Trauma and giving it to God

[@14skmw46]

I can totally relate to how your feeling 😢 I've lost myself I'm just surviving day to day

[@georgios4891]

You are so brave, you got this. Our brains are healing, I also experience intrusive thoughts/images you describe and the suffering. Parts of brain(hippocampus, amygdala) are overworking as a sign of healing and this manifests as all these painful symptoms. You are not alone, thank you for the video.

[@nickc.5783]

Definitely fully surrendered

[@Einheitsbewusstsein]

I really can feel your pain.. We often feel so lost but we have to stay strong and confident for better times in our life.. Otherwise the pain and the stress of the trauma is just overwhelming and paralyzing.. Sad but true.. The only way out is the way through.. Much love for you❤❤❤😘

[@allencollins6031]

Everything you said makes sense. Thanks.

[@KeriDetter]

Father Mike has a new video on pain. I'm not Catholic but have received so much from his messages. I remember when my first symptoms started which I didn't know at the time was a delayed reaction to surgery and post op meds. I knew only God could heal me but I went to the doctor anyway because thats what we do and they put me on psyche meds because they thought it was panic attacks. I was on meds for about 2 months ripped off quickly and now 10 months later I'm still dealing with ABIND. Jesus is my only hope. You are not alone.❤

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

I hope in Jesus that you will regain yourself. I hope i can regain myself too.

[@_harbinjer]

i am in agreement with you

[@neighborbob3043]

I am so sorry your not feeling better yet, hold on it gets better over time.

[@edgetransit3320]

I missed you tess. Glad you made another video. Always gonna be here to see your journey praying you and everyone else going through this, makes it out alive and well. I'm 13 months off klonopin and still no real progress. Hope we all heal soon

[@johnnearen2886]

I know God will heal Us. I 🙏 for you My journey starts this weekend After 22 years of this damage I pray for all who are going threw this 🙏

[@lydiamoore142]

I am addicted to bento’s. May the Lord work us all through this.

[@joeschuster2002]

You hit the nail on the head . He is refining us and it’s so so hard just need to let go of one self and do his will .

[@mitch5222]

I have lost 12 years and i am permanently disabled after decade of polydrugged. I dont even know what is a good day in life. At 44 years i feel like a teenager. I am disabled my legs are full of neuropathy. I accepted death.

[@_harbinjer]

i guess it's really not so isolated then. Anger, sadness and frustration at this world and its abuse and mistreatment

[@m.htruth8880]

​@@_harbinjerI honestly think everyone should be angry at the things that go on and society should stop it

[@_harbinjer]

@@m.htruth8880 some very powerful and influential people in this world have decided that 9 billion people on this earth is 8 billion too many

[@rachaelhernandez7264]

I too was injured after a routine knee surgery and polydrugged and ended up on a benzo. It took me 3+ years to taper that and then I was put on a AD. I am 11 months off of that and dealing with ABIND and all the symptoms that come with this kind of injury. Things have very slowly improved and I can feel healing, but my menstrual cycle throws me back into almost acute WD every month. I had a break this and last month but am now entering another wave. But please know things will get better and you will heal and one day you’ll be off it all and healing. I wish I could comment on the birth control side of things, but I’m in the same boat (not on it) but the hormone fluctuations are miserable!

[@eleanahanelly6462]

Rooting for you so much !! ❤

[@JamesDodge-v7n]

You are a beautiful speaker. You are correct in saying no one understands. These medications have destroyed my nervous system and now they have affected my heart. You have given me the courage to finally surrender my cares and fears to Jesus. I am praying for you. Thank you for giving me the courage to hand all my problems to God.

[@THXx1138]

Benzos are not 'medication'. It is a neurotoxin.

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

I have hundreds of intrusive thoughts pour into my mind. Setraline and Klopin and shit like this stuff is crazy. I went off Klonopin for 2 days cold turkey, but thats not what i planned i just ran out of Klonopin. It terrified me into alot of terrifying past events. Its a constant negative past memories coming at me too. Its overwhelming!!!!!!

[@_harbinjer]

yes, i learned a lot about these medications during this time and how powerful our dependencies to them. I would have never learned what i needed to if it wasn't for these painful and costly experiences

[@shan4145]

I was thinking about you today and thought I wonder if she put up any new videos yet and here you are . Thank you so so so much ! Your videos help !💖💎🇨🇦👩🏻

[@rachaelhernandez7264]

Sometimes it’s so hard to hear the Lords voice and what his will is for us when we are in the deepest of suffering. I find I struggle with that the most…the what am I supposed to do, what is his will for me, where is he directing me, etc… But the Lord is building you and creating you for all his glorious works!

[@lonnievisch6009]

You will heal dear Tess. Even though it is unimaginable suffering.❤

[@_harbinjer]

i am in agreement with you

[@magpiebean9826]

Hello. I hear you and feel your pain. I also lean on the Lord knowing He has me in His hands and that He will not let me go. And you are correct - no therapist, doctor etc can heal you - only your Creator. And He has been healing you along this horrific and slow experience. You are not where you were. Allow that to give you hope. He is refining you into precious gold fit for His purposes. You are also correct about the empathy it allows us to feel for others that we may have never had if not for this season. I am available to talk if you ever need a sister in Christ who understands. Love to you and many prayers. You are not alone. ❤️🙏🏼

[@_harbinjer]

the worst part is being misunderstood and feeling completely alone, the horrible intrusive thoughts and not living but surviving only, unable to live one day at a time but often times all you can do is survive one moment at a time, not able to participate in life, forced to be on the outside looking in. I'd do anything to trade places with you. After almost 25 years, I have come to the same conclusion, everything in the natural has failed. If anything changes in my life, it will be, like you say, because of something that He does

[@amyhenningsgard8618]

Remain hopeful and close to Our Lord Jesus. God bless you and keep you.🙏🏻❤️✝️🌹📖

[@APPB738]

😂😂😂

[@nwicconsultants6640]

Yes we do understand and yes the pain will eventually be gone. If we rely on our Father we will be able to endure and eventually overcome. As stated in Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." So many of us are going through the same pain as you and each day is a struggle...but in him we find strength. God Bless!🙏

[@brendamalone3880]

Your a child of God, he will see us through this. I know everyday how painful this injury is, just no words for it. Some days all I say over and over is There is Power in the name of Jesus. He will deliver you, it’s His promise. 🙏🙏🙏❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[@KateShanahan-g2s]

Hi Tessa. I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I am sadly going through a very similar experience, akathsia is unthinkable 💔 I have been doing nervous system regulation with the program Primal Trust and it is helping a little and gives me hope and a sense of community. Sending you love from Ireland 💚 x

[@ErikFindlingMusic]

if we seek God through all of this he will make our paths straight

[@healing.buddies]

Jesus is the way 🌟

[@GunnerGOAT730]

I feel for you. You must be extremely sensitive to all types of meds to be having these problems. Trust me, I know benzo withdrawal is real and can be really tough for people, but millions of people are prescribed benzos annually and most have no trouble coming off of them. Obviously, prolonged use at a high dose can definitely cause some problems. I hope you feel better soon. You've come a long way!

[@beautifullybroken1591]

People can have problems after being on them for just a couple of weeks at a small dose. I was on them alot on and off through my life without any issues. Once you are injured by one drug, people tend to be injured further by many more drugs they have never had problems with before. I appreciate your empathy

[@THXx1138]

@GunnerGOAT730 - you don't actually feel for her or anyone who is injured by these neurotoxins. It has absolutely nothing to do with "extreme sensitivity". It is the drug's method of action that causes the injury. Anyone who consumes a benzo is injuring themselves unknowingly.

[@_harbinjer]

He has me thinking about you. I care about you and your life, your situation and circumstance. What it is like for you and what you feel and experience and go through. It's all important and meaningful. I agree with you, whatever you pray and ask for

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

Their like haunting thoughts that attack and always attacking and its like your stuck. Then emotions flare up. Then those memories bring intrusive thoughts come, but those thoughts have memories too. Terrorfying memories. Yeah the doom voice says doom and gloom then its horrible cause its on repeat.

[@_harbinjer]

all familiar painful intrusive thoughts. You find the answers that you need, if i make it, you make it, hang in there for me. There is purpose and meaning to you and your life, it does get better, the answers and relief come

[@jasonhedges5866]

You helped me a lot with your videos thank

[@angel_2022M]

I can relate to the pain you are in, I struggle badly every day even after 9 months off xanax. It's a real hell, the mental part, these weird thoughts disturb me so much that it's difficult to act normal , as my family doesn't know or believe my situation. It seems that I am getting worse day by day, confusion, detachment from myself and surroundings, head pains , weird thoughts are so brutal. Every day I just try to understand what I have done or eaten that makes me worse. Can bananas or lemon juice rev up the symptoms?

[@_harbinjer]

foods certainly can affect our mood or feelings, especially when the mind is weak or isn't working properly or as hoped. You will learn what you can and can not consume through trial and error, you should be able to tell and go from there

[@beautifullybroken1591]

Look into a low histamine diet. But all you can do is avoid the main characters like sugar, alot of carbs, caffeine, tobacco. People have still healed on the worst diets. There is alot of hope for you

[@lonnievisch6009]

Yes people healed. While being bedbound, eating only Mac Donald’s. We will heal because our brain wants to go back to homeostasis. Stop torturing yourself by question everything you eat. It is already hard enough. I think cafeïne is bad because we are already anxious and alcohol is effecting our neurotransmitters. Time is are only friend. Hold on. Minute by minute.❤️

[@StudentofFlames-me3ie]

This video made me want to go and listen to Billy Joel's Vienna. It also made me think about how we can't keep one pace throughout life. They say stop and smell the roses maybe for a reason. Maybe the roses help us digest our past.

[@wayne1gro]

This sounds like full blown benzo withdrawals. It can take a long time but you will recover from it. You will then be able to come off the other drug. You must just be patient and let your mind heal from the Benzos.

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

This refining fire is like the trial of seeing yucky things.

[@_harbinjer]

yes, the only way impurities can be separated and removed. The process of going from unrefined to precious. You are precious for the things you experience and go through

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

@@_harbinjer thank youuuuu

[@Cats4nelson]

Have you heard of or tried brain spotting. It has helped me heal from traumas❤praying for healing and continued hope for you ❤

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

The thoughts of evil thoughts keep coming. Im like no! Jesus please no. Then childhood memories come. Im like no that isnt what i wanted. Jesus please take it away. For the past two months.

[@_harbinjer]

i understand everything that you are going through. It gets better

[@APPB738]

😂😂😂

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

@@APPB738 😊❤

[@samuelraneljr364]

Sorry for what you’re experiencing but stay positive. Keep open lines of communication to someone. Remember, things could always be worse.

[@robbiegibson4112]

Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to everything that you are talking about. I to have found that my faith in Christ is my greatest source of strength. I will pray for you. Trying 1 mg of Benzo a day. Is it worth it to quit them if I was prescribed for 39 years. I have no idea but from the little I know about what they can do to our brains yes I am a little concerned. So , I must say Benzos for 39 years based on a misdiagnosis a little infuriating and frightening. I hope you are ok and that you have a good day. I will be praying for you. One thing. Is this why I always look angry when I am not. Imagine the friendships that I miss out on based on my facial expression which normally doesn't match how I feel inside.

[@beautifullybroken1591]

You have been on a benzo for 39 years? These drugs are toxic and the best thing is to be off. It's just crucial that you do all the research you can on how to do it properly if that's what you decide. Glad you are walking with the Lord through this all. God bless

[@Martinez1983]

Wow 39 years is a lot, your brain is basically adapted to these and it will probably be very hard to get off. If you do decide it will have to be years of tapering. If you are not having any symptoms on them or adverse reactions, I’m not sure if I would be willing to face all the withdrawal symptoms that come with discontinuation after 39 years. Just a thought! Take care ❤

[@abceazy1]

Hope your doing good and god bless you

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

😢😢

[@ErikFindlingMusic]

Hey! Just wanted to see how you are doing today? Taking things minute by minute and trusting Jesus with our situation is the only way out

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@@ErikFindlingMusic Struggling moment by moment. Tired from the fight but trusting the Lord will somehow lead me through

[@allencollins6031]

"Tired from the fight." So true.​@@beautifullybroken1591

[@shan4145]

Tessa, I was rewatching your videos and I wanted to know how are you doing now? 🦢🦋💖🙋🏻‍♀️🇨🇦

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@@shan4145 Hi, I am really unwell. No good news here at this time unfortunately. Thank you for checking in ❤

[@shan4145]

@@beautifullybroken1591 I know how you feel 🫂. And we all are trying to survive . Keep going Tessa, and the rest of us too on earth here , suffering through ✨🦋💖🦢🙋🏻‍♀️🇨🇦

[@_harbinjer]

​@@beautifullybroken1591 i care about you

[@TheAllKnighter53-t8o]

This is aweful, how life can take such a horrible turn. I am the same but story is different. I had a beautiful blessed life but it all got wrecked when 100% Insomnia hit me 5 months ago. I require so many sedatives to knock me out and now I am learning that they are destroying my nervous system. You are still able to drive?

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@@TheAllKnighter53-t8o I can drive depending on how bad things are. I am sorry you suffer. Please do your research and find the safest route out of this mess

[@MaikenJakobsen-b8e]

I pray so much for you 🙏❤. Yes there is a spiritual side of it!..... I have also got injuried from both hormones and medicine in a mix and I hope it is okay that I suggest that when your "benzo-hell" is calming down in som years (I know it is traumatic to think about right know but) maybe you can taper out of birthcontroll the same way that you taper of benzoes. I hope that it is okay to suggest this. I feel so much for you because I have been close to die from similar hell. I wish you the best ❤

[@beautifullybroken1591]

Unfortunately I am on a combined pill, which there seems to be no way to taper off of. It isn't HRT. So sorry you have been harmed as well. It's horrific

[@MaikenJakobsen-b8e]

@@beautifullybroken1591Thank you ♥️ yes, there is no words that can describe this torture!!!. Okay. Even if it is a combined pill, it could be a solution to taper, but I understand fully if you don't think it is the right solution and only you can feel what is best to do when time comes. I was on a hormonal coil, that I could not taper from that messed everything up while tapering antidepressants, and when got it out I was put in absolute akathisia hell. At that time I wish, I could taper from it. The way I survive is praying and thinking that with time God will show the way to solutions for all of us. I am so sorry, you are going through this and wish you healing along the way.

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@user-xg4dk3ch6y How long have you had the coil out for? I can't split this pill or anything so don't think there is a chance to taper. Are you still in hell? Any improvement?

[@rosieisaacson4477]

@@beautifullybroken1591 When it is over and you've had more healing, could you stop the pill and go on just progesterone, and then taper from that? I think it's the progesterone part that hits gaba and causes the problems.

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@@rosieisaacson4477 The risk is that once I start the progesterone it reinjures the receptors all over again and throws me into full on benzo withdrawal

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

Its like pain of arrows. I put hot water on my scalp to try and get myself thinking on something else.

[@_harbinjer]

as painful and life altering as it would be, you adjust and adapt

[@WeWereTheJoySetBeforeHim]

Thank you for the video. If it weren't for Jesus I would not be alive right now,.. the torment has been extreme 5 years off Prozac/Valium, etc. Even when I get angry He is still right there. Keep leaning into His strength and find people who believe in healing and get prayer. I don't know if you have your prayer language (tongues), but praying in tongues helps ease the mental hell for me.

[@_harbinjer]

well said

[@dynasty006]

Hi Tessa, thank you for giving us an update. I'm really sorry to hear, that you're still struggling so hard. I think to surrender, not only to god, is the right attitude to approach it. What other cooping mechanics are you using? Have you tried to go deep, really deep into meditation? Wish you all the best.

[@gulledfarah3973]

Is there anyway you can check into a rehab facility and get taken off fast? Some people can’t taper and need to be taken off fast

[@gulledfarah3973]

Ultimately it’s better then a long 4-5 year taper, and the lord will carry you through you just need to take the leap of faith.

[@ThePolarbear1956]

yes, yes,yes Jesus (Yeshua) is the way. Stay in the boat with Jesus during your storm and always. He is your Messiah !

[@Mike-mh5rl]

You can cure this . What happened is your body burnt out due to the stress caused by the pharmaceuticals you took. I had these burn out symptoms as well. Nervous system issues, insomnia etc. I got in touch with an eastern medicine practitioner and no kidding it went away. It will take a few months though of being very consistent everyday. All natural remedies . Orin therapy and 30 min of pranayama everyday . The Orin sounds gross but I was desperate and willing to do anything to get my life back . A good starting place on Orin therapy is “the water of life” by John Armstrong.. if you want to learn more about it

[@Mike-mh5rl]

If you want more details let me know . This is totally reversible! And it’s alot quicker than you think

[@magpiebean9826]

Could you share the practitioner’s contact information?

[@edgetransit3320]

@@magpiebean9826 I wouldn't believe any of these comments that make random suggestions. Drinking pee is not gonna cure us lol. Either a bod, or a fraud

[@Mike-mh5rl]

Can’t knock it until you try it

[@Mike-mh5rl]

Health siren on KZbin . They have their WhatsApp info so you can reach out to them

[@Kiki-sv8gl]

Hello ❤. Idk if you will see this. But I have experienced similar symptoms. In addition I have this scary symptom where I feel my brain is so swollen that when I laugh about a joke the laughter would get stuck in the brain due to the swelling/ tension. Is this something you experienced too? I thank you for your videos they help to not feel alone ❤thx ❤

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@@Kiki-sv8gl The brain can definitely feel swollen and inflamed, that's a very common symptom. And I've had similar. God bless

[@Kiki-sv8gl]

@@beautifullybroken1591Thank you for replying. I hope it will go away. Your brain isn’t swollen anymore thats encouraging to hear!

[@_harbinjer]

brain swelling and pressure. I can relate

[@tamihenderson4500]

Did anyone loose there taste buds

[@KarsonsChannel]

How many mg did you take and for how long?

[@beautifullybroken1591]

@@KarsonsChannel 30mg Valium. Down to 4mgs. I have been taking it since September 2020

[@KarsonsChannel]

@@beautifullybroken1591 I'm sorry that happened to you. I'll be praying that God heals you

[@_harbinjer]

​@KarsonsChannel i am in agreement with you

[@jasonhedges5866]

Jesus is the only way for us only him

[@APPB738]

Poor delusional

[@_harbinjer]

i care about you soo much

[@Bsvst.5030]

God??? Ahhaahahhaahah

[@_harbinjer]

until it happens

[@Bsvst.5030]

@@_harbinjer nothing happens. Wake up! Your God is only psychological.

[@_harbinjer]

@@Bsvst.5030 until it happens

[@_harbinjer]

@@Bsvst.5030 you must like attention

[@_harbinjer]

@@Bsvst.5030 explaining an experience with the living God is like explaining motherhood to a woman that hasn't had a child yet

[@mikehays0070]

This may sound gross, but urotherapy might help. I took a leap and started drinking urine recently and it has helped alleviate symptoms better than many things I have tried. It is free and of limitless supply. Medicine individually customised. Stops my headaches, and even migraines, eases my muscle contractions. Sometimes I feel like a lump of concrete because my body is so compressed, my jaw muscles spasm tight and whole jaw aches and it goes down my neck and shoulders. It can't just be a coincidence, it is actually working, and that oppressive feeling lifts. It helps me with nausea, helps slow my heart rate down, and also breaks insomnia. I can relax a bit and then fall asleep.

[@_harbinjer]

dang it, i'm sure you're right, i just can't see an all knowing, all loving eternal God wanting or needing us to resort to urine consumption for help and relief especially since urine is labeled as a waste by- product, to me, that would be like or feel like breathing my own air unless you are being a low key troll with your comment

[@Mike-mh5rl]

Funny I actually recommended that to her too

[@edgetransit3320]

@@_harbinjer Just ignore him lol

[@mikehays0070]

@@_harbinjer I am being legitimate, but it has been by gradual exposure, as I too was repulsed by the idea. Over the years as it has been recommended by various health people, and took me a while to come round, but I was desperate lately, fighting covid, not sleeping, migraine headaches. The virus was defeating me and the supplements weren't sufficient, at least not without huge expense, so desperate times, desperate measures. It worked pretty quick, I notice relief within hours, and I am quite impressed at how well it works. It actually the first thing I ever found that can loosen the muscle spasms. I think it might help detox the toxins binding to my verves. I like Dr. Group's videos about it. We have all drunk urine before, when we were babies in the womb, it is the same as urine. Your urine also contains stem cells that are coded for your own body. If you get bitten by a snake you could save your life by drinking urine because your urine will contain the venom antibodies. It is like our system will provide the custom antidote we need.

[@Mike-mh5rl]

It’s not waste. It is actually purified blood . Read the literature and you’ll hear the many stories. And why are you saying I’m spamming? That other mike is definitely not me. Did you look at health sirens KZbin videos on their shivambu series? Indians have been practicing Orin therapy for thousands of years for its therapeutic effects . God designed our bodies so we intake our precious water and regenerate

[@Angelsarereal3]

You are a targeted individual?

[@_harbinjer]

are not we all

[@Angelsarereal3]

@@_harbinjer not like me

[@_harbinjer]

@@Angelsarereal3 whatever we can handle. The saying is true, with great power comes great responsibility

[@Angelsarereal3]

@@_harbinjer This program they are running is so evil you can't believe it exisits. I have been inches away from death, They locked me up, I have scars from head to toe and that is just the beginning. I have lost everything

[@beautifullybroken1591]

We are all targeted. Do you mean directly by the spiritual realm?

[@APPB738]

G_0d doesn't exist. Sorry.

[@_harbinjer]

you declare an absolute statement, an absolute statement is only valid when the one giving it knows and understands everything. How many people know and understand everything ever? The most that you can realistically be in this life is an agnostic, otherwise you sound like an ignorant, near sighted troll