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How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You're Banging On The Side

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The Onion

The Onion

14 жыл бұрын

On Today Now!, golf expert Jordan Ritter has some Pro Tips for maintaining a steady swing while hitting the links with your mistress' husband.

Пікірлер: 3 600
@pumpkinhill4570
@pumpkinhill4570 5 жыл бұрын
I can never get over how good the acting is in this one.
@RainbowDashShadesOfApproval
@RainbowDashShadesOfApproval 5 жыл бұрын
How do you know they're acting? That right there is a bold assumption you have, pal.
@unfathomable3434
@unfathomable3434 5 жыл бұрын
300th
@nightly8392
@nightly8392 5 жыл бұрын
.
@clickbaitcancer6894
@clickbaitcancer6894 5 жыл бұрын
.
@imtheh4cker110
@imtheh4cker110 5 жыл бұрын
.
@braddles8684
@braddles8684 2 жыл бұрын
The acting in this is insane. His face after he said “I’m fucking your wife!” You can see it all happening. The awkwardness, the laugh, the unsure smile and the quick change of subject it’s actually perfect
@menacingbarofsoap3559
@menacingbarofsoap3559 2 жыл бұрын
are you sure it's acting?
@poknberry5795
@poknberry5795 2 жыл бұрын
That wasn't scripted. The actor was giving a hint to the other actor.
@ghostnike901
@ghostnike901 2 жыл бұрын
@@poknberry5795 I'm not entirely sure but I think the golfer was fucking the other guys wife. Really hard to tell though. I'll ask his wife later after I fuck her just to be sure.
@papitasloup2119
@papitasloup2119 2 жыл бұрын
@@poknberry5795 are you pulling this magic behind the scenes info out of your ass or something
@cameroncooper5195
@cameroncooper5195 2 жыл бұрын
@@poknberry5795 "Just pretend its part of a script, and you're in a parody satire video! I'm fucking your wife!"
@goyonman9655
@goyonman9655 5 жыл бұрын
"lose weight by reducing your bone density" 😂😂😂
@antoniovlassa5886
@antoniovlassa5886 4 жыл бұрын
Best part.
@user-vi9ng4dt5r
@user-vi9ng4dt5r 4 жыл бұрын
wnc817 I thought it was a jab against people who claim they’re not fat, just big boned
@johnmartinez7440
@johnmartinez7440 4 жыл бұрын
@wnc817 Not sure that's correct. Seemed more a joke about people on intensive diets who try to lose 20kg in a month. As long as you're eating an adequate amount of calories, the vegan diet is no worse for bone density than any other - it's very easy to get enough calcium, protein etc. Starving yourself to lose weight is what can damage your bones.
@johnmartinez7440
@johnmartinez7440 4 жыл бұрын
@wnc817 Surely omnivore merely means we can eat both plant and animal matter, not that we *need* both. Supplementing B12 is incredibly easy (I think something like 40% of the US population is B12 deficient; and indeed much livestock is given injections with it). The American Dietetic Association and the NHS both agree that vegan diets are nutritionally fine, so I'd rather trust them tbh
@chefboiardeeznutz9881
@chefboiardeeznutz9881 4 жыл бұрын
I'm just BIG BONEDED
@HoNow222
@HoNow222 4 жыл бұрын
These sketches are waaaay better than SNL's.
@raeyadmasu1590
@raeyadmasu1590 4 жыл бұрын
SNL went down the drain with the rise of ”woke” culture
@capslocked7274
@capslocked7274 4 жыл бұрын
@@raeyadmasu1590 snl has gone way down before that
@raeyadmasu1590
@raeyadmasu1590 4 жыл бұрын
capslocked When did it? I remember watching it in the late 90s and 00s, back when people could take a joke
@departmentofdate2263
@departmentofdate2263 4 жыл бұрын
Levonte Jones III I started watching weekly in 2010 and it was already pretty bad there. Like awfully bad. the 2016/2017 season was pretty good (comparatively) - Kate McKinnon is the best thing on the show. everything else is crap :///
@herculesbrofister265
@herculesbrofister265 4 жыл бұрын
Should bring Norm back onto the cast.
@TimeandMonotony
@TimeandMonotony 5 жыл бұрын
That cold, calculating look in the golf pro's eyes at the end fucking killed me. 😂
@TechSupportDave
@TechSupportDave 3 жыл бұрын
Not sure why nobody replies to some top comments. The comment above yours literally has 355 replies and 43k likes. So basically, over 50 THOUSAND people, maybe over 100 thousand even, have seen your comment, and not a single person decided to leave a reply. Truly strange anomalies. Edit: cry more guys.
@TimeandMonotony
@TimeandMonotony 3 жыл бұрын
@@TechSupportDave Well I appreciate your reply. ☺
@elijahbaker9999
@elijahbaker9999 3 жыл бұрын
I’m replying too ;)
@TimeandMonotony
@TimeandMonotony 3 жыл бұрын
@@elijahbaker9999 🙏
@cyberwolf5787
@cyberwolf5787 3 жыл бұрын
same
@quietcorner293
@quietcorner293 5 жыл бұрын
The actor playing the coach should've gotten an Oscar for this.
@kanegreen7731
@kanegreen7731 5 жыл бұрын
guy needs his own tv show
@quietcorner293
@quietcorner293 5 жыл бұрын
@@kanegreen7731 Like how do you fish with a guy who's wife your banging? Like how do you hang out with your buddy when your fucking his girlfriend?
@Synthwave89
@Synthwave89 5 жыл бұрын
Who said he was acting? Muahahha!
@hiskishow
@hiskishow 5 жыл бұрын
The stare at the end. I always lose it at that point 🤣
@jerryb4705
@jerryb4705 5 жыл бұрын
.....NOBODY IS ACTING!...
@TrueScandinavia
@TrueScandinavia 5 жыл бұрын
The way the camera stays on the golfer in the last scene is just fucking brilliant. Whoever directed this is a genius, and the acting is PERFECT!
@abyss.92
@abyss.92 4 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha ikr.. the other dude is still talking about the show. But the cameraman stuck on him like wait a minute, I think he seriously fuckin his wife!
@Iyadkay
@Iyadkay 3 жыл бұрын
That was a subtle nod to the slow viewers.
@SUPERMA5TER
@SUPERMA5TER 2 жыл бұрын
I kinda knew by the way the Golf Pro kept exclaiming it at the end he was doing it to Jim, but after rewatching the beginning where Jim says they're best friends and the Golf Pro hints "it could be a coworker or even a best friend" it sealed it for me 😂😂😭😭💀
@SimonASNG
@SimonASNG Жыл бұрын
Genius of you to figure that all out... ;)
@mikearchibald744
@mikearchibald744 Жыл бұрын
I wouldn't have seen it coming, except that I just watched the one about getting revenge on the guy who cut you off in traffic and it turned out the host had done and just ate some of his 'muffins'. Apart from that I'm not too bright.
@_Sparky144
@_Sparky144 8 ай бұрын
@@mikearchibald744 Same
@jrisso6
@jrisso6 5 жыл бұрын
"Make it seem like you barely remember who she is . That's probably the case in a few weeks anyways , AMiRIGHT?"
@booradely6423
@booradely6423 5 жыл бұрын
Refer to her as your wife lol
@theislamophobicprophet5718
@theislamophobicprophet5718 5 жыл бұрын
I'm surprised most of the people didn't catch that he was banging his wife lol that's why he said "I am f^#$# your wife" 😅..... still looking in the comments.
@booradely6423
@booradely6423 5 жыл бұрын
@@theislamophobicprophet5718 umm that was the joke genius
@theislamophobicprophet5718
@theislamophobicprophet5718 5 жыл бұрын
@@booradely6423 Yeah but most ofcthe ppl didn't mention that ..... see the comments .... "genius". They are all talking for some othrr 'highlight'.
@sage3111
@sage3111 5 жыл бұрын
misspelled....it amiiright, not amiright....
@toastisgood1234
@toastisgood1234 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the advice! Been needing some tips when I play against my Dad.
@shishi1103
@shishi1103 5 жыл бұрын
This comment right here 😂
@nicholasoneal1521
@nicholasoneal1521 5 жыл бұрын
@@andre_reis literally
@francescalandt4491
@francescalandt4491 5 жыл бұрын
Toast Is Good 123 woah there bucko
@bruh2636
@bruh2636 5 жыл бұрын
r/cursed_comments
@TheRealArya
@TheRealArya 5 жыл бұрын
@@bruh2636 r/ihavereddit
@chinsaw2727
@chinsaw2727 4 жыл бұрын
“She has some tips on what ladies like to do.” “Coming Up: How to Black Out Gracefully”
@ruben1475
@ruben1475 4 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of a Marlene Dietrich quote Witness For The Prosecution, it was "I never faint if I can't do it gracefully" or something like that
@lucifermorningstar3709
@lucifermorningstar3709 3 жыл бұрын
that’s racist
@fytra2025
@fytra2025 3 жыл бұрын
@@lucifermorningstar3709 Black out, as in faint or get knocked out
@lucifermorningstar3709
@lucifermorningstar3709 3 жыл бұрын
@@fytra2025 ‘twas but a joke
@millantronni3242
@millantronni3242 3 жыл бұрын
Black Out matters
@bradleyjohnson6107
@bradleyjohnson6107 4 жыл бұрын
I love the fake morning show enthusiasm.
@Darkmatter105
@Darkmatter105 8 жыл бұрын
I watch the onion more than the real news because it actually makes me happy, and not deeply depressed or terrified.
@shamicentertainment1262
@shamicentertainment1262 5 жыл бұрын
Hmm I never feel that when I watch the real news.
@anonb4632
@anonb4632 5 жыл бұрын
LazyStatic More truth in the Onion than the tendentious shite put out by so called "news" networks.
@Lyle-xc9pg
@Lyle-xc9pg 5 жыл бұрын
Thats because youre watching fake news
@anonb4632
@anonb4632 5 жыл бұрын
Lyle "Fake news" is the mantra of censors who want to shut down indy media, fake or not.
@FlaminalLow
@FlaminalLow 5 жыл бұрын
Static105 probably more accurate too ;)
@notevenau
@notevenau 5 жыл бұрын
"I slashed his tyres and moved on" lmao
@henrylemley3257
@henrylemley3257 5 жыл бұрын
"I flashed his daughters and moved on."
@DokuNekuon
@DokuNekuon 5 жыл бұрын
@[insert some stupid name here] i thought thats how the british spell it
@JudgeDreddMegaCityOne
@JudgeDreddMegaCityOne 5 жыл бұрын
@@DokuNekuon Yes, but since he is quoting an American English speaker, it should be spelled the American way.
@isaiahdaniels5643
@isaiahdaniels5643 5 жыл бұрын
@@JudgeDreddMegaCityOne That's not how that works. Localization doesn't consider native spelling.
@Mom-yg1rt
@Mom-yg1rt 5 жыл бұрын
Brandon Burrows so if you’re watching a Russian video and you want to quote something it should be in English?
@hadamsj
@hadamsj 4 жыл бұрын
I'm watching this after "Porkin' Across America" and... that marriage really was doomed from the start
@mrpariah8060
@mrpariah8060 3 жыл бұрын
Can you link it for me?
@katie_me
@katie_me 3 жыл бұрын
@MrPariah If you haven't seen it yet and wanna watch it, try not to read the comments until the end Here's the playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PL4NL9i-Fu15jdlr2KQf_lyhXl5f0PFnzF
@frgwyn3760
@frgwyn3760 3 жыл бұрын
I know u from other comments
@d3ly746
@d3ly746 3 жыл бұрын
Funny story: I watched that series while drinking Pepsi, and by the last episode... Let's just say I can't bring myself to drink pepsi ever again because of the ptsd the taste gives me.
@leephillips4402
@leephillips4402 3 жыл бұрын
I came here from the valentines day stoning and keep getting sent to earlier videos.
@Monk-ow3ok
@Monk-ow3ok 4 жыл бұрын
“Pack A Weapon In Your Golf Bag In Case Outing Is A Trap” Onion please come back
@bryankochar7615
@bryankochar7615 3 жыл бұрын
Every club in the bag is a potential weapon lol
@liamjm9278
@liamjm9278 Жыл бұрын
@@bryankochar7615 They have a club as well. You want something that gives you distance to stack the odds in your favour.
@DJRenee
@DJRenee 10 жыл бұрын
If you start to feel guilty, its not your fault he can't satisfy his own wife..............LMMFAO
@Meeminator
@Meeminator 5 жыл бұрын
It’s his fault he can’t satisfy his wife... not mine!
@omiorahman6283
@omiorahman6283 5 жыл бұрын
Lol
@therealbs2000
@therealbs2000 4 жыл бұрын
Bart: I'm going to be doing this... [windmills his arms] If you get hit, it's your own fault. Lolol
@perry-4444
@perry-4444 3 жыл бұрын
XDDD
@wiggy5209
@wiggy5209 3 жыл бұрын
When you realize that women can't keep it in their pants nowadays and you're actually just a side "husband's best mate who holds with him"
@palpatine775
@palpatine775 8 жыл бұрын
Great Golf tips! What I learned is, on the golf field or off, it's all in the hips.
@Meeminator
@Meeminator 5 жыл бұрын
Until you need to slash someone’s tires, then it’s all in the wrist
@DrewElGringasho
@DrewElGringasho 5 жыл бұрын
Chubbs was right!!
@PotawatomiThunderNew
@PotawatomiThunderNew 4 жыл бұрын
“Get off’a me”
@BostonBlues
@BostonBlues 4 жыл бұрын
How is this comment 4 yrs old and nobody called this guy out for calling it a "golf field" lmfao
@PotawatomiThunderNew
@PotawatomiThunderNew 4 жыл бұрын
Boston Blues wow... I guess I didn’t think anything of it, but now that you point it out it’s a like a glaring error 😄
@justrandomthings319
@justrandomthings319 4 жыл бұрын
2:21 The look on Jim's face was absolutely hilarious.
@judgefish4044
@judgefish4044 3 жыл бұрын
fantastic acting
@galil_6863
@galil_6863 3 жыл бұрын
He deserves 3 Oscars for that
@TommyAngelo1337
@TommyAngelo1337 Жыл бұрын
Okay...
@gblargg
@gblargg Ай бұрын
He's thinking, wait... is he not joking?
@randyrandelson4649
@randyrandelson4649 Жыл бұрын
I just started golf lessons. Glad I found this episode as my instructor omitted this important information.
@creepyworld7148
@creepyworld7148 Жыл бұрын
Play uno reverse card - tell your instructor that you are fkin his wife
@Sorrelhas
@Sorrelhas 9 ай бұрын
Maybe he's banging your wife hahahahaha I'm kidding of course
@manuelillanes1635
@manuelillanes1635 5 жыл бұрын
I don't have a wife, or have ever played golf but this is pretty educational
@TheeOnlyStolas
@TheeOnlyStolas 5 жыл бұрын
ruddy illanes why would you need a wife when you could bang a co workers on the side
@OrcaPlushie
@OrcaPlushie 4 жыл бұрын
Carrot Manchester bamboozled again
@ryantuck1151
@ryantuck1151 4 жыл бұрын
nor have ever gotten laid
@Grgrqr
@Grgrqr 3 жыл бұрын
1k likes, fear me
@horminmangfi5653
@horminmangfi5653 3 жыл бұрын
@@Grgrqr , fear Shall consume you, like I consumed the mayonaise after it transformed into a humungous, violent monster, that resembled my friend's sister that I was hitting on
@SeraphimRoad
@SeraphimRoad 6 жыл бұрын
Hey. Thats not satire. Its actual useful information
@csat1308
@csat1308 5 жыл бұрын
(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)
@carultch
@carultch 5 жыл бұрын
I like the advice about deliberately avoiding mentioning his wife's name, and acting like you barely remember who she is.
@petitio_principii
@petitio_principii 4 жыл бұрын
You don't gain anything by saying, "hey, I'm fucking your wife," though. It just increases the odds of you end up being murdered. Instead, you do better by avoiding the topic as much as possible, and, if not possible, try to divert to a fake "me too" thing, on suspicions on how your own wife or girlfriend may having an affair, or yet, how she actually had once, but then everything got sorted out and you're happy together, saying that ironically being cuckolded was sort of a growing experience as it taught you how to have a better relationship, as a warning sign of neglect and so forth, and maybe some zen hippie stuff on how being physically possessive of a partner is something we all must overcome for our own good but even for the relationship, and so forth.
@ikagura
@ikagura 4 жыл бұрын
@@petitio_principii What did you even just say?
@obseed3041
@obseed3041 4 жыл бұрын
@@ikagura basically he said avoid joking about fucking someone's wife. If you can't avoid the topic of having an affair then turn it into a "Oh I can relate to that" situation and make some kind of moral lesson out of it lol.
@benm1414
@benm1414 4 жыл бұрын
2:06 the random caddy in the background doing his job as though they're on the green 😂
@alfredschnozzenstein1657
@alfredschnozzenstein1657 4 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing! Like, what was the purpose of that?!?!? lol
@benm1414
@benm1414 4 жыл бұрын
@@alfredschnozzenstein1657 it's details like these that keep the Onion as a trustworthy source of information - they truly know what they're talking about!
@cbusjones2657
@cbusjones2657 Жыл бұрын
That's hilarious. He has a whole set of clubs instead of just handing him one for demonstration.
@alexforce9
@alexforce9 3 жыл бұрын
I dont know who was writing those 10 years ago - but damn, this is perfection from start to finish. The script, the settings, the acting!
@LostOneOmega
@LostOneOmega 5 жыл бұрын
Instructions not clear. Now I'm sleeping with both... 😐
@disrespectthemwomensubjuga5471
@disrespectthemwomensubjuga5471 5 жыл бұрын
Just say no homo, and you will be OK.
@SwervedUpWest
@SwervedUpWest 5 жыл бұрын
XD
@Seth9809
@Seth9809 5 жыл бұрын
That's actually better?
@Critic115
@Critic115 5 жыл бұрын
Plot twist they're in a loving polyamorous triad
@Eddyhartz
@Eddyhartz 5 жыл бұрын
Any hole's a goal
@planetary109
@planetary109 10 жыл бұрын
Whoever the actor for Jim is, he is an excellent actor.
@griffin8062
@griffin8062 4 жыл бұрын
His real name is Brad Holbrook
@DizGaAlcam
@DizGaAlcam 3 жыл бұрын
666 likes
@yungtooli
@yungtooli 3 жыл бұрын
he was in i am legend
@dillpickle5960
@dillpickle5960 3 жыл бұрын
@@yungtooli what was his role?
@yungtooli
@yungtooli 3 жыл бұрын
@@dillpickle5960 he played a news anchor in the beginning of the movie
@tuckerwelty3913
@tuckerwelty3913 3 жыл бұрын
“How to shake down caddy’s for some overheard stock tips” that had me weak asf
@Obsiqax
@Obsiqax 3 жыл бұрын
Most underrated joke by far
@enijize1234
@enijize1234 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂 had me dead
@combocentral
@combocentral Жыл бұрын
Please come back “the onion” these videos are all classics lmao!
@danko5866
@danko5866 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, I mean I'm sure a lot of people can fund their videos if they ask for it
@mc1993
@mc1993 Жыл бұрын
I wish they would, but I don't think they can afford to make these types of expensive sets videos again. The PC police and the new hyper sensitive generation don't take kindly to humor.
@Drakonopia
@Drakonopia Жыл бұрын
I know right... i hope they return
@harveyknguyen
@harveyknguyen Жыл бұрын
@@mc1993 also now the new thing to mock is the mass amount of meaningless influencer content
@thedieseased2834
@thedieseased2834 Жыл бұрын
@@mc1993The Onion has always been run by liberals lol, it’s not the “PC Police” that made them stop these
@ZuluWarriorz
@ZuluWarriorz 14 жыл бұрын
"its not your fault he cant satisfy his own wife" hahahaha onion i fuckin love you!!!
@dylantee44
@dylantee44 3 жыл бұрын
Hi
@feetsniffer1488
@feetsniffer1488 3 жыл бұрын
Hello
@zapkvr
@zapkvr 3 жыл бұрын
To be fair shes probably colder than a dead fish. And smells worse
@eattheasslikeitsgrass5113
@eattheasslikeitsgrass5113 3 жыл бұрын
@@zapkvr nah she’s pretty active in bed. Ask your gf and mom
@Fearless_on_my_Breath
@Fearless_on_my_Breath Жыл бұрын
Nice to meet you
@gemizu4874
@gemizu4874 5 жыл бұрын
i can tell from the title this ones gonna be a banger
@powerforth8400
@powerforth8400 4 жыл бұрын
a real bangher
@SerbAtheist
@SerbAtheist 3 жыл бұрын
Banger? But I've just met her!
@bardofhighrenown
@bardofhighrenown 3 жыл бұрын
What I really like about the writing in this one is the way that they characterized the golf pro. I felt like he keeps banging other men's wives expecting it to bring him some fulfillment, some feeling of conquest and superiority. But in the end it feels just as empty and meaningless as everything else he does. So he escalates to flaunting the banging of their wives in front of the husband and it still doesn't give him a twinge of feeling so now it's more of a panicked reaction to have affairs' because he doesn't know how to escalate it further as he is frantically trying to stave off the existential dread that nothing will ever bring his power fantasies to fruition and he is doomed to constantly live with the feeling of being unsatisfied and purposeless, but lacks the necessary inner-reflection to divert course. So he just mindlessly rushes headlong down the only path he sees, while being vaguely aware that he is powerless over this feeling and the real impotency is his ability to achieve any sort of life fulfilling sense of meaning.
@LoVeLoVe-bi2rq
@LoVeLoVe-bi2rq 2 жыл бұрын
wew lad
@MikeyJMJ
@MikeyJMJ 2 жыл бұрын
Me when I have to reach a word count
@okarowarrior
@okarowarrior 2 жыл бұрын
@@MikeyJMJ your comment was actually more funny and insightful than OP's mediocre diatribe
@jbtvt
@jbtvt 2 жыл бұрын
That hits
@maazkalim
@maazkalim 2 жыл бұрын
Philosophy overload...! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@chriswyatt9869
@chriswyatt9869 3 ай бұрын
I’m sorry but the actor for Jim haggerty in all these onion bits is just top class. Like he is incredible
@buckamoona
@buckamoona 14 жыл бұрын
lol 'slashed his tires and moved on' haha
@mikepaulson7605
@mikepaulson7605 10 жыл бұрын
I watch this show every day. I love real news and real tips like this that you don't find on other news channels.
@UseADamnCoaster
@UseADamnCoaster 2 жыл бұрын
"Don't call his wife by name, act like you barely even remember her" "that'll probably be the case in a couple weeks anyway" *both laugh* Man I fucking lost my shit 😫😂🤣😭
@kandrosrichards4446
@kandrosrichards4446 4 жыл бұрын
The stuff that this KZbin channel has come up with is way better than anything SNL has ever made
@thegamingreaper1293
@thegamingreaper1293 3 жыл бұрын
Bruuuh no one makes good videos like this anymore. These are the gems of KZbin
@SaganTheGreat
@SaganTheGreat 14 жыл бұрын
God, I wish the onion made a full 30+ min episode of this show. Just one. You know, like a real morning breakfast show.
@constantinosschinas4503
@constantinosschinas4503 Жыл бұрын
guess you can take the episodes and stich them together, they have break motiοn graphics in between anyway. add some adds too
@hubbletelescope1721
@hubbletelescope1721 4 жыл бұрын
The fact they didn't laugh the entire time and maintained serious face is showing how good actors they are haha Keep up the good work!
@Gloomdrake
@Gloomdrake Жыл бұрын
They did laugh, and they didn't have serious faces. This isn't that kind of skit. The roles called for friendly banter, so they're behaving jovially
@user-sm2pc6qu6z
@user-sm2pc6qu6z 5 жыл бұрын
2:28 that menacing smile 🤣
@DeepSoulUnit
@DeepSoulUnit 4 жыл бұрын
That’s the clincher!
@CharlieGreenwald
@CharlieGreenwald 11 жыл бұрын
This is maybe my favorite Onion video pound for pound. Great one liners, perfect realism.
@1fareast14
@1fareast14 Жыл бұрын
Pound pound indeed
@TheEyeball37
@TheEyeball37 9 жыл бұрын
I love the part about losing weight at the beginning.
@chickencutlet3
@chickencutlet3 5 жыл бұрын
Most underrated part of the video
@goyonman9655
@goyonman9655 5 жыл бұрын
Funniest part
@geoorge1000
@geoorge1000 3 жыл бұрын
@Jeremy Garvey I feel the power surging trough me
@katipunanball4799
@katipunanball4799 3 жыл бұрын
“I loved my dad then he died” “Oh that must have been tough.”
@d159inu
@d159inu 3 жыл бұрын
2:20 is the best reaction I've ever seen
@BearWindAppleyard
@BearWindAppleyard 13 жыл бұрын
2:15 love how he's slowly realising what's going on
@pikpik42
@pikpik42 3 ай бұрын
This comment is so old the timestamp is not working properly because it wasn't a feature back then. And this clip is still top level comedy.
@danielkyavata6233
@danielkyavata6233 3 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of an old joke: Two ministers are playing golf. The first says, "You know, before I was married, I never even slept with my wife. What about you?" The second thinks for a second and answers, "I don't know... But tell me, what was your wife's maiden name?"
@stupidas9466
@stupidas9466 Жыл бұрын
The better punchline is…"I'm not sure. When exactly did you get married?"
@floydcomstick5960
@floydcomstick5960 Жыл бұрын
There is so much comedic talent here, the way he delivers the line “sort of like you’re tip toeing out of the backdoor of a mans house” as he swings is just superbly comical. 1:07
@thesciguy4823
@thesciguy4823 Ай бұрын
I have to be honest ... the Onion has always been ON POINT with their stuff. This is better than 99.9% of "humor" stuff on KZbin, and it was made over a decade ago.
@everwake2689
@everwake2689 2 жыл бұрын
Jim Haggarty is great. Love his befuddled reaction at 2:00.
@joediesen1
@joediesen1 4 жыл бұрын
The actors on the Today Now sketches absolutely nail their roles as morning show hosts. It's uncanny.
@lesleymaner2851
@lesleymaner2851 7 ай бұрын
I noticed that too. It’s like the morning show host actor was born to play that role. He would be perfect as an actual host.
@allwrathnograpes
@allwrathnograpes 4 жыл бұрын
the segues in this are pure genius. "Stay with us because coming up a bit later on in the show we're going to be visited by our diet expert who's going to show us how to lose weight by reducing our bone density!" "We're going to head back over to Tracy now, she's got some tips on things that ladies like to do".
@derekw104
@derekw104 Жыл бұрын
"things ladies like to do" followed by "How to black out gracefully"
@strangulator123
@strangulator123 5 жыл бұрын
That confused laugh at the end is gold!
@rustyAF
@rustyAF 3 жыл бұрын
The laugh at 1:00 is absolute perfection. These two actors are fully aware of the white guy laugh and crush it lmao
@Vekikev1
@Vekikev1 Жыл бұрын
are you american?
@JapanischErfahren
@JapanischErfahren Жыл бұрын
@@Vekikev1 of course he's American. Noone else uses terms like "white guy x" and "black guy y".
@gigaimpactor981
@gigaimpactor981 Жыл бұрын
@@JapanischErfahren because most other countries don’t have the same level of diversity as the US 🤡
@hithere640
@hithere640 Жыл бұрын
it’s all about race isn’t it
@cheydinal5401
@cheydinal5401 Жыл бұрын
​@@hithere640They said white guy, so that type of laugh is just as much about gender as about race. I'd add age, and having moderate wealth
@grahammcadams2456
@grahammcadams2456 3 жыл бұрын
Good advice! I used to have no idea what to do when I play with my brother in law but now I know a lot.
@OmnipresentPotato
@OmnipresentPotato 11 ай бұрын
0:39 the look on his face when the guy looks him in the eyes and says "and even your best friend!"
@korbonmillington8667
@korbonmillington8667 5 жыл бұрын
The coach is an excellent actor he is fully committed to method acting 😂
@gutenman7112
@gutenman7112 4 жыл бұрын
How creative this dialouge and acting are is beyond me
@michellea3152
@michellea3152 2 жыл бұрын
Why does the onion have some of the most talented actors ive ever seen
@TheBronzeKnee
@TheBronzeKnee 11 ай бұрын
I don't understand why we can't have this anymore, this is the most brilliant thing I've seen and it isn't getting made anymore?
@oscarmmoreno5977
@oscarmmoreno5977 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing I showed this video to the people in my village and we all agree that it changed our lives for ever.
@Azrael__
@Azrael__ 5 жыл бұрын
Completely unrelated, but congratulations to Tiger on his 2019 Masters win.
@CrazyRiverOtter
@CrazyRiverOtter 5 жыл бұрын
Completely!
@Cjnw
@Cjnw 4 жыл бұрын
🍗 #FriedChicken 🍗🍗 #PouletFrit 🍗
@ooferrell
@ooferrell 4 жыл бұрын
Wow......
@smurfyday
@smurfyday 4 жыл бұрын
Is he your daddy?
@rockycomet4587
@rockycomet4587 4 жыл бұрын
big boy I am thankful that Tiger stood behind our Glorious MAGA Leader every step of the way.
@xXJeReMiAhXx99
@xXJeReMiAhXx99 10 жыл бұрын
tiger woods?
@SophiaAphrodite
@SophiaAphrodite 6 жыл бұрын
Apparently infidelity is common amongst golf pro's. Tiger was simply caught.
@punani_slayer4209
@punani_slayer4209 5 жыл бұрын
@@SophiaAphrodite that's why they are pro's
@poopdealer47___67
@poopdealer47___67 5 жыл бұрын
More like tiger’s wood
@carultch
@carultch 5 жыл бұрын
@@SophiaAphrodite And then his wife went all Carrie Underwood and beat his car with his own golf club.
@drewshepard8002
@drewshepard8002 3 жыл бұрын
holy shit you made me laugh
@StamfordBridge
@StamfordBridge 4 жыл бұрын
Today Now! was always sheer genius - every aspect of it. Literally too good to last.
@ijneb1248
@ijneb1248 4 жыл бұрын
When your wifes boyfriend takes you out for a game of golf
@timmydirtyrat6015
@timmydirtyrat6015 5 жыл бұрын
I can't watch Jim Haggerty anymore without thinking about Porkin' Across America.
@RWAsur
@RWAsur 4 жыл бұрын
same..... I feel like bits like these pre-Porkin Across America just add to the canon. Like his life was an apologue for us mere mortals to indulge
@artvandalay13
@artvandalay13 3 жыл бұрын
You mean Pig Haggerty?
@jackoneill8585
@jackoneill8585 10 жыл бұрын
if you tune in and think this is a actual news program they did their job haha i loveeee this channel.. freaking hilariouse
@patarcher9199
@patarcher9199 3 жыл бұрын
This is one of the greatest videos I’ve ever seen
@Languslangus
@Languslangus 4 жыл бұрын
Blacking out gracefully is a key skill in a social environment.
@markmark5269
@markmark5269 3 жыл бұрын
So dry humour, love it. The Onion makes SNL look like teenage amateur hour.
@MrDogfish83
@MrDogfish83 3 жыл бұрын
I like how each tip is tacked on to golf instruction like it's just another swing thought to keep track of.
@JeansWebbTv
@JeansWebbTv 2 жыл бұрын
That slightly camp wiggle during "...what ladies like to do!" - so spot on.
@JacoWium
@JacoWium Жыл бұрын
So funny, that! The attention to detail in Onion's videos is simply astonishing. Almost every second in them features a little nuance or subtlety that just nails common (and inherently ridiculous) human behaviour.
@justrandomthings319
@justrandomthings319 4 жыл бұрын
1:39 was so casual. Lol.
@crazytacoburger
@crazytacoburger 14 жыл бұрын
"my dad and I played a lot of golf... I loved my dad... and then he died" it was at this moment that I paused the video and spent a good 2-3 minutes crying while laughing harder than I have in a long time.
@ypsiloneksugarek4157
@ypsiloneksugarek4157 Жыл бұрын
Man, those over 10 years old sketches are lit AF.
@gforce365
@gforce365 4 жыл бұрын
The segments in this show are way more useful than expected
@BoonMcNougat
@BoonMcNougat 4 жыл бұрын
I liked this in the hopes that the issue of 'How to blackout gracefully' is addressed
@CaptPicard81
@CaptPicard81 4 жыл бұрын
The acting in this one is just extraordinary. Chef's kiss all around
@poopiepantsmcgee456
@poopiepantsmcgee456 5 жыл бұрын
The acting on all these are amazing.
@Joskus
@Joskus 3 жыл бұрын
Holy shit. I had to watch it again immediately after the first time. When he said "if its not me banging her its somebody else" really hit differently the second time around 😳
@northernbrother1258
@northernbrother1258 5 жыл бұрын
The actor playing the golf pro was effing brilliant!
@danieledwards3144
@danieledwards3144 5 жыл бұрын
I... I love everything about this. So funny.
@eryczakpl2337
@eryczakpl2337 Жыл бұрын
The title is a meme already, the video makes it a work of art
@charlieleonard7610
@charlieleonard7610 Жыл бұрын
The acting in this is absolutely top drawer
@michaelmaloney8183
@michaelmaloney8183 4 жыл бұрын
"Yeah see ya later, say hi to Tracy for me!" "What" "What"
@jmmjjmmjjmmj
@jmmjjmmjjmmj 4 жыл бұрын
...
@likhochokri6849
@likhochokri6849 3 жыл бұрын
"How to black out gracefully". I need to watch that ... 🙏🥺🥺🥺
@NikkyElso
@NikkyElso 3 жыл бұрын
"Remember, if it's not you nailing her, it's somebody else!"
@PlayzieBum
@PlayzieBum 3 жыл бұрын
That slayed me
@jakeweston13
@jakeweston13 2 жыл бұрын
man these were sooooo ahead of their time. The onion is truly one of the internets most underrated gold minds.
@douglasfulmer5483
@douglasfulmer5483 5 жыл бұрын
"I slashed his tires and moved on." Golden
@aljordan2698
@aljordan2698 3 жыл бұрын
Way better and honest than the “real” news!! 👍🏻
@colinclaytor4669
@colinclaytor4669 3 жыл бұрын
“He’ll be back next week to show us how to shake down Caddies for overhearing stock tips” IM WHEEZING 😂😂😂
@neurofiedyamato8763
@neurofiedyamato8763 4 жыл бұрын
I love how the host got uncomfortable. Very subtle, I saw it coming but its very good acting and execution. Less obvious than I anticipated.
@markymark6229
@markymark6229 3 жыл бұрын
this gets said fairly often on here, but the onion seriously knew how to cast some amazing actors. and thats not even discussing how clever the writing is. so ahead of their time
@felipecardenas621
@felipecardenas621 5 жыл бұрын
2:18 "Ok"
@hasbulla2012
@hasbulla2012 3 ай бұрын
2:29 that face😂😂. “How is he not getting it?”
@notoverlyacerbic9574
@notoverlyacerbic9574 Жыл бұрын
Its been said but i must reiterate,the guy who played the golf pro is amazing.. Extremely well done.
@ozelot1175
@ozelot1175 4 жыл бұрын
Gonna use these tricks on my brother in law.
@coleschemistrychannel4172
@coleschemistrychannel4172 4 жыл бұрын
Hold up
@Namelesswhirl
@Namelesswhirl 3 жыл бұрын
Why do I hear "Sweet home Alabama"?
@gazebo9730
@gazebo9730 3 жыл бұрын
Stop. Wait a minute.
@JBearTrades
@JBearTrades 3 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@smrutismarak9503
@smrutismarak9503 3 жыл бұрын
Stop right there.
@kylesteinhauser2535
@kylesteinhauser2535 5 жыл бұрын
This is so wonderfully done.
@bsfatboy
@bsfatboy 4 жыл бұрын
So nuanced. Genius
@jamesstack9777
@jamesstack9777 4 жыл бұрын
This helps a lot, I’ve been playing golf with my brother in law
@DickBanton
@DickBanton 5 жыл бұрын
"Final Tip: Pack A Weapon In Your Golf Bag In Case Outing Is A Trap."
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