Unhealthy Relationships

“She’s completely manipulated you into thinking you deserve this.”
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Brittany Ashley
@britt27ash
Allison Miller
Instagram: @lilistbyr
VIDEO
Film Footage courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
Used with Permission

[@delilah277]

I like the fact that they showed that abuse has no gender, sexuality or culture. Anyone can be abusive regardless of your race, gender, sexuality or culture. It's a people thing.

[@SonGoku-rp6ct]

Ur right

[@55cardsofFury]

But yet people never bat an eye when women abuse men.

[@delilah277]

Which is very true

[@delilah277]

55cardsofFury or even when a woman abuses another woman like buzzfeed gave us an example of. Abuse comes in many forms, emotional abuse, mental abuse (which is quite similar), physical abuse, sexual abuse and economic abuse. People mainly look at Physical abuse without considering other factors.

[@dgafbakar]

0

[@taylorstewart7723]

10:59 “she’s abusive” “she’s never hit me” “she doesn’t have to” wow that hit me real hard. always remember those words. it could help you get out of an abusive relationship.

[@unagavin2209]

taylor flipping stewart omg I was reading this while they said it 😂

[@nw_that_shuld_be_celebrate2322]

taylor flipping stewart Wow i'm getting this now. Didn't understand it in the video. you're so right.

[@emw5]

taylor flipping stewart That one hit me hard too. For once in my life I thought I was in a healthy relationship... I don't think I know what love is...

[@muddigutz]

that quote reminds me a lot of my parents

[@lilyharp2286]

taylor flipping stewart that's beautiful

[@ashleighbates2756]

I love the fact that there is the comparison of a healthy relationship that is having a few struggles as well, as it shows that it's not the difficulties that break a relationship, its how you overcome them together

[@kajnxnd8994]

Hiii

[@aayushivora8814]

The hardest part is accepting that you are/were in a toxic and abusive relationship. It's hard to believe that you let yourself be treated like that it just feels like you let yourself down

[@sophiatags]

Never been so related to a comment :/

[@babyelephant3345]

Exactly. Thnx for letting me know im not the only one

[@azilassegaf7989]

@@sophiatags q

[@tobi-ir7oq]

THE GIRLS:18+ ARE SUZUKA.UNO THREE IN ONE KZbin: THIS IS FINE. SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. KZbin: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.

[@KRYMauL]

Especially when a guy does it to two people and convinces them both that they hate each other.

[@emiliavongutez968]

it's pretty scary how a lot of people here can't seem to detect any abuse in the lesbian relationship

[@sech-mash]

Emily L. I can't see the abuse in the lesbian one

[@nootnoot4510]

Emily L. It is tho :(

[@Highabovemexo]

Breezei Ookami woah waitvwhat

[@atherel947]

(I FORGOT THE NAMES) THE blond girl in the lesbian relationship is manipulating the other, and overprotecting her. The brunette is nervous and self concious.

[@brandonjenkins3785]

+Sarah Pari Polchachi THE same time the best of my own business and we are going into my own personal information on my way back from Io with a oo

[@ang3339]

"Does she always treat you like that?" "Like what?" Okay, that said it all.

[@nathanburke420]

This is why Unwanted is so good.

[@kitaotao_mps4974]

hhh

[@kitaotao_mps4974]

@Lady Destiny iiko

[@ShahbazAli-fw2lk]

U gtxbi

[@xanderlopez7560]

Yes

[@eclipsella222]

i remember watching this video when i was maybe 12 and never understood how it was abusive..4 years later and i had to learn the hard way and it makes me sick that i was treated so belittled

[@wbennin]

Don't let yourself continue the abuse. I get down on myself every so often for being foolish enough to be so fooled. But we have to forgive ourselves and move on with our lives. We're not the ones who did the bad thing; opening ourselves up, giving someone a chance, and offering our love to them. They are the ones who did the bad thing by taking advantage of us.

[@eclipsella222]

@@wbennin thank you

[@pinklov4447]

omg same

[@carolstelephonetree165]

i feel bad for that guy just being put right in the middle of an abuse triangle

[@minniemaus2902]

Were is that an abuse triangle?

[@salvetre3966]

@@minniemaus2902 dude thats thé point of this video

[@minniemaus2902]

@@salvetre3966 it's not an abuse triangle, it's an abusive relationship

[@zedclient4059]

Hi

[@netanyax2740]

@@minniemaus2902 The abusive gf was using the other girl to control her gf emotionally. It's called triangulation!

[@rosesivan1140]

*"she's abusive"* *"she never hit me"* *"she doesn't have to"* That hurt right in the feels

[@tiadaniels3356]

Rose stilinski i want to highlight this commennntttt

[@hehe-il2jg]

1000 like

[@publicunknown]

Yesss

[@ezraschiferli2844]

Rose sivan i know a troye sivan fan when i see one ayyeee guurrll

[@anxiety_disaster]

Rose sivan I feel like I may have been in a similar situation. I was with someone who make me feel like everything I did or didn't do was wrong or stupid, and he acted more that way in public, but in person he was completely different and it confused me so much. It's hard being in relationships now because I don't know right from wrong.

[@JohnHoulgate]

I noticed at the end how the abuser was all happy and everything was cool with her while her girlfriend was miserable.

[@noodle253242]

So practical and sad that it is. They don't care how their actions have affected the other person and are so self absorbed

[@tinah6132]

That because as long as she stays quiet everythings alright. If she starts to talk then it suddenly looks like shes flirting. Or saying something wrong.

[@lavellans]

That is because she knew that her GF was mad and was likely talked to by her best friend. It is a cycle of abuse part called "the honeymoon" where an abuser will go back to being the perfect bubbly friend and pretend that everything is okay... it disarms the person abused and keeps them from leaving. Until the cycle starts again :(

[@noodle253242]

@@lavellans I'm really glad you said that cause it made me realize my bfs actions lately I've been struggling to stay in our relationship because he seems to be emotionally and verbally abusive and then apologizes and everything seems to be normal until it's not again and it starts all over

[@lavellans]

@@noodle253242 I am glad it has helped you I would look up "the cycle of abuse". Google images shows a lot of simple type graphs that are easy to understand. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, and you deserve better. The important thing to remember is that you are not a bad person for wanting better for yourself. I would recommend connecting with trusted friends, family, and planning steps ahead. Even if it seems daunting, remember that you are not alone and there are resources to help you.

[@bee1411]

This video hit me so hard, my ex was just like this girl, so subtle to me but so obvious to everyone else. Loved this though, the emotion was spot on.

[@callhimcurly7466]

I hope you're better now

[@akmed2trappy]

Shut up

[@callhimcurly7466]

@@akmed2trappy mate you good?

[@bee1411]

@Daytona_devil He’s just trolling, I just ignore them lmao. Best thing to do, they get their jolly’s from shitting on people.

[@akmed2trappy]

@@bee1411 when?

[@MrPaulosophy]

There's literally nothing less attractive than jealousy.

[@tobi-ir7oq]

THE GIRLS:18+ ARE SUZUKA.UNO THREE IN ONE KZbin: THIS IS FINE. SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. KZbin: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.

[@colinm.4052]

I expected this to be the cliche abusive boyfriend to be honest- well done

[@ashlyncarrillo3982]

same

[@YazlingOfficial]

Rhjtchrrrtgery. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@noxkoimax356]

Egg P only redeeming fact of this tbh

[@haileymerk7]

Istar Warsame - The Valleys Sr PS (1354) it’s not even that high up yet

[@Sage-cg4po]

Ikr

[@kyrarichardson4130]

"She's abusive." "She's never hit me." "She doesn't have to." Damn... Remember that.

[@thanksforwearegoingonadate1021]

Kyra Richardson

[@OmaraDuke]

hii

[@xanthewalker3159]

That was my favourite part of the video because I've exchanged those words with my brother when he was trying to make me realise my relationship was abusive

[@Alana-gb1rd]

Kyra Richardson I wish I would've realized that in my last relationship. It was abusive and I didn't even know it cause I only thought abuse was physical

[@annhz08]

Damn that hits hard

[@cassidym7216]

i come back to this video year after year. it remains one of the most impactful short films ive ever watched.

[@joiskyhigh]

The acting and writing is really really good in this. Like, better than most movies.

[@piaschlomer8630]

Yes

[@Sam-zz7gs]

Huh? What kind of movies have you seen

[@maggotst.pierre2361]

@@Sam-zz7gs obviously shite

[@Van00007]

🧢

[@user-eb2rk2eu5b]

روع

[@possiblykennymcormick7311]

I really like that you gave an example of a healthy, communicative relationship as well as an abusive one, so the impact of the abusive relationship is stronger.

[@helloclaurice7658]

Yay Turtle underrated comment

[@jonathanmelhuish4530]

Well, a little more subtle than that... the guy actually has some unhealthy habits but seems to change his behaviour when his girlfriend calls it out, which is awesome.

[@samb3209]

Jonathan Melhuish thank you for pointing that out yes!

[@marlondevibar3041]

@@samb3209 the girl is beauty you know

[@BeanieGinger]

Honestly love the guy. He tried so hard to keep the peace most of the time.

[@vikas.1665]

He’s pretty cute

[@Firsona]

I think you missed an undertone there as well. Might wanna watch it again ^^;

[@TheCrimson147]

what undertone?

[@BeanieGinger]

I guess I got the idea that the argument between the guy and the girl was supposed to be representative of a normal problem to have in a relationship, sort of to compare to the abusive relationship.

[@Archemel]

Beanie Ginger he might not have been as hostile as the abusive girlfriend, but when Ali brought up a concern and told basically that he hurt her feelings by blaming her for not coming, he continued to blame Ali saying, "I didn't think it would he a big deal. You're freaking out about it." Again, somewhat blaming Ali for a legitimate thing she was upset about, instead of saying something like, "I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I'm sorry." Acknowledging his own mistake and taking responsibility for it, and apologising for it. No relationship is going to be perfect, but it needs to be filled with open communication. So Ryan and Ali were probably a little "better" on the relationship spectrum, but his lack of active listening when Ali opened up to him, and his reluctance to accept his mistake is a little. Eh.

[@hailey3934]

When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable. ❤️❤️

[@user-tt3jv5iv3j]

😉😘🍌

[@marinamai5504]

Why does every body writes that?

[@ninafea7462]

@@marinamai5504 because the rest are bots with an inappropriate profile pic 😂

[@hailey3934]

why these bots all up in my comment

[@tobi-ir7oq]

THE GIRLS:18+ ARE SUZUKA.UNO THREE IN ONE KZbin: THIS IS FINE. SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. KZbin: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.

[@patriciaobreja5549]

Thank you for raising awareness about abusive relationships and especially the emotional type of abuse!

[@tobi-ir7oq]

THE GIRLS:18+ ARE SUZUKA.UNO THREE IN ONE KZbin: THIS IS FINE. SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. KZbin: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.

[@mdyousufali2717]

@@tobi-ir7oq me hfrt byh

[@laurynh.603]

"She's abusive." "She never hits me." "She doesn't have to." That brought tears to my eyes. I think I just realized my relationship isn't healthy at all.

[@555puff]

I've been there girl. Verbal/emotional abuse is just as bad or even worse than physical. Hope everything works out and you find someone who treats you how you should be treated.

[@kindlelynch1854]

Hey I hope you are okay and everything works out!

[@laurynh.603]

Emily Christine thank you😊 I hope everything works out too. But maybe it's my fault. Ya see, I'm a virgin and he's not. He makes me feel like I'm a disappointment or I'm just not enough for him. Maybe if I lose it, things will get better

[@laurynh.603]

***** aww thanks babes😊

[@Hyuttah]

i've been there girl..

[@giavictoria9381]

“She’s abusive” “She’s never hit me” “She doesn’t have to...” So powerful, deep, and moving

[@glowingforthe1654]

SilentAuthor655321 3:20 had me shook. My gf basically said that the other day

[@oompaloompaz794]

Yall im the only one here who didnt get hit w the feels

[@sadepaljema7490]

@@oompaloompaz794 Same

[@romeojulietlover]

What's with all the bots in the comments suddenly?

[@TM-mc3zn]

TF is with these bots saying “So sexy moment” ?....😅😂

[@scarletraven8846]

Just a friendly reminder: 1: Your new relationship is not your old relationship aka don't compare your new partner to your ex. 2: Trust your partner, if you can't trust them talk about it or leave. 3: Don't belittle your partner and no one should ever make you feel lesser than. 4: Don't make your partner do things they don't want to do. 5: Communication! talk to each other about the good and especially the bad!

[@lllbby_5]

Scarlet Raven omg tysm bc I always feel like my relationship is dying

[@deep.6228]

Scarlet Raven Thankyou !🥺❤️💛

[@lilydrimm6626]

Oh thank you really!! The only bf I had would proudly say I’m the 37th and would compare me to his ex..... Like if there is ONE thing I would do in a relationship is trying to make that person feel special and not saying like "oh yeah my ex was like this and that good thing you’re not" cause even of that sounds like good it just makes you feel like you’re 1 out of many others, like you’re just a sort of experience... Well, now he’s in love (he told me that as an ex already...) and too bad for him I’m not...well how could I when he was treating me like this 😅 Anyway, make that special person actually feel special!

[@asiamarie5438]

Scarlet Raven youtube threads in such good relatable videos 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@ethanowen1416]

So true

[@silverkiid]

i always thought the red flags were so obvious until i ended up in her position

[@stargazer2042]

Informative. There may be more we need to learn to not be susceptible. Maybe she knows it is not nice but thinks she is not worthy or able to do better.

[@monumehta2545]

l p cxx could bcj j

[@issasecretsecret7814]

red flags are always noticeable until you fall for someone

[@stargazer2042]

That is why you need to reject soon, before you fall for them. Too many people stuck in bad relationships because they are already in love.

[@juliabeljo7998]

This.

[@Addimations]

The amount of bots in the comments XD

[@skeletor3010]

Ikr!!!

[@criskp6861]

I know...Im scared

[@ranb147]

It is kinda weird tbh

[@moyananayakkara3129]

@Evelyne the irony please 😭

[@cinnamon5675]

@@moyananayakkara3129 ilr

[@mrs.k6169]

Your guy's writing and acting is amazing. Totally loved the perspectives and LOVE that she took her for a walk with a joint to have the serious talk. That's a lot of how my sister's and family are, a walk and a smoke to talk about the real things. Love it.

[@lilzy1235]

“My childhood home had squirrels” I felt that awkward silence.

[@terradriggers6706]

Lol

[@p3t3r826]

We all did felt that

[@thomasjefferson6451]

Lily Ermel Yikesss I know

[@princessmochi524]

Yo that’s worse than rats 😂 squirrels will fight back and steal From you

[@nuryesinia2850]

Iejjsixhek

[@airachica]

Wow, this was so unbelievably uncomfortable to watch. I mean, in the good way, cause it means they did their job to really convey what abuse can look like. Abuse isn't always physical and a lot of people forget that.

[@virtuoso3128]

Wwwsexvf

[@Rezzmari]

There is also the words "emotional abuse". Do people really forget this aspect?

[@americangirlgalore7388]

1000th like

[@kelseywebb8850]

💛

[@thesharpestofthorns___9132]

AiraSora (I love your videos!)

[@andyl4822]

This was really well-done, Buzzfeed (and all involved - behind the camera and in front of it). I'm familiar with two of the actors in this one from other Buzzfeed videos, and it seems that each of you keep getting better and better even though you were already great from the start. If this were a series, whether here on KZbin or Buzzfeed, or on a streaming platform, I'd definitely continue to tune in! Just really well-done all around! Kudos! Definitely one of my new top favorites I've seen so far 👏👏👏

[@leggimi]

This is so accurate it' scary. The whole time I felt again what if feels like to have an abusive partner. There's no bigger pain.

[@palmtrees3117]

This video made me realize that I emotionally abused my ex gf for two years and the fact that she finally broke up with me tells me she became strong enough to do so. I really regret treating her the way I did, I'm happy she's a stronger woman now, I'm happy I've learned to treat my partners nicer.

[@noragoodwin8053]

I'm happy that you are in a better place ❤❤ good luck in all your future endeavors

[@simskiara]

So did I

[@Danielle33384]

It's amazing that you can admit that!! Have you ever thought about speaking to her and saying you're sorry? I was just wondering. Not being rude ;)

[@palmtrees3117]

Danielle I did and then she revealed she was actually cheating on me.

[@johnsonleon16]

Palm Trees oh man dude, should've said "why you never let me join?" and laugh it off and she'll love it

[@beebeepup]

i wish buzzfeed still made good content like this

[@mink4663]

BB BB buzzfeed has made such a bad name for itself, they made content like this , KZbin would be much better

[@lizardlizard8276]

This is a separate channel that belongs to buzzfeed

[@bodyofhope]

This is buzzfeed content

[@maxmikaelson]

@@lizardlizard8276 And also from years ago

[@maxmikaelson]

@@bodyofhope And also from years ago

[@skateb8rd158]

I keep reading all the comments and they’re all spamming I-

[@meganbaker7184]

yeah and why do they all have those pics lmao

[@veganatasha80]

@@meganbaker7184 ikr LMAO

[@elisacamou7336]

"She's abusive" "She never hit me" "She doesn't have to" Wow, I felt that. TIMESTAMP: 10:59 - 11:04

[@Bhitsh]

i saw this so often and was just scared to click on it to see what i actually already knew: that i was in a abusive relationship

[@moto45]

your beautiful don't do that to yourself. you deserve much more than that. I've been through this same thing and I didn't respect myself enough to let go. you'll be way happier when you treat yourself how you deserve..if you need a friend message me.

[@Bhitsh]

+New Path thanks so much never expected to see humanity on KZbin. I am lucky to see what is wrong and I'm happy I can see what's good and bad for me.

[@clairemurray7033]

Good luck with that 😄

[@Bhitsh]

+SchrodingersCat I know that now ^^ I've ended it

[@kassandracuevas1136]

+unnieCL same but its your fault u were in that relationship just like its mine as well for mine

[@haydenchiieruori45]

And the way the pink-haired girl just acted friendly and normal the next day. CLASSIC. Just freaking classic manipulation.

[@stargazer2042]

"If I'm acting normal now, that means I'm normal, which means my actions yesterday were the normal actions of a normal person, which means it is you who is crazy for thinking those actions are not normal." Classic gas lighting.

[@MuhammadImran-ln4fz]

I like u really 💋👄💑💑💏💏😘😘😍😍

[@mayamichellemurata]

She also won’t notice at all that something is clearly wrong about her gf

[@black_swanN]

@@mayamichellemurata wont acknowledge !

[@PhoenixRising87]

I had friends who'd act like that when I was younger...I think I was basically groomed to attract people like that by my parents (who are similarly passive-agressive and gaslighting).

[@nowmowcow5191]

I think something that went unnoticed that was also abusive is how when she was in the shower, her gf came in without asking if she could.

[@babyelephant3345]

The moment when you realize.... maybe they are abusive. You end up feeling emotionally frozen like her at the end

[@tatianahancock6545]

Emotional abuse is actually often MORE damaging in the long term than physical

[@PhoenixRising87]

True...but they often go together...

[@victoria4309]

eh id disagree

[@lizzyjamieson2630]

I agree, personally. I was emotionally abused and I used to pray that they'd hit me instead. But it's not the same for everyone.

[@tinctures_]

No. People die from physical abuse

[@lizzyjamieson2630]

@@tinctures_ suicide is a death, isn't it?

[@amymacefield2046]

The dark haired girl said sorry so much when she didn’t need to..

[@appu6787]

Brittany??

[@-moondust-]

You feel like you have to constantly say sorry, for the smallest thing.

[@evaann-louise2408]

I do it too, but it's really just a nervous habit.

[@slayyingmami2356]

She is me

[@amymacefield2046]

BTS Is my life yeah sorry 😂

[@callhimcurly7466]

People need to understand that emotional abuse is still abuse and a person doesn't have to hit you to call them abusive

[@tobi-ir7oq]

THE GIRLS:18+ ARE SUZUKA.UNO THREE IN ONE KZbin: THIS IS FINE. SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. KZbin: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.

[@paulinahafer7185]

Out of all the videos I watched on here over the years, this is one that has stayed with me always. I just watched it for the first time in seven years and it touches me just the same.

[@HattieDame]

Emotional abuse can be worse than physical. The wounds stay longer and make deeper scars.

[@leen-_-g3142]

Hattie Dame very true

[@Ari_C]

Hattie Dame it can also be even more difficult for some to recognise so they're in that relationship longer...

[@GermaniaPruisen]

Physical abuse also comes with mental abuse. Being hurt by someone you love is deeply upsetting, especially when physical.

[@oseremenikekhua657]

Hattie Dame So True

[@emilylatte6626]

Hattie Dame physical abuse is always worse then mental, always.

[@wynnie_margeaux]

"She's abusive." "She doesn't hit me." "She doesn't have to." THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

[@Dani-ti1dt]

백장미 yess

[@kaidiver3089]

BUT PEOPLE STILL STAY

[@poppylill3490]

백장미 omg yes!

[@314bluepandastl9]

"you could do better" - lil Donald

[@imbored2257]

TAEMIN

[@cloudy450]

thank god for turbotax ads, they were the only thing keeping me from crying

[@katerose3304]

The way an abuser’s attitude shifts towards their victims in private vs public. After experiencing emotional abuse, I’d never wish it on anyone

[@yoongidarling997]

I realized I do alot of the things the abuser did and I feel terrible. I'm glad I watched it from this perspective and definitely plan on changing

[@Demisearts]

....Yup....I can relate too

[@meeha2020]

Yoongi Darling A.R.M.Y. 💜💜

[@SatoriBunniii]

Yoongi Darling I wish you the best in your journey, I’m glad that instead of keeping with this abusive behavior you’ve realized you should change for the better. I wish there were more people like you.

[@gabby5919]

I used to do this with the first person I dated I’ve changed and I feel really bad about doing that to them I’m glad I realized what I was doing 😖

[@ilovecoryxkenshinsm]

That's good!

[@alyssaameliia]

i like that they showed how the healthy relationship still argued

[@moviesrapidshows90s73]

Because in every healthy relationship, yeah your still going to have arguments.

[@hannahf.572]

MoviesRapid Shows90s exactly

[@_eiileak_]

XNxx

[@topsmart1138]

basix bich 😉👉😮

[@rambosorbeto5868]

ur such a beautiful being.

[@dragonflymagictarot]

abuse happens in private, it is usually indirect comments/remarks, backhanded compliments which is a subtle way to manipulate you . Usually involves embarrassment, jealousy, guilt tripping, rage outbursts (disproportionate), then comes the apologies, followed by charm, attention, love and it starts up again. Power and control cycle. When you are in it and isolated from friends/family, its hard to see what that person is doing. But you'll feel something isn't right. Always follow your gut :)

[@linnycrocus6023]

Her: "It just really frustrated me" Him: "YOU'RE LIKE FREAKING OUT"

[@boybyeplease]

the way her friend defended her made me happy

[@acoolpianist]

need me a friend like that

[@berlinwall6674]

All friends are supposed to be like that.

[@emmaleigh5771]

the abuser one looks like an off brand jenna marbles 😂

[@noeme17]

Emma Mattingly yep i saw that too...😂

[@SC-lr8tv]

Omg I knew she looked familiar!

[@marleepink1606]

Sandy Ketchup lmao

[@sofiamorales5124]

I legit though it was Jenna before and I was like "it cant be"

[@laurenk.2953]

Omfg sameee 🤣🤣

[@gabbylopez9091]

I'm not a lesbian, but this is what the majority of the guys I've dated have acted like. They also got mad because I'm waiting for marriage. Abuse is everywhere :(

[@meh6131]

I'm sorry. I know many will try to manipulate you. Don't give in if waiting is what you want

[@southernbeauty1376]

Waiting for my husband was the best thing I ever did. I was bullied for my choice in high school and it definitely made relationships difficult until I found the right one. Don’t give in to the pressure and stand firm in your beliefs! It was the best choice I ever made ❤

[@gabbylopez9091]

@@southernbeauty1376 I appreciate the encouragement and that I'm not alone. I struggle with the choice every day to wait, but I know it'll pay off in the end!

[@lindsierae8850]

@@gabbylopez9091 difficult roads lead to the most beautiful destinations! Girl, I am so proud of you!!! It may be hard sometimes to have boundaries with people but it is soooo worth it in the end. For me, those boundaries saved me from a lot of heartache and pain.. and really, it kept me from people who wouldn’t have shared my values anyway… so the relationship would have ended regardless. Though it was not an easy decision, and I had to make it again and again and again… it was one of the best decisions of my life! You are choosing what’s hard now, to not have it be hard later in life! You are amazing! ♥️

[@catalinatryingagain]

wow, pretty much everyone I loved from BuzzFeed is no longer there

[@sarathesimmersarathesimmer1300]

Abuse. Is. Not. Just. Physical. And I'm extremely glad this short film portrayed that and showed many red flags

[@israhdaniel3392]

"she's abusive "she's never hit me..." "she doesn't have to." strongest thing anyone has ever said.

[@l1v1ng.d3ad.3nd]

WHAT THE FRICK IS UP WITH THE COMMENTS-

[@gracebrb]

fr😭

[@bellewatson380]

the only one who’s not seeing the bots-?

[@cherdreviyagray804]

That cupcake at the beginning looked good.

[@jadeliz7675]

Cherdreviya Gray honestly

[@weave4886]

Yeah until they started licking it.☠️

[@Beneaddict]

ik

[@kyla4049]

that's a mood😂

[@danielkay8641]

Cherdreviya Gray are you as high as I am

[@vivianeluu]

Honestly, how stupid can you be to fire such a good actress, creator like Brittany.

[@ohkami3502]

She broke the contract, it's not about smart and stupid, it would be legal and illegal ...

[@jennac.1958]

She broke her contract ):

[@BlkAuDiS401]

+Jenna Draws how she break it

[@vivianeluu]

Buzzfeed is full of creators, actors, artists. That's what they are, a creative place. The fact that they don't allow their employees to express their creativity and passion out of the Buzzfeed environment is just crazy. Employees have left this company on their own because they didn't have the liberty to create content of their own since it wasn't related to Buzzfeed. So much for being a creative place huh?

[@ohkami3502]

The contract says all content their creators make belongs to them, so all the others that aren't fired were allowed to have their own channels etc.. but brit was in a video with another label

[@semiprotita]

This for me is one of the best BF videos

[@Coco-vm7mv]

like the fact that they showed that abuse has no gender, sexuality or culture. Anyone can be abusive regardless of your race, gender, sexuality or culture. It's a people thing

[@sav2967]

Dədəş 🖕🏻

[@_.lemon.drop._3472]

this could be the setup for ACTUAL movie

[@DelinahLovesHouseBunnies]

+Christine Turner It *is* an actual movie--a short film. But I know what you're saying. It could make a good full-length film, yes. But I really like short films; I wish I could see more of them. I like short stories (literature), too. So I really like it as it is. I like the subtle bits, such as how the abuser asks who Brittany is texting at the beginning. It could just be casual curiosity, but in retrospect, we realize it's part of her controlling who Brittany talks to because she so fears betrayal and abandonment. She gives a certain look (I watched it again). Another good bit is when she mocks Ryan for having squirrels in his childhood home: "Ooh, scary," even though he isn't even saying they were scary like rats (I find ratties adorable; I miss my friend's pet rats that have passed away). 💕🐭🐭 He is merely mentioning something he has in common with Brittany--an animal infestation--but she twists his words. Could just be friendly teasing, but she later goes on to twist Brittany's and Allie's words, and to mock both of them more obviously. Evidently this is a habit she's developed for selfishly controlling others so that she herself feels safer and more in control of her life. And when Brittany says, "She's always late but blames me," it doesn't sound like that big of a deal, until we find out her partner angrily blames her for *everything*. Only those who are hurting want purposely to hurt others, but some hurting people turn the attack inward instead, like Brittany, so blame from another resonates with their self-blame and they accept it. I love how the ending has one more subtle moment: Allie notices Brittany crying in the rearview mirror--I'm sure she'll comfort her later, when they're alone--but Brittany's girlfriend ignores her and chats and laughs with Ryan, confirming that she is thoughtless toward Brittany. Not once does she think to look over at her own girlfriend, to check in with how she's doing. During the whole film, she only thinks about her own feelings and desires. Of course, the meaning of the crying is communicated well. Brittany sees the happy, straight couple and realizes she is very unhappy. She finally admits to herself that Allie is right, she is being abused, and now she has to do the hardest thing she's ever done: stand up for herself. 😔 ////Bunny kisses for all!

[@_.lemon.drop._3472]

you do relize nobody will read all that, unless their realy bored

[@_.lemon.drop._3472]

uuuuuuu?like are you gay then?

[@patrickobrien6251]

(O ___________ O)

[@patrickobrien6251]

was it not obvious?

[@airachica]

09:32 OK, this one pisses me off and I can say why with just one question: "If something happens to you in every relationship you've had, maybe you're the problem?"

[@lilianaesperanza1208]

yes. yes. yes.

[@entertain7us148]

lol idk why but this totally reminded me of ross geller

[@Justin-hh9ro]

you make an important point there, while ross is always shown to be the nice guy, and joey the bad boy, in actuality, joey is often nicer and a better person in general than ross. Shows how you can't judge a book.

[@marysworld9760]

@Caryn Gibson aw, that sounds really bad, i'm glad you break up with him though, and breaking up with him in the public is sooooooo smart,

[@kristinafrazier4316]

Right, I mean Hello!?

[@someonehelppleasee]

"He's a backpacker, you need help" Basic Americans.

[@kyliea4592]

thé abusive one not even noticing that her gf was sad

[@hpoels851]

Of course not. That's why she is abusive.

[@terradriggers6706]

Yeah she was about to bawl her eyes out

[@donnamariedavidson5065]

It is because she does not care. And perhaps enjoys it. Sad

[@terradriggers6706]

@@donnamariedavidson5065 CONTRYVERSY, but she was involved the last time she was sad she texted to help, and noticed, there's a 89% chance she did not notices, rather than an 21% that she did and didn't care.

[@DinahAlthorpe]

Is that David Spade in your profile picture?

[@iloilee]

The best thing about this is that it’s kind of subtle. It shows that emotional abuse isn’t always yelling and threatening and throwing things. It’s sometimes just about the little things, like having to walk on eggshells around your abuser, having to explain every little thing to them, as if you’re defending yourself. The sad thing is, many people don’t know they’re being abused because they only think of the really severe things, like physical abuse. And this is often how really abusive relationships start. With someone who’s a little bit controlling and uptight. I love the little hints and giveaways you can see throughout the video. You have to really be looking for signs of abuse to really notice it sometimes.

[@joicesantos2587]

Leah Spinelli -

[@iloilee]

Darren Ward Is there any way you can free yourself of this person? Cut off all contact?

[@sunjanakulkarni3217]

Tbh this goes for friendships as well. It’s just that no one bothers to warn you about it.

[@maymaylozano5734]

Delilah Phillips: yeah I experience that though

[@IjusVindrBjorr]

Agree with this comment 1000%

[@MarieTilly]

Why are there sooooo many bots in the comments

[@gabbylopez8613]

My biggest fear on my honeymoon night, since it'll be my first time is that my husband will feel like this and divorce me. Biggest kick in the feels, "She's abusive." "She's never hit me." "She doesn't have to." That is true in any type of relationship.

[@10solitare01]

Please do talk to your husband about your fears beforehand. You'll both appreciate it, trust me!

[@emmazichelouis4213]

This is not true in any type of relationship - healthy relationships don't look like this

[@Gayredheadbitch94]

abuse, be it emotional, psychological or physical is not ok. Its normal to be a little possessive and jealous when someone is close to your partner. But just in a way to remind "Yo dude, this person is my partner. Not on the market". But getting jealous and suspicious of their friends, making them feel bad about their intimate friendships and suspecting them of flirting with someone else. That's not ok. The more you pressure someone and suspect everything they do, that's not ok. Your pushing them away, showing them you don't trust them.

[@samyaowens4055]

ginger psycho it break friendships and that is really messed up

[@Lou-fs9ew]

I didn't really understand what was abusive there maybe because I don't have a boyfriend yet but can you explain ? You mean she was abusing because she wanted her to be with her all the time and cut the friendship with her friend ?

[@ecargr9941]

and that girl isn't only unnormal jealous but really abusive

[@leilakramer2198]

Ok I’m really weird but how is this abuse, like its obviously not physical but how is it emotionally

[@kiwi845]

There's no reason at all to be possessive and jelous. It's unhealthy.

[@tarawestie4595]

Buzzfeed: **This video** Also Buzzfeed: *"Fart Facts That Will Blow You Away!"*

[@deppreseddino392]

Heh blow you away

[@jhonnarah9034]

Open xvideo

[@Amber_Heard]

hello

[@peeradittapeera4830]

Ok

[@loonyhype9527]

T-raa, or “what type of a fart are you?”

[@Laurayoutube22]

He is actually really cute

[@daod6655]

0967770975886?

[@halehydraa]

Brittany is so good, really miss this Buzzfeed era

[@wth1429]

Finally somebody says you dont have to hit someone to call that abuse. It can be with words.

[@SandraLovesRoses]

I wonder why you say finally. I guess it just goes to show that it isn't a well-recognized thing from a young age. Hopefully that is changing.

[@user-ui5xi6yw7x]

TheCowGoesMoo' “finally”? Mental abuse is already a well known thing

[@lavellans]

Guys, lay off. Mental abuse is becoming more well-known but in every culture it is not entirely accepted. It is not as obvious as physical bruises always. And frankly, growing up, I hardly heard about this type of abuse, only the physical kind, or it would be "abuse" as them policing how you dress. It was trivial high school matters, rather than more "adult" abuse scenarios such as the video. So I see where OP comment is coming from.

[@MuhammadImran-ln4fz]

Love u like u really ..i get u 😍😍💑💑💏💏💋👄❤❤

[@heathersmith3805]

this video made me realize i was in an abusive relationship when i was 16, thank you for this video

[@davidlowe6960]

Heather Smith same..

[@heathersmith3805]

@C C thank you so much 😊

[@mdkamrulpk6659]

IMO 8801935236963

[@samirmakrani8249]

Heather Smith sajidmakrami

[@dylanrosenberg3532]

so your telling me your 16 year old boyfriend is abusive?!!

[@savvy140]

Why do I feel this video came out like ages ago, but it's only been 4 years 🤒

[@petrallepostia]

This is honestly an inspirational lesson

[@laineyschwartz7693]

but did they have to include the thunderous kissing sounds?

[@luciafranceschini2800]

omg all the serious comments and then this im laughing so hard

[@yunginaliel]

Lainey Schwartz FINALLY SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING. i was thinking the same exact thing like dude was the microphone right under their mouths?! the noises almost made me gag lmao

[@marley92282]

Ahhhhh yassss noooo!! 🤣🤣🤣 blah blah blah!

[@cymaltuvern]

them bass-boosted kissin noises

[@ninainejwylanbrekker]

😂 and btw your profile pic is adorable

[@babygoose8716]

This is absolutely terrifying because I’ve been with someone like this before. The feeling is almost unexplainable and you don’t realize it’s happening until everyone else around you does and they open your eyes to what’s really going on. I had good friends open my eyes and I got out of that relationship ASAP.

[@novaamerica8546]

So true..

[@samanthacassell949]

same here and I left after I almost was killed last year

[@MuhammadAdil-vd7pm]

00923443444424

[@amalie_ram956]

My friends keep telling me I deserve better, that its unhealthy... But I love him... I dont want to lose him... Im too scared of being alone.

[@kirjajensen8288]

I feel yah I know what it's like

[@malehlohonolo8463]

"Just like every relationship I ever had" lmaooo yea, because you're the psycho in all those relationships

[@ivancritter]

last year i had a “best friend” who was toxic and rude and kicked me (she always wore boots too smh-) whenever i made a minor critique towards her. this year i have an amazing friend who i talk to every day and hang out with all the time. the difference is amazing. edit: we got into 3 huge arguments since i wrote this comment but as of now we’re both ok and still care about each other 😌😌 edit 2: he told me i hurt him and now im lying on the ground in mental pain

[@tori2464]

That is honestly amazing to hear! 💜

[@ivancritter]

@@tori2464 ik im so happy and thankful. he’s literally a gift

[@tori2464]

@@ivancritter I wish the best for you guys!!

[@ivancritter]

@@tori2464 aw tyy

[@tori2464]

@@ivancritter np! Stay safe

[@elimochi]

Don't EVER let someone make you think that it's "your fault" when they treat you badly. it's not.

[@btsobsessed9685]

Honey sometimes it it

[@mariehicks8472]

😂

[@unicornsarepurplepickleswi4457]

My mother and my step father

[@Ranty2929]

Don't EVER let someone make you think that it's "Your Fault" when they treat you Badly. It's Not

[@MuhammadImran-ln4fz]

I get u

[@ninainejwylanbrekker]

Abuser: Coffee? Girl: Sure Me: No don't drink it!!!!! Just me or did anyone else think that?

[@EvElyse23]

I LOVE your name!!

[@layaa5401]

Hermione Tris Katniss Isabelle Lightwood same

[@sterna6831]

Sane i'm like maybe she put poison in it

[@mariakara2419]

Hermione Tris Katniss Isabelle Lightwood probably spit in it...

[@mariakara2419]

you’re name!!! 💘

[@big1ne]

Remember the 1st time I saw this, I was sick to my stomach. Rewatching it again and my stomach is boiling. This cast was amazing

[@CG-on9jv]

amazing. just amazing.

[@Rachel-uy3rw]

So relatable and I particularly admire how subtle and realistic the abusive behaviour was, such a true representative of an emotionally abusive partner. the straight couple on the other hand made me cringe.

[@valkyriemaiden9593]

Out of curiosity, What was so cringey about the straight couple?

[@Rachel-uy3rw]

+Valkyrie Maiden95 haha they just seem so awkward, especially in sexual scenarios. i think it's because they were portrayed very realistically though so it's not a bad thing!

[@cutetrsh5275]

tbh same....they were so awkward i just wow

[@kryptoniterainbow719]

Well they were a new couple and I found them adorable especially the way they worked out the simple little problem without apology or blame and just worked together and could tell that they could really turn into something remarkable, but that way just my take

[@SaajaadeenJeffries]

i can even believe the cring right now

[@thxtfangirl]

She's abusive. She's never hit me. She doesn't have to.

[@nathanielluvsmh]

Obsessed_Fangirl xoxo are you ok? Or just quoteing this

[@thxtfangirl]

Rosefire_Authorett quoting:)

[@carysgwenllian]

+Obsessed_Fangirl xoxo Hey fellow mixer! You ok? Xx

[@thxtfangirl]

Carys Hind hey! I'm fine i was just quoting the video:)

[@carysgwenllian]

+Obsessed_Fangirl xoxo OK :) xx

[@create2liberate]

This is a huge reminder of my last relationship.

[@pandabear7177]

I like that the best friend was honest, but still fair. She stayed in her own lane, but still stood up for her. You don’t have to like your best friend’s partner, but it’s not ok to bash them.

[@mynamesblurryface6982]

"She's abusive" "She's never hit me" "She doesn't have to" DAMN MY HEART

[@user-jy9ep1dj3i]

you dont have one

[@camidc7]

Hamodii Boss OOOOOOOOOOOH BURRRRRRN

[@Julie-le6dk]

What time? I couldn't find it

[@seliaredman4020]

Julie Yay 10:59

[@kaitlynsimmons8464]

My Name's [Blurryface] bish yes

[@skylarj3374]

The shower scene made me so anxious

[@maheenkhan7285]

Skylar J I didn't get that part

[@Milkyzaurus]

Maheen khan me neither

[@itrynottomumble8102]

- Ruminate - I believe it’s just her being uncomfortable and thinking about her girlfriend and how she’s always with her and is controlling.

[@taylorwillis7481]

To me, it kind of seemed to represent how out of control she is of the relationship. Like her girlfriend just set the tone, controlled her and what was okay or not okay, etc.

[@lucylovelock6007]

i'm naked

[@aaronnewman7573]

bookmarking every red flag i see 0:22 0:26 0:32 0:38 0:49 1:08 1:41 3:01 4:02 4:14 4:26 4:40 4:59 5:04 … this whole convo was just, yikes 5:10 5:16 5:22 6:25 6:34 6:52 (i woulda been a lil jealous too but the way she handled it wasnt good imo) 7:24 8:33 8:41 8:46 8:52 9:04 9:09 damn girl u just dont stop 9:18 9:22 9:26 9:32 9:38 11:28 12:27 12:43 12:56 13:02 13:30 13:51

[@aesthetica350]

"She's abusive." "She has never hit me." Yup.

[@malinnilsen5188]

"She's never hit me." "She doesn't have to." That hit harder than I thought was possible.

[@khanhfident]

Yes.

[@malinnilsen5188]

Xo Xo Dude, I'm 18.

[@kendrag3974]

+Xo Xo that's so mean and uncalled for. tf are u thinking?

[@Mugelbbub16]

They also don't have to be directly rude, I am not a lesbian, but my ex bf before my current relationship kept stereotyping me and telling me and asking me why I'm not like other girls and why I am not breaking up with him for someone better looking, well listen up, I was not breaking up with you because you needed love and I tried to give it to you but you didn't want it. And now sad to say I have found someone a lot nicer and better for me, not better than you... and for those reading this you wanna know what he did after a week into my new relationship? Well he called me and asked why I hate him, tbh I hate him because of that, I don't hate him because he was skeptical of me.

[@weskinz]

+Olivia Van De Ven OMG MY LAST NAME IS VAN DE VEN

[@bellajlrr]

Kiss sound irl: *basically inaudible* Kiss Sounds in buzzfeed: *Louder than a motorcycle*

[@Itspritha_]

Yeahhhh... i had to put my volume down for this. I was scared that my parents gonna listen this from corridor and think I'm watching something else!🤦‍♀️

[@user-dl8rt4rt6u]

I love that Ali didn't get mad at Brittany for throwing her issues with her boyfriend in her face. She still responded gently to her because she knew she was in a difficult place.

[@tadaija333]

Dating someone like this is very traumatic

[@NeshaBonita]

I have never seen this side of BuzzFeed before, and I love it. I literally just watched myself from the outside looking in.

[@maebaby2018]

Enesha Johnson was that a Dear Evan Hansen reference?

[@ercancokan1583]

م

[@khaingmarsaw8805]

Mae Baby

[@queenropejumpsparkle]

WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW

[@lexithemusicgeek6292]

IM WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW WHOA OHHHH