Turtleneck Soup | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

[@TheoVon]

bit.ly/theo-von

[@mre741]

Theo who is running your Merch? I haven't received a response in about a month...

[@adils786]

Reply to the cancer guy below you king of the hill extra

[@jamesbaker3153]

Theo out here poppin bunny necks. Axe handle, Harris Hawk, Probably a Russel/Beagle mix if he had a hound howl on him and those are called hoods son. Get them skills bud. Old arts make for good times.

[@ashleibootz7147]

@@mre741 you you do a lot more work your way Jose the gym I I don’t think think 🤔🤔 I know I have no no worries 😉 love 💕💕 and you have so fun 🤩 and and you have to go

[@showtime1285]

Hope ur good man:)

[@jcasey2309]

“What’s that thing called... It’s like a basketball rim, but for your hand.... No, not championship ri... OH YEA, wedding ring.” 😂😂

[@danijo8932]

Lmao I was like... 🧐🧐🧐 basketball rim for you hand... 🧐🧐🧐

[@louiseb6111]

I just read this then he said it! 😂👏👌

[@kurmatt8916]

u can tell he thought of that one in the shower yesterday

[@19Burgandy]

Yea he does this alot. Tbh fake news hahah

[@AgendaInMind]

LOL, Whitney Cummings, the dutiful Group Thinking mask follower got sick!! Every disease is based on the Germ Theory, which was the theory of ONE man over 100 years ago. It was never proven to be 100% valid, and has not even been QUESTIONED again. Why? In order for a theory to be valid, it must be reproduceable in each and every person 100% of the time. Every single person exposed to a "virus" MUST get sick from it 100% of the time, over and over again. It's how you PROVE a theory is valid. This was never done. Scientists used to think witches and witchcraft were valid!! Educated people?? hahaha!! If you cannot "catch" cancer, arthritis or diabetes from another person, then you cannot "catch" a cold or flu. There is no such thing that only SOME diseases are communicable, but not all. It's either all or none of them...they are all based on the same Germ Theory. If you can't "catch" someone's lung cancer, you can't "catch" their colds or flu. Upsetting and distressing events in a person's life is what cause ALL cancer and cancer-equivalent disease, cold, flu, pneumonia, bronchitis, etc. The cause of death in Small Pox was PNEUMONIA, not acne lesions. The only people who “caught” Small Pox were the ones who were attacking each other..Indians and Militia....people who feared and were attacked by each other. A massive fear campaign will CAUSE people to be "worried sick", but sickness doesn't happen until people resolve their fears. Why do you think kids get sick in October? Because their fear of going back to school and being upset about it finally dissolves, and they get back into their routines. What the media and government is doing to people is criminal. Western Medicine is pure fraud. I can't be the only person in this disgustingly brainwashed world who knows about German New Medicine.

[@Oplutmagicman]

Man I swear Theo doesn’t even have to be joking, just the way he phrases sentences cracks me up

[@ffnovice7]

Who said he's joking?

[@periteu]

@@ffnovice7 🤣🤣

[@adlibswithalexdelesky7158]

"i went with a man, an adult"

[@hawaiigeneral3045]

Trueee

[@bambus_ross]

"Think about my feelings and feel about my thinkings" should be on a t shirt or something that was gold and super relatable 🤣👏

[@michaelkartman3543]

Theo could describe the walk he took that morning and it would be extremely entertaining. The way this mans mind works is so unique.

[@Drumcomedy]

Good to be here withoutcha actually.

[@frankymacf]

😂

[@gubbermint5756]

ALL of you in here would be, awkward 😆 but to a spider this room is okay 😂😂

[@nickystixxx2481]

Hell of a way to start a podcast love this dude

[@mitchking3348]

Can’t make this shit up. The brain power it takes to shoot shit like that is other worldly

[@Blessedup69]

Life sucks, _Onward_

[@hughjasol7327]

I’ve been a Conor fan for a while but the first person I thought about after Dustin won was Theo & how happy that moment probably made him. Stoked for Dustin getting the well deserved win & following acknowledgment by people who weren’t aware of how dangerous he is 👍👍

[@jordanandrews1195]

Me and my friend looked at each other the second Connor went down and said “yo I bet Theo is wild right now” lol

[@jontupac7890]

@@jordanandrews1195 it’s crazy Dustin only got payed 1 mil and connor made 5 mil I guess he still has high pay per view ratings still

[@romerosneck]

He's built different man

[@braedenfields1330]

“If these birds shit, it would drown a baby”

[@stefbruins7411]

So proud of Dustin Poirier 💎

[@shaunm1983]

Ive had that James Brown tune going through my head ever since

[@stefbruins7411]

@@shaunm1983 haha hell yeah man

[@acougarscub]

Theo: "Where's that falcon at?" Falcon: "IM UPSTAIRS!!"

[@angela-cc8cq]

Priceless!

[@timothyferri4669]

LOL

[@9xxDARKMIDGETxx9]

I’m upstairs 😂😂😂😂

[@thrillofbattle3801]

:D

[@fatbrat86]

Came here specifically for this comment... good excuses. Even during a fire.

[@bak1necWWE]

23:50 Poirier talk

[@eNnI088]

Thank you brother

[@ГражданинЗемли-г7ф]

Good man, good man

[@carsonwentz8301]

Perfect

[@dylan6679]

Don’t be skipping a theo podcast that goes against the bible and the Quran

[@jmct1142]

Was just looking for this. Thanks man.

[@kiankolahi]

"I was as high as 4 gay dudes in a hot air balloon.. I was hiiiigggghhh manng!" What in the ??? LOL!! Love this guy.

[@izzokhan6390]

Theo talking about Dustin like a proud step father.

[@ffnovice7]

If every stepfather had a mullet, America would be great again

[@marksmith3991]

@@ffnovice7 PTL

[@Kerrviii]

@@ffnovice7 I’m gonna tell my stepdad to grow his out!

[@davidfisher4082]

Best comment 4 sure

[@dbeck82]

Spit up my coffee nine seconds in, thank you Theo I needed a laugh!

[@Oli420X]

yeah that got me too XD

[@andrewmalakassis9223]

Bruh I’m a dealer & work at a car stereo store how is theo so spot on... he’s a wizard

[@highway82blues67]

Na man that’s a fed ass answer, looking for clients/informants to possibly turn

[@dtjones343]

@@highway82blues67nah facts though 💀💀💀

[@kung-fukennyfamily]

The only podcast I watch and subbed to on KZbin, don't understand why he still haven't reached 1m yet Smh,Big up bro💯

[@Apollo0nline]

i remember you from back in 2015 when future was on a tear w the hits . good taste brother

[@GreenFoxLeader]

Finally hit 1 mil dude 😎

[@RandyModdSteller]

Turtle Neck soup is what they were serving at Kid Rock's Birthday party

[@CLoZe14]

Damn right, pieces of Theo.

[@mcminn94]

"Big Dana Wallace the white money man " 😂😂😂

[@grifluke2498]

Best hour I've ever heard. Theo von is a humble genius

[@annamillar4794]

Humble?

[@walshy7499]

I was high, but also afraid of dawgs.... which are basically the same thing -Theo Von

[@jonbon1145]

Lmao theos ads are the only ones worth not skipping.

[@iAMitUnot]

I grew up in a small town with a high school drug dealer named Boof. His last name was Booth, but he had a sorta speech impediment and everyone called him Boof. The dude even had a huge speaker system in his car and he put “BOOF” on the back window. When Theo was talking about that stuff, he had me laughing good.

[@monkeyloven]

"And good to be here without ya, actually." - got me laughing in the first 3 seconds. haha!

[@2cupshakur]

So many golden moments in all your uploads man, thanks for the laughter dude!

[@Ngutech]

I think they were hawks. Not Atlanta hawks but from here. You know, local hawks. 🤣🤣🤣

[@niftyp2320]

Fixed my sleep schedule, ready for this morning and podcast

[@lukeadams6592]

I'm right here with you brother!!

[@ThatGuy-iv4tc]

Theo believed in Dustin before any of us did, gang gang

[@mentalmanny2926]

Theo looks like his spirit animal is a hawk.

[@johnsonpink6002]

Theo trying new hobbies would be a hit show. Dirty jobs but funnier, confussing, and lovable all in one.

[@garrettsasser4565]

Like Rob and big without big. Don't need him.

[@MrJoey889]

The way he described castlevania 😂😂 you had a whip and you were mad at the Realtors.

[@jonathonhollis7080]

I'm shocked that nobody else talked about how hilarious this was😂😂😂

[@zombierobotsheep]

“Hi Theo, my name’s John. I’m 57 years old and just became a grandpa and I’m about to retire, but I’m about to graduate high school.”...

[@spencerblankenship1732]

Nailed it, gang

[@thomascooper7219]

Appreciate your podcast man. My truck was broken into last night and they busted out one of my windows, and I have to pay $300 to get the window replaced. Not having a good day, but your pod brightens up my day

[@Cletus_the_Elder]

Theo, you are absolutely one of my favorite comedians. I don't know if you could call your podcasts "comedy" because they are more than just humor. It's connection based on our shared existence, which is what is really happening between comedian and audience at a club. Thanks for keeping these going though a rough year that we all had. I hope to see you in person soon. You might glance at our table or our row in the theater and think "Damn, I didn't think I had fans in that demographic." Brother, our families and our life's path may not look anything alike , but when you talk about your life in Louisiana, I think about how my busy parents made me grow up nearly feral. We would be latchkey kids, if we had keys. So, there was rocks, bushes, and embankments in my childhood, too.

[@eNnI088]

Theo looks like someone who picks up his kids from school on a quadbike

[@ntxtactical7629]

Theo looking $1000 dollars richer today, GANG!

[@tylerpayne9438]

He donated it to charity too, what a guy!

[@CezaMVO]

Turtleneck soup is what theo ate to celebrate Dustin winning. The Irish haven't faced a loss this bad since their Irish potato famine of 1845.

[@Soyuz2578]

The potato famine was in 1845?? Wowzers... Feels like yesterday lol

[@dillonjennings3226]

Had me laughing in literally five seconds. "Good to be here without ya actually". Pinnacle comedian

[@Bluecrush_5]

Had a rough week and this just made me so happy love ya Theo thanks 🙏🏼

[@seancarraher]

Never seen Conor respect anybody like he did Dustin.

[@brandonsampsel9035]

Idk what Theo is talking about...Donny's Enemy and Starburst Enema are thoroughbreds and legends of horse racing.

[@trelambert3158]

Man "I'M UPSTAIRS!!!" gets me everytime lol

[@FocalPointFL]

Couldn't wait to hear you talk about the fight and I was not disappointed! The podcast was on point, as usual! gaaang

[@DaLilVivi96]

Theo: "it's beautiful man, if you close your eyes and think about all the jelly that's out there" 🤣💖

[@markbushman6368]

Damn son. John sounds like he’s about to leave for his third tour of adulthood bruh.

[@badbadnotgoodgoodgodnotbad2930]

Theo looks like the perfect person to be named Dustin.

[@buckethead1928]

As a Dustin, I second this. Most call me Dusty though, and that fits Theo even better lol

[@K31R616]

Love you, Theo man. Another beautiful edition!

[@zdotspade]

This is one of my favorites for sure bruh I’m loaked out rn just wanna say thank u theo u helping me with a lot and we love you too and we mean that 🗣

[@peruvianfarmerbasereality6515]

Theo! Just wanted to remind you that your fans will always love you! Gang gang

[@S1X_Bucks]

I feel like theo sits and talks like this alone even when he's not recording an episode.

[@cocouno5504]

“...heat seekers. I’m talkin’ about the lords Southwest Airlines baby, big birds” 🤣🤣

[@odie6368]

Theo every time u talk about ur back hurting and feeling down I can’t relate more

[@markanthonymeaney1914]

This episode had everything! Loved it

[@LillyMunster85]

Everything Theo said about jelly is so true. I want a little of it right now.

[@BoogieBodine]

“Went and did some falconry they had some hawks out there” 😂😂😂

[@sarahc5465]

literally 2 seconds in and i've already laughed out loud, I love this podcast

[@champ1nine]

“I’ll stay in there and just, think about my feelins and feel about my thinkins”

[@sammorris4197]

Weird seeing Conor go down like that but Dustin deserves this more than anyone

[@Viking4real]

I don't understand why it's weird though? he is no different or better then anyone else, Mike Tyson also lost fights and was knocked down, so was Ali, so was GSP and José Aldo and Anderson Silva once upon a time. Conor is not better then any of them, they are all human and a guy like Dustin is not afraid of a fight and he is aggressive and skilled, Dustin has really good defense and he blocks weird as Max said in the corner during their fight.

[@sammorris4197]

@@Viking4real im not an idiot, I know any man get get kod , but I’ve never seen him like that , I don’t care who it is It’s not amazing seeing them knocked out

[@adils786]

"I used to play this game Super... wait Super Ice... Bros? Wait, maybe it was Super Smash Bros? I thought it was Ice Bros..? No wait, *Castlevania!* " 😂😂😂

[@Xxballin17xX]

Best solo cast on the internet

[@2bluBruce]

Your creative flow is totally UNIQUE 👍anybody that can improv on the beauty of jelly packets and rock it😂thank you bro

[@quinnck]

Hell ya, was hoping for this to enjoy my morning yesterday. Always worth the wait! Gang Gang Buy BBQ sauce

[@flex_piper]

Theo Von has to have the best bed time stories of all time.

[@dbcooper3444]

"THINK ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND FEEL ABOUT MY THINKINGS

[@Zacvocalist]

I love that hoodie! Anybody know who makes it?

[@kmarks7194]

Me and the Falcons became tight. Sent one to the store for Twizzlers. That Falconry baby!😎

[@CanoeCasters]

"...like a Jack Russel terrier. Got a little bit of that Eddie Bravo in him" HAHAHA DEAD!

[@BoogieBodine]

You know the first part of the Eddie bravo joke right?

[@Daveyjokes]

I feel like theo sometimes comes into his own conversations half-way through them.

[@johnnybaca2898]

Theo should name his next stand up special “When I was young” gang baby onward

[@iraembery7567]

Theo Dustin’s victory makes me feel like a hopeful orphan Annie. Hahaha

[@capealio]

🔥 🔥 1:17:19 Amazing advice from Theo 🔥 🔥

[@snesleywipessqueegeeservices]

There is absolutely nothing in the world like Theo and his podcast. I appreciate the heck out of him and it. (I hope the deep-voiced young man does not sign up for war ,with his folks consent, on this advice alone though) Bless bro.

[@brucehtdallas]

1st few seconds into falconry I bust out laughing

[@MultiPlaneApprentice]

When Theo mentioned the feeling about when you put the quarter in the video game machine made me really miss the old days and my stomach dropped because those days are long gone. Emo gang shit

[@ghost_in_the_robot]

Hanging out in the mall, listening to a burnt cd of indie bands your friend gave you to play on your walkmen. Showing them your tamagotchi or pokemon on gameboy. Those were the good ol' days.

[@sofiachiavini2785]

"what is it called when you're hopeful ... it's like a basketball rim but it's for your hand ... uhh ... They both had on wedding rings!"

[@jmlopez1486]

"He ain't gonna smell ya first, he gonna bite"

[@meghanxox]

I hope you feel better soon. Back and neck pain is no joke. 😪 Keep trying different forms of therapy and take the best care of yourself. ❤️

[@alexschilly6968]

Gotta come to Michigan once shit opens up man, love all your stuff, you’re awesome

[@tacticalty9693]

Start of this story sounds like somebody took you snipe hunting 😂💀

[@buckethead1928]

Ptl I’m home for this one boys 🤘

[@Frattoa26]

Amen praise god baby boy!!!!

[@louiseb6111]

Ptl?

[@Frattoa26]

@@louiseb6111 praise the lawd

[@Nock.Draw.Release]

PTL baby

[@louiseb6111]

@@Frattoa26 Gotcha! Thankyou!🙂

[@luisarcelay5016]

Dustin has redeemed himself. WHAT A FEELING THAT MUST BE!! #GANG

[@collinkeahey1]

Dude that called is the guy that hits puberty way before everyone else showing up to the 6th grade with a full beard scaring the shit out of all the kids.

[@windyPlays]

Hi Theo, as a proud Canadian I could not let you Americans take credit for the Greyhound Bus beheading. It actually happened in Manitoba, Canada!

[@michaeltataco1517]

I thought Canadians were nice, let us have this one lol .

[@seancarraher]

So crazy I was in a small gyro place and they stayed open late for me to finish eating. They had a TV on and He was on an nbc sports channel finishing the triathlon. And then a week later you had him on.

[@Ngutech]

I’m only 4 minutes in and this shit got me weak. 😂😂😂

[@frawd5]

Just when you think Theo is making up a story because it's just too hard to believe... boom! He shows you a picture of the exact people/situation he's describing and a falcon. Lmaooo luv it

[@bobbysuede4059]

Onward, thank you for listenin’

[@meranyleuraq6128]

When you feel the song and relate with Theo and everyone who is here feeling it at 1:23:00

[@spicetalk8672]

We all go through hard times . I hope your doing great and enjoying life theo . Gang

[@gracejenson]

Rip Billy Conforto

[@malikshabazz2065]

calling a wedding ring a basketball hoop for your hand is the best thing i have ever heard. that's including Stavy saying "thousand Island stare"

[@Fanatecfan01]

Theo looks like he brought packs of Marlboro’s to elementary school.

[@frankarmilio8902]

Theo looks like he got caught selling skittles like they were drugs....not in kindergarten, in his freshman year, of college

[@americannightmare2109]

Newport's baby

[@freezinnhiphop5435]

How theo held his hand up when he said "Falconry"

[@mentalmanny2926]

Super Ice Bro's sounds like a methamphetamine driven competition between buddies.

[@platinumbrick6]

I think Theo is the funniest guy of all time

[@StangaChase]

A basketball rim for your hand?!?!?!?😂😂😂😂 yo you’re killing me dude!

[@vegamedina289]

I was happy as hell Dustin won & so happy for him & his family. Then instantly thought about Theo gettin that cheese from Brenda Tatt jeans!!!!!

[@adrian9261]

get that sipper. and theres no way that guy was 17 calling in with his deep ass voice just to say “i have bad grades”

[@HookahDancer420]

Another great high school drug dealer ensemble is the football jersey, khakis, and nikes. Driving that 5 speed CRX.

[@marksmith3991]

Those lazy ass football player be slangin my dude had an audi a7 midway through the year lolol

[@andyoreo333]

Put some turtle neck in your Gumbo, I like alligator snapper.

[@lylehillman1453]

Love the podcast