Too French To Be Happy.

Bonjour, it's Théo 👋
Welcome to SPILL THE FRENCH TEA, our weekly show about French culture!
Today, we need to talk about the French pessimism, why so many of us are sad and cynical... and how we can change it!
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[@denisemarino3021]

From the USA. I m an older woman. I am telling you that to give you perspective. I lived through the 196😂0, 1970, 1980. My parents were born in the USA in the 1920s. Their parents were Italian immigrants to the USA. I want to tell you that I am very proud of you. Pessimism and feeling a prison of other peoples judgement, holds people back from their destiny. God made each of us unique. We were each born with a fire in our belly, place there by God, to accomplish what you are suppose to do. Just think, if those bold, outgoing, aggressive, compassionate, generous, self sacrificing Americans did not land on the shores of Normandy during WWII, the French people would all be speaking German now. You must encourage each other, encourage your dreams and desires as long as they do not hurt anyone or anything. God placed us on this earth to help and support each others destinies. Keep making your videos. I enjoy them!

[@sandrad3346]

Your advice about dealing with negativism is spot on! There are these types of people everywhere, not just in France. Great video 👍

[@frenchguytheo]

I'm so happy to help! Glad you loved the video 🙏

[@anastasia10017]

yeah but the French take the trophy for negativity

[@tamaramaksimovic5299]

Over the past year, I've truly developed a distaste for cynical individuals. I believe that every person harbors beauty and love within them. I've somewhat reprogrammed my brain so that positivity is now my default perspective. Having battled cynicism and depression before, I feel a strong urge to encourage others to embrace a more positive outlook and discover joy in small moments, as it has greatly improved my own life. Life is beautiful!

[@frenchguytheo]

You are amazing ! You can be proud for the work you made on yourself 🙏

[@dridore1585]

the school system affects culture a lot and culture affects the school system too. in France, if you show you're happy while at school, you're gonna get into trouble, others are gonna annoy you because it's an easy way for them to have fun.

[@xxstormxx56]

I think it has to do with our upbringing. As I grew up, I became more and more pessimistic and realized that everything was not fair. My parents moved to other place and had me born there. However, they could not speak the language, not even my siblings, only me in this family. Whenever I translated everything for my family, I never got any thanks, positive feedbacks or appreciation. They took everything for granted. Instead, I was yelled at for not being good enough.

[@frenchguytheo]

Our childhood can have such a bad impact on us, but you don't have to fit their expectations, you are yourself, you are more free than you think 🙏 I wish you all the best !

[@consciouslight9291]

Bravo Theo. Just found your channel. Moved to France after USA and UK. Almost everyone very positive. Your video helped me understand the rare encounter with the negative people. Keep up the good work, you are making a difference.

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much 😊 🙏

[@yoselinerobles727]

Such a great and refreshing positive message! Thanks for sharing and inspiring!

[@frenchguytheo]

I'm so glad you loved it!

[@Ivana-fz3ex]

As an Italian living in Scotland I fully understand what you mean.

[@frenchguytheo]

🤝🤝🤝

[@dipsetsfinest16]

Really enjoyed this convo! As an American, it’s interesting to learn how the French perspective differs from ours

[@frenchguytheo]

I'm so happy you loved it! This convo are more intimate, more personal, and I'm glad it resonated with you!

[@aeolia80]

Hahaha!! This is amazing and so true!! I'm a pessimistic person, from the US, and I think it's more because my dad is one. And I married a super positive and talkative French guy and immigrated to France, and omg, the complaining here is a nightmare, and this is me, a pessimist speaking, lol. I'm so happy I ended up with one of the few positive and "glass half full" types of French people because we balance each other out, if he was more like an actual French person I think I'd be more than slightly depressed and pessimistic all the time, I'd be angry, and I wouldn't last long. My husband is even constantly criticized by his family fir being the way he is, like he can't audibly enjoy his food, I'm from a culture where it's ok, and we met and got married in Korea where audibly enjoying your food is even encouraged, but his family will tell him to "stop saying mmmm when you eat, it's rude, we are not in Korea or the US", and so when I hear people say the French take pleasure in their food I'm like ok, that's BS, lol.

[@frenchguytheo]

I'm glad for you that you married such a positive guy ! Don't listen to his family ahah, you can enjoy your food as you want 😊

[@tomlau9495]

I am from Hong Kong. Thanks for letting me understand the French culture more other than the well-known fashion, cuisine and more. By the way, I like watching your videos 😊

[@frenchguytheo]

I'm so happy you love my videos! Thank you!

[@Liberation_from_the_matrix]

Sad when a country of 1500 years is now just know for cuisine and fashion... But I guess France don't export its history anymore.

[@tomlau9495]

@@Liberation_from_the_matrix As I typed fashion, cuisine “and more” above which indicates France has a lot to offer to the world that many know. In addition, French history is one of the main parts of History class at school in Hong Kong.

[@Liberation_from_the_matrix]

@@tomlau9495 Yes sorry it's my fault I should have been more specific, I meant in general.

[@tomlau9495]

@@Liberation_from_the_matrix No worries, be happy! I made the same mistake sometimes too. 🤓

[@kikujirofromkyoto]

Je suis tout à fait d'accord avec toi 😂. En France on est toujours négatifs. Tout va toujours mal. Ça m'a fait du bien de vivre à l'étranger et de connaître d'autres façons de vivre, de penser. ❤

[@frenchguytheo]

Mais tellement ! Même quand y'a des bonnes nouvelles on n'est jamais content, on ne veut jamais célébrer les petites avancées

[@idontknowwhyihavesubcribers]

I'm bicultural (my mum is French, and I lived in France for 10 years), and I agree with pretty much everything that you say. What's strange is that at the same time, the French really do have a joie de vivre. Holidays are sacred to them (as they should be). It's not like that here. We don't have a single month in the year when the country closes down. I wish that we did. But yes, the "can't do" attitude so common in France makes it difficult to live there.

[@frenchguytheo]

You are so right! We have a culture of "joie de vivre", enjoy the life, but when it's about work, business, talking about the future, we can be so pessimistic

[@Showbizboy]

I studied French at school up to the age of 18 this is now 42 years ago. When I visited France and stayed with families I didn’t recognise what you are saying. I think the French are a really proud nation and quite rightly so. What you describe for example, the haters, is probably the same the world over and is not peculiar to France or the French. If you ask a group of conservative people for advice you’ll get conservative advice. Ask a group of entrepreneurs and it will be different!

[@YarennSagorXiyat]

Excellent

[@frenchguytheo]

Thanks!

[@edwarddeladetroit2551]

You Have Strong accent but your speaking English very well. Accents are admired.

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you!!

[@kanao2007]

With your accent (sincerely I love it) everyone can be happy :) Nice video buddy

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much 😊

[@williamfahey6066]

I agree with you completely. Having a positive approach to life is important. Maintaining a positive state of mind and tapping into positive beliefs is key to a happy life. If a person has that state of mind, nobody can take that away from you. If you know someone that has a negative way of thinking, he or she , most likely grew up in a childhood of people that were or are the same way. That kind of negative mental programing is learned by the way we grew up. Very good video, Theo! Jeff❤

[@frenchguytheo]

That's so true! And we all need to think about how we were conditioned to think as a kid, because it was not necessarily made the best way !

[@enriquesanchez2001]

Bonjour, THEO - you have such a BEAUTIFUL SOUL! It is so refreshing to hear you speak with such wonderful enthusiasm! I have to congratulate you for expressing this to us! Too bad I did not see you in Paris last month! You would have made my visit even better! ♥♥♥♥ À BIENTÔT!

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you 😊

[@featherstone5838]

Your description of sadness and pessimism as a national attitude is spot on. While it exists in most countries, to me it seemed to be outstanding in France for a long time. Just look at the many French songs: There is hardly a happy one. Don't get me wrong; I like those songs - they have more 'depth' than e.g. the early Beatles songs. But the best to me is the Gilets Jaunes movement, as they didn't even seem to know what for or against they were protesting. Vive la revolution!😄

[@whateverpeople6199]

J'habite aux Etats-Unis avec deux parents français, je vais leur envoyer cette vidéo. D'ailleurs, c'est pas qu'en France que le pessimisme est partout, c'est aussi au Etats-Unis. Aux Etats-Unis, ils sont juste plus discrets. On se plaint constamment. Quand Trump était au pouvoir, la plupart des gens se plaignaient tellement. On était tellement pessimiste, qu'on pensait que rien ne pouvait aller mieux. C'est un peu comme en France, en fait.

[@frenchguytheo]

C'est triste de voir ça, mais je suis sûr que ça va changer avec les futures générations, on va faire bouger les choses !

[@kellyphx]

Your English is excellent! This video was an eye opener for me. May I tell you one of my favorite jokes that is on topic? This is from a French comedian. I do not remember his name, sorry. This was his example of the real difference between the French and Americans: American Friend #1: "Where have you been, I haven't seen you in a while?" American Friend #2: "I was on a six-month around the world cruise!" American Friend #1: "Awesome! Tell me everything!" French Friend #1: "Where have you been, I haven't seen you in a while?" French Friend #2: "I was on a six-month around the world cruise!" French Friend #1: "Arrogant prick."

[@frenchguytheo]

Ahahah I promise we are not that rude 😭

[@brianlooksaround6125]

You have a great spirit, Théo. I’m routing for you.

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you Brian !

[@marynewcomer4067]

Keep up the good job. Don't give up. Use your positive energy.

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much!

[@mackinacfleurs1029]

Theo thank you for this video! it is very inspiring.

[@frenchguytheo]

I'm so glad you loved it! Thank you!

[@ligiamanj]

Critics are insecure but act as if they know what they don't. But you are doing the work whole they talk. Good message

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you 🙏

[@jameshopkins7507]

You are spot on! Very good analysis. Merci bien! Ça marche parfaitement!

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you 😊

[@inbb510]

I feel this excessive pessimism is a problem in the UK too. Everybody always like to criticise something or someone. And it is never your fault and it is always someone else's fault. And this gets reflected in our politics too where there is very toxic sloganisation of politics where people don't like nuanced discourse to complex problems. I'd say the pessimism doesn't translate to very violent strikes like France but it does make us British people very pessimistic and extremely judgemental to people who want to be successful. They assume successful people are "privileged" or that they are "bumlicking the capitalist system" - it can never come from your altruistic desires to want to self improve and want to create a positive legacy. There are many British people who say extremely stupid (and quite frankly extremely insensitive) things like how we are a "third world shithole". Noone claims the UK is perfect or is the El Dorado. There are many things in the UK where we can learn from Europe and the US. But this attitude about the "grass being greener on the other side" in Britain is strongly holding us back.

[@frenchguytheo]

I agree with you so much! It's the same in France, we need to be more nuanced and stop putting the responsibility on other people or government, we have to deal with our lives ourselves, we can't expect everything to save us

[@alisalexter4072]

Germany, France and the UK. Y’all dont like people who try to be different. As much as the US is criticized, what we can learn from them is that they commend people who have ambition to rise above their station. In the UK especially, there is a bit of a “know your place” mentality.

[@GiantJake]

Keep up the good work!

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you 🥰

[@Lori_L]

I enjoy hearing your thoughts & your English is wonderful. Keep up the good work

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much 🥰

[@Lori_L]

@@frenchguytheo you're welcome

[@craigavery8213]

Very apt for me and very interesting.

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you!

[@j.b.6709]

Bonjour ! Je suis américaine et j'ai juste trouvé ta chaîne. Je veux te dire que "critique" était bien dire en le contexte que tu as utilisé. Pas de besoin de se corriger :) J'espère qu'un jour, je peux parler le français comme bien que tu parles l'anglais !

[@frenchguytheo]

Merci beaucoup ! Je te souhaite le meilleur!

[@trainlikeahorse]

Very interesting topic!!! We like videos like this to learn more about French people and French culture

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much! I will make more videos like it!

[@cann9155]

Native New Orleanian AMAZING how the culture was exactly the same when i grew up many many years ago. I moved away @25yrs old. Learned to believe in possibilities.. ⏳🕰The internet...🌍... THANK YOU💝💝💝Subscribed✅

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you!

[@rotteneffekt4416]

French debate 😂 (everybody talking over eachother while feeling mighty superior). Bon courage mec. FAIL - first attempt in learning. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👏

[@reginabaldwin7543]

Theo, you have a wonderful spirit. Never let anyone tell you no!

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much!

[@raiyankabir3259]

Hello Theo. I've been following you for quite a bit of time. If you ever want to talk about Bangladesh or visit the country, please contact me. I really love your positivity and attitude towards life. Wish you all the best!!

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you so much!

[@maxnewton686]

Is "French pessimism" mainly a Parisian thing or is it all of France? The more I learn French and hear from French natives, most say "Paris is not France, and France is not Paris." A lot of marketing for "France" is considered one side of Paris, really, according to other sources. So is "French rudeness" or "French pessimism" really the same in Bretagne, Bordeaux, Toulouse, Marseilles, Nice, Lyon, Strasbourg, Normandie, etc.? Or is this just aspects of Paris that marketing may take hold and project loudly to the world? Love your video and your channel! Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm also trying to learn to love the positives of French life while learning the language, but I admit it's these negative things which have held me back.

[@frenchguytheo]

Thank you for your question ! Unfortunately I think it's the same pretty much everywhere in France, specially when we talk about politics, many people from the countryside or from other cities are pessimistic and they expect something to save them. In Paris, I think it's more direct because it's more populated, so actions and demonstrations are more visible

[@Liberation_from_the_matrix]

Parisians are all concentrated in a small area and the majority of riots etc is there. In any case it's true there's more and more pessimism but it's due to the degradation of the quality of life and it's not just in France.

[@loridelia8806]

I am an American in Paris now. I am having a blast!!! I have interacted with nice French people and a few rude people who work at restaurants, especially when I tried to speak French. Most Americans are just nice people. Sorry we are not all fake. But, honestly who cares ? Just be yourself ❤

[@frenchguytheo]

Yes ! Just be yourself ! Was the restaurant a touristic one ? They should be used to people speaking different languages, it's not normal to be disrespectful !

[@joenroute9646]

The fake thing comes with your over friendly interaction as if it is a real friend . And you ' how are you' when you do not mean it .

[@joenroute9646]

French people are just like coconut 🥥 hard outside but soft inside . Americans are peach 🍑 soft outside but hard inside. In short the first interaction with an American is easy but will not last longer and deeper whereas the french is a first formal and distant but they can be our friend for ever

[@berenicedecastilla4980]

In France when I meet foreigners coming to live in France and they dont speak french I always give them the best advise : dont learn french you will stay happier !😂

[@frenchguytheo]

Ahahahah oh no they should learn it, it's a fantastic language

[@SephoraDuLac]

The French are going to love (hate) me. FYI, people are often critical and judgy about everything here in the USA as well. And when you get past the tendency to restrain yourself because of the potential for criticism.. oh man.. then people are REALLY bothered (threatened) by you

[@frenchguytheo]

That is SO REAL ! When you are free from their judgement, then they are scared about you ahah

[@CallMeCJorDandy]

im practicing my art for a project and im lacking of people. Theo if you're into art , maybe talk about it ! i would like to start with you 🎨

[@frenchguytheo]

What is your project ! Don't hesitate to share it in comments!

[@CallMeCJorDandy]

Something that could possibly help the economy's phycology/ideology. Younger generation is struggling i can tell and im also struggling , so maybe an expressive art and possibly even an animation film that is relevant 🎨🎥🎬 ​@@frenchguytheo

[@Sheratim]

Les Français qui sont majoritairement râleurs ça ne m’étonne pas

[@manoul71]

tu projettes beaucoup en fait ..

[@anastasia10017]

What bothers me about the French is their rigidity. they are sooo rigid.

[@frenchguytheo]

Oh what make you feel this way ? Share your experience 👇

[@pmoran9785]

Please tell president macron to remove glass pyramid from louvre / hope makes Parisienne's happy

[@frenchguytheo]

But it's a magnificent monument !