Trad Wife Life: Reality vs Cosplay

[@trashpanda3837]

This kind of tradwife cosplay paints a fantasy for men as well; that their youthful bride will continue to be spry and dress up every day to bake cookies from scratch with a face of full makeup while in reality she has barely enough time to take a proper shower after feeding him and his children and cleaning after them all day.

[@crem9607]

This is what I thought I thought the tradwife thing was (male porn, essentially) before I had a 😨WTF moment when I found out that women were actually buying into it. I mean, it's totally coded that way. Woman happily slaving for a man while looking like a Stepford Wife to appease his visual preferences. No woman in her right mind would look at Ms. Pick Me all dolled up in her vids and think to herself, 'I totally have enough time to pick out, press & coordinate outfits like that, do my hair, and put on a full face of makeup on the daily as my children are screaming in the background.'

[@SanneFromBibleStudy1987-gq6vg]

When even conservative women are talking about how unsustainable it is to be a SAHW/SAHM, that should be a wake-up call.

[@Callimo]

Right?? Not the conservatives being like "Hmm, this seems way too far" lol! But, it does perk my suspicions that a lot of these "trad wife" influencers might be more far right than even a regular conservative.

[@jayogee913]

Women who try this in real life, as often I've seen in the people around me, commonly end up being single mothers working minimum wage jobs, trying to start over at 40/45/50 years old, and trying to chase down their ex-husband for his pittance of child support that he's been ordered to pay and often skips out on. But if some people want to try to live a fantasy life, that's up to them. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way, and that's okay.

[@kathiaserrano7740]

@@Callimothey’re cosplaying a period of time that was short lived. Not giving their audience the full picture.

[@deirdremorris9234]

​@@kathiaserrano7740Exactly. And girls like Estie are silly. Add 3 babies to that mix and see how cute you are when hubbybubby gets home!

[@janetnadaryna8375]

😊q

[@akarmstrong4]

Some people don't have comprehension skills. Never have you said don't get married. You encourage women to think for themselves and have some independence.

[@Uke2405]

Look it is about silencing women. You single ... you are called bitter and want other women to be single. You married, you are called a grifter. At the end they want women to shut up!

[@akarmstrong4]

@alcyonae thank for the correction.

[@akarmstrong4]

@@Uke2405 Exactly, and they want to pass more laws to control women.

[@alcyonae]

@@akarmstrong4 yw! Thanks for taking it well. And yes on your take of B&B

[@NM-ne3xv]

THANK YOU! The notion that 'traditionally' women didn't work has slowly been driving me nuts. My grandmothers in the 50's were a nurse and seamstress respectively, which are ACTUALLY traditional occupations for women. In agricultural societies, everyone has to work on the farm. The 1950's housewife was a fictional ideal for most people even at the time!

[@deirdremorris9234]

RIGHT! My grandma was a maid, then cared for her cousins mom in lue of rent! My mom had 7 kids, worked on and off: antique shop, newspaper editor, department store. Please!!🎉

[@NM-ne3xv]

@@deirdremorris9234 Oh yeah, the few real housewives were wealthy enough to have maids do the housework. Average wives were the maids.

[@TKOin2life]

Thank you. Tv and movies have these people thinking that lifestyle was the norm. It was not unless you were at minimum middle class. Even those women were trapped unless they came from wealth.

[@C-SD]

I read an article once that said it was basically a reaction to "reel in" the amount of freedom and autonomy women developed during WWII.

[@BLKfootIndian]

I see so many funerals where males age 5-21 were in ⚰️ How is any female really gonna depend on helpless Darren in despair

[@DeMarkeba]

Also, there is nothing traditional about being on apps talking about being traditional, and at the same time earning money cosplaying tradional wife.

[@Its.giselle234]

Let's keep DISMANTALING the illusion of being a SAHM. Ladies get your money, have an education and if you are 18/ 19 if a GROWN MAN TELLING YOU TO DROP YOUR CARRER AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. IT IS A LIE! HE ONLY WANTS TO WASTE YOUR TIME! DROP HIM!!

[@Its.giselle234]

@@TheBLGL That Too!

[@ragingrn8342]

Also, do not think you can just "go back to the workforce" when your children are grown. Age Discrimination is probably alive and well and even though this type of discrimination is illegal there appears to be little enforcement of the law. I don't recommend that ANYONE completely leave the workforce unless you have 7 figures in the bank.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@ragingrn8342 Age discrimination isn’t the main issue. It’s the huge gaps in resume. A student working on their masters with a 4 year gap between college and their masters program is going to be a better candidate than a SAHM that has a 5-6 year gap due to staying home till her child is school age simply because the master student is going to be more up to date on the field they are entering. I’ve heard several SAHM say that they are keeping up to date on their licenses and registrations so that they will have an easier time going back to the workforce for this reason, and I think it’s a smart thing to do.

[@talkingtochapri]

Notice how most tradewives are 18-25 old year content creator, i have never 45 year old tradwives on social media who is still getting provided by their partners 🤭💀 most of them get dumped as soon as they get old 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@katherines144]

That's why I purposely mispronounce and label them all "trade" wives. Because men just trade them in for a newer model dishwasher or fleshlight when the first one gets dirty or old.

[@jayogee913]

I will be interested to see how many of these influencers are still happily married tradwives in 5-10 years from now. When they've made their millions being famous influencers, we'll see if they still put up with their husbands' bs. And that's after telling regular non-rich women to give it all up for a man!

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

@@jayogee913This. In 5-10 years, they’ll be doing videos either crying snot-booger tears about how they’re “loving” husband left them for a younger woman, or they’ll talk about leaving their husbands because they were sick of their ish, and now that they got the bag, they decided to exit stage left.

[@allmic101]

Yep, yep.

[@yvonneoy3124]

😅​@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living

[@akiram6609]

😤 People say pick better. Part of picking better is learning how to spot red flags. These people now have a problem with videos teaching women how to pick better and not be so desperate? Make it make sense. SMDH

[@SakuraMoonflower]

They just want every excuse to blame women for their own problems. 😅

[@sandpiperr]

Not to mention, it's just not realistic to say "Oh your husband of 20 years left you for a younger woman? Well I guess you should have picked better!" It's impossible to know for sure what someone is going to do 20 years in the future.

[@akiram6609]

@@sandpiperr Yet it doesn’t stop people from saying that. Red pillers say that women do not have the mental capacity to reason themselves out of a paper bag yet expect women to be able to predict the future with total accuracy.

[@ragingrn8342]

In order to "pick better" you need to be able to read someone's mind AND predict the future.

[@OnewBiased]

Also women having their own money is like having insurance. It's not like we actively want to be in a situation when it's necessary to use it, but if it happens then it's great that we're prepared. People change over the years and some truly malicious ones might reveal their true nature only after years, even decades. If it unfortunately happens to us, at least we're not that screwed

[@Milagrosblanco684]

My mother was a sahm/sahw. She found out that her husband cheated on her and uprooted 3 children from the suburbs to the projects in Chicago. Since she didn’t have any basic skills and felt like life was over once she had children, she relied on government assistance. She is now in her early 50s and doesn’t know what to do with herself. She lives a very lonely and miserable life due to her poor decisions. I refuse to live like this.

[@tfkdandsvkc]

Just reminding everyone that xys are not worth it,,,stem career and money is their replacement

[@lovelydeath04]

And a pet, a garden, a hobby, and anything else that makes you happy!!! Life is so much more wonderful without these males.

[@bluejay6229]

Going for my degree as we speak 🫡

[@I.am.hooked]

​@@bluejay6229 Atta girl!!!🤩

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

​@bluejay6229 Congratulations Sis, I hope you come out Summa Cum Laude!

[@theoreticalviews2939]

Yep, proximity to resources (i.e. money) seems to often satisfy the xy addiction.

[@TheRoyalMadnessPodcast]

Oh my goodness the nerve of her 😂😂😂...it's a shame it's a crime to have a plan just in case things go crazy.

[@justsomeinternetuser]

I think she got brainwashed and i feel bad for her!

[@I.am.hooked]

​@@justsomeinternetusershe will soon find out the hard way.

[@lewid019]

That pick me life 😂

[@tlrcarroll]

My adult daughter showed me a video a few days ago of a model who identifies as a “trad wife”an in the moment made a grilled cheese sandwich by making the bread and cheese from scratch then made the sandwich 🥪 for her kids. The video was edited as though she had done all of that in the same day and time. Easy peasy. I laughed so hard. 😂

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Her name is Nora. You should see how Estee Williams cooks. Her bread looks atrocious, but she has a bunch of simps in her comments who act like she is a kitchen goddess 💀.

[@childless-gato-lady]

In theory, I support cosplay. I enjoy wearing either pirate or Star Trek cosplay. But I wouldn't tell every woman the only way to live is to go ransacking villages (and if only there was a transporter to beam me off this planet away from the trad wives). Seriously, it is fetishizing the June Cleaver wearing pearls and doing housework or Carol Brady with housekeeper Alice lifestyles that was not a reality for a lot of women of the 50s to 70s (I should know because I am a kid of the 70s).

[@BurbNBougie]

Your imagery made me laugh

[@islandgirl8067]

It’s a shame that a woman gets so many clicks & views for glamorizing the SAHM image. The women who portray it more realistically should have more subbies.

[@umhi9778]

People like happy fantasies over reality

[@elenawalker517]

In order for these menz to hook you snag you. You have to buy into the dream the fantasy of being married. Abandoning your mental faculties for the sake of relationships.

[@Jujubean9795]

It’s been working fine on women for the last several hundred years. People underestimate the power of (religious) brainwashing.

[@studiosandi]

Truth❤ And I think the same thing happens with religion You have to put a side your good sense in order to believe a bunch of BS.

[@elenawalker517]

@@Jujubean9795I agree absolutely 👍🏿

[@rnbsteenstar]

No true relationship would ever expect that of you.

[@dvn.pod.2023]

@@studiosandiI agree to a certain extent. I find that much of evangelical and puritanical Christianity espouses these notions and ingrains them into many women’s heads. I’m glad we’re finally calling this stuff out. It’s nearly as bad as the evangelical purity culture movement.

[@kirstin1000]

The trad wife with the electrician husband made me almost spit out my coffee. My dad was an electrician when I was a kid. He was working constantly, and even with a degree, made scraps. My mom was the primary breadwinner as a nurse and later, real estate agent. She did her best to pick up the slack and that, according to her, is what broke their marriage apart. I'm not saying all electricians are gonna be in the same boat, but I couldn't help but relate just to that part alone.

[@bluejay6229]

I was an electrician apprentice at one point for a few months and going by what I saw and heard from the men in construction, I’m not surprised.

[@zenya9620]

​@@bluejay6229why? What happens? What do they do?

[@erenssister.5535]

Her dad is rich. All her siblings went to an expensive schools and has a PHD. She is loaded herself. That's why I call cap. Her content is soft p0rn for men.

[@XCaptianXChaosX]

I have never been married. Not my thing. But i was a stay at home mom. My ex was a doctor. He was really abusive. In many ways. He wouldn't let us leave the house. He had cameras everywhere. Other stuff that's way worse. I collected evidence of the abuse for 7yrs. I started an online store to earn some money and got a restraining order (after he attacked me and blocked me from calling for help). i ran to another state and had my new address redacted. I'm still dealing with the ex in court because we share a child, but i can breathe again. I met a great guy after i moved and gained a partner and two stepkids. I'm happy now, but it took a long time and a lot of trauma to get there. If you want this traditional dynamic, the best advice i can give is to find a way to have your own money. Even a side hustle. It will also give you something to put on a future resume if things go pear shaped.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

If a woman gets a job. She no longer will be in a traditional relationship. It just goes to show that traditional relationships have a lot of cons, and women should know that they are “enter at your own risk”. You give good advice though. I think a more realistic take is to be a SAHM because they work, but it’s within the home, so online businesses or remote office work.

[@ethxo6734]

My uncle passed away 2 weeks ago. Leaving behind his wife and 2 children. The wife has no education, no work experience, they didn’t own their own, she will have to move back home with her mom. It’s sad. My uncle didn’t have life insurance or much in savings. He was 36years old.

[@LilithsCosmicLounge]

Damn!!! My heart goes out to her. She has to start over. She can do it though!! She has to apply for assistance and be on it for a little while… everyone has to start from somewhere. She can go to community college and get a associates degree. Then she can get her bachelors. She needs housing and that waiting lists are long but she can get on it anyway. She will be tired but it will be worth it!!

[@strawbraryliberry4604]

The trad wife thing is totally a fetish or fantasy. It's best left in fantasy. It's not real. It is distilled reality. I definitely think there are a lot of reasons more people have this fantasy at this timein history- but it shouldn't be taken too seriously, people need to understand that it's dangerous to pin your future on relying entirely on another person. It's definitely not realistic, especially the less privileged you are. However, I think some women view it as a way out of being forced to do and be everything. Being the primary parent, working a full time job, doing more of the housework, and probably being in charge of meals & shopping, not having time for anything & not seeing your family as much. Being a stay at home parent seems like a great solution to have a potentially more equitable situation than we saw our career mothers have in the 90s. But people have to remember, it may not be equitable at all, there's a reason women went to work, and it's because we weren't free before. I like what is said on this channel. It's not stay home or don't- it's make sure you & your kids are taken care of in case something happens & the situation changes.

[@reachoneteachonedenmark815]

Yesss femininity is individual for each woman

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

True 💯

[@MN-hv5xv]

lol I think a lot of this content from trad wives is just that!! CONTENT. I really don’t think these women would dress up and put makeup on everyday if they didn’t have social media 😂

[@jayogee913]

Lots of their followers are men. They make money off these dudes' clicks and donations.

[@NobodyImporttant]

It’s capitalizing on male fantasies

[@toughcookie6144]

I’ve been married for 10yrs and largely do not experience these issues that you speak on (aside from unequal division of chores but the man work 6days a week so I let him slide lol)…. I enjoy your videos because A) it reminds me of how lucky I am that my husband has a strong take not sh*t mother who taught him and his brother well & B) it reminds me why I’ll never date again if something happened to my husband. I was one of these women who was taught and conditioned to be a doormat and had a string of TERRIBLE and TOXIC relationship before I chose to be celibate and then met my husband some time later. My only advice is to focus on yourself!!!! Find a hobby, be happy in your career, spend time with your family and friends…. A man who is worth your time will not take over your life, he will add to it and encourage the things you enjoy!!!!

[@deirdremorris9234]

True! I had a high paying sales job: a 14 month contract. Not once did my husband become jealous. And now that we have 1 teen left, he has been fully supporting my art. ❤

[@ambrosia-venusbelladonna835]

@toughcookie6144 Your husband goes to work clocks in and clocks out 6 days a week. YOU however are working at home 24hrs day 7days per week. He gets paid by an employer, probably has retirement set up, gets a vacation. YOU DON'T get paid, you can't simply "retire" from housework (because it always needs to be done); and you don't get vacation. It's HIS house just as much as it is your house. He needs to participate in taking care of it. One thing you need to understand YOU ARE BOTH WORKING. Except he's getting paid; you're not. Alot of us Millennials and Gen Z Women who are educated about Women's History and are critical thinkers do not want a Man who doesn't participate in taking care of his own household and is very emotionally distant from his children. I notice that people have this mentality where as long as a "Man" goes to work and doesn't beat you then he's defined as a "Good Man". First of all a Man going to work is not enough to say he's a "Good Man" that's like saying knowing how to take a pulse is enough to make you a Good Doctor. That simply is not the case. Getting up and going to work is what grown folks do. It's the basic requirement. Secondly, Men don't go to work to provide for their family they go to work for themselves because if your Husband was single he would still need to go to work to pay his bills and put food on his own d*** table. I hope you understand that and make sure your Man participates in caring for the house. If he really loves you he will be happy to do it. If he objects then tell him to pay someone for everything you do and see how much that adds up. If he refuses he is using you to make HIS life easier. Then plan your exit, save up as much as you can, take all the assets, then leave.

[@madelynnazario8361]

Great advice!

[@toughcookie6144]

@@ambrosia-venusbelladonna835 I work full time at home, and he works outside the home. Both of us bring in income and both of us clean. I don’t have to run down the whole list, but when I say unequal division of labor I’m referring to the fact that I cook almost all of our meals and he literally is not home for most of the week because he leave at 6am and gets home after 10 most nights. He has not always worked this schedule and he is literally doing this so that we can live in the best school district and have a house with a yard for our kids. While I did say unequal, let me be clear that I am not a maid or a slave …. I just do more because I’m home more. I’m not a stay at home mom, although I’d like to be lol. I work, I wrote a book, I craft, I take care of our 3kids and I love tf out the man who is breaking his body to make our lives easier and work towards our future goals. There are so many more reasons that my particular man is my best friend and a good man, but the main one is that he has never ever wanted anything but the best for me… the second one is how much he misses his children because he is not home so he makes up for it by doing as much as possible when he gets home. We are a team. I understand a lot of women are not able to say the same and for them, I absolutely recommend they take your advice. But I’m good over here lol which is why I’ll never date again if something happens to him or to us. I’m not willing to roll the dice!

[@multicrafter639]

What gets me about some of these "trad wives" on social media is there is nothing "trad" about social media. These women are building followings and earning income from their presence on these apps. Are they handing their earnings over to their husbands? I don't think so. That's the true grift.

[@briana14333]

💯💯💯

[@Marivi247]

Ironically, many really rich couples do make a lot of contracts before marriage. My parents have a lot of rich friends, they were born rich. The woman studied and afterwards stayed home with the children, organized socializing events etc. The man worked in his own company. They had a contract that said for each year that they are married, she would get a certain financial recompensation in case of divorce. They are still married, their children are grown up, he might retire soon. So the traditional high class woman is far from being in financial danger in case he dies or divorces her. I feel getting into extreme financial risk is more something lower class women are brainwashed to do with some questions like If you trust him you don’t need any financial security, etc. Also in these older times, divorce was more rare and not seen so well even for men, my grandfather had to pay my grandmother a very high alimony for the rest of her life and he left her the house. Today (at least in Germany) alimony after divorce is very low and it’s only for a very short time. So the conditions are different today, it’s not comparable to the 1950s, you need additional protection as a woman.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Yes, this lifestyle only works if you and your partner are rich. Even without a contract, a rich woman will be ok because her parents will support her after the divorce, or her trust fund or assets gotten during the marriage will be support her and her kids. Regular women won’t get to experience these privileges.

[@racqueldillon3560]

I think the women who take offense to the conversation regarding trad wives vs independence are saying more about themselves than those they speak against. I recall posting a comment on post about this single young lady who wanted to find a rich man and stay at home. I told her I hope she finds it but that have her own because her man could become sick, die or she could get divorced and "half" wasnt guaranteed. She cussed me out. But we see this every day in real life. I think they need to believe they can find a good man who will take care of them happily ever after despite the fact that there is abundant evidence of how rare that is.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Girls like her will find out the hard way.

[@beepbopboop7727]

You still look cute to me. Even mid sentence.

[@TheRacqgrl769]

I had no choice but to stay at home after I had my daughter. The pregnancy almost killed me, and it was almost a year after her birth that I started to feel "normal" and could walk without assistance again. I hated being at home all the time. I was fortunate that my girl slept all the time after eating, so I actually was able to rest. I was severely bored, and there's only so much cleaning one can do. I have always credited SAHM's with the ability to do it without seeming to go crazy. My mother was never a SAHM, as most BW were never in this role anyway. It was good to add the article that this "trad wife" popularity is rooted in WS, because it's something that no one is really talking about it. Of course Amerikkka loves to harken back to times when the only people who had any semblance of rights were none of the people included in them today...including WW, but they seem to forget that. I do have dresses that I like to wear when cleaning the house. It's because I sweat less and my dresses never get caught on things. I've had issues with my pantlegs finding things to wrap around, so I don't bother when in heavy-duty cleaning mode. These dresses are not things in which I'd want to be seen or photographed. They are strictly for getting housework done. They are not fashionable at all. Finally, I have to say that I admire that you're not only a WFHM (a better way of thinking of it, to my mind), you're also homeschooling your children. That takes a lot of patience and creativity. I appreciate that you also take the time to create great content that's changing the world.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

SAHM did go crazy. Drug and alcohol use was rampant during the 50’s because SAHM had a hard time coping with their lives.

[@myheart715]

Whenever that blonde girl comes across my screen, I get a little freaked out. She reminds me of a Stepford wife, like she’s putting on an act and playing a role.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

She is. Her name is Estee Williams, and her content is mean to appeal to the male fantasy. Her backstory is that her siblings are all successful, so she resorted to being a content creator in order to find her grift.

[@ZARA-to9fp]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809not to forget, her sister is in politics and Estee ist a failed actress.

[@MBJean]

Yes exactly, it’s freaking embarrassing really

[@sally180]

I love this❤ I am a mother to my children and yet I work hard on the farm every day. I am so sick of the reduction of women to a sexual object and household appliance. We were held as more valuable all throughout prehistory in tribes, through the agricultural ages and ceased relatively recently. Women have always been equal wisdom holders, producers, creators and healers. It’s a shame that this very narrow elite viewpoint has invaded popular culture and the psyche of the masses. Such a disservice to men and women and has robbed us of so much of our “humanity” in the ability to hold both traits. My mother was from Irish immigrants and convict slaves. My father was from indigenous and Latin immigrants. Women in my family have worked since day dot….. mainly on the land.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

This isn’t true. Women have always been seen as less than, but I will say that our roles were more respected in the sense that men understood that we played an important role. That still doesn’t mean that we were seen as equal.

[@sally180]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 aboriginal women, Native American women were held in higher esteem pre agricultural evolution

[@shantavanee]

You are highlighting the TRUTH of depending on another person for your well being and existence. Now with the cost of living being as high as it is…it just financially makes sense to have two paychecks coming into a household instead of just one. #TeamBougie💯🙌🏽

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

That heffa has audacity! She’s a hater! I enjoyed this video. Thank you Burb.❤

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

The uno reverse is real😹😹😹

[@TiyaLeonard-jf7og]

She’s a light Blk woman cos playing a life BLACK women NEVER lived. Those WW had “HELP” in the 1950s BLACK HELP. That made their WHITE life easier. I currently at home after a strenuous career. I came home and said “I’m done” He’s been the breadwinner since. I know I have to get back out there: self worth, and bills. I’m enjoying it for now.

[@erinrising2799]

I don't think they even have seen real people from the 50's, they are confusing them with the movies and TV of the 50's. They are trying to recapture a past that never truly existed.

[@karinal75]

It is so important to be able to support yourself. Life is business and everything is paywalled regardless of gender. When you cannot support yourself other people will give up their lives to support you if they’re kind. Most people will leave you hanging.

[@C-SD]

To add to the list of non divorce reasons to have money set aside. My husband died on 12-22 at the age of 46. He had an asthma attack bad enough his brain suffocated. Other than that he was healthy. We weren't able to put aside money because that requires extra money after bills. I am incredibly lucky that he had a 10k life insurance policy that neither øne of us knew about. The funeral alone was $6,500. I do have a good suppirt system and our daughter is in her 20s and self sufficient so losing 80% of our income doesn't affect her income.

[@alexoceanmeow]

I honestly find a lot of, idk, sincerity? in your videos bc you are a married woman. You're not sugar coating anything, and you're not doom posting lol. What you are is aware and, for example, I learned about ppbros from you lol. Keep posting!

[@LilithsCosmicLounge]

Being a SAHM is a horrible idea. It’s not realistic. Always work ladies!! Have a secret account your partner doesn’t know about and save!! Get a life insurance policy on your husband/ boyfriend! Especially if you have kid’s!! Never trust a man to take care of you no matter your age. Men don’t take good care of themselves either so men will pass away before you. Keep your health up and eat as healthy as you can afford. Balance your stress and please have a retirement plan for yourself. Start saving as early as you can!!

[@christinea6692]

Not everyone is cool with putting their kids in daycare for a paycheck.

[@Chechi-yf9lz]

You'll have to do it anyways if things go sideways😂like it makes you a bad mom for protecting your future and your kids future should something happen....think long term

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@christinea6692 That’s fine, but when your hubby leaves you, and your kids are daycare age… what are you going to do? Make grandma watch them for free? That’s not fair to her, and not everyone has a grandma who is willing or able to watch grandkids all day. Bottom line is you need to set yourself and children up for success, even if that means working part-time so that you have your own money in the event that something happens.

[@briajewel121]

@@christinea6692 There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM. Don't let these women scare you. However, you can learn from women who were SAHM who failed to protect themselves. In other words, if you choose to be SAHM, make sure you have money & policies in place if you choose to no longer stay married or if your husband passes away. The problem is not the Role, the problem is the lack of protection. All women, single, married, and divorce, must have things in place for them simply to survive without struggling. The reality most women, including married women, are living paycheck to paycheck.

[@shikhasophia2784]

​@@briajewel121 lol nonsense housewife don't need money as they live for their children and hisband

[@beardoodle9835]

I'm so sick and tired of this "trad wife" bs. It didn't exist. Yes, wealthy women weren't expected to work. Yes, there was a very, very, VERY short time period during the mid-century 1900s when the middle class was at it's peak when women could stay home and be a housewife full time. But even then, most women still worked outside the home! My grandmother, who was born in 1900 (I'm an accident baby of an accident baby, so when I was born, my grandmother was already in her late seventies 😂), was a school teacher her whole life (and my grandfather was a superintendent). My mom was also a school teacher her whole life, starting in the 60s (she taught Earth Science and CVAE). My other grandmother worked in her family's business her whole life. Even after she got cancer, she still went to work every day. The only woman I know in my extended family who was an actual housewife was my husband's grandmother, but she worked outside the home too, until her husband got a very, very well paying job. The whole trad wife cosplay bs is absolutely ridiculous. 🙄

[@attitudeproblem6462]

She's only _24_ and selling that lifestyle???😒😒😒

[@beepbopboop7727]

She is in the upper limits. She better be careful.

[@melissam6037]

I thought I knew everything at that age too 😂

[@Mira-gu6we]

She has no kids either.

[@ambrosia-venusbelladonna835]

Alot of us Millennials and Gen Z Women who are educated about Women's History and are critical thinkers do not want a Man who doesn't participate in taking care of his own household and is very emotionally distant from his children. I notice that people have this mentality where as long as a "Man" goes to work and doesn't beat you then he's defined as a "Good Man". First of all a Man going to work is not enough to say he's a "Good Man" that's like saying knowing how to take a pulse is enough to make you a Good Doctor. That simply is not the case. Getting up and going to work is what grown folks do. It's the basic requirement. Secondly, Men don't go to work to provide for their family they go to work for themselves because if your Husband was single he would still need to go to work to pay his bills and put food on his own d*** table. I hope you understand that and make sure your Man participates in caring for the house. If he really loves you he will be happy to do it. If he objects then tell him to pay someone for everything you do and see how much that adds up. If he refuses he is using you to make HIS life easier. Then plan your exit, save up as much as you can, take all the assets, leave. We want Men that support us FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND SPIRITUALLY.

[@bettedavismydears1521]

Someone was TRIGGERED lol!!!

[@esemusic8294]

But the jokes in her cos you still looked cute in the photo she used. 😅

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Yes she did

[@esemusic8294]

@@kayshawnsimmons5585 🙌🏾💜

[@starlingswallow]

I have to share: My mom and dad both come from highly abusive families, just different kinds of abuse~some similar... My moms parents were alcoholics, violent alcoholics (her mom sounds like the wife in story 7:21, 1950's, husband at war, came home with ptsd, drank away his horror and took it out on everyone as well) think my grandma chasing my grandpa around with a knife, grandpa driving my mom and her siblings around drunk, etc. my dads mom had polio and almost died, then was in a wheelchair for years. His dad was angry and when his mom came back from being in an iron lung, things were a mess. My gamma had tons of anxiety, the house needed to look like a museum (that clean), all 5 kids had to be little adults with no emotions so as to "not upset Mom", but I think it was to not upset their dad who was a rage-aholic. My mom went to nursing school to gtfo of her parents home. She was severely neglected as a child, hid herself in books and academics to escape the madness and her 2 siblings turned to drink after their parents, along with drugs 😢 As children, my siblings and I were to be seen and not heard, which was strange. We were kids!! We were parentified as children and then infantalized as adults. What a 🧠🤬 The I married at 24 wanting to be the _perfect_ Christian trad wife... but I ended up working FT with my ex's businesses, no paycheck, no voice, no calls on decisions, and when I left I had just about nothing.... Thank you BNB for your channel! I'm so grateful you are bringing CLEAR awareness to the pitfalls of this kind of living!! ❤❤❤❤

[@studiosandi]

You are a beacon of light to the lost sisters in misogyny ❤

[@thepoliticalcat]

My grandmother worked literally from sunrise to sundown, growing food to feed her children, selling any leftover produce for cash, taking 24 children to school (only 5 of whom were hers), feeding and watering the animals she kept for milk, meat, and eggs. She survived the Great to Depression and WW II, and still worked every day of her life till she died.

[@Callimo]

Let's not forget the other side of the trad wife life: could these same "tradwives" trust that their "traditional husbands" could pick up the slack in case anything happened to *them*? Because they're human too, and not impervious to death, disease, or injury. These ladies have a very fantastical sense of life so I dunno if anyone should trust them.

[@Its.giselle234]

Most men leave when a wife gets sick and probably do not even know what to do in order to cook and clean for themselves.

[@ccannon1]

They literally just find another woman to do it. For some men, it’s the same as an employer(man)/employee(woman) relationship.

[@Its.giselle234]

@@ccannon1 Until he gets sick with a deliberating illness and treats the woman like garbage because he is miserable

[@amirini24]

Life insurance ladies!!!

[@jayogee913]

And make him pay for it!

[@propainaccessories]

Most men don't make enough for full coverage. I've seen payouts like 50k. That isn't much if there is a reverse mortgage, the cost of a funeral and kids in college yet alone a wife to live until she passea away. Unless your spouse had a million dollar policy, life insurance is not going to be stability. It will stabilize. Maybe a year or two. Also, not many policies pay out. Another post of an adjuster said a man's policy was rejected because his wife's condition was considered pre existing that she died from. They returned his monthly payments but it wasn't much to bury her and raise their kids. My dad has a policy that he pays a lot for so his family can cash out a major policy but he has that policy since 1971. He paid in since he was 30.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Life insurance isn’t a magical cure. Not every policy pays out what you’re owed, it could be years before you get paid, and the amount you get is supposed to help get through tough times while you look for a job.

[@DeMarkeba]

I know of a number of stories where the husband/breadwinner ended up sick, disabled or dead and the wives and finances were struggling so much. One of the women was pregnant at the time her finance was killed on the job. The stress of it all affected the child.

[@snippetx1632]

It's wild to me that we have insurance on every aspect of our lives, but then women go all in on men. No back up plan sis? Really?! I mean, you could have the best man in the world. What if he passes and you have 4 kids? Lmfao.

[@kyrabarr2846]

Thank you @BurbNBougie for providing a space for women to interact, grow and learn. You are appreciated!

[@monicawitherspoon6627]

What happens when, the providers means of income (unbeknownst to the spouse) is illegal and he goes to prison? What happens if he loses his job? Even with the best intentions people die. I don't think it's unreasonable or hypocritical to be prepared and stay vigilant.

[@trinsit]

Great video. Solid information

[@BurbNBougie]

Appreciate it!

[@mansanayanaranjado]

There is no such thing as bad publicity! She's gonna make you more popular!

[@dharma6481]

You can tell you’ve made it when they pile on to try to pull you down! Keep up the good work getting the word out to the young ladies.

[@TarynBell]

I have a loving husband and I don’t think he would ever leave me destitute but your videos constantly come up on my feed and it’s made me rethink becoming a stay at home mom. I told my husband I’m going back to school and that I’m probably going to continue to work. He said he feels like he has whiplash because I wanted to be a SAHM and now I’ve flipped it but he said he knows I can become anything I want to be and is supporting me through it.

[@Karina_Engr]

You got a very cute family, Burbs. You dress like a femm athlete ❤ with your "whole huzband" 😂

[@havingfunisnthard]

The picture of your family at the end is so sweet ♥️ many great points here! Thanks for the video.

[@rowdybliss]

Like my grandmother always used to say: people always want to tear down the tall oak! When haters come for you, you know you’ve sruck a nerve!

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Thank you for this.

[@noona514]

I think if you are a SAHM you need to have a financial agreement to take care of you like: he puts aside a Roth IRA for you or pays off your student loans at least.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

I can get behind this, but women need to make sure that the money is being allocated to them, so financially literacy needs to be promoted. It boggles my mind how many women were told by their husbands that they put money in various places for them, but after he passes, and they go to the bank it turns out no deposites were made.

[@briana14333]

Agreed

[@07Flash11MRC]

To all the women out there: NEVER rely on men. Get a good education, ideally a stem degree, and go for the best jobs you can get. Never let any man stop you and use your labor for his success.

[@Back_and_Better_Than_You]

They all think it can’t happen to them… until it does.

[@ButterflyBree]

Yesssss!! There's no one size fits all for how families or women should look. We're all different. Like you, I'm mainly in workout clothes, specifically hiking cargo pants, a pullover jacket, and hiking shoes. I was super prissy when I was younger but I'm not in the era of my life now. Life acn life your best laid plans.

[@t.taylor1611]

Thank you for sharing

[@noxiouschocolate9644]

you may like to read the story of the “a story of a f-ck off fund”on by Paulette Perhach, while it doesn’t talk specifically about trad wives, she talks about how she would have been able to get away from an abusive bf and creepy boss if she had started building one when she graduated, it really stuck with me.

[@amirini24]

😂free advertisement

[@llechatton]

I wish someone would do a survey of trad wife influencers on their Pre-nup and whether it will actually protect them or not.

[@nzingasrebellion2374]

These women fail to realize that a loaf a bread cost 5 cents in 1950. My grandparents could feed 9 kids, pay household bills, and put gas in the car with $50.00 ever other week on my grandfather’s salary.

[@stasiaerickson9342]

I'm a moderately conservative woman who can't stand this whole "trad wife" trend. You covered most of my reasons for disliking it in this video. Thank you. 💕

[@higurashikai09]

I don't know the woman personally, but a tenant in one of the apartments I work in occasionally for plumbing lost her husband last year to an allergic reaction to a bee sting. The family was up north camping when it happened, he was airlifted to hospital but did not survive. She has three kids and rents an apartment. I'm not sure what kind of life insurance he may have had, but I cannot imagine having to provide for three kids alone while paying for rent. I don't know if she works or if she was a stay at home mom, but I think about how fast you can lose someone. Always have a plan B because you don't know what tomorrow will bring.

[@walkabouthouston5476]

I wish these trad wives would show me how to clean rust stains in the toilet. I've used a couple of different products, no luck. Maybe they have something they made from scratch. Of course, that's not part of their shtick.

[@corimoon3360]

Girl just go to google or find a KZbin video you’re already here lol

[@maam-yj8ph]

ADN is an associates degree in nursing, not an advanced degree.

[@BurbNBougie]

Apologies! Thank you for the correction

[@alasharper7344]

If that's the worse picture she could find of you, then baby you doing good cuz that pic is still cute lol

[@ZARA-to9fp]

Trad Wife must be American thing because here in Europe, women have always worked. Maybe the rich Elite not but the rest was always working. In fact my mom was send at the age of 6 to work for a richer family.

[@kyrabarr2846]

Every woman should be able to represent themselves in a manner that makes them feel comfortable, relaxed and secure in who they are as an individual human being. All I ask of other women is to respect others as they want to be respected. I have no problem with a traditional wife a mother who works, a single woman who is not married, or the woman who is married but does not want to have children. As long as that woman grants to me the same thing that I'm giving to her; respect and common courtesy Where we fail as women is that we sometimes can be cruel and dismissive of other women's experiences just because they are not our own. I have seen other women bully other women who do not think ,act, dress or behave as they do, and that's where women must change. If the goal is for women to be free, then we must be free in our unique expressions. We should be able to agree and disagree with one another without tearing each other down.

[@BurbNBougie]

You've been on my page long enough to know that I make space for women of all kinds. Even my petty morning shout outs include women in various lots of life. And I will continue to make space for women.

[@kyrabarr2846]

@@BurbNBougie My comment was meant to encourage women of all lifestyles. I had no intention for my comment to be taken the way that it was. It was only meant to encourage and support others. If you would like please let me know and I will gladly remove my comment because I do not want to in any way take away from your message.

[@BurbNBougie]

Thanks for expounding

[@kyrabarr2846]

@@BurbNBougie You're welcome, I really do care.

[@truthseeker3967]

Great comment! Life is hard enough, and we all have our different race marked out for us, and our different life challenges and struggles. A little mercy and compassion goes a long way.

[@starlingswallow]

So, a part of the SAHM situation is taking a gamble 😳 I wonder what the chances are that the hubby will befall some injury that will put the whole family in a spot! Better to not take chances!! Make your own money so you have a back up plan for all KINDS of potential circumstances! If I would have stayed with my ex, I'm pretty sure he would have cheated on me, eventually. This human-monster almost destroyed me. I can't even imagine the irreparable damage he would have caused my psyche if he'd have cheated after not sleeping with me for 4+ years at the end! That neglect was brutal!!😢

[@debrawehrly6900]

Great video!

[@BurbNBougie]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@cassiedeehoo]

Calling it Cosplay is super accurate!! if it was a true, conservative traditional marriage, she wouldn’t be allowed to have her a little business Cosplaying online. And having her Cosplaying social media business is her back up. It is her plan B whether she admits it or not. I’m going to mention again. This is about traditional wives I’m assuming in America. Or is it Canada. This isn’t about traditional wives in Asia , traditional lives in India, traditional wives in Mexico. Traditional lives in Africa, etc. you get the idea. And I don’t mean to the Hollywood versions.

[@RaccoonsTrashVault]

It's so funny when people don't know the meaning of words and use them regardless. You have been honest about how you waited to get married til you had a stable career and found the right person, there's no grift in that. Women like this are often projecting their insecurities, because they don't wanna admit that they don't have a way out or a way to support themselves. Hope they break out from it.

[@the.masked.one.studio4899]

💖

[@Its.giselle234]

Can we also talk about the wife school sebinars they hold?

[@wanjawandia1786]

I am thankful for these kinds of videos. I’ve always wanted to be a SAHM and housewife. The “tradwife” vids and other SAHM KZbinrs never talked about this side of life as a possibility. After seeing these stories I still want to be a SAHM but I will most definitely go about it the smart way. I’m already on the track of obtaining my degree nd I plan on keeping my skills sharp even when I become a SAHM. Thank you very much for these videos. You are amazing.

[@BurbNBougie]

💖💖🫂🫂

[@ExoticalsUnited]

You don’t even look bad in the screenshot 😂 her plan failed

[@Lola_rey]

That is not a "trad wife" that's a stepford wife.

[@notahater3365]

Beautiful family! ❤

[@BurbNBougie]

Thank you! 🤗

[@cassiedeehoo]

Also, for people whether it’s a mother or grandmother. Aunts, or church ladies or whatever cult of choice. Pressuring, younger generations of women to have children young. It doesn’t help those young women, and it certainly doesn’t help them either in the long run My narcissistic mother pressured me into a toxic situation with a toxic man when I was very young. I thought it was going to be temporary and then I leave. But then I found out. I was getting pressure by so many people mostly women and some men that somehow because this guy liked me, and he was a nice(tothem) that I should stay. I felt it was all wrong. I communicated that. The usual reply from them was that only God knows if he’s the right person for me. So long story short I was impregnated without my consent. Anyway, most of these people I’m talking about, didn’t even know each other, but they have the same kind of toxic covert mind set or behavior. And it is an about giving life at a young age. It’s about putting young people who have healthy ambition, who have real opportunities to do some thing with your life it’s a way of Stopping them from doing any of that. Not always but often. Sometimes, even in the hopes that it damages your body, so you don’t have a “good figure” anymore

[@BigBiteDoughnut]

Yeah im conservative and have been speaking on this for like 10 years. #paymoms its a job!

[@onycagayle4485]

❤

[@Theemackxo]

Beautiful family luv that for u

[@Taylor-f5s]

This is why I laugh at the women who say my man pay all the bills

[@Tyster81]

Just to clarify, ADN is an associate degree nursing. Not advanced. Referring to an advanced degree means she has a master's degree and is likely an advanced practice nurse= nurse practitioner

[@dharma6481]

“Trad wife” actually making money with social media has a job - “actress”. I’m 60, was a stay at home mom from 32 on (with 2 kids under 2). We both had excellent jobs (I made 50% more than my husband), saved half our take home to prepare for one of us spending a few years home. I would never think of myself as a “trad wife”, I was ready to jump back into workforce for years, luckily we made enough that that wasn’t necessary. We are now retired, neither of has to work, have savings (split equally in each of our names) that makes this possible. This is NOT the norm and impossible for 99+% of couples.

[@roxycauldwell544]

Holy hell just because you are in a GOOD marriage doesn't mean you can't warn other women of red flags and bad marriages 👀

[@BurbNBougie]

Correct. I need to just push marriage to everyone.

[@melissahardiman5203]

You have a beautiful family and seem very down to earth good job honey women today still have to work it takes two incomes to make it today

[@tulip811]

They should spend some time with oldschool Mennonites or Baptists. Their men are always hard working and at home ☺️ always have good advice. Too bad it's just the boomers and their grandsons suck 😃

[@ambiebby1636]

That verse from The Bible that people seem to keep misquoting and using out of context is about giving in secret. It has nothing to do with stashing away money for a rainy day 🤦‍♀️

[@Machenziethemodel]

They are living in a fantasy and sound lazy. How do you have one person control everything. They are trying to live up to a TV Show.

[@starbrite526]

I think it's weird when you're in so deep that you don't want to call out the institution you are in. Like they may be good points about it but at the same time, if you can't point out the faults in what you may want to change for the better, what's the point.

[@BigBiteDoughnut]

Free publicity!

[@Phxiey]

Did all the religious traditions wives skip proverbs 31 or does their bible not have that?

[@dity9442]

Good point.

[@zrivs669]

Estee is not a mom, she’s a housewife. I’m sure that’s why she has so much time!