The Oversexualization Of Boys In Media

[@Tronn9672]

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[@RawTimee]

You forgot to put the show everybody hates chris in the description!!

[@Not_You_2]

Any place to watch the original video?

[@Sagegabs]

"As a content creator I have to watch a lot of tv shows". Oh boy, it must suck to be you, little butterfly 🌈😂👎🏻. I wouldn't want you to do a 9 - 5 job.

[@nova338]

Great video, absolutely love the content! FYI rocket money is a pretty scummy and dishonest company, and I would strongly advise against people giving them any personal information!

[@kieranstark7213]

I’ll never forgive the lack of consent towards men (and women and children, for that matter), nor will I ever forgive NickRewind rigging the votes so that Beck Oliver (who kept cheating on his abusive girlfriend Jade West because this was one of those shows made by Dan Schneider) could win at least 80% votes against a character played by James Maslow (not Shane Broaner from iCarly, but James Diamond from Big Time Rush, and yes, I’m the guy who wants to work with this guy alongside SteveGreeneComedy via Greene & Maslow Productions via The PowerBursters of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Cauldron Palace where I could cast James as Chad Manden), because Nickelodeon wants us to think that a misogynist from a show by a sexual predator (he’s like Drake Parker and Michael Kelso where regardless of whether or not they consent, because he’s considered to be attractive by more people than myself, he gets away with forcing himself on other people) is more attractive than a guy who was played by James David Maslow of all actors and turned out to be very attractive (inside and out), whom on NickRewind, would also be voted last on the poll of who’s the smartest member of Big Time Rush (another poll where compared to Dan Schneider’s show, it would be Big Time Rush that wouldn’t get the most votes of which Nickcom from the late 2000s-early 2010s should make a comeback), it’s like they want to ruin James Diamond’s image (again, inside and out)!

[@MiltonGagliardi]

The thing with Beck's case is that's he is also always shown uncomfortable when women are all over him, but that's always a joke too

[@fleurtherabbit]

Hm, that's special cause what I remember from watching victorious is that most times he was fine with it, not drawing any boundary at all, because he likes annoying Jade with it.

[@allydef]

That’s why it bothers me when people say that Beck was toxic because “he just let girls flirt with him while he had a girlfriend.” He was always visibly uncomfortable but probably didn’t know how to say something.

[@miagrass]

@@allydef no that was with girls he didn't know now around school he loves it and he knows that jade was get jelly he is a toxic and the main reason he lost half of the fans is when he try to makeout with tori knowing that will causes jade pain and ruined their friend group toxic ass dude

[@danielalizcano6648]

​​@@allydef Nah, he definitely did a bit of both, when it was older women he was uncomfortable, but when Jade thought he was helping a cheerleader their age he doesn't tell her she isn't their age which only makes her more jealous, and then he laughs about it, same with Alisa Von when they broke up the first time (after break up) and when he constantly makes jokes about wanting to break up with her in that one episode Both can be true

[@connormg8273]

also people seem to gloss over the fact that beck gets assaulted in nearly every episode, either from jade who literally abuses him or other girls who seem to not understand consent at all

[@sagejennings4342]

I also hate that lack of consent is only ever portrayed if the girl or guy is considered ugly, as if no one can ever just not want to kiss someone attractive. It makes real world guys develop that nice guy complex of "what? because I'm not hot enough?" when that is likely not the reason

[@xShadowChrisx]

real life is what usually gives that impression to guys not fiction lol. There's enough real life examples of the same flirting/acts being seen as creepy or sweet dependent on the attractiveness of the guy.

[@racheycar]

​@@xShadowChrisx have you ever seen it played out irl?

[@raxxtv1998]

Yeah mate, this is an example of “does the media that we watch influence our real life behaviors and attitudes, or does our real life behavior and attitudes influence the media?” It’s probably a mix of both. People wouldn’t think this way, especially subconsciously, if it didn’t reflect reality, or at least ones perception of reality.

[@melodi2036]

​@@raxxtv1998 definitely perception, though. Like someone said, a lot of these examples are Dan shows, and we know what he's like. He's 100000000% the type to get rejected and assume it's appearance related rather than his creepy behavior or the way he treats people. A lot of my perception as a kid was shaped by what I saw on tv, but some people never break out of that. They take that bias into the real world and only notice confirmation even if it's not that common.

[@EmmanuelleBeaudoinRoy]

It's not about attractiveness, it's about consent... You're more likely to be attracted to an attractive person, so you're also more likely to give consent, it's not rocket science​@@xShadowChrisx

[@marchhhhhhh]

Another example is in an episode of Glee where Ryder, feeling comfortable enough to open up to his peers, talks about how he was assaulted by an older woman when he was younger and immediately all the guys in the group start asking why he's even traumatized by that experience. Glee is definitely not the prime example to handle any sort of nuance conversation, but even then, I was at least expecting them to end the conversation with the other guys being like damn didn't realize that that could affect you that way. Instead, they keep shitting on Ryder and he's forced to just accept that what he experienced is what any guy their age dreams of. Although, Kitty comes up to him later in private and empathizes with him as she has been assaulted before as well.

[@siobhanflanagan4339]

I completely agree with you, and it is very telling that it was not only another victim but a woman that empathizes with him. Some eps would end with the characters learning a lesson but to my memory the guys learned nothing.

[@rexibhazoboa7097]

@@siobhanflanagan4339not every story do all the characters learn a good lesson. It seems the point of it was for the audience to learn that the boy’s feelings were valid even if the other boys didn’t see it that way. Doesn’t seem like a writing flaw.

[@larafranke1802]

I never really watched Glee, but this episode sounds like the harsh reality... 😭 It reminds me of an episode of Cold Case, where a handsome looking college student was murdered. After some time, the detectives find out that he r*ped multiple college girls, but when they talked to someone, they weren't taken seriously because he looks so good, and every girl wants this guy.. Spoiler for this episode: All the girls get together and scare him one night, but they leave him afterwards. One of the girls' little brothers who unknowingly followed his sister gets in front of the guy after the girls left. He has a gun cause he wants to revenge his sister. This boy was in the next room while the creep hurt his sister, and he heard everything, so he shot him. At the end of the episode he is a grown man, as he confesses to the detectives what he had done, but even though that the cops know that the guy was laying there helpless, they tell the shooter that the guy was threatening him and that it was self defence. They didn't want a boy/man going to jail just because he was doing everyone a favour by talking out this garbage of guy

[@bigclitenergy]

im not a fan of glee and while they couldve handled it a biit better its pretty realistic in some cases

[@l.n.3372]

​@rexibhazoboa7097 But that's the problem, isn't it? The message can be taken both ways. If you assume the audience is meant to understand that those other boys are wrong, and that the girl who sympathized is the one in the right, then the ep was intended to paint a harsh reality of how male victims of SA get ignored by other men. But if the message was intended to be that only other SA victims will sympathize with each other, that's a really bad message. Because it means that SA victims are essentially alone except for each other. The show probably should have demonstrated other kids who sympathized too.

[@robertstull8759]

About half of your examples are shows created by Dan Schneider. So I would argue that in many cases this ideology isn't an accident. It's not an unwitting outcome of comedy that just so happens to reinforce cultural norms, but rather a fantasy pushed by certain writers and creators.

[@Peapod901]

Just cuz those r examples in the video doesn’t mean it’s not prevalent in other things. It’s just easy to point to these nick shows cuz it’s so overt and we grew up on them

[@robertstull8759]

@@Peapod901 I agree that there are undoubtedly other showrunners that are intentionally pushing toxic ideologies like this... Whedon for example.

[@Peapod901]

@@robertstull8759 I’m not quite familiar with what Joss Whedons done regarding oversexualizing boys but theres plenty to go around in Hollywood

[@upsetstudios1819]

I found it a bit odd that these very similar shows were used as examples

[@Dark-Wolf27]

Regardless of who the creators are they were still approved by the companies who hired the directors so the issues still remain

[@Nanamin-ls2iu]

Tying to the first part of your video "This only happens if you're hot enough". For many children who grew up watching these shows the message did register into the subconscious. Leading to many internalized harmful thoughts like, "Is this not happening because I'm not attractive enough?" Or "It happened because I am attractive. So I need to make myself less appealing." I never put two and two together before this. It's so disgusting that this is not only normalized but pushed onto young minds in so many different forms.

[@heatherofhyrule9050]

When I was in high school I would actually get JEALOUS of my friends who got harassed bc I saw me not getting harassed as me not being pretty enough, now as an adult I realize how absolutely harmful that mentality is and how I was so lucky and it had nothing to do with my appearance

[@AndersWatches]

100% The fact I didn’t face a lot of the creepiness (at least irl) that others did around me when I was a kid fed into my already rock bottom self esteem which is so fucked up.

[@wazetax3864]

After I got assaulted as a child, I stopped taking care of my basic hygiene and rejected any healthy habits, letting myself grow into a REALLY dirty and nasty adolescent (WAY worse than any normal one, in every sense, trust me), thinking that in that way, no one would ever hurt me again because I didn't look like a girl or smelled like a baby anymore (words that my own abuser said). Well, it didn't work, I got assaulted later on by an older woman while still dealing with unresolved trauma, which left me with a worse trauma and self image, with everyone saying "Gosh I hope that would happen to me" and downplaying my coping mechanism as laziness and plain immaturity. I thank you for your comment, I might have finally understood why I ended up like this, and why only after starting to solve this cumulative past trauma, I've been taking care of myself.

[@An19941]

Soo as a nerdy Christian girl who only word handmedowns and had a severe eating disorder, i was completely covered up and it still happened. Which made me want to hide in more layers of clothing and silence, religion & hiding, hatred of men and mankind

[@tumultoustortellini]

Elliot Rodger was a consequence of beauty standards regarding the female gaze? No shot

[@gaby-leigh2207]

I was quite young watching victorious and didn't know much of worldly things. But that scene where the emt was flirting with beck made young me feel so uncomfortable like....wth😭

[@ClubPuguin]

worldly things?

[@yukikanegawa7470]

​@ClubPuguin It's a way to say "grown topics" more properly. Can be adult topics or teen topics but the point is that it's things that kids wouldn't notice or don't care about.

[@ericbanks8062]

@@yukikanegawa7470no, the phrase “worldly things” is specific to certain religious backgrounds.

[@ericbanks8062]

@@yukikanegawa7470 no, the phrase “worldly things” is specific to very particular religious groups.

[@kawaiipanda4013]

@@ClubPuguinthey’re likely religious so worldly things is probably referring to things that don’t center religion like veggie tales is spiritual but SpongeBob is worldly

[@Circe._clown]

Also in modern family in episodes before (idk if that same woman) but a woman invited luke to her house to do a “job” where the woman told him to take off his shirt, and do weird things, when he was still a minor or 18. At the end jay saved him before something bad happened, but the problem was really minimized, they didn’t say anything really important about it

[@francostevo9939]

He was barely legal in the episode you were talking about

[@muskaan3711]

Modern family has some weird relationships like why was Manny dating his teacher!?

[@francostevo9939]

@ weird relationships like how?

[@925263]

and Jay actually contemplated letting it happen? If it had been Hayley and Alex, he would IMMEDIATELY intervene.

[@francostevo9939]

@@925263 Luke was legal at that moment. Barely legal, yes but at least it was legal

[@diarawisteria2218]

This comes from the piling-up of multiple harmful ideas, such as: - Boys and men should (and do) prioritize sex as their main goal in their lives. - Women (and thus, girls) cannot meaningfully assault, threaten, or otherwise cross sexual boundaries. This related to the idea that women cannot physically harm someome else. - Girls and women are meant to 'belong' to someone else and give that person alone sexual favors. Seriously, ask people who dismiss sexual abuse against boys if they think it's okay to do it to a girl, and if not, why that is.

[@upsetstudios1819]

and also that sex isn't something women (usually) want, more so something that is done *to* them, even when they give consent. which further builds on the idea that sex isn't something it's "possible" for boys "to get better at" because their part is to put the lock in the key, nothing else

[@Nonyah123]

Also add: 1. sex and body count “adds” value to males and “subtracts” it from females. So a male being approached from a young age is a sign of high success. 2. The concept of males “spreading seed” with as many women as possible, however possible.

[@greenpichon8482]

This and the fact that SA is only viewed as an issue when the abuser isn't hot. Like no?? I'm sorry but regardless of their looks consent is always necessary. These shows literally make people think to themselves "well she/he would've liked it if I was hot." or "this wouldn't have happened to me if I weren't attractive so it's my fault." For anyone else reading this you could literally be a MODEL and it wouldn't make SA okay. Taking the time to ask if somebody is okay with something shouldn't be seen as hard or tedious but just normal.

[@bluecarpets2410]

I think these shows that create these men/boys prioritizing sex sort of conditions the kids watching into thinking that -It’s What the boys should do -It’s What to expect from guys. I think it’s also important to note that this idea is also present in most songs and sayings. It is mentioned so much that guys only care about sex. This video even made me realize that I am stuck in that mindset of “sex being the only thing guys look for” . It’s really messed up, dehumanizing even. Sorry my grammar is bad. I also don’t have the best vocabulary to fully express what I want to say.🤷‍♀️

[@diarawisteria2218]

@@bluecarpets2410 No, I understood what you were saying. It's the kind of thing where entertainment reflects toxic cultural norms, and thus, reinforces them. Ultimately, it's a dehumanizing ouroborus.

[@DrFranklynAnderson]

“The boy wants it so it’s OK.” A gay guy being VERY honest about his trauma opened my eyes on that idea: “What that priest did to me as a teenager was wrong, even though I was literally asking for it.”

[@gregvs.theworld451]

Honestly that's another part of this topic worth being truthful about. There probably are young boys who are hormonal and think s*x is awesome who probably would sleep with an older woman or man they found attractive if the option were readily available to them. That doesn't mean it's suddenly okay or that the kid won't likely be traumatized later on down the line. Kids brains aren't fully formed and they don't have a good understanding of who they are or what they want, and kids are prone to make bad decisions and stupid mistakes as part of growing up and learning, goodness knows I did. Even if there are boys who think they'd be totally fine if a hot adult came onto them, it's still the responsibility of adults to not take advantage of kids.

[@Dolphinboi]

Are you talking about Milo? He never said it was wrong. Just that it was common in the community

[@allydef]

Are you talking about Milo Yiannopoulos or someone else?

[@riv7864]

did we all just have a priest experience... wtf is catholic school

[@shilohmortenson7670]

Mhm. When I was 15/16 my high school choir director was arrested for sexually abusing a student. We were all so close to him that we couldn't fathom this was the case. When he was released on bond, it was pretty immediately he began messaging me. After a week or so, things started to become sexually inclined, and I was not upset about the attention (I grew up neglected by my family, and was a queer child in a small rural town, so you can infer my mindset) Anyway, I WANTED this relationship with him at the time, because he made me feel wanted and gave me attention. I actively chose to partake in this and thought it was nothing because I (foolishly) assumed I was the one in control. What I did not know was the guilt and shame that would surround the situation for the rest of my life afterwards. Sexual abuse and grooming that no one looks at seriously because I was "aware" or "wanting" without knowing the consequences or severity of what was occurring. It's incredibly frustrating.

[@unknownjohnson8277]

The fact that you are open and real enough to have open commentary on things like this makes me so happy because I feel like I have been noticing things like this my whole life yet there has never been a full conversation on it. I appreciate you and your content sincerely.

[@growingupwithdisney]

I agree completely, these are the kinda things that are in the back of my mind but I feel I gotta just ignore it

[@gregvs.theworld451]

I think (hope) men are on the cusp of beginning to speak publicly and truthfully about the ways society systemically harms us both directly and though harmful but oft propagated ideas and stereotypes about men. I think it will take some time, both because men as a social class haven't yet unified in solidarity in a way similar to how feminism has for decades now, and because we haven't had men working in solidarity to write gender theory to put our thoughts and ideas and observations into words, a lot of men don't have the consciousness to even recognize a lot of these harms as problems in the first place, and if they do see it they lack the language to articulate what exactly is harming them so they deflect blame onto something else that isn't the core of the problem. I don't begrudge all men for this because I don't think it's because men are bad at identifying the heart of their grievances, but rather that in many cases the language to express what's being noticed and felt literally doesn't exist in well known and commonly accepted terminology yet, if at all.

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

Exactly❤.

[@ChimeraLotietheBunny]

Yea

[@anotherrandomguy8871]

⁠@@gregvs.theworld451It’s also that anytime men do say something about their side of being SA or abused, it’s not really taken seriously anyways, even if you did try to make movements or social pushback groups I kinda doubt people will listen in good sympathic faith anyways. Lots of people cannot even fathom the idea of a woman can be harmful towards man, so even the men that do speak up and are well aware that some people in general have harmed them including women, I don’t think others will listen.

[@DeclanCorey]

4:12 When she looks directly into the camera while asking if she’s “the only one who finds this disturbing” - I felt that; she knew what was up.

[@nkroks4492]

Name of the show please. Thank you

[@arborist3227]

@@nkroks4492George Lopez

[@TheBodybuilder250]

@@nkroks4492The george lopez show

[@Exoticalk]

@@nkroks4492George Lopez show

[@samclayton628]

@@nkroks4492the George Lopez show. Dude called the show out by name in the video

[@sksksksksksksksk]

omg this has always bothered me. sam winchester from supernatural has been sexually assaulted so many times throughout the show and its never taken seriously

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I can’t stand the statement, “men can’t be raped”. There have been many cases where that is proven and I also hate when women say it. What the f? It is just another side to the perfect victim narrative and just like women are not believed, men aren’t believed and taken seriously. It is just dangerous double standard after dangerous double standard.

[@muskaan3711]

I think it's a Kripke thing. He has Hughie been abused many times in The Boys and treated it as a joke.

[@bell.e.flower]

wait what

[@sksksksksksksksk]

@bell.e.flower the woman in white from episode one, the old lady in “red sky at morning”, becky, meg, pam, lucifer. theres probably more

[@spencerreid2086]

Yeah I remember years ago watching the episode where he's drugged and held hostage by a woman whose infatuated with him and his discomfort and him being humiliated is played for laughs and in the end she's let off the hook for her actions and I just found that kinda disturbing tbh like you can't even use the victim blamey argument a lot of tv shows sometimes use where a character is a jerk to someone or leads them on for their own amusement and then their suffering is meant to be seen as a kinda comedic karma. but in this case Sam literally did nothing wrong yet his suffering was still meant to be seen as funny and that idea terrifies me tbh to imagine that maybe some men and women in real life probably have that attitude when it comes to crimes like these being committed against other people.

[@zzonka7878]

The gaslighting that "boys dont face these things" in recent years is crazy. As a teen boy myself, its a crazy sentiment ive seen being passed around.

[@anotherrandomguy8871]

I hate it, because people try so hard to make to as if your experince doesn’t count or never existed.

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

This objectification is very prevalent in Kpop. So many girls think they own the guys, even saying it's their "job" to be a fantasy for them. When they start dating, they get threats, canceled, and lose everything. And there's no justification for it.

[@tatjana7008]

Reminds me my extremely good looking colleague who got bullied by female stuff after he got married (that happened in Germany). Its just that good looking people get treated as some eye candy by society and not taken seriously. I got my peace after I gained weight, so my life become easier without jealousy, hate and sexual advances

[@nineonine9082]

Sounds very similar to how the female stars get treated. Parents and society has failed younger generations, not teaching them about healthy relationships.

[@michaelammons2350]

As a guy that got sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, catcalled, groped multiple times since the age of 14 that male idol objectification is why as a kpop fan since high school I can't really join kpop fan discord servers. I did once and it horrified me. It all made me feel uncomfortable how the women act about male idols

[@DavidJones-ot8qu]

@@nineonine9082This has been an issue for generations. The only reason it’s more obvious now is because we’ve moved away from overall puritanism

[@YOSSARIAN313]

​@michaelammons2350 I had a friend who was a stripper. He hated doing Bachelorette parties because women think they don't have to follow the same rules as the men do. The bouncer kicked 3 times as many women out than he did men.

[@sagejennings4342]

I feel like portraying these teen boys as attractive in these plotlines also encourages audiences - even ADULT ones - to relate to that attraction. Maya was creepily younger than "super hot" Josh but adults were expressing attraction to Josh, who was still 17 too.

[@tintinismybelgian]

The episode of Fresh Prince when Will and his cousin are dancing for the ladies' fundraiser really disturbed me. Why would they play that for laughs? Disgusting.

[@lovestowritte3550]

I hated how they encouraged Maya's crush.

[@lautaroka5847]

And? He was an adult and above the aoc. What's the problem? What 17 man wouldn't like to attract older women. A dream.

[@EKsUrbanTracks]

I'm horrified at how normal these scenes would appear to my teenage self. It would look pretty grim if the laugh tracks were removed. I don't think it needs to be said that many of these shows were penned by men. Dan Schneider being here doesn't surprise me. At least the Lopez show acknowledges the double standard and how it's equally harmful to boys. Excellent video and great subject.

[@Kradch1]

The background laughter is the psychological effect of "conditioning." They put laughter to a situation to make you think it's funny, so your brain remembers those similarities as funny and not something to take seriously. Quite an evil use of it, alright

[@PearlySwine-y1f]

"Oh, men are being depicted as the victims of sexual assault? Obviously this is male fan fiction". I can't imagine being this vacuous of a person.

[@Bennyboy1985]

@@Kradch1 They do the same thing on late-night talk shows where they'll spend night after night ripping on certain political figures/ people of a certain political persuasion so that the audience is conditioned to automatically associate those people with ridicule and not to regard them or their ideas with any sincerity.

[@ThreadBareHope1234]

Agreed. This video is why any show that is very adult and stars kids (boy or girl) or just young looking people freaks me out. Sure its fake but why is kids su^king each other off/ being flirted with important? You know it's likely some freak director that wants to *see* kids act out their grossest fantasies. Also, we don't know what's going on back there, how these kids agree to it. Actually, we do know. There are kid actors that grow up and leave acting entirely (or kids that tried and never got in) because of the creeps they had to work with. I know they are already likely developing protections around this, and while I'm usually not for more censorship, we need A LOT more oversight with this.

[@MysticDojo]

I think another thing you can touch on is the abuse that's normalized in children's media towards boys, by that what I mean is like how Sam always physically and verbally abuses Fred for basicly the whole series and it's "funny" cause a girl bullying and de-masculating a boy is "funny" but this downplays and normalizes physical and verbal abuse towards boys, and especially when the girl is the offender the issue is not taken seriously. This is made worse by the fact that they somehow end up together by the end of the show out of leftfield leaving even Carly shocked and unable to register this XD. Stockholm syndrome aside it somewhat enables toxic relationships like that to form from abusive and unhealthy interactions

[@Neros_light]

The fact people ship it, scares me. I've been emotionally manipulated as a guy and it left me questioning so many things. It's dehumanizing. It disgusts me the way Sam treats Freddie. I always see Seddie shippers deflect and say Carly was just as bad but I highly disagree. Carly was at least honest with Freddie to a degree and didn't try to dehumanize or emasculate him

[@doid4354]

Not gonna lie, I always thought Sam was cool because she was tougher and fought back, but that ended up turning me into a girl who thinks she can hurt other people and get away with it. I had other issues as well, it wasn’t just the show. But yeah it added to the normalization of women being abusive and that being okay.

[@Spicie95]

I kinda feel like this goes hand in hand with how many adult sitcoms have a sexually promiscuous male character (like Joey in Friends and Barney in How I Met Your Mother), where it's funny that have a lot of sex and sometimes deceive these women to get into bed with them. We can joke about male sexuality, whether they are the pursuers or the pursued, but when it's about female sexuality, we usually see through the problems.

[@izzy1356]

Or even adult cartoons like Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel, which managed to do both somehow... They can't seem to make up their minds on whether he's a "sexually promiscuous male character who's there to make sex jokes or flirt with everybody," or a "male sexual assault victim in an abusive situation he can't escape from, who copes through hyper-sexualization." Am I supposed to find the character funny, or tragic? Am I supposed to laugh at a coping mechanism, or relate deeply to a (unfortunately) standard TV gag? This definitely wouldn't fly if he was a woman, but... Somehow it's fine because he's a guy...? And this being a popular show among teens right now, despite not being aimed at them, is kinda worrying.

[@Spicie95]

@@izzy1356 Well, I kinda predicted a reply like this on my comment, since Hazbin Hotel is the internet's favourite punching bag, even if it's just people saying the same thing over and over again to less affect each time. Personally, I've only watched the show once and didn't really vibe with it (though I won't lie, I am a huge fan of Helluva Boss). But with Angel Dust as a character, I don't see how he can't be both at the same time. He can be a victim of sexual abuse, while still enjoying his sexuality on his own terms. The two aren't mutually exclusive. And as far as I remember, Angel Dust develops in the story and learns not to harass the other characters and makes jokes with them instead of at them. As someone with autism, I can relate to the masking. I worry a lot about people finding me annoying, but I often end up intentionally annoying people for fun. Though I usually do it with people I feel safe enough around. Sometimes there's a power in reclaiming your fears. I'm also AroAce and still make lots of sex jokes, which is quite normal for people like me. My objection to the sitcom characters, is that they are supposed to be static and never really learn from their actions, because the genre thrives on the status quo. Barney Stinson actively deceives women in order to seduce them. He has a playbook with schemes, dresses in costumes and gives fake names. His friends will occasionally condemn his actions, but more often than not, they stand by him and even help him carry out his trickery. The show gives him a weird backstory, about how he got his heart broken and then became the person he ended being, but it only makes him look worse, because he clearly knew better at one point. He wants to leave this persona behind for Robin, but he also deceives her multiple times, and after they divorce, he goes back to his old ways yet again. All of this is played for laughs, while brushing off the lasting consequences his actions have on the women he targets. Joey Tribbiani is only saved by the fact that his show pulled him to the background and didn't have as much focus on his promiscuity in the later seasons. Angel Dust will no doubt develop further and prove that he can change. That is the benefit of a story driven show. Assuming the show gives him an actual consensual romantic/sexual partner or just liberates him from his soul contract, it will be clear how he really acts with his sexuality. A far more worrying portrayal of a sexually promiscuous male character in animation, is Glenn Quagmire from Family Guy. He commits actual crimes towards women, played very much for laughs, and yet sometimes he has moments of heartfelt sincerity, so the audience might be inclined to overlook how horrifying his actions are. Yea, I wrote a bit of an essay here - I tend to do that 😶

[@xShadowChrisx]

because pretending that men and women are the same is kind of silly. There's a reason we have different instincts in regards to both. Women will literally find men with a wife more attractive, while men will universally find a woman with a husband or prior partners less attractive. You can't change how our instincts evolved us to behave.

[@cddll24]

@@izzy1356 I personally saw Angel Dust as a character of strength. Someone who has horrible sexual things done to him that he hated. But also someone who loved sex and didn't allow his bad experiences to take something away from him that he loved. Just because he loves sex and has been horrifically assaulted doesn't mean he's using sex to cope. It was almost like he had the very healthy attitude that the assault wasn't sex, it was violence. So why should something only tangentially related take even more joy from his life?

[@lindseytaylor3793]

@@izzy1356 you can be a victim of sexual assault and also enjoy sex lmao. It's not like you can just NEVER like sex just because you've been sexually assaulted. It doesn't even have anything to do with male vs female, you're just straight up wrong. You are putting sexual assault and abuse survivors into this box of what YOU think a victim should act like. Just because they don't fit the victim genre you've made up doesn't mean their experiences are now invalidated. To offer my own perspective and experience as an anecdote: I was violently sexually assaulted when I was 15, but now I'm in my twenties and could accurately be described as "promiscuous", but that doesn't mean I "can't make up my mind" between being a sexual assault victim and enjoying sex. Sex is fun, it feels good, and there's nothing wrong with wanting it so long as it is legal consensual and safe for both parties. I like having sex, I like making sexual jokes, I'm "sexually promiscuous", all despite what happened to me when I was 15. Because what happened to me when I was 15 wasn't "sex". It was rape.

[@memedealermikey]

I’m quite early as well, so you may touch on this point. But I felt that this ‘understanding’ that young boys should/do want sexual assault from women can impact how young men view their own trauma. If this expectation is not considered wrong, then when it happens, how else is it supposed to be received? I think it’s part of the reason why this sentiment has lasted so long in our society…. Uncomfortably long.

[@Nonyah123]

It’s not an understanding that they want assault, just that they want sex, with whoever, however. That’s what we have been taught/has been promoted. And yes, many of them sincerely do want that. The difference is that we now know that minors cannot understand the full impact of their choices, including sexual choices. Therefore all instances between any minor and any adult is considered assault, no matter how much attraction or desire he may feel.

[@larafranke1802]

I once saw a video of a KZbinr talking about r*pe, and he made the suggestion that it would be less worse if the guy is attractive. He then said that guys should write in the comments if they would rather have done it to them by an older woman or a young, attractive one. I immediately unsubscribed and questioned why I had ever watched his videos in the first place... Also, my mother once told me and my sister how she kissed a stranger on the street at a christmas at which she felt very lonely. She talked about it as a funny story, but after I asked some questions about the situation, I gave her my mind that this was sexual harassment she did. He couldn't consent, and if the genders had been reversed, she might understand what I mean. What she did happened decades ago, but I didn't let it slide just because she is my mother.

[@bimates2690]

Did she just go up and kiss him? Or did they both kiss each other?

[@larafranke1802]

@ she just kissed him and then left him standing there, I don’t know if he kissed her back, but I guess not or if he did, it might only have been a reflex. This was before I was even born. She was in a bad mental state at that time, but it doesn’t justify what she did to that man

[@NlsnBckr08]

*Oversexualization of boys in media* Teen wolf : I absolutely don’t see what you’re talking about

[@upsetstudios1819]

That's such an ironic example to me, because I've never met anyone who watches the show for the "absss". It's all about the fully clothed adorable nerd

[@rimel9157]

It's literally the first show that came to my mind reading the title

[@Nemo12417]

The worst part is the backstory where a character had been groomed as a teenager by an adult woman, and fans shipped that now adult character with a teenager, and the director gave winks to those fans. The show had a bizarre charm to me, but the sexualization is something my probably asexual self could do without.

[@dmancluster2631]

I’ve never seen it, what’s some of the things Teen Wolf did to oversexualize boys? I’m genuinely curious

[@rimel9157]

@@dmancluster2631 boys being shirtless for no reason especially one character called Dereck whose all character after season 1 is to take-off his short all the time and also gets harrassed by a female vilain just to attract fan girls . some female characters did have a bit of fanservice but nothing close to Dereck's character.

[@alyzu4755]

Thank you for this! I was 40 when the first "Twilight" movie was released. Other women my age were lusting over the then 17 year-old Taylor Lautner. It was hugely disturbing. 😞 I was in the entertainment industry for over 20 years. It's really not a place for minors. And the fact that we gave, for example, Mary Kay Letourneau, the benefit of the doubt is disgusting.

[@sarahsbakingcreations]

Yeah, that disturbed me too. It also confused me. I mean, the older women had Charlie, the hot single dad! Why do they want the 17 year old boy?

[@alyzu4755]

@sarahsbakingcreations Right?!?!?

[@Awaken12578]

Even if he was 20 it would be creepy because that age gap is close to a parent-child age gap.

[@xXHashassinXx]

In the 80s I remember we'd all complain that "school age kids" were often played by actors clearly in their 30s. Now that I've become close with some people in the entertainment industry, I will happily pretend that any actor of any age is a minor of it means no actual children are ever involved in any form of the entertainment industry ever again.

[@hdervish2497]

That always gave me the creeps. Even when I was underage, I wasn't attracted to underage guys. That's why I just didn't date until I was out of highschool

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

While adults play teenage characters on these types of shows, Desperate Housewives has a controversial storyline where Gabby has an affair with a high schooler because you guessed it. He is conventionally hot. Not only was the age difference a power imbalance, she and her husband hired him as their gardener. Talk about another abuse of power dynamics. I know Desperate Housewives is supposed to be satire, but people still feel mad and grossed out by that storyline today.

[@muskaan3711]

Yeah that was disgusting. Also in American Pie when one male character who's 18-19 has an affair with his friend's mom!??

[@queenbee3561]

Fair enough! It's super gross!

[@mustanggox]

maybe it's just me but sometimes im glad they have adults playing teenage characters bc the shit they have the teenagers doing on some of these shows (euphoria for example) is crazy. btw that's not to say this doesnt happen irl bc it does

[@amethyst034]

@@mustanggoxI agree, several of the skins cast members have come out and stated they had a bitter sweet experience. They were happy of the spring it gave them in the acting career but felt like they were made to do inappropriate things at their age of 17-18, which would be far more suitable for actors in their 20s to do.

[@gottesurteil3201]

Yeah I always hated her for that. And she alleged to only have done it because her husband, who worshipped her, really didn't "love" her.

[@catalystcomet]

When I was either 16 or 17, I inadvertently hurt somebody, a boy my age, and even at the age of 35 years old, it is the most shameful and disgusting thing I've ever done in my life. The thing is, I didn't know it was possible to do that and I know it sounds like an excuse and trust me, it's not. I'm only trying to explain. But I had been raised to thinking that, much like what you're showing here, cute boys always wanted cute girls and I was. We were both drunk at a party and I'm grateful that things stopped, but it went way too far without consent. It was not okay. It's still not okay. I'm now the mother of two boys and I'm so grateful for you making this content because I really could have used it. I also say this as somebody who was a victim many times over in my life and I knew that it was not okay that I was abused. The strange thing is, what this kind of content does, is I did not think that what I was doing was anything like what was done to me. I am capable of looking back at it now and knowing that it absolutely is the same, but just like what you're saying here, it's not modeled that way. It's not taught to us that way, and it has to change. I know that it changes with me and my kids, and although I've made amends with my friend from a long time ago, I'll never be able to take away what I've done. Edit: I understand if people are working through things and they feel the need to tell me how horrible and atrocious and awful my actions were. You are correct and I do not hold it against you, only myself. So if I get dog piled on, I fully accept it. I deserve it.

[@detectivedaffodil437]

You were influenced by the media, many of us get influenced by it. It is not entirely your fault. What is remarkable is that you were able to self reflect and recognize that your actions were wrong. Not many people are able to do that. Not sure if you have tried to reach out and apologize but you must forgive yourself. You know better now, you have evolved.

[@NumberOneTeen826]

@@detectivedaffodil437 yes, it’s really important to forgive yourself My cousin’s boyfriend hurt my cousin’s feelings and she ran away and gone missing for a day before they were dating. He couldn’t forgive himself but I told him he has to if he wants to move on and forget about it. I also told him he’s a wonderful boy and that my cousin loves him so much.

[@marmalade8915]

Props to you for growing as a person and owning your actions, media is unfortunately a powerful influencer

[@gregvs.theworld451]

@@detectivedaffodil437 You're right about self reflection being a hard skill a lot of people don't care to even attempt to try doing. Even myself, while I do make a conscious effort to try and doing, I'm not confident I'm "good" at it yet. I honestly think that's one of the toughest barriers men face when we try to speak out against the systemic issues that harm us. We all participate in society and a lot of harmful ideas are propagated in some part by the majority of people, which means from an intersectional angle there are women and femmes who perpetuate and enact harm onto men, and a lot of women and femmes are not ready to hear a man truthfully tell them that and have that conversation. I think it's going to be a massive uphill battle for people to take men's complaints and vulnerability seriously, and I think part of that will have to be men taking a note from feminism and standing by, repeating, and refusing to back down from the position there are real systemic harms felt by us that need addressing, and we'll need to stand by that position and not budge as we're written off, ridiculed, mocked, scorned, hated, I suppose the only violence we might be relatively safe from is outright physically attacked, though in the age of the internet indirect damage like d0xxing isn't out of the question.

[@amazzonkane]

Congratulations on working through your issues, holding yourself accountable and doing better. That’s the best possible outcome and what we should all strive for. You shouldn’t have to be branded for something you took ownership of, learned from and changed from. It’s also amazing that you recognize other people projecting their trauma and understand it. That takes a lot of insight. There isn’t a lot of real help for trauma that is easily accessible to most people. Trauma truly warps your brain, and for protection, you see the worst in everything around you. And you’re often cruelly told that you’re powerless for being upset about what happened. People too often say “you’re letting them win and giving them power by thinking about it.” So hurt people try to take their power back in unproductive ways as a result. I wish you well and lots of future healing.

[@caramelcoffee706]

I don’t know about y’all but I never found it funny when Spencer or Freddie was violently assaulted by girls especially when Nora assaulted Freddie, twice, even as a kid I felt guilty for laughing or even giving an uncomfortable laugh, it was very icky

[@lanatoneto3815]

Holy! I was thinking of this throughout the video, I felt so uncomfortable watching that as a kid.

[@reet7060]

That shit was ALWAYS gross It actually lent into my internalized misogyny and homophobia. I was assaulted by another girl and I started to see young women as aggressive and predatory. Still saw old men as creeps. I’m all good now

[@Neros_light]

I don't like Sam because my school bullies were often a lot like her. Very verbally and emotionally abusive to me. Physically? I was never touched. But it's left so many scars. I relate so much to Freddie now that I think about it

[@caramelcoffee706]

@@Neros_light seddie was definitely a cute idea but looking into it, it was toxic from the very start, Creddie is a little better but I hated it when Carly kept leading Freddie on even in the reboot

[@Neros_light]

@caramelcoffee706 probably my only gripe with Carly tbh.

[@Chigger]

As an ace man, I feel incredibly uncomfortable at the double standard. Even in real life, some people are confused when they learn I don't chase women (and they instantly assume I chase men if I don't chase women), and it feels wrong to just be expected to behave that way, and I don't even like flirting, let alone the majority of everything else.

[@edithe4119]

i was a child when girl meets world was starting. i never even realized the issues between maya and josh because i was so young. i really wanted them to be together 😬

[@danielaguahnich8339]

In the scenes shown they are supposed to be 16 and 19 I don’t think it was that terrible

[@edithe4119]

@ true but she was in middle school when they met. it’s more about what age they actually are not the age gap itself

[@melodi2036]

​@@danielaguahnich8339 14 and 17 actually. Maya and Riley were high school freshman in that last season

[@maloneaqua]

Yeah, I'm not totally following maybe bc I didn't see the show but in high school, 14 years and 17 year old share the same spaces and that hardly qualifies as an age gap relationship

[@ashleymueller8844]

@@maloneaqua I agree. And I don't think it's odd for a couple in that situation to be like "Hey, I like you, but let's wait until we're both adults to date." I think it's actually very responsible and mature. Many teens in that freshman meets senior situation will continue to date and often do more controversial things despite the different legal status because they met in high school.

[@lesterwilliamsjr649]

I feel so sorry for the actor played Beck (From Victorious). The show had such a wide range of talent but Beck just got reduce to eye candy. It sends a bad message that if a guy is very attractive that's all he'll need.

[@jeremystewart1022]

Big time rush is the same only 1 guy is eye candy and very attractive

[@edithputhy4948]

@@jeremystewart1022 I mean a boy band is literally supposed to be eye candy for teenage girls

[@Whackadoo1]

​@@edithputhy4948but this is a show. We want our characters to have personalities and depth outside of being just nice to look at.

[@Bridesmaid042]

it's the same for women tbf. it's just that there are different opinions about both genders

[@negressprincess]

Moesha had an episode about this too. Hakeem was hooking up with an older woman and Moesha was the only one calling it out for being inappropriate. Her dad even said that if she was in that situation with an older man he would’ve beaten him up but straight up says that it’s different for boys. And how the episode ended was poorly done.

[@pleaseshutup7053]

The truth is poorly done what 😂

[@negressprincess]

@@pleaseshutup7053because they didn’t really call the lady out enough for grooming him.

[@dannydamnmendez]

The show also had that ongoing plot at the end where Dorian was hooking up with his teacher and it was played for laughs. It was so gross

[@icohen1627]

There was that episode in Friends that pissed me off so much. It was when Rachel hired an attractive man named Tag and firing a competent woman named Hilda. She didn't hire him because he was good at his job she hired him because she was attracted to him. She hired him because she wanted to sleep with him. That pisses me off so much and it is one of the reasons why Rachel ruined Friends. She is dubbed as a feminist icon but then she does that. However another instance of Friends that pissed me off was in the episode where they were late for Phoebe's birthday dinner. Monica is understandably upset at Chandler for smoking but that is where it ends when it comes to my understanding of Monica. She pretends to forgive Chandler just so that they can have sex. Not only are they late for Phoebe's birthday but she also used Chandler for sex. Somehow the episode plays Chandler's anger as a joke.

[@l.n.3372]

Rachel was never a feminist icon WTF. She's absolutely in the wrong in that ep. Even Phoebe says so, criticizing her for firing the competent woman to keep Tag.

[@puppydoglove-b3o]

Realll had the same problem with friends

[@AB-dz7lo]

There are more problems in Friends than just those.

[@icohen1627]

@@AB-dz7lo Yeah but it doesn't take away from what I just said

[@janwel74]

@@AB-dz7lo Ross is a walking array of red flags. Truly disturbing.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I have been researching this and one of the biggest responses was that objectification of men can’t be compared to women because they don’t have jobs taken away or worry about getting raped and pay gaps. And I do see where they are getting at. However, what gets missed in the conversation. In the entertainment and modeling industry, boys and men experience the same pressure to look good and could lose jobs for either being too old or not have the right body type. Just like girls and women experience eating disorders due to comparing themselves to the impossible beauty standard they see in magazines and tv/film, there were studies that boys and men experience that too when it comes to how men are supposed to look like: strong, six pack, muscular, etc. I also don’t like the attitude that it is ok to objectify men because payback. The oppressed shouldn’t be the oppressor. But I do agree that women experience more discrimination than men do. I think there is a difference between speaking out on how men in the industry get objectified and deal with hardships to stay in the industry and ignoring what women constantly deal with on a daily basis in any industry. Speaking about one does not mean you don’t care about the other.

[@jackiemoffitt6780]

Also if you grow up gay as a young boy you will, in many ways, learn the same lessons about men that young girls learn and may face the same hardships

[@detectivedaffodil437]

I think there is still more protection for women than there is for men.

[@thedarwinist672]

I think it’s natural to sympathize with women more, but that doesn’t mean they’re oppressed more. Nothing women have to deal with even comes close to male circumcision. But that’s not taken seriously, because the victim is a boy.

[@MrReset94]

I overall agree, but I have to push back against the idea expressed here: "one of the biggest responses was that objectification of men can’t be compared to women because they don’t have jobs taken away or worry about getting raped and pay gaps. And I do see where they are getting at." Boys (and men) get indeed raped, and they can lose their jobs in this kind of situations. The prime example of that are the exact industries you have mentioned (modeling and entertainment), where many boys (and men) have been assaulted or even raped by agents, producers, choreographers, and more. They have been forced into giving sexual favors or they could have lost their current job or worse be blacklisted from the industry and never work again (some are powerful like that).

[@gregvs.theworld451]

As a general observation, I've noticed and commented for years that, in visual and particularly live action media, there's a tendency to portray everyone on screen, even background characters, with a baseline of conventional attractiveness that doesn't often reflect the wide range of people you're bound to see on any given day, and that the drop off for average looking people to be "ugly" actors in Hollywood is a steep cliff. I mean it'd be nice to get representation on screen for underrepresented and marginalized and ostracized people and identities in the first place, but hell it'd be nice to see representation on screen of people who just look like average people without a writer or director specifying that's what they're going for with a given scene or show/movie.

[@RatKingRussian]

As a guy who was taken advantage of while drunk by a woman. i was so scared, and borderline had a panic attack because I felt trapped even having said no 4 times. Eventually giving in because I was terrified if I went somewhere else in the house people would ask questions and I couldn't think it through because I was borderline blackout. It's absolutely destroyed my relationship with sex. I was already bi but now intimate interactions with women now frighten me. I am struggling through learning that sex isn't something I HAVE ta do. Like I SHOULD be in the mood all the time or I HAVE ta do it ta make someone happy and that I'm allowed ta say no. My current partner has been very understanding and helping me slowly.

[@L.G.127]

Sadly I noticed double standards too. A lot stuffs were shown to us when we were kids and normalized as it's nothing. Glad to see someone speaks about it

[@AdrianHernandez-rn1sq]

I feel so gross about this stereotype. I feel like one of the reasons why women being oversexualized and only men can be creeps is so expected is BECAUSE it unfortunately happens a lot. But just because of that fact, it doesn’t mean all men will accept all assault and sexual movements from women, and that men can’t be sexual abuse victims. Not only me, but many of my friends would feel very uncomfortable if older women wanted to know if they were single or “show them a thing or two.” Oversexualization can unfortunately happen to anyone, regardless of their gender or age. I’m really glad you attempted to shed some more light on to this, I’m very impressed with your work

[@authorviviannehillary]

Protect both boys and girls please they all human.

[@TheEctoFreak]

agree.

[@leonagiordano6384]

Thank you for making this video. It highlighted a lot of important points. I have always hated it when people laughed off about boys being harassed and on the other hand, encouraging boys to be horrible.

[@totally41156]

immediately makes me think of taylor lautner. they made the dude's characters naked in almost every films and shows he was planned to be in even when it served no purpose to the storyline

[@esmee6308]

I remember way too many mum's being obsessed with him. He was an actual teenager whilst filming right?

[@zdaniel7106]

​@@esmee6308Yes he was 16 at the beginning of filming.....

[@theskibididu]

​Ye he was 16 in the first movie it was so weird@@esmee6308

[@nromk]

I'm going to add something else: I'd never go bully a registered sex offender for many reasons. Firstly, people deserve privacy. Secondly, there's a lot of things that get people on that list, among them being drunk and peeing at night near a school, spitting on the ground during the AIDS pandemic, even sometimes the victims of sexual assault can end up being registered sex offenders and if you concerns about your children you talk to them about it, you encourage them not to keep secrets that could hurt them or others people, you don't go to possibly beat up a stranger. Thirdly, stranger danger and assault. You don't want to get in trouble. What if they're armed or even worse, what if you end up in jail for physical assault.

[@PearlySwine-y1f]

LOLOL. You literally went on a tangent about why people on the list should be respected. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you're on it lol.

[@Bennyboy1985]

@@PearlySwine-y1f Bet they really hate Kyle Rittenhouse as well

[@BlossomField91]

@@PearlySwine-y1f I find people who are obsessed with "hating" pedophiles/sex offenders (that aren't victims themselves etc) a bit more suspect, to be honest. Especially after a number of anti-pedo vigilantes have turned out to be pedos themselves. I don't like pedos but I prefer not to think of those freaks at all. It's a bit like "straight" men who are obsessed with hating gays and we've all seen the conservative/religious hypocrites who have turned out to be gay or bisexual themselves. The average straight dude simply doesn't think of homosexuality at all and is too comfortable in his own heterosexuality to obsess over what other men are attracted to.

[@htoaletaarxidatet]

"Firstly, people deserve privacy" even evil people? lol

[@nromk]

@htoaletaarxidatet yes even evil people deserve privacy, that shouldn't be an outlandish concept.

[@rohdger3390]

Great video, man. I’ve experienced this quite a bit as a kid, with older girls saying something along the lines of: ‘hit me up when you’re older’ or ‘call me when you’re 18.’ Looking back on it that was quite weird and unsettling

[@therealmr.incredible3179]

Not You Humble Bragging

[@Fenrith-Layprus]

Same with when people say stuff like “he’s going to be a little heartbreaker when he grows up,” I’ve seen “future heartbreaker” on literal boy BABY clothes

[@theboybandana6372]

Since I was 17 (21 now) it has happened 4 separate times and I have just recently (as in over the past 2 months) have I finally been able to get people to take it seriously. All too real of an issue that is very very hard to break away from the established expectations

[@AleighaFloyd]

This is so spot on, and being able to see real world parallels even within my own experience (between hot guys being seen as less weird for grooming and assuming nerdy guys are less of a threat) made it all the more interesting. Great video!

[@YoshiTheOreo]

I believe it's more than sexualization. There's also a gender bias along with peer pressure, coupled with the idea that sex makes you a man. That idea was heavily prominent in my years growing up, and it's not only these shows. It's steep in black culture too. The issue within the male space seems to stem from the idea that sex comes with no consequences. Despite the number of STDs, pregnancy traps, and psychological harm a older woman can do to a boy, that can transform that boy into the same monster SHE is. South Park touched on this concept and I feel like there needs to be a cultural imprint of establishing having a kid that young is going to rob you of your early years. So it's better to wait.

[@doid4354]

People say this then get mad at the idea of restoring Christian values within our society. American culture is sex-obsessed and that is not what this country was founded on. I really wish we taught the youth that sex IS sacred and not something that you need to race to get done.

[@LannyArtist]

@@doid4354 Yeah

[@Bennyboy1985]

@@doid4354 Christian values are at odds with the worldview of a large proportion of the influential people in Hollywood and entertainment media, let's put it that way...

[@BlossomField91]

@@doid4354 Religious prudery/repression and oversexualization are two sides of the same coin IMO. Neither of them are healthy attitudes to sex. On the religious side you get all the harmful shit like rampant homophobia (some people are simply not attracted to the opposite sex, get the fuck over it, it does no one anyone good trying to force gays to stay in the closet) and we all know the prudery is predominantly directed at and used to control women. A woman's value gets tied to her virginity. I'd rather society just treated sex as a fact of life and enforced the laws and encouraged health and safety in a pragmatic way.

[@darlacooper7930]

That scene of the George Lopez show played out a lot like a scene in Shameless, almost exactly.

[@swaynovember]

Ok so THAT'S what I was having deja vu abt; I had a feeling I'd seen another show with a similar scene but couldn't put my finger on it

[@blairknight8615]

recently saw a clip of that scene in shameless... not only was it brushed aside once they realized it was a female teacher that had been with one of her students but the dialogue she had was meant to relate to mickey;s feelings toward ian...

[@sevendayscili]

Yeah, but at least in Shameless, Mandy went back with two of her brothers and threatened to kill her if she didn't leave.

[@Karensmclarenn]

I don’t think it got brushed aside in the end. It turned out she wanted Lip to shave his pubics to appear more childlike and it was concluded that she was very pedophillic. Nothing happened to her but it concluded that she was weird af.

[@aishambengue3024]

Great video, as always. It's really disturbing how normalized this is cause it's not right no matter what. Whats worse i that we find ways to justify it because we have a tunnel vision or specific image on whay a victim should look like, act like or what they should have done instead of just protecting,believing,supporting and allowing nuance to all victims. The video was spitting facts, and im glad we are having these conversations so we can move forward.

[@scarlettalvarez8638]

The way Dan schneiders behind most of the examples

[@DaddyOfTheSugarVariety]

Sexual abuse is not cool, neither is slut shaming.

[@allister21]

16:33 having the text “Dan Schneider” appear as Carly walks away after having kissed the boy in the coma is really smth else

[@carltonesmith5015]

I appreciate this essay very much. It’s true - boys are sexualized in general, and for Black boys it’s even next level, given the accepted fetishizing of Black male bodies and sexuality. That could be a follow-up video 🎯

[@ChrisCooling]

that goes back to the days of slavery when it was not uncommon for Black boys to be used for sexual purposes. Also check out 1971's Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song. Melvin Van Peebles had his own son appear nude in a sex scene at 13, depicting the character being used for sex...

[@DillonHall-jz6bj]

But most of these shows it’s white guys not black guys ?

[@carltonesmith5015]

@ No argument there. However, @Tronn9672 stated at the outset that they started with real-life stories, got restricted, and then pivoted to fictional ones. The point I was making had to do with real-life. Whether fiction or real-life, our media has a longstanding bias against portraying black people and their perspectives. Hence the stories represented here were mostly of white boys being oversexualized. Actually by the time we talk about black boys, we need to shift to *hyper* sexualization. In addition to being reduced to the presumed size of their genitals and/or their presumed sexual performance, countless black boys and men have lost their lives because of the presumed threat their sexuality represents in the white imagination.

[@Nonyah123]

I never see black BOYS sexualized in media. Adult men yeah, but not minors. If anything, they are DEsexualized and never ever presented as the romantic interest. Cannot think of a single popular piece of media where a visibly black minor male was sexualized. That is reserved for black female minors which are highly highly sexualized in media.

[@birdiewolf3497]

@@carltonesmith5015 Yeah, I remember reading the one rapper was talking about doing orgies at 13. I was like umm…..

[@elkboy2538]

The sheer amount of male characters in popular media that have a rediculous amount of lust and sexual drive is insane. We're not all like that and a lot of us would rather die than be some sort of creep; at least I know would. In fact, all that I've seen in media has made me obsess about NOT being a creep, to the point where I overthink every interaction and feeling I have towards anyone to an unhealthy extent. Now, even after going to therapy, I get pelted by so many intrusive thoughts I'm only half there in a conversation, especially with a girl. I bet that's what the media wanted, it's not out of their character to implicitly hurt people. If anyone else feels similarly to what I described, I do suggest you go to therapy. It didn't cure me like I wanted but it definitely still helped. Don't leave your thoughts and feelings unchecked, because if you do, they'll lead you to a very dark place. Heck, I still haven't even gotten out of it yet myself. Instead, I just had to learn to live in it.

[@tigerfalco]

you asked for more examples, trust me this kinda thing is rampant, not so much the age gap thing but just "women being sexually aggressive is ok and funny". Ed Edd n Eddy, Fairly Oddparents, Pucca, Chowder, etc.... and I can say the shows I listed definitely had a lasting effect on me as a kid, but hearing the examples you've listed with these shows (cuz some of these I also watched) honestly opened my mind on expectations I had and my perspective growing up, only to realize things arent like that as I got older.

[@snailkat]

I would like to see a video on the objectification of attractiveness, and the difference between how society treats conventionally attractive women vs men!!

[@szjthetitan]

FACTS

[@Caine_west]

Yes!

[@bimates2690]

In fiction and irl?

[@snailkat]

@@bimates2690 yes!!

[@Randomlad56]

@@bimates2690 why not!

[@alexisfuller1503]

The "it only happens when youre hot enough" remidned me of a story, when I was maybe like 12 - 14 (can't remember exact age) I sat next to a pretty girl on the bus and different guys constantly harassed her and tried to touch her in any way they could every day. Those guys never once looked at me, spoke to me, or bothered me at all unless it was to insult my appearance. I didn't get physically harassed because I was ugly, but in those moments I was glad that I was too ugly to be harassed by immature boys who didnt understand boundaries and consent. I felt really bad for the pretty girl

[@IceFireofVoid]

I feel like, to some extent, it's not just the gender of the victim but the gender of the perpetrator. I'm a woman and I have had really bad experiences at the hands of other women my entire life, but when I talk about it, people will either tell me I am lying or they will minimize and make excuses for the people who hurt me (without even knowing those people) or will tell me that what happened to them was worse because a guy did it. I am nearly 27 years old and it is extremely difficult for me to trust women and I almost exclusively have male friends as a result of my experiences in childhood, but people will still regularly tell me that what happened to me doesn't matter/it couldn't have affected me that badly because it was a woman. Part of why I get along with men more easily is because it feels like men are the only people who believe me about my experiences because many of them were also victimized by women in their childhood and also had their experiences minimized and brushed off.

[@popis99]

In the show shameless, the characters find out that their new neighbor is a sex offender as well, thinking it was a man, But it was a woman, one of the characters (lip) decided to bait her, to prove that she’s still a predator. So he pretended to be a 13 year old boy, and “work” for her, by exposing himself, which does eventually work. He ends up actually enjoying the experience they have, until his girlfriend finds out what really happened and basically threatened to kill her or to let her move away. I always thought that was extremely weird.

[@Nonyah123]

I found it to be very accurate. A young male is not going to have the thought that he didn’t enjoy it after getting sex. It’s just not going to happen. It would’ve been unrealistic to have him not enjoy the experience. Men cannot help thinking with that part of themselves. Women absolutely think differently and we require a different level of protection. Let’s also not forget season 1 Ian with Cash, and then going on to date Mickey who was also an adult. In queer relationships especially, age gaps are rarely if ever addressed

[@Dolphinboi]

@@Nonyah123 did you forget that Ian was 15 when he was being taken advantage of by a middle aged man? You’re odd for acting like shameless is anti SA

[@Nonyah123]

@@Dolphinboi I literally pointed out that same thing. I never said it was anti sa, I said his reaction given his character and setting, was accurate. Please, read thoroughly before commenting.

[@BarbieDreamDungeon]

​@@Nonyah123 ....are you actually trying to say that men and boys LIKE being assaulted?! Please tell me I read that wrong

[@anotherrandomguy8871]

⁠​⁠@@Nonyah123”men cannot help thinking with that part of themselves” sounds very creepy and is rather just sterotyping, plus irl there ARE irl male victims that DIDN’T like what happened to them, but this just sterotypes that yeah, men only think about sex, therefore it wouldn’t be accurate to protray a dude getting violated as him feeling bad about it.

[@lalawonderland426]

Great video, thank you for bringing attention to this!

[@User-q8d9j]

its crazy how these situation you'd chuck it up to fake tv scenarios but they happen in actual life even if the tv show is silly if found these episodes skippable when i was younger as a female but i didnt know what it was called.

[@cj-cv7zv]

We need so much more coverage of this. Thank you for doing your part

[@Victorcolongarcia]

I never watched any of those shows but the writers were total creeps

[@TheJackRobin]

Thank you for making this video. I personally have been the victim of multiple “older” women praying on me and it’s always been met with “why is that a problem.”

[@joshswain6495]

One that sticks in my mind is Zac Efron in high school musical and especially 17 again.

[@Zachx]

Can we just keep the sexualization out of children's media?? Cuz it always made me uncomfortable as a kid. My friends growing up agreed with me too. I just think it's so stupid and inappropriate.

[@sagejennings4342]

So often it's so important to acknowledge the difference with that "see you in 4 years" stuff between not being attracted to a child and being attracted to a child but saying you'll wait 'til it's legal.

[@gregvs.theworld451]

Honestly, 99 times out of 100 "waiting until someone is legal" is a really creepy and gross concept. Maybe it's because I'm 27, but I cannot imagine waiting for someone to turn 18 just so I could be legally in the clear to be physical with them. Just because someone turns 16-17-18 etc., doesn't mean they suddenly become a mature adult like a magical girl transformation or a Pokémon evolution, no that's still a young impressionable person with a lot of living to do who's still far more likely to be used or manipulated if around snaky people. Maybe there's a very slight degree of leeway I'd grant if the person waiting for another person to become legal isn't that far from the younger person's age, but the age range between where that's more understandable and where that becomes creepy and predatory is very thin in my personal opinion, like somewhere in the early 20s thin. In fact I'd almost be inclined to suggest that (by American standards) if you're drinking age you shouldn't be pursuing 18 y/o's. Tl;dr: I think the trope of waiting for someone to be legal is gross in almost all cases and I want to see the trope perish in media forever.

[@bimates2690]

@@gregvs.theworld451In fictional media, it’s fictional. Irl? It’s different. But, either way, this is an American issue tbh, and it was only created to stop eighteen year olds from buying alcohol to give to younger ages. Other countries have the ages to do xyz the same/similar.

[@Parziphone]

Honestly your video on the exploitation of male teen stars is pure gold, if anyone hasn't seen it and needs a reason to look it up, let this be it, It's so tragically true and one of the effects people don't consider about when talking about how toxic gender stereotypes and the double standards people have when talking about these cases

[@rubygracemoseley8144]

I’ve only noticed this recently but yeah…in many movies or shows the way guys who are considered “hot” or “attractive” are just constantly shown off and get either close to or actually full on assaulted and it’s always played off for laughs or just not considered super serious. But if you did any of that to a girl character it would be an entire episode about sexual assault and it would be handled with respect and care. Which…is ridiculous. Double standards are awful

[@davidparkes3701]

That south park episode when Ike dates his elementary teacher and the police saw nothing wrong with it 😅 same idea ig.

[@stevenhiggins3055]

The entire episode was making the same point as this video. South Park is social commentary wrapped in satire, and that episode also came out during that stretch of female teachers being found to have sexually assaulted their male students, and then (iirc) getting fines instead of jail time irl.

[@shaheerkhan6815]

In my psychology 101 elective class, our teacher asked us how we dealt or coped with traumatic experiences, professionally and restraint namingly unwelcomed advances, alot of girls raised their hands and since the girls outnumbered us, 5 to 1, none of the guys came forward, i raised my hand and immediately got snickering from the girls, not the boys, literally the girls and the teacher just chuckled and said put your hand down please and gave the girls a "this clown amirite?" look, didnt help that im a heavy set guy who wasnt considered attractive enough for that to be possible. lmao same girls and teachers went on to campaign for "voices to be heard",

[@derekfutrell4908]

Very, very good video. I am having a hard time stomaching it through the 5 min mark. As a boy who may or may not have went through this, it’s life altering and terrifying. Confusing and shameful.

[@VocalEdgeTV]

Level of attractiveness also dictates the difference between flattering and harassment.

[@GariSullivan]

One thing I've noticed that I cannot understand is the emphasis of protecting women and girls from violence. I don't see how the issue of being the victim of a violent attack needs to be a matter of gender. Being the victim of violence, just like being the victim of sexual aggression, should not matter if you are a male or female

[@veryannoyedrn]

God thank you for this When I bring up the sexualization of teens in media people only want to bring up girls, and yes for good reason but dont leave our boys behind It isnt okay, children should not be used as fanservice.

[@starrysemi]

very important topic, glad to see you talking about this

[@aestinoct]

11:21 is this a "haha funny trans woman gross" joke we just glossed over? Or is the joke that she's actually a mature woman and not someone his age like he was intending?

[@GoeTeeks]

Pretty sure it's the former

[@ADerpyReality]

Little column A & a little column B.

[@AshaDiscoSushi]

I think it's a TransWoman joke. I'm also trans, and I noticed that too.

[@pastelreniva]

It's a trans woman joke

[@melodi2036]

Definitely a trans joke 😬

[@Lost_S]

Im honestly scared of what would people do if they got close to Luigi because they barely talk about his body as if hes human

[@madeofnonsense3634]

It’s really weird that so many people are thirsting over him.

[@LaraCookie5]

IKR! The man is good looking but people can be weirdos….

[@mercyjune9554]

timestamp? also who is luigi, last name?

[@Lost_S]

@ No time stamp, its related to the video in general, Luigi the guy who killed USA’s healthcare CEO

[@pizzaziuminfinionite134]

​@@mercyjune9554Mansion

[@ps-lt2jf]

I liked the reversed affect because it always bothers me of when the guy characters from any show or series dosent want girls at all and the girl wants him instead of the other way around and the guy is told to want it back regardless of what the guy dosent want to even at the end of the episodes rejects multiple ladies For examples dexter season 1 or in his youth not wanting to be around women or Malcom in the Middle Malcom running away from cynthia or og dragon ball goku not understanding girls surrounding him ryu from street fighter not even thinking about it for years sonic running away from amy or rembrandt from the warriors movie not joining his gang with the female gang or Raphael from TMNT 1 being teased by his brothers on about april or bobby from water boy who dosent make the first move at all because ladies seduce him instead of him doing it or little mac his love is punch out and would reject any woman over it and so many other characters Basically realistically what happens to guys if there not the clique of wanting women for example fresh prince of bel air will and carlton were opposite of the male spectrum will almost jockish and carlton prestigious nerd and yet both want women any way

[@BoopSnootAndTroubleshoot]

FINALLY someone made a good video about this, without making it a "boy vs girl" issue, but rather a "why do we not tolerate XYZ in this area, when XYZ also happens to the other part?" IT'S EQUALLY BAD! Thank you for shedding some much needed light on this topic. It is just as bad as making r*pe jokes about men for laughs and lols, but never even considering that that too is a huge deal.

[@ConstanzaRigazio]

I would highly recommend the series “A Teacher” which is about an adult teacher “dating” (grooming) her student. It depicts it as what it is, abuse and a traumatic event.

[@jevinday]

I'm so glad I stumbled on this video, I think this specific topic isn't discussed enough

[@Deriv44]

The female teachers coming after teens boys was like an epidemic at a moment in the media

[@Mandy87Marie]

Seems like it still is

[@Kerem-mf9oy]

I remember a case not long ago. A woman who was also a teacher, was caught having a relationship with a boy in her class. She only got 9 months in prison...

[@mforgottenbutnotgone]

Great video. This issue is very big and never discussed.

[@BlakouttheMM]

A combination of media and real life exploitation is the film Now and Then. It has a scene where the teenage girls steal the clothes of some boys who are skinny dipping. Those real life underage actors were forced to be nude in front of a whole camera crew and girls their own age. That would be mortifying and totally exploitative and you would never see it the other way around. Not to mention the millions of people who saw the movie. You can still find articles where grown women giggle about the scene. Totally inappropriate and obscene. How would these women feel if that was their son? This is an important topic and I'm glad you were brave enough to bring it up.

[@ThePrinceVon]

Never thought someone would bring up the George Lopez episode. It was a great one kudos to you!

[@Hana-Yomi]

FINALLY SOMEONE IS SAYING IT

[@GoeTeeks]

I mean, Pop Culture Detective did an even better video about this and similar topics years and years ago...

[@Hana-Yomi]

@@GoeTeeks Oh! I never noticed, thank you for telling me this!

[@malikpalmtreeaquatic4860]

💯

[@whatdoiputhere9618]

Wow watching this made me incredibly uncomfortable. I wonder how people would react if the sex roles were reversed. Definitely not ok, so why would it be ok for a woman to assault a boy? This is not ok. Thank you for bring attention to this

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

I mean to be clear throughout all of history people have said it is okay to assault girls and women.

[@alireza2847]

Actually, one thing that should be mentioned as well is how because women are always portrayed as being the victim in such situations, they are not held accountable to the same extent when they are the perpetrator or predator. This infantilisation of women is crucial in the whole narrative that women can't sexually assault men, not just the men's portrayal as the sexual aggressor who is always open to any sexual advances regardless of situation or context. This also is reflected when a man isn't even in the equation, as cases of domestic abuse of women in lesbian relationships are taken less seriously. This could also give certain women the impression that they can't sexually assault men or be creepy regardless of whether the boy or man is hot enough.

[@anotherrandomguy8871]

I agree heavily. A lot of people think that the issue is only that “oh men don’t speak up about it” but 1) I do see some men speak about about it, and 2) many people have the idea that a woman cannot harm others and that it’s “not so bad” when a woman assaults you, or that it doesn’t exist whatsoever.

[@anotherrandomguy8871]

I agree heavily. A lot of people think that the issue is only that “oh men don’t speak up about it” but 1) I do see some men speak about about it, and 2) many people have the idea that a woman cannot harm others and that it’s “not so bad” when a woman assaults you, or that it doesn’t exist whatsoever.

[@bluueeberries]

One of the reasons I stopped watching Gilmore Girls is because of some of the "jokes" about one of the main love interests Dean who was still a minor in the show!(I'm pretty sure the actor wasn't at the time but still!) It made me so uncomfortable.

[@Nonyah123]

I loved that episode of George Lopez. It really highlighted the double standard. And his son looking like an actual typical 15 year old instead of more mature, showed how truly gross it would be for a woman that age to be attracted to him. Doesn’t matter if we want sex, the emotional manipulation and harm that comes from being with someone that age is not worth it and affects all future relationships

[@kilimanjaro5537]

This is just more of a general statement but I also feel like part of the issue too, is the casting of visibly grown adults playing the roles of children. I feel like this also plays a role in people’s perceptions of the over-sexualization of kids. This warped my own expectations of what I thought people in high school were going to look like once I got to high school. I was expecting everyone to look like adults, which is weird considering that most of my crushes from tv weren’t even my age 😬(they were adults).

[@tanianino2578]

Not only in tv, it happens in real life. I have two friends (he and she), they are good-looking and wonderful people, but because they are cute, people assume that they MUST give their attention and accept everything people wanted to do. That happens especially with him. They are really tired of the "attention" because it is really harrasment 😢

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

It is CONSTANT harassment

[@spoiledbleach]

i really like your videos, ive never seen anyone discuss these topics, i hope you're going to continue your work :]

[@KitGoldenlance-x7w]

Hate double standards

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

You've been one of my favorite analysis channels lately. Keep up the good work! Also ugh with these videos getting demonetized, but we all know KZbin is all over the place with that stuff. It's an important topic, but I can see why it would be demonetized and age restricted. Also I think I've seen your face before, but for some reason this feels like a face reveal to me.

[@DeBlauweOlifant]

Im very happy someone brought this up. Men dont get the same emotional support and protection as women and whenever this is brought up the argument is instantly shut down. Thinking about it Im starting to think that women actually are unable to recognise it because its so normalised.

[@realblackterry]

I saw this in my feed and was interested in the topic. Started the video, saw what you said about the other video. Wen5 back to watch that one first, then came back here to watch this one. Overall I really like your take on this subject. And I appreciate your attention to this.

[@saracasten8465]

I appreciate that you pulled from multiple networks and TV shows to cover a wide range of examples. I did notice that your most “questionable” examples came from Nickelodeon while Dan Schneider was working there, which I feel is a correlation worth mentioning in your video. The other examples, such as Modern Family and George Lopez, focused on adults thinking under a double standard to protect their children, which is less societal and more close-to-home. Admittedly, the Disney Channel Girl Meets World one is most shocking because it’s hyperperfect Disney, which I wonder where else Disney has done this. But that falls into Disney’s typecasting of characters in movies and shows… Anyway, I think the reason WHY is just as important as the WHAT that I would love to see evidence for in your video.

[@cantalope6980]

Also we have to remember most of these examples (esp to children audiences like nickalodeon) were literally written by pdf-files so was also most likely their fantasies and insecurities being written into account lived out by the characters

[@jtom2958]

Ferb and Venessa . Venessa kisses Ferb in one episode when she’s in high school and he’s in elementary school. And in the episode that takes place like 10 years in the future, they’re dating. So by that time she’s a full blown adult likely mid 20s and he’s just out of high school.

[@pizzaziuminfinionite134]

That is weird as hell buttttt Ferb is confirmed 19 in that episode

[@lovemyjesus369]

8:28 yes exactly and also I remember when I was younger watching this episode and thinking it was weird

[@libera7161]

Unfortunately my boyfriend thinks like this too. He told me how he had sexual fantasies about his babysitter when he was just 7 or 8 and that boys like it when they get that kind of attention. I think that he just was brainwashed by media to think that way. We have two boys and my female family members also already said how they will become handsome attractive men when they grow up. I think it's sad how boys are being sexualised, they are teached to be sexually interested early on and be sexually aggressive. It's just as bad as how girls are being sexualised. They don't have it better. I try to protect them. They're still very young.

[@kingozymandiass]

Why would you be okay with a man thinking seven year old boys can consent to sex when YOU have two little boys? He's not brainwashed, he's shitty. What if something happens to one of your kids and he victim blames them?

[@minichou]

Also in George Lopez, his mom is always making inappropriate jokes towards carmen's boyfriend, Jason. I was rewatching the episode, Angie gets Tanked, and George's mom makes a joke where she says if she was a couple years younger, she would do things to Jason. It disgusted me so bad! 2000s shows always had these creepy awful "jokes" being thrown around.