Transactional Analysis Life Script Explained (TA)

[@flugelmuffin]

Thank you so much for these videos. You explain the concepts beautifully.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for your kind words of support, it means a lot. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@ethereal946]

When I feel bad I say I’m unwanted and other people have it better than me. Life feels like a cruel game someone set up just to see how much I can take. Saying that out loud it’s so victimy that I can’t certainly believe this logically? But in the heat of the moment all these feelings are so very real I can’t deny them.

[@gailrosenberg8754]

The reason I picked the Cinderella story is because in the end, there was justice for her. All the suffering she went thru at the hands of the step mother and sisters did not kill her spirit and her life vastly improved as she persevered. In my real life, the justice has not come yet. I was in a long, emotionally abusive marriage and finally got the courage to leave almost 4 years ago. Still putting the pieces of myself back together.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thanks for sharing your fairy tale. Cinderella certainly has parallels with your own life. I hope you get your happy ending soon. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@bjaMoke]

Friend you are really knocking out it of the park! Fantastic practical and deep insights --everyone should learn in college.. Well explained and excellent. PS Can I ask you to kindly consider a change of screen background? It is super dark and grim.

[@ulkhanns510]

Well, when I thought of a story, I thought of Dragon Ball. It concerns the "monkey boy" (this story borrowed some elements from the Chinese tale Journey to the West). Goku, the monkey kid, was shown as unique and extraordinary. He has a lot of expectations. He is powerful and capable of anything. As soon as Goku overcomes one foe, a stronger foe appears, necessitating Goku's constant adaptation, development, and toughening. Because of their financial situation, my parents reasoned that if I had strong standards for success, I wouldn't fail, I would achieve, and I would climb the social ladder. It messed me up, I had a Hurry up and Be perfect driver. I was never happy with my accomplishments. Even though I've now slowed down and realized that it's okay to act optimally in a given situation, I still occasionally feel depressed. The issue might arise earlier in my youth than I anticipated, as Pamela Levin pointed out. However, MAKE A DECISION because it is FREE. The way you are is OK. Everything for which you strive is acceptable. WE LOVE YOU!

[@LewisPsychology]

Thanks for sharing your insights Ulkhan. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@honifit]

I could not do the exercise as I don't remember any story told to me in childhood. Maybe nobody ever read me a story.

[@Qihello]

I actually like Beauty and the Beast. The beast even though looking scary and mean actually is a prince with love and integrity and nobility but it took a Belle who could see beyond his rough exterior to love him for who he was, so he could transform into the prince. Beast is also stuck isolated in a castle warn away on his away, bitter and scary. Sometimes i guess, i feel like the beast eventhough im quite a lovely person, and i want someone with immense love and patience to allow me to transform into the prince... Sometimes im belle. Maybe thats my motivation for the drama triangle... To see if theyll love me regardless

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s very interesting and insightful, thank you for sharing. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@annekennedy2142]

Cinderella's ugly sisters feelings of envy, I'm ok/you're not ok: invisible voiceless father: step mother feeling threatened ; prince connecting with inner beauty (as all girls were bedecked in finery, hair, make-up, jewels),, not the Shallow Hal I had previously thought him, falling for outward appearances - which gives me huge learning for myself; fairy godmother empowering; mice, pumpkin - supportive. I'm finding this exercise very useful in feeling into the positions of each of the characters, bringing compassion to the step mother and step sisters. Thank you

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for sharing your insights Anne. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@Helen-iz7qv]

Thank you, this was really informative and a massive eye-opener. I picked the Princess and the Pea. I loved the Ladybird book with all the mattresses! I knew I would have felt the pea. I think it was that I knew who I was deep down but I had to be someone else to fit into the role of who I should be in a large family, leaving it to everyone else to work out who I really was, rather than me telling them. But no-one did so I have continued to play that role ever since, rather than be the real me, and never getting the 'handsome prince'. And firmly in the victim role of the drama triangle. I'm finally beginning to understand what's going on here. Thank you again.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for sharing your insights, that’s so interesting. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@mebellamebella8205]

Thanks for the informative share. Love wat hing to all your videos.

[@LewisPsychology]

Glad you like them! Best wishes, Teresa.

[@damian1standup]

That is literaly the short version for the layman of the "What do you say after you say hello". Nicely organised and nicely put. Thank you for that. Probably is going to help a lot of people.

[@classicalbum]

I couldn't do the exercise as i wasn't aware of such fairytails when i was a child - none of them. I only discovered them as I got older

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s okay, you can still do this exercise. What fairytale resonates with you? Best wishes, Teresa.

[@darrenc.8663]

I appreciate your videos, I learn a lot. Thank you. I followed it to the Driver video as well. I’m thinking these concepts connect to Attachment Theory as well. Does the data support this correlation?

[@LewisPsychology]

Thanks Darren. Yes, the life script does correlate to attachment theory. It’s also very similar to CBT core beliefs. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@kinny2023]

Thank you for the video, I am writing from Japan. My English may not be perfect but... the idea of using the story is great and I wonder if it can be updated, say, you choose the story and actor as you like??? if I advanced this methods?

[@emekdenizdemirci]

Thanks for the video Teresa. Im 39 and i honestly cant remember any of the fairy tales, may be couple of cartoons only. I have always thought that life was a never ending loop and i have been repeating myself since day one just on different levels. Now i learnt that im repeating the script. What other possible ways are there to change this or re write it? Very curious

[@LewisPsychology]

The first step is to become aware of it, then connect with your true voice and give yourself permission to rewrite your script. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@emekdenizdemirci]

​@@LewisPsychology Thank you for your reply Teresa. This leads to another question, which one is my true voice :) Which one is the voice of my heart? My struggle is real.

[@LewisPsychology]

That is indeed a challenge. I would suggest a TA informed psychological therapist. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@ShonWilsonOfficial]

"Other people have it better than me"

[@paulinabarnas8475]

great work, thank you:)

[@Luquiro]

U r wonderful with your presentations

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you so much 🙂 That’s very kind of you. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@DJ_Flame_Jade]

I couldn’t do the exercise I had no childhood story and I had a very hard childhood

[@LewisPsychology]

I'm sorry to hear that. Warm wishes, Teresa.

[@DJ_Flame_Jade]

@@LewisPsychology thank you for reading my comment and your channel x

[@JessicaHeart-o9z]

oh gosh, what to do? I feel numb I can't figure out which fairy tale was my favorite? or how to be anyone of the characters? I am 50, have done a lot of therapy through my life, and still struggling - messy, hence why I am watching videos, looking for possibilities.

[@annaolinova5475]

Thank you Teresa! Your explanation videos are so clear! As an expressive arts therapist I LOVE your use of fairy tale as a method for accessing the life script. What I’m wondering is once people have awareness of their scripts/core beliefs, HOW can they question, change and rewrite them?

[@LewisPsychology]

I’m pleased to hear you enjoy my videos. Have a look at my TA playlist for more information. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@gigo50]

I like Genie in Aladdin because genie can do anything to help Aladdin succeed.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thanks for sharing. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

My scripts were that I was nothing special. Objectively that's probably true but I let that sap my confidence too much. Nobody else felt they needed permission to try/compete/join in/show up.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for sharing your insights Susan. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@firstfeellife]

It's an excellent information video. I want to be a prince who wants to save a sleeping princess, but I have a belief that I will be an assistant to the prince. Actually, since I was very young, I thought second-in-command was suitable. I am not a thousand or a hundred leaders, but I`m thinking that a ten-man leader is enough? Ever since I started remembering. I was about four or five years old. My parents are the oldest and I have an older brother. Due to the structure of the family relationship, it seems that the adaptation ego has been reinforced unconsciously. The AC is on the high side, so I can change it, right? Thank you for the professional video and easy explanation. The sentence is easy and the tone, intonation, and pronunciation are easy to listen.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for your kind words Inho. Yes, it sounds like you Adaptive Child may be high so it would be helpful to work on strengthening your Adult ego state. In this video I discuss how to strengthen your Adult: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oKrbfKt3odCoeqc. Thanks for sharing your insights. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@K8101-s3r]

I had a few favourites 😅 Mulan, beauty and the beast, the Mupets Christmas Carol. I think I liked Mulan’s and Belle’s inner strength, and their ability to leave everything and escape. Thinking about it I used to make up stories about running away and exploring unknown countries. All 3 have transformation of character of some kind which leads to acceptance and understanding. I had a very critical parent that was emotionally abusive. I’m not sure if I wanted my parent to transform, or after acceptance for myself

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for sharing your insights. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@PRGME7]

Here’s something kinda odd. I came up with the idea of a life script or something like it.

[@DopaminedotSeek3rcolonthree]

Red Riding Hood was just doing her business only to find out that there was a dangerous creature where a once caring family member was... Wonder why that's the one I always think of...

[@LewisPsychology]

Now that’s interesting. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@FinFiverr]

So useful and insightful - thanks!

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s great to hear. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@consciouschirag]

Thank you Lewis for sharing such useful knowledge. Could you share a resource where we can study the scripts of arachne, hercules, tantalus, sisyphus, philmon & baucis, damocles?

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank your for your comment. Unfortunately I'm not a specialist regarding Rachne, Hercules, Tantalus, Sisyphus, Philmon, Baucisa and Damocles. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@lynnfaulkner9496]

Ha, my fave has always been Goldilocks. Thank you for this exercise, what a beautiful way to reflect on my PAC and why my drivers have directed me towards pleasing others by always striving for balance. After reflecting on the internal stroked scripts that cause me some struggles - I have come to see that the lovely thing about Goldilocks is she is mainly allowed to be OK with being a curious child... she finds "just right" experiences and only runs away at the end (if I remembered it right, tho' I might rewrite that to have them "all eat porridge together and become lifelong friends" .... I think my parents must have done an OK job with me after all 😄. Thank you and go well.

[@LewisPsychology]

I love how you said Goldilocks was allowed to be okay and a curious child. Thank you so much for sharing your insights. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@jyotisumonakothaari9826]

I pick the girl, who is put to sleep. What's the interpretation?

[@LewisPsychology]

Thanks for your question Jyoti. Choose a childhood fairy tale that resonates with you. Then imagine becoming each character of your favourite fairy tale. According to Berne, there are direct correlations between your favourite fairy tale and your life script. This is for you to then interpret, nobody else can interpret this for you. For example what is it about the sleeping girl that resonates with you? I hope this helps. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@alicaramba7680]

Every girl wants do nothing and be beautiful. Also, most of them afraid of getting pregnant. So, while they happy many kings and princes seek their hand, yet they prefer to stay untouched by them, clean and sterile (the latter part likely directly influenced by moms). Also, they afraid of life in general and rather would spend days somewhere safely locked away. If you find common and likeable things about sleeping girl, then likely you will grow up by taking her life script. Meaning, you will be a passive person, unable to tackle any serious life problem, make any meaningful decision by yourself, devoid of any serious thoughts and emotions. You will try to live ideal life, be ideal wife with ideal husband in ideal family, ideal kids, ideal job, ideal employee. And it starts now. If you feel urge to be an ideal daughter for your parents, an ideal student for your teachers (only you know), then likely your life script is already written. Being good isn't a bad thing, being ideal strips you of your life choices and makes dependable on others, brain perceives as ideal: parents, teachers, superiors at a job, politicians, religious leaders and so on.

[@lauracole5836]

My favorite story was The Snow Queen. In it Gerda travels and struggles to save her friend from the titular Snow Queen. She runs into all kinds of obstacles (the sorceress, the robber woman) but also characters that help her (the crow, the little robber girl, the reindeer) to save Kai.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for sharing this. I find it so interesting when people share their fairytale. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@kevinbarlow-jones2378]

Thank you for the effort put into your videos.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thanks for your kind comment Kevin. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@albertoa68]

My compliments. A very professional video and a clear explanation of a difficult TA concept. Thanks a lot.

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you for your kind words Alberto. It certainly is a difficult concept to put across. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@strawberryx257]

Does it have to be a fairytale. I resonate with Miss Tiggy Winkle by Beatrix Potter. Miss Tiggy Winkle is perfect in every way but then Lucy finds out she’s nothing but a hedgehog. I want to be Miss Tiggy Winkle but basically I’m a boring brown 🦔 this aligns with my thoughts whereas everyone else disagrees, I can never live up to myself. I’ve had so much therapy over the years but always end up depressed & anxious. I live with Damocles sword over my head. Thanks for the videos it’s something to work on you explain it in a good way

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s interesting, thanks for sharing. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@43292]

Please do a video on racket feeling system

[@LewisPsychology]

Yes, I plan to make a video on racket feelings. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@JaneAndrews-y3b]

Brilliant clarity, thank you

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you. Best wishes, Teresa.

[@Star-dj1kw]

❤ excellent video

[@LewisPsychology]

Thank you.

[@foxconvey4979]

I'm the little girl, and I will dig my way out under that hedge and escape

[@LewisPsychology]

That’s so interesting. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes. Teresa.

[@foxconvey4979]

It is intersting! One could also clime I suppose, depending on the type of hedge. Probably less work @@LewisPsychology