Tosh.0 - Stolen Valor

Veterans make videos exposing people who wear military uniforms without having served in the armed forces.
About Tosh.0:
Tosh.0 is a weekly topical series hosted by comedian Daniel Tosh that delves into all aspects of the internet, from the ingenious to the absurd to the medically inadvisable. Through segments like Video Breakdown, 20 Seconds on the Clock and Web Redemption, Tosh has established himself as the preeminent expert on exhibitionist weirdos, injurious idiots and the best worst things on the web.
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Tosh.0 airs Tuesdays at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

[@tosh]

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[@tedkaczynski3126]

Bruh

[@bigchungus3589]

216 DUI brother?

[@Lillpixeychic]

Tosh.0 this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in years!! This shit is the best!!

[@jaybrooks1098]

Stolen valor!!!

[@jasonyoung7378]

What season is this from?

[@vincentramirez6967]

I was accused of stolen Valor when I was 14 during Halloween. I was wearing Halo UNSC marine camo uniform. I told him he was wrong. I finished the campaign.

[@mattzed11]

STOLEN VALOUR

[@grassbackyard3825]

Thank you for your service.

[@1inchpunisher715]

Thank you for your service

[@halfblooddutchprince]

Bet the person accusing you couldn't beat The Library on easy

[@Acidlib]

🫡🫡🫡🫡🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾

[@kylewallace298]

"People are gonna think I made this shit up Ronnie." That killed me. 😂

[@littlemissink]

...I snorted. I'm not even ashamed.

[@huntzkush]

furreals dayum that guy was more amused than angry.

[@CUtTHrOaT_GHOST]

I went through the comments first and didn't know what you were talking about, nearly pissed myself

[@coolguy02536]

Good riddance

[@mst_angel437]

Kyle Wallace me too 😂😂😂

[@Wolf-os9yu]

“People are going to think I’m making this shut up Ronnie!!” Lmao

[@xxXthekevXxx]

Shit*

[@jcarson3721]

That dude sounded like he used to be a drill instructor for a few Ronnies back in the day.

[@JSmedic1]

+Ricky Bobby ... Ahahaha! Yeah! Ronnie's life will never be the same.

[@WinkLinkletter]

What nobody was ever going to believe was that Ronnie was an actual soldier. Congrats to our troop on berating a mental deficient.

[@thefogisgone3662]

@@WinkLinkletter awhhh. I'd put money on it you're a liberal. They tend to take the side of the person who's actually in the wrong. Never fails.

[@lilyachty8753]

“That war was over 200 years ago” “Listen I’m just trying to get some strange” 💀

[@jmsmilin]

Butters knows whats up

[@player1ready664]

On the queeng

[@LordAngryGopnik]

Strange for the queen

[@misteryummyearth1055]

So hilarious. The shouting of stolen valour equally funny

[@misteryummyearth1055]

Sleeves ARE SO DISGUSTING

[@boneless9784]

What rank were you in the army. Me: Master prestige

[@ZoobaMaFooProDuction]

juan sanchez Me: 50?

[@AngusYoung4100]

+juan sanchez Distinguished Master Guardian..my friend who has died on the battlefield was Gold Nova llll

[@TheFunkCrusader]

+juan sanchez i actually laughed at this

[@jki649]

Me: Master Chief

[@AlastorDarkAngel]

11th prestige

[@SW.Productions]

“What’s your rank?” “Sniper” He would’ve been better off saying nothing

[@unclecreepy7025]

“Classified”. Whenever you don’t know the answer, say the answer is classified.

[@PlumbDrumb]

Name off your favorite Team Fortress 2 class.

[@PabloCruise91]

10th prestige

[@fuzzyapplepie6940]

Shoulda just said "private."

[@theaceofspades485]

When he says E3 he meant the video game expo.

[@jessedaconta9117]

Ronnie was ahead of his time. One team, one fight. Just missing Space Force and Navy.

[@johngalt6752]

The USMC is still Department of Navy...

[@antongoddard7102]

Poor Coast Guard lol

[@sidvyas8549]

@@antongoddard7102 RIP...

[@justaninja1]

😂😂😂 Space Force

[@russBwright]

John Galt True and hilarious

[@dethmetal1396]

"Where's your British accent?" "You Wanka!"

[@DovahBrony]

"People are gonna think I made this shit up, Ronnie!" I fucking lost it

[@thegreatmilandoon4427]

Yusgvir ya you can tell he got a kick out of that too

[@bl4ck0ut22]

Yusgvir That sounds like something a drill would say.

[@14losee]

Yusgvir by far the best part of the whole clip.

[@accordingto27]

Yusgvir That had me dying

[@MajCyric]

Yusgvir He was all ate up like a soup sandwich and trying to eat it with a fork..

[@PxGamerHD]

"What's your rank?" "Sniper." I'm gone

[@coolguy02536]

Come back

[@SharpElement]

Ugly Ass *Views profile sees playlist *4k favorites next playlist why the fuck is there a 5k limit?

[@brandond8728]

Pixelon no I think he said.... "sniper?"

[@hammeringhank5271]

Lol

[@Carrier2501]

That shit was hilarious. I laughed when he said that too.

[@CraneFast]

I know a guy who was accused of stolen valor, because he was wearing a hat with a military-like patch on it. The patch was for the ship Nostromo from the movie Alien, and somebody asked him who he served with. Confused, guy said nobody, then he was asked why he was wearing a military patch if he didn’t serve. He laughed saying oh no this is from a movie. The accuser said yeah right buddy, and then said stolen valor.

[@CoDisafishy]

@Jim Dandy Why do names matter on the internet? Lol, it's not like we'll ever meet them.

[@jackbowers7889]

That is stolen valor because Ellen Ripley was the lone survivor on board that ship in 2122.

[@MrDumbElite]

@Jim Dandy Lol did you want to to say "A guy I knew named Gary Johnson, age 34, 5"7, address: 4673 Walker Blvd, Relation: friend, Blood type A negative" You knowing him name LITERALLY adds nothing.

[@House.Of.Pain.]

Jim Dandy damn Jim where you at do you have a rebottle

[@anarchy2118]

And I know a guy who made up a bullshit story about stolen valor.any guesses who?

[@chrisp2481]

when he said "go fasters" you know he's the real deal.

[@Milkersdegreat2]

My thought exactly, lmao

[@thomaslibby6094]

me too

[@kylekilcrease590]

Alright I've been in 4 years (army) wtf are go fasters lol

[@chrisp2481]

Kyle Kilcrease sneakers. they make your ass go faster. in USMC boot camp they call them that.

[@Milkersdegreat2]

@@kylekilcrease590 tennis shoes

[@hazmatt3250]

"What rank are you?" "....Sniper...?" See you done messed up right there son.

[@ThePlayaSheepUnionlemonparty]

+Michael Sark It's actually spelt AfGaston, STOLEN FUCKING VALOR

[@michaelsark1570]

***** dude i fought i neitnom.

[@ThePlayaSheepUnionlemonparty]

Michael Sark Oh shit sorry, mad respect bro.

[@michaelsark1570]

***** ya u idiot respect me u stolen valorerer

[@hazmatt3250]

This made my night. Thank y'all for your service.

[@ninjafromabove]

"people are gonna think I made this shit up Ronnie!" haha to be honest I wouldn't have believed it either! lol

[@loot7206]

best part

[@montesforeman5079]

I died at that part XD

[@jacencade4019]

@@alexjohnson3031 autism does not excuse what he did #autismawareness

[@jacencade4019]

If an autistic kid goes to the hood in black face yelling the n word He should still know damn well why he can't do that The thing about autism is the social taboos most get without direction autistic people miss. But when it's explicity displayed DONT DO IT, a person who is autistic won't do it. Instead what you are looking at is defiance disorder which is Since these are the rules im gonna break them. It's okay that you are a lazy bandwagoning psudeointelectual though.

[@AWmemeifornia]

because it was fake lol

[@TheChefShipwreckinAlaska]

What’s your rank? Tank

[@jcarson3721]

RANK THE TANK! RANK THE TANK!

[@michelfrancois5358]

@Damien Daniels I was an A-10

[@The_Gallowglass]

Warrior Priest

[@trekkienzl2862]

What's your rank? Me: Desk.

[@deoncarlton9096]

Really , my rank is AC 130

[@NaveedAliShahRealtorNVAR]

"What are the real soldiers even fighting for if not for our freedom to impersonate them!?" Lmaooooooooooo

[@DocJamesH]

A constant massive variety of cereal.

[@clintburford6568]

I hate stolen valor but omg that was funny.

[@licktin1091]

I couldn’t say anything after that. He has a point lol

[@DD-ok1md]

@@clintburford6568 do you know what stolen valor is? The actual legal definition? No, didn't think so. Not one example in this video constitutes the crime.

[@clintburford6568]

@@DD-ok1md I do know what it is. Dont know why you're being a dumbass about it. Feeling guilty, poser?

[@JW-qu8fj]

I love the dude who said "People are gonna think I'm making this up RONNIE" Like Ronnie is just an inconvenience to this guy's day because now he has to figure out how she's gonna explain this shit Hahahaha.

[@PK120607]

+J Fleming Yeah that was awesome....

[@yluj0407]

+J Fleming Great observation LMFAO. The guy who said he had noting else to wear was absolutley priceless LMFAO!!! I cn't even stop laghing to type this out!!! He accidently dressed to look like a soldier - from head to toe LOL! As an english major, i normally don't let any error in my post, but I have to recoup from this LOL.

[@adamriffe3520]

+J Fleming what rank are you Ronnie?uhhhh...my rank?yes your rank.uhhhhhh........sniper?

[@SSNReactorOperator]

+J Fleming I think that was the one that was a skit done for comedy.

[@vertigo0331]

+J Fleming No one deals with fuckheads quite like the military. We don't even have to touch them. Most people don't know how to deal with someone getting in their face and for us, its our bread and butter. God I miss that shit...

[@scootcha]

I'm a retired MARSOC Army Ranger Delta Navy Seal Sniper Astronaut.

[@JayPhilly215]

Hahaha, nice

[@shawnsilston438]

brilliant job son

[@LvL1henchman]

Don't forget you are a sapper 007

[@mcrayfourd]

I believe ya

[@mvf80]

I got you beat brother! I was a fighter pilot during the civil war! Julius Cesar was my c.o.

[@theyearwas1473]

I can vouch for Ronnie he brought an aircraft carrier to assist me in Iraq, he then piloted the millennium falcon to provide air support. Ronnie saved ten men that day.

[@hughjanus1135]

What’s your rank ? Me: Apache attack helicopter

[@xIkkito]

Did you just assumed my Rank ? how Rude! xDDD

[@weirdo24-7]

Chit, you got me. LMFAO

[@titilyhoho]

Hugh Janus fuck u

[@SlickkGamer96]

Bruh ! 😂😂

[@Yourlibrarian]

I actually sexually identify as an Apache attack helicopter. So if you don’t remove this comment I will write a blog and you will have 9 *VERY* angry people coming after you.

[@htx_asmodeus]

Back when i was a marine in vietnam, i was 2 kills away from my chopper gunner but i lost connection to host.

[@AnthonyGarcia-wb8xv]

lol

[@thechuck896]

well played sir lol

[@nationalcitysycho]

I hate when people make fun of serious shit like this....FUCK do you know how hard it is to be a SGT? I TAKES WEEKS i got ATTACK DOGS earlier....LMAO

[@drednok3569]

lmfao dude I just spat out my coffee reading your comment hahaha.

[@Shadow_Wolf_190]

hey are vietnam vets still traumatized by that event

[@traviswhitcomb4967]

The British didn't use matchlocks during the revolutionary war, but flintlocks. I call stolen valor on that guy.

[@b.fridge1723]

Awesome. just awesome

[@joshsharp3955]

Nah that guy is clearly legit

[@trentallred4326]

Travis Whitcomb but he called out every other thing. And that was a matchlock not a flintlock.

[@shake5121]

That black guy at the beginning was Wesley Snipes method acting.

[@sshelton1433]

I dropped a bunch of old uniform items at Goodwill. I might be partially to blame for this.

[@chonchburger4578]

"people are gonna think I made this shit up ronnie" 😂the way he said that haha

[@yaboiz1953]

Haha my dad's rank was pistol. I died when this guy said "sniper"

[@PMMillard]

doesn't beat the rank of tanker prestige 4.

[@yaboiz1953]

+PMMillard Windowlicker hah

[@markanthony1004]

The teenage Casual That's a great rank to have. Screw my E-5 rank I want to be at the sniper rank.

[@bradenleavitt5607]

A sniper is not a gun fucktard.

[@james238]

Italian Stallion lmao

[@g3tr3kdkid4]

"people are gonna think I made this shit up Ronnie"

[@aliennotion2876]

"Where's your name tape?" "I'm the famous Unknown Soldier."

[@VagueMemory]

It was all down to Ronnie.. Alone in a bird's nest with a .22 and two thousand rounds of ammo.. The coca cola cans never knew what hit them.

[@KevinRodriguez-ct2sd]

He still wakes up in a cold sweat to this day after having nightmares about his service.

[@iambilly610]

Vending machines trigger his flashbacks. Once you see the brown mist you never forget.

[@robertramirez8340]

+Kyle Modesitt really? how old are you idiot?

[@kylem5576]

I'm 13, and I'm not a child molester. My dad pretty much ruined the navy for me. I'm more of an air force guy myself. But thank you guys for pointing out how rude the comment was. I'm sorry.

[@jacobmoore6252]

+Kyle Modesitt my dad ruined the Navy for me too. so Marines it is.

[@quarteracreadventures855]

A kid came to my door dressed as a soldier last Halloween wanting free candy. STOLEN VALOR!!

[@carsonbecker2291]

I bet that kid was not even in the army

[@dom8184]

carson becker huh i don’t know maybe...........

[@Danger_Noodle]

Sandra Noneofyourbusiness lmao

[@dootdoot1828]

Sandra Noneofyourbusiness 911 likes...

[@kristinak4188]

Sandra Noneofyourbusiness i know right. these stolen valor guys r fucken annoying. maybe falls under two wrongs dont make a right.

[@bobbydigital8037]

"You do realize you're wearing a British uniform right"? I WAS A SPY HAHAHA

[@FaydsterTV]

“Didn’t have anything else to put on” So you put on a full uni with a cover and all? Like bruh just own up and say you’re fake.

[@HO-bndk]

He even has the boots too.

[@codyhawley5234]

@@HO-bndk Honestly that gets me more than the half ass patches and the cover. Those things are uncomfortable as hell.

[@djfuzzut]

I wear a kfc uniform when I go work at my job at mcdonalds

[@larry_2000]

Living on the edge

[@ThaSytrox]

Jonathan Cortez stolen valor!

[@Mpower330csl]

You have shamed Col. Harland Sanders...all for a clown

[@digfire1]

Jonathan Cortez stolen shame

[@horsekiller68]

Mpower330csl ROTFLMAO

[@pauldg837]

I often wear a McDonald's uniform in public even though I never worked there. My wife tells me I will get busted one day, but with all the admiring glances I get, it's a small price to pay. 😂

[@mattojeda1491]

That is fucking hilarious. I'm dying. LMAO

[@shydreamguyman4098]

They just want your fries Had it been a Burger King uniform ? they could have been looking for a whopper

[@Laffy1345]

@@shydreamguyman4098 😂😂😂

[@fedupamerican5656]

lol

[@TheTeufelhunden68]

Thank you. My first BIG laugh of the day.

[@themastema1189]

"What's your rank?" *sniper* and in my mind I thought he was gonna say "para-tard"

[@heartlandmodding2315]

I’m sniper first class, 1st betallion marines/army, 5-star navy ranger, 7 tours to afgha... afghan... the Middle East. Oh and I’m also a 27th degree black belt in everything. And a ninja. ...And a samurai...

[@robertstokes661]

Ah yes, the Airforce Pararescue team Delta Seal Sappers. Alpha company, Commanded by Colonel General Smith-Jackson.

[@mikusoxlongius]

Kraplakistan

[@katyungodly]

Don’t forget shogun mongol king

[@benimaru06]

"People are gonna think I made this shit up, Ronnie"

[@benimaru06]

I fucking lost it there

[@rodneyparisien1997]

"People are gonna think I made this shit up Ronnie!"

[@jacknakash2677]

"Where's your MP Badge?" "In my car" lmao

[@grawlix19xx54]

I ASKED MY NEIGHBOR, he served in Vietnam. All his kids serve his wives kids serve. I showed him this and he said he was more embarrassed of the vets blowing up.

[@johngalt6752]

BS. I can't imagine any vet would be disappointed in another brother or sister defending the integrity of the armed forces. It is not because WE wore the uniform, it is because men and women gave their lives in those uniforms for disrespectful people to have a better life.

[@daveschwartz5893]

@@johngalt6752 couldn't put it any better.

[@Robert53area]

@@johngalt6752 not gonna lie, I feel the same way and have had brothers die in the uniform. But I'm not going to waste my time blowing up on them. It's really not worth my time. I'm just going to laugh and keep going, same reason why I laughed when tosh said nobody wants to pretend to be in the navy I laughed because he already showed someone in NWUs lol but it was still funny as is these pretenders, because they just aren't good at it. Had someone tell me before they were in Fallujah Afghanistan. I laughed because they heard someone's story and used it. I went to Afghanistan 3 times, I just dont waste my time anymore on civilians, they dont know or appreciate or understand us. We are different for a reason. Find inner peace my friend and everything else just seems easy.

[@AfroGaz71]

@@Robert53area Your not really different though. You were just trained into being different. It's the same for most government institutions. Fire Service, Police, Prison inmate, etc. You become institutionalized to the point that you can only really communicate with those that share your position.

[@Robert53area]

@@AfroGaz71 not really institutionalized either because I don't agree with everyone I'll n the military. I'm just more laid back than others, I been under enough fire to point were very little things bother me anymore, nothing is that serious anymore unless it is life or death. I laugh and use alot of sarcasm, I just mess with people that pretend to be in the military it's more fun. Screaming and yelling about it does nothing but making them feel like an idiot, that is just priceless.

[@harambejr.9258]

I served 3 terms in the Costa Rican war...my rank was Colonel Sanders

[@Laffy1345]

@Nick don't forget his pin number😂

[@Jambuc829]

You mean tours

[@Chip-Chapley]

@@Jambuc829 he meant terms.

[@Jambuc829]

Chip Chapley Well it’s called tours.

[@Chip-Chapley]

@@Jambuc829 i know what its called but he meant terms, if you don't get it you go figure out on r/whooosh

[@daddyshipx.j7614]

It's over the top. I had one youngster try to play "stolen valor" with me because I couldn't rename a company sized unit I was in 26 years ago. The thing is with newbie vets, every generation of new combat vets feels like theirs was the onliest one to fight a war. I've been an infantryman, aka grunt, aka bullet bait, I served 24 years doing just that. I did two invasions, and fired weapons at human beings. Afterwards, I worked many days in the hot sun collecting shattered bodies. But that experience doesn't define me. I am much more than that. A lot of guys hang every ounce of self esteem they've got on that experience. It was a job. Like being a plummer or a carpenter or a brick layer. I enjoyed it, it paid nicely and made it so that all my kids went to college without paying a dime for tuition. I was well taken care of, well compensated, I am well off now. No thanks required. It was my job. Now then. As far as the impersonators, I look at them as bad comedy, silly, redundant jokes. Who knows and who cares why they do it or what need the meet by doing it. Their psycho issues are "not my circus, not my monkey." They aren't a threat to me, they are only people to be pittied or laughed at. I don't confront them because the honor of the dead I knew, and the living I knew, lives in my mind and in my heart, if that honor was fragile perhaps then these imposters might threaten it. But it's not. It's stainless, peerless, flawless. It exists in another realm that the likes of these cannot get into. The bond I share with the living and the dead is unspoken. It says that I will do whatever it takes to preserve that honor, no matter the cost, when it is threatened. But these sophmoric fools are a threat to it as are the opinions of ants are a threat to me. When people, typically males, make my acquaintence and eventually find out about my past they will very quickly begin to explain why they didn't serve, or how they were going to serve and circumstances beyond their control kept them from serving. As if they are ashamed. Don't be. I am not a bricklayer, I am not a cake decorator. When I meet a bricklayer or cake decorator I don't go out of my way to explain why I didn't choose their life. So don't explain why you chose not to serve. You're not a Soldier, so you didn't serve. There is no shame in that. Be who you are. Don't make excuses for it. Take pride in your decisions and polish your talents to the greatest extent that you can. Do the most with the gifts God gave you. I guess that's the only thing that I'd wish these imposters, and people in general would realize and do. Earn the sacrfice of the dead by living life at your best.

[@adameves5970]

+Joe X. Finally a humble soldier. Didnt recognize you at first since you werent begging for attention like most. Seems like a lot of these kids these days go thru one round, then devote the rest of their life to talk up how important, brave, respected, etc they are, earned or not. They are indeed sophomoric, thinking theyre the only ones to ever participate in war training, and usually lack respect for what the whole organization stands for, and make a mockery of it. Thousands upon thousands of previous soldiers are surely rolling in their grave over the way these soldiers conduct themselves these days, in and out of service, turning it into a complete misrepresentation of what honor and valor even mean. To today's generation - You signed up for a job that takes anybody... Want a medal? Well, guess what, if you do well they will give you one! Acknowledgement complete, now quit begging for attention.

[@w6467]

+Adam Eves until you've been shot at, shut up.

[@doms.6701]

+Will Hoh Does a drive by count?

[@daddyshipx.j7614]

You’re right. The guy, a recent veteran, was banging my ex-wife. While living in my house with her, he found my old BDU’s and hajji modified DCU’s with their CIB’s and ABN and AASLT badges on them - I'd given them to my son. BF saw pictures my children had of me at AWG. My ex,bless her vacant soul, she thought it would be a fun thing to bring her new FB to the custody exchange for visitation. Where he proceeded to get out of the car and badger me in front of my children. Asking me what company I was in during Airborne School, frankly that was 1990 and I don’t friggen remember. I still can’t tell you what company I was in. It was a gay ass course that was some of the lamest waste of time I ever experienced in the Army. I could have walked the a.m. p.t. runs faster than we ran them. If that was the be all and end all of my 24 years of service, I suppose I would remember some horseshit like what company I was in at Airborne school, especially when at that exact time and place, I thought - “get the kids in the car and get out of here.” Why? You see when there’s a divorce case pending, attorney’s just love to label the big “scary” combat vet “crazy” and a “threat.” So any argument, any physical altercation, let alone one in front of the kids will get twisted all kinds of ways into a really damaging event. But I’m sure some other wise guys “wouldn’t put up with that shit!” and “would’ve punched his face off!” Good luck with that. I wasn’t even wearing any Army swag. I have no Army stickers on my rig, no gun stickers, no complete ERB or ribbon stack with skill badges plastered to my back window or tailgate. It’s nobody’s business that I served, I don’t need a sticker to provide a constant announcement for all mankind on my car. Humility is a lost art form. Let it go. “Claim!??!” I don’t know who the fk you think you are. You don’t know me. But that’s exactly what happened. Some f*g, tryna look cool for p*ssy that looks like a tire track through a mud puddle. Since then, they got into a domestic, I filed for custody based on her arrest, and now my kids live with me, while she has supervised visitation once a month. Shit works out. Yeah, often times the youngsters who just returned from deployment act as if they were the only ones to ever be deployed. I was there once. It fades. Don’t hang your hat on it, I know I did when I first came back, many years ago, but that was a huge mistake and massive waste of time. Guys are hanging on to that as some kind of defining event, you’re only limiting your life. Some idiot dressed up in ACU’s or wearing class A uniform to the local supermarket or Applebee’s to get a free meal is a circus freak and not a threat to me or the people I served with. He’s trash. Is my life so low that I’ve got time to sort out some crazy person with self esteem issues? No! My time is important. As I write this I’m aware that even responding to the douchebag that wants to call me out, is a weakness in my own practice of humility. I have caved to emotion… Anytime you want to compare ERB’s, I’m down. Just PM me your AKO and we can do the dick dance. But you better be having a personal commendation letter from one of the Joint Chiefs, a few G.O. commendation letters, MSM’s, Distinguished Pistol Shot, an EIB, a couple CIB’s and 1-1 NCOER as a rifle company 1SG, in addition to the stupid skill badges, there’s more but you get the idea. There are plenty of guys who did more, I’m sure, but I’m no former E4 tryna hold on to former glory due to an unaccomplished career. I don’t know anyone that’s ever done what I accomplished in the Army. Instead we have an Army full of stupid c*nts running around being the AR670-1 police. I don’t miss the lil f*ggots that make isht like this a major issue. I’m over it. Uber G*y. So glad I’m retired.

[@blockbustervhs]

I wore my PT uniform through out the day because I forgot a change of clothes. But yeah I felt like he wanted to yell stolen valor at me too.

[@bobbyking6811]

"I'm just trying to get some strange" LMAO

[@alexfinn7989]

If a meatball sandwich can be called a hero, so can this guy... 😂 spit out my water

[@freddieari3592]

I once saw an Afganistan war movie, so I'm pretty much a war veteran myself

[@Leon-zu1wp]

amen

[@360SIC]

same

[@cjthememeguy6571]

American Sniper doesnt give you PTSD. Barney gives you PTSD

[@JoseLara-sk8ij]

Thank you for your service

[@kenyaswallow5127]

Oh yea, I watched 4 Vietnam war movies. The horrors that I have seen. I was spit on when I got back from the living room.

[@Captainkebbles1392]

as a scout underwater submarine sniper with jump wings this bothers me immensely

[@cyberus1438]

Aw man, the recruiters didn't tell me that submarine sniper was open again

[@Captainkebbles1392]

Well you know it's classified and shit but only I can talk about it because I want to impress people but if you ask me about it I can't tell you anything My favorite excuse

[@dumpster_squad1590]

Aw man submarine sniper is almost as good as tail gunner on a space shuttle

[@williamsullivan3726]

"people are going to think i made this shit up ....Ronnie..." lol

[@jAYROCCS1x]

so the only person w/o a uniform got slapped ?? 😂

[@jamesrhodes78]

lol....yes, I didn't even think about that, until I read this.....😆

[@blragh]

Assaulted*

[@michaelmorgan6905]

I seen that video a long time ago and he was claiming to be a navy seal in front of a group of army rangers and they called his bluff

[@johntx3016]

I think I'm going to wear my old confederate uniform, because you know I fought in the war of 1812 alongside Patton , while charging through the 39th parallel. Needless to say we took that hill on Omaha beach where the Hajis counterstrike with heavy mustard gas that resulted in a black hawk down. In deed it was a Red dawn after the 7 years war was over. Alot of brave cost guard infantry men died that faithful day. I too felt the pain and anguish as I was awarded the magenta heart as being a member of the sniper seal ranger squadron elite of cooks.

[@2012EJRobinson]

that was hilarious. Especially the CG Infantry😂😂😂💀👍

[@lasvegassecurity2958]

lol

[@atropiaveteran]

Did you serve with Brian Williams by chance? It sounds like you were probably serving with him in Bosnia when Hillary was getting shot at by snipers. Thank you for your service sir!

[@michaelcoxfitness6089]

That's some poetry right there

[@striatedsumo7537]

That was beautiful, I think I teared up

[@Syndie702]

What blows my mind is that people who commit Stolen Valor don't bother checking the uniform regulations. They're all online and publicly available. It literally takes like five minutes to look over AFI 36-2903 or AR 670-1.

[@jwrosenbury]

+Mikaele Baker I didn't bother when I was in uniform. Why would I bother now?

[@theirishman111]

+Jeff Rosenbury lol best response

[@0110FLMS]

+Mikaele Baker Me being JROTC knows they were all fucked up lol. I also find it very funny that no one checks the regulations on the wear of the uniform for what branch they decide to steal valor from

[@jwrosenbury]

Dogified Gaming Uniform standards are mostly by custom. Reading the regs won't get you very far. Each unit and commander have their own opinions about what makes "uniform". For example, when I was in some units insisted on shiny shoes. Others forbade them because, "They might show up on enemy radar" [lol]. IIRC the regs just said "sufficiently blackened". But bad things happened to those who were different from the rest of the unit. The point was to be uniform. Personally I don't have a problem with someone who plays dress up. They do need to keep it legal by avoiding the "U.S. Army" patch (or whatever branch) though. If a real dust up happens, we need to be able to tell who is in charge.

[@Syndie702]

Jeff Rosenbury I believe the AFI 36-2903 actually does call for shoes shined to a "high gloss" in the Service Uniform. It's been a while since I've actually looked at them, haha. Generally speaking, I'm told standardization goes a bit by the wayside when deployed, understandably so. I know a C-17 pilot who got pen-patches for his whole crew saying "Make Good Choices" in reference to a certain teen movie they all liked. At Joint Base Lewis-McChord on Fridays units are permitted to wear a different color T-shirt under their utility uniforms, provided the T-shirt colour is standardized within squadrons. So yeah, I understand that things are very much at the discretion of the local Commander. That said, for someone committing Stolen Valour the vanilla regs are a good place to start. For people used to wearing military uniforms, most of what is said in the AFI is common sense. That's why even if you don't have the regs memorized you can generally spot someone who is outright wrong from a mile away.

[@1stMarDiv4341]

Wesley Snipes sure cleans up in a uniform.

[@PInk77W1]

I was 4yrs in Marines. Ain’t no way In heck I’m going confront some looney tunes In public. None of my business and he’d prolly pull a gun and

[@spartan113ish]

And what? You didn't finish your sentence man. I'm guessing that guy really got a gun.

[@fredrichoshunrinde873]

Thanks for having brains. I don't know why anyone would care about these imposters

[@chrisafp071]

Well I would. It’s so disrespectful

[@himurarobatam8709]

I never can understand this Stolen Valor? From whom? I’m lost in Translation ;)

[@michaelford1124]

Hey! Hey! They’re just trying to pick up some strange here....

[@LevoStevoWorldWide]

That wasn't a match lock musket, it was a flint lock, so the guy questioning Tosh was also clearly stealing valor. STOLEN VALOR!

[@LevoStevoWorldWide]

***** RIGHT!

[@jrobmus]

I know right! Quite clearly... a lock of the... flint variety, yes indeed. I totally know what we're talking about here.

[@LevoStevoWorldWide]

jrobmus yes quite.

[@LevoStevoWorldWide]

***** Always

[@LevoStevoWorldWide]

TheAkatsukitobi lol

[@darknorth1241]

What rank where you in the army? *Confused* Sniper?!

[@jackbandit2114]

aConfusedNiNja FTW It's like all the kids on youtube who swear they were a sniper in the military .

[@darknorth1241]

Jack Bandit lol

[@cotc23]

aConfusedNiNja FTW Yeah, the ass should've said private.

[@730F-Sport]

Sniper on call of duty doesn't count lol

[@mongrelwinter2735]

aConfusedNiNja FTW literrally cried

[@CoachSludge]

Stolen valor gets to the media: Airsoft kids: ◉_◉

[@BERSERK263]

"Be all you can pretend to be" 😂😂🤣

[@dabunnyrabbit2620]

"My MP badge, it's in my car." 😂😂😂

[@comradedeer9385]

I would just say "ok imma go get it for you" and immediately turn on his car and drive away stealing his vehicle.

[@loomisdagreat9287]

Never a good idea to disrespect the troops. My girlfriend's husband fought for your freedom!

[@ItsCriti]

Hahaha your a legend for this

[@zachstevens6233]

Daaaaamn

[@PG_Biggins]

Lmao

[@darlenetroise7079]

I was like huhhhh?

[@TorqueJones420]

When the troops are away, their girls gonna play.. with my balls lmao

[@Ryan-jx4vh]

Not me questioning myself for wearing a Top Gun flight suit during Halloween. 🤔

[@ZenZone_Soundscapes]

stolen valor STOLEN VALOR stolen valor 😜🤪🤣

[@anthonyramos5105]

I was almost killed by a sniper but my computer started buffing 😂😂😂

[@scottmerritt3850]

what's your rank? sniper

[@nathanhth]

+Scott Merritt uhhhh….sniper??

[@KidnapSix]

Seen that video, dude wasn’t all there. If he admires military and wants to dress like them and it makes him feel good. Go for it. People like to wear sports jerseys of their favorite players right? Kinda the same thing. Well you try to use it to get special benefits now that can be a different thing.

[@c0m4g1bb]

Typical call of duty players

[@JohnDoe-zt3wr]

"What rank were you in the army?" "... Sniper?"

[@sovietchadster907]

Prestige 2

[@SectorSos]

"People Say I made this shit up" that remark had me rolling🤣 His rank is E-S (Im guessing S Stands for Sniper?)

[@reggielongoria1848]

Soldier : I fought for America during the Revolutionary War. Guy : You know the war was over 200 years ago. 🤣😹😹😹😹

[@Patchman123]

What if he's a reenactor?

[@BloodyBay]

"We Toshes always did age gracefully...."

[@mikusoxlongius]

Wanka!

[@NicksStrengthandPower]

Anyone else pee on the side of the toilet at night so you don't make any noise?

[@TT-nv7vj]

if you pee too hard it'll circulate the bowl and you'll get pee on your legs...pee wisely my friend.

[@jrobmus]

Dude yes but then it gets weird when it turns into a drizzle and so then the only sound in the toilet is this sad leaking faucet sound and you wonder what people are thinking when they hear that. Kinda makes you question your whole life. Like damn I shoulda just pissed into the water to begin with.

[@sweaterwearingsquirrel9302]

+jrobmus omg I know that feeling! Fuck when you do that in a public toilet and you feel like everyone thinks you have a weak stream. Dammit.

[@lieutenantprick2770]

No, I pee on the floor like a fucking adult.

[@tazz86]

No, I pee straight down into the water. Sometimes I even get a chair to stand on.

[@trancendent]

What's your rank? Uhh, Prestige 10?

[@williambaldree4627]

Ronnie is one of everything hes ahead of the game

[@leonsheppard84]

I served in the Civil War as a Super Sonic Cannon Ball Loader. I fought for both the North and South so I never lost. In 1869, Abraham Lincoln, despite being dead, awarded me the Purple Heart medal even though I was never injured in combat and still alive. It's against my security clearance to talk about this however

[@Avis_Victoriae]

*The OSS wants to know: Your Location.*

[@wmpriest123]

@@Avis_Victoriae The dictionary brigade commissars have been dispatched to execute you in case you possibly committed heresy in the name of the typo gods. The SOS was on the favored list this week. They can never be too sure, even if you did refer to an organization. All hail the fancy word book! -- 4-star Salt miner 1st class Pepperhater xD

[@ItsTolerable]

I was led by the great Captain Price of the SAS.

[@yvngtv411]

Alejandro Dominguez well played

[@tenryuta]

wasnt he the traitor in mw1?

[@LJLMETAL]

I'm pretty sure he just finished 12 tours at the Food Court. That's funny

[@kingfua2988]

8 yr USAF/OIF vet here. It breaks my heart to see these misguided souls that are in dire need of love and attention. I get why my military brothers and sisters would be upset. However, our core values along with customs and courtesies should always dictate our words and actions over our personal feelings and frustrations. You can be bold, but DO NOT be overbearing.

[@SuperMontsta]

Hopefully with your 8 years of service, you know what stolen valor is, which is when someone tries to use uniform/medals/service for monetary gain. Half the time, it's just people dressing up and pretending. Courts rule that's 1st amendment right. I get annoyed at people yelling "stolen valor" in cases where it's not.

[@MrMitchMoney12]

12 tours at the food court 😂

[@beavernation1747]

when I was 16 I took the oath. became a Ranger withing 2 weeks the special forces wanted me said I could skip the Q course. than I was so good in Iraq they called me over to the Seals. and there I met Chris kyle. we became blood brothers. and then Delta came and asked me to join them so I did. got 200 confirmed kills so what medals did you earn. and when did you get out can't tell you that it's classified

[@themasterflo98]

Beaver Nation Is that really true. Were you also portrayed in the American Sniper movie or not

[@beavernation1747]

FTM98 Of course hahaha lol

[@themasterflo98]

Beaver Nation Well you never know on the internet

[@beavernation1747]

FTM98 haha true lol

[@lizzies.4018]

Should change it to "eskimo brothers" with Chris Kyle. I think it'd sound better.

[@ymcmb123jr]

This almost happened to me when I went paintballing, I was wearing a camo uniform I bought at a surplus store which still had a name patch on it. Stopped at a 7/11 before I went to the range and some guy in the store got all up in my face. I didn't lie I simply told him I was going paintballing and that was my outfit, but he didn't seem satisfied with my response.

[@keeganowens8949]

I mostly dress in camouflage, just because if I need to flee into the woods I am fine.

[@highjumpstudios2384]

Given I do the exact same thing with airsoft, I’m honestly surprised it hasnt happened to me yet.

[@brianclemons5375]

Yeah, these stolen Valor guys need to get a life.

[@axelfoley1812]

@@brianclemons5375 true

[@ch4z_bucks]

@@brianclemons5375 I think it's right to call out a guy genuinely claiming to be in or once being in the military, it's disrespectful to those that died or had to watch friends die. But some vets get too jumpy and have a go at people who aren't trying to claim service.

[@Tigerman1138]

I ran into some soldiers in NYC and asked about this and they loved the sketch and Tosh.0 for bringing this to more people’s attention.

[@GuitarxWolf]

“How dare you assume my rank?!!!! I’m so offended, this is what’s wrong with this country!!”

[@CommonPerson0]

I bought a Walrus custom for Halloween and they called me a SEAL

[@s4ujcd]

King Thao STOLEN VALOR!

[@Dantotherivertosilenceme]

Hahahahahaha

[@Jerbear767]

+King Thao costume?

[@jojoscomics652]

Nobody wants to pretend to be a sailor. lmfao!!!

[@gagemullis8134]

Joseph Stoner I was a nutcracker!

[@jojoscomics652]

Gage Mullis I'm happy to hear that..

[@groowanderer]

@@jojoscomics652 Jim Lee's Magneto... brings back some great memories

[@tenryuta]

stds man, i hear theyre bad for you

[@gary1987]

JoJo's Comics I dress up as Popeyes the sailor man..

[@h3lld1v3rfilms6]

I served in the Black Friday wars of 2020. Was stabbed by a teen who had a cheap kitchen knife. I can still see it even when I close my eyes. [shudders]

[@GVGames1986]

Thank you for your patronage under difficult circumstances!

[@MrShiriru]

"Lightfoots have short jacket. So why is yours so long? I, stretched it." - I died at this part. XD ROFL

[@dankhead72]

"got me on that one bud" lmaooooo too good

[@jenius124]

Actually it's not a felony unless something of tangible value has been obtained.

[@XxSuPeRxhUFFxX]

some of these are recorded at malls or stores/restaurants. meaning that the people were trying to get veteran discounts on stuff. so a few I would say is real stolen valor

[@termin8ter313]

+Paul Hopkins just sayin bud, you shouldn't use the word in the definition of the same word. That's like trying to define beauty and saying something that is considered to be beautiful. And in my opinion, stolen valor is a serious crime and it pisses me off when I see videos of shit bags who have nothing better to do then try to claim to do something they didn't have the balls to do.

[@jenius124]

Jonas Sostakas Paul is right. Unless it is against the law, which most these aren't, it's just your opinion and you know the cool part about opinions? We all have one. It's my opinion that this stolen valor non-sense is egotistical bullshit that only the lowest common denominator would cry out for... A shame we can't all get what we want.

[@53knights]

Paul Hopkins Right back at you

[@53knights]

Paul Hopkins And yet, you were completely wrong about it. That is dumb.

[@lucifermeowstar4604]

12 tours at the food court 💀💀💀 I’m Deceased!

[@azombie8mybaby]

When I met my wife's family for the 1st time her younger cousin showed up in a civil war uniform...from the south...it was almost a dealbreaker. When I saw him I could not stop laughing because I was thinking about stolen valor.🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@kaceface3277]

The one kid, Ronnie, I feel like he just wants to join the military someday and didn’t really understand

[@macbookproearly2011]

So this is what happened to my old uniforms?

[@tanner5209]

Negative. Seems like it though lol

[@templarkings5293]

Are u military?

[@tanner5209]

Domanick Hunt No. I'm NJROTC and joining soon. :)

[@jacobg236]

Friendly Raider And by that you mean: "Not only am I a JROTC punk, but a Navy one at that. Which is worse."

[@onlymadethisforcomments2476]

Proud Njrotc and Sea cadet, but seriously thank all the troops for their service. Also cadets dont act military, wait till you join

[@TheTeufelhunden68]

That wasn't a matchlock, that was a flintlock. What happened to historical accuracy Tosh?

[@ryanbutler8181]

That Revolutionary War skit was awesome. Even the girl couldn't help from cracking up.

[@jasonvoorhees6891]

1:55 People are going to think I made this shit up Ronny. 3:49 Stolen Valor at its finest 😂👍🏼

[@ElijahJenkins2196]

I was a door gunner on a spaceship.

[@adingostolemymeme4168]

The British uniform . 😁😂🤣💀

[@rdiddyspace1708]

hilarious. that last one with the rev war reenactor really got me. doing historical military reenactments for fun, we sometimes have to go to restaurants dressed like that to satisfy our 21st century stomachs.

[@EthanBucketGamer]

What rank are you? Ronnie sniper What we all wanted him to say, ummmm.... navy

[@victorsmith776]

back in my day of 800ad the Vikings raided my home village we fought bravely but alas I was the only 1 to survive

[@josephlang6719]

:(

[@janeflanagan7469]

Shut up

[@john-ll7xn]

+jane Flanagan are you so dumb that you cant understand a joke or sarcasm

[@PMMillard]

where's your Gaelic tattoos? STOLEN VALOR

[@TooManyGlitches]

Indeed.

[@John-cq3hk]

Major LOL at " look, I'm just trying to get some strange"

[@andersonhail123]

I could tell he was legit when he said "go fasters", that's some marine corps shit right there.

[@SPITNEIN]

“People are gonna think I made this shit up Ronnie” haha

[@TheWartHawg]

"I was a Nutcracker." Ballbuster. Ballbuster is the word you're looking for Daniel.

[@thomasslone1964]

this is how you know their a real vet, you call them out then wake up on the ground with a headache

[@Johnny-tq9no]

Yep. Most modern vets are aggressive assholes who go around starting fights and drive their truck as if they don’t give a fuck who they hit and kill