The SS Bessemer and Ask Heaves: Citation Needed 3x01

We're back again! We start with the tale of SS Bessemer, but soon enough we're coming up with a rejected Bond villain, working out how schooling really happens in Rotherham, and then inventing a terrible butler. Hold on to your mystery biscuits, because this is Citation Needed, Season 3.
BONUS MATERIAL - Atomised Feculence: • Atomised Feculence: Ci...
THE FULL PLAYLIST: • Citation Needed, from ...
TOM is @tomscott and at tomscott.com
GARY is @garybrannan
MATT is @unnamedculprit and at mattg.co.uk
CHRIS doesn't do this social media nonsense.

[@Brannersatlarge]

I don't often go below the line but just to say thanks to you all for the views and the lovely comments. Seriously, it means a lot. We're just 4 blokes trying to make each other laugh and it never ceases to amaze me that other people chuckle along too. Anyway, enough of this mawkishness! On with the show!

[@charliespinoza1966]

Gary Brannan Thanks for putting yourselves out there. (: Your silliness is desperately needed in these dark times!

[@martincohn3448]

the only problem we've got is that we would like more. thanks for the chuckles!

[@tomkenning5482]

These episodes consistently make me metaphorically piss myself, carry on with it, you're my favourite Gary Brannan

[@sethrothz]

You're definitely my favourite Gary Brannon

[@MrJustoldsteve]

Gary Branna

[@benford1726]

🎶Steel goes in Knives come out That's what Sheffield, is all about 🎶 (To the tune of knife goes in, guts come out from that one episode of The Simpsons)

[@ryebreadthewhite3392]

One of my science teachers once was testing a Geiger counter, and it kept going off in a storage room. Turned out there were a bunch of uranium yellow cake left over from the 50s that no one had ever cleaned out

[@elifarmer3815]

Yummy

[@NoNameAtAll2]

mmm, cake

[@chrisoddy8744]

Ah, so when Captain Hook tries to kill Peter Pan with Rich Damp Cake, he was actually using nuclear radiation.... ouch

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

Wow. Kinda surprised it hadn't been flogged to bolster the budget.

[@DanielMumby]

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to f** off!" XD Goldfinger will never be the same again. Love this episode!

[@danlyle531]

Tom: "If you're American, don't Google the Chuckle Brothers" Chris, quietly: *"or Rotherham"*

[@meetaverma8372]

Sadly I spend enough time on KZbin that I don't need to

[@scotcheggable]

I think Rotherham's been bleached from KZbin regarding all of the underage trafficking

[@rosiebattersby2469]

reminds me of a great arctic monkeys lyric - you're not from new York city you're from Rotherham

[@sstorholm]

What you said about post-1945 steel being contaminated due to atomic bomb testing is only partially true. It's also due to the intentional addition of cobalt-60 to the brick lining of steel furnaces, since that makes it possible for the furnace operators to monitor the wearing of the lining by measuring cobalt-60 activity in the exhaust gasses. Some of this cobalt-60 gets included in the steel, making it ever so slightly radioactive. I feel a strong urge to end this comment with "And that is something you might not have known". :) Cheers, and thanks for a good show!

[@gwenynorisu6883]

Whilst I find that explanation interesting, I do wonder why you couldn't just make the speciality steel using a non-cobalt-lined furnace, freshly mined iron ore and freshly mined coal for the carbon... Presumably it's still cheaper and easier to raise the old wrecks and melt them down than doing that instead...

[@K9TheFirst1]

And that's why salvers are blowing up war graves in the South Pacific.

[@K9TheFirst1]

That would be fine, if it weren't WWII war graves that they were melting down.

[@Dafmeister1978]

@@K9TheFirst1 A lot of pre-fallout metal had been taken from the wrecks of the German High Seas Fleet, which was scuttled in Scapa Flow after WW1.

[@K9TheFirst1]

@@Dafmeister1978 Scrapping the wrecks of ships scuttled without any loss of life to spite the victors is a touch different from do the same to war graves and tossing the bones overboard without ceremony, let alone permission from the governments said wrecks and dead sailors came from.

[@CardCaptorKaren]

Happy to see you've labelled Matt Gray.

[@thoperSought]

Karen Sykora just so they wouldn't lose him

[@gwenynorisu6883]

Same reason as why the Mattmobile was labelled for Breaking The News... if he took a wrong turn, it'd be easier for to find him using a police helicopter, or an open top tour bus. Here, if he wanders off whilst wearing the cans, the youtube studios staff will be able to track him.

[@damientonkin]

It’s actually gloss black.

[@ethangoldsmith9332]

@@damientonkin *sips drink* 'out'

[@dbseamz]

@@damientonkin ohhhhh

[@philipschloesser]

Gary should narrate the audio book of the Thing Explainer by Randall Munroe

[@thewingedporpoise]

That would be great, but difficult without some of the visuals, which are a large part of it, like the "bags of stuff inside you" diagram, or the small label on the ISS reading "problem boats"

[@rickwoods182]

Would you say that Bessemer became quite wealthy because of his process? If Bessemer did then, truly, he who smelt it, dealt it.

[@CantSniff]

Rick Woods you are a bad person

[@unexpected2475]

🍪🍪🍪 Mystery Biscuits! 🍪🍪🍪

[@stocktonjoans]

Ask Heaves: Spewing forth information since 1901

[@isaacbailey3681]

You get a golf clap for that!

[@Near_Void]

Definitely not a buiscuits

[@bbgun061]

11:35 You can see Matt thinking, "is it possible to print an mp3?"

[@iriscandy6377]

Crying matt is crazy

[@benjamingeiger]

Also, if anyone is curious, "surge" is forward-back motion. Side to side motion is "sway".

[@zJoriz]

3D movement would be all about these 6 factors, then? Hope I'm naming them right: - Pitch, yaw and roll (the rotation along each of the three axes) - Heave, surge and sway (the movement along each of the three axes)

[@benjamingeiger]

Right. When you hear the term "6 degrees of freedom" these are what they mean: * Pitch (rotation around the side to side axis) * Sway (translation along the side to side axis) * Roll (rotation around the front to back axis) * Surge (translation along the front to back axis) * Yaw (rotation around the top to bottom axis) * Heave (translation along the top to bottom axis)

[@radioanon4535]

​@@benjamingeigerYaw and pitch are backwards there

[@dtghanvey]

Checking in here after Tom was asked about the Bessemer process on his University Challenge appearance

[@senpaipugs]

same here, couldnt resist it

[@houwlingwoolf]

did he answer correctly?

[@DampeS8N]

Are you actively trying to hide your new badass pirate scar?

[@TomScottGo]

William Brall At this point, I'm actively trying to hide a black eye and an enormous, skin-colour-matching plaster that covers most of the left hand side of my face!

[@DampeS8N]

Own it, bro!

[@666Tomato666]

***** you're fighting in the raise of the machines, you should be proud! (yes, I know the story)

[@cameronwebster6866]

William Brall ***** what is the story?

[@hornylink]

+Tom Scott what happened mate?

[@Logan.]

On my third round of watching these. Timeless. Would not complain if there were more to come

[@bl4cksp1d3r]

Already excited for the next episode of totpal :D

[@twertygo]

You guys introduced me to the joy of panel shows, which (as a German) I did not know about previously. And I am truly sad this series is over. You guys rock!

[@eTiMaGo]

check out QI from the BBC, one of my very favorite, in a similar vein

[@ciangrant3042]

9:57 Steelsphincter is a Bond villain's...ahem... clenchman

[@jamiemakkonen7500]

If the editor won’t give us a flashback, I’ll do it myself.

[@suddenlyvlogs]

I feel like “Ask Heaves” would’ve made a good alternative name for WebMD

[@josakura]

I rofled when they suddenly sang “You raise me up~”

[@PatrickASE]

The Walkman disc player didn't have a gimbal of any sort (it may have had shock protection), the anti-skip was done with a buffer, a bigger buffer meant it would play from the buffer longer during jolting, but would need to load into the buffer between the jolts A version of the goodman player (lid switch doctored) meant you could remove the disc for a while and it would carry on playing

[@EmmaLiza]

The one time I'm actually out of the house, Citation Needed starts. OF COURSE. In other news: CITATION NEEDED STARTED HOORAY!!! Farewell Matt Gray's kitchen, you have done your duty. And Tom, I'm glad you've found yet more incredibly awkward angles to film from. Like you're all so damn close that I keep feeling the need to lean in closer and I'm probably gonna break my nose at some point.

[@IceMetalPunk]

A Danny DeVito mojito burrito... Oh, how I've missed the clever wordplay! :D Might I suggest one day cutting together all of your ending puns into a supercut of wit and facepalms? :D

[@alfredoaran3372]

I know this was 5 years ago, but I'm just watching now, and I just had to count the points. Gary got 5 (and biscuits) while Matt got 4 and Chris only got 3. JUSTICE FOR GARY!!!!

[@meetaverma8372]

What has the virus done to us We're so much free

[@TheImmortalPwnage]

This is like QI, but with less Steven Fry, and longer joke interruptions. I can get behind this.

[@diamondrel5190]

Now QI is QI with less Steven Fry

[@TheImmortalPwnage]

@@diamondrel5190 QI has been Steven Fri less for a while now my friend

[@StephenBain]

@@TheImmortalPwnage this makes me Stephen Cry

[@davidkimlive]

It's the first article that I actually knew! When you say it had a special thing on it, a light-bulb went off and I remember it from a general reference book. SS Bessemer.

[@dsgreat3]

Surely "Steel Sphincter" is a metal band

[@unexpected2475]

I mean, what else would it be? Plastic? Rubber?

[@theeyesofryan]

This series keeps shattering my mirth threshold, I'm sitting here doubled over with laughter, trying not to cry in case anyone thinks something is wrong. Damn you guys, but please don't stop!

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

Apparently the extra load from the saloon's gimbal rig is what caused the loss of control

[@kiwigaming09]

Yea having something big rocking side to side would probably cause some control issues

[@therese294776]

Tom's right: I, for one, have never laid eyes upon a Walkman in my life, and I'm not even super young as KZbin users go, given that I'll be 26 this year.

[@janani1826]

17 and we had one a few years ago 😂 the cd version though

[@sourcererseven3858]

@@janani1826 my 5-year-old niece has a CD walkman, to replace the broken CD-deck on her stereo I think. They are still around ;)

[@felixcroc]

I'm Canadian and I don't get a lot of the jokes, but I laughed my arse off at this and all the other Citation Needed episodes, I love it!

[@TakronRust]

it's an educational who's line

[@nanianmichaels]

Tom, you guys had me in stitches by minute 3, and actually crying with laughter by minute 10 or so. Amazing show, looking forward for more of it.

[@PrisonerZero]

I miss Matt Gray's kitchen! Also why is he the only one wearing headphones?

[@TomScottGo]

Scarlett Phoenix KZbin offered us a studio for free, so we thought we'd try it! Still the same unprofessional GoPro shots as ever, though. And Matt's our audio engineer: when the camera's not on him, he's often checking levels and making sure the sound works.

[@PrisonerZero]

***** I shouldn't complain :) loved the episode and looking forward to the rest of the series!

[@iabervon]

***** At the end of the season, do we get to find out if you chose to keep the studio, or demolished it?

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

In one episode we can actually see him working the mixer.

[@benjamingeiger]

I remember cassettes. Now get off my lawn.

[@isaacbailey3681]

@Keithdrew 6 A concept stemming from the pre-Industrial age in which posh people covered their land in relatively useless grass to show off that they didn't need to work fields, which survived the Industrial Revolution and became instead a symbol of upkeep, despite the fact that the grass is, again, useless, and not even particularly decorative.

[@sujimtangerines]

Ha! When I was a kid my dad's Dodge van had an 8-Track and we had to listen to the same 2 cassettes - one of them was CCR.

[@cuzl]

9:04 foreshadowing

[@Jonago.]

'Why would you post an MP3 if you can email it' had me going

[@blobcreeper]

I remember my Walkman, those were the alright old days

[@TransSappho]

I really need 007: Steel Member to be a thing

[@Fennoman12]

It's back! I've been waiting for this :-)

[@jennydubois2535]

Fenno You are very not alone... I am a full grown woman and I squealed Like a child getting cookies from grandma...

[@j.k.wheeler4899]

Tom's face at 4:50, as Gary cries 'Men!'... never seen anyone look so spooked

[@AntigonePoss]

This is one of my favorite online shows ever.

[@ltericdavis2237]

I'm new here. I don't quite know what's going on here, but I think I like it.

[@BrummieMorgan]

I stumbled across Citation Needed and ended up watching all of them back to back. Been waiting for what seems like AGES for the new series. So glad it's back!

[@mizzraika]

This is exactly what I needed, I've had to pause it three times because I was laughing to the point where I couldn't breathe properly.. looking forward to next Thursday!

[@cheshirecreeper3743]

This the most british thing i've ever heard. I LOVE IT.

[@LukasRuge]

Now, if there where a few rounds with a classic deck of trivia cards at the end (and by classic I mean they are from 1984) than this would be perfect... but it's close already.

[@joshuahadams]

+Geoff Nattrass until, the day the randomizer pulls up Emojli or Tom Scott.

[@gwenynorisu6883]

Are you referring to my parents' Genus Edition of Trivial Pursuit?

[@CsharpPreza]

This is absolutely amazing! I had no idea something like this existed which tells me I must be a rather new subscriber. Looking forward to the next one!

[@bobsaget8791]

Longest tangent

[@benphillips6386]

They are all the kind of people you see hanging around at comic conventions

[@hotelmario510]

This is one of the most chaotic episodes and I love it

[@alehaddock64]

This is great stuff. Just binged through all of your episodes, this is my new favourite show!

[@steve1978ger]

I'd like to give all of these another thumbs up as I rewatch them

[@ShakilAhmed-kf5nd]

That wonderful time of year when Citation Needed starts up again

[@Kurliston]

Wait what walkman CD players i allways called that a diskman.

[@zJoriz]

About pre-1940s steel... the demand for it has led to ships being raised illegally. There was a Dutch warship sunk by the Japanese somewhere between Indonesia and China and later marked as a sea grave, but a few years ago divers discovered that it was removed. I'm guessing this was for the reasons you mentioned.

[@CaseyCook25]

I think I'm "The Listener" you mention so many times in the early, non-video version with the Trivial Pursuit cards. SO GREAT to see a new video come out! Cheers!

[@IanMartindale]

Huzzah, great to have Citation Needed back. This has definitely made my day better.

[@BobandFrankProjects]

this has made my day that this is back. i've been watching the old podcast for the past few days and i just spotted this.

[@harveywatson3018]

Thank you so much for bringing this back

[@ethanjohnstone6797]

I think about "you raise me uuuup, so I can make accurate metres" on the absolute reg

[@andriypredmyrskyy7791]

Easily my favourite show on the internet. Good on you guys. Keep it up. We love you.

[@christinecrawford]

You guys are back!! Yay!!!!! (Happy Dance time!) And, boy, you all jumped right in with both feet, didn't you??? I'm watching it first thing after I got up and I'm not sure I'm awake enough yet to keep up with you all!! lol

[@Tokkemon]

This is easily one of the best episodes!

[@Stormfox93]

I have been waiting for this for so long! Finally! Thank you!

[@lukeich]

Came out at the perfect time, thanks for the especially amazing show Tom :D

[@DrVonHugenstein]

Most of your audience are probably post "Ask jeeves"too

[@ilexdiapason]

Max Dooley I know I am - Google is 6 years older than me!

[@onionbot2]

Can confirm.

[@WhoGivesADan]

Found a box of knives on a ship wreck last month and immediately thought of this...

[@hnyii]

[ 1:00 ] I don't believe you, Gary; the garlic bread is nowhere in sight.

[@joebleasdale5557]

Forget post-MP3, there’s a portion of Tom’s audience now that’s post-smartphone. Imagine that

[@SparkySummers]

So happy you're doing these again! :D

[@UwUnaBomber]

One of the funniest episodes so far, looking forward to the next

[@Daekeyas]

I'm so happy this is back! :D these are always such a wonderful time.

[@sydneytalapov6441]

WOOO!! I am so excited for more Citation Needed.

[@TheFerdi265]

Great to have Citation Needed back, it's hilariously funny to listen to

[@EclecticDevo]

Glad to see this show again!

[@annnnelie]

This is my favourite thing to listen to in the morning!

[@lutzjamesa]

Woohooo! Love this series! Kinda miss the dining room table setup though, but it's cool that you're trying something different.

[@Schyzofrenic87]

ITS BACK !!!!! ohh I missed this series !! as a dutchman the idea of the profiterole space helmet back in the day still makes me laugh.

[@TheSpinbeast]

How much technical difficulty did you have getting it working in the new studio ?

[@jenni9877]

I was having a really rubbish day, but this has totally made up for it :) Thanks guys - this was brilliant, as always! Oh, and I had a CD Walkman. It did tend to skip when the car went over a bump. The cassette ones didn't, but mine did have a nasty habit of unwinding tape all over the place...

[@thedigitalrealm7155]

While watching this and enjoying it, a small part of my brain commented: Now do you see why you were bullied at school? My reply?: Yes, yes I do.

[@lutzjamesa]

The return of Citation Needed! Hilarious series, you should definitely watch it!

[@KishoreShenoy1994]

RIP Barry Elliott a.k.a Barry Chuckle

[@BrennanJTC]

oooh, this is excellent; I just finished getting caught up on Season 2. :-D

[@CasablancaSharp]

You got ANOTHER gray hoodie? Hope we'll see this one for the next 10 years.

[@unusual98]

Well…

[@TheAqissiaq]

My stomach and cheek muscles hurt from all the laughing induced by this video

[@LittleMoths94]

Just going to sleep (in Australia) when I saw this come up. So glad to see it back

[@DemolitionTurtle]

What witchcraft is this? A small internet show that is the second funniest thing (behind the Chuckle Brothers, of course) I have ever witnessed? Amazing as always, and I can't wait for the rest of the series! :)

[@woodrobin]

Re: radiation knives: I have seen a couple of different "energetic" straight razors (for shaving). One was magnetized steel (tested, and it did adhere to other ferrous metal), and the other one claimed to be "radio steel" which I didn't have a geiger counter to check to see if contained radium or just BS.

[@thecassman]

The beard is strong in this one...! Great to see Citation Needed return!

[@clem9796]

Love it guys, please post more!

[@waerlogauk]

On a visit to Dounreay (nuclear plant) I asked where the radioactivity in modern steel comes from. Not being experts on steel production they had to 'phone a friend'; the answer given was that it is introduced during crack detection testing of the processing container and transferred from that to the steel. While general background radiation is also a factor I would question - which is more significant? Citation Needed - More facts & more fun than Q.I. you set a high target!

[@commandrogyne]

Enjoying the tabletop closeup cam, really makes me feel like a laboratory mouse

[@calebczepanski4037]

I know this is an old video, but I really like this series. And your comments about young audiences were quite funny. Because they all apply directly to me.

[@ben_1]

Just here to say this episode got just got me a point in a pub quiz, they asked about the Bessemer process. So thanks, I guess.

[@crazyflod]

Love the citation needed This must be the best one 😂

[@thedexter102]

I missed this show so much.

[@Liggliluff]

(0:30) It's always funny watching Brits thinking only the Queen of England (or whatever the title is) being the only queen in the world, and any references to a queen must be the English queen, despite their being multiple kingdoms in the present day with queens.

[@tigercake558]

that mystery biscuits jingle is genius