Top 10 Funniest/Stupid Things Karl Pilkington Has Ever Said

[@ethaleawa]

My favorite Karl quote is: "I thought about the Big Bang and wondered if it was really a big bang, or if it just sounded louder as there was no other noise to drown it out".

[@I_V_X]

Profound

[@UKDrillTV.]

But considering there is no noise in space that we can hear with our own ears so it could have just been a little pop for all we know instead of a bang

[@adamyoud6934]

@@UKDrillTV. Sound doesnt travel in a vaccum so you wouldnt be able to hear it

[@UKDrillTV.]

@@adamyoud6934 i know i just said that smh🤦‍♂️

[@mikaelsongameofwar2360]

@@UKDrillTV. 😂

[@TonyEnglandUK]

I swear Karl came within 1% of being a genius but his brain took a wrong turn at the last moment.

[@ggdiven]

had a good chuckle over that one. thank you

[@danjeffries3914]

i often wonder is he the genius and we are the idiots... then straight after i think na he's an idiot

[@dusanrakic5955]

i hate your profile picture

[@dannyboy_dannyboy8274]

His skull fell off 😊

[@TonyEnglandUK]

lol how many times did you try and swat it before you realised

[@spinny003]

"You see, I'm using me fables" may be my favourite mini-quote from Karl.

[@myhatmygandhi6217]

#9 Is an example of Gervais being more dense than Pilkington.

[@ech-pi-el]

@@myhatmygandhi6217 how exactly? Ricky was 100% right

[@mini_mozzer]

@@myhatmygandhi6217 you must not listen to this a lot

[@TheBrickWhisperer]

"USE YOUR BRAIN INSTEAD!"

[@klatewilson5170]

*_"Tell us everything you know about Anne Frank."_* _"She was in a cupboard"_

[@MandenTV]

LMAO

[@neptunevibe]

actually is accurate

[@filipzawistowski4390]

@@neptunevibe Hmm, not really.

[@mezalong]

@@filipzawistowski4390 kzbin.info/www/bejne/l2nZkomYicSfjpI

[@xxDOTH3DEWxx]

Like Indian in the Cupboard

[@tonyhall9681]

"I'm using me fables"

[@ValkyrieDaisy95]

"HAHAHA! Use yer brain instead!" xD

[@Josh-co7pz]

Love it when he says this.. It's what I searched to get here

[@andreasedborg2250]

Josh W Same here, it´s a classic!

[@Josh-co7pz]

Anklar Svenne I can't wait for moaning of life 2 this year!

[@josephpawlowski5810]

Josh W is that really happening?

[@MagusMirificus]

Karl isn't playing a character. No one, on this earth, can play a character for over ten years, while being recorded on hundreds and hundreds of hours of radio shows, podcasts, and television shows, without breaking once. No one can be that consistent for so long. I will concede that he may exaggerate his personality slightly at times for comedic effect, but the vast majority of the time he's being honest. He quite simply perceives the world differently from other people. That's why he's so consistently amusing: any piece of information he absorbs he will be able to comment on and say something you never could have predicted, because he's operating on a different wavelength, all the time. If he's faking here, that means he's faking every single time he's been on camera or on record in his entire life. Listen to him in the first series of the XFM radio shows from 2001; he's just as odd as he is now. Did he invent the character then, before he was a celebrity? And then just stick to it this whole time? I don't think so.

[@EWillard44]

That's what I say. He's been on TV, Radio, Podcasts, and had interviews over the past 13 years and not once has he broken character.

[@GOonTedgi]

Yup. This

[@callumbentley2650]

I'm not reading all that

[@lalajadeeyes]

Thank you! Why people want to make him out to be fake is beyond me. This is the reason why it's funny, because it's real!

[@girlsdrinkfeck]

Laura Padron they are just jealous that his numb nuts personality gets him money and fame ,and their arrogant tempered personal gets them nothing but agro

[@forestbyfilm]

"Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's *foodage*"

[@Kamil2142]

Dan Hebbard does anyone know what episode is that? Ricky's reaction is hilarious

[@ihaveasmalldickbut1399]

@@Kamil2142 yeah it's called *blank room soup* it took me a while to find it since it was under a weird name but enjoy buddy

[@Kamil2142]

@@ihaveasmalldickbut1399 Thank you!

[@ihaveasmalldickbut1399]

@@Kamil2142 all good buddy

[@liaamhendrick2321]

Kamil Kamil what does having a small dick have to do with anything?🤔

[@bif91]

#9: Mind you, dinosaurs have gone What a finish.

[@rll1236]

+bif91 at 2:27. welcome ;)

[@rll1236]

found a comment i made last year. wow

[@wd940]

spoiler

[@wd940]

Not that everyone's not heard it before

[@Sean-uu9rg]

rokitup 5 years

[@Shadywolf09]

"Tell us something about Anne Frank." "She was in a cupboard." "She was hiding from the Nazis." "Well, isn't that the first place they'd look?" I died XD

[@joefraser9769]

So did Anne

[@Shadywolf09]

JOE FRASER Oh, you're terrible XD

[@bucwhovian8305]

I thought he was going to ask if they were playing hide and seek.

[@thedjinitiative8361]

+Buc Whovian bin laden was seeking at that point

[@Rpreds64]

ᏰᏗşιℓ so did anne frank

[@StrongBadSE]

I miss the part where he says: "They reckon in the future you'll be able to wake up and have a yoghurt that you can have a chat with."

[@stasjovb]

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN"

[@Evemeister12]

Well yoghurts are very cultured

[@Joe-rx5nt]

Black Mirror Season 6

[@siobhancrawley1487]

@@Evemeister12 Most yoghurts are pretty thick, to be fair.

[@pushthetempo2]

But you won't be able to understand the yoghurt cos it's Greek

[@wh0586]

I love how he can make Ricky so pissed off but then next second laugh hysterically

[@WHDRWN]

Why you look like bootleg me?

[@liammcooper]

"Karl, don't listen to him, he's patronizing you"

[@stasjovb]

Lol

[@Yanate1991]

"You mean there were people with their eyes facing into their head?" I actually shat my pants there.

[@TheShortbread123]

Dave Klonpenberg bit late yourself mate

[@igorjee]

I'd like to inquire about the current whereabouts and the well-being of your pants, sir.

[@atifkhan9035]

@@igorjee As would i

[@TonyEnglandUK]

@@atifkhan9035 Me too. We need updates.

[@maohadad6893]

He's not a character. He's a typical Manchester bloke!

[@Cubance]

My favourite not here is about a man with 2 heads that got run over by a car, "why wasn't he looking both ways?"

[@joebonnet4037]

Valid point though

[@SomethingCool51]

he'd need 3 heads to cross

[@charlieB586]

Troon Primary School Accepted 3 doors yesterday for delivery week 49 3 doors remaining, waiting for OPC to confirm TS 93 closers can be used Should be able to accept on Monday Heart of Gissing Tried to accept windows yesterday but capacity failed. Next available delivery date was 16.02.16. I have sent OPC request asking for delivery week 51. I should be able to accept on Monday as it has been second c

[@UltimateSenshi]

"there were no people about when dinosaurs were" "then who named them dinosaurs then"

[@menaceledennis]

😲😲😲

[@lapearl521]

Sir Richard Owen coined the term in the mid 1800s. They were known as dragons prior.

[@LTAD-xi6sw]

@@lapearl521 cheers Geoff

[@TonyEnglandUK]

There were a couple of cavemen knockin' about.

[@sh0werp0wer]

Came for "if it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage."

[@scaho]

Stayed for the rest

[@nathanfelsch8636]

My personal favorite that wasn’t mentioned was when He said His mom washed away an Ant Hill, and He watched a lone ant return later and it was devastated. 🐜 😂

[@LoveToCare126]

It was Suzanne that washed it away. Still a classic

[@salemgelidi3266]

it was suzanne, his gf 😂

[@viraleffectz]

Or the fly she kept as a pet or the bee she kept as a pet, or using a rock when one of her two birds died haha his mom is really unique

[@dontcare7086]

Suzanne and the ant that "sorta did a double take" 😂

[@siobhancrawley1487]

Mum*

[@Sheamus77]

Something could be totally not funny till Ricky Gervais starts laughing, then I laugh so hard I get tears....

[@jamesadcock5235]

nvrcrywlf haha most contagious laugh ever

[@robertsmith3672]

Steve tries to shut Rick up cos he knows Karl will make a real fool of himself if allowed to continue .

[@OhSnapItsErinSayle]

Karl is my favourite person everything he says is comedic gold

[@bethaknee93]

You missed "What are them things in Gremlins called?" Hahaha

[@miguelrodriquez7094]

That wasn't stupid because they aren't called gremlins in their original form.

[@Mads-hl8xj]

Mogwai😀

[@TonyEnglandUK]

Ricky: "There's a programme on tonight called _'The Truth About the Giant Squid"_ Karl: _"Who's been lying about it up til now?"_

[@RockLee679]

Mogwai

[@jacksdjfam]

To be fair he was actually referring to mogwai there and couldn't remember his name

[@MrMarkus1921]

LOL, Karl is actually a bright guy, and has a philosophical way of looking at the world.. Nothing is ever in black and white for him.. It's just the way he phrases his statements.. too funny!!

[@minesbanduk]

Karl is not a bright guy... He has a unique perception of the world but anyone who claims that a volcano should be plugged up is NOT intelligent. He's freaking hilarious though!

[@1y9b9b]

Ricardo H yeah but how do you know hes not joking

[@minesbanduk]

1y9b9b Well if he is, he's probably the greatest comic actor who has ever lived.

[@christinedavies3119]

*****

[@brokenwave6125]

Bright? How can a human being watch this video and conclude he is "bright"? Is he creative? Yes. But he is fucking stupid.

[@PastaBakeMilkShake]

"The dinosaurs are gone now" Holy shit my sides

[@stuggyy9435]

My side actually popped when he said that!

[@mewwew411]

Trauts-G ew

[@diggy2016]

What if we are the stupid ones and karl is a laughed at prophet trying to save the world

[@teetonball1]

I think he probably is, after all he CAN KICK HIS HEIGHT.

[@DumbIdeaPresentedStupidly]

Not sure if pushing lava intyo volcanos is not exactly a bright idea

[@LisaSimpson2]

Haha good point... he very well could be. How would we know?

[@leftrightoutcognitive8638]

Either way were fucked.

[@TonyEnglandUK]

@The skript skrawler lol _"Blessed are the meek, an' that"_

[@zannibars8252]

"if it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage" -Karl Pilkington

[@clayrose6797]

LMAO "Mind you, dinosaurs have gone".

[@OzzyJClarke]

He's not a character. He's a typical Manchester bloke!

[@AndeePandee]

OzzyJClarke I'm from Manchester and I'm offended. You're fucking right though 😂

[@Tomversal]

@@AndeePandee Why would that offend you, Karl's awesome

[@billymurray705]

@@AndeePandee if that offends you, we disown you

[@allovdem]

Yeah they're all as daft as a plank up there

[@Tomversal]

I'm still waiting for an answer

[@owainmeurig]

They probably laughed at Shakespeare when he invented words, I suspect foodage will be on the tip of the tongue of everyone in the future.

[@ishmaelforester9825]

Inventing or incorporating words was all the rage in Shakespeare's day: English needed words. Everybody was doing it. Even the spelling of names was loose in those days.

[@OldChildSupport]

Well man. It's 2019 and foodage is in the vocabulary of billions

[@lordpendleton1998]

2019 now, I've literally heard plenty of people say foodage.

[@doc-holliday-]

"I saw a bee have a heart attack"

[@WolfgangVonPoserkila]

6:51 greatest laugh ever

[@michaelb6865]

I just fell of my chair and laughed for 10 minutes

[@emweeriot1081]

Man moth should have been on this list!

[@gleam6370]

emweeriot if moths had eyes.......

[@damienleigh9943]

Moths are so relevant today. If this video was uploaded now, they would of included it.

[@jonnysupreme]

What's star wars got to do with anything????

[@damienleigh9943]

@@jonnysupreme Whats star wars got do with everything?

[@6guns431]

😂😂😂

[@Adrian-lm1vi]

"You know the presents Jesus got, we're those for his birthday or for Christmas?"

[@Adrian-lm1vi]

James Adcock How am I?

[@klatewilson5170]

lol I don't think he saw the quotation marks and he thought you were asking that seriously.

[@TonyEnglandUK]

+James Adcock hahaha you are thicker than Karl

[@monkeyonthebranch]

His birthday. Now we celebrate Christmas (celebrating Jesus' birthday) it's bullshit

[@jeaniebird999]

Adrian McCormack Makes you wonder if his thinking process is genius or otherwise, doesn't it?

[@josiahcole3186]

'If its a potato or a nut, its a foodage' 'PAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH'

[@trainmaster844]

+Josiah Cole Ricky's laugh is what makes that so damn funny! X'D

[@Yophillips3272]

"I could eat a knob at night" should be number 1.

[@filipzawistowski4390]

That wasn't a stupid thing he said, just funny.

[@PurplePotato-gr5jk]

​The title says stupidest/funniest.

[@hannah_collins_music]

Whenever I feel down or sad, I listen to this and it makes the world better 😌 Laughter is magic. I love Karl. 🥰😂

[@benzel5659]

Ricky's laugh is genuinely wonderful. Unmatched.

[@RustinChole]

God I’m so glad I found this show. And that Karl doesn’t mind getting laughed at for hours.

[@UKDrillTV.]

"but isn't that the first place they would look?" brilliant 😂

[@619Gotenks]

"Yeah... what about acorns and that, though?" "Elephants, yeah." I love this man.

[@pattypalermo3891]

They are hilarious!! You have to give Karl credit for having good self esteem and confidence to speak his mind even if it's quite twisted.

[@WindowsXPFrog]

"mind you, dinosaurs have gone" :')

[@cefballer101]

He's using his fables.

[@dudsteppa]

Cheeky freak of the week Karl “there was a Siamese lad with 2 heads who got run over by horse and cart back in the 1700s” Ricky “first of all they’re 2 people conjoined twins. Not a lad with 2 heads and also why would you telling me they got run over be interesting?” Karl “argh whatever forget it” Ricky “no go on tell me?” Karl “well I just thought why wasn’t he looking both ways?”

[@TonyEnglandUK]

I'd never heard that one before, just listened to it on YT and omg, it's superb

[@PaulSquares]

It's a funny mix of Karl's honestly misinformed half baked ideas with a small speckle of oddly refreshing savant like perspectives on stuff against RIcky's arrogant and stale concluded perspective.

[@tb7667]

1:12 I think Steve initially didn’t understand why 9 made no sense.

[@dougrogan379]

Ricky's laugh makes me crack up every fucking time

[@kylerobinson1805]

i know its amazing

[@rumbleshakes]

I think you missed two things: the doppelganger one with him not knowing if he was the real Karl or not, and the one about Karl throwing babies out of the window and they wouldn't be harmed.

[@FutureAbe]

+Rumble Shakes and the shadow pushing people off their bikes

[@scerpalman]

+Abe Grimm and to think, it wasn't causing any trouble before that!

[@miguelrodriquez7094]

The doppleganger one wasn't really stupid, he's right, both would think they are the real thing and you'd second guess constantly.

[@kylewhitehead1684]

Karl's point about the doppelganger is actually quite a common philosophical thought experiment. If both individuals are adamant that they are the real Karl and have the same memories how could they know which was the real Karl? That's what Karl was trying to say but he didn't get it across very well and he started rambling about them both wanting to sit in the same chair.

[@filipzawistowski4390]

I actually think the Doppelganger thing was one of the more intelligent things he has said.

[@r.m.l2665]

its a foodage

[@lukemate2783]

“Mind you dinosaurs have gone”. This should be a famous expression up there with “when in Rome”

[@ehpunka]

"Mind you, dinosaurs have gone". One of the many confirmations that Karl was a good choice.

[@daijo2948]

😂😂😂 love Karl

[@hyperionman420]

There are so many occasions when Karl is on the _verge_ of making a great point, until he completely swerves off and says something ridiculously​ stupid.

[@TheSamBlonde]

I love how Karl's mind works, I would be as obsessed with questioning him as Gervais, Also Gervais never needs to tell a joke, his laugh alone has me crying with laughter. Just brilliant. Wish these guys had a chat show on TV now.

[@Wonmanbanned]

I met a fair few Karl’s growing up in West Yorkshire. Some of the cricket lads I played with were this funny consistently. It’s not what they said it’s how they said it.

[@SiegePerilousEsauMaltomite]

"Put it in the 'oles, the 'oles er there 'lready, jus push i'oll in."

[@douglaskalberg8899]

His "foodage" quote has got stuck in my head since I heard it many years ago, it will come back when I hear the word "food".

[@marysmith4934]

he is so much natural and I like his way of speaking

[@MrJaynash]

Just simply putting these 3 In a room, is 10 times funnier than anything else on the planet in my opinion.

[@EmeralFrost]

It's foodage! I fucking died laughing. Karl is amazing.

[@hannesjakobsson765]

same!

[@UserName-br5zu]

“Mind you, dinosaurs have gone” 🤣🤣

[@ValhallaBeckons]

While my personal list may have been quite different, I love that at least one "play a record" was included in this. I can't even count how many times I've listened to everything these three have done together. It's fucking hilarious; all of it.

[@AbrasionUK]

"keep a couple, fill the rest in" fucking hell lmao

[@djlexikk5247]

he is a genius

[@siwooot]

LOL Karl Pilkington got number 10 from an episode of Futurama, but he thinks he 'read it somewhere'

[@4exgold]

"if she gets that book out...." lol ricky, brilliant

[@papatorr3669]

"Anne Frank was in a cupboard" reminds me that historical research showed that she didn't write the diary, her father and/or uncle did.

[@itsconnorstime]

"Mind you, dinosaurs have gone."

[@ShaunJames596]

Ricky: "What physical, scientific error has he made here?" Steve: "I can't begin to explain it" Steve had no idea what Ricky was getting at and didn't want to admit it.

[@mantispr3ys]

I'm only 30. But I keep coming back to Karl Pilkington. Some of the best stuff I've heard...ever. No amount of time, knowledge or discussion past, present and future can erase the magnitude of this man and his vocalized thoughts. More please and thanks hahahaha

[@dom85ross]

‘Only 30’ you old now girl! Probably 31 now as well. Damn

[@jesuschristcunt8469]

32

[@bazglsgw1208]

“If I have to I will kick a panda in the bollocks” was one of my favs!

[@him050]

“I’m using my fables” “Use your brain” Absolute class

[@Paradiselost316]

I reckon if he took an IQ test he'd score really high in some things and really low in others. He just thinks differently

[@colbimitchell]

"high iq" thinks we are going to weigh down the earth by making to much stuff lol are you kidding

[@ChrisTessmer]

He took an IQ test for MENSA. Karl scored an 81 and their national average is 100.

[@ChrisTessmer]

Lol yes he is.

[@00Phat12345]

SickGrower he probably got bored and sick of it half way through, gave up and decided he'd rather go eat a pack of munchies.

[@brokenwave6125]

He would bomb an IQ test. The guy is an idiot. Why do so many people confuse creativity with intelligence?

[@Filling_blanks]

I'm so unbelievably glad you put the iceberg/ jack daniels one. I love it so much

[@Nubbiecakes]

Man i didn't realize why people always talk about this guy. Now i know

[@mrsvanashe3636]

someone who is not studied- this is the intelligence he brings. If no one ever read a book and was surmising reality based on his own observations... he is the most intelligent individual I have ever encountered.

[@AbrasionUK]

lost it when he said "mind you, dinosaurs have gone"

[@gonenativenation]

Karl you are not an idiot, you are inquisitve as a child and I love your point of view. You don't kick around with your opinion, in fact you get right to it, you live rawwww, love your shows keep it up I will always watch!

[@bremensims6086]

The thing about Karl is that he's not always dumb. He's just too gullible and sucks at explaining

[@Stewie4guvna]

I think if KP was simply better informed, he would have some really interesting ideas. He has a unique way of looking at the world.

[@asef698]

"Well who gave the dinosaurs their names then" 😂😂😂😂

[@Annaliese247]

Karl's a natural...he doesnt need Ricky and Steve...

[@TallSilentGuy]

True - just about any two human beings on Earth would serve as effective foils for Karl.

[@JohnKobaRuddy]

The family quote at number 3 is gold

[@jodu626]

I'm using me fables.

[@sophiefrancis8295]

My favourite was when he said I have always wanted to kick a duck up the arse

[@sharonready-lang6060]

I can’t stop watching this whole series ...every night .....staying up till 2am . Absolutely fabulous .....love Karl.

[@GeoffreyBronson]

Karl's already walking a tightrope when he's recalling facts and it didn't help that Ricky and Steve were throwing tomatoes at him constantly. Best. Radio. Ever.

[@falcon81701]

This guys is hilarious. Absolutely love his character on Derek.

[@vilentman111]

I’ve never known anyone who takes so much things at face value. It’s actually quite impressive

[@upturnedblousecollar5811]

I love how he brings reason to absurd situations. Even here he makes sure the monkeys typewriters have got _"loads of ink in an' that"_ and when the dinosaurs were around there was a still a couple of cavemen _"knockin' about"._

[@legacy_292]

“Mind you, the dinosaurs are gone”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@epfilmsyt]

I just want to see Karl Pilkington and Gavin Free (rooster teeth) make a show together.

[@SophieCottail]

+EliteProductions brilliant. they'd be two beautiful accents to listen to together.

[@Kila-Innova]

Gavin is often right though, he just explains it horribly.

[@louiswhellans6545]

headlight fluid

[@epfilmsyt]

+manchestersboy karl usually makes a good point too, both just explain it horribly xD

[@assistantmagus5213]

"Wot if your legs..... Didn't know they were legs?" "Well your legs wouldn't know they were legs because they don't think. Would your brain, know it's a Brian though?"

[@pixelmentia]

It must suck when you're dead serious and people constantly laugh at you.

[@siobhancrawley1487]

In fairness, Karl was doing a lot of doing a lot of pee-taking in return. There's so much Northern humour in his stuff.

[@simoncenteno2755]

He's not Stupid and He's not Genius, He isn't Dumb and He isn't Smart, HE IS ENTERTAINMENT.

[@DavefromWork]

Oh Karl, how boring this world would be without people like you.

[@jakehixon4073]

Mind you dinosaurs are gone now 😂

[@PumaThePony]

My favourite Karl quote is "A dog has got human eyes"

[@00Phat12345]

It's a good point, who DID give the dinosaurs their name?

[@clper8646]

I love Ricky's laugh so much😂

[@lrishRebeI]

Karl will be in the history books as KARL THE philosopher!:-)

[@DrunkenCoward1]

Not really. That would be an insult to philosophers.

[@connorovington6013]

The Drunken Coward All great Philosophers were considered stupid; insane at some point. Something's only ever a truly good idea in retrospect.

[@billyjean5934]

Honestly id say no.10 the best here in ur jack Daniel's uson me fables gets me everytime

[@turbotegs2102]

Use your brain instead!

[@vincentvega9863]

"It's not just the holes [volcanos] they've actually left the lava everywhere" That's me done, I can't possibly go on 😂😂😂

[@siobhancrawley1487]

How inconsiderate of those volcanoes not to tidy up after themselves.

[@meh.7640]

the best thing about this is ricky's hysterical laugh! how did this guy even survive long enough to grow up?

[@TonyEnglandUK]

He's got Plato and Socrates looking down on him.

[@ironryan36]

‘If it’s a potato or nut, it’s a foodage’ is the funniest thing anyone has ever said. 😆

[@jaylinsa]

I love Ricky Gervais' laugh. It cracks me up every time