Tools to Help Empaths Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

In this video Debbie Mirza interviews Kathryn Lucatelli who explains tools she uses with herself and her clients to help them get to the truth and see clearly after narcissistic abuse.
Are you an empath who would like to learn how to effectively ground, center and shield your energy to better access your truth? You can claim your free guided meditation,Take Charge of Your Empathy: Live Connected and Protected, here: www.kathrynlucatelli.com/medi....
Here is a link to Debbie's Books, Healing Music, and Guided Meditations: debbiemirza.com/

[@karo1564]

Silent treatment is pure torture. Especially for a communicative person... it can drive you nuts, let you feel desperate, hopeless, helpless, frustrated and depressed. I always knew that I didn't do or say anything wrong. Maybe I spoke my truth before or I insisted on an answer to an important question. Nothing what a narcisstic or other personality disordered person want to deal with. Silent treatment is severe emotional abuse. And very painful and harmful to the one who is objected to it.

[@johnwentz3925]

Silent treatment and ghosting. That coupled with complete emotional abandonment when you need it most. Leaves you feeling completely alone and depressed.

[@monalisa2662]

I am in the midst of silent treatment and like you have no idea what I did. My husband will not answer my texts or even speak to me while being in the same room. The hardest thing about it is he has our son convinced I did something wrong and am not treating him well. I am exasperated and feel all the things you listed and more. Just just trying to survive and stay sane and not loose myself. I moved to our loft and feel some peace there but my husband told me I was driving our relationship to divorce by moving up there. It was an act of self preservation for myself. I would like more information on how to cultivate a more loving atmosphere. I am living in quiet desperation and treading water. I am so grateful to have found this today... I have hope for the first time in a very long time (26 years)

[@johnwentz3925]

If you have done thorough research and all indicators point to him being a bit narco, then there is not much you can do to make for a healthy marriage. The behaviors of the narc are toxic, the exact opposite of those neeed for a happy and healthy relationship. Silent treatment is the number one tactic used and IS emotional abuse. But normal people can do this sometimes as well. So there must be more indicators like gaslighting and the inability to show true empathy. Does he ever show caring and interest in you from an emotionally mature standpoint?

[@johnwentz3925]

Phone went crazy and posted a bunch of times. I deleted the duplicate posts. So ignore any excessive emails. Sorry.

[@JenAWren]

Absolutely....it's worse than any physical abuse.

[@DailyPositiveAffirmatives]

I appreciate your compassionate and non-judgmental approach to topics concerning those on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse who’re trying to recover from it and have an improved quality of life.

[@s.b.d.manager1272]

That was so touching when Debbie said every part of me is OK with you. That's what it's all about. That's what's important in the aftermath of NA. That's what's important in life. So beautiful to see these two women. I just love Debbbie. I love Debbie's way. It's so just lovely and genuine. I love Kathryn now too after this introduction. Another tremendous woman, brilliant. 🎶 You're finding your way. This time around 🎶

[@debbiemirza1744]

Thank you So much! Your comment really touched my heart. xx

[@leoniepoortman]

This was the video I needed, the last part of information to understand why my childhood was so horrible and why I experienced it so much worse compared to my sisters. I think I am an empath and I was raised by a covert narc mom. I think my dad was changed by my mom, because he got lost into the paranormal, I feel like he is searching the answers outside of himself. My mom would pretend to cry for attention and so when I cried my dad told me that I was the same as my mom and that I had to stop whining. I was so sensitive, every argument or when people raise their voices would upset me greatly. My dad shut me down emotionally for many years, telling me I was over reacting in general. And my mom was just so busy with herself that she used to come to me to cry, but she never ever once held me when I was sad. When my sisters come to term with me choosing to go no contact with my mom, I will fully break this toxic bond. My whole I felt like I had to earn the love from my parents and even though they can't help it, it is just so painful and hard to handle. Sometimes I am afraid to stay stuck in these sad feelings, because I did not know how to handle them when I was a teenager. Thank you very much, I felt crazy for all these years for feeling something but the people most close to me always told me something else. And the moment I started to doubt my body, doubt what I feel is when I really lost myself. It is all starting to make sense and even though its painful, I know it will be better in the future. I will focus on the new people in my life that I can fully connect with. Thank you again. I will download the meditation, because I know it is going to help me tremendously.

[@anniejefferson7614]

Cut these people off. Cut it off. Years of healing need to take place. Completely cut it off. Hide out if you have to. I did. Cut it off like a gang green limb.

[@Indigo_newness]

Annie Jefferson yep I did this 2 weeks no contact now

[@peter-cj5fo]

I found it to be like cutting off a gangrene limb but wanting to stitch it back on again. It's truly nuts, so glad to be away from what would have been hell on earth. These people are the most puzzling and bewildering people I have ever encountered. I feel really sorry for them but have more empathy for their victims.

[@Marie-rs4ns]

Absolutely. These toxic people are so destructive they drive you to the brink of despair. I survived an emotionally abusive marriage and I am in recovery ❤️‍🩹. Videos such as these along with all of the valuable information are so imperative to my healing journey. I’m so grateful.

[@marykoch1611]

I am an Empath and have dealt with Narcissists throughout my Life, many different situations. Thank you for sharing this important information 💕💕

[@crshia]

Loved this! Especially the energy and good feel between you both. It's nice to see whole and healthy relationships as touchstones!

[@darlenarusso8235]

Thank you so much for your knowledge on this subject. I am in recovery from a long term narcissistic abuse relationship. God bless you for sharing the tools needed to aid in recovery. Had no idea how to help myself get through all this to the other side. I am starting to feel hopeful and looking forward to the future. Thank you so much!!

[@createwithbarbbl4125]

Your friendship is beautiful to see. It caused me to remember trying to reach out (before I knew what I was dealing with, my abuse has been long and very subtle) and explain my situation to a 'friend' she asked a few days later how things were, to which I replied "same same" her comment to that was, "Ah well Rome wasn't built in a day, or 48 years" (the amount of time I have been married to my narc'. Needless to say, our conversations are all about her now, I have nothing left to share. You may say I don't need a friend like that, but she is currently my only friend. Thank you for the videos, they have helped immeasurably. The lightbulb is on and I am 'leaning forward' to achieve my goals.

[@debbiemirza1744]

I so understand. I really do. And I'm so happy to hear you are leaning forward! You deserve friends who see your magnificence and cherish you. I did start an online support group on facebook if that would help. There are kind people to connect with there. Here is a link to it: facebook.com/groups/1971759302929595/?ref=bookmarks

[@createwithbarbbl4125]

@@debbiemirza1744 Thank you so much for your response. I know you understand. I am currently avoiding facebook - I am vegan, and it seemed to cause some people to get angry and abusive. I decided I didn't need that in my life. I realise there are a lot of lovely people out there, but I am wary of joining social media platforms, even private and safe ones. I bought a kindle version of your second book and started reading it last night. I also tried a simple heart question which worked, (picture my face in the mirror, eyes wide, mouth OMG) hahaha. So thank you from my heart for the work you do. I no longer want to just survive, I want to thrive, because I don't even know what that will look or feel like. Barbara.

[@debbiemirza1744]

@@createwithbarbbl4125 I totally understand about social media. I love that you want to thrive now and that you got my second book! I'm working on my 3rd right now, which I know will be really helpful too. Take exquisite care of yourself! xx

[@createwithbarbbl4125]

@@debbiemirza1744 Thank you so much Debbie. It means a lot. X

[@vicstee482]

SO true that the silent treatment is absolute hell. Having grown up in a family where the whole street could hear him shouting, i would take that anyday over the silent treatment! My CN does the silent treatment all the time. Even though i know what it is now, i still hate it. But when he has had enough he can switch in a second. It is quite disturbing 😱

[@julietma]

I love this! So much of what you both are talking about resonates. Thank you and much love!

[@Marie-rs4ns]

Wow. Thank you. I subscribed to your channel and I confirmed my link to the guided meditation.

[@debbiemirza1744]

Oh wonderful! And thank you!

[@leyanayefremenkov]

So thankful for this ❤️

[@fitandfabulous]

Awesome ladies!! Thank you!!💙💙💙

[@jameslacroix1028]

I have always been sensitive and empath the silent treatments was so bad and I was thinking what am I doing wrong I always new I didnt do nothing wrong I was the same person and when I love someone I just love them all the things that happened I was so confused and was getting more sick and exhausted and when I had enough I went after the 4 time I broke up with my ex the 5 time I went no contact and that is when I learned about NPD and I was like omfg that what has been going on the last two years. Debbie thank you for your book explaining everything. It reminded mr about everything my ex did .I never saw a therapist but I have the symptoms of ptsd .i know i have it. I had it since i went no contact with my ex since the summer of 2017

[@SusanBame]

I tried your techniques, and my fingers don't work, while sitting, or while standing, on either hand. However, trying the leaning-forward or leaning-backward technique worked. I also use a pendulum with great success.

[@debbiemirza1744]

I experience the same thing Susan. Thanks for sharing xx

[@berneicechapman4302]

I had the best childhood just got caught with the covert narc when very vulnerable and then in grief from loss of parents and not strong enough to leave. Knew at 4 years and then went to counselling who said he was great then had another baby and then second parent died. Wanted to leave when i was 40 year but not strong enough and then son got sick. Then we built a house. Went to another 3 counsellors. No one ever said do you think he is a narcissist. I didn't even know about narcissist till the last couple of years or covert till this year. It has been such a long journey to find answers. Now i'm 54. WIsh I knew this 10 years ago and left.

[@nadaal-kawsi2387]

Awesome conversation ! I got the information I need and looking for more :)

[@wfm5121954]

Excellent video! Thank you!

[@kazwilliams641]

I find it hard to get my head round narcissists I still don’t fully understand what they are but I do no I’ve been threw abuse from a mother in law and sister in law who gang up on me I have went no contact but when my mother in law does wrong I feel my partner lets it slip doesn’t want to talk about it it’s frustrating cause I feel he does not see what I’ve put up with it’s difficult anyways keep up the good work guys x

[@lucyinthesky7923]

I am going through the same exact thing with my mother and sister in law. It is not easy. :(

[@lifegratitude7264]

Yes, thank you ladies. I always known things, I get asked, "how did you know?" I always respond, "I don't know, I can't explain it, I just do." Your body does give you clues, you can just feel some things. You don't always know what it is your feeling, you just know something is off and it usually comes out later as to what it was.

[@debbiemirza1744]

Exactly! Well done listening to your body! xx

[@maryfarrell2296]

@@debbiemirza1744 + life gratitude I wanted to ask you, if I may? I've always had the experience that you expressed,. How do you know? I dunno? I just do,. Kind of a weird or even silly response I felt I gave,.but it was true! & I realized after a while that the more tired or sleepy I was the more accurate but also I could detail my answers as to true or not with explainations around the subject & yet still no answer of how or where it came from ( akashic record?) Bc once this got pulled out of me by a friend ( something I previously suppressed ) it kinda got around & I was being asked by more people the "true or not" about things & people I never knew or met or barely knew about,. Anyway! My question is; Did this recede while in low times in your life with a narcissistic person? Strangely? I was not effected by my own present experience or tough times ever before? ( Not that I noticed anyway ) & not like I seem to be in "my now" experience & I wondered if you did? Thank you so much I enjoyed reading about your experience in this! & Debbie,. I feel like I know you! Like you're a friend I used to know lol You're personality is so welcoming & friendly,. its familiar♡

[@amrutapatil3841]

Amazing video !

[@berneicechapman4302]

I want to be trained by you Debbie and work in Australia spreading the word to help people like us.

[@TracyAMalone]

Great video. See you tonight Debbie

[@debbiemirza1744]

Thanks Tracy!

[@ruthstolz7127]

I talk so much about the abusing person, so many don't want to hear it. So I have had to stuff my feelings. I've gotten away from two narc men, two narc "friends", narc "church" leaders and now have been no contact with a narc older sister. I've had some relapses with her, but see the lies and manipulation. She has been smearing me for years since I set time boundaries and wouldn't allow unlimited access. Boy is she mad!

[@lynleekelly4910]

How do you deal with someone that is not in a relationship but in a work setting that does this?

[@debbiemirza1744]

Hi Lynlee, I don't know if you've read my book, but I do have a chapter on the workplace. Hope that helps. xx

[@jenniferh9374]

Where is the link to her 3 videos mentioned in video?

[@amandastein6247]

Yup, called lazy all the time, was told “you’re so lazy, you do nothing for this family” while I worked 7 days a week for 3 years while also caring for a baby. 👍🏼

[@tonifelise6297]

One of the things my narcissist would do is she would lie through her teeth and say all her bad habits and horrible behavior was actually my behavior, and after a while people would believe it,

[@wakeup721]

My Xnarc never put me down, didn’t make fun of me, what he did do was lie about what he was doing, what he had done, or was going to do. Now that I look back, he was a lazy chicken sh!t @ss. I remember once he came home acting all tired, my response to him was how could he possibly be so F’ing tired moving from chair to chair, conference room to conference room? I reminded him I too held a corporate job for 25-years and it was nothing next to what I was doing currently. At the time, I was remodeling the home, doing it myself, would be dead dog tired, covered in sweat and dirt, stop my work, shower, change clothes, put on makeup and cook dinner on top of it all. Oh I also had to throw in the routine cleaning the house, laundry, shopping and errand running. I have never been so physically and mentally exhausted in my life. He disgusts me, which I guess is one of the phases I have to go though to fully heal.

[@traceyb7385]

I am with you totally. I am similarly very active at work and home and have just stepped off that hamster wheel. My Narc husband had an affair and I have left him. Strangely, I felt relief as my first emotion as it gives me a valid reason to divorce him.. I can now see his constant lack of insight for others, lack of empathy and keeping me ever so slightly tired for 25 years was a sick way of manipulating me. I am now getting rest and able to pace my life and plan holidays and trips for myself and my children. We are very happy. It's been quite a journey as I still miss him but not the monkeying around.

[@tailsntrails]

You seem extremely critical and bitchy

[@vampireslayer1989]

Trust your gut. The Narcissist always reveals them self early on.

[@beautifulqueen3887]

I have ptsd from the abuse idk what to do....😞

[@jameslacroix1028]

I have recommended your book to a female friend who was going thru what I was going too

[@yall2743]

The finger did not work ...

[@anara5570]

This is entering into esoteric mysticism

[@a.c.9993]

I see what you mean!! Ha ha 😂

[@tonifelise6297]

You need to be a very strong person to deal with a narcissistic person, in my case my older sister is a sadistic psychopathic narcissist, I'm in my 50s and I truly believe that if my father had not caught on to her evil behavior and punish her severely, that she probably would have killed me as a baby, Even with that she still managed to destroy my childhood, Her main goal in life was and is to destroy my entire life, that's why I know she is sick .

[@shelleysmith6667]

Muscle testing? Idk....

[@kathrynnorrisctmltbsascp2913]

#NarcdMeToo

[@annawilson8235]

It really doesn’t seam to work for me

[@debbiemirza1744]

Which part didn't work for you Anna?

[@annawilson8235]

The muscle response. I’ve tried it quite a few times using other techniques as well but I’ve never had a response. I think it’s possible that I overthink it and let my conscious mind get in the way too much I’m not sure x

[@debbiemirza1744]

It helps me more when I do it with someone else. The finger thing doesn't work for me just doing it on my own

[@stefarfa52]

Just use an eggercizer!

[@maryfarrell2296]

@@debbiemirza1744 ~ I guess you're my new best friend lol bc I just replied to another post here ) but I wanted to say: unfortunately my experience seems to be that way in everything! Works for others not for me that is; I can answer for others but not myself,. But I really enjoyed this & found it very interesting! I've heard of it but friendly presentation instead of a dry read is much more pleasent, I'm so glad I saw it,. I was actually hoping it was an exercise I could find worked for me too instead of 'only' others! But I'm going to give it a try anyway!

[@hisnewlife3543]

Why do narcissists accuse you of being a narcissist?

[@tonifelise6297]

They lie habitually, it's all about manipulation, to them that is power ,

[@liv_my_life6947]

Your video makes no sense, I want to,heal from the abuse

[@debbiemirza1744]

Hi Kim. I have a lot of other videos that will help with healing. I also have a healing course available. This one was more directed at trusting your body. Sending you lots of love on your healing journey xx

[@sunnywakefield9254]

MINE IS BEYOND NARCISSIST, HE IS A PSYCHO PATH, HE KILLED MY CAT ...AND HE IS IS NOT IN PRISON ...!!! I JUST WANTED TO CATCH HIM...!!!!!!!

[@sunnywakefield9254]

I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT MY FRIEND GERARRAD NICODIME ROBBED HIS OWN TRUCK ???