Understand Your Woman | Jordan Peterson

Learning The Technology of Listening can be a game changer for men. Jordan Peterson lays out the basics of how men can level up their communication game.
#parenting #motivation
Helpful Questions To Ask Yourself
How do you listen when your wife is sharing with you?
Are you listening to understand or listening to be understood?
Do you have children? Can you use these same skills with you children?
Watch the full interview here:
@TheDiaryOfACEO
@JordanBPeterson
Full Interview here:
• Jordan Peterson: STOP ...
The original content from shows, podcasts, and keynote speeches is transformed by Tech Proof Kids to give viewers a more engaging experience and highlight the importance in the context of parenting.
By adding more dramatic elements and simplifying it for the end user, we amplify the content's original message.
Footage and music commercially licensed through Envato Elements.
Fair Use Disclaimer Copyright disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, commenting, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statutes that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational, or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
1. The videos have no negative impact on the original works.
2. The videos we make are used for teaching purposes.
3. The videos are transformative in nature.
4. Only the audio portion and sparse amounts of video are used, and only when necessary.
Contact me at [e-mail] if there are any problems, queries, or issues.
I'm grateful you came to watch.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

[@tinykingcontractor1396]

Respect for not putting emotional music in the background. Those things just ruin the main content.

[@millermanhal]

My wife and I learned to talk things out. Calmly and rationally. When we talk things out and I listen to her....usually she works it out and realizes as we talk(I listen) before I even have to chime in. The key in our marriage with 4 kids is to be honest,listen to eachother and support the plan or conclusion we come up with. Im not always right or her but we follow through and try to support eachother. Sometimes we have to compromise or pivot to make it work. But we always are moving in the same direction to achieve our goals. 14years so far and works.

[@TechProofKids]

@millermanhal sounds like you have a beautiful mature relationship with your wife. I am happy for you guys and how you guys continue to grow together. Thank you for sharing.

[@techpriest6962]

Glad to hear things work out for you guys. In my life most of the women I meet in my generation have a disposition toward panicking when things go wrong and "throwing a fit" so to speak. Then blame anxiety for the inappropriate way of handling problems by taking it out on people around them.

[@alaalfa8839]

@@techpriest6962 Sometimes estrogen makes women more emotional especially if there is some problem or crisis, A stress hormone is involved it's estrogen 10 affecting the moods and panicking, and the brain is noticing the problems 10 times more. Testosterone makes men much more calm and more focused. John Gray explains how to understand it. Estrogen and testosterone are hormones. You know. So maybe you may offer the women to become men and have testosterone instead because testosterone calms the person down, or to do some yoga, to calm down. What if you get a daughter, you will probably have much more empathy to talk about things. John Gray explains that if a man forces wife to think rationally its against her biology,....she would become a male figure. He says if a woman forces a man to think emotionally all the time, it is against his biology, he would become a woman. So the husband is supposed to understand it and ask the wife not What do you think about this but "How do you feel." wife shouldn't ask him "How do you feel?" but she should as "What do you think?"... because men thanks to testosterone use to think mostly because testosterone is suppressing estrogen in a man´s body. and estrogen suppresses testosterone in a woman´s body, therefore she has more estrogen than testosterone she thinks emotionally. You wouldn't want to live with another male in the house and call her wife, even though testosterone would calm her down. Maybe use empathy toward each other. When you become old man you will have much more estrogen than testosterone, you become much more emotional and grumpy. If you will not use some mental exercises or yoga or meditation.

[@thundershirt1]

This is why women need support networks outside their men. We men should try, but we don't speak the same language. Women need to have contact with other women. My grandparents talked about the men circles and the ladies circles, each with different strengths and weaknesses. Each eith their own domains. Traditional cultures are still like this. Our giant experiment in gender remolding seems to not be working out well at all, for anyone.

[@twh1209]

one of the best and wisest relationship advice i ever get.... prof. J. Peterson is my real guru

[@papi5377]

Jordan to Jest tak osobiste , że zaczyna kontrolować życie podmiotu. Nie odważyłbym się otwierać swojej listy ...

[@1artistsexpression]

I am glad to identify productive feedback for men in relationship to women. Productive tools for communication and navigation are crucial to success.

[@agape843]

Absolutely brilliant! It IS a navigation,a journey to the crux of the issue. It all needs to be laid out for BOTH parties. I know for me when I bring a problem forward,it’s as much as an investigation and an attempt to get to the bottom of things as it is for my other half,because even I may not even know. Laying it all out,asking questions from both sides,digging deeper. It’s not an attack on the other,nor should there be any defensiveness,just a pure curiosity as to what EXACTLY is going on!

[@johnjamesnorton1218]

Legend

[@user-kcrpine]

Give her what she wants and hope she returns the same respect. With most women today? No thanks.

[@jaym6979]

way to oversimplify the video

[@Cowkill]

I've done that with my wife for most of our marriage. But as soon as I wasn't able to do so as much as before because I had a lot going on on a personal level she went to another man. So it can work but only with a stable woman who doesn't constantly feel threatened by everything in her life and is able to solve her issues once they are identified.

[@eskimo3622]

Its about feeling understood

[@smokingcrab2290]

It's about feeling safe enough to say what you need to say. Both parties need to do that for each other without fear of judgment

[@michaelormond8511]

Yes, men listen carefully, but not if you're just going to abuse us. Let's just get to the problem now, not the past ladies... May God bless us all and much love...

[@b374f15h]

I already know you agree.

[@Vitriol-Divergent]

ROFL he made an excellent case for never being in a romantic relationship with a woman.

[@TINAD9977]

You didnt understand nothing...

[@Vitriol-Divergent]

@@TINAD9977 You didn't understand how right to proper grammar.

[@marytataryn5144]

Near the end we weren't even talking to one another except on a business level. I knew he wanted out, which was a discouraging thought. But I didn't like the way he talked to me. So I ended it. It hurt, but it was the best thing for us all. Every time I brought up an issue, it went sideways to some kind of insult to me or disparaging remarks about the house work, the food I cooked or the way the kids behaved. I just would bring the conversation around to the actual subject, but it got tiring and was very damaging to our relationship. Then he started calling it a "toxic" relationship. It wasn't toxic. It was just a bad relationship. It was a drag.

[@roshanikokarde3742]

I like this Man very much!

[@standground7956]

*I guess I lucked out with the calm and rational adult conversations between me and my wife.* Then again, I don’t care about the life happenstances, emotional or mental state of any other woman; my wife is the only female I communicate with on a deep level.

[@koelkastridder3388]

Guys please just listen to actual women you meet. I'm not saying not to take any of Mister Peterson's advice, but he is speaking from an outside perspective as a man. All the best ❤

[@Benieg83]

He's speaking as a highly educated and qualified clinician, genitals aside..

[@gaia7240]

I think he said true things even if he is a man

[@Volkbrecht]

That outside perspective is valuabe. Because other men see the problem from the same perspective, and the initial reaction to that is: women don't make sense. And that is actually correct. They don't. But for an inexperienced man that is a hard insight to come to, especially when he was raised to treat women as his equal, which they are not. So having someone with experience and education point out how to navigate such situations is a good thing.

[@gaia7240]

@@Volkbrecht wtf

[@Solistastyle]

And he is speaking as a man who had no idea of what he is talking about. The only women in his life are not mentally or emotionally healthy. Neither is he. And the so called data he relies on is based on a society that no longer exists.

[@b374f15h]

I am well, and hope you are, all things considered. Delivered from some circumstances, but met with some others as the former responded.

[@L3xu588]

Could you provide a link to the original interview? :) So many shorts and summarys of Jordan Peterson out there and never the full video is linked. You could stand out from others in doing so ;)

[@TechProofKids]

Sure thing. Its in the description, but here it is again: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f4Omi2SDqZeUbq8

[@notyetskeletal4809]

Reminds me of when I wrote down what she was babbling (while she was driving) which made no sense. I asked her about it and she couldn't tell me what she meant. I stay alone now.

[@b374f15h]

I agree hearing "I feel bad for you" constantly, especially from spirits, or anyone for that matter (and it isn't just women) is it creates a sense of impending doom, when I don't know what they feel bad for me. Like they no something is going to happen, but then they don't tell me, and it's like why? You got to tell me so I can prepare, but all they say is, I feel bad for you, or amen, or you can keep your opinion, or yada. (This is my schizophrenia (spiritual illness) is what I call it). Not directed at you. I had a dream with you the other night too. It was regarding past dealings with addiction.

[@b374f15h]

I say if you are with the amish go for it.

[@jeremiaswitt1374]

I’ve felt like a little weird when it comes to how I handle with angry feelings, because sometimes I don’t know about what am I actually? And what has worked best for me is to take a moment and put everything that can make me angry into análisis, until I find a reasonable thing to those feelings (and I try to do the best to be the solution) but I felt weird to do so, now that I know this I think I wasn’t as wrong I accept that I’m a little weird, but at least not as wrong as I thought

[@iztherelife1340]

My husband is the absolute worst at listening. No joke. It makes me just cry if I’m not shaking mad. Yesterday my pet rooster ended up dead because my husband didn’t listen to which roosters needed to be culled. He literally eliminated my pet Buzz. All he had to do was listen. Just yesterday’s main fight. We’ll see what today brings. 😩

[@ciaranward4685]

Maybe Buzz was a meatier rooster? Or maybe you have an annoying voice when you're nagging.

[@ChuckSneedly]

God forbid you do the thing that needs to be done. Fucking nag nag nag

[@kushkingla7385]

Just know I am always wrong and it’s my fault. She is always right and I need to obey. This is what I get.

[@barjonah9466]

I hope that’s tongue and cheek. I know it can seem that way. We joke that when she says she’s thirsty the worst thing I can do is jump up and get her a glass of water.

[@robertthomas3777]

Yep. Yes dear. Then I do what I think. Logic can’t reason with emotion.

[@Charybdismoon]

This mindset is just toxic. You will never actually accept responsibility for the issues or hurt you have possibly caused. Your partner should be able to communicate that to you without you shutting down and assuming you need to obey. She could be abusive, it's very possible. Or you could also be unwilling to see what you're doing wrong.

[@robertthomas3777]

@@Charybdismoon ‘doing wrong’, or not right according to her?

[@Charybdismoon]

@@robertthomas3777 If they're your partner, you should consider their feelings. Even if you don't agree. Even if you don't think you're doing wrong or don't like hearing what they have to say.

[@indigenoussober407]

Those are some strange lights behind Dr Peterson

[@Mangolorian-je3eo]

Been married a quarter century and I have NEVER had a time when she’s thought “something’s wrong maybe it’s a or b or c”. But “I want to complain about a and b and c and I don’t want you to fix them because if my live is a crisis then I can blame that instead of being responsible”? Had a ZILLION of those.

[@mrboyban]

Come on JP this is not black and white like a cookbook. We are all different with different challenges. I've been in a marriage for long time and facing a wife using the prenuptial agreement to exert coercive control over all the aspect in my life. I had to give away my job(because she made my life hell) to become her unpaid builder. Building/refurbishing her houses isn't a fun business my friend. The clueless people would jump right away saying to break up and sure I would love too, however the situation is so inhumane that I can't. Living a proper hell.

[@mattpoynton3285]

I hope you manage to untangle yourself from this.

[@vtwintora]

1:11 lol

[@markwilliams1481]

I experience the same thing in a corporate environment when analyzing business processes/systems. Most people are rather emotional about a given situation, I think caused by a previous stressful situation. I find by LISTENING and asking for clarification when I don't understand or hear something (this is typically met by skepticism) then asking 'stupid questions' I unearth the problem with them. I'll also note that men have become less masculine / more feminine over the past 20 years or more. That's a 'ding' moment for me.....

[@krishnaravichander3132]

in what way have men become more feminine? is it pattern that you've noticed?

[@markwilliams1481]

@@krishnaravichander3132 The terms Masculine & Feminine can be difficult to nail down, they are generalized concepts. I’ve noted men becoming less assertive, to be clear I’m not referring to rude, unprofessional behavior, rather uncomfortable with communicating instructions, guidelines etc to their team. Additionally I’ve seen an increase in emotional attachments and/or responses when analyzing business or systems processes. As I said, it’s a very high level generalization. I’ve also noted physical differences, young men seem to be smaller and/or more slender. Again, a high level generalization from the past 10ish years.

[@markwilliams1481]

@@krishnaravichander3132 Now that I’ve been back to work for a short week after the Christmas shutdown I was immediately reminded of this post/exchange. I noted all this in the first 2 or 3 days this week. Here’s a few specifics…. Many men can’t state needs or spec out a process. They are also very indecisive. Almost like a woman that expects you to anticipate her wants, needs, and desires. Granted I cut my teeth in a very masculine, yet professional environment (the US Marine Corps), where a good problem/challenge definition followed by a solid mission statement was the first step in making progress. Note I made two activities one step. Next is an aversion to stating a problem for fear of offending someone. I liken it to Jordan Peterson stating being agreeable is a very feminine quality, while being disagreeable is masculine. The feminine seeks harmony, even to the detriment of making progress with a process or group, one that directly impact my paycheck every 2 weeks. These feminized males can’t get off the gerbil wheel of what a Kiezan trainer would call ‘non-value-added activity’. The inability to take accountability is rampant, although I don’t think that’s a specifically modern feminine trait.

[@robertthomas3777]

Take notes recorded as dot points. Read them back. Now rank them. I find that women can cascade and ask dozens of questions in one breath, not allowing a response for each in turn.

[@singingstars5006]

I don't know any women who are like that and I'm not like that. I'm actually an internal processor. My husband processes externally more than I do.

[@luisfitsfromhell]

Master Peterson just explained what ``que resuelva`` means to latin woman 😆 that ``resuelve`` thing is a recent trend from one week ago here in mexico hahah

[@b374f15h]

Love ya. God bless you in Jesus' Mighty name!

[@linuxrant]

I am pretty suggestible guy. If someone says to me: "dude I think there are 10 problems with you". I do not go: "oh, let's make a closer look then to see what exactly do you mean, and let's measure if that is remotely true". No. I go: "oh, yeah, Recently I was thinking that the other time that chick in the supermarket was pretty hot, I am probably slowly trying to cheat on you, I also once did not say the whole truth to you, because I did not want to look like an idiot the other time... Oh and I did not give you enough money last time, that's because I am too greedy"... Oh no... I prefer not to listen... most of the time. I am afraid of my own tendency to drown in darkness...

[@thatdutchguy89]

This man is insane

[@b374f15h]

They had the spiritual shooting in the church, the middle finger, the whole pride and glory thing, someone became an ice box, real abominable. Still dealing with the glory ghosts.

[@psyou7713]

Jordan Peterson: What men need to do to understand their women. Women: Honey, would you still love my if I was a worm?

[@ThereisNOpandemicWAKEUP]

No patience!

[@Peccath]

sights* Don't use subtitles if you can't spell.

[@SubZero-pi4jr]

Don’t do it guys! The risk reward is not worth it. Most times they bring nothing to the table at all and will leave and take everything at the drop of a dime . Doesn’t matter how much you provide or how loyal you are. They are wired to be narcissistic and deceptive and are masters at their craft

[@sandrataylor5063]

as are men and it cost me dearly.

[@LeroyDogg]

Sounds like you had a f’d up relation. Friendzone maybe? Anyway, keep that to yourself, not all women are like yours.

[@ajfite1277]

Sounds like you need to learn about extreme ownership if that’s going to change

[@LeroyDogg]

AJ wat?

[@lh2630]

@SubZero-pi4jr hope you follow your own advice. Someone with that mindset would make some poor woman so unhappy and miserable 😭

[@timothyblazer1749]

"They have to do this in good faith". Yeah. There's the problem. Generally, they don't. I've done this many times. In nearly all cases i have had to object to characterizations because they are totally disrespectful. Finally found ONE woman who doesn't do this. At age 53. That burned my chance at having a family. So umm...please stop making this one sided, and all about men. If a woman is confused about what she wants, that's not the mans fault, nor should he treat her like a child and indulge her reckless behavior.

[@smokingcrab2290]

The problem is women don't tell the man the whole truth. They might tell the man the truth "in that moment" but the woman doesn't explain the whole picture and then judges the man unfairly thinking she will be judged. So the man can listen but he will still be the abuser in her mind, even though he genuinely wants to hear her thoughts. But the most critical point you made is how important it is to get the woman to talk because the woman doesn't even know what the problem is until she talks. The worst thing a woman can do for herself is jump to conclusions about the man and then bottle her crap up inside.

[@thomastv914]

If that's not a Nobel Peace aprice right there, I don't know what is. #JordanPeterson

[@BigHit9922]

Jordan is the last person I’m gonna trust about advice on women 😂

[@ciaranward4685]

Why?

[@TimB8232]

If you are living like this, you're already a psychiatrist!

[@RobertPaulsim]

I agree. This mostly is a test to see if you can take her shit. Dont fall for that. Listen but make a tired face and ask her if it is a test, because you dont have time for bullshit

[@mrboyban]

JP seems to have changed. Before it was to give man a voice. I'm wondering if he fell in the hands of a mistress or sort of actress.

[@Charybdismoon]

In providing tools for a successful relationship to men, he is giving them a voice. He is explaining how to listen to a woman.

[@CrouchingscarabflyingJ]

JP doesn't really know shit

[@georgekuchma6185]

Learn one thing: she is not "your" woman. She is her own woman.

[@singingstars5006]

I don't have a problem being my husband's woman. It's feminists who don't like that.

[@skumflum3768]

Of cause she is my woman, my wife… just like I’m her man.

[@b374f15h]

The spirit of hunter is back, and as well as the rest of the "spirits of glory" and they all got cast out of heaven again. Big fall. great red dragon. Don't think God was fond of behavior. Not the judge just observe rant. Steven was asking if he it was his turn to get turned into the little girl again, mine came to pass a couple months ago. I stick with Christ so the suffering was brief, and quite disgusting on all accounts.

[@austin33785]

I don't listen to anything women say because they have no accountability and are ruled by emotion.

[@Charybdismoon]

I've found men can be quite the same as you describe here, in my 7 years of marriage. I think this is more an issue of the individual choosing to be incredibly selfish, or choosing to lack emotional intelligence.

[@dieselbrodeur]

hilarious commentary field by men who are definitely not in a relationship. Guys it's not about listening to any random woman on the bus stop ....

[@ligfifty]

This guy is a glorified SIMP

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

'Your woman' no Jordan. She's her own woman.

[@user-no8vs9bv9s]

He didnt write the title

[@1hitwoon99]

who did?@@user-no8vs9bv9s

[@hadeseye2297]

0:35 xD The only good advice was to say: Shut up. ;) You just can't reason with peopple you can't reason with. Some women are ignorant even about themselves and they are just beyond repair. Get a better model.

[@Solistastyle]

Says the man whose wife and daughter have serious mental and physical health issues. What makes this man any authority on women? He relies on outdated data. And his understanding of women is from a society that no longer exists. Women run businesses, raise children alone. And build empires. Identifying issues is not a gender issue. Neither is basic communication. 🙄 Communicating in order to assist someone to identify an intuitive response is not a "dominance" issue, or a gender issue. It should happen both ways. It's called basic communication.

[@usa2121]

Women rarely run businesses. Its a gender issue. Single women rarely raise healthy children boys in particular.

[@DaRkArTs11]

On a scale of one to ten, how woke are you? Cuz to me, that’s what emanates from the multiple comments I’ve seen you post. Seems like you harbour a personal vindictive agenda and hatred towards this man from the comment responses. You also seem selective about data and twist some of it to represent what suits you; whether it be about his practice, qualifications, or what he’s attempting to articulate. No one thought can be perfectly expressed that will be universally understood as intended. What kind of sense does it make to hold him accountable for the physical health of his daughter for example when it’s been an ongoing condition since childhood? Or for his wife/ any other person’s depression? He’s not a god. He can’t wave a wand and completely remove illness. Pretty lame attempt at denigration with that kind of vitriol being launched. Certainly wouldn’t make me think that you are any more qualified or some reigning authority to trust. Not everything he says is gospel, it all resonates to different degrees with me. No one should simply swallow what someone says without at least doing some cursory examination of the thought and attempt to discern intent. That said, clearly the skill he’s developed to articulate his thoughts as best he can is helpful to many to incite a measure of reflection and find tools for communication.

[@humbertovargas1211]

how this man got the nerve when can even teach hes own daughter to e a decent women of family . and hes wife is severly depressed . people need to start listening to people with actual proof of what they are saying , all jordans says is literally mental vague gymnastics

[@singingstars5006]

He has a lifelong marriage to his childhood friend. What his daughter does with her life is on her.

[@RobertPaulsim]

This mostly is a test to see if you can take her shit. Dont fall for that. Listen but make a tired face and ask her if it is a test, because you dont have time for bullshit - eventually she will drop all tests and be more "to the point"

[@Wet_Willys_Wetter_Water]

I personally dont have the patience and emotional bandwith to sit with a woman and listen to them hash out EVERY.....LITTLE....THING they need to before we solve the problem. At that point, youre being frivolous with both time and emotions and I really dont have excess emotions to spare

[@janinemelanie8391]

You don’t have to spare any emotions. You just have to be able to listen to hers with empathy without making it about you.

[@Wet_Willys_Wetter_Water]

@@janinemelanie8391 what makes you assume that just because I'm not the one talking that I'm not experiencing an emotional burden?

[@Charybdismoon]

My husband was similar, he's almost been stabbed in previous relationships because other women were so frustrated with his lack of care. He is just NOW learning not to behave as this man commenting is saying, if he wants any sort of successful relationship. This behavior ends up pouring into all conversations eventually, my husband would scream at literally anyone he didn't have the patience to listen to. This behavior is incredibly self involved and often results in loneliness