Type 4 In Love | Enneagram Relationships

[@gospelforenneagram]

What do you agree with or disagree with? Leave a comment!

[@PrincessAnna]

As a 4, I obviously feel incredibly validated, seen, and loved ❤️❤️❤️

[@lexo-r4n]

This was really interesting to watch as a type 4 in a relationship with another type 4. It’s much easier to feel understood and accepted when both of us think/feel in the same ways and intensity.

[@gospelforenneagram]

Love that!

[@ClaraBowInThisLight]

So interesting. Falling really hard for another 4 but have seen being in a relationship with the same enneagram can be difficult. I love seeing happy stories

[@cmm867]

4’s are like the nervous system of the body. That’s so true

[@gospelforenneagram]

Thanks for commenting!

[@CuddleClaw.]

OMG, this is accurate. I feel like I could burst into tears. Best “4 in love” video I’ve ever heard.

[@gospelforenneagram]

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad it was helpful and meaningful.

[@kssgpv]

seriously, i feel so seen

[@jeremiahclark389]

My wife is a type 4, I am a type 5w4. Yes, relationship is intense and everything you are saying is literally happening to our relationship. Lots of struggles but yet lots of beautiful moments too. Lots of contradicting traits unfortunately but it can work out if you understand the types. Her best traits are her compassion her sense of humor, her ability to make beautiful moments. Intuition is off the charts beautiful and I listen to it, and it does help create a better life for me.

[@gospelforenneagram]

I loved hearing you affirm your wife. Thanks for sharing!

[@jeremiahclark389]

@Yemima Hutapea if he is unhealthy type, it will make it a lot more difficult but basically if he can stay more out of his head and just take action on things.. helps him tremendously. Hopefully he trust your intuition and let you lead with anything involving relationships and emotions. Leave the logical stuff to him ..communication.. opening up to him and letting him know he can trust you to hear what he wants to have in the relationship even though I'm assuming he's very logical if you can both use the balance of emotions and logic to make decisions about every area in life that helps.. good luck because I do know relationship and exploring life outside of the books and learning is not his strength, so just bring him out to the world and let him experience it. using your intuition to help him be out in the world. Once he's out in it he will not regret it and thank you for giving him the experiences. He probably just needs lead more with taking trips and taking action. Once he sees how much you care for him by your actions, he will follow suit. .. I hope this helps. Good luck.

[@karamarziali392]

Continue to love her and remind her that she is enough. Thank you for being the kind of man who is open to fully knowing his beloved 4!

[@jeremiahclark389]

@@karamarziali392 thanks for your kind words..I try🙂

[@kssgpv]

As an INFP 4w5, when you say "there is nothing missing", i would add "you are home, you belong here". Because i often feel i m looking for this place where i would perfectly fit in but there isn't one for me and maybe it's because i'm different.

[@Faeriefungus]

I’ve been studying for five years and this is adding so many new things to light. Concepts I thought I understood well enough but this video had helped me create an even deeper understanding. Many many thanks.

[@gospelforenneagram]

Glad it was helpful!

[@lakehairdontcare3398]

I tested as a 4, had my husband listen to 4 videos and it’s very spot on. We are confused about the envy. I’m not envious of others, to be honest I don’t want what they have. If envy applied to me it would be about fitting in. It’s not that I want what another has; it’s a sadness/melancholy that society is built a certain way that to be received you have to fit in; and I prefer not fitting into the world I see around me-superficial and external. I’d definitely say I can get resentful I was placed here in the 1st place- lol! I am 47 and have spent 15 years on a very intense internal spiritual and emotional healing adventure. I think I was more envious when I was younger. So I guess I’m kind of confused with that piece. If anyone has any input… Thanks for video!! 😊

[@gospelforenneagram]

Thank you for the response. I think envy needs a little nuancing and can't be adequately explained in a short video. Envy for sure will manifest differently in different levels of health. Also, it will manifest differently among the subtypes. Perhaps you can say that envy is an inner-discontentment that is aroused by the fact that so many other people seem content. When a Four looks at others, they may automatically assume that others have a certain quality (or relationship in their life) that makes them more whole/perfect/fulfilled. A Four feels like they are the only ones who have a deficiency and/or missing piece. But others seem to have what they lack. This puts the Four into a constant state of longing. But it doesn't mean that they want to be like the "cool kids" or in the trendy circles. They actually want to be different than the majority and like being a little hard-to-get. Does that make sense?

[@lakehairdontcare3398]

@@gospelforenneagram Thank you for the information. I do have inner discontent, I am very connected to another place, spiritually; and if I were to describe it, it’s really different then how the reality I’m surrounded by is. I had an NDE, I have had a couple large traumas. I have a piece with me that a lot of others don’t seem to have, or they don’t readily express. I don’t feel I’m missing a piece, I feel I have a piece from a different puzzle 🧩 lol Thanks!

[@downwardbrainspiral]

there are three different categories of an enneagram four that includes sexual, social and self-perseverant. i think what you described is leaning more onto the social side

[@kssgpv]

@gospelforenneagram why do you know us so well? i think i understand this kind of envy, while i'm happy for others i might think "nothing is for me". they can enjoy what i can't, it's not meant for me.Cause i'm so different, no one gets it. But it's not envy in a hateful way , so we are confused. It's not like i wish i was like them because i like that i'm unique and different. 4s are funny😄

[@kssgpv]

wow you almost made me cry, you are really good❤️

[@sarah-7526]

I feel so understood 🥺 thank you!

[@gospelforenneagram]

I'm so glad!!

[@blugirl214]

4w5 almost everything resonates just the bit about envy maybe it’s my Aquarius sun but I’m comfortable with being an outsider and embrace my uniqueness

[@brendanrumph1502]

Only 1/2 way in, and you have described my experience as a 4 with great insight. My wife in the early days of our relationship called me "rubber-bando-man" because of my (unhealthy) patterns. But in listening to you describe it, i see how it fed into previous relationships as well. Well done. J:. C:. V:.

[@gospelforenneagram]

Well said!

[@angelicamartinezr.8965]

It's an amazing video. Well explained, I've never felt so identified. Thanks.

[@gospelforenneagram]

You're very welcome!

[@Jazzonyt]

My view on romance, as a 4, tends to look somewhat like this: i fall in love very easily. i do have a certain physical type, pretty much the way my first boyfriend now ex looks like. whenever i see someone looking similar to that i am immidiately head over heals and try to win them over. i actually have an easy time stepping into the pursuer role in the beginning. that is my tactic to get them interested in me. i try to figure out how they work, what makes them special. i pay very close attention to their personal details. then when i hear things that gross me out or that i simply dislike i try to ignore them, but they stay in the back of my mind and influence the "vibe" that i am getting from the person. i feel neglected and unloved very easily. this especially happens when someone is unreliable or doesn't show the same emotional intensity that i do. i have a tendency then to withdraw and pity myself. i lose hope very easily and it reminds me of how i am simply not supposed to be in a relationship. i've developed a certain commitment phobia. i do not believe i could deal with the up's and down's without being able to break things off right away. i don't commit to anyone bc i want to both safe other ppl from my moodiness and myself from my own moodiness. my mind changes all the time, so ppl shouldn't expect reliability from me.

[@FilmsByDan]

You're very self aware. Are you using this to change how you do relationships?

[@abdulmateenmaher6956]

I deeply resonate to all the description here. Amazing how accurate it is. Do you think we can get along with type 8?

[@gospelforenneagram]

Yes, I keep running across many Type 4+8 marriages!

[@karamarziali392]

I'm a 4 in a new relationship and feeling soooo vulnerable. I see all my "four-isms" coming out. LOL! Thank God I'm a work in progress.

[@Fatmaahmed-qs9nl]

As infj t 4w5 I think U describe me very well

[@desidezmusic9239]

This is good. Will you be tackling 8's?

[@gospelforenneagram]

Of course, in just a few weeks!

[@noturbo]

i scare people away