Why I Ran From Evangelion

[@TotallyNotMark]

We worked tirelessly on this video. Please consider leaving a like, commenting and sharing with your friends. It would mean the world to us! Concerning the Rebuilds, don't worry we will cover them in due time.

[@IsaiahWayne2104]

Amazing series.

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

Always! Your hardwork is always appreciated ❤❤❤❤

[@srensen9948sander]

Dammm JKK Still waiting on you...

[@shinjiikari1021]

逃げちゃだめだ

[@lesterwilliamsjr649]

Video Idea Why so many anime series from the 90s are overhyped as masterpieces. Example this series and Cowboy Bebop I think the problem is that anime in the west has been defined by 90s anime for a long time since a lot of them were more violent then American series and most of them told a continuous story. PS: Why do so many anime have a serlized story?

[@giantfightingrobots-fightr9272]

'Hedgehog's Dilemma' is wildly fascinating, but not for the reasons most people notice. It's false, on the surface; in nature hedgehogs will lay down/relax their spines so that they don't injury each other. To me, the reality of it actually makes it true: Hedgehog's don't actually face the dilemma because they relax their defensive mechanisms. For us it means that, in order to grow closer to someone, we have to become more vulnerable to do so. And it's this perspective that makes me love the concept of "Hedgehog's Dilemma". Thanks for coming to my TedX talk.

[@ShaiGuyz]

This is an amazing companion comment ! Thank you for this

[@Darksky1001able]

I call it Hedgehog Syndrome.

[@familyguysofunny1933]

It's more telling of the character who said it who was so far inside of her own ass that she couldn't form real connections so she resorted to philosophical mumbojumbo to justify it. Tldr: Stop coping. Give your mama a hug

[@LinkEX]

@@Darksky1001able Why Syndrome? Because it is not a real dilemma at it is a matter of 'relaxing' properly? A Syndrome is a combination of conditions that are commonly associated with an ailment. Not sure this translates into the pain of opening up to others. Although everyone might have its very unique set of 'conditions' (feeling tones and mannerisms) they experience in that case.

[@LinkEX]

That's an interesting reframing of the dilemma, and arguably even opens up the possibility to escape the dilemma entirely: In a way, you only have to suffer if you fail to 'relax' properly. Very much as many meditation practices will tell you: It's the resistance that causes you harm, not the experience itself. So that relaxation can be likened to your mindset: If you are truly equanimous to the opening up and don't let your ego dictate the situation as good or bad, you can find peace in the vulnerability.

[@alphamorion4314]

Dude... Whoever editor chose to put Deutschland by Rammstein as the backdrop song when commenting Asuka's final stand was a GENIOUS

[@parkerlagman4417]

I was listening, trying to figure out what OST it was and why it was so familiar, and then I remembered Asuka was German, and it clicked

[@Foxxeh84]

Needs to be Engel by rammstein …. Iykyk

[@C_C_512]

@@Foxxeh84i watched the anime because of that AMV too bad it’s been removed from YT

[@mabuhahege7693]

And here I am, asking myself how I managed to overhear the song in the background while watching that part after going back to it because of ur comment😂 But yes, that is fucking genious!

Kevin Caldwell's Eva Engel is still on KZbin, I recommend searching for it and watch in awe for a *90's* AMV

[@jirayasama7]

I'm sorry for your loss man. We lost a baby Christmas of 2022, and now as we pass 21 weeks on our second attempt we find a few new complications. I feel that numbness and listening to you talk about your pain is helping me with my current one.

[@jericho86]

Losing a baby is too common to be talked about so little. We lost our first before I had even come to terms with fatherhood. My first experience as a parent was grieving the loss of a child I’ll never meet. The sounds of my wife’s sobbing was stuck in my head until our son was born. He’ll be two in the fall, and he is joy incarnate. I’m the praying sort of person, and I’ll keep your family in mind. If you remember this comment in the coming weeks, I would love to hear an update, and I’m sure the rest of the commenters would too.

[@jirayasama7]

@@jericho86 thank you 🙏🏻

[@avi.chan23]

I am so sorry for your loss and I find it truly impressive you mentioning it. It is so important to talk about it and to be heard and taken serious. I wish you and your family all the courage and strength to learn to trully cope with this incredible loss. I can´t even imagine, how you might feel.

[@tharealmb]

First I wish you the best. It's very hard to lose a baby, and you can feel like it's something that happens only to you... even though it happens a lot more than people know. It's just not talked about. Ì think it's good that you shared your personal story. Both for others, but also for yourself. We found out our first child died at 28 weeks pregnancy, suddenly, after which our son was born a week later and we were able to bury him. I had the luxury of a great employer, and I was able to have 3 months to recover. But not all people have that luxury. What helped us most was talking about it. A lot, with about everyone who wanted to listen. Because of that we were both able to give it a place in our lives, and it does not affect our lives anymore. We now have 2 healthy children and we actually hardly ever think about everything that happened back then. I hope that you can find the strength to do the same, and have the option to talk and give it a place. And that you'll find happiness regardless what happens in the future.

[@SnakeWasRight]

You're not alone

[@Quastar]

Dear, Mark I don't normally like to comment on KZbin videos, mainly because I rarely feel like I could say something in my comment that is as meaningful as a fully scripted, voiced, and edited video that took hours to fully produce. That being said, this video was so emotionally resonant and impactful for me that I feel the need to comment on it just to express my gratitude and thankfulness for this video, despite my apprehension to posting KZbin comments. There's so much I appreciate and love about this video. The masterful way you merged your personal experiences and anecdotes in with the events of the show, the structure of the video perfectly dedicating the appropriate amount of time to each stage of the story, the amazing little bits of summary you provide to make it clear to the audience what events of the story you're referring to and where in the story your analysis is taking place, the beautiful way you enunciate and exaggerate certain words that makes listening to the video so engaging and immersive, the noticeable bits of background info and production on the show that illustrate the dedication and research that went into this video. And that's not even mentioning the amazing editing that features tons of little details and easter eggs for fans of the show, clips that always line up with your words (even if it comes in indirect ways), and stunning montages that leave me speechless (that edit of Komm Susser Todd had me getting misty-eyed). It all adds together to form one of the most utterly fantastic videos I've ever seen on this platform. Considering how a few hours before I watched this video I was on a 9-hour-long flight back to my home country, in which I watched several 2-hour-long movies, I say the following sentence with all of those movies very fresh in my mind. This video genuinely outclasses all of those movies made by teams of hundreds with budgets of millions so extremely and severely that I don't think any combination of words I could come up with would describe it accurately. This is easily one of the most incredible KZbin videos, if not works of video in general, that I've ever witnessed. I'm immensely thankful to everyone involved in the production of this video for having a hand in creating something so spectacular. Truly.

[@tommykirkland4244]

👍

[@REIMYBELOVED]

I hope Mark gets to read this I completely agree this video was amazing done to every detail and I felt so honored that he was willing to share parts of his life with us

[@skaboopydoopthedoop8711]

Nice profile picture

[@AnonTDegenerate]

HOLY SHIT THE META

[@devaryamadhukar8803]

Gawdh Damn

[@fablethanscorner]

Thank you Mark, I needed this. Not really the commentary on the anime, but Mark’s stories and openness of what he has gone through has helped me even just open up some doors in my own mind I locked away cus it was too hard to face or process. Thank you.

[@MrTAZ0047]

If Evangelion is a mecha then Attack on Titan is a mecha, if that's the case Ratatouille is a mecha

[@SunGawdRa]

I mean, aren't we all? We're just a brain running a bone and flesh bio weapon...

[@HanmaHeiro]

​@@SunGawdRayes but it becomes a Mecha when that meat bag controlled by a brain pilots another larger beach made of meat and or metals

[@nihili4196]

Inside out is Mecha too.

[@HanmaHeiro]

@@nihili4196 Those feelings are part of the brain though

[@hitandruncommentor]

Attack on titan is indeed a fantasy mecha. Why have people not acknowledged this? Oh right because then the themes becomes common place if excellently done.

[@rvfharrier]

2:22:26 I vote for those hour-long character studies, especially for Asuka! She really is a character that you can only truly appreciate on a rewatch. The "I didn't like Asuka at first but she was my favourite by the end" is not an uncommon journey, and with the context you have from finishing the series a lot of her earlier scenes take on a completely different light. Best example I can think of is the scene where Asuka and Shinji are shown to have compatibility issues in the DDR in ep 9. Misato suggests replacing Asuka with Rei and Asuka has a tantrum and storms out as a result. The first time we see that we think "spoilt diva overreacts to her being shown up, what karma!" As rewatchers, however, we know that Asuka has a tragic, traumatic fear of being replaced, her own mother literally replacing her with a doll. In this scene we see Asuka's current mother-figure (Misato) effectively replace her with someone whom Asuka sees as a doll (Rei), literally a direct parallel of the very worst of her childhood traumas, the sum of all her fears and everything she'd worked so hard to avoid in her life. Now instead of simply storming out in a tantrum, we see her flee crushed by an affirmation of, and her failure to overcome, her traumas despite trying so hard. Our perception of her reaction shifts massively in terms of sympathy between first time watchers and rewatchers, and that pretty much entirely sums up her entire character.

[@lonecom685]

Asuka is so good in the original series that despite coming in later, she was still one of the most important characters to the narrative, to Shinji and (especially) to the last movie. She's probably the most important, second only to Shinji... I really liked your read

[@hitandruncommentor]

Now go watch remake 3.0 + 1.0. And your appreciation will deepen further. Spoilers: you find out auska like Rey is a clone. And her "mother" was a failed clone that had gone insane. Furthered that Auska is the only successful clone out of dozens. Add into this that because of her artificial nature she's stuck in the body of 15 year old for twenty years while everyone else changes. Really I do understand why people hate the movies, it's mostly because they don't realize that each version of eva is a different iteration, for all its Christian themes eva is very much a Buddhist is not Hindu story.

[@Lampoluke]

​@@hitandruncommentor Asuka didn't age because of the eva curse bullsh1t, which I hate with all my heart, and this comes from someone who loves the movies.

[@Yuriel1981]

But even in the original series Rei being a clone of Ikari Yui, directly makes her analogous to a doll. A more direct comparison of the situation than most initially realize.

[@aa-id7li]

@@Lampoluke Nah that was great, I loved it as a metaphor for how all of the eva fans need to grow the fuck up and stop being trapped in the show.

[@questionablesalad5350]

The fact that you went into Evangelion in hopes that it would help you understand others, but found that it pushed you to look inward and consider the very nature of your connection to those people and your ability to understand them, is so incredibly fitting I couldn’t possibly think of a more perfect way to experience this series. It speaks to just how brilliant this story is and how effectively it managed to convey its message, and to how good of a writer and analyst you are. I already loved Eva going in and have thoroughly analyzed it for myself, yet I got so much out of this video and feel like I’ve gained an even fuller appreciation of it and of your own work. Bravo, amazing video as always.

[@Fugist12]

Mark, As someone currently going through a break up with my first real love, I stumbled upon this video again and somehow found myself rewatching it. I am in a dark place right now, nearly closed myself off completely, and watching this video really shed light on how I’m feeling and gave me hope on how to deal with those feelings and hope to be vulnerable and find love again. I will deal with this darkness and open myself up again with time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤

[@crystalk25]

Those last 10 minutes were EVERYTHING man. As a fellow work-a-holic currently wearing all the hats to get her business off the ground, literally waking up at 2AM thinking about all the shit that I SHOULD'VE done, and never accepting that my WORK does NOT dictate my WORTH...it's a rough ongoing battle, but you sit on that train as long as you need to. Hey dude; long time watcher, first time commenter. Immense props to you and the team for putting this masterpiece together. Much like the anime itself, it was a massive collaboration of talent, passion, and artistry that brought Evangelion to us in the first place, and this deep analysis makes me want to rewatch it to better understand it's chaotic majesty. On a serious note though...the level of profound vulnerability you expressed did NOT go unprecedented and was much appreciated. Returning said flowers, I wish you and your wife the best in life, as well as anyone here reading this. Life's ugly, and raw, and downright bizarre at times...but making those hard decisions is what gets us through it. "Get in the robot Shinji." ...Thx for reading? Cheers mates~

[@Kaijutopia]

Mark, thank you so much for sharing your personal story. It is not easy to share your traumatic experiences with a single person, let alone a vast internet audience. It was brave and inspiring!

[@robertminnie782]

Mark, this is genuinely one of the best reviews of Eva I've ever seen, and you've demonstrated such a keen understanding and appreciation for its characters and themes that you've helped me appreciate this series a lot more (I remember enjoying the first half, then being very confused and not understanding what was really going on, but getting the sneaking suspicion that things were falling apart during production.) You've made an excellent video, clarified a lot about one of the most murky and obscure stories in anime AND come a ways in understanding yourself in the process. And all that is to say... *"Congratulations!"* 🗣️👏👏👏👏👏

[@CecilyJisi]

"as a father myself" WHAT?! WHAAAAAAAT?! WHEN DID I MISS THIS?! THE FUCK?!

[@UsoppFan444]

Yeh it’s crazy. Think he showed it in the end of his Your Name video, so I don’t blame you for not catching that, even if you did watch that video

[@superbodoque7860]

What analyzing and discussing Dragon Ball does to a mf

[@Danny_Joaquin]

⁠@@UsoppFan444where?

[@Tommy-sc5jr]

Same

[@LathropLdST]

​​@@Danny_JoaquinIT SAYS IN THE COMMENT. OR YOU WANT THE EXACT MINUTE??!! TOOK ME 3 MINUTES TO FIND IT. COME ON, KIDDO, YOU CAN DO IT IN HALF AN HOUR 😂

[@evangedeon2194]

As soon as I saw this title, I said, "I bet it's because you're a Shinji, like me." Personally, after I finished the series and EoE a couple years ago, I mulled it over for maybe a week and then moved on, because I was (and am) uncomfortable with a lot of those deep questions it poses. Having watched this review, yeah. I ran away too. The inner work I need to do isn't going to go away unless I make the hard choices more. I just gotta have more hope for myself.

[@alejandroc7357]

“Its okay to exist..” 😔

[@TheBandoBandito]

I appreciate the longer videos. The hard work from yourself and the team is much appreciated. This was a banger.

[@multiverseguy1239]

The closest I can describe Depression is the feeling that all of your best days are behind you and that you are going further and further away from them.

[@creedecriswell634]

That’s true 🥹

[@weregretohio7728]

Until you hit the void, when you can't even figure out when your best days were, and stop feeling.

[@titanent.6897]

No you just described mid life crisis. Try again

[@sammitch524]

One explanation I heard a long time that stuck with me - you know how when you were a kid and you've got your favourite toys, but then one day you just don't want to play with that toy any more? It just doesn't bring you any joy. Well, depression is feeling that way about everything.

[@vfsberry7491]

@@titanent.6897that’s actually pretty funny (midlife crisis’s) Since most people are in their physical peak phase around their 40s

[@DrRESHES]

I love to watch those serious Evangelion videos. And rarely it's done right, and ever rarer it ends on a hopeful note. In my mind you did good. you did good.

[@N-oe347]

I'm glad you trust your community enough to open up about your personal life like you did. I'm wishing you and your family the best moving forward. With how much joy and entertainment you've given the world, you deserve it.

[@ednotari1345]

Well, can't wait to see you cover the Reuild movies. That'll be interesting. And one thing I don't see brought up much, and may not be much of a thing, is h ow Asuka's eyes at the last part of End of Eva are the same color as Misato's. Just a little detail that could mean something or not.

[@lam_lian]

Absolutely the best review I have seen so far. 🎉🎉 Thank you! I love seeing that someone else noticed all these details.

[@AwsmChimera]

Evangelion stepped into my life at exactly the time I needed it; it helped me come to terms with my depression and why I, a kid who hadn't even reached his teens yet, was simply unhappy with his life. It didn't knock me out of my depression, as that wouldn't happen for a long time, but it taught me something very important. "It's okay to not be okay. Life can hurt, but that's part of why it's worth living."

[@AwsmChimera]

Also, fun fact: I totally ripped off (scene-for-scene, even) the whole bit with Bardiel & Unit 01 for my books. It's to the point my pals know what I refer to when I say a certain character "gets The Bardiel Treatment."

[@mosquitopyjamas9048]

I felt this way...and even with the rebuilds, until 4 came out and that seemed to free me, if that makes sense? I've relapsed a bit but more so numb than sad (still depressed). I'm hopeful tho, keep working at it.... Which I guess is what rebuild.left me with. Not gonna lie but I may have been too young to watch Eva when I did and that may have really affected my viewpoint. It's still my favourite piece of art ever but not just because of how much I enjoyed it but how much it did what good art does and just let me see me, see life warts and all. And sonetimes those warts are tumors. Man I hate Eva 😂

[@bigchingis]

evangelion stepped into my life when i was at my happiest time and i comepletely ignore all the scary,depression things in it and just enjoy the mecha fighting

[@LookHearMeOut]

@@mosquitopyjamas9048 Ah man I share a very similar love hate relationship with Eva and I’m very thankful to read your words 🥹🙏

[@mosquitopyjamas9048]

@@LookHearMeOut don't get me wrong, it is my favourite work of art in any medium. The fact that it evokes such powerful emotions is enough to attest for that. But I'm happy to share and see I'm not the only one too, thanks!

[@TheShockVox]

Before I even watch, I ran from Eva too. I watched it on adult swim, but not all in order, and the ending threw me off. Then on Wikipedia I found out there was a movie that ended it all. And despite reading what happens in the entire movie, once I Saw end of Eva it fucked with me. I was 14 once I saw it. And as a Christian boy who was terrified at the concept of the rapture….yeah. It was at the point that any time I heard Komm Susser Tod, it was almost triggering. But then when it hit Netflix, I wanted to watch it again. Now as an adult, I love Evangelion. It’s still scary, but fascinating. It’s depressing, but at times very inspiring and hopeful. I think this is a show that NEEDS to be watched more than once. I hate Evangelion. I love Evangelion. In that order. Much like I hated myself, and still learning to love myself.

[@tberk470]

end of eva is not really the ending tehcnically. the rebuild movies despite seeming like reboots are actually continuations. it will all make sense once you see 3.0 + 1.0.

[@hoodieninja01]

​@tberk470 I struggled to finish 3.0+1.0 I think it's more so to do with the time of night I try to watch it everytime 😅

[@tberk470]

@@hoodieninja01 it's a little less action packed but definitely worth your time if you've seen all other Eva projects

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

@@tberk470that cgi Lilith was ugly as sin. But, the rebuild movies did make Eva 02 way cooler with beast mode transformation.

[@runo433]

​@@tberk470 Eva technically has like 39 different endings, the watcher decides what the ending is.

[@5001Fergies]

what was especially massively life changing for me from this show was the realization that not only am i not the only person to deal with these feelings, EVERYBODY to some extent struggles with something similar. one of the most overwhelming feelings for me was that i was completely alone, that nobody understood how i felt. but seeing my own internal turmoil perfectly portrayed in a way i could never put into words was so shocking to me. i realized that if the team that make this show could so perfectly portray my own feelings like that, and then seeing so many people resonate with that exact same feeling, made me realize that im not even close to alone. im surrounded by people who understand my pain, but who also couldnt possibly put it into words. and knowing that not only made me ferl far less alone, but enabled me to become more empathetic for others and help them work through those same feelings. Evangelion changed my life for the better.

[@Michaelonyoutub]

In retrospective the most important lesson I learned from Evangelion was to always assume there is more going on with other people than what they allow you to see. There are so many characters with outward personas in Eva that they use to cover up their past and how they are truly still hurting. Sometimes you see glimpse of this in people through offhanded comments or weird actions, which you often ignore and pass off as meaningless as it does not fit with the image you have of them in your mind, but it is those kinds of cracks in the image they present that often hint at their true self. It is for that reason that you really need to listen to people and pay attention to those cracks because sometimes the outward persona people put on, can't really reach out for help and the cracks are a way for them to try to break that image because they so desperately need help.

[@SquadraCorse]

This is an excellent overview of the series. I'm glad you included "End of Evangelion"" and thought you did a good job of integrating it with episodes 24-26. It's interesting that you seem to feel almost guilty about internalizing the story. Remember that Anno was going through a crisis of his own as he made Evangelion. The story reflects that crisis on an incredibly deep level. I think he wanted us to internalize it - to ask ourselves the same questions he and Shinji were asking.

[@Corbellations]

I mustn't run away from this two and a half hour video essay... Let's fckn go boiiisss

[@RhysClark97]

Evangelion is geniunely life changing, peach saliva once described the show as like "a mirror holding up a knife" it will show you the absolute worse parts of yourself and make you realise flaws you have that you never acknowledge, it will make you relate to some toxic human beings but then take the time to show you that you are a person that can make decisions and always change for the better, i remember breaking down crying at the 4th rebuild movie, like geniunely so filled with happiness at how optimistic it was after everything that came before it.

[@jacobjensen7704]

Wasn’t Rebuild 4 really that wonderful?

[@Viroh]

Well, your life must be sad.

[@jamessanders6750]

​@@Viroh I genuinely can't imagine how hollow your existance has to be for someone deriving joy and meaning from something to be sad to you.

[@Viroh]

@@jamessanders6750 you must be 10 and have parents that taught you nothing in life if a mecha anime with some depression "changes your life"... L

[@RhysClark97]

@@Viroh I think if you go to the replies of something to try and make someone feel down for explaining how art has had an effect on them, then I think you need to do the very introspection that the show encourages.

[@pace641]

Thank you mark. I hope you and your family are recovering well. This video was beautiful.

[@xcel007]

Mark, this was magnificent. Thank you for everything... your meticulous analysis & courageous candor are truly noted and appreciated. You are worthy of high praise. I hope somebody you know how much we appreciate you.

[@theframebetween6183]

Mark, I watched this video and decided that I would work out after months of being in a rut and not being able to do anything. Thank you so much for helping me out with your great videos!

[@Blikblok]

The best choices are the hardest

[@lonecom685]

Shinji and Asuka want to live. Shinji starts the movie with Asuka (the hospital scene, made to completely dehumanize him), they're together in the climax (the kitchen scene, in which there's the confrontation) and they end the movie together once again. So that's the thread that helps us follow the story. In the movie, Shinji is desperate and clings to Asuka in hopes of him getting better. But Asuka sees through that and rejects him and that's when the Third Impact starts. It's a parallel to Kaworu and episode 24'. Kaworu was made to be perfect. Anno literally said that he created Kaworu to be a "perfect version" of Shinji. Pay attention, he shows up when Shinji is all alone (Asuka is nowhere to be found, Rei is a clone, his friends are out of town and he is scared of Shinji and Misato). Shinji clings to him (similar to what he would later try to do with Asuka) and it works at first, because Kaworu is not human. However, at the end, Shinji is confronted with reality and has to "kill" this idealized bond to continue. And Kaworu is open to that, he is open to death. Asuka is the total opposite. She doesn't want to die. She wants to stay alive. And is that drive that makes her through EOE and out of the LCL sea in the end. Anyway, it's this idealization of Asuka by Shinji that makes him hurt her in the movie again and again (abusing her, choking her). But it's in the very last scene of the movie that Asuka breaks this cicle. It's said that Shinji started to choke Asuka at that moment to prove his own existence. Watch that scene again. He sees Rei and gets scared. He wants to know if he's truly outside the sea of LCL. So he turns to the "other", Asuka in that case. If pain exists, then he is living in the real world. If Asuka responds to it aggressively, he is alive. Pain is their method of "connecting" in the movie. But Asuka breaks the cicle. She is kind to him. She does the same thing his mom had done before. And that's when he starts to feel safe and cries in front of her. This is why people say it's a hopeful ending. Shinji and Asuka want to live and they now understand how to connect with other people better, having gone through Instrumentality. Even though they're so alike, even though Asuka sees herself in Shinji and hates that, they're able to share this final moment. It doesn't matter what will happen next, that's up for our imagination. But I can only assume they will make it work and that's why I fell in love with Evangelion. That's why it's helping me now to deal with my anguish and it will tomorrow and the day after that. Great review Mark! Of this awesome series and perfect movie!

[@Cj-cv4wb]

I like that read. Any thoughts on the final how disgusting line?

[@jacobjensen7704]

I’m always skeptical of these interpretations. It feels like a lot of mental gymnastics to try and explain why it’s supposed to be a hopeful ending. Can we not accept that it’s not a happy ending? We got a happy ending to the original series. We got a happy ending to the rebuild series. Can’t End of Evangelion be a sad ending?

[@artemiswallace8716]

@@jacobjensen7704 because the journey is the sadness. and the journey, as proven recently, doesnt end. Evangelion *doesnt* have a happy ending. it doesnt have an ending

[@Jonsoner]

@@Cj-cv4wb It's the amusing part of Evangelion for me. What does she means? It's disgusting that she too wanted to be alive and now she's stuck with Shinji? It's disgusting because she opened herself for once and reached out? Is it disgusting that, of all people, Shinji was and is the closest person she's ever met that's similar to herself, was Shinji all along? Is it disgusting when they were Fanta, she gained knowledge of what Shinji did in the hospital and she finds him disgusting? Or is it disgusting because she now accepts him despite of what he did / who he is? Or is it simply that even after being Fanta and now understanding Shinji and herself, Asuka just replies with a shitty thing to say despite just caressing Shinji, as an affirmation of who she is or a joke? Honestly, that line means whatever meaning you want to give it, and whatever meaning you find from it... the same as the rest of Evangelion, including the meta narrative between the original series, the rebuild and the ending movies. Hopefully, the series itself helps people gain more insight about themselves, as it happened to Mark, as it happened to a lot of people that watched it, and as it happened to me.

[@lonecom685]

@@jacobjensen7704 it's not "happy", just hopeful. That's literally shown in the movie. Shinji talks about it with Kaworu and Rei. He knows he will be hurt again, but he wants to keep going. He wants to live in the real world despite its hardships. And Asuka wants that too. It's as simple as that. No mental gymnastics here.

[@venomouslizards]

I can thank Evangelion, Berserk, Gundam, and especially Clannad for helping me get through many of the darkest times of my life. I do not know where I would be if I didn’t have these stories. I’m glad both Berserk and Eva have had a positive impact on you as well.

[@MisterAutist]

Hell yeah, Clannad. I watched both seasons from March through May.

[@thomasffrench3639]

Zeta Gundam made me realize that I didn't have to be alone. I don't know the romance with Kamille and Four resonated with me. It seems really weird considering what happened, but it made me feel I could make connections.

[@Viroh]

L shows

[@griffithonyt]

Clannad hit me like a damn bus when I first watched it during peak covid. Made me appreciate the people in my life so much more

[@Viroh]

@@griffithonyt clannad that story with little girls?

[@katnisstangerine]

Found you highly recommended on a reddit thread, and I was not disappointed!! Thanks for this awesome content!

[@DanEDigg]

man I've seen your videos here and there but by gee by golly I think, with this one, you've proven without a shadow of a doubt that you have something to say that I want, and maybe need, to hear. it's the kinda feeling where instead of just "i like this, subscribe" it's more "I like this, it would be a disservice to myself to miss future works, subscribe" Great work, great work to everyone involved.

[@God-Level-Threat]

I hope you one day also review Gurren Lagann, as I feel it is "same coin, different side" deal to Evangelion, it also helped me deal with alot of my mental health issues like Eva did with your friend.

[@TrazynTheKleptomanichad]

I *hard* 2nd this. Gurren Lagann is a great pallette cleansing and companion piece to NGE

[@whathell6t]

@@TrazynTheKleptomanichad Well! Of course it’s a companion piece. According to Hiroshi Imashi, Simon the Digger is Shinji Ikari. He created Gurren Lagann for a route that Shinji, at the bare minimum, has a mentor. And that mentor is Kamina.

[@farid3454]

Also gaogaigar. For basically the same reasons.

[@cyzaine]

Ooh yes please. Gurrem Lagaan deserves your touch.

[@Arg3stars]

This has my total support. Gurren Lagann is amazing and as worth as Evangelion !

[@VegaNCalleDQuesT]

My jaw literally dropped as soon as I saw the thumbnail. THIS is the kind of stuff I love from you. Love to see reviews on older series. Another endless vote for Monster here lol

[@NinthShinigami]

A true masterpiece of a series. An all time favorite for me. Glad to see you tackling it Mark, and I’m glad you seemed to have enjoyed it greatly or at least gotten a lot out of it :)

[@tiest0001]

Thanks for sharing this video. I am confident to say, this has been the largest I've ever seen in KZbin. More importantly, it kept me willing for more since min 1. As a long time EVANGELION fan, I truly appreciate it. My first approach to the series was through some VHS video tapes back in the distant late 90's (pre-internet time). It really hit me hard but didn't fully understood how until I got older. It really made me feel concious of the insecurities I felt at the time and provided some answers on how to deal with them. At the end, I was just (you guess it) a 14 year old kid the first time I saw it. As I got older, I always had to back to re-watch EVA. Re-Build re-ignited within myself the desire to know more, explore more but more importantly, ask the same questions about my inner me over and over again. If you're sensible enough to get over the fantastic animation, the breathtaking mecha fights, EVA can truly be a fantastic experience. A hard candy to swallow, yes. It's going to keep you going around in circles for a while, yes. You'll surely feel frustrated because not all answers are given straightly. But man! What a journey it is, a journey worth to be taken. I'm sure we all EVA fans have been broken somehow sometime in our lives (and sorry for your loss, know the feeling), but such is life. Painful, disappointing and sad, but worth to be lived and worth to do our best to enjoy the moments of happiness it has for all of us. Thanks for sharing.

[@papelitoeskobares297]

Thank you for presenting this art form from your own artistic perspective. It made you vulnerable and in turn helped me become more vulnerable too. Keep on doing you!

[@protagkun]

Whenever you cover the Rebuild series I highly recommend you to also cover the NHK documentary about Anno and the production of 4.0, it's a great dive into a Anno's mind at the time and makes the experience of the final product even more incredible, it basically is the secret EVA 3.5

[@Vanity0666]

3.33 is 3.5, there was a whole movies worth of content cut between 2.0 and 3.0 that was used as promotional material for 3.0 leading up to the film's release which contained none of the promotional material.

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

I’m sad we never got Eva 02+08 from that preview in you can (not) redo.

[@jimbi0768]

Why do I get reminded of kingdom hearts titles when I read these comments?😂😂

[@Tenoko321]

@@bearerofbadnews1375 That is what you are sad about? What about the adventures of Hobo Gendo, Fuyutsuki, and Donkey?!

[@Jsimms1324]

@@bearerofbadnews1375I’m not. I’m glad they scrapped that idea

[@popotegaminggansting2947]

This video made me fall in love with Evangelion all over again. Thank you.

[@amccall88]

I can't believe I watched this entire video..... Thanks for sharing so much of your personal struggles here too, it was all very touching

[@shoumikmaitra8924]

This was a masterpiece man, thank you for being so open with everything

[@Baatosanabe]

Damn brother. This video is definitely a love letter to this anime. I tell people that this anime is one to watch multiple times and only then you can scratch the surface of this anime. I have seen this whole series at least 5 times and I am still learning about it. Finally, I admire and respect you for this video on many levels. You are the man, Mark.

[@IsaiahWayne2104]

Shinji may not be a great hero, but he is a great protagonist.

[@Vanity0666]

He becomes a good hero but it takes a few tries

[@Gogeta2501]

Its better then whatever bserrk is worst story ever

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

He becomes a hero in the final rebuild movie.

[@swagasaurus8568]

He may not be a great hero but he enbodies the hero we would all start off if we were in those scenarios 100%

[@swagasaurus8568]

Ok maybe not on the hospital scene but you know what i meam 😂

[@sprawlz6466]

Evangelion is my favorite anime of all time and it’s not even close. Legit the only TV anime that I would consider to be a true 10/10. Absolutely brilliant show and I don’t really understand the hate it gets from so many people. I think it’s likely something similar to what you experienced. This show dives deep into characters that display some of the most common insecurities that many people have. This can be legit scary to come face to face with so some of these people will want to put a wall between them and the series somehow. Whether that’s intentionally not paying attention during the watch or just flat out dropping the series. Whatever the case may be, no one can deny the monstrous impact this series has had on people and anime as a whole.

[@creedecriswell634]

I think a lot of it has to come from what you said it’s themes It’s also just not your average fun anime that some are looking for they see cool robot let’s go and shocked by what they see. These days it has become widely praised by many. Most websites it is rated pretty well especially letterboxd. IMDb And MAL

[@Teandcrumpets]

A series like eva requires effort to get into, and many people who watch it aren't willing to put in the effort to understand it and come to love and appreciate it. If you don't take the time to peel back the layers of Eva, then you simply won't reach it's sweet centre.

[@SJNaka101]

​@@Teandcrumpets Eva is the dark souls of anime and some people just refuse to git gud

[@SunnyS5]

Accidentally binged this over the afternoon and I just have to say it’s a spectacular essay. You managed to walk the tight rope of balancing content for newcomers and longtime fans, and honestly it’s aspiring to see (given that im also writing some academic essays for college) You picked up on many tiny details that I missed or just went over my head after watching the show multiple times, so I think the hook for me is how you kept presenting new information to me while also jogging my memory. Instant subbed

[@TotallyNotMark]

Thank you friend!

[@anegginthesetryingtimes7636]

Glad this topic is about the original and EoE. A lot of ppl like to lump in the redos in a holistic review like this. A real treat here lads, well done!

[@il_jarrado7203]

When the anime breakdown makes you breakdown in tears, the section about Asuka hit me hard and brought up a lot of personal stuff. Bear in mind I’ve watched Eva since 1998/99 when I was 11 or 12 and had a lot of stuff going on. Thanks Mark I totally did need the cry 😅

[@Weeks.]

Been refreshing for this video for 2 days. Nice.

[@HanmaHeiro]

I truly hope this is not true

[@LookHearMeOut]

Nice! 👍

[@Weeks.]

@@HanmaHeiro Why? I love Mark's videos and I was excited for him to cover Eva. Was really pumped when he announced this was coming.

[@HanmaHeiro]

@@Weeks. I mean you weren't literally refreshing though, right?

[@Weeks.]

@@HanmaHeiroBruh I'm just showing some excitement and hype for a Mark video.

[@topofsomething]

I remember i asked you on twitter years ago if you were gonna review eva and i am so happy that you did

[@juandiego1993]

Man, I almost cried mid work hours hahaha.. you hit the mark better than you could ever think it was hit.. I thought I knew Evangelion for giving it years of studding and attention but you saw each point of the episodes and saw the structure and its significants in a stunning way! I truly feel great full for your video! And I do have to say this as a dad myself, I'm sorry for your lost.

[@rubenthekid]

This franchise alone (the anime, the EOE movie, and the rebuild series) has brought me to tears more so than any other piece of media. It truly is an essential piece of art.

[@xanderdaniels8284]

This video is fucking incredible man. I’ve never seen such a thorough and near-perfect breakdown of this absolute masterpiece of fiction. I’m sorry to hear about your loss and I wish you all the best, and hope you know that you have value and deserve to exist and to be cared for.

[@FiggyJr]

I have been watching you for years at this point and I want to say this is my favorite video you have ever put out. It is the best dissection I have every seen of Evangelion as well!

[@Joeymn]

Totally not mark: ohhhh look he’s in a hospital I wonder what’s gonna 10 seconds later Totally:………..OHHHHH

[@Shaveyle]

my honest reaction

[@godzilla4189]

(Chainsawman Spoilers) Shinji (To Asa): "Wait. Your. Turn."

[@littleredruri]

I love the use of "totally" as his name instead of "mark"

[@andariel654789]

When Asuka's stuck at the bottom of lake, while she's bombarded with proximity mines, among her mother's encouragement you can hear a single line, not repeated: "Let's die together!" That awakening wasn't just for Asuka's sake. And a couple other things. In EoE, take note that Gendo's body did not dissolve into instrumentality. He was denied joining with Yui. The movie ends on the characters having to deal with the consequnces of their choices, in all their aspects.

[@TheBombShelter-TBS]

End of Evangelion in theaters was amazing. Also Mark, I appreciate your openness about talking tragedies you have experienced in your life, its very humanizing, and makes a stranger making anime youtube reviews so much more relatable, just like people you have met before in your own personal lives.

[@sourlab]

Man this was such a fantastic video ! Im so glad you didn't give up and made this video An amazing character analysis , video essay ... etc it just had it all ! Im very sorry for the loss of your second child and i hope you and your wife can recover from it. This was a fantastic watch and holy shit i might've just watched all of it in one sitting lol

[@xredgambit]

This is a fantastic video. Mark you are one of the only people that I could watch a feature length deep dive into a subject. I want you to know that you are worth it and worthy of love. It's ok if output isn't on a weekly or even monthly basis. You deserve time to yourself to breath or even grieve.

[@temyar55]

First of all Mark and co, great video. It was worth the wait. I first watched Eva in 2012 and was confused by it. In 2019 I rewatched it and I watched End of Eva for the first time. Upon the rewatch I did understand more. But End of Eva broke me. Never have I ever watched something that left me more confused and disgusted. But I was happy. The movie made me question a lot of things in my own life and was something that replayed in my mind for years. This video makes me want to rewatch everything once again. But yeah this is a series that does make you look in at yourself and some of the darker sides of mental health as a whole that aren’t really touched upon.

[@jacobbowlby5957]

I can’t imagine the loss you guys had to suffer, a good friend of my family just experienced something similar and the turmoil they went through is something I could never wish on anyone. Thank you for continuing to work and power through things while you processed the loss, and for sharing such a profound impact you experienced

[@hyperevo7466]

Evangelion is a show I decided to watch for the first time on my birthday. I didn’t know anything about it beyond people saying it’s one of the best anime’s of all time, and that it dealt with some, what looked like, lovecraftian imagery and situations. By the time I had finished it and the End of Eva film, I had been forced to come to terms with aspects of myself that I either wanted to continue to ignore or didn’t even realize I was struggling with to begin with. Shinji might be the single most relatable character I’ve ever seen in media to me because aspects of him almost mirrored what I was like in my early teenage years and I did not like what was staring back at me. Eva means as much as it does to me because of the hard introspection it forced me to have. Media as a whole can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people, but Eva seems special in that regard because rarely have I met someone who’s seen this show and doesn’t have a personal story to tell because of it. It’s truly touched the hearts of many, and many of us are better for it.

[@hardlux]

Brave turn my friend... Cheers to you for sharing that part of you- I can't imagine how you must feel. Hopefully, relieved. Thank you for all the videos.

[@thomasffrench3639]

Evangelion is some of the best filmmaking I’ve seen in the entire medium of TV/OVA anime. Not my favorite story, but I respect that aspect a lot. Now I really want to see your opinion on the original Gundam TV series, as I think it’s very similar to this in story, and I like it better

[@newchallenger3020]

God i feel the same i am still struggling to start this series because i know it will be depressing and i know how crushing it will be and i still am running away from it even though i want to see this series

[@SOSLOCO]

Damn bro this is the most emotional video you've made so farⅡ half made me cry like the whole time good for you man keep doing it

[@angelbbyi]

wow. perhaps the best Eva video essay i've watched thus far. your understanding of this series is amazing. thanks for making this

[@coolu]

Wow, you releasing this while i am watching evangelion!!! 6 episodes left and a movie to watxh

[@nthdgree5078]

Technically two movies. Don’t skip Evangelion:DEATH before The End of Evangelion, even if some people tell you too. They are supposed to be a package deal like one long movie. Even though most of it reuses footage from the show, it’s a beautiful prelude before you go into the final stretch.

[@coolu]

​@@nthdgree5078Okay good to know.Thanks!! (The more evangelion the better)

[@RastaGamesful]

I have a complex relationship with this anime and story because I'm not fan of mecha genre (Code Geass is probably the exception to the rule). When i first wachted it i really don't like it. But the first positive things i noticed was Opening and Ending they was and still GOAted to this day. I don't like the animation style it was bad for me. But after I watched it again and understood everything, I liked it more, but I found new problems in it that repelled me to watch further. Sometimes Eva really try to play with cinematography and metaphors, but personally they were far from me. Shinji, as the main character, was far from me and his problems did not particularly relate to me. But the character I liked the most is Misato. My favourite character from all main cast. It's definitely not bad, but it definitely won't appeal to everyone and I'm not surprised that it has its fans and haters. It's too contradictory and is aimed at a very narrow audience that had the same problems as the author and I can understand why some people really liked it. Especially after the movie rebuilds, they both horrified and pleasantly surprised me with their plot twists. And thanks to Mark and team for the video, very good analysis.

[@thomasffrench3639]

Have you seen the original Gundam TV show from 1979? I wasn’t big on mecha either, but that series changed my mind on the genre

[@VaranTheGreat58]

It's shows like this are why I prefer anime series over American television, what starts as a standard Super Robot show, slowly evolves into a deep introspection of the human psyche. It's shows like Neon Genesis Evangelion are why people should NEVER underestimate mecha. I implore people to check more mecha anime, the stories that these shows tell are intriguing not because of the robots but despite them.

[@thomasffrench3639]

Mecha anime is the best.

[@mosquitopyjamas9048]

Any recs? I've only seen gundam wing and gurren lagann... Oh and big o... Did kill la kill count? Prob not

[@Bacon_nator]

This is easily the greatest youtube video and one of the best pieces of media I've ever seen, and will probably remain that way forever. Thank you

[@potblessed]

I was hearing you sing Fly me to the Moon, as tears roll down my cheeks and I was crunching and hugging my legs, sobbing. This was a wonderful and powerful essay. Thank you. You have no idea, how in this moment and time, I deseperately needed it.

[@Shaveyle]

bro i watched and finished evangelion at the same time as mark, lol. Its great that right after i finished the series you did a video on it. Thank You!

[@Junktheguild]

Great video, Mark. I'm sorry for your loss. 😢 I remember my first time watching the series in my teens back in the late 2000's. I like the series and movie, but I don't love it. I've been meaning to check it out again. But after Evangelion, I think it's time for a pallet cleanser. Time to watch The King of Braves GaoGaiGar. Where Evangelion was the deconstruction of the mecha genre, GaoGaiGar is the rebuild. Also, it's just a lot of fun.

[@thomasffrench3639]

I need to get back that show. It's now on Crunchyroll for no reason, and I saw the first episode and it was kind of insane. Gao! Gao Gao Gao! GaoGaiGar!

[@Junktheguild]

@@thomasffrench3639 I highly recommend it, unless you're photosensitive.

[@sarahszabo4323]

What a wonderful video. I think I'll rewatch this for sure! Hope I can see something in myself like you did ^^

[@leandrogonzalez3069]

I am sorry for your lost, Mark. It really got me for differents reasons.

[@TrueBlue-o1d]

Mark as someone who struggles with self worth as well, I cannot imagine your grief on top of losing your child. Your videos are remarkable insightful and the fact you still have passion to do this stories justice despite of the grief shows a remarkable spirit. Make no mistake, you are a brave person for not giving into the despair. There are times too where I just want to just to give up my own passions and hopes, to just not have the expectations of me any more. But hearing your passion for this stories inspires me. I hope you and your partner continue to recover from that time and joy and hope speaks into your lives.

[@landoedits1]

it’s time to binge watch this fr

[@WilloftheFans]

That outro. No question you have a profound understanding of what Evangelion is about.

[@kylearchbold5189]

“If Life’s not beautiful without the pain, then I’d rather not see, any beauty again” -Modest Mouse

[@eiwhaz-tina6528]

Beautiful singing at the end. No words left after watching. I am deeply affected. I'm sorry for your loss, and I send you all of my support. All for you.

[@MrRoyVega]

Holly shit! I was 1:24 minutes it when I realized it was totally not mark!! Man, you’re now my second favorite english speaking youtuber after super eyepatch wolf. I love you so much! 😭

[@Destroyer6263]

I’m with you man! In absence of the ability to truly experience your exact suffering, I’ll at least assure you that you are (Not) alone. I am still living with body image issues, self-hate, depression, and despair. But, I guess we just have to live on. This story and it’s ending cut deep and you releasing this now gives me a little more hope to keep on and that maybe I can help myself to live happily. I look forward to your next video. -Another Shinji

[@ReelPodcasts]

Almost 2 and half hours yeah the extra week of wait was worth it.

[@andresousa101]

So... Gurren Lagann now? Just to see a completely different perspective on some questions Eva poses, by a director that was a animator in Evangelion

[@neloverg3774]

Rebuilds would also be interesting, Gurren Laggan and Evangelion are some of the GOATs of mecha

[@KidNeyCORE]

There were people far more important on Evangelion who also worked on Gurren Lagann than Imaishi was.

[@LilSticcBoi]

Man I really wanna thank you for opening up about the things you went through. I can’t say I went through any of the same things, but I’ve had the same feelings. Hearing someone else feel the same or very similar to the way that I felt (probably still feel to an extent, on some subconscious level), really helped me feel less alone. It sucks, I hate that anyone else had to or has to feel that, but at least we’re not going through it alone

[@jjbyrd64]

I appreciate Mark for being so transparent in this video. I was so excited for you to examine evangelion as it’s one of my favorite anime ever. Our hearts go out to you for just a different level of video analysis that I can only find in you. We love ya mark!

[@savio953]

Holy fucking shit 2 hr 30 minutes of peak I fear

[@jasonrice9127]

Being an Evangelion fan from 1997 seeing fan subs then on to the ADV VHS tapes both subbed and dubbed and then going right into Death and Rebirth along with the video games, the manga adaptation even the ones that repurposed all the characters as detectives, just regular school kids, etc… and then finally the Rebuild films…wow…the whole damn thing finally boiling down to a conversation between a lonely father who lost his wife and a lonely son who lost both his mother and father, that conversation about forgiveness and healing is perhaps one of the most soulful and touchingly beautiful denouements to any story I have ever experienced. It only took almost 30 years to reach but that ending is beyond words magnificent. 3.0+1.0 is in my mind the perfect conclusion to this series or any series and one of the best animated films ever made. Congratulations Shinji.

[@godwinsbraimoh995]

I agree so much with this. It’s what I felt was missing from EoE. Seeing Gendo finally take off the mask and actually talk genuinely and openly with his son made so much sense. He treated Shinji horribly, but due to his love for his mother I don’t believe he wouldn’t want at least one deep convo with Shinji

[@azenar1894]

Now you gotta do the Rebuilds and manga and how they add to the og

[@chrisj1475]

This has brought back some feelings that I felt the first time I watched The End of Evangelion. It was a sense of loss. The psychological elements went over my head, and I enjoyed the action mecha scenes and teenage awkwardness. EoE brought the psychological into the forefront. It also made it clear (and unclear) that this is the end.

[@franktorrez7315]

we all love and support you mark thank you for sharing your personal stories they mean the world to us.

[@necrus1401]

My wife and I are going through the same thing. I feel as you did. Hearing you articulate it out loud broke a dam of emotions I couldn't face. I stand here now, listening to you with my headphones in, quietly crying tears I could not let out before. I'm so sorry, Mark.

[@Maikigai]

2:24 “We are who we choose to be” is also learned in Spider-Man.

[@MikeJack20]

Spider-man teaches all

[@rustyshackleford7062]

And kung fu panda 2

[@ivanbluecool]

I feel people on both sides of is shinji annoying do get things wrong. He has a right to complain on being thrown into something he doesn't understand by a man who abandoned him. Each time shinji turns to a sponge I think if he's right to act this way and most times no in the later parts but yeah in the early ones. But his dad isn't all crazy as the government meetings I found cooler than the mecha fights as we would definitely fight over budgets even when a world ending threat appears on our door step. That's humanity Though at least shinji ended up with the better girl at the end of it all. Rei and asuka were not it people

[@gumgumleobazooka]

I also take it as he didn’t want to manipulate the people he has had countless experiences with and change their trajectory to align with his. Still did it in the end but it seemed to be less “selfish” in a sense.

[@ivanbluecool]

@@gumgumleobazooka everyone around him were too kind for what shinji tries to pull. Especially in a Japanese story. Honestly he should have been more impacted when his friend lost his life than piano boy In my opinion in timeline one. Second timeline way better handled

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

You mean he ended up with Mari the character he barely talked to during the rebuilds.

[@whathell6t]

@@bearerofbadnews1375 Nope. He didn’t. If that was true, then Mari would have immediately took the DS Choker off in the Golgotha Project and not at train station of the brand new universe.

[@StevePadmore]

I'm sorry for your loss. Prayers for healing and space to grieve for you and your family

[@NexusTrimean]

Always Love your Reviews Mark, Thank you. This one really speaks to the hedgehog in all of us.

[@nofto9440]

When you said "its gonna take longer" last week you were nlt kidding lmao