Homoerotic Bromances: An Answer To Male Loneliness

[@lxlxxl6217]

what cracks me up tho is when the “bromance” has 10x better chemistry, communication, and loyalty than they do w their girlfriends/wives.

[@MiltonGagliardi]

@@lxlxxl6217 Naruto in a nutshell

[@tomo8940]

"MEN. We know how to be friends."

[@Satawolf]

​@MiltonGagliardi Narutos first kiss

[@arthurpprado]

god forbid a man be emotionally intimate with his wife. Preposterous

[@etcwhatever]

Well for me its the same but with woman. I much prefer to date my own gender 😂

[@abbliee5439]

My brother has a close male friend he's known for years. They literally call each other every day to talk and play games. They're so comfortable with each other that they can be silent on the call without it being awkward. They just assume that when a topic comes up, it will come up. My mom and I jokingly call him his wife and even my brother does it to tease him, to which his friend always wholesomely replies: fuck you. Friendship is beautiful

[@cencent2189]

I have a friend like that and I think I would be more destroyed if I lost his friendship than a break up. Frienship is beautiful 🫶

[@nonamenodame]

Health friendships are a gift to humanity. Might even save us all y’all!

[@Ms_Introvert_4_Life]

He's lucky and blessed

[@clearfruit7901]

manifesting this for myself kiss me thru the phone my boi

[@BlownMacTruck]

The fact that you jokingly call his friend "his wife" is exactly the problem. Your brother is smart enough to know you're joking (and probably jealous), and you're projecting this by making "fun" of him. Plenty of others would not understand this. But even if it's a joke, guess what this is? It's toxic masculinity. That's what's fueling the loneliness epidemic. Toxic masculinity hurts MEN as badly as women, and probably worse. Even though you probably just think it's harmless fun, it's not. THAT's the problem. These tiny little jabs build up over time and result in men 1) being unable to empathize with other people/each other, and 2) suppressing emotional availability, which is the direct solution to loneliness. Instead, emotional availability is viewed as a weakness and to be avoided at all costs. And now, because they're in this state, they themselves engage in toxic masculinity, making fun of other men, exponentially furthering the cycle. One of the direct results of this? Gross "man-o-sphere" type groups, which gain more and more popularity daily espousing those damaging TM viewpoints. It's already incredibly difficult for cis hetero males to navigate this type of environment. Now imagine how much worse it is for people in minority groups, like gay men who've grown up being targeted for these kinds of comments. You are the problem, and you don't even realize it.

[@margarita2003]

The "but they're attracted to women!" thing never worked for me lol. Those writers didn't seem aware that bisexual men exist. And as much as I love mlm pairings, portraying close friendships between men is important too. Great video! Really enjoyed the analysis and the examples.

[@cencent2189]

Thing is they can portray both! They can be mlm AND have extremely close friendships with other men... From my experience with both, it can open a lot of comedy up!

[@Brmcfnm]

Because you're shipper and have fetish be Real

[@darlalathan6143]

There is a lot of bisexual erasure in sitcoms, too!

[@Muinaiselukka]

@@Brmcfnm I'm a gay man and what they're saying is true lol. Maybe it's because I'm not attracted to women, but it's rare that the main heterosexual couple in a piece of media gives me any sort of fuzzy feelings unlike the bromances

[@someguy2135]

I was in a similar relationship in high school and Junior High School. I'm a CIS male and my best friend was also a sis male. When he met his long time girlfriend I was included in a lot of their activities even though I didn't have a steady girlfriend. Many years later after I left high school and moved away I came to realize that I am bisexual and got a phone call from him where he implied he was gay. He and I never explored that aspects of our selves.

[@yikesdani123]

eric and jack from boy meets world were such a good bromance as well. they were never afraid to show their affection for each other

[@mangobirb8945]

And they were roommates 😏

[@Dolphinboi]

Why do y’all make a big deal out of straight men being affectionate with each other? It’s super common and people constantly talk about it

[@gayyunicorn]

@@Dolphinboinot everyone needs to be straight, too

[@alphadog3586]

​@@gayyunicorn you do know that men being friends with other men doesn't mean there is any sexual attraction between them right??

[@michaelaldredge-greenwell1692]

I was waiting & hoping they’d turn out gay and fall in love with one another and becoming boyfriends

[@scottlemay3386]

When Shaun said, "If I wanted to sabotage your wedding day, I'd do this." I thought he was going to kiss him.

[@HotTakeAndy]

Haha I did too 😂

[@thevoid1506]

if people dont mistake you and your best friend as a gay couple then you're not really best friends 🤷

[@Josh-q9e]

You guys will have an issue with gay couples being affectionate in public. There isn’t one way to be a best friend. Stop projecting. You act like that’s a rule. You’ve never met someone with sensory issues or someone that just isn’t into physical touch.

[@akrey08]

@@Josh-q9e they weren’t being serious lol

[@michaeladkins6]

@@Josh-q9e The video ended up being about sitcoms. Not real life.

[@marecku21]

I was recently on a Caribbean holiday with my best friend of nearly 50 years. He took his son and a friend of his son's on a graduation trip. After the trip, the boys told us everyone at the resort assumed my friend and I were a gay couple and that our request for extra bedding for the living room couch was just a front (in fact I did sleep on the couch).

[@crowwatcher172]

Agree!

[@AJ-xc4qe]

We need bromances AND bisexual or pansexual male protagonists or male love interests of female characters in fiction.

[@RizzodiraRizzukku]

Im confused by this comment. Could you explain?

[@nighthunterfrost8251]

@@RizzodiraRizzukkuhe’s basically saying that the men’s sexuality should be more multifaceted outside of female attraction, where even tho the main male protagonist may end up with a female character, they still explore the sexuality and increase the protagonists romantic options not restricted by sexuality, or the later of where the shows protagonists is female with lots of male suitors why not make one of the female protagonists romantic rival be a man instead of the typical female romantic rival.

[@RizzodiraRizzukku]

@nighthunterfrost8251 ah okay thank you. So more bi male mcs and such?

[@Svalinn-s1j]

​@nighthunterfrost8251 why can't we have gay characters?

[@BloodLeopard-rm8wg]

No we don't

[@carydum9356]

Men yearn for validation from other men and it comes in different forms: social, emotional, physical. Gay or straight.

[@BloodLeopard-rm8wg]

I'm not fighting this statement, but it seems like the only thing holding men back is themselves.

[@elstonngunn4193]

Some men do things for the validation of men or for the validation of women it’s not always intense and is on more of a spectrum but is usually the case

[@catdownthestreet]

​@@BloodLeopard-rm8wg 100%. I get the sense that many, many men would feel more fulfilled in their relationships if they didn't try to perform masculinity this hard even as it's hurting them.

[@seoulku]

that’s pretty gay

[@carydum9356]

@@seoulku Actually that's what most gays and "losers" lack from the men in their families.

[@cencent2189]

As a male myself, I have a 100% plantonic relationship with another man that is like most of these bromances. Except we are both open about our emotional intimacy and needs, and it's the best relationship I've had in my life.

[@KaiDecadence]

And that is great. I mean I assume that you don't feel as lonely as you could've been if you didn't have this bromance?

[@ScapeVEVO]

So that means you’re secretly gay for each other right? Cause guys can’t possibly have those relationships without being attracted to men

[@KaiDecadence]

@ScapeVEVO If women can have deep friendships with other women while keeping it platonic, why is it hard to fathom that men can't have the same thing?

[@ScapeVEVO]

@ idk ask shippers who get mad about canon hetero ships I was being sarcastic lol

[@inkkid376]

I ship it

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I think what is nice about bromances and girlmamces is seeing people having these life long friendships and it makes sense they mimic romantic relationships due the closeness of the two. Romantic relationships can be short term and it is harder to find that one life long friend. And I like that they don’t have to turn to romance and intimacy is important in any kind of relationship, but the type of intimacy varies with each one.

[@angelagokool9514]

I used to love watching Friends, Boy Meets World, The Big Bang Theory, and Two and a Half Men. The "gay but not gay" dynamic between male best friends was often touching and hilarious! No matter how hard the show insisted that these guys were straight, they couldn't deny the closeness they had.

[@Godaerentalos]

I’m confused. Are you suggesting that male closeness=gay?

[@embreis2257]

exactly this rubbish notion of 'gay but not gay' is the problem. being [very] close is easily associated with being gay. spending much time together is already suspicious, if you add other innocent things like sleeping in the same bed or heaven forbid, occasionally kissing each other even for the best of reasons, and you land in the box of being gay. as long as your environment thinks like that, we should not act surprised if men have trouble forming close relationships with other men. the term 'gay' should get reserved for men who have sex with each other. if you don't have sex, stop calling it gay.

[@jewlliankaplan3946]

@@Godaerentalosbisexual people exist

[@kggamerking4777]

​@@Godaerentalos you can have a platonic relationship with people you could possibly find attractive 😮

[@jeremywright9511]

@@embreis2257 America has a weird problem where EVERYTHING is sexualized. Men grow up bitter and alone because there is a stigma against growing close to other men. It is a backwards culture because in many areas of the world men have very close and open bonds despite not being gay (though who knows what goes on behind closed doors, people can and do experiment but that does not translate into being gay). Ultimately I think this strangely creates a stronger obsession with homosexuality because since men are denied these meaningful expressive bonds, the concept of it "being gay" becomes the only talking point, meaning more hate and confusion towards the men that are actually gay. Hence the saying of "no homo" or using the word gay as a stand-in term for stupid or silly, it all comes down to stifled expression. Within the black and Latino community these aspects are doubled down upon even more.

[@coolbluetj]

As a kid, watching Shawn and Corey and Chandler and Joey helped me be comfort being vulnerable with my male friends without concerns of being seen as gay.

[@moonlightauras1]

I'm just here to say I hope every man who reads this has a best friend that he feels safe to be vulnerable with, regardless of if it's homoerotic or strictly platonic. I just hope you have another man in your life you can be your truest self with.

[@Robert08010]

Put that thing away. Ain't nobody wants to see your truest self.

[@catdownthestreet]

Or just any person, really. Everyone needs a person to connect with. I try to be that person for all of my friends, and I encourage my friends to be the best versions of themselves they know how to be. I think people should do this more without really worrying about whether or not that care and support fits into the accepted performance of their gender.

[@7h3m3g4n]

It's interesting when to consider the "write it gay , play it straight " mantra the creators applied to Chandler's character. I wonder how different his bromance with Joey would be if they'd made Chandler a gay character. They had considered making making gay, but ultimately made him straight because Matthew Perry was straight.

[@michaeladkins6]

They even gave him a cross dressing father, played by Kathlene Turner.

[@JLogg444]

God forbid writers make bisexual male characters (which are a majority of the queer community btw). I don’t understand this “gay or straight” argument when being bisexual is significantly more likely

[@davidcheater4239]

@@JLogg444 And there's the question with Joey about where to draw the line with bisexual coding and acknowledgement - after all he did date a guy.

[@kaylar.8126]

All in favor of bringing back bromances, but sometimes it really makes more sense for it to be romantic in nature, especially with the lack of a hetero love interest or something thay makes there relationship different then their other friends, or a plot related reason. I think queerbairing is greatly overstated, but we never get will they won't they gay romances that can simmer as friends the lovers like many shows do.

[@kaylar.8126]

I think all the examples you picked are good romances, though, and I would love to see more of them.

[@boxingelfis1499]

A show like Banana Fish comes to mind. We were robbed, robbed I tell you! Of what could have been one of the greatest anime romances ever😑.

[@RVforestgreen]

cough Naruto cough. like I'm not a fujoshi, but Naruto and Sasuke are way more compelling just reading the text straight than any of the actual romantic pairings that range from ok to downright kind of problematic(sasuke and sakura, even with the manga that makes the pre time skip stuff better it's still forced, weird, and regresses both sasuke and sakura's characters, at least with the way the text did it. there was a way to do it in a way that wasn't problematic, but that wasn't how the text did it).

[@Takejiro24]

​@@RVforestgreen I take your "Naruto and Sasuke" and raise you a "Kirishima and Bakugou"

[@RVforestgreen]

@@Takejiro24 heck yeah lol.

[@mikebane2866]

My best friend, my “bromance”, the man who was going to be my best man at my wedding next year, killed himself last December. It was this that really made me realize that I have a ton of real-life acquaintances, but my truly close lifelong friends have all either moved far away, been killed, or killed themselves. I have no one but my fiancé to really trust and talk to. No real dude friends. And that’s really hard to recognize for myself, but the older I get, the more I understand why it’s so important to have those kind of relationships in your life.

[@Carlos-zs1zj]

I can imagine the pain you feel. I'm so sorry to read that 🫂

[@mikebane2866]

@ Thank you, Carlos. 🤜🤛 I am glad that I am six months away from getting an advanced degree that will allow me pursue a career in therapy. I’m currently interning as a therapist now and my focus is mainly young men suffering from depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance abuse, existential concerns, relationship issues, personality disorders, and other severe & persistent mental health conditions. I didn’t start this journey 5 years ago thinking I’d be dedicating myself to focusing on men’s mental health, but after my friend’s suicide, my mission has never felt so clear. Often, I feel a lingering agony, knowing I lost someone I had considered to be more of a brother than my actual biological brother, who was part of many of my formative experiences throughout our adolescence and young adulthood, who was even born on the exact same day and year as me. The crucial part of dealing with grief is to take it day by day, live your life, appreciate what you have, and make an effort to be there with those who you consider dear. Power to you, Carlos.✌️

[@sfkeepay]

What Carlos said.

[@robkenyon6949]

America’s homophobic culture shames men for having friendships with other men. Male friendships are a normal and healthy part of life. We need to start pushing back against the small-minded bigots who want to control everyone’s personal lives and judge all our choices.

[@darlalathan6143]

Exactly! In Catholic school, the nuns started gay rumors about me and my best friend, because I didn't date, and we didn't participate in boys' PE, because we were geeks!

[@crowwatcher172]

Bulls eye!

[@linnaeusshecut3959]

When American men have a crisis in their life, they have no close male friends in which to confide. They often resort to alcohol or other drugs. Often, organized religion is the source of the fear of being called gay.

[@clearfruit7901]

It's a conservative belief that has its base built on marriage and childbirth. The roles men and women should/ *must* play and how they play into one another queer people almost never fit into this order, which is why people align with beliefs heavy on gender roles are almost always, No just always actually, intrinsically homophobic, transphobic, etc

[@Penname25]

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. Male friendships do exist and they are considered important across all cultures, especially homophobic ones. In fact, many cultures that have a history of homophobia prioritize male friendships based on the belief that men and women cannot be friends only people of the same sex can be friends.

[@mandolen3317]

I'm gay and my best friend is str8. I hate when someone tries to imply our relationship is somehow homoerotic because it's such a terrible description of my feeling towards him. It's very different emotional connection then with a romantic partner.

[@derekmaverick5986]

Same exact thing here. It feels bad sometimes, my friend’s ex broke up with him because she insisted that we had to be fucking behind her back, and basically demanded that he choose between is. Kudos to him for dropping her, but still it’s a shame that’s a thing that can happen.

[@scout6388]

could you tell me what your profile picture is from?

[@mandolen3317]

@@scout6388 evangelion

[@HW-wz3gp]

​@derekmaverick5986 I had something similar, I'm bi and my buddy is straight, and my ex would always get uncomfortable with our friendship and it was really annoying

[@catdownthestreet]

One of my closest friends is a pan guy who struggles with relationships and especially setting boundaries. (For context, I am afab nonbinary and aroace, so our bond is generally what's considered platonic, although I don't really use terms like that to describe relationships that are far more complex than that.) I do my best to be there for him and encourage him to look inside himself and eventually heal enough to have healthy emotional connections. He's basically family to me. I think everyone should have a person they can connect with and grow with, romantically or otherwise. I try to be that person for my friends (and anyone else I connect with who needs it), and that's manifested as a close bond between myself and my bro. He deserves nothing but the best, and I know he'd support me in a heartbeat if I needed him to. It's a very different emotional connection from my usual friendships, but it's just as important to me.

[@omgthisismeomgthisisme]

Love what Americans call "homoerotic", we Italians, spanish, persians call it normal male friendships haha

[@colinneagle4495]

I think the difference you see in American sitcoms is the addition of gay panic jokes and explicit comparisons to the friends being like a romantic couple. I've never seen this sort of portrayal in media from the Mediterranean cultures you mention.

[@RizzodiraRizzukku]

​@@colinneagle4495 in what way? Like do they kiss and makeout as friends? Or is tgat part of the jokes they play up for in tv?

[@colinneagle4495]

@@RizzodiraRizzukku Did you not watch the video that you just commented on? It explains the answer to your question perfectly

[@RizzodiraRizzukku]

@colinneagle4495 I meant irl. I did watch some of the video. I saw those moments where they were pointed out in the physical intimacy section. I was wondering if that happens irl too in other places. My bad

[@omgthisismeomgthisisme]

@@colinneagle4495 it is not just mediterranean cultures, its more like individualistic vs collectivist cultures. Masculinity is enforced through isolation in individualistic cultures compared to collectivist masculinity where "brotherhood" and community matters more.

[@Missmagazinebura]

Cory and Shawn have the best bromance 😊

[@muggz7752]

Slipknot?

[@Itsuchi2]

This is quite upsetting. 😢 The writers acknowledge the meaningfulness of male-male bonds but doubles down that being gay is something to be ashamed of. And having a male-male bond is only acceptable as long as you 1) keep it a secret, and/or 2) counterbalance it with a surplus of heterosexual activity and/or homophobic behaviors. This is soooo flustering. Writers do know how to write fantastic gay stories but always make them “straight”. But then when they do include lgbtq+ characters, they’re the most shallow and sidelined storylines, mostly just intrusive to the primary story, which is almost always heterosexual. It hurts both homosexuals in their accepting of themselves and heterosexuals in their sexual confidence. BOTH can and deserve to exist in a healthy human culture and be equally positive.

[@xx133]

Straight men have intimacy and explore, also. I also think that the writers write within the context of society as it is currently.

[@earlybirddreamful]

a problem with male-male-friendship depiction on tv etc was and sometimes still is also, that they're deeply entangled with mysogyny - more often than not, the narrative was that the girlfriend is an intruder to their friendship, trying to pull them away from one another, and that their relationships with women other than their mums, no matter if friends or partners, just don't matter much. thats actually a disservice to male friendships, too, cause while ranting when you were hurt is totally understandable, this whole bros before hoes type of talk tends to escalate quickly into mistreating women and being silent about it or even hyping each other for that, and thats another unhealthy base for friendships, to cause chaos and mistreat people. what i mean by this is that its like men were never just appreciated for a peaceful friendship that doesnt rely on that like that there are some better examples by now, like tao and charlie in heartstopper (and hopefully someone you know) - just men being friends with one another without anyone needing them to be a homoerotic/homophobic plot or gangsters or sth, they just get to be friends! they don't need to be part of a scheme or constantly proving they're close but not "like that", TO GET TO BE CLOSE.

[@LuxsorFlare]

I mean, most women bond over ranting about the men they've dealt with too. So I don't see why the reverse is bad. And there's nothing wrong with valuing your male friendships over the women in your life, given again most women do the same with their female friends.

[@issac2939-n2i]

That really isn't a problem.

[@myself2noone]

Oh pish posh. At worst it's a little playful ribbing between friends. People joke around with there friends and say things they don't actually mean. Grow up a little.

[@Dolceandgabana]

Clearly written by a sexist woman.

[@BozeDoesGodsWork]

@@myself2nooneNah that bros before hoes thing is toxic as hell. I’ve heard many stories about men with this mindset. Usually the men are either DL together or they are extremely violent, weak, and entitled. If you have a better relationship with a male friend than you do your own wife then that’s a problem. I said what I said and I stand on that. So pish posh nothing. If you want another man just say that

[@DubiousStory]

A very interesting hypothesis. It would be interesting to see how and if the homophobia could be extricated from the formula, while keeping the relationship the same. Or, if it's essential to it? To tell straight guys "it's OK to have intimate friendships" and the homophobic jabs just reinforce "these may *look* weird to those around you, but it's cool! We swear!"

[@lazlysun]

Well with the finale of arcane season 2 id say they successfullt took the homophobia out AND delivered what is possibly the most touching and poetic relationships in the show through jayce and viktor, so yes! It can be done!! And given the platonic/romantic/familial/bromantic/etc interpretations and arguments over their relationship i think they really got the balance just right

[@xx133]

It’s a reflection of society. Also, straight men have intimacy, and are curious.

[@VesperOfRoses]

codependent homoerotic bromance is what pulled me and my best friend through our 20's until we both got partners tbh

[@seoulku]

y’all are definitely gay

[@starstorm1267]

I’m all for bromances, as long as it’s not built on misogyny. A lot of bromance tropes I see in fiction (and frankly in real life) are a “bros before hoes” mentality. And also has a “temptress” trying to “steal” a guy away from his bro. We need to start enforcing the idea that men that they can still have a bromance while also being a loving partner to their girlfriend/wife. They shouldn’t have to pick between them.

[@frostbluez]

If you took away the societal pressure of “being single or a virgin = bad” I genuinely think most of these lonely straight guys would be perfectly content with a couple really close friends and some porn to jack off to. It’s really not that bad being single once you stop caring about it so much!

[@KaiDecadence]

Is this virgin shaming really still a thing? I would think that with the generation z era, that whole toxic mentality would've died out (I'm in my 30s for context).

[@1370802]

@KaiDecadence It’s gotten worse thanks to people like Andrew Tate.

[@catdownthestreet]

I approve this message as an aromantic person

[@Jaco059]

Ya but there is a society and men like strong societies and are a weak society

[@KaiDecadence]

This was a spot-on analysis, I'll admit that I was a little skeptical when seeing the title but the video actually was very thoughtful and it's something that I as a gay man myself have been saying for awhile now when the topic of male loneliness started to come up in the later 2010s. Ultimately you are right that the reason why male loneliness is such a big problem now is because not many men are engaging in deep friendships with other men and they foolishly think that if they get a girlfriend, it'll make their loneliness go away which isn't always true. Women understood that friendship is important among their sex class and sure, they never had to really deal with social stigma about having deep connections with other women that are platonic but deep down the people who truly judge and berate men who decide to get close even if they are straight are ultimately straight men as a whole. Straight men who have toxic masculinity via feel that expressing emotion and desire for deep friendship is "not manly" and in the homophobic case, "it's gay", it spreads like a virus to other straight men and that is how the epidemic of male loneliness became such a prevalent thing in the modern day, especially now as social media has taken over the first world in general which has made people a lot more lonely lacking that physical connection on a platonic level. As a gay man, we gay men usually understand that the straight male ego is super sensitive and we understand that if we try to be friends with straight men, we need to respect their boundaries though unfortunately some gay men don't get this memo and will try to make a move on the straight male friend that they may have a crush on which obviously plays more into the fear that straight men can have of what can happen if they befriend a gay man and ultimately, get too close with men in general and it's unfortunate. At the end of the day though, the thing that will really help straight men suffering from male loneliness is they need to get over their homophobia and understand that just because you have a deep connection with another man doesn't mean you're gay. If you're not sexually attracted to other men, you're not gay and it's perfectly fine to enjoy spending time and having platonic intimacy (hugging, talking about how you feel, etc) with your male friend(s) that you get on well with. If they work on and overcome this, they will feel better and if they connect with other men and develop a "bromance", even if it's just one, they might not feel as lonely anymore and if they can make it last as long as women and their friendships can last, I think men will find more happiness and satisfaction overall in their lives. But it all starts with the men and only we as our sex class can be that change.

[@Lboogie0711]

Joey and chandler plus Troy and abed had a great bromance

[@catdownthestreet]

TROY AND ABED MENTION! I am so autistic about Community, like I'm pretty sure I only got set up for a diagnosis because of how much I obsessed over their bond lol

[@twinkincarnate]

cool now talk about how when you're already gay and your male best friend of 10+ years who finds out suddenly distances themselves from you!!!! :) (before you ask, no i didn't make a move, the guy wasn't even my type, i just wanted to remain close friends) .. it's so hard trying to have male friendships as a gay male--because heterosexual men think you're going to hit on them (ironic), and then other homosexual men (not all, but a lot) end up hitting on you when you simply just want to be friends. and as much as i love my female friends, i've been craving masculine energy and it is literally eating me up inside. it makes me cry often, it really does. i'm extremely lonely, so so lonely.. just had to take a break from typing because i started to break down lmao. idc if i get called names for this. i will not apologize for having normal human emotions that I have been told to repress because it makes other people uncomfortable ??? i'm so tired of being lonely

[@KaiDecadence]

Fellow gay man here. I never had to deal with this per say but I remember when I came out as gay at 14, I had a straight guy acquaintance who said that he was okay with it but he started to distance himself and it totally sucked because I didn't even flirt or make a move on him at all. So even though this wasn't a deep friendship or anything, I remember still feeling quite crappy about the situation. And I've heard similar stories from other gay men so it totally is a big problem. I also understand how even though women can be a tad more accepting of gay men for friendship, deep down it would still be nice to have male friends as well and it can be hard to attain when you're a gay man since a lot of straight men have homophobia and with other gay men, feelings can become complicated unless you find that right gay guy where both of you understand that it's just a friendship (probably helps if it's a guy who's not your type and vice versa). i do think that straight men who truly want to be open minded need to work on their homophobia and internalized homophobia (they aren't gay but they fear if they get platonically close with another man, people will see him as gay and that makes him uncomfortable). They need to understand that not every gay man is going to try to hit on them and "turn them gay" (you can't be "turned gay", you either are or you're not lol).

[@joewu294]

Man, I feel you... I’ve been craving platonic friendships with guys too. Growing up, most of my friends were guys, but I wasn’t out yet and never told them-especially after I moved out of town. Coming from a homophobic country where many believe they can be "infected" by homosexuality, I know their reactions wouldn’t have been great. Now, it’s hard to rebuild that kind of connection. I’ve got a couple of straight bros I met while traveling or who traveled to my area, and we’re still close, but they don’t live here. We only keep in touch online, and it’s just not the same. I get the fear of straight guys assuming you’ll make a move on them if they know you’re gay-it’s exhausting. I can’t entirely blame them because I’ve also seen gay friends shamelessly hit on straight guys or assume I’ve slept with every guy I’m close to. It’s so frustrating because it feeds into stereotypes and ruins the chance for genuine, platonic friendships. I hear you about craving masculine energy too. It’s not something you should have to apologize for or repress. You’re allowed to feel what you feel, and it sucks that loneliness makes you break down like that. Just know you’re not alone in this.

[@twinkincarnate]

@@joewu294 Oh wow, you just made me feel extremely seen. I’m truly sorry you haven’t had the best experience either, and that a lot of people in your country are close minded. My heart goes out to you. It does get better with time though. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it more than you know. Everything is temporary

[@joewu294]

​@@twinkincarnateLikewise, brother. I have been dealing with this loneliness issue for a while, and it's been getting harder lately as I experienced some anti-gay attitudes before moving to a new area, which makes it hard to connect due to worrying about how I will be perceived. Seeing your comment is also comforting, as it reassures me that I am not the only one (gay) experiencing this. Hang in there, as you said, it does get better with time.

[@yourbestam]

Bro, go clubbing with that weird ass profile pic

[@boba2138]

shawn and cory have my heart 🙏

[@themoongateofficial]

Something happened during covid man, shit just ain’t been the same

[@talkmone]

THIS COMMENT DESERVES MORE LIKES 😅

[@jasperdilincoln2341]

It was before Covid, we just didn't notice 😶

[@brian_Austin27]

Yup, it was planned

[@catdownthestreet]

​@@jasperdilincoln2341 being stuck inside with nothing but the internet and existential dread to entertain us definitely did something to heighten our awareness of these things lol

[@iliveunderarock8070]

This is the best video about gay straight guys ive ever seen wich this is the only one but still

[@Lngbrdninjamasta]

I just call my close heterosexual male friends my brothers. They r family to me. Its important for my mental health. They can tell if I am hurting without me even opening my mouth. They r such an important part of my life. And I know that I am the same thing to them. Loving ur homies isnt the same thing as being in love with ur homies...

[@pilar8323]

Great video! This is an interesting topic to me because shipping and the analysis of male relationships has been such a big part of my experience in fandoms. It's important to portray close and intimate friendships that stay platonic between men, but sometimes the chemistry between the actors is so strong that it's hard not to see the romantic potential. My weirdest experience with this topic is BBC's Sherlock. I found the constant focus on other characters mistaking them for a couple, sometimes as a gag but other times in serious moments, combined with the way the creators got kinda hostile about reinforcing the heterosexuality of the characters very confusing, even more so when I found out one of the co-creators is a gay man.

[@catdownthestreet]

Oh 100%, all relationships are important to portray and discuss. Romantic and platonic relationships are equally important to our well being, although for some (including me, an aroace person), one is more important than the other when it comes to fulfilling emotional needs. It's so important to understand how relationships work, what is healthy and what is not, and how to navigate difficult situations in your life. Portraying every kind of relationship is not only beneficial to that understanding, but also necessary for growth. I'm a huge shipper btw. I love reading about my favorite gay lil guys. But I love platonic and other relationships just as much, because those are more important in my personal life. I seek to understand all aspects of interacting with others, all the ways in which relationships can exist, and through that understanding, I want to help people connect with each other (and hopefully also connect with others in the process). If you couldn't tell, I played Slay The Princess and it literally changed my brain chemistry, I seriously haven't been able to look at life the same way since I got the game lmao

[@arcyarcanine]

14:19 What Amy said wasn't a homophobic joke, it was just a gay joke. Most of the ones Howard says are homophobic though, especially when directed at Raj. It's like he's a stereotypical closeted homophobe.

[@MiltonGagliardi]

The golden rule stands: If you are not gay with your bro, you two aren't really friends. And this is why Kamen Rider Build is peak bromance fiction.

[@boxingelfis1499]

*cough* Saint Seiya *cough*

[@sontaranmc2109]

The cure to male loneliness is heated drama between men

[@Step43099]

Ay? 🤨 idk about all that, but I get the message

[@Dolphinboi]

You’re lying and made that “rule” up. Not everyone wants to be intimate with their friends. Ignorant comment. U don’t get to make decisions for other people’s relationships. Quit the projection. It’s immature

[@_snowboarding_snow]

​@@Dolphinboi Then it wouldnt be a friendship… just someone you talk to and hang out with sometimes, an acquaintance or something like that.

[@spoiledbleach]

ok who's gonna be the bro for my mance

[@talkmone]

😂😂🤣🤣

[@terry2308]

🙋

[@NateWilliams-dn7nf]

Im busy rn but im definitely watching this later Brodie. Just added it to my watch list. I’m tapped in!

[@piper998877]

Weirdly, society encourages you to have that best friend whose known you for multiple years, but is supposed to be temporarily extricated when dating someone, and then permanently extricated after the Best-Man speech.

[@letstaketime]

🎶It's guy love between two guys🎶 Turk and JD had a song about their bromance on Scrubs. Loved your video ❤

[@TioPatacas]

Hey dude, I love your content! I recently watched your undateable BIPOC costar video and immediatelly thought of Fez from The 70s Show. I'd say he has some similarities with Raj in my aspects. That show aged extremely poorly and I'd love to hear you dissect it someday, especially considering how you seem aware of it (you did mention Kelso in one of your videos and it made me want to see you analyse it even more).

[@_wittykitty56_84]

missed out on the bromance between Turk and JD in Scrubs

[@jayrey5390]

Brilliant essay! Sensitive and considerate, tackling some really difficult issues while highlighting a crucial aspect of male life-healthy masculinity is attainable, but it’s so poorly understood in media and society. So many good men have been led astray by insecurities and inaccurate perceptions of "manhood." The big question for me is: where did this 'ultrahet' homophobic idea of masculinity even come from? It feels relatively new-it’s not even an antiquated viewpoint. The Greeks and Romans clearly understood this. There have been amazing homophilic bromances throughout history, like David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18:1: "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." Honestly, that’s practically out-and-out homosexual in my opinion! Then there’s Gilgamesh and Enkidu from The Epic of Gilgamesh, one of the oldest stories in history, which revolves around their deep friendship and mutual respect. And of course, Roland and Oliver from The Song of Roland, whose bond exemplifies loyalty, sacrifice, and the chivalric ideal. There’s also Arthur and Lancelot, Holmes and Watson, even Han and Chewie... These examples show how deeply ingrained and natural such relationships are. They remind us that the current 'ultrahet' ideals aren’t timeless-they’re a relatively modern construct, born out of specific historical and cultural contexts.

[@mandalora5325]

From my understanding homophobia started being weaponized in America in the 40s and 50s when political leaders started decrying it in order to associate it with Communism. Thats why you see a lot of vintage photos of men being physically affectionate with each other as not long ago as in the early 20th century - homophobia was definitely a thing but disdain for it it wasn’t necessarily used in the definition of manhood. So yeah, this is definitely a recent thing

[@7dnein944]

Honestly, i'd just like to say that in my opinion: the ultrahet ideal stems from a self-conscious ideation about being perceived as 'gay' , this level of impression management can't be healthy for the person. As you hinted in your post, this is co-occuring with the rise of marginalized communities such as the LGBTQ. Maybe film-makers simply can't risk having their characters being seen as gay when they are written in bromantic style. So many of the works you mentioned are interpreted as homosexual by today's standards and what is annoying is that there is little way to argue against homosexuality/bisexuality in fictional/historical characters. Truly, the fact that someone has a bromance and is not actually bisexual does not make sense when viewed from the outside in, perhaps this is the reason that we, the men, seemed to have lost this level of masculine emotional depth and are silently suffering. What is often withheld within conversation, in my opinion grows subconsciously, it is like an elaborate inside joke where we say how we are gay but the joke is that we are actually the straightest straights.

[@originalmind9792]

AWESOME video. Accurate and smart analysis, thought provoking and empowering!

[@Effective_tool_of_Satan]

Gay men are even lonelier. Our society and its obsession with competition, its destruction of social bonds, it's killing us

[@twinkincarnate]

just made a comment about this... as a gay man, i don't know how much longer i can take. something's gotta give, and i can't be the only one putting in effort

[@KaiDecadence]

+1 gay man. I feel that the best route to take is to try to befriend guys who are into things/hobbies you're into. Still hard, don't get me wrong but if you have something in common, that can help as an icebreaker.

[@jemalo-cszweitausend]

I'm 24/m and never really came out as gay and still figure things out... In school, I used to be yearning for a platonic friendship and talked to boys because I found an interest in their sovereignty... yet without any friends to talk about these emotions (I was very shy) I sort of indoctrinated myself with modern sexuality... so till today I felt platonic urges for three people in my life - two boys and a women: and it never had anything to do with something sexual, yet loved them for their being. I don't want to be gay, just want to be free.

[@BloodLeopard-rm8wg]

Masculine gay men have it fine especially the ones who don't make their sexuality their entire identity.

[@Grace-n-gosts_No.1fan]

@@BloodLeopard-rm8wg ah yes because femininity is bad

[@kittyfreya9141]

This was a wonderful commentary on this subject. I loved it. 🥰

[@cleverlydevisedmyth]

dude 16:10 != Sean's love of his friend's voice. damn I remember that when I was a teen, when my best buddy's voice was better than anything, even if we never did anything sexual, his friendship meant more than anything.

[@ulrichhille5241]

I must admit that the older I grow, the more I like the company of other men. I think, men just know, how other men tick and can relate to them better. I'm just thinking of emotional intimacy. It's also a matter of personalty. You can bond with both men and women at a deep emotional level. And I think, it's easier for men to bond with other men. You should also take in consideration that people are different. Some really enjoy sharing their most inner feelings with a soulmate. And some do not. As I'm a guy, I do not know whether women are the same. But I guess, they are similar. As I learned all this from my mother. She said: "The most important thing in life are friendships."

[@Bogiiiiiiiiiiiiii]

I agree and disagree but I totally see where you’re coming from. But ultimately the idea that men can only be open with other men is the same exact sentiment that holds back men and women from being open and vulnerable with each other. There’s always been a social standard that men can open up with other men but not with a woman and same goes for women. We can talk about our personal life, struggles, accomplishments for hours but can’t do that with a guy. The funny thing is that social standard has contributed to the modern day failure of straight marriages. Gay marriages are more successful to straight marriages because of repressive traditional roles. Misogyny and even misandry is engraved in straight relationships, only being able to confine or be emotionally intimate with a male peer as a straight man is a result of subconscious biases/misogyny. I’m not saying make friendships aren’t important, but placing significantly more value onto them compared to a female friendship or even your own girlfriend/wife is an ongoing issue on how straight relationships lack depth and intimacy. Edit: want to clarify that I’m only coming from a female perspective, whereas I can be open with both men and women I find that men cannot do the same in most cases. On the average day I get little doses of a male peer being open with me, which is why I personally find female interactions to be more intimate; not because “women just get women” but because women are more willing to get personal with me. I’ve had the same outcome with both men and women being open with me and I don’t place one experience above the other based on gender. Both interactions are full filling and energizing for me because I value friendships very highly, all I’m saying is I tend to get that feeling more with women simply because women are the only ones willing to be open and personal with me

[@sfkeepay]

Your mom gave you the wisest advice imaginable, right there, in a nutshell.

[@aquaruisangel]

TRUE FRIENDSHIP HAPPENS WHEN YOU CUDDLE UP AND NAP WITH YOUR HOMIES!!!!!

[@astrolatte_]

Also when your kiss your homies on the mouth and whisper sweet nothings into each other's breath.

[@marcellobomfim5629]

To be alone, does not mean lonely. To express love to a friend, does not mean homoeroticism. If a man feels lonely, mostly is because he cannot express or receive it from anybody. He feels like he cannot do it as society constantly conspire against it.

[@Allystargirl]

Boys NEED representation in media of bromance on the REG. They need to understand it’s OK to kiss the homies, hug the homies, show their homies affection and love.

[@nadierela]

This video essay was well written. I can even go as far as to say it’s one of the best ones of the year for me.

[@stopjakeproductions7426]

This kind of thing in media was always foreign to me. I have close male friends, but none that are like a bromance. The older I get the more I long for this close connection. It's just kinda sad that it isn't socially acceptable yet to just hug your bro sometimes, and any form of intimacy is reserved for romantic relationships. It really does feel lonely.

[@tainadeoliveira]

Recently we got Arcane and Jayce x Viktor is seen by many as homosexual simply because they don't constantly affirm their heterosexuality and are vulnerable to each other. While you could make a case for it, we already have a homosexual couple in the show, and the sexual attraction is quite visible from the start. Riot has other gay couples in their universe and they have been equally explicit. I don't think they would be afraid of just saying or portraying Jayce/Viktor as gay if that was the case for their relationship. I think their relationship is so well written and beautiful that it makes people confused. In my humble opinion, they have the ideal bromance. They truly love each other, but it doesn't mean they wanna bed or kiss each other.

[@burnedoutgraduatestudent4482]

Well there’s also the part where Viktor and Mel are intentionally paralleled to each other (such as in the scene where Mel morphs into Viktor). And the way they call each other “partner” instead of friend.

[@fifteendozenalleyroses]

this is the entire plot of Superbad

[@btrdangerdan2010]

I tried to befriend a guy in college that i treated as a platonic bromance, we seem to had a lot in common, but of course it never works out when he finally found another gf 🙄

[@keal57]

Thank you for this really intelligent discussion on the importance of friendship. Well done!

[@CalebHamilton]

The fact that he chose to use Big Bang Theory over Scrubs is almost an insult. Not really but JD and Turk should have definitely been part of the conversation.

[@MrSolonolo]

Glad to have found this video precisely today-thanksgiving 2024. It just so happens that I was walking to the local store thinking of this very topic today and wondering how to express my thoughts and impressions on the subject. Seems you've left almost no stone unturned, with regard to television and entertainment. I can only add that this is a true depiction of what is taking place in real life.

[@azul86]

One thing I hated growing up was how people (in general) "shipped" characters who were close to each other as being in a romantic relationship when they were really just close friends. As a young kid and a teen, the disdain around gays in the people's voices I heard as I grew up forced me to be closeted for fear of recieving the same hate. And then seeing close relationships viewed as "gay," made me fear having any such attachment to another dude, despite how I longed for a connection myself. 20 years later, and I am happy with my husband now and no longer care about the stigma around being gay. But I never recovered from not having a close friendship. If not for my husband, I would absolutely be alone, with no friendships to speak of.

[@BTURNER1961]

I am stopping right there. There is a big difference between seeing homophobia as a barrier to male bonding, and see male homoeroticism in 'bromances' as a solution. We need men to be in each other's physical company both in groups ( your average B-ball pick up game) and spend time alone together (bromance time). We need men to be able and comfortable touching each other because touch is an incredibly important part of bonding that we are ignoring by selling texting, snapchat, and cellphone friendships as a breeding ground for intimacy. But none of it needs to be sexual, none of it needs to be read or interpreted as sexual or flirtatious. Matter of fact, that's part of our problem. We are turning forms of contact between friends that never was remotely flirtatious forty years ago , into something that now is flirtatious for entertainment value and we constantly turn it into a cultural and very juvenile joke, and its confusing and ultimately self defeating.

[@DoctorMario606]

Yeah I was about to say the title for this video is CRAZY 😂.

[@NFSMAN50]

This is a good video. I do enjoy the bromances. I've always embraced this, but it seems like not a lot of people don't value them. Some good bromances on TV are from the show New Girl; with Winston, Nick, and Schmidt. They all hang out with each other and support one another, and they also support Jess too.

[@NJGuy1973]

It never seems to occur to some people that a relationship can have dimensions outside the sexual.

[@H.P.93]

I'm surprised you didn't talk about Turk and JT from Scrubs. Also, I always got the impression that Raj from big bang theory was confident in his own sexuality and that's why he never seemed to be ashamed of his closeness with Howard until others commented on it. Howard came off like he was trying to convince himself he was straight.

[@ashleyterry2715]

I was in Korea for a year and a half and what I seen with the males between each other like male friends and stuff they have more of an intimacy and it was not considered like that and they wasn't like that but they just had that intimacy and it was accepted in their society

[@dughole]

great video! your videos are always so well thought out, & you get through so many big ideas in a short runtime. i think you get at a super interesting point here - that gayness is often defined by perceived gender transgression. shows like big bang theory, friends, etc, know that they have to re-affirm characters straightness when their male characters express friendly intimacy - because that is automatically a sort of rule-breaking. any sort of perceived gender deviance is automatically a two-fold "threat" - bc of how intertwined sexuality & gender are in our culture.

[@bradwalton3977]

Really good analysis.

[@ardentaxiom]

As a bisexual man, I've dated gay men and both straight and bisexual women, but my bromances with straight male friends have always been better than those romantic relationships. I've not had a good close bromance with a straight guy now for a few years and I've also been single for several years, and I miss the bromance more than the romantic relationships 😢

[@bet-a-betta6468]

But why does the bromance have to be with specifically straight men

[@ardentaxiom]

@bet-a-betta6468 It doesn't have to be gay+straight, bi+straight, or straight+straight, but if at least one of the guys in the bromance is straight then the risk of someone catching romantic feelings is cut in half, thereby lowering the chance of a ruined bromance.

[@xaayer]

I'd love a sequel where you dive into how the bromance has been a staple of fiction and how what you've discusses definitely is a relfection on perceptions sexuality (primarily a modern hypermasculine sexuality borne of, I feel, modern concepts of deity and religion). I feel like if you were to tackle mythical figures of masculinity, you could have fodder for another video like this, contrasting mythical manly men (fictional characters and not) from antiquity with today. Two examples come to mind: 1. Gilgamesh and Enkidu. The OGs of heroic male powerfantasy fiction. The trope of "two heroes meet and have to fight before they get along" can be traced back to this first story. But how does their friendship start? Gilgamesh has a prophetic dream foretelling their meeting and his mother interprets it this way: [Ninsun] all-knowing, understood, She spoke to Gilgamesh, "When there were stars in the sky for you, And something like a sky-bolt of Anu kept falling upon you, you tried to lift it up, but it was too heav for you, You tried to turn it over, but you couldn't budge it, You carried it, laid it at my feet, I treated it as equal to you, And you loved it as a wife, and doted on it: It means a strong partner shall come to you, one who can save the life of a friend, He will be the most powerful in strength of arms in the land. His strength will be as great as that of a sky-bolt of Anu. You will love him as a wife, you will dote upon him. And he wil always keep you safe. That is the meaning of your dream." Gilgamesh then presents a second dream to his divine mother and gets a similar oracle. When the two fight, it's clear they are both powerful and some of the descriptions definitely paint a Zach Snyder Man of Steel final fight vibe with the destruction, but when the fight ends, they embrace each other and from then on, they are the closest friends and allies until Enkidu dies and Gilgamesh is wracked with distress at the death of his friend (as wellas having to tackle his own mortality) 2. David and Jonathan. In the Hebrew Bible, we have tales of Jonathon and David's friendship and how, despite Saul's hatred of David, Jonathon is his ride-or-die, giving David inside knowledge to keep him safe. For example, "But David also swore, "Your father knows well that you like me, and he thinks, 'Do not let Jonathan know this, or he will be grieved.' But truly as Yahweh lives and as you yourself live, there is but a step between me and death." Then Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you say, I will do for you." 1 Sam. 20:3-4. That chapter has the two of them making a covenant together that ends with the following verse: "Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own life." 1 Sam. 20:17. After Jonathan and his father are killed in battle while David is away, we have David composing a song that includes the following verse: "I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women." 2 Sam. 1:26. I'm sure there is much more throughout ancient myth that communicates a rather strong bromance that could be explored. Anyway, great video!

[@CamReeds]

This vid made me miss my bromantic best friend we used to live together. Then when i moved, we would hang out every weekend, then i got a house, and he has been over like 3times

[@victormunhozzz]

From the outside, a friendship and a romantic relationship shouldn't look that much different. A lot of people marry their best friends. To most sociological questions, the answer is most likely "prejudice"

[@sodacanwater427]

i think one really good dynamic to bring up are Mac and Dennis from Always Sunny, who also get their own breakup episode. the thing i enjoy about that episode though, is that it's not a one-time thing. that episode is genuinely how they interact with each other the whole show.

[@Nicola-iy8bj]

Since everyone tells about their friendships in the comments, i will too :) I'm non-binary and since i moved to a new country two years ago i have a close female friend. And we often joke that she's my wife and I'm her husband because we know each other so well, that sometimes we seem like a married couple. Love her and not ashamed to admit it!

[@mason96575]

If I may ask, what do you mean when you say “non-binary”? (I promise I’m not trolling. I’m just an old fart and I hear the kids using this term a lot - and I just feel like I’m too old to ask… but I know when I was a kid, things like that were changing so drastically - And the old folks didn’t understand…. Well, now I’m the old person asking the kids: what does it mean? I want to understand… I do… Please understand: I am not trying to offend or troll, I just really want to know)

[@bdarecords_]

@@mason96575 Why not type it into your web browser and just search what it means on your own?

[@Lara-emo03]

Troy and abed from community overcome these mostly, love em

[@mason96575]

My favorite ❤

[@ashcross]

I support the idea of bromance. However, a lot of these depictions are predicated on the audience finding those relationships odd, funny, weird, desperate and a travesty of 'normal' heterosexual relationships, and in this sense the bromance trope relies on a kind of mild homophobia, one built in to the underlying culture, and not as an endorsement of those friendships. The humour comes out of the travesty. The idea is that such relationships are temporary and gateways not towards a different, long-lasting kind of society of brotherhood but towards the boys settling down with wives, children, careers, homes and cars.

[@joaovictorpessoaqueiroz4783]

I don't know why i was expecting a mention to Arcane's Jayce and Victor relationship in this vídeo, but i did.

[@kaiquew7312]

GOD i wish this video never ended......

[@Penname25]

So the solution to male loneliness is a bunch of queer bathing? No thanks. I’d rather have bromances in which there is no question of intentions than bromances that play sexuality for laughs or for representation that isn’t there.

[@Chumere-ds5yc]

.

[@guyfierimtwi]

I would be in favor of more non-sexual bromantic relationships where its implied they are in love. But they can still be bi or be close bros. Adding the sexual part turns a lot of people off. Also, by being bromantic more often it would lead it to be the norm. Not every bromance needs to be sexual because well, some are cuter and also some work better that way. Idk, bromances are fun and I think they shouldnt be afraid to show it but show that its ok to seem homo and still respect each's other boundaries if someone were to ask. Being bromantic shouldnt be weird at all. Its why I like the friends bros so well. You can ship them and it doesnt seem weird at all, even though the show never ever actually writes a plot about it. You can see it realisticaly through the show and it wouldn't be weird to mention it to "most" other people.

[@Josh-q9e]

@@guyfierimtwi just because you guys are bothered by men being attracted to each other doesn’t mean it’s bad for it to be shows. Men are so uncomfortable with the idea of men genuinely loving and wanting each other. Very insecure

[@guyfierimtwi]

@@JH-1008 I do agree with that, I'm just saying not every relationship has to be that way. There should be both. My personal preference is romantic mostly because I don't care for sexual relationships, that doesn't mean I don't approve of them. I'm just saying that if a show ever went there they're show is going to get some flack for it. Also romantic relationships would actually foster better ideas for future relationships since the focus is on instead of making it seem like sexual relationships between men are the only thing that exists. The more a show can make bromantic relationships seem commonplace(and that's it ok obviously because of x, y and z(assume the show establishes x, y and z as reasons), the better it fares for all types of relationships going forward. I still love kissing scenes though.

[@shadesteel9247]

​@@JH-1008 lmao your comment is so aggressive and personal for no reason 😂😂😂, they were just stating their opinion, instead of being a judgemental and oppressive person, maybe try to approach with nicer intentions.

[@darlalathan6143]

I see why those sitcoms were so popular, now! However, the homophobia has to go! These sitcoms were also corny, due to censorship. You'd think Hollywood screenwriters never heard of closet gays, bisexuals, "tearooms," or "rough trades!"

[@alberteinstein3612]

I just hope that in a few years we as a country can start moving towards acceptance for homosexual relations, and straight men won’t feel afraid to express their love and appreciation for their straight male friends. I just want homosexuality to stop being stigmatized, but that’s not gonna happen for at least the next 4 years. Maybe in 2028 the tides can turn

[@FirstLast-ii5cp]

Interesting video… I never watched any of those shows, so not too familiar with those examples - But I champion any guys having bromances, & everything in between!

[@yeahthatguy810]

This is a great video and analogy of what is allegedly happening today with men being lonely. Honestly, if men were just allowed the space to deal with their emotions, whatever they are, it would make for better men, better husbands, better boyfriends, better friends for some reasonmen don’t allow themselves that freedom that is easily and openly given to women. Unfortunately, men suffer from wanting to avoid anything. They deem as feminine and emotions are deemed as that, and showed us a sign of weakness instead of strength because you’re dealing with something and working through it.

[@Skull_Corn]

Its not just men doing it to other men, women do it to men as well. As a man who doesn't fit into traditionally masculine roles or actions, while yes I have had plenty of men make fun of me or belittle me for being more feminine for being comfortable with physical intamacy with men or more in touch with my emotions or as you said more traditionally feminine things, there have been plenty of women to belittle me for just the same thing because I am not being manly enough, or because I am being too girly. I have been told to my face by several women that it was disgusting for me to cry in many scenarios including the death of my grandfather. So saying that it is men just doing it to themselves is wrong. Its society as a whole that has these standards for men that shame them for doing things that aren't seen as manly.

[@jonbmia]

If you think having gay sex is a solution for loneliness, I don' think you know very many gay men very well. 🤣Not to say being gay dooms one to loneliness, at all. But loneliness rates are certainly as high or higher in gay men than in the general population. No I don't have a citation. I cite my own observations of my own self (and thousands of other gay men) over decades.

[@issac2939-n2i]

Where in the hell does he call gay sex a solution to loneliness?

[@frederickcombs8661]

The right makes for better looking and more confident men who are able to relate and make friends, maybe more.

[@ericapoitras9223]

When I watched bmw I was more invested in Cory and Shawn’s relationship then Cory and topanga

[@lowercase16]

Surprised Scrubs wasn't mentioned. One of the most famous bromances on TV.

[@divinechord7]

Wow, GREAT video 👍🏽👍🏽

[@GregginHOU]

The FB algorithm has decided I want to see the pics from a channel which is nothing but boys and young men in groups. While there are plenty of solo guy photos, the majority are of 2-7 young guys just being together, frequently shirtless, at the beach or lake, parties, on the couch watching the game, etc. You get it. And they always look so happy together, just hanging out and being with each other. More than once, I've thought "they're so clearly happy together, what do they even need girls FOR?" 😊

[@blairknight8615]

i remember when i first saw ashton kutcher and seann william scott kiss in dude where's my car? and although the kiss was hot it was set up to get back at the car next to them ..looking back on it we have came along way with depictions in movies. any time physical intimacy or hints at it in movies or tv shows in the past was done it was always for laughs or homophobic undertones.

[@AngelBridgeford]

A lot of men aren't taught to value male friendships to the same level of romantic relationships and feel lonely as a result of either not being with their family or having a partner, and do not have that closeness and platonic love with their friendships that somewhat, fills in that gap and leads them to have life-long friends.

[@satunbreeze]

Surprised you didnt include the main guys in Scrubs, who literally sing a song called Guy Love, which is a ballad

[@El5000Xd]

I was sure they were gonna talk about them in the video, but either Scrubs isn’t that popular (which baffles me) or maybe he thought these were better examples of bromances ( although he talked about The Big Bang Theory so I don’t know)

[@mason96575]

Scrubs had a big impact on us Millennials- but Gen Z hardly knows of its existence. It’s just a generational divide… I’m sure the same will happen with current shows and Gen Alpha

[@Suited_Nat]

Tbh, as a lesbian NB myself, I think a part of the answer is acknowledging how men tend to view any sort of closeness. It ain’t “feminine” or “gay” to be vulnerable. And to be honest, saying being friends with one person makes you gay is dumb. Like I think both need to be stated: queer people can be friends with the gender they are attracted to, but straight people act like you can’t do so with their attractions. The answer is, you can, while it could definitely be hard depending on a person’s circumstances, I’d say that communication, and communicating clearly is what best helps you with friends. A commenter mentioned saying that we need bi, pan guy protags as love interests to women in fiction, and I agree, in addition to platonic relationships. I feel like honestly, the most represented type of queer people is usually cis gay men, and that annoys me as well lol. Like gay men rep is important, but seeing bi and pan rep is also super important. Another thing that I’ve seen (and find it weird) is how people react to bi men. Like… some people think it’s “crossing a line” when bi people attracted to more than one person, or that it’s all about sexual intimacy, it really isn’t. But as for rep of bi characters, and bi guys, heart stopper actually has a main character who is a bi guy. This being said I also think there’s a conversation to be said about the fear of being perceived gay.

[@mason96575]

If I may ask, what do you mean when you say “non-binary”? (I promise I’m not trolling. I’m just an old fart and I hear the kids using this term a lot - and I just feel like I’m too old to ask… but I know when I was a kid, things like that were changing so drastically - And the old folks didn’t understand…. Well, now I’m the old person asking the kids: what does it mean? I want to understand… I do… Please understand: I am not trying to offend or troll, I just really want to know)

[@Sonovakei_31]

I know some will hate me for this but I always felt bromances are tricky. While I whole heartedly agree men should be more open and emotionally empathetic towards each others, I always feel on edge about intimate bromances because the majority of men already have a hard time navigating their emotions and to show such intimacy and vulnerability with their male friends can lead to confusion, emotional distress and co-dependency. A man that is straight can begin to question his orientation due to his bromance with his male friend and it could potentially ruin the friendship because the lines betwee romance and friendship begin to blur. It could lead to emotional distress and co-dependency like it was shown in all these shows but specially boys meet world (which i didnt watch) where the friend is so co-dependent of his friend that he crashes the wedding and basically have a sort of emotional breakdown. And it can lead to emotionally neglect their future female partners because they will prioritize their male friendships which would endorse the whole bros before hoes which is a toxic mindset. All this to say, yes we should encourage men to be more emotionally empathetic and vulnerable between each others, but be careful when it comes to intimacy. Some boundaries in friendship should not be pushed, if you do not wish to deal with the emotional distress that will come with it. I'm saying this from personal experience. I was too open and vulnerable with a friend to the point I was too clingy and dependent on them. I didn't realize how much i was butting in their relationships and making them uncomfortable. Im pretty sure some people thought i was gay when in fact im not, but because of the way i acted it made everyone uncomfortable. Eventually that friendship ended and I was in a lot of emotional distress. Basically felt like a break up. Eventually realized I was too intense and I had to accept there are certain lines that should not be pushed in friendships.

[@gooeydude574]

Reminds me of George and Harold in the Captain Underpants movie

[@OsiriasWorld]

There’s a bromance on modern tv that has something similar but without the awkward guy archetype and obviously homophobic joke tie ins, but because of the deep friendship they portray they have a really rabid and parasocial fan base that ships them and makes the fandom experience toxic.

[@dozzy9984]

How did you not mention Scrubs? I thought it has one the best examples of bromance in media, between JD and Turk. Also, I'm pretty sure in Will and Grace there's something like a inverted bromance between Will and Grace (and maybe also between Karen an Jack).

[@sears888]

33:42 i’ve never seen boy meet world (my sister did so i know somewhat lol) WHYYYY did i think when shawn said ‘if i wanted to ruin your wedding day i would do THIS’ HE WAS GONNA KISS CORY LMAOOO like i knew they weren’t but i was generally holding my breath for a second idk why loool 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@elitettelbach4247]

Really great video!

[@timthorn4064]

In most strict islamic societies where being gay is illegal/haram, men have closer relationships with each other than they do with women. These are entirely platonic relationships and there is no implied "they must be gay" because brotherhood is the foundation of these societies. It seems male friendships and bonds flourish most where there is no fear of being perceived as gay - either in countries which don't perceive close male friendships as such, or between males in liberal countries who don't care if they are perceived as such. I believe we here in our western countries need to stop sexualising close relationships, that is the real issue here. We tend to assume where there is emotional intimacy, there is sexual intimacy. Religious societies who don't sexualise everything, really don't have that problem.