Tom Segura Needs A Ride Or Die Chick - YMH Highlight

[@donkeysausages]

I feel like Tom's laugh cures cancer, but it was probably the fact you had cancer that made him laugh in the first place

[@jonahbacon2415]

The paradox that dominates psycho comedy

[@jeyjay023]

😂😂😂

[@JohnSummerford]

Perfect

[@heathdumpert]

Allen Silva he’d wait til you left the room or were out of ear shot.

[@King_of_Apathy]

So true and so fucking funny!

[@templesleeper27]

Sorry for your loss Tom

[@Ben-vt8ne]

Tom Segura is totally gonna Louis CK us, where we thinking he's joking about something for years, and then it turns out he has freezers full of bodies.

[@birdshaw3253]

Ben that’s a wee bit worse than jerking it wothout asking. Other than that I totally agree.

[@ronaldtimmermann2855]

@@birdshaw3253 Louis CK was asking. That's the point!

[@benmartin3180]

“There’s no better feeling than killing the enemy.”

[@Auxown]

i feel like tom and top dog would say that over her dead body (or in a documentary about it if they got caught)

[@Zesrii]

@@Auxown they would never get caught. following proto gets you far

[@RandyV112]

RIP Top Dog

[@travisspannagel4879]

christina paSNITCHsky smh

[@drewk8981]

I laughed so hard I started coughing and almost choked on nothing. Thank you, but fuck you.

[@kobygrimes1234]

Disloyalty is at the lowest of lows

[@travisspannagel4879]

Shuckle Smol fuck you too 🙂

[@raymondrodarte1678]

Nice 😎

[@johnwynn5050]

Veespa - Classic

[@Exgr33n]

"Sorry buddy had to slice her throat, she was gonna talk" 😄😄

[@GregoryCunningham]

It's like, an out of body experience.....ok?

[@poopiepantsmcgee456]

So good

[@garrettsteigleman761]

"Its fun...." Gotta listen close for that part.

[@izskilzix]

Tom really knows how to get onto every single government watch list

[@JD-ns9mr]

Spad TWU

[@markpalmercomedy]

Lol

[@JoeVivonaOfficially]

Most married couples argue about the dishes.

[@linnsation9630]

Not those that are able to pay for someone else to do it 🤣🤣

[@wecheesin4221]

Linn Sation what the hell kinda millionaire shit is this

[@flyinglow7218]

She knows dishes arent my responsibility.

[@jordancave3089]

Yeah…unhappy couples.

[@ColorMyWorld250]

marital privilege in the court of law states that a person cannot be forced by the prosecution to testify against their spouse, sorry christina, but tommy is now the relationship champ

[@evanabbott2737]

Booooyaaaaaaa!!😁👍

[@unbothered78]

But they can volunteer.

[@taylormoore3400]

Wolnt matter anymore cause he's probably gonna kill her first now

[@ImEthanB]

Keyword: “Forced” she’s talking about voluntarily turning him in lmfao

[@thisisntanoption702]

Not in all states

[@roeytsabar]

first not eating tom"s scrum and now this??? have you got no shame Christina?

[@raymondrodarte1678]

For reals though 😎

[@roeytsabar]

@@raymondrodarte1678 and stuff like dat . Sky punch 4 life

[@heytoast7129]

I could've predicted this back when she shot down any discussion of anal. Like I always say, "Never trust a woman that won't do anal." Exhibit A.

[@heytoast7129]

The Inconceivable Nerds - You mean me? I believe it was during the Nikki Glaser episode about a month ago.

[@heytoast7129]

Haha, no worries. Sometimes it does feel like all this shit just runs together, even when sober.

[@dannyboy536]

When Tom goes to court for any reason, there's gonna be a hilarious bunch of youtube clips submitted as evidence against him.

[@nathanfoster1853]

And he’s gonna have to sit through them, explain them, all with a straight face 😂

[@ngonzale3]

“You're already developing the thirst.” You guys are great!

[@NickTBrick]

We need top dog to arbitrate.

[@TheSeeohhdee]

NickTBrick CORREEEEEEEECT

[@thecpalumbo]

Fucking lmao

[@letsgobubblegum]

Good idea buddy!

[@Piddles1]

Please get top dog and your mom to debate this

[@svers_personal]

😂😂

[@Viper3220]

Dude even the court of law understands how absolutely fucked up it is to snitch on your spouse. That's why they specifically created a law that prohibits FORCING you to testify against them.

[@thomasawdffaw123]

@John L How do you know it was senseless? ;)

[@calado92]

But she didnt need to be forced 😂

[@bryanergau6682]

That's not why. It's because once you're married, you and your spouse become one legal entity, and since there's a law that says you don't have to testify against yourself, your spouse doesn't either.

[@ThoughtsReflectEmotion]

this is the end. you can see it in toms face.

[@elcapitan549]

I hope so. Her personality is shit.

[@stormcorrosion176]

Dude his face is for real

[@johnnywhiteshoe]

lol he already is punching above his weight. he better put more thought into leaving her than he did with murder 1

[@ThoughtsReflectEmotion]

can really see it lol

[@ThoughtsReflectEmotion]

you forget.. Hes lost weight.. just shot another special.. hes a new man. And hes lookin at a stranger now!!! He thought she was his ride or die!.. lol

[@bryangomez1887]

All jokes aside, I'd really be lowkey upset if my girl said she'd turn me in lol

[@Lootroq]

Yeah foreal, seems like she sees two sides instead of a team. Fuck that!

[@xenofurmi]

Yeah, all psychoness given, me too.

[@wilsonruleman]

If the killing was justified I wouldn’t turn my spouse in. If she was just being a crazy bitch then bye bye

[@dennis_duran]

Wtf. The idea of blind infinite loyalty is stupid, and it shouldn’t be upsetting that she’d turn you in if you were the unibomber.

[@carloscjr23]

@@wilsonruleman you still dont get it man... think about the children!

[@Vato1979]

She's a psycho, Tom. Dump her.

[@onthemove4441]

she's gonna be the first to kill anyone

[@jasonwinterton9369]

Dump her now tom!

[@drewwil891]

Damn bro that’s harsh lol. That’s the mother of his kids

[@ryansanchez319]

@@drewwil891 but she's not a ride or die tho

[@dylanstevens2410]

I don’t understand why she assumes Tom will kill his family after

[@nickegbg]

Because thats what she would do

[@collinsmcrae]

This is all a bit, genius. At any rate, would you not be concerned if your partner was murdering baristas for getting their order wrong? That’s exactly the kind of person who murders their family.

[@N-e-o1]

Because women are logical. Everyone knows that :/

[@deadarmd]

Projection

[@Sem5626]

heh its not an assumption of will... but it's definitely a possibility it looks like i'm one of the few who side with Christina on this one... she just argued it poorly

[@timothybrown2398]

"Of course I wouldn't turn in the mother of my children and my wife." Good man tom, gotta keep it street.

[@SFGW]

I've never seen a video that so perfectly illustrates the difference between men and women.

[@ozny0588]

Call top dawg I want to hear that conversation. Would you turn Tom in for murder?

[@TheScytherlex]

I think you'd need top dawg and dr drew for a reasonable arbitration.

[@auroraborealis13579]

I think they should call and ask Charro if she would snitch on Top Dog.

[@Genericgamertag147]

I watched this about 6 months ago and asked my partner of 18 months if she was ride or die, with the same scenarios as Papa Tom puts forth, and she said no... Don't worry, I'm romantic as fuck, her heart's still mine. It's in a jar below my kitchen sink.

[@ramonfelix9713]

After hearing this I brought the same hypothetical situation to my wife. Her reply was “ we don’t do cops but your digging the hole” 😍

[@johnmule9256]

Tom is the loyalty champ

[@rodriguezro9999]

RIP to mommy Christine.

[@johnmcenroe1760]

Let top dawg decide on this. It's the only solution.

[@ChugaFool]

Damn you know it’s a good marriage when both people are right lol

[@woodmaj]

#TeamTom Mama T's jeans are very loose and very low.

[@francheskaquinonez7728]

Y'all need to watch the santa clarita diet😂 THAT'S the type of loyalty Tom's looking for 😂😂

[@evanabbott2737]

Yep! That’s what’s UP👍

[@deealexandra6928]

francheska quinonez was literally thinking about this show throughout this whole conversation lol

[@jiryaC]

My favorite conversation they have had lol

[@melissagifford67]

Y'all are so Funny! 😂😂I love my mommies!!

[@jellyTurfsJelly]

If the whole fan base thinks Tom is right all the time, isn’t that kind of saying something? Idk maybe like, Tom is right?

[@katebattista7400]

No. It means that his most dedicated fans have a similar worldview or they're so obsessed with Tom they'll agree with anything he says. It doesn't mean he's right.

[@keylay9453]

@@katebattista7400 WHOOSH!

[@webfreakz]

I agree with Christina here. Now what?

[@jellyTurfsJelly]

webfreakz you’re wrong too.

[@evanabbott2737]

He’s right😁👍

[@sandorclegane6844]

You can’t say “I would rather be alone and have you put behind bars” and then follow immediately with “babe” just facts right there.

[@BlackJackBond]

Tom and Christina, i really appreciate your humour. I like that you two can waste hours talking about the dumbest shit. So much has been lost in comedy with ppl trying to up the ante and come up with something groundbreaking. Its refreshing to see a power couple like you two be able to entertain with old school easy humour.

[@RicardoRodriguez-me5ti]

Tom is right. Shame on you Chrissy P...

[@-Bert-]

The way he keeps bringing up the barista I’m convinced Tom already has a couple hidden in their backyard

[@CapoeiraRecio]

BEST argument ever!

[@brocklevasseur2501]

She don't get it at all!

[@FlankerNumber7]

"I'm sorry buddy, I had to slice her throat, she was gonna talk" 😂😂😂

[@Windchard]

Toms insecurities never fail to make me laugh. He gets so passionate about killing someone that Christina turning him in is the only thing keeping him from lobbing off someone’s head.

[@RBNinja]

I'm 1000% with Tom on this. I literally had this same argument with an EX Girlfriend like 10 years ago

[@woodside4life]

She’s not around anymore, is she…

[@daveknight3940]

This one makes me love you guys, so much. My wife does the snort laugh too, so that helps.

[@jiujitsu1129]

This honestly makes me sick to my stomach. How could a wife of ten years justify turning in their husband. What poor moral values.

[@katebattista7400]

I hope you're being sarcastic.

[@johnnywhiteshoe]

if you're sarcastic: lol if you're being real: you're a fucking psycho

[@gleenfales]

jesus christ don't use the internet anymore if you're serious

[@thyssaliki]

That's some hot ambiguity.

[@hannahv2647]

Wife doesn't mean shit when you're a mom. Kids>husband, she said she was scared for the kids.

[@drmossy9673]

I was genuinely disappointed at this answer from C 😔

[@darianwillis8520]

Tom is so right here

[@JesusLopez-bs2th]

FBI, yes this video right here

[@skatingfae92]

Jesus Lopez 😂

[@flyinglow7218]

Top tier poddin this was YMH in peak dorm 👏

[@Rushil69420]

So you're definitely getting divorced right? I don't see much of a future here anymore.

[@johan7149]

"...I hope that's not Bert..." hahahahaha fell off my chair hahahaha

[@TheMrElzebub]

Damnit, you two are messing up my marriage now. I asked my wife if she would turn me and she said yes with no hesitation. When I asked why she responded, "she's making a lot of sense." Now I need a number two. Tom, it's you and me buddy.

[@Trajan2]

wow she really doesn't get it

[@gleenfales]

Mason M seems like YOU really don't get it. christ

[@18azema]

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[@IntensePeppers]

Well, it's more clear than ever who the personality champ is now

[@kobygrimes1234]

I always knew clearly

[@micjr21]

Am I the only one that thinks there's nothing better than this kind of banter lmao

[@ojaimark]

Anyone else watching this clip imagining what it will sound like when it's played in court during Tom's trial next year?

[@JM-zb8lh]

9:05 LMAO "that doesn't mean I'm gunna go home and kill my kids!" 😂😂😂

[@akeen340]

My lady passed the test... Just sayin

[@elihernandez800]

She didnt pass the looks test tho. If thats her in your profile pic.

[@IntensePeppers]

Oof

[@wprempin]

Wow people are rude, dont listen to this ass ya wife is beautiful if that's her in your profile pic

[@N-e-o1]

@@elihernandez800 douchebag. Why say that. Idiot.

[@poopiepantsmcgee456]

😂yo shhh..

[@Michael5221]

He's talking about a single killing for a specific reason. She's talking about a serial killer. This went right over her head

[@sinclairbowman92]

Totally on Tom with this one. I've run through scenarios on what to do the day my shorter half kills someone.

[@gooserich3970]

I really believe he meant 09:30 in his heart

[@madmike7029]

It's been a long time coming. You're a big movie star now, Tom. Time to upgrade.

[@norat909]

Duuuude!!! My wife and I just had this conversation!!! Hahahahaha love you guys

[@nasrobob5182]

For years, Tom thought that he had a bonnie and clyde type of relationship with Christina but once she confess that she would turn him in over that hypothetical scenario, he was like " God damn, I should've thought about living with this snitch bitch twice before I let her jump on my boat. Lmao

[@Justitia_Nomen]

“Lock him up, he broke the rules buddy!” She’s so funny lmao

[@HendersonHinchfinch]

Haha Hahahahaha yeah wow she’s hilarious!

[@lazytable]

This actually upset me that she was talking to him that way.

[@clickbaitsupreme251]

Husband: I killed someone Wife: you have to do dishes for two weeks

[@uncledubpowermetal]

In Toms defense, there are literally TONS of serial killers and murderers who have successful familial relationships; so much so were the families unharmed, many had no idea of their partners deeds

[@mikesendec3972]

"You're already developing a thirst"- Cristina P, non ride or die.

[@TheEthug]

I'm hurting for you Tom, such betrayal. :(

[@joshllo6920]

Was waiting for Tom to be like what do you mean you’re gonna slight me when Christina said she’s worried she will HAHAHA

[@shaolinshadowboxing1124]

I imagine Christina walking into their basement to find a bunch of tied-up and gagged young women, and Tom is like," Why can't you back me up on this?".

[@SEEYAIAYE]

Piss on them, beat them, try it out Christine.

[@Lootroq]

Lmaaaoooo

[@evanabbott2737]

Hahahahaha

[@andym8557]

I love these bits they do

[@michael99009]

Trust is important in any relationship. I think Christina would eventually come around, though. You just have to ease her into it. Once she's hid that first body, it's gonna be a lot harder for her to turn you in for the next.

[@SiempreAlgoLoco]

michael99009 I thought you were talking about anal until I read your last sentence.

[@katebattista7400]

.....trust is important. That's why I trust my spouse to not murder people over dumb shit.

[@d4n4nable]

And committing murder is a breach of trust, you insane psychopaths.

[@JakeTahoeMusic]

Alright Christina may have got me with that southern lawyering at the end

[@nickegbg]

The fact that she cant tell the difference between the barista and his kids says to me that she is way more likely to turn on the family and kill tom and the kids. Time to get a loyal wife Tom!

[@biggoathorns]

Wow, she really doesn’t get it.

[@stevepettiford5601]

You two are the cutest couple I wish I could hear your guys conversation off camera I bet there funny as hell

[@jeffs9034]

Loyalty is more important than a barista

[@TomCasey]

There goes Tom’s master plan haha

[@darianwillis8520]

I couldn't agree more with Tom here it's like someone is literally reading my mind and saying how I feel. She obviously learned from this

[@Hardlythere]

- wont eat Toms scrum - doesn’t believe the poop pile story - hates laughing at people in severe pain - will turn you in for 1st degree murder According to this list, it’s time to start looking for that Dalmatian wife.

[@cw6082]

As long as you get his coffee on time you'll have nothing to worry about, I agree you didn't get it 🤣

[@-Bert-]

I love that psycho Tom already has this whole first degree murder thing planned out lmao.

[@TiggyRolls]

Saving to my 'watch if Christina goes missing' playlist.

[@jasonmoore3980]

I’m on Tom’s side with this.

[@iLikeMyOwnPosts]

I can't wait until he sees it through and is on the news.

[@albertorynda740]

Feel bad for Tom. Yes she's pretty and chill, but she won't have his back. Sucks to hear

[@sneesus98]

Alberto Rynda well if he kills somone unreasonably then he can't be trusted

[@gleenfales]

Alberto Rynda god you're a loser lol

[@Speakerboxers]

I love how Tom’s dad always calls him buddy. No matter how old we get, you’re always ya parents lil babies 😊

[@Anathemata]

There's only one way to find out Tommy, find a barista.

[@IAmAnAstronaut005]

“You ever thought about THAT Tom!?” Lol

[@ThesisHimselfOfficial]

100% with Tom.

[@TheHadoken1000]

Wow, does she know what loyalty is?

[@Merosity]

Tom you’re lookin thin my dude. Keep up the good work

[@dbstelly]

In good times and “BAD”!!

[@Filiolus]

Wow she really doesn't get his point even if it starts as a joke lol Kinda sad, he actually starts to look bothered

[@hvaranhvaran]

Tom Segura is skilled in killin it.

[@fartooeasy7315]

If Tom was a killer, I'd be conflicted because I'd still like him.

[@Wolverines4ever-sl1js]

His comedic skills could redirect your thoughts from him dismembering people..😂😂😂

[@onthemove4441]

the pull aside was perfect

[@cryptogambler7860]

Wow and i thought she was cool!!!

[@N-e-o1]

I never thought she was. She's annoying quite frankly..and when has she been funny? Never laughed tbh from anyone she does.

[@johncummings7177]

She can’t even be forced to testify…so disappointed.

[@roderickinmon1459]

Lol I'm with her ... Lol I like how she said she will help him with everything else.. yr awesome mom

[@asfollow]

You guys are great !