Understanding Billy Corgan's Depression

I help guitarists play their favorite songs from start to finish with accurate rhythm. Click the link below and fill out the form to book a free consultation call.
➜ idm7z44vf21.ty...
Send me a DM on instagram if you have any questions or inquiries:
➜ / christianhaugliee
INFO: Smashing Pumpkins was one of the biggest bands of the 90s. Their sound merged together metal, grunge and experimental rock that made them stand out from the rest of the grunge bands at the time. Although founding members James Iha, Jimmy Chamberlin and D'arcy Wretzky were all involved in the creative process, Billy Corgan was pretty much the creative engine and control freak of the band. He was the introverted kid who always had the goal of being successful with music. But success didn’t come easy to Corgan. His step mother abused him physically and emotionally as a child, and his entire core family was against the idea of him pursuing music. No one expected him to be the biggest rock star on the planet, but that’s exactly what happened. But although he reached his peak of success externally, he was continuously struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts internally. In this video we take a closer look at how Corgan managed to get through his phases of depression and become the person he is today.

[@LieLikesMusic]

What rock band or artist should be next?

[@forthedoggiesguitars2277]

Have you done Metallica?

[@amarillo6685]

Foals ʢȍ ͜ʖȍʡ

[@oscarmullen]

Do joy division or bob dylan next

[@hasanalhaffar3944]

Nick Drake

[@bananacrabman6646]

The Melvins please

[@J.Starkweather]

Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness was a big red flag lol. Having battled Depression for most of my life I could feel and understand the complex emotions that this album was conveying.

[@citrus4419]

Me too. It's one of those funny things where you can really grasp it if you've gone or are going through it lol

[@fallentrash1673]

You know at first I kinda downplayed this album compared to Siamese Dream. Then one thing I noticed what made this album better than SD was.... It's different emotions on each song. Billy can sing about his sadness, his fear, nostalgia, happiness, good memories, bitterness, and the most outstanding emotion I felt on this album is... his anger.

[@mtamech535]

@@fallentrash1673 EX WHY YOU?!

[@juljasmah]

@@mtamech535 such an angy song😾

[@LeftHookLegend]

One of the smartest rockers ever, one of the most creative songwriters ever.

[@eatthem5829]

Naaaahh

[@itsmeagainjohn3054]

Billy Corgan is the king of alternative rock, period.

[@LeftHookLegend]

ItsMeAgain John Along with Thom Yorke

[@UseYourNikesBro]

This is the truth. Also one of the most underrated guitarists of the 90s.

[@TheNorthwestWind]

@@eatthem5829 yeah actuallt. you probably like weezer

[@Andreus9733]

I am so glad and so proud of Billy to overcome his depression. This gives me motivation to overcome my own too

[@priyadarshidash4353]

You can do it 💯💯

[@ricardojmestre]

It's hard. But doable. Find good professionals to help you. A therapist and a psychiatrist if needed. You don't need to fight this alone.

[@Syncopiia]

I got medicated about 2-3 years ago after dealing with depression for over 20 years. For a few months I felt something akin to imposter syndrome. It felt wrong not feeling depressed. It felt weird making fewer dark and suicide jokes, because that's how I coped all those years. But eventually my dark humor came back in a less sad context, I got used to feeling good. I finally feel content, mentally stable, able to get sad and angry without it spiraling out of control. I worried that it would take away my drive to do artistic things, but it's more that I had to reconfigure how I motivated myself to do them. I couldn't rely on a spiral of negative emotions anymore. I have to will myself to do it. But it's all better for it. Don't hesitate to get help, be it meds, therapy, whatever. You'll be surprised how much drive you have to live a good life when the shackles are taken off, and how easy it is to smile.

[@ricochetsixtyten]

just poppin in to say thats the most accurate drawing of billy corgan ive ever seen peace

[@barbdrake5999]

The thumbnail or the stickman

[@portraitsoftracy]

I'm your 100th like

[@vandenbos6401]

Classic case of divorced suburbian household. That was the driving force of 90s rock.

[@Baccanaso]

Boomers

[@mrquake7789]

I see like Nirvana

[@killval849]

@@Baccanaso Generation X was not baby boomers. It's like everyone today thinking anyone and everyone under age 35 is a millenial lol.

[@TheWoodenZozimos]

Killval I think what they meant is that Generation Xs parents are typically baby boomers, and the boomers caused the trauma that fueled gen x’s music

[@thomasbeckley-forest1785]

I thought they lived in Chicago for most of his life

[@ianhalbert2539]

I feel like billy Corgan was a songwriter like no other during the 90s. While a lot of other 90s acts created music that seemed to revel in deep feelings of anger and sadness, it always felt like billy sprinkled bits of hope in his albums. For instance, the album mellon collie and the infinite sadness seems to represent to me a story of someone going through a lifetime of sorrow and anger, but grows to achieve some form of happiness through it all. I believe that is what makes both that album and the band one of the best of the 90s.

[@dzubmariner]

Billy was also technically more sound than most of his time...I'd say he's quite under rated

[@Ninnjette-]

I'm 35 now, but I started listening to the pumpkin's when I was 13. I always looked up to Corgan, he could make magic from nothing.

[@nintend8232]

same experience here.. id never paid much attention to music until I was 13 and they started catching my attention on MTV.. Id never heard anything that expressed such angst and isolation and it completely helped me realize that those feelings can be expressed in transformative and helpful ways instead of just festering. TL;DR Magic Indeed

[@nicks4802]

I poop in Billy's mouth and he called it caviar

[@Ninnjette-]

@@nintend8232 Absolutely! You just got goosebumps listening to it!

[@Ninnjette-]

@@nicks4802 Monkeys have a problem pooping in any hole to. You need to report back to your local zoo.

[@mourningkiss8546]

Totally agree! ❤

[@wingcommander2165]

honestly, "Adore" is one of the most underrated albums ever!!! it takes time to understand it, i hated it at first but it has a beautiful ,warm and ethereal feel to it... I love ADORE

[@magusking9215]

I think the song "For Martha" is an absolute Classic.

[@oompaloompadoompa-de-doo3614]

I liked it right away. Then again I was 9 and it was the second CD I ever owned lol

[@MrAquilina420]

I thought this too. But now only consider it to be half good. Appels and Oranjes is not as profound as it tries to be.

[@jonathanwhitfield2864]

Can't believe he isn't more widely recognized for how talented and creative he is. One of the best songwriters of rock music, easily.

[@yesmamnosir7997]

There’s no way a future rapper or pop artist isn’t gonna sample Tonight Tonight/Today etc

[@oumistula6204]

​@@yesmamnosir7997lil peep literally samples one of pumpkins songs

[@andresserrano4355]

You forgot the part where Corgan saw a reptilian shape shift into a human

[@LieLikesMusic]

Andres Serrano I was blown away when he said that on the Joe Rogan pod. Crazy..

[@mind1media]

Billy Corgan seems to be into a lot of conspiracies now. Chemtrails, global warming denial, it's kinda sad to see... guess he went on Alex Jones show one time too many.

[@juanvaldez5422]

@@mind1media its kinda sad to see people who are so distracted and self absorbed they wont , or cant (?), look around at the world around them, sad really.

[@inphanta]

MiND ONE once was one time too many and he hasn’t been the same person since.

[@Maria-jx4wf]

MiND ONE lol ya he must be a Nazi now

[@yowie_ltglobal2259]

Rule number one , don’t date Courtney love

[@MelissaBeamer-ve3nn]

Right?? He really needs to stay away from her!

[@VanillaMacaron551]

Or, how about: don't date married people, or people who might be in the throes of a relationship breakdown. I bet Corgan took on some heavy guilt over Kurt's death. Corgan had a role in Kurt feeling so shit in the month before Kurt died. It was infuriating on that Rogan pod when Corgan cheekily threw some hints that he might finally say something about that time ... and Rogan was uneducated or unbriefed and didn't realise the significance and just rolled right on to other topics.

[@Anonymous_Eyeballs]

Siamese Dream is still one of my favorite albums of all time

[@pain-qz9kb]

caillou in the thumbnail?

[@harrisonjr98]

another sad poet Hector Salamanca

[@algo6485]

Calliou and Charlie Brown's jelly head butt baby..

[@willemdaenemy]

Baby Man Billy

[@jasmineling9139]

Lol

[@RadsnRems]

Don’t forget Mr. Clean

[@frankrohr41]

That’s not Billy Corgan, that’s a smooth Karl Pilkington.

[@LastOfTheBret]

Not round enough

[@aplaguedoctor406]

I'll never forget the day I listened to "Gish" for the first time all the way through. It was cold and snowing, I went to a guitar lesson and after that met my cousin at her school. She gave me 2 Ecstacy tabs and about 20$ worth of good weed. I immediately swalloed the pills and headed home. Rolled some joints, then a quick shower. When I was done I smoked one of the joints and at this point the Ecstacy hit me real hard. It was like someone kicked me in the head and I started tripping balls. Put on "Gish" and "I Am One" started playing. That opening riff blew me away to lala-land. First song on their first album and it was the best shit I ever heard. Been a fan ever since

[@angelahull9064]

And My Bloody Valentine

[@stompalompa]

I have so much more respect for Billy Corgan and the smashing pumpkins after listening to him in the Joe Rogan podcast. Going to watch them next month in Florence and couldn’t be more excited !! Thanks for the video🤘🏽

[@danielleinlondon6834]

This bring me back to my own teenage years and young adult. His music literally helped me to survive until maturity.

[@matanmeir1283]

It's funny to realize that Smashing Pumpkins are a better band than all of the bands they warmed up at the time

[@Donnyf3841]

Fact

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

Yes

[@ojifididitsimpson]

That’s a wild statement. You love that nasally narcissistic vibe. It’s trash. Alice In Chains, red hot chili peppers. Billy corgan is a bald overweight. Bum. Trash. Just like you.

[@Zombichh]

Billy Corgan is otherworldly talented in every sense of the word.

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

Yes

[@BigJoe2286]

Might be an unpopular opinion, but Adore is personally one of my favorite SP albums

[@nick101984]

Best album to listen to driving on a road trip at night, it's so dark

[@michaeledwards6683]

one of my favorites as well. Not my favorite though because Mellon Collie is king!

[@Mtz2604]

My first album of SP and fell in love with Corgan and the band

[@GroovesAndLands]

I liked Adore when it was new - and my opinion has improved with time. I LOVE that record, now.

[@AltCTRLF8]

the album is good, but it sounds even better live.

[@yaddledapaddle3877]

depression is difficult to deal with, you don't feel better over night.

[@bacht4799]

Yaddle Da paddle all the power to those who need it too get through the darkness they don’t deserve..

[@LieLikesMusic]

Yaddle Da paddle It's true. I was very depressed some years ago. Luckily i managed to get through it. I had many good friends that helped me think of things in a more positive way.

[@yesmamnosir7997]

I’ve dealt with depression since an early age and in my mid-20s it got rlly bad. I’m 32 now and I still don’t feel like getting outta bed some days.

[@echoastronaut7762]

Failed to mention Gish was the biggest selling independent album of that time

[@azalago]

I think this is a drastically simplistic look at Corgan's mental health issues. Corgan has always been extremely paranoid and thin-skinned, and abusive when he felt slighted. He's said many things that contradict each other completely, especially things that he appears to say to "shock" the listener (such as saying "every morning I wake up and I ask myself, should I eat breakfast or kill mysef?") He absolutely has some deep-seated personality issues, his behavior today is quite similar to 20 years ago. I don't think he's ever really dealt with his problems.

[@Rairun1]

Yep. For a moment there (early Zwan era), it looked like he was about to come to terms with a lot of shit that was done to him. He seemed to be making an effort towards being a more grounded person, instead of chasing success and acclaim as a way to be loved and valued. His lyrics had always been brutally honest about the pain, mixed with a will and hope to survive against all odds. But for the first time with Zwan, that transformation, that seemingly impossible path to a kinder acceptance of one's own trauma, began to take shape in a realistic, human-sized way. For a moment there, I honestly thought he was going to make it. Ultimately, he alienated his band members, lashed out against his audience, and fell back into older defensive/abusive patterns. He became bitter and reactionary. I think a lot of his older fans today are quite hurt about the person he has become - because honestly, a lot of us had a traumatic childhood too. A lot of us were abused. We never wanted him to rehearse that overwhelming pain forever; the biggest "betrayal", if you allow me to be dramatic, was to see him, a person who was just like us, failing again and again not to let his survival instincts turn him into an abuser himself. There are so many anecdotes, from so many people over the years, about how emotionally manipulative he can be. I know it comes from a place of hurt, but there comes a time when you have to reckon with the hurt you yourself are causing, with the pain you are inflicting because you never learned how to deal with your own pain. He had a lot of queer fans, many of whom felt just as isolated and different and rejected as he did; and it was honestly painful to see him go on an incredibly violent tirade against a trans woman he had issues with, calling her an ugly pig, misgendering her on purpose, threatening to "knock [her] fucking lights out" and to sue her into oblivion. Meanwhile, he has aligned himself politically with the very people who want to see marginalized groups obliterated. His music has suffered, and he just doesn't know how to be anything other than a bitter old man, with little empathy or kindness in his heart. He did not transition into "a knowledgeable and peaceful person". He is a 52-year-old man now; as the years go by, it is safer and safer to say that his formative experiences simply broke him. I wish this weren't true. I really looked up to him as a kid, and I believed in him as a fellow human being. I don't think I do anymore.

[@azalago]

@@Rairun1 Nevermind the fact that he's an anti-vaxxer.

[@brandonedgerarities1462]

Yeah there’s definitely a lot more to the story than you get in this video. Like a lot of people, the things that gave him the strength to overcome the abuse and turmoil of his childhood and become successful, also played a big part in the things that went wrong etc. anyway, One of the best song writers ever, and a criminally underrated guitar player. He kind of has This in common with Hendrix in that The playing that you hear on the albums Was kind of understated or not flashy on purpose, as Supposed to say an artist like van Halen for instance Who was always showing off at every turn

[@brandonedgerarities1462]

Opposed not supposed. Won’t let me edit LOL

[@rooish574]

@@Rairun1 this is the best comment on the internet

[@nateblack8669]

Adore always has been and always will be my number one favorite Pumpkins album.

[@benbrennan4953]

Mine is Siamese too. Adore was actually played on an automatic drum machine without jimmy!

[@DrunkDuckXD]

I actually like Machina as my favorite. But Adore is a very very underrated album.

[@nateblack8669]

@Jules Winnfield Yeah, the toss up between the two is difficult, imo. But I have way more memories attached to Adore than Siamese Dream, and Adore came out when I was an adolescent interested in making music myself. I already loved the Pumpkins, but Adore's timing was just perfect for me, and I actually loved that it was different and not much of a rock album at all.

[@nateblack8669]

@@DrunkDuckXD Indeed. Machina itself is an underrated album, but Machina II was better, imo. That had Dross and Crash Car Star on it; it was basically Machina b-sides.

[@DrunkDuckXD]

@@nateblack8669 Yeah Machina II was good even thought it did seem like Machina B-sides. I like those songs. Speed Kills, Real Love, Vanity and Here's To The Atom Bomb stand out for me. Funny story about Machina II. Billy released the whole album (about 25 songs) for free online. But only to a select few of people who had specific instructions for the way they were suppose to upload it. Of course, almost everyone did not follow the instructions properly and that's why the correct order which the songs should be played in is kind of debated. It was also suppose to be their last record.

[@miguelgracia8184]

Understanding Jerry Cantrell's role in AIC

[@BillyBob-il4gy]

1:09 I almost joined his band when he was in Saint Petersburg. (The Marked) we all had birthmarks on our body. They broke up right before my audition and then he decided to book it to Chicago.

[@stella-vu8vh]

What a jerk off

[@citrus4419]

nooo billy bob 😢

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

Wow what a cool anecdote. Have you read his Confessions?

[@TheJimmyikki]

Smashing Pumpkins is my favorite band, Billy may never know but he helped me in the darkest phase of my life, and no other band can take it's place in my heart. And for those who don't know Billy's recent works, there's one song called "Half-Life Of An Autodidact" from his solo album 'Ogilala', where he talk about that he took 40 years to learn what truly love is, this album is simply beautiful, go take a look at it. I don't know if happiness is a thing in this life, but this man definitely deserve peace and love.

[@TheJimmyikki]

@Nathan Strudthoff Yeah, I did, it's amazing, that story based in the Orion myth is beautiful, that end with the song "Archer" is just perfect. I watch that film time to time, or when I want to hear the full album, instead of put playlist, I put the Pillbox xD

[@nesfan8]

90's Pumpkins is the best band at their prime ever !

[@mpactdesignmedia]

Saw them twice over the past year - they're pretty damn close to STILL being one of the best bands ever - regardless of era. Damn sure one of the best live bands.

[@transamination]

Yeah I have to say, watching some of their live shows on here from the Siamese Dream and Melon Collie tours, they were incredible live at their peak.

[@dedchicagolivememories7832]

I got to see them at the tail end of their prime. It was insanely good. Cannot express how powerful Corgan's presence was at that time. Earth shattering.

[@GroovesAndLands]

@@dedchicagolivememories7832 I saw SP at an amazing venue (Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor) in 2000. It was incredible.

[@James-op3vx]

because they are

[@ThestuffthatSaralikes]

Melancholy… was one album that made me realize I wasn’t broken. Just a lil dented… in the late 90s depression wasn’t talked about, especially in teen girls. The Pumpkins helped me through high school.

[@lynnmontejo6917]

I'm here because it's Billy's birthday. Happy birthday! 💕

[@clouseaux]

Ummm ....Gish was the highest selling alternative/indie record of all time up to that point. Still a good vid ☆♡

[@FrenchOysters]

clouseaux114 Highest selling independent* record

[@topo161]

@@FrenchOysters Isn't indie just an abbreviation of independent

[@eamonjosephus]

that snare sound

[@nclsrfn]

@@eamonjosephus The Butch Vig's "filled-with-blood"[cit.] drum sound

[@mtl18]

@@nclsrfn That was ALL Jimmy. Butch had very little to do with that. You could place 1 SM 57 in front of his kit, hit record, and get 95% of that sound. He was and is still just a great player.

[@jstarr7506]

Thanks I always wanted to understand Billy Corgan's Depression

[@CyanideOfficialMusic06]

Haha

[@Kats072307]

Adore was one of my first albums and definitely the one who made me love them. Thanks for the video

[@EteSiuleems]

Could you do black sabbath or misfits, please?

[@138DeadBoy]

Danzig era only

[@EteSiuleems]

@@138DeadBoy yeah, walk among us is awesome

[@138DeadBoy]

@@EteSiuleems Earth AD, Static Age, Collection 1, Collection 2. (totally not my favorite band lol)

[@EteSiuleems]

@@138DeadBoy i like famous monsters the most tbh. I know danzig is not in there but still

[@imbetter599]

@@138DeadBoy I love walk among us But my favorite from static age is spinal remains

[@RCAvhstape]

King Crimson is a band that we all could use help understanding.

[@IzZyRaWr]

Understanding King Crimson requires Discipline. ;P

[@asolarasolarasolar]

I needed this. Thank you a lot. Corgan sang our sadness and happiness. He sings our lifes and in the process, saved mine.

[@LieLikesMusic]

Gabriel Quezada No problem. I just love sharing this story. And hopefully someone will feel less alone. And less depressed.

[@asolarasolarasolar]

@@LieLikesMusic Thanks again, mate. Much love from Chile ;)

[@Catdragon7477]

I love Billy Corgan. Genius.

[@opiateexperiment2022]

Do STP next..Scott weiland was a very interesting person

[@memyopinionsche6610]

And yes. Smashing Pumpkins dose pull off that wall of guitar sound live. Truly amazing. But I was talking to a friend of mine and he was a big grunge fan. And we both realized after the passing of Chris Cornell. Both Smashing Pumpkins and Pearl Jam are the only bands left intact and survived the grunge explosions of the 90s. Sad but true.

[@tymanning2832]

Me my opinion Sche Alice In Chains is still kicking it.

[@palmerbiddle2033]

Ty Manning layne and mike are dead dude

[@backsliders]

Me my opinion Sche mudhoney, as well

[@piperio]

Man, I love Billy - and his art.

[@XChristianNoirX]

Gish was one of the first Alternative albums to go gold and paved the way for Nirvana. Just because it didn't go into the top 10 and go platinum doesn't mean it was not successful. In fact, it was the spark/platform/link that launched pretty much everyone else in the mid 90's. Gish allowed Butch Vig's career to take off into the stratosphere, and without it, there probably would have never been much Nirvana past Bleach... Hell, most of us would not have ever heard of Bleach... Oh.. And Garbage... Or Republica for that matter.. Or hole.. Or.. Maybe even Seattle. These were all great bands and a music scene in their own right, but they would have never gotten any attention from the industry without the success of Gish... A quirky album that managed to miraculously sell over 500,000 copies and give Butch Vig enough clout to catapult Nirvana into the mainstream. While many of us live Bleach, if Nirvana had continued down the same path, it wouldn't have changed the world. Vig harnessed it into a product digestable for the masses, and his new stature in the business gave Nervermind the ticket it needed to make it. That's not to disparage Nirvana as not amazing in-itself whatsoever. But that's the family tree of fate right there. Gish, from Wikipedia: "The album was certified gold on March 14, 1994. Until the release of The Offspring album Smash in 1994, Gish was the highest-selling independently released album of all time."

[@VanillaMacaron551]

Well said, thanks.

[@ProvenParadox]

I'm going to keep watching because the primary thing I come to this channel for is audio based, but I *do not like* the new animation style. It looks amateur and out of place. The photos with simple animations on previous videos were basic, but I think they fit with the aesthetic of a lot of other media around music. This just... looked bad, IMO.

[@chaoticfirearm]

Big agree. The audio side of the channel is basically perfect, but most if not ALL of the animation stuff that he does is basically unbearable to watch and super out of place.

[@LieLikesMusic]

ProvenParadox I get that lol. This is my 4th day of learning 2d animation. But my goal is to get better with every video. 2D animation will stay.

[@ProvenParadox]

@@LieLikesMusic Hey, good luck then. I hope you enjoy it. In the meantime I'm still going to engage with this like a short podcast.

[@Cereal421]

Personally I find the juxtaposition of the serious narration and lousy visuals hilarious. I enjoyed it.

[@CunningCondor]

@@LieLikesMusic While I don't have access to animation software at the moment, if you need a cartoonist, I'd probably be interested in tryin somethin out.

[@rudolfsterauds2548]

I would love Slint or HaNL

[@concars1234]

+1 for Have a Nice Life. They're the most depressing sounding band ever but who they are IRL is very different

[@ict113090]

I’d still rather have him as a band mate than Axl Rose

[@Mizzaelin]

Please, make a The Strokes' or a Julian Casablancas' one

[@michumomo]

Mizzaelin seconded!

[@pstrokeslibsarctic]

Pretty much rich boy with good taste

[@Mizzaelin]

But also talented

[@haydenfield656]

pmellow just because he was wealthy growing up doesn’t mean you can sum his life up in seven words.

[@wtfemtf]

He already did

[@projecticeman365]

Sad to say there is A LOT of inaccuracies...

[@mrvinyl.]

UNDERSTANDING BEASTIE BOYS

[@magidal5421]

Andrew McFarlane madvillain!

[@sobo2001]

mtv played videos from Gish. So minor success? maybe, but back then, If you got a song on mtv from your first album, I think it was pretty good.

[@TheNorthwestWind]

amen

[@kristopherryanwatson]

back then Gish was in no way a minor success. it was the highest selling independent album when it came out that year, until Nirvana's Nevermind album came out a few months later.

[@DanksSativa]

I have more info on Billy's depression. Billy finally acheived success with Gish. Courtney love was a big scene girl, she needed a man to take her to the top and thet became a couple. They were going to be Cid and Nancy. Then Nirvana started getting big and Courtney seen more potetial in Kurt and dumped Billy for Kurt. Nirvana blew up and Kurt pretty much got his girl and nervermind made Gish irrelevant. Imagine that? In interviews Billy said he was suicidal because of this. Siamese dream was him coming out of this depression, specifically songs like Today. When Kurt was quitting grunge Courtney realized Nirvana was done and Kurt was a lost cause, he hated the fame Courtney craved. Courtney was cheating on Kurt, most likely with Billy Corgan but was married at the time. Kurt found out about this and was divorcing Courtney. That would have ruined her so instead she had her husband killed and used the sympathy and notoriety from being akurts wife to promote her new album and her band blew up. Courtney and Billy were together for a bit during lollapaluza right after Kurt died and headlined the events Kurt dropped out of. Both their bands blew up after Kurts death. With Nirvana out of the way they stepped into the spotlight and became world famous. Meloncholy and the infinate sadness was a phenomenon. I bet Billy resents Kurt but probably feels so guilty about his affair with Courtney. Billy Corgan interview- “The Smashing Pumpkins had put out one album, which was very successful, but as we were out promoting our album, the Nirvana album came out, and as everyone knows ‘Nevermind’ was a massive album, and then Pearl Jam came out too at that time, and they were massive,” he told Amy Jo Martin’s ‘Why Not Now’ podcast. “So within a short span of time I went from thinking I was very successful within my given field, to all the rules had changed in my given field. Everything I had built myself up to be and do was no longer as relevant as it needed to be. I went into a very strange depression because I felt like something had been not taken, but the change made me feel kind of inadequate in a way I wasn’t prepared for.” He continued: “I went through a very long depression where I could not write songs, and really struggled for a breakthrough, which I’ve talked about a few times. It really came off the heels of like a suicidal depression, I just really struggled with the emotions I was feeling. I reached this kind of morning in my life where it was like I’m either going to jump out a window, or I was going to change my life. I know that sounds very dramatic, but that’s literally what happened.” Corgan then revealed how his state of mind helped inspire the song ‘Today’ from their breakthrough second album, ‘Siamese Dream’. “I woke up one morning, and I kind of stared out the window and thought, ‘Okay, well, if you’re not going to jump out the window, you better do whatever it is you need to do’,” he said. “That morning I wrote, I think it was the song Today,’which people would probably be fairly familiar with, it’s the ice cream truck video song. It’s sort of a wry observation on suicide, but in essence the meditation behind the lyric is that every day is the best day, if you let it be. Courtney Love interview- Courtney Love's life will forever be intertwined with late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. However, before she became involved with the 'voice of a generation,' she had dated Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins. In an extended interview clip (video below) from the Cobain documentary Montage of Heck, Love explains why she left Corgan for Cobain all those years ago. To establish a base, Love was first asked, "When you were younger, what was your idea of Prince Charming?" The singer responded, "Before I was sexually active I was hanging around with rock stars. I had a huge crush on the first one that mentored me, his name is Julian Cope, he's been forgotten by history pretty much - he was part of that Liverpool Echo and the Bunnymen scene, there was a scene, there was a moment there - when I got out of juvenile hall, which was mixed sexes, it was co-ed. I'd been sequestered in all girl boarding schools and the I was in a mixed co-ed juvenile hall. None of the stoner guys appealed to me." As for Cobain, Love was questioned about her bitterness towards the Nirvana frontman's success as he had become an icon while she was pregnant and on the cusp of her own musical breakthrough. "I coveted his success that was so fast," she began, continuing, "Not initially, I was really really really really really excited for them. When we were still platonic, I was on the ferry, Billy Corgan would not pay for my flight back from Roskilde, and Nirvana had played with the [Smashing] Pumpkins at that show, so I was on the ferry with the Nirvana guys." Here, Love revealed her admiration for the Nirvana frontman, stating, "I had a crush on Kurt, he was gorgeous, I mean he was beautiful and enigmatic and evasive. This was after Reading, but I still was dating and sleeping with Billy Corgan, but he kind of lost me at this moment, this wasn’t the moment that he specifically lost me, that would be about 6 to 8 months later, but he kind of lost me at this moment."

[@pissbaby7306]

Lynx Alexandra billy corgan has said very good things about kurt cobain

[@DanksSativa]

@@pissbaby7306 I don't think he had anything against Kurt personally, it was just the situation of Courtney leaving him for Kurt and all the success they were having the he wasn't a part of. Courtney was cheating on Kurt with Billy most likely and cheating is one of the reasons Kurt was divorcing Courtney. If Kurt divorced her for cheating it would have destroyed her reputation and career. There was a lot of money at stake and a divorce was the opposite of Courtneys plans of using a rockstar to get her career going. If Billy ever comes forward and exposes his affair with Courtney that would add solid motive for murder and they would have to reopen the case. Courtney needs to be investigated and Kurt's name cleared. I was a huge fan of Nirvana and Smashing pumpkins growing up so I have done a lot of research on this subject

[@siriusfun]

She was involved with Trent Reznor around the time of Cobain's death, not Corgan. They connected again around writing for Hole.

[@jasonmcmillan4373]

What a great video. Billy the survivor. Along with Eddie, one of the few frontmen from the biggest bands of the era that is still fighting the beautiful struggle that is life.

[@cornholio47]

Billy would be dead had he stayed with courtney

[@tenochtitilian]

He does seem in a better place with more recent interviews. Reading past interviews, he used to be really upset with negative album reviews, which suggests he was still seeking external validation due to a lack of emotional nurturance in childhood

[@ldahui]

Good video, but I think it would have been nice to mention Corgan's Zwan phase.

[@bigguy1164]

I think I would rather forget that.

[@chocomanger6873]

Well, if you're going to go there, then why not his solo album too?

[@sliceyourdice7680]

Underrated album/band, he said he had enough songs that were done from that time where they could have a sophomore album soon

[@naughtymonkey1563]

I think most Smashing Pumpkins fans would rather it wasn't mentioned ;)

[@Celicagame13]

Zwans album was great, too bad they didn’t last

[@Br010B]

"Today" has always meant so much to me.

[@matthewackermanaski9687]

Also right early on his career when the Pumpkins were still needed to come to life, Billy played session with a band called Deep Blue Dream, in which there was a guy called Wayne Richard Wells, AKA Wayne Static (RIP), which years later would form the Industrial band Static-X.

[@kommissar.murphy]

That drawing looks more like Karl Pilkington, lol.

[@manuelkenzelmann4643]

Quite well done. Your animations are sweet. I like it. I actually saw all the Interviews you are quoting from, and I must say you did a good job. One who really loves the pumpkins can only understand another one who loves them. No one can enter into this very intimate experience and all words and concepts used to explain it would be an offense to this divine celebration of the truth of life that manifested on this earthly plain through the members of the smashing pumpkins in form of music. So that you spoke about the pumpkins in this way is quite acceptable! Thank you

[@fr3ddytv3]

Please do Death From Above, Sunny Day Real Estate, Oasis, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington

[@kokomanation]

An inspiration for all of us abused creative people.

[@memyopinionsche6610]

And the new album the shiny and oh so bright from smashing pumpkins is really good.

[@tymanning2832]

Me my opinion Sche Silvery Sometimes is amazing

[@renapeppers20]

Those first 3 SP records are amazing. Billie Corgan is a fantastic songwriter.

[@corycastleman6351]

First 5*

[@AltCTRLF8]

Cory Castleman *first 6. gish, SD, pisces, MCIS, adore, machina

[@corycastleman6351]

Pisces Iscariot is great. Though it's more of a collection of unreleased songs/b sides

[@adriaanvanberge1232]

When listing their influences you forgot The Pixies who Corgan has said he modeled his sound from. Nice job though and keep em coming!

[@chartmark1]

Well made! Very thoughtful and useful in helping fathom the depth of a deep mind: a living (thank God) genius....

[@moxfulder8869]

i love the pumpkins man ,siamese dream is one if the best records ever written. would love to see a video on Hum

[@AnotherWorldYT]

okay but COMPLETELY underlying jimmys influence on literally shaping the bigger half of the groove/feel of the band.

[@Britton_Thompson]

Try not to blow out the budget on animation for the next video, guys. Pace yourselves.

[@xxtool420xx]

I love playing Rhinoceros on guitar.

[@Elite91]

Gish was not a “minor success”. At the time it was the highest selling independent record of all time. What warped the gravity around them was the release of Nevermind just a few months later.

[@randafrasta7270]

Hey where's "Understanding Damon Albarn"?

[@UkeofCarl]

I love the graphics in this. Please don’t take the haters comments too personally.

[@oscarman10001]

Give Billy a question and he will give you an answer. This video was great

[@SupermanNew52]

My favorite band of all time. I was 12 when Siamese Dream was released, and it's still amazing every time I listen to it.

[@willinactive]

I've been waiting for this episode for a while. Loved it

[@woofwoof9819]

Please do Alice In Chains such a great band

[@wes1]

I'm digging this new video style editing! Nice/10

[@wes1]

Like the visuals feel more cute, natural and real. very personal.

[@satevo462]

As some one that has played guitar since I was 9 years old, I've always wanted to be successful, I've NEVER wanted to be famous. Fame sounds truly awful yet so many people crave it. I will never understand why. I guess it's the kind of greedy, shallow, insecure goals capitalism imprints in all of us. We crave to be above other people, instead of united with them. Which is why fame is so lonely. Why would anyone want that?

[@boxelder9147]

I dont get it either. I'd love to be really good at something but the idea of being famous for it is not appealing

[@blicharski8249]

you did billy so dirty with the thumbnail lmfao

[@lomieblum3583]

Johnny Lydon (or Rotten)

[@ianclarito]

thanks for video! new format is good for me - it makes things more interesting than just splattering photos we may have seen before

[@werewally3156]

Hmmmm knowing about his moms puts the song "disarm" in perspective.

[@Someguyy867]

And billy corgan has made another album.

[@Syncopiia]

I actually really like their new songs. Anaise is one of my all time favorites.

[@jasonbailey9139]

Loved the animation

[@LieLikesMusic]

Jason Bailey Thanks. I'm still new to doing animation tho. So it will get better.

[@inphanta]

Corgan’s trajectory has been interesting. When laid out like this, you see him not as a rock star but as a human being trying his best with what he has, just like the rest of us. The music of his later years doesn’t really appeal to me (neither do some of his views which I find incredibly unsavoury), but I can appreciate his growth as a person in a holistic sense.

[@itchynerve]

They had the best indie album debut of all time

[@mosesappleby4357]

I know no one asked nor will many agree but my ranking of their albums go 10.Monuments of elergy 9.Oceania 8.Shiny and oh so bright 7.Cyr- from what I've heard so far. 6.Zeitgeist 5.Adore 4.Machina/The machines of God. 3.Gish 2.Mellon collie and the infinite sadness 1.Siamese dream

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

It's between SD and MCIS for me. Then comes GISH, Adore and Machina

[@coopdawg7203]

It’s like if it took the best from the eighties and nineties and put it in a blender it’s melancholy, you’d get smashing pumpkins. Love this band

[@DrunkDuckXD]

Great video. Smashing Pumpkins is my favorite band. The amount of emotion and depth in the lyrics and melodies are astounding. One point on Billy's amazing musical ability too, Billy said he took a musical aptitude test in school and scored genius levels, the prospector made him take the test again and scored even higher. However when offered a spot in the school his father said no. I am very glad he choose a career in music. Listen to the song Sunkissed for a softer sound, and maybe Everlasting Gaze for something heavier.

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

SP has something very unique. There's nothing like it.

[@MusicTeacherGuyNorristown]

He started out in Chicago, moved to Florida to been in a band called The Marked, and then moved back home.

[@mrclaytron]

Great video. Billy Corgan is a really interesting guy, and was such a big part of the 90s sound. I'd love to see a video on Massive Attack. I think Mezzanine is one of the greatest albums ever produced.

[@jeremychamplin1078]

When I am featured on Lie Like Music - "No one expected him to be the biggest rock star on the planet, and he never was."

[@MrEvilGrin]

Good video, but it still doesn't explain why Billy got into Pro Wrestling.

[@Morgan.iiiviix]

I enjoy the pumpkins' music... I'm not a hardcore fan, I don't know every song, and I don't own every album but I love the Following songs: Ava Adore, Pug, Eye, Daphne Descends, Today, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Tarantula, Doomsday Clock, Anaise, The Celestials, Everlasting Gaze, Solaris, Anti-hero, Drum and Fife, Tiberius, Bring the Light, Zero, Disarm, GLOW, Bodies.

[@ukkovuorela4196]

1979? Cherub rock?

[@Morgan.iiiviix]

@@ukkovuorela4196 yup, 1979 and Perfect..😉

[@ukkovuorela4196]

@@Morgan.iiiviix perfect indeed

[@stevebrignoni5254]

Soma, Best solo ever written.

[@xxcrysad3000xx]

I am loving these animations. Great work!

[@jeremycockson2188]

Do a Depeche Mode one

[@brianhartline7511]

Why does everyone think talking about your issues make things better ... it doesn't. Every problem I ve talked about stayed the same no better no worse. Then I'm not the type of person who'll lie to someone in bad condition and tell them it's gonna get better.sobriety doesn't matter either. No better no worse.

[@deannilvalli6579]

Nice video. Informative. And go Billy Corgan! Good for him for doing his own thing and rising above the crowd of nay-sayers by trusting his own feelings.

[@sirsurfpsycho]

everything smashing pumpkins seems so alien. i love it.