anything from someone else. Hell even the stories where people are left out of wills for being gay or a different race there's usually a majority of comments saying it's their money they can do what they want.

[@Staineless84]

I cried on story 2. Such an amazing father, and for the grandfather to recognise too, and the story about the bracelet. I'm very happy for that girl and her family.

[@RyomouShimei]

The title of Story 2 threw me off a little because of the 'real' children, but I'm glad OP is a loving father. BUT OH BOY THE EX-WIFE ESCALATED QUICKLY

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Story 2 reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy 2, OP didn't really have to raise the little girl when his ex tried to pass the kiddo of as OP's bio kid. He's really has a good heart. At least the kiddo's got a dad in the end :)

[@fleimkepa_4204]

Story 2 ~ Your daughter is one lucky girl and you are one incredible dad. I was always the “adopted kid” in my family. It’s so nice to hear heartwarming stories like this. ❤

[@leaflet1686]

Story 1: I say it is a happy ending and communication is saving the day. As Charlie said: "It starts with sorry!"

[@carlrood4457]

A loyalty test means you don't have the trust and respect required for a relationship

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - NTA, but I would sit my father down and explain the kind of hurt his decision has caused, and will cause after his death, and that I would have to be the one to clean it up. And that I didn't appreciate that lack of consideration. I still can;t understand how this guy adopted and raised her though. i couldn't do it.

[@lavarelease2928]

I agree, I could never. Also, the comments comparing adopting a random child to your ex wife's affair baby are insane

[@juanvilas5341]

People who do loyalty tests do not have the maturity to even have a relationship, not just marriage, no one, man or woman, would tolerate this. It's basically "Look, I didn't trust you, but now I trust you a little more!" what is even the point of mantaining a relationship?

[@zebnemma]

Yeah I thought "why would I even want to be with someone who I don't trust?". That's why I feel it's not actually about trust, it's probably about control. She wants to control him. Why would anyone in their right mind want to marry someone they don't trust? I call bullshit on that. But I also think she cheated and is now paranoid about him doing the same... Instead of just telling him what she did she feels she has to control him and spy on him with her friends... Yeah all kinds of red flags coming from that girl. Guy is smart if he breaks the engagement now before it's too late.

[@Schwiegermutter]

St2. That girl is the child of op but not the grandchild of his father and that's OK.

[@songsayswhat]

I always wonder about relatives like this. Would they treat an adopted child as an "unfortunate guest" or would they treat all the grandkids the same when it comes to the will?

[@Heydodoakskdkdjf]

She never overstepped. She did the right thing.

[@margaritap.9459]

Getting cheated on is awful. And it is still better than a lifetime of tests and dread and doing everything to "prevent" it.

[@blackfire6009]

Story 1: to me, more than the test itself, which is really stupid, it's the "not good enough" part that stands out and gives me pause. Already it's "not good enough" even when everything goes well for her, makes you think she might be the kind of person to arbitrarily take out frustration on others, and thus, her partner. I would think way more about this than the test if the test isn't a deal breaker. Story 2: it might be interesting to ask op's family if this is how they'd treat an adopted child. If she was "just" an orphan, would they still be "it's not your real daughter"? Or is it only because she's a reminder of infidelity? Because in effect, she *is* an adopted child.

[@chasefrost1401]

People who do "loyalty tests" deserve any bad outcome. She is engineering her own problems.

[@porcospino2128]

2nd story: OP’s family all sound like good people who are honest with their emotions even when they disagree.

[@michellekeith5602]

Hi ! 😊. First story makes me remember why raising your kids to be good adults so that they in turn will raise even better adults is extremely important. OP has a wonderful heart and the fact that his father and the rest of his family were accepting loving and participants in his daughters life is awesome but what really got me was the fact that even when the conversation was difficult and they had opposing opinions they were still able to talk and be decent loving adults that are members of a functioning family . I'm happy for them ❤️🙏

[@watermellie]

The last story was so refreshing!

[@pickle_pup8187]

OP is a wonderful dad! How wonderful that OP and his dad had an honest conversation and it worked out.

[@plantemor]

My boyfriend tests me sometimes. He collects beer and asks me to sniff them and tell him what the taste combination is. I fail everytime, but he loves my answers because my sense of smell is so broken that i never give the answers he expects.

[@rosefriday4287]

That second story was beautiful

[@EmptyMTYT]

I love how you giggle every time someone called Mark pops up

[@ogieoglethorpe3788]

OP shouldnt bother mending fences with her insecure sister. this will not be the last time she pulls a stunt this stupid. mark should have run away from the sister. he is too stupid to grasp he dodged a bullet

[@targaryenxmandi]

Story 1: NTA. Sounds like OP's sister has some growing up to do still. But I do hope things go well in the long run. The fiancé sounds like a decent guy for turning down the friend. And Mark? I apologize that some stories that you read off from and I listen have guys with the same name as yours xD 🤘 Stay strong dude Story 2: NTA. If any haven't read some of the first part, OP's ex wife and her affair partner didn't want the daughter. And OP stepped it up to raise the girl himself and even took her in. He sort of reminds me of my current dad(my records say he's my stepdad but he's been a real father to me since I was three). My mom was divorced summer 1991. She was penpals with who became my dad as he served Desert Storm. Up until last spring he and my mom were married until she passed at 67. He loved her. I know they weren't divorced but we were an already made family and he took me and my brother at the time in as his own. What I am saying is, just because OP's daughter isn't his biologically, he still loved and cared for her for the thirteen years of her life and made sure she was included in family traditions. That OP deserves a best dad award for stepping up. NTA.

[@fantasticmrfox9291]

Woah! OK! Story two is not for listening too while foraging gooseberries, too many surprises. Will have to switch tasks for a bit

[@Jester-fs8xe]

S1 A test proves nothing. Just because someone passes a loyalty test, does not mean that this person doesn't cheat in the future. People and circumstances can change which could lead to cheating. Or does that sis want to do a test every week?!?

[@liabowden8526]

Loved the last story's ending.💚 OP sounds like a wonderful parent.

[@danielwarren7110]

story one: perfect example of f around and find out second story: if OP had adopted a child would his parents have rejected it? The relationship between OP and his daughter is great. And she is his daughter. same as if you have a surrogate or adopted child is your child. It would be a good thing to ask Dad and OP to go to couples therapy together it is not just for married people, allow them both to explain both points of view, it might enable to make OP's dad see it from a different perspective.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I've been in position similar to Mark's with a girl I really liked and as soon as I knew she was testing me, I lost all the feelings I had for her. She put me through stress just to test me and I couldn't see her the same after that.

[@KarmikCykle]

This was a no-win scenario. No possible response from Mark (in the Reddit post, not our Mark) was ever going to satisfy Lily.

[@sam2x13]

In my opinion there is a difference between knowingly adopting a child and raising a child from an Unfaithful spouse.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 2: Blood is thicker than water, but cake batter is thicker than blood and that's made with love. Love is thicker than blood, and she's 100% his daughter!

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

You might be happy to know that the real saying is “blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. Basically meaning your chosen family is more important than your bio family.

[@passivelypetty9580]

If you need to test me, then don't date me.... if we need couples counseling even before we get married, then .....

[@gelasiakidd8076]

Story 1 feels like a "to be continued" with an end of communication wins the day in the future. It may not be what the couple wants, but couples counseling isn't always about fixing the relationship if it's not healthy sometimes it's about untangling yourself from a partner in the most healthy way possible. One way or another this may bring closure, it just not be together

[@rizyu]

Story 2 reminds me if me and my sister. She is from our mom's first marriage but our dad adopted her when he married our mom. His mother left items in her will to me but nothing for my sister. But she didn't care. Sadly we were not overly close to her unlike she is with his father. Sadly if she catches wind that is how they think of her she may pull back from them and put strain on the siblings. So they better hope word does not get wind to them.

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1: She has nothing to be sorry for and she did not overstep at all. What she did was the only correct reaction. Anyone doing "tests" like this is not ready to be in any relationship, let alone a marriage.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

NTA. If OP had "stayed out of it", these people would've been upset with her for that once the shit-testing had blown up in the sister's face. They would've jumped down her throat for knowing and not telling anyone. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[@neru1584]

I remember this one story where OP's sister dated her ex, and the ex ended up being really abusive towards the sister. The family proceeded to blame OP and not.. the actual abuser because she didn't warn them about stuff he never did towards her. Alot of families have one designated person to bully and it sucks :[

[@worldissuesmatter1643]

My partner ‘tested’ me by marrying me and trusting me for these past 35 years. So far, I seem to be doing well. And she as well.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

UGH! I DESPISE when people use the term "real child" when they mean "biological child." Blood doesn't make a family. Love makes a family. OP should be commended for doing the right thing and treating his daughter from another father the same way he treats his bio children

[@alexmarie500]

The OP in the second story is an amazing person.

[@browniewin4121]

1) Testing loyalty is such crap and good for OP for telling his sister this was a bad idea. Even after her fiance rejected the other girl she was not satisfied, I think OP did the right thing to give this guy a head's up about the insecurity and immaturity of his sister. I think it's good this guy is now forewarned and questioning his relationship. OP did not ruin her engagement ... she did. After update: I'm glad sis realized she made a mistake and was in the wrong and is going for therapy. It's good the wedding is on hold and they are getting couples counseling. Also good OP is looking to improve themself. 2) It sucks that X cheated and AP was someone who cheated on his wife and had no interest at all for his child. It is good OP loves his daughter, he raised her and she is his and vice versa. Wow, grandpa is not nice to exclude OP's daughter, legally and emotionally she is OP's and all these years growing up in the family she should be the grandparents too. I think it's sad to treat her as an outsider and 'other'. Just like it upset OP to learn how they really feel, imagine how awful this would be for his daughter to find out, to have grown up with them nice to her face but behind her back not considering her a 'real' grandchild. NTA ... talk to the grandpa. After update: It's good OP decided to talk with his father and grandpa agreed he shouldn't do something hurtful. I'm so glad this went well.

[@Walksfar]

S1: Its really sad to hear the OP saying she's "working on herself" because she holds integrity and honesty in relationships at a paramount. Girl, that's not something you need to work on, its something you need to hold on to. Nobody should tell you differently. Those two are integral to any serious relationship.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Story 2: my dad would be picking his teeth off the ground after that "real kid" thing. Update "everyone loves my daughter" Not what OP's been lead to believe with everyone's reactions when he was talking to family

[@reshawshid]

13:27 "She pointed out that I can make my own will however I want." "Correct, I can also make sure you don't see any of my children again, so choose wisely."

[@jackspring7709]

So - even 'though he "passed" her "test" she's still upset because he didn't do it in a way that was forceful enough. That is a gigantic red flag and her paranoia and insecurity would be the centre of his life with her. She needs therapy to deal with that issue.

[@aalokshah8655]

S2: Im happy the daughter in story 2 has OP. Her blood parents suck.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Mark needs to run away from this lady. Anyone who tests their partner’s loyalty by creating These situations are too immature for anyone to be their partner.

[@CaptBrightside89]

Story 2: I've been the grandkid to be excluded. We were all biologically related. It stung a little at the time and it was noticed by others, but part of life is understanding that you're not entitled to a damn thing from anyone. I'm happy they reached a positive outcome, but people are free to distribute the assets they worked for however they please. That's their right.

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Story 2 (pre-comments/update): if I was OP, I'd ask his father (& family's opinion) if he & either wife had been unable to have children, so they decidalthoughopt, would he also leave the adopted child(renz) out of the will? If he says no, then I'd point out, then it seems he is punishing his grandchild for her mother's actions/choices. If he says yes, then I would let him sit with that, tell the family members with "opinions" on this situation they "hypothetical" (though technically the same, really) & his answer. Let others talk to him & share their perspectives. He may have never realized she really is no different OP (& OP's current wife) "adopting" a daughter & that the girl isn't "tainted" by the "sins" of her mother. Rather, OP's oldest is a reflection of OP's family values, goodness, & love, as OP was raised not to abandon his duties or those who need him, to love (family) without condition, that family is more than blood, & to see people as having inherent value. These are excellent qualities in OP, which I'm betting will be passed on to all of his children. The children will have an excellent moral foundation to begin their lives as socially altruistic, community & family (blood related not necessary) focused, & with a modest financial foundation, would bring "honor to the family". (Glad multiple comments were along the same, that OP was given the adoption perspective, although I'm not sure OP even used it. It sounds like OP's dad is a very emotionally focused man that just couldn't/didn't think about how OP's oldest daughter would feel if he left her out of the will. Communication wins the day once again!)

[@Jenkinsc37]

Story 1: I was really worried that this would end up with OP and her sister basically going NC and that would be it, but the update has me at least cautiously optimistic. Sister admitted that she went too far and the fiance is willing to work things out. Things might never go back to the way things were, but here's hoping that everyone can work through their issues and come out of it as better people. Story 2: What a sweet story. No massive drama(at least right now anyway, screw that crazy ex), just a father stepping up to raise a child that needed him even if she wasn't actually his and two rational adults having a productive conversation to civilly resolve their differences. Now if only this happened more often.

[@messinalyle4030]

Good on 1st OP for her honesty. I hope that her sister truly did have a "come to Jesus" moment and that she really is committed to overcoming her insecurities and growing as a person, because yes, her actions were quite immature. And I hope that it turns out that Mark made the right choice in the end to give sister a second chance. At this point in time, it looks to me like a case of "all's well that ends well," but who knows what could happen in the future?

[@SheenaReine]

my husbands name is mark, and last weekend my kid had a friend over. the kids mom wanted me to text his dad when he got here, also Mark lol. so. many. Marks!

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

Story 2: he can't force his dad to feel like his daughter is his daughter, unfortunately

[@FluffieXStarshine]

Story 2 I hate when people say adopted kids aren't family... it's so dismissive of the loving parent child bond.

[@pasalking7760]

Op in story 2 is man amongst men! What a good update to a good dude.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

S2 you have no right to your father's money or inheritance let alone the affair kid you ve raised.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: It's always sad to discover that your parents, whom you looked up to as "good" people, turn out to be small-minded, judgemental AHs. I'm glad they talked, but I do hope Grandpa isn't just telling OP what he wants to hear.

[@calebhoffman6368]

Mmmmmm idk. I think family relations are more complicated than just saying they are AHs. Just because you accepted a child doesn’t mean anyone else has to. Unless you’ve been in the situation I don’t think you can really judge. There are parents out there that don’t even bond with their own children.

[@CurliFox]

​@@calebhoffman6368THANK YOU.

[@joshgadbery1873]

Story 2. OP your not an AH.. Honestly i doubt id be able or willing to raise a child thats not mine like that, you stepped to the plate and are doing amazing. With that said Your father does not need or required to step to the plate in the same manner. He is leaving her out of his will and thats his right. Its not his blood. He isnt being an AH either, he treats her kindly and lovingly same as the other kids but draws a line at certain places. You made a choice that most people wouldnt make and you cant expect your family to all treat her the same you are. You can mitigate the issue when your father passes by giving her some of the items your dad leaves you, but at the end of the day it sounds like your parents are treating her amazing other then the wills and lets be honest who cares. Most my gradparents left stuff to my uncles and dad, the things us grandkids got were little dumb things we probaly said we liked when we were 6 and have no memory of. You gotta see where your dad is coming from and move past it.

[@Kati_P]

In the 20 years my husband and I were together before his passing NEVER ONCE did either of us test the other! If you have a healthy relationship, and you're both emotionally mature adults, tests aren't necessary.

[@hyperplaguerat]

Flashback to when I thought testing your partner meant asking various questions including hypothetical "what ifs" to see how they'd respond to get an idea of what kind of person they are 😂 it's wild how people will get others to tempt their partners to cheat

[@goatkiller666]

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: anything that can be destroyed by the truth, should be.