Designers say the new game explores the endless paperwork, routine patrolling a modern day soldier endures in photorealistic detail.
Пікірлер: 7 300
@xmg_redux4 жыл бұрын
I heard if u get prestige master in the game u get something called PTSD where u are able to rewatch epic montages of your gameplay at anytime
@onkelpappkov26664 жыл бұрын
This is grim and I love you.
@monkie70974 жыл бұрын
That's fucking horrible 😂
@alexmohr10724 жыл бұрын
10/10 comment
@siyacer4 жыл бұрын
I do it daily
@a.c.75734 жыл бұрын
Sounds fun
@Sousabird10 жыл бұрын
The play time is slightly less than 2 years. Definitely worth the price.
@kingquality14846 жыл бұрын
Sousabird by now you could've finished the whole game twice!
@seanstevenson27386 жыл бұрын
I got the lying recruiter dlc, where you’re tricked into a 6 year contract being told you’ll be special forces, but end up guarding the gate and checking ids for 6 years. Play time is 6 years exactly, ending when you get your dd214
@alasterkenway97736 жыл бұрын
Sean Stevenson That DLC was such a bullshit man, I've been there.
@indeed72895 жыл бұрын
the Australia DLC is 4 years with another 4 years when you realise you have no transferable skills into Civilian life but i heard if you get a high enough score you can finish the game after your 6th year if your knees explodes and you get a slipped disc
@buckplug24235 жыл бұрын
@@seanstevenson2738 still better than getting the Lying Recruiter DLC AND the Shitty Squid MOS DLC where you spend 6 years cleaning up the ship and arguing with pinoys.
@lieutenantmcbubbles74035 жыл бұрын
I personally like the mission where you sit through a 11 hour flight home
@brandonknight4315 жыл бұрын
Then there is the dlc where you have to battle PTSD and drug abuse
@lol-un6nl5 жыл бұрын
@@brandonknight431 PTSD from what
@brodik62075 жыл бұрын
@@lol-un6nl Repairing trucks
@lol-un6nl5 жыл бұрын
@@brodik6207 the loud clangs of dropping tools and bumping your head constantly really gets to you after service man
@snoopysnoopy88435 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your service to Israel- I mean America
@bigbadword2 жыл бұрын
"Skills: Impressions of superiors." Someone in the military definitely helped write this.
@computershutoff13666 Жыл бұрын
I usually fart myself asleep
@khu649 Жыл бұрын
Have you sharted yourself asleep?
@computershutoff13666 Жыл бұрын
@@khu649 yes
@nicholasm7822 Жыл бұрын
@@computershutoff13666 have you ever, at like 10:30am, when you are completely awake and lucid, sharted so hard the force of the shockwave made you and your companions lose consciousness, sort of like how test pilots lose consciousness when they go over 5 Gs?
@cuboidbirdsgaming11007 ай бұрын
@@nicholasm7822real life sleep spell
@GoldenSpike3005 жыл бұрын
I hear they're going to release a veteran DLC which is pretty much a homeless simulator
@manydman5 жыл бұрын
*Cutscene* First your wife cheats on you, you find out and fight the guy she's fucking. You fight him and she gets upset. Then you get told you will never get in the house again and the mission starts.
@HomemadeFlick5 жыл бұрын
Maddy Grand oddly specific
@juanmanuelpenaloza92645 жыл бұрын
You even get to train pigeons to shit on people.
@ImAfemaleNoob25 жыл бұрын
The nightmare mini game is pretty lame
@LuizAlexPhoenix4 жыл бұрын
I think they stole Postal 2's gameplay with the hidden Taliban base in your backyard. Plus, just like in that game, if you put on a police uniform you get to kill people without worrying.
@Tinfoil_Hardhat4 жыл бұрын
This game was amazing. I can't wait for the military divorce DLC.
@zachprouty85954 жыл бұрын
And the. Working fast food because your wife took your very little money
@jacob.da.snakob4 жыл бұрын
bruh too accurate
@fuwafuwa22994 жыл бұрын
Objective: Secure custody of your child
@darnit19444 жыл бұрын
With character upgrade: PTSD flashback. +50% emotion -100% focus -100% sanity +500% damage
@zaptowee66254 жыл бұрын
That actually happens to people in the army?
@Mikeological3 жыл бұрын
For the speedrunners out there, if you clip into the corner of the mess hall just right you can skip ahead and you only have to wait 3 hours for some truck to arrive instead of 4
@channelname92563 жыл бұрын
Yeah, you can actually entirely skip that sequence if you press spacebar when exiting the helicopter at the start of the game
@lordsiomai2 жыл бұрын
woah really? imma try this now! is this a bug or a glitch of some sort?
@drwhite72852 жыл бұрын
Rare comment
@miloradowicz2 жыл бұрын
I think they fixed that. Now if you try to abuse the glitch, sergeant's gonna bite your head off.
@Callmeliam2 жыл бұрын
@@miloradowicz you need to downpatch the game and it still works, though a new skip we found which lets you not repair the trucks only works on the latest version and is faster
@plexyglass4292 жыл бұрын
The fact they made it look like a convincing 360 game with it's graphics, HUD and animations is so cool, a shame they don't do this anymore
@brysonkuervers2570 Жыл бұрын
It’s gameplay ripped from Modern Warfare 2, they just layered certain elements on top
@FutaCatto2 Жыл бұрын
@@brysonkuervers2570 I believe this cut of the game was to convince normies that there wasn't any controversy scenes like "No Russian". Just like MW 2019 where the game came back to its roots but due to explicit scenes, we get a marketing scheme that is MW2 2022.
@matthewjones39 Жыл бұрын
@@FutaCatto2What?
@LordVader109410 ай бұрын
@@brysonkuervers2570The dudes sitting around aren't from MW2 afaik
@DylanReid-vw2qv9 ай бұрын
@@LordVader1094 They are. These are all scenes of different areas of the first mission in MW2.
@BRAVOUNIFORM14 жыл бұрын
My dad Is in the Navy and I showed him this and he laughed his ass off. He said this shit is so true to life
@cmdell46933 жыл бұрын
Respect to your dad :)
@BRAVOUNIFORM13 жыл бұрын
@@cmdell4693 thank you
@hambone00003 жыл бұрын
It's a little too accurate. The onion knows.
@snarfymcsnarfface23233 жыл бұрын
@@hambone0000 the onion knows all. You cannot escape the onion and it’s layers
@kyuubitao3 жыл бұрын
It really is. Army says hi.
@srbrant53916 жыл бұрын
My favorite part was the quick-time event where you struggle to remember the Arabic word for "storm drain."
@blackburn11795 жыл бұрын
How do you play these missions ??
@CODMASTA5 жыл бұрын
im an arab and i don't know the word for that XD, i just say a "water stream" lol
@CODMASTA5 жыл бұрын
@Biggus Dickus Maximus I of the Seven Megatheroids isn't "majari" sewers? its not a storm drain or is it?...now you're making me doubt my own language lol
@SteveOnlin5 жыл бұрын
doar maybe
@davidevans85275 жыл бұрын
I feel like there’s a story behind that comment lol
@iidkwhatnameuse4 жыл бұрын
I personally like the mission where you order screws because you need 2 of them but they only supply screws in packs of 1,000. I especially enjoy the part where we throw the other 998 screws into a dumpster.
@arandomzoomer48374 жыл бұрын
And then best of all, you find out you actually needed 1 extra screw from the pile and so have to drive 20 miles back and then dumpster dive around the city to find them again.
@nethandelwampa1164 жыл бұрын
I’ve done some shit like this. My last deployment I was RPPO and my boss wanted to buy a tv for his office. We ordered it, it came in and he decided he didn’t want something that big in his office so it sat in our storage space for months until I was ordered to throw it away. If I wasn’t in Africa I would have taken it home or mailed it.
@Angry-Lynx4 жыл бұрын
@@nethandelwampa116 thats fucked up bro ;
@ericosborne41224 жыл бұрын
@@nethandelwampa116 Sounds like an Officer
@knightsurda4 жыл бұрын
I just got a copy from Gamestop, my favorite mission was the one where you go on patrol and have to sit in the Humvee for several hours while nothing goes on. Then when you return to base you have to do paperwork about how nothing happened. Later that night you have to decide if you are going to urinate in the toilet or out in the desert to prove you can piss into the wind and not get wet.
@Harry_JJ2 жыл бұрын
After 7 years of being out, I recently considered reenlisting This was all the motivation I needed to stay a civilian…
@helghastslayah13672 жыл бұрын
NOW LISTEN HERE TROOP. ACTIVE DUTY TAKE ALL THE WEAPONS BUT DON WORRY. I HADDA DIG UP ANDREW JACKSONS GRAVE BUT I FOUNDYA A GODDAM RIFLE. NOW GET ON THAT BUS, CUZ YO ASS GOING TA NAM. THATS RIGHT, WE GOIN BACK. OORAAAAAA-
@NoxysPlace Жыл бұрын
what the fuck why would you ever reenlist, thank god you watched this
@Traveler_202 Жыл бұрын
@@NoxysPlace1 hour ago??? Weird
@I_Dislike_YouTube_Handles Жыл бұрын
@@Traveler_2028 hours ago??? Weird
@premiumquinn Жыл бұрын
@@I_Dislike_KZbin_Handles 11 hours ago??? Weird
@roadfleam6 жыл бұрын
this came out when i was like 11 and i couldn't understand this was satire so i told my friends at school about this and then was really confused when the actually modern warfare 3 came out because it was nothing like this
@spyrosdeloglou89706 жыл бұрын
Priceless!
@hattrickster336 жыл бұрын
That just shows you how easy it is to make fake news. It doesn't even have to be very realistic. People will believe it if it looks kinda legit.
@30yearoldmanthatgetsbullie446 жыл бұрын
[OCB] yeah fuckin sheaple god damnit its like they refuse to learn about the cloud people, their putting fetus parts in our food people!
@dumbestsphinx13556 жыл бұрын
Frisp eh when I was like 10 I saw something about Justin Bieber really being a 52 year old man and thought it was real lol
@atcatcatc6 жыл бұрын
@@dumbestsphinx1355 me too man
@MarkArandjus5 жыл бұрын
I gotta say, that Shakira argument is pretty solid.
@2muchwit5 жыл бұрын
Im still with Jessica Biel on this one
@max47505 жыл бұрын
2muchwhit1 you’re saying you wouldn’t have sex wit shakira if she was right there?
@weltscherz51725 жыл бұрын
@@max4750 Not if Jessica Biel was right there.
@DuncanUdaho675 жыл бұрын
I agree with his point about Shakira, but Jessica Biel’s ass is just too good to pass up.
@MarkArandjus5 жыл бұрын
@@DuncanUdaho67 But pray tell who is better at moving that ass, hmm??
@thech33f395 жыл бұрын
So much effort put into a shitpost, gotta love the onion.
@LuisSierra424 жыл бұрын
There's a lot of dedication in these videos
@dhgmrz174 жыл бұрын
It's sad that more effort and professionalism was put into a parody news broadcast than most real new broadcasts.
@giornoisclutchking56324 жыл бұрын
ohhh i forgot this was the 🧅
@danielskrskr4 жыл бұрын
It's not a shitpost. It's a news parody
@thech33f394 жыл бұрын
@@danielskrskr ok brainlet
@redtsun67 Жыл бұрын
I remember playing this when I was still a dumb teenager and a lot of things went over my head. During the ending mission where you return home from your deployment and you greet your wife and son, I didn't understand why my son was black even though I chose the white character. Now that I'm an adult I can really appreciate the effort they put into realism.
@silverwolfe3636 Жыл бұрын
@@cat-le1hf Yeah, that was a bitch of a QTE sequence. I kept pressing "belt" instead of "backhand." Took me like eight tries to get it right. Fun little UCMJ side quest after completing it tho.
@xtdycxtfuv9353 Жыл бұрын
Brutal
@cm3004 Жыл бұрын
It's because your wife is black, noob.
@deloreandmc88 Жыл бұрын
@@cat-le1hf Ever played the more than 50% of crimes and food stamps DLC?
@jelliebee_e Жыл бұрын
@@deloreandmc88 Nah but I played the over 50% of mass shootings DLC, that shit was crazy
@MrLigersPride3 жыл бұрын
Features include: * Random conversation with a DoD contractor where you realize they make 100k for "security" . * Random mission to guard what appears to be flowers but you realize it's Opium.
@paddington16703 жыл бұрын
gotta keep that States' sanctioned drug trade alive and well.
@MrLigersPride3 жыл бұрын
Gotta have a reason why doctors in the States can prescribe oxy for minor pain and get they're patients hooked on it.
@breadmakesyoufat24033 жыл бұрын
*be pat tillman and suffer a friendly fire incident
@dr.schlopp40893 жыл бұрын
As a recovering opioid addict, please forgive me if this is a ridiculous question, but have you ever heard of incidents where soldiers would milk the poppies/dry the pods and make tea/smoke the raw opium resin/try to get high on the fields they're guarding? Personally I'm an undisciplined lazy asshole and don't have training pounded into my skull, so I feel like I'd have a _REALLY_ hard time working next to what could be the potential to your own safe/limitless supply of personal dope (assuming you never got caught or those that _did_ know didn't report you)? I'd definitely be thinking about it...
@hasanalharaz74542 жыл бұрын
@@dr.schlopp4089 this doesn’t seem like a good thing to be thinking about as a recovering addict….
@trenchgaming21665 жыл бұрын
"Not if Shakira was sitting right there" now that is one of the most truthful and accurate things about the mid 2000's
@ardentfire39564 жыл бұрын
I like your post, but I love that username.
@stormjet8144 жыл бұрын
For Krieg!
@kartoffelschloss64254 жыл бұрын
Its also an accurate representation of the army. We are always arguing over which celebrity we would rather fuck.
@Frontline_view_kaiser4 жыл бұрын
Hips don't lie, especially not hers
@warbossbonesmasha37514 жыл бұрын
StormJet Wutz a “kreeg”
@Turtletanks6 жыл бұрын
Surprisingly the onion has more of a clue about video games than the actual media
@spyrosdeloglou89706 жыл бұрын
Truer words have never been spoken my friend! Ok, maybe they have, but you get the point.
@jjtomecek16236 жыл бұрын
Guess they must all be nerds at heart. Judging by their satirical nature, I wouldn't doubt it. I'm more surprised about how the called an M249 by it's name, got the weight closish, and nailed the "fire only with explicit orders." It's kind of depressing that The Onion does more research than most real news outlets...
@sagichnichtsowiesonicht73266 жыл бұрын
"news outlets" you mean infortainment channels.
@tobiaschaparro23726 жыл бұрын
Yeah but its not surprising. The onion its got a pretty good clue on most stuff. But its mainly because the media aint got a clue about anything.
@ZaccoOfficial6 жыл бұрын
so true
@rjhick1 Жыл бұрын
"You have to drive this supply truck from this village to some other village and when you get there they say that the order was messed up so you have to drive back." This is absolutely true lmao 😂😂
@abcdef-mz7gf4 ай бұрын
Squad gameplay
@manender102029 күн бұрын
@@abcdef-mz7gfain't called military simulator for nothing is it
@srbrant53915 жыл бұрын
“You have to face a college student who keeps asking you if it was anything like _Black Hawk Down.”_
@rykehuss34354 жыл бұрын
Yeah I was in the Delta Force brah
@asdfgh99854 жыл бұрын
@@rykehuss3435 Delta Force is for noobs. I was in Echo Force. That's one letter better than Delta force.
@rykehuss34354 жыл бұрын
Sierra12 what the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch
@Stinger9134 жыл бұрын
Sierra12 I was in CHARLIE force
@rykehuss34354 жыл бұрын
Black Hawk Down is a realistic depiction of what to expect if you enlist in the military
@volundrfrey8963 жыл бұрын
I love how the onion made this as satire, but if this was actually released it would get a cult following immediately... just look at tank mechanic simulator.
@Waitwhat4693 жыл бұрын
Honestly the playing a private skating duties seems like a great sequel to the bully franchise.
@youruncle23 жыл бұрын
Look up Terragov marine corps Its EXACTLY this
@BillyBob-qu1fs3 жыл бұрын
"My Summer Car" is a good example. Or "Forktruck Simulator".
@youruncle23 жыл бұрын
@@BillyBob-qu1fs one of my favs right there MSC is painful but fun
@BillyBob-qu1fs3 жыл бұрын
@@youruncle2 Although it's glitchy af, or used to be anyway, as a programmer and shade tree mechanic I admire the detail and effort put into that game. Autism projects are the best projects imo.
@litfurher42064 жыл бұрын
I really love the part where your commander accidentaly mistakes a school bus for a military vehicle, so you now get to play a bonus mission situated in the Hague.
@rockCity7774 жыл бұрын
Haha, that's so funny. US troops can't be tried in the Hague, because the US doesn't aknowledge the supremacy of international law on their soldiers. Soooo funnyyy..... Hahaha.
@11Survivor4 жыл бұрын
@@rockCity777 It's not a warcrime if we have nukes. A lot of nukes.
@tristanbeal2614 жыл бұрын
@@litfurher4206 how is it a good thing that us soldiers are unaccountable?
@vacciniumaugustifolium14204 жыл бұрын
@@tristanbeal261 Its ( I hope ) a joke
@AlamoOriginal4 жыл бұрын
Lmfao haha
@OpticalGrafix2 жыл бұрын
I saw this video when it first came out, then I joined the Army..... I found out how true this video really is. I mean down to the avoiding mess hall details.... like wow so realistic 10/10 would not join the Army again.
@brysonkuervers2570 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been thinking about it, is it really that bad? 😂
@OpticalGrafix Жыл бұрын
@Bryson Kuervers Honestly, it just depends on the kind of person you are. Some people Excell some people don't. It is worth a shot though, I learned a lot from the Army. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm drunk AF haha
@Redbird-dh7mu Жыл бұрын
My uncle always described the military as, “the best worst option anyone has”, as in, he is thankful for what the military taught him and he made some very close friends. However, he would rather, “suck a fat, salty dick”, than re-enlist.
@jackstone217610 ай бұрын
The stories of incompetence and abuse from higher ups made me reconsider joining.
@EmperorDxD9 ай бұрын
@@brysonkuervers2570 I was in active Combat so to behonest what he talking about is actually the best part of it it just get boring and tedious still better then watching you friends and colleagues get gunned down
@canadianred69374 жыл бұрын
This could legit be a popular game for purely killing time, only thing is the game would need one hell of a dialogue queue
@memesfromdeepspace10753 жыл бұрын
Developer:" ok boys we go to Afganistan US military base to take sample for next our game " Employee:" who?" Developer :" all of US"
@K-----3 жыл бұрын
Honestly, BFBC captured this in their dialogues and a lot of people loved it. People also play Arma so I see no reason why this couldn't be a big hit.
@mautun38303 жыл бұрын
Just make a military themed chat room in vr
@ThatOneSniper3 жыл бұрын
@@mautun3830 You know, that would actually be kinda fun. Throw in the occasional combat mission or whatever, and you have a solid idea.
@jamesjimotheius82753 жыл бұрын
it's called GMOD military RP it actually exists.
@youtert8 жыл бұрын
They've just released a naval edition of the game. Missions include peeling potatoes, lubricating machinery and repainting bulkheads. For the final boss battle you must face a disciplinary board on sexual-harassment charges following an unfortunate teabagging incident.
@himikotoga17338 жыл бұрын
lmao! goddamn that was good
@PFCelis27 жыл бұрын
youtert news of a DLC where you get deployed and clean up after marines during your whole 12 month deployment.
@riverfoster74046 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for the submarine dlc, I hear there's a level where you get caught drinking at sub school and have to stand at attention for your whole work day for a week while a warrant officer occasionally walks over and yells unintelligibly at you
@buckplug24235 жыл бұрын
hey guys, how do I skip the SHARP custcene? it happens way too often, so i remember it fully yet I can't seem to be able to go past it.
@SnailSandwich5 жыл бұрын
@@buckplug2423 I have the same problem with suicide prevention. I want my money back.
@djsosonut3 жыл бұрын
The mission where you try not to get caught dozing off during mandatory PowerPoint briefings was the most intense.
@janneskoneczny49892 жыл бұрын
They put that in Americas Army. Fucking medic exam.
@Nonebit Жыл бұрын
@@janneskoneczny4989 SF training as well
@Realsaltyveteran Жыл бұрын
@@janneskoneczny4989warrior spirit hoah?
@Courier_6 Жыл бұрын
Anyone kid struggling to pay attention has ADD. Any kid having more success at it and remaining still is a well trained kid with ADD.
@TheMessiahOfThe99Percent Жыл бұрын
@@Courier_6I replaced my ADD with PTSD now I don't even sleep anymore 💪
@robertpatter55093 жыл бұрын
When I was in the Army from 2005-2010 I did get people asking how many people I killed. I was also in Sadr City Iraq. That mortar attack was scary. Truly terrifying. I was on the toilet at the moment. But not for long. I was an infantryman after all with an M249 and of course folks wanted to know . I told those asking me how many I killed in combat. They didn't seem to even care that much. They just wanted a number. No mention as to details, why, any consequences from doing so, where this was, or what happened exactly or how other people saw me. None. They just wanted a number. Which I found to be odd. Because my answer had many other factors attached to it. In fact, its as if the number I gave was on an invisible list in their mind and I was being compared to movie stars. Very odd. If you are going to ask me a dark question like " How many people did you kill?" You need to hear the whole story and it's context. Not just the number. You need to know the context and all its variables. Which takes time to tell all that. This way you can understand some things. Then asking me how many I killed may not be a question many will ask . Because it is descriptive.
@BimmerWon2 жыл бұрын
My dad was a paratrooper and was in the invasion of Panama and in Iraq. Kids are curious so one time I asked how many people he killed and he just said he doesn’t know. He said he just shot at people who were shooting at him.
@ashtar38762 жыл бұрын
@Michael Lochlann bruh how does he not notice what kind of fucked up question that is
@lotrlmao16482 жыл бұрын
Whats your story in Iraq ? How it went leading up to firefight and few deads
@carterskindle70862 жыл бұрын
Yeah, some people are stupid and think that real military service is like videogames. In the military you don't know how many people you've killed, unless it you're in CQB then there's no way to confirm how many you've taken out. Many engagements are hundreds of meters away and you're really just lobbing bullets at each other.
@Bessux2 жыл бұрын
Just answer the question and say the fucking number you loser.
@Codemann0104 жыл бұрын
Honestly despite the Onion being satire, with the amount of effort they put into small details that otherwise most people don't notice is amazing to me considering that the mass media does a terrible job of putting in extra work to the full story. CNN and Fox News would have called the M249 an AK-15 weighing 25 pounds or something.
@hyperlanceitex61494 жыл бұрын
CNN yes, Fox News maybe...
@fobbitoperator36204 жыл бұрын
These people actually take pride in what they do. MSM just vomits last year's Hamburger Helper & calls it news...
@Clay36134 жыл бұрын
You had to make it political?
@salacommander26744 жыл бұрын
What's political about shitting on the MSM?
@davidbritt50204 жыл бұрын
To be fair, they have a lot more time to make these, you can't wait a week to polish a prerecorded segment when you're reporting on tonight's news
@magmavision20004 жыл бұрын
The "WW1 U.S. Soldier" game that came out last week is super realistic. For the first couple of years you sit around in a cabin on the border of Mexico and ride around on ships, then you get sent to France and cry yourself to sleep after hearing your friends slowly die from trench-foot. 9/10 not enough shell shock.
@arandomzoomer48374 жыл бұрын
Führer des Benutzers That’s just the price you have to pay for immersive gameplay.
@shadysam71614 жыл бұрын
@@arandomzoomer4837 I got shot in the leg while playing it, and the hospital ended up being very low-quality, and they ended up amputating half of my leg, now I'm suffering from -7 speed debuffs.
@arandomzoomer48374 жыл бұрын
Shady Sam Damn that sucks.
@Zeuts854 жыл бұрын
I really liked the part where you have to try to fall asleep. It's super challenging due to the dysentery/starvation-induced hunger cramps, the corpse stench, and the rats nibbling at your face when you start to doze off. I almost had it, but then a shell landed in my trench and I had to start over. Way better than Dark Souls.
@heliveruscalion91244 жыл бұрын
"7/10 Too much mud" -IGN
@drakep.58575 жыл бұрын
When you get shot you spend 6 months in a clinic while listening to a soldier with PTSD crying and screaming in the other room.
@whiskey4194 жыл бұрын
Drake P. Nice
@slumpmanwun4 жыл бұрын
Drake P. Nice
@sspark26864 жыл бұрын
Drake P. Nice
@heselofhephidiyiai59854 жыл бұрын
Drake P. Nice
@young.angry.devildawg4 жыл бұрын
Drake P. Nice
@zach11241 Жыл бұрын
I love the feature where you can select to see a doctor if you’re injured but you need to wait several months for authorization, spend a few days in a hospital, and then be told your injuries weren’t service related. 10/10 would step on a land mind for Uncle Sam again!
@TofuTeo10 ай бұрын
The army takes such poor care of soldiers... and what’s worse, they make big promises and give you a false sense of security that they will take care of you (making you less hesitant to risk your health/welfare etc. because you think it’s gonna be covered by the army). And they end up abandoning you in your time of need.
@sweetypussАй бұрын
@@TofuTeo then they wonder why recruitment rates have taken such a drastic downturn
@darnit19445 жыл бұрын
They forgot to add cheating wife feature. 0/10
@ilikefoodcrazy5 жыл бұрын
That's the dlc you noob
@eraldotsouni55 жыл бұрын
PROJARED
@FuqUYouTube5 жыл бұрын
@@ilikefoodcrazy I thought that unlocked after you beat the game on veteran mode...:(
@cosmicaverage39865 жыл бұрын
Jodyed
@michaelpalacio55 жыл бұрын
Fucking Jodie’s in the game now!
@bomb5hock3 жыл бұрын
Didn't realise it was a joke till they said Congress was trying to save money.
@mweston253 жыл бұрын
Most underrated comment of the month. Well done sir.
@kobenkoben72613 жыл бұрын
I only realised this was a joke after 2 years Lmao
@jmoom13 жыл бұрын
Hold at 666
@mgspatheticchannel14963 жыл бұрын
But Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 came out in 2011 and it's nothing like that.
@mgspatheticchannel14963 жыл бұрын
Oh now I get it
@zsu-23-4kirov65 жыл бұрын
“A 17 pound wii remote designed to look like a M249-“ SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
@classifiedad15 жыл бұрын
ZSU-23-4 Kirov But you have to carry it around all the time and you can’t fire it unless explicitly ordered to.
@phantomdude99014 жыл бұрын
@@classifiedad1 That sums up all 4 years..
@dhgmrz174 жыл бұрын
@@classifiedad1 That's even better, why go outside to join the miltary when you can join the military in the comfort of your own home. I'm just waiting for the enemy fire peripheral where it shoots real bullets at you when your character is under fire, that way you can also experience realistic PTSD.
@classifiedad14 жыл бұрын
@@dhgmrz17 That comes with the VR remaster.
@funkmonkeyfun4 жыл бұрын
Hey I'm a pro at that controller !
@sleeves26042 жыл бұрын
Love how there are actually simulation games exclusively for these kinds of things now. Cleaning sims, car mechanic sims, terraforming sims, etc.
@Demiglitch Жыл бұрын
It always existed at the time, now it's just more popular in the English market. Before it was mostly Germany.
@totesfleisch2584 жыл бұрын
As former military, this is surprisingly close to actual service.
@Pedro-ho2xj3 жыл бұрын
Was it like Black Hawk Down
@Fisher22913 жыл бұрын
How many people did you kill?
@XavierFoley3 жыл бұрын
How hot was it?
@acemenzel38763 жыл бұрын
Was ist like American Sniper?
@Spirit4513 жыл бұрын
Shakira or Jessica Biel?
@Patrick.Weightman4 жыл бұрын
"A 17 pound Wii remote shaped like an M249 machine gun that you must carry at all time but cannot fire without explicit orders" *LMAO*
@Immadeus4 жыл бұрын
Is it compatible with the Wii Wheel?
@alecsanderfuentes39134 жыл бұрын
I died when he said 17lbs haga
@Jjshort4 жыл бұрын
the quiet kids school project
@marcosvega35194 жыл бұрын
Cannot fire without explicit orders is spot on 🤣
@99xrai4 жыл бұрын
Remember No russian
@dogtato3 жыл бұрын
This game would actually sell really well these days, assuming the humvee repair was sufficiently detailed
@BillyBob-qu1fs3 жыл бұрын
My Summer Car: Deployment Edition
@SadChimchar2 жыл бұрын
Never underestimate the capacity of a gamer to not have a life.
@brysonkuervers2570 Жыл бұрын
@@BillyBob-qu1fs Lmfaoooo 😂
@leonodonoghueburke4276 Жыл бұрын
@Robert Hook We know you would
@valleypanda Жыл бұрын
Death Stranding
@osairqable3 жыл бұрын
I remember doing a "mission" in Iraq where we were ready to roll out and had to wait for 12 hours in the rain next to our vehicles near the gate waiting for medevac to turn green. It didn't and we headed back to our tents
@sheldonjplanktonn2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like someone didn't complete one of their objectives, thus halting your own campaign. Tis the perils of co-op
@xlr84422 жыл бұрын
Recently, in Kuwait, went to the army range to fire. We waited 3 hours to fire because medvac wouldn't go green for visibility, despite us bringing our own ambulance and being right down the road from Buehring.
@Cheesus-Sliced10 жыл бұрын
I really wish they did make 17 pound controllers shaped like guns. Talk about getting fit while you play
@LushForests7 жыл бұрын
Its weighs over 20lbs loaded though
@itswhatever84716 жыл бұрын
Nintendo did that... But it's for mw1
@maxdurk46245 жыл бұрын
Excuse Me No they didnt lol The fact that you got 8 thumbs up scares me
@smittywerbenjaegermanjense73765 жыл бұрын
@@LushForests No, it doesn't. The M249 is 17 pounds loaded. The 240B has a loaded weight in excess of 20 pounds.
@Gottrolledbythebest4855 жыл бұрын
Smitty Werben Jaeger man Jensen you guys know abosolutly nothing about guns
@NorthernWindNut7 жыл бұрын
Need some help.. I'm stuck at the part where you're supposed to talk to some locals and ask where they saw some truck going but when you get there nobody they sent speaks Arabic so we're stuck awkwardly standing around...
@jesseward41156 жыл бұрын
Try pressing X as fast as you can.
@-.._.-_...-_.._-..__..._.-.-.-6 жыл бұрын
This is a late reply, but in case anyone else is stuck and happens to be reading this, here is what you do: You don't need to talk to anyone. Just walk into random houses and search through their things. After your squad searches 25 houses, the mission is complete and you can head back to base. Speed matters. To recieve full credit, you need to get back to base before chow starts. Choose houses with friendly residents, to avoid confrontation. If a door is locked, don't wait for someone to unlock it. Just break it down. If a dog runs towards you, shoot it. If anyone appears upset or agitated, detain them. Don't worry about breaking anything or leaving a mess. It doesn't matter. (Spoiler: There is no information on the truck to be found, so don't bother searching more than 25 houses.) Just ransack 25 houses, then head back to base as quickly as possible. There are two achievement that can be obtained on this mission. One is for getting a picture of yourself wearing ladies undergarments on your head. The other is for stealing food from a home and eating it in front of the family. There is also, of course, the achievement for collecting 1000 war trophies, so don't forget to do that. I hope this helps!
@MPBADASS906 жыл бұрын
David S. Amazing 😂😂😂.
@theirishironheart65346 жыл бұрын
NorthernWindNut You gotta call HQ and have them send an interpreter but they have to make sure he brings a mask so that he won't be identified. I'm actually stuck at the level where you're tasked with picking up all the cigarette butts around the CP. 😩
@bionictwin47366 жыл бұрын
I'm stuck at the level where you have to eat your breakfast because I keep dropping the plate on accident
@joncoda3655 жыл бұрын
I am an Iraq War Veteran (and an active-duty soldier)... I was actually in Iraq when this video was published. This is extremely accurate. I'm sure a veteran wrote this.
@ShidaiTaino5 жыл бұрын
Jon Coda and a commie smh
@joncoda3655 жыл бұрын
476 Anno Domini Yeap, I’m a veteran, and a commie. If you believe in, from each according to his abilities and to each according to their needs, the US military is about the closet you can get to that.
@bobobsen5 жыл бұрын
@@joncoda365 good point
@joncoda3655 жыл бұрын
Wanax well damn then I’ve been doing it all wrong. I suppose you’re talking about the officers? Lol.
@joncoda3655 жыл бұрын
Wanax I’m talking about pay and benefits. If I’m sick, I get treatment, no charge. If o get married, and have kids, I get a house or a housing allowance. Want to go to school, they pay for it. If you have be exploited, at least get some benefits. All that being said... if I can figure out a way to get out without significantly impacting the lifestyle of my family, this will definitely be my last contract.
@HailSatanLLC3 жыл бұрын
Modern Warfare: 99% Boredom 1% Sheer Terror Now that's a video game experience.
@tylerwilliams33 Жыл бұрын
Arma.
@unknownuser6757 Жыл бұрын
100% terror if you’re in Ukraine
@puppergump4117 Жыл бұрын
@@tylerwilliams33 I'm still stuck where the game plops you into a minefield and you get lost
@icantollie Жыл бұрын
You forgot the 0% understanding from fellow citizens and the 100% indifference from the VA
@billyb47909 ай бұрын
I know I shouldn’t laugh when it says “you died game over” but to me that was the most realistic part. Games today are such BS where you get hit dozens of times and don’t die. All injuries repaired by a magic drink. I often wondered why veterans didn’t get more turned off by this.
@patrickwalsh515311 жыл бұрын
Holy crap, that is realistic. Maybe the patch will include pulling security for hours while you wait for EOD to show up and disarm a bomb that almost killed you. I wonder who their military advisor is.
@timmysantana32635 жыл бұрын
Bonus mission: Find the blue falcon that ransacked through all the MREs
@chadtangney8315 жыл бұрын
@@timmysantana3263 this is fake right
@samallison26234 жыл бұрын
As I'm currently Sitting in Humvee in desert outside of El paso... I can vouch for the games realism. Only 5 more hours of watching sand to go
@johnfish36724 жыл бұрын
Watching sand DLC is unfortunately unavailable in my (Czech) localization of the game unless you somehow manage to get deployed through the international matchmaking servers. All I ever got was the watching trees in rain default gameplay. Fortunately I'm going to finish the game on monday after 3 years of gameplay and go study physics. Best of luck to you on your sand watching quest. And make sure to glass any sand that should conduct itself in an unseemly manner.
@danehenderson4223 жыл бұрын
I'm out here too, bro
@Shuufy3 жыл бұрын
God bless 1AD.......i hate it here
@firefox59263 жыл бұрын
WAIT ... do you see that ... i swear that sand moved...
@1500Chevy3 жыл бұрын
@@johnfish3672 Don’t Tread On Me. 1775.
@pvtwade70574 жыл бұрын
"single player campaign will clock in at record 17,250 hours" Speed runners: 3 minutes, take it or leave it
@oliversmith97374 жыл бұрын
the speedrunners take the loose screw in your bunk in the first mission and backhop against it for precisely 17 frames, then do a 180 crouch jump and build up speed in the other direction for 17 frames. the horizontal speed is cancelled but the vertical speed exponentially increases, until you go past mach 1, causing the game to assume you are in the jet mission. because that mission ends at your bunk, you instantly complete it and trigger the attack on the base in your sleep. after the attack is triggered, clipping in the right spot will coc you to the terrorist base instead of your own, skipping that mission. after that, you are sent home and awarded a medal of honor, which, as we all know, has the shortest epilogue in which you can't live with yourself and commit suicide. the current record sits at 2 minutes, 47 seconds for any%
@zestobou58203 жыл бұрын
its 20 actually
@coreyeverett55003 жыл бұрын
No fair! That speed run was with the "Bone Spurs" skip!
@ThunderSkull2143 жыл бұрын
the secret is to go AWOL
@darknessblades3 жыл бұрын
Speedrunner, MW3. Speedrunner, i just found the Red Pill. now i can Shoot people outside of the Video game. Proceeds to walk to his own house, takes the Controller, and plays the game with his own character as he Continues to break the 4th wall after 4th wall. Having his own private Army Stationed at his own house
@maximushermanite Жыл бұрын
“You have to face down a college student, who keeps asking you if it was like Black Hawk Down.” That had me crying on the floor🤣
@billyb47909 ай бұрын
Make sure to tell him it was or you won’t be redeployed. But he has to invite you to a pub crawl first and then you have casual unsatisfying sex with a girl who thought it would be exciting to bang a real war hero.
@THORHAWK174 жыл бұрын
Wow after so many years I’ve finally found it. This video jebaited be 9 years ago when I was a kid. I remember being hyped for the realistic cod game and the only thing I remembered was when the one lady was talking about how she got killed when staring out in the open and had to start over. I remembered that but it got distorted in my mind over time ( I remembered her as being very excited and impressed about it for some reason). The rest of this video never stuck in my mind, so weird. For years every now and then that memory would pop in my head about the realistic cod game scene where the lady died in the open but I never recalled it happening when I played all of the COD MW games. It bothered me for years and now I know I was trolled by the onion when I was child. It feels unreal, that now I know that memory I had wasn’t just a dream and it really happened, I can’t believe it.
@GuardianTam4 жыл бұрын
To be fair if you play multiplayer and just stare at nothing you're definitely gonna get shot.
@mikethespike0564 жыл бұрын
I feel you.
@bostonbault63434 жыл бұрын
Ily
@nchan6023 жыл бұрын
why is this so weirdly wholesome lol
@DirtyFiST693 жыл бұрын
You probably remember her excited because you had an optimistic/excited/positive outlook on the game. Our brains a re weird.
@RedBonkleMan85345 жыл бұрын
6/10, wasn’t immersive enough, they forgot 24 hour staff duty, 3 hours of SHARP PowerPoints, Libo speeches, waiting for hours in line to turn in your weapon only to be told by the armorers that you missed one flake of carbon in your M4’s star chamber. Also, there was no mention to the borderline addiction of alcohol, energy drinks and tobacco products, slow advancements and many more reasons. You had it guys, you almost had it.
@michaelrojas86585 жыл бұрын
@TRID3NT W4RR1OR this describes my time in the infantry to a T!
@REALletsfail5 жыл бұрын
This is exactly what its like lol
@whatabouttheearth5 жыл бұрын
Lol good shit! Stop loss, fence in, roomate masturbating when your in the room, DFAS paying you $100 more one month and taking back $500 to fix their mistake, talking about creative ways to murder Jody, police calls, ankle pads, bullshit work, CS to test your mask lol (couldnt of used smoke?), dog and pony shows, black mold in the barracks, waiting forever for nothing to happen, "check the box" classes, talking about creative ways to murder the armorer if he doesnt take our shit, oh fuck where is my weapons card?, antibuse, they never fuck up your SSN until its time to pick up important documents like your DD214...A.A./N.A. 4 Lima
@GuyMontag04515 жыл бұрын
Tis life in a cav unit
@handofstand5 жыл бұрын
If only more people cared about good game design, jeez!
@THEGIPPER344 жыл бұрын
7 years ago I wrote a report on this video for a college literature class about realistic staire in media and how satire is sometimes closure to the truth than people's perceptions of reality and got an A on it... true story lol
@impyrobot3 жыл бұрын
Crazy it's been so long so fast
@stevenshoemaker83263 жыл бұрын
then the whole class stood up and clapped!
@GladiusTR3 жыл бұрын
I dunno what about this story was so unrealistic for you
@simoneangeliquemaloney39903 жыл бұрын
Cool
@anomolouscow37613 жыл бұрын
@@GladiusTR no no, you don't understand. Success never happens.
@Iuwl Жыл бұрын
Considering how popular simulator games are, this could've been a big hit
@metformin3154 Жыл бұрын
It is a big hit, its called arma 3.
@FutaCatto29 ай бұрын
@Ben-lv6tj Arma 3 is boring. You can always play Squad which is a much better game.
@abcdef-mz7gf4 ай бұрын
@@FutaCatto2 Better in the aspect that it matches the video "Drive a supply truck for hours"
@Jefff727 жыл бұрын
How about an Air Force version? You get sent as an aircraft mechanic to a base supporting C-130s. You sit around in an air condition room watching movies. Occasionally there will be something to fix, then it back to the movies. When your shift is over you go back to tent city and drink your 3 rations of beer, then go into the rec tent and play Grand Theft Auto.
@warpartyattheoutpost49876 жыл бұрын
@HaloLoreNerd dude, that's actually a legit idea! My Old Man was an Air Force mechanic, and I'm a former Army Engineer. I've always dreamed of a game where I could fly AND fix them! Maybe make some custom modifications...
@calebjames73145 жыл бұрын
Is this from personal experience because if it is I’m willing to sign up shieetttt, and they get me a dodge hellcat too boi bet lolol
@scoopersketchy5 жыл бұрын
Play video games inside a video game seems intense
@dangerousthoughts7905 жыл бұрын
Hear a loud noise, claim it was a mortar round, claim ptsd, and get benefits for the rest of your life and a bronze star.
@calebjames73145 жыл бұрын
DangerousThoughts damn lmfaooo 😂🤣
@margotrosendorn63713 жыл бұрын
Totally sending this to my veteran buddies. Especially Chris who spent his entire deployment "in the rear with the gear" schlepping crates and vehicles across the same body of water.
@LabGecko3 жыл бұрын
Hell even us combat vets spent 80-95% of our time like this.
@zapkvr2 жыл бұрын
And HE WAS A VOLUNTEER
@kimgkomg3 жыл бұрын
After you beat the game you unlock Re-drafted mode, where you start the game over again with all your items, but as a 40+ year old man. You have a slower move speed, worse eyesight, and if your Gout meter fills up all the way you get sent home
@dynasty336772 жыл бұрын
I’m dead 😂💀
@sheldonjplanktonn2 жыл бұрын
Gout 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Riley_Mundt2 жыл бұрын
New speedrunner strat, steal burgers and booze from the Officer's diner to max out your gout levels. Instant discharge, game won.
@kimgkomg2 жыл бұрын
@@Riley_Mundt but that requires you to have already beaten the game so it's not allowed in any%
@ilikepigeons6101 Жыл бұрын
Metal gear solid 4
@Elgar3373 жыл бұрын
I don't live in the US. I have done my mandatory army service in my country, and I'm amazed at how accurate this is.
@aaroncabatingan5238 Жыл бұрын
It's true for every peacetime military.
@yemo346 жыл бұрын
I just realized they actually asset flipped the first level of Modern Warfare 2 to create those animations.
@limetwistanimations86285 жыл бұрын
nah, i think they just recorded MW2 and did some basic stuff in post.
@maksuree5 жыл бұрын
@@limetwistanimations8628 nope, these characters and animations aren't in that level. I checked.
@AirahsELL4 жыл бұрын
"The majority of gameplay spent hauling equipment and filling out paperwork" So Death Stranding.
@wooza59194 жыл бұрын
Yeah basically just a waste of money if u buy the game, just watch the cutscenes on youtube
@tfwthelsdkicksin60834 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, kojima forgot that some people need constant death and explosions to be interested in a game.
@AirahsELL4 жыл бұрын
@@tfwthelsdkicksin6083 no, he just forgot the game can't be masturbatory self-indulgence to be good. Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing have no conflict at all yet they are incredibly beloved.
@tfwthelsdkicksin60834 жыл бұрын
@@AirahsELL I'd say it's matter of what the person likes. I enjoyed the long travels and silences because it was a breath of fresh air ( as compared to a lot of games where you shoot, go somewhere else, shoot something or someone else, take another set of orders and repeat the whole process). Sorry if this is a bit contradictory to my previous comment (it was meant to be a joke, the original one).
@wooza59194 жыл бұрын
@@tfwthelsdkicksin6083 You dont play videogames for a breath of fresh air, you go outside for that
@jojobaggins92243 жыл бұрын
My favorite levels are the ones where you marry a stripper just before deploying and then a couple levels later without warning she cleans your bank account of all the hazard pay you saved up. Impressive continuity
@apexone55023 жыл бұрын
The best part is when your character is bitter and calls all women whores as a result of his stripper wife mishap.
@alangriffin81463 жыл бұрын
That shit happened to my first supply Sergeant. Married a stripper we had met the month before NTC and was divorced and in debt by the time we got back from Iraq about a year later. Dudes will do some strange shit when they fear for their mortality, I guess. Soldiers, stay way from car dealerships and strippers, please.
@apexone55023 жыл бұрын
@@alangriffin8146 I think every vet, who's not the victim, has a story of the guy who married some chick of questionable character/reputation not long after meeting her and got cleaned out by her while he was deployed. Man, I'll tell ya, the young and the dumb.
@alangriffin81463 жыл бұрын
@@apexone5502 unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be a lesson that can be taught. I’m glad I joined as an older guy. The types that join the military are especially prone to rash action, it seems. Hence, them joining the military. I’m no different, but was a bit wiser than the young bucks. A frat house with guns, man.
@apexone55023 жыл бұрын
@@alangriffin8146 well, you and I are neck and neck. I had joined at an older age as well (late 20s). The few of us who were a little more seasoned were able to avoid a lot of the nonsense the younger soldiers would get themselves into. I can't imagine what I would've gotten into had a joined at 18 (like I almost did) away from the parental thumb.
@aced4fun5 ай бұрын
There’s no way this wasn’t written by actual service members, this is peak
@Crowley94 жыл бұрын
I am still waiting for the realistic shooter game where getting shot once means you have to spend a week in hospital, months in physical therapy and it still leaves your physical abilities permanently impaired.
@sofiamuller95454 жыл бұрын
The closest I've played were some games where if you get shot, your character falls over dramatically and takes a century to get back up.
@Crowley94 жыл бұрын
@BoomerLemon Press F to stave off suicidal urges.
@sovietunion76434 жыл бұрын
@@Crowley9 ffffff it's not working
@serhat.I2 жыл бұрын
Best I can give you is Insurgency. Take it or leave it
@seanstevenson27386 жыл бұрын
As a man in the military, I can confirm that while MW3 is more realistic than its predecessor, it failed to show the constant safety briefs, punishment for others actions, false motivational morale, and casual homosexuality. It did have more forms that you can keep track of, useless equipment that you have to haul around, and a fully untrained organization of 18-20 year olds in charge of all your money.
@seanstevenson27386 жыл бұрын
Claystead I’m still waiting for the DLC where your working nights and you go for a shower in the middle of the night to find some guy taking a shit in the shower.
@seanstevenson27386 жыл бұрын
Welshie Ranger I bought the Air Force version. You are given a full nights rest except for a couple times a week where you watch the door for a couple hours.
@Gurfi285 жыл бұрын
Man the military fucking sucks.. yet it was the best time of my life. How retarded are we?
@asperRader5 жыл бұрын
>casual homosexuality wait what
@Minlag30305 жыл бұрын
Excuse me, did you just say "casual homosexuality"?
@christopherpurcell4905 жыл бұрын
Military Service Members and Veterans were clearly involved in writing this
@Omgacow1000 Жыл бұрын
Any time people talk about video games needing to be realistic I always think of this brilliant video
@RapidReels88-444 жыл бұрын
"You mean if Jessica Biel were standing right there, you wouldn't go for her?" "Not if Shakira was right there".
@Clay36134 жыл бұрын
I wonder what year the game was supposed to take place in, both of those women were old news by 2011.
@RapidReels88-444 жыл бұрын
@@Clay3613 still... It's really funny.
@Forlfir4 жыл бұрын
@@Clay3613 Shakira is beautiful to this day
@garrethigdon76784 жыл бұрын
@@Clay3613 well, mw2 took place in 2016, and mw3 was in 2016- january 2017, so i would assume it would be the same timeline
@xMaverickFPS4 жыл бұрын
nah that dude is gay, Jessica Biel all day.
@jakeurness41613 жыл бұрын
"12 teens busted in adult pornography ring" lmaoooo
@ioiaxopanel36523 жыл бұрын
Onion was the shit back then man
@memesfromdeepspace10753 жыл бұрын
@@ioiaxopanel3652 or they see future
@winmanzerodeaths7763 жыл бұрын
@@ultimonx9152 I do not mean to crassly rain on your 2D parade, but it is possible that your preferred porn was made in a sweatshop.
@reddytoplay91883 жыл бұрын
Onion is the modern version of that 1990's show that has its reporter go to the future. Sadly, the host died in 2004 and the show was cancelled luckily a KZbinr named Ryan George has documented this show on his channel. @@memesfromdeepspace1075
@memesfromdeepspace10753 жыл бұрын
@@reddytoplay9188 thank for the info
@thoughtfulpug13335 жыл бұрын
This is just an Arma 3 roleplay server
@julius8554 жыл бұрын
Nah arma 3 is not that realistic but its one of the games wich is closest to be a walking Simulation
@IsThisRain4 жыл бұрын
^ Can kinda agree, but Arma 3's kinda mainstream now in the FPS community imo. Arma 2 OA was the OG. I remember spending an entire gaming session with friends driving around Takistan, not firing a single shot.
@SimakSantana4 жыл бұрын
Julius 85 /r/woooosh people like you don't belong in the internet boomer
@julius8554 жыл бұрын
@@SimakSantana bruh i got the joke idiot now get out of here reddit wannabe you are annoying people with your dead memes
@babyeater6394 жыл бұрын
@@SimakSantana don't you have band class to attend?
@sonnenshiro6045 Жыл бұрын
Games like this exist and I love them. Example: CM-SS13. Game of Colonial Marines vs Xenos. Marines have a military structure, hierarchy and economy. Some marines are literally just ordering and sending supplies, hauling equipment. Some are engineers just repairing stuff. Some are just pilots. Some are just doctors giving surgery to coma patients. There are also commanding officers, military police, even a combat reporter. All real players on a server, by the way.
@bradley4465 Жыл бұрын
Based ss13 enjoyer.
@bradley4465 Жыл бұрын
Also, the defending of phoron wells really feel like you’re garrisoned there. Fucking around with destroyed buildings, asking people their thoughts on OBs, that deal.
@sonnenshiro6045 Жыл бұрын
@@bradley4465 pleasure to see you here, Marine. Indeed, it is quite the milsim experience sometimes. One time I saw a guy using all the correct protocols on the mortar launcher. Me, having been a mortarman irl before, I ask him in LOOC where he served and he just tells me he read a mortar manual he found online. Fucking love this community.
@chancerymelton28145 жыл бұрын
I like the the mission where eight soldiers are crammed so tight in the back of a sweltering hot Bradley fighting vehicle that you lose all feeling in your legs and get an agonizing back ache.
@arandomzoomer48374 жыл бұрын
Chancery Melton My first death in this game came when I forgot to bring water during that mission and died of heat stroke because I felt awkward about asking his friends.
@aquillandscroll64284 жыл бұрын
Noremac Cameron Yep Bradley was a shit vehicle cause they wanted it to be able to do several things along with it’s initial role of carrying infantry that it eventually become something and the infantry role was gradually lost. All you had was a sweltering fucking compartment.
@crono33394 жыл бұрын
Oh fuck the good ol days. Dying from being stuck in between mre boxes, piss bottles and stacks of porn magazines in the hell hole.
@hydro2oxide7075 жыл бұрын
Tutorial takes over 18 years
@handofstand5 жыл бұрын
Game availability subject to wartime status
@Leo12391505 жыл бұрын
handofstand don't you worry about that
@handofstand5 жыл бұрын
@@Leo1239150 lol
@thesturm86865 жыл бұрын
Most of it is spent on finding humvee keys and knocking on ambrams armour
@hazukichanx4083 жыл бұрын
I chose the "Abused, Underprivileged Inner-City Ghetto-born" background, the recruiter got me with that line about rappers being ex-marines. Should have seen it coming.
@ErichoTTA13 жыл бұрын
War's even more miserable than I thought.
@cheetajoe49126 жыл бұрын
Eric Stevenson Only for POGs
@DireAvenger0016 жыл бұрын
War...war never changes
@doge26296 жыл бұрын
Diego suarez *PC MASTER RACE* music in the BACKGROUND
@B3Carnage3 жыл бұрын
Pandemic.
@Panthagone2 жыл бұрын
They pretty much nailed it, especially moving around equipment and filling out paperwork. Hate it when they put me on task to clean cigarette butts. I'm like I don't even smoke make the smokers clean it.
@ArmyGrunt198610 жыл бұрын
Awesome, finally a realistic combat game. Im going to Walmarrr.... Im mean Target right now to get this.
@echooutdoors21496 жыл бұрын
ArmyGrunt1986 I don't shop at Wal-Mart either I was just having to take a detour since they shut down the road
@dontlikesand19556 жыл бұрын
Do they sell video games at Walmart? I mean, I wouldn't know since I don't go there.
@KurtisandHurdle6 жыл бұрын
ArmyGrunt1986 good idea I don’t shop at Walmart ever since I.. wait I never went there I have always gone somewhere else it’s just i pass Walmart a lot
@henrygutierrez32436 жыл бұрын
What's a Wal-Mart? It sounds real, but I've certainly never heard of it.
@leithesocialistyuricon89816 жыл бұрын
ArmyGrunt1986 uhm oh Walmart isn’t that a Mexican market or somethin’? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been to Walmart..
@ian_b7 жыл бұрын
The new Star Trek game: Star Trek: Ordinary Crewman, is 100,000 hours of solid gameplay as an ordinary crew member on the Enterprise. 99% is spent on mundane tasks such as cataloguing gaseous anomalies, but randomly you are thrown from side to side violently, and nobody bothers to tell you what the fuck is going on. At the end of the game, Captain Picard decides to ram another ship with the Enterprise, and since your cabin is at the front of the saucer, you die in your sleep.
@legoeasycompany7 жыл бұрын
Hardest Difficulty level is Red Shirt with a 100% guarantee of death
@mechadeka9 ай бұрын
Damn. I can't believe Picard would just sacrifice everyone's favorite bar like that.
@angrymaninapandamask64325 жыл бұрын
Just got click baited from 8 years ago
@ricosintron20755 жыл бұрын
TheRedfox909 right?
@angrymaninapandamask64325 жыл бұрын
@Ty Thomas Boxing Training i do but i thought it was the new one and had a fun time when i saw it was old the joke its the title
@pnaixe5 жыл бұрын
how the fuck is this a clickbait?
@ncrsoldier46035 жыл бұрын
Dude, it isn't clickbait, it's a joke. But don't listen to these salty Mojave haters.
@wut26975 жыл бұрын
@@ncrsoldier4603 and i thought it was scrapped 😅
@derekstein6193 Жыл бұрын
1:34-1:48 I had no idea we were slated to play as such philosophers and warrior poets. A truly psychological and spiritual game experience. Too bad it never got a release after all those years of development; I was really looking forward to that field-stripping and cleaning mini game.
@joshuagrahamcrackers5 жыл бұрын
Oh man I'd almost forgotten about this video. This brings back some great memories I have of the game. One playthrough, I made it all the way through my deployment, came home, and ETS'd only to run into some weird bug where my VA paperwork never went through so I went to a bar to lower my stress meter and ended up committing manslaughter in a bar fight and got a game over.
@Altoids1015 жыл бұрын
Are they expecting us to believe that congress cares about saving money??
@bluehornet1975 жыл бұрын
No there not because The Onion is all BS they do this on purpose
@ridhosamudro21995 жыл бұрын
Saving money for whom?
@riftvallance20875 жыл бұрын
Most ridiculous thing they have ever said
@michaelsabrosky93245 жыл бұрын
@Altiods all the people that replied to your comment bit right into the onion
@heselofhephidiyiai59854 жыл бұрын
Dang guys you really bit the onion huh
@turnoffthelights18585 жыл бұрын
Yo, I am actually on the special feature; deployment Germany, where we sit around and repair strykers for my whole contract. This video game is the story of my life.
@NJ-wb1cz5 жыл бұрын
Why do people in Germany keep breaking them?
@ls2000764 жыл бұрын
@@NJ-wb1cz It's not German engineering
@bobchipman44734 жыл бұрын
@@NJ-wb1cz because then they won't have anything to do
@NJ-wb1cz4 жыл бұрын
@@bobchipman4473 So it's basically USSR 2.0 - doing pointless work for the big government cash.. Got it.
@Clay36134 жыл бұрын
Have you visited the local whores? Lotta tramps hanging around outside the base!
@shoozymusic2 жыл бұрын
This is so accurate to my time in the Army, this had to have been written by a veteran.
@ZhangtheGreat10 жыл бұрын
So I need help here. I'm playing this game right now. I'm in the middle of the ten hour wielding mission, and I'm supposed to be gossiping about celebrities, but I keep ending up revealing private information about my family. What buttons am I supposed to push to start talking about my jealous rage for Matt Damon? =)
@bokchoiman6 жыл бұрын
Actually some of these shoot-the-shit convos could be fun to play through. Almost like a visual novel experience. Some of the most inventive scenarios come out of boredom.
@thehistoryguy40185 жыл бұрын
Until you're forced to choose between things like "would you rather eat shit, or drink shit", and are attacked on a personal level for choosing a different answer.
@squidlytv5 жыл бұрын
@@thehistoryguy4018 It would be character building.
@thehistoryguy40185 жыл бұрын
@@squidlytv I cam tell you from experience, it doesnt build character, it causes fights because of how seriously we take it
@squidlytv5 жыл бұрын
@@thehistoryguy4018 Jokes.
@handofstand5 жыл бұрын
12GB of audio with possible combinations of what you could shoot-the-shit about! Endless entertainment! Get your free copy at your local recruiter's office! _part of an advertisement on TV at the time_
@CaptWarChief5 жыл бұрын
I didn't know this was a joke until the end where they talk about Congress wanting to save money
@cyncynshop4 жыл бұрын
tbf congress would cut your electricity if that means saving money for military development.
@payes1ytp7174 жыл бұрын
Family fights to keep deceased woman on respirator
@haydenvaniderstine96453 жыл бұрын
America's Army used to involve sitting in classrooms listening to lectures and writing tests before any live rounds could be fired. What a great game that was.
@sixstringsamurai0073 ай бұрын
When I was in the army we played it during our lunch break laughing our heads off.
@BrotherHood-xh9sg3 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for the DLC that features the realistic themes of PTSD, Finding your wife/GF in bed with another man, Divorce, Losing your house & other shit, being homeless, suicide & the post credits; "We didn't notice any of the signs. He seemed perfectly fine, we don't know what happend to him."
@nerida33473 жыл бұрын
Can't forget about the main mission of the dlc: dealing with lack of government support after you become severely disabled but it's ok because someone in Walmart thanked you for your service
@BillyBob-qu1fs3 жыл бұрын
Once found a guy laying on the side of I-75 in the rain we thought was dead. Turned out he was incredibly drunk because he just got back and found out his wife had cheated and cleaned him out. Said he had nothing left and to just leave him alone and let him die. My friend had already called the police and ambulance before he woke up and when he found out he stumbled into a nearby swamp to hide from them. I couldn't convince my friends to not tell them where he went so the poor guy probably got charges on top of his already f-ed life.
@BrotherHood-xh9sg3 жыл бұрын
@@BillyBob-qu1fs Jesus, I know I kinda joked about these issues in my original comment. But stories like this just show how much it can fuck a guy up.
@BillyBob-qu1fs3 жыл бұрын
@@BrotherHood-xh9sg Well the best satire is based in truth so yeah. It does suck that the world is this way though.
@TofuTeo10 ай бұрын
@@BillyBob-qu1fsI’m a woman and I’m pissed at that wife. What a disgusting lack of character/morals/empathy, making an already-difficult situation (of readjusting to civilian life and dealing with trauma) 10000x worse. Disgusting.
@simionalexandru95466 жыл бұрын
When Onion News know more about videogames than CNN.
@buckplug24235 жыл бұрын
When Onion News knows more about the military than most civies!
@rockysehf57185 жыл бұрын
@DeltaGem preach pastor
@grizzlyowlbear35385 жыл бұрын
I mean that ain't hard
@2killnspray95 жыл бұрын
2011 be like : "ULTRA REALISTIC!! GRAPHICS!!!" 2019 be like : "Good graphics"
@rhietpas4 жыл бұрын
Pretty sure this originally came out on ONN's own channel well before 2011.
@unkn0wni4 жыл бұрын
I love retro games
@MadGamer_6664 жыл бұрын
Pfffff Good graphics are overrated. Some of the best and classic games don't need realism.
@curmudgeon1933 Жыл бұрын
Added realism when you arrive home with PTSD and serious shrapnel wounds...then have to fight the VA to get your medication which suppresses the pain enough so you don't end it all.
@TofuTeo10 ай бұрын
Heartbreaking... I’m so sorry. Sending you love and hoping for your healing 😔❤
@Polarwhisper63 жыл бұрын
When i was young i saw this and believed the whole thing got excited for the game. Started googling for “ call of duty repairing humvees” hoping to find out more on the game. I’m not shitting you In my defense, I really wanted to be a soldier and the 17000 hours of realism gameplay really interested me. Watching it for the first time again as an adult is nostalgic and eye openning as to just how dumb I actually am.
@bushmg10612 жыл бұрын
When I was young I saw a video where a guy said he had just built his PC and downloaded RAM and it took me years to realize that was supposed to be a joke lol
@shreknskrubgaming72482 жыл бұрын
I still have memories of telling my friends that Xbox was releasing a handheld Xbox 360 called the Xbox 720. Such a long time ago, and I was such a dumbass.
@MrDino1953 Жыл бұрын
You’re not so dumb that you don’t even know you’re dumb. Unlike a certain orange ex-President.
@chrismath149 Жыл бұрын
Well, if you haven't joined the militar join an ARMA milsim clan. Closest thing you can get without being put into uniform.
@Polarwhisper6 Жыл бұрын
@@chrismath149 I'm not gonna play some videogame made for kids. I've "grown up". i just smoke weed everyday now.
@64CSAR4 жыл бұрын
The onion has a better idea of how the military works than most government officials
@Donjuanantoine Жыл бұрын
That's cap.
@Anunnaki_Gula Жыл бұрын
@@Donjuanantoine Not really.
@NYG55 жыл бұрын
Modern Warfare 4 radically changed gameplay where you play as a US Air Force airman who goes to two formations a day and has to go to a unit event friday afternoon to play multiplayer minigames that nobody wants to play. In the DLC deployment pack you learn how to build a gym in Bahrain and install WiFi as the whole game has been described as a cross between The Sims and Minecraft.
@isse67904 жыл бұрын
Chairforce
@barbaryn78994 жыл бұрын
I like the army version better. Your Fridays are spent sweeping the motorpool and waiting for your commanders safety brief "beat your dogs and kiss your wife not the other way around"
@Buufenheim4 жыл бұрын
As a veteran Airman, I felt that
@ibrun5151 Жыл бұрын
This is one the funniest videos I have ever seen 😂. And as a 2x Iraq War vet, 100% accurate. Such good writing 👏👏
@wako1576 Жыл бұрын
How hot was it? How many people have you killed? Do you see the movie Black Hawk Down? Did you ever do a Black Hawk Down? Were you ever like the guy in Black Hawk Down? You know the movie Black Hawk Down? I like that movie.
@maximusdiximus-4827 Жыл бұрын
@@wako1576 yes I have the same questions. I hope he answers
@eleven99 Жыл бұрын
How many confirmed kills did you daydream about while you were avoiding cleaning the mess hall?
@BlackSailPass_GuitarCovers4 жыл бұрын
Don't miss out on the scrolling headlines at the bottom - they're gold :) "How to downplay the convenience of arms to your armless child"
@mho...2 жыл бұрын
Yeah they are normally more polished then the actual topic 😅
@s1nd3rr0z37 жыл бұрын
When I was 11 or 12 when this game out and I actually thought it was real. Jesus Christ.
@MrRogerogerio6 жыл бұрын
Same here.
@earlkentsucalit10826 жыл бұрын
Joey Salads just made u realize how easily media can brainwash its people
@stubbypepperroni23576 жыл бұрын
Earl Kent Sucalit Or it shows how a twelve year old can fall for satire
@icameherejusttocomment5505 жыл бұрын
@@zasmrcaveman5725 No, don't.
@greenthizzle45 жыл бұрын
Z ASMR Caveman lol military is for sheep who have a desire to fight for corporate agendas and nothing that has to do with our people's actual freedom
@Dalton_Boardman20003 жыл бұрын
I'd legit buy this game. It actually looks like a good story telling experience. It probably helps that I'm also a fan of slice of life stuff that has connectable characters just experiencing their day.
@ehova58383 жыл бұрын
Bro just enlist lmao
@CrazyCrayfish3 жыл бұрын
@@ehova5838 this is the way edit:typo
@GeographyPal3 жыл бұрын
Id love to hear class A military banter for hours sometimes. Lmao
@C0wb0yBebop2 жыл бұрын
So the actual deployment I went on had some excitement. You make bonds with other soldiers from Puerto Rico to Hawaii and everywhere in between. You meet NATO troops from Germany, UK, Spain, Japan, Australia and get to learn about their lives. Missions you get are from giving water to allied villages to protecting individuals and areas of interest. Was it crazy exciting at times ? God yes. Was it boring as watching paint dry sometimes? God yes. But I loved every minute of it. Never felt so alive when anything could happen. Deployment changed my life forever.
@Crazychickenlady4482 жыл бұрын
They denied me for the military, but this is probably the only Call of Duty-type game that I would own on purpose
@jeremynelson96212 жыл бұрын
I laughed through this whole skit. Honestly the only thing they forgot was the "hurry up and wait order." And I wish they worked longer on the humvees cause the ones we had were shit
@psommorr5 жыл бұрын
Honestly, the Onion's take on MW3 should have been the real game.
@astrosherlock3745 жыл бұрын
It is, its called Arma 3
@humanbeing90794 жыл бұрын
Heard of Squad?
@fatherofdragons54774 жыл бұрын
@@humanbeing9079 It's nothing like squad.
@theashman78364 жыл бұрын
It actually sounds fun
@squidward17284 жыл бұрын
Really.........?
@siu2814 жыл бұрын
0:48 Skills : Endurance, Infrequent Urination, Impression of Superiors, Beatboxing
@ndbd9drn11 жыл бұрын
Awesome RPG elements.. Take control of your character and make decisions that matter....
@Gamberbro2376 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I loved the part on Day 291 where you have to choose whether or not to accept Private Dobson's offer to swap your beef taco MRE for his meatballs in marinara sauce MRE
@gigan24446 жыл бұрын
in other words not me3.
@sigbauer97822 жыл бұрын
No kidding, but this is the most realistic war game you'll ever find. I'm being completely honest here, but that's EXACTLY how it really is, even the part about being endlessly asked about how many you killed and the heat!