Unhelpful Responses To Your Spouse's Pain

[@angmcstuff5857]

Brandon, my significant other and I have talked about why I'm hurting before but what I need in order to move on isn't a simple apology. I want him to acknowledge what he did and how awful it was. Not where he turns into the victim or makes me into one, but something that convinces me that he knows how close I was to leaving and he doesn't know why I stayed but he's glad that I did. He wasn't on the receiving end so a part of me wants him to feel a little bit of my pain, by taking the bandaid off and hearing how it made me feel and for him to feel empathy. Up to this point, hes avoided empathy because he is not emotional strong enough to deal with it. I just don't think I can trust him with my emotions until I can see him empathize with me because everything else is just words that sound empty to me. I don't know to tell him that this is what I need without him getting defensive. I've watched your 2 videos on empathy. I sent him one.

[@richgouette]

man.. this is a sledgehammer of truth, hitting me squarely on the heart

[@Iamforeveryummy]

This video is a huge eye opener for me. My husband, the man I hurt, shared it with me and I'm grateful. Even as I watched this I realized I was doing some of these things at that moment I couldn't believe it. I was hurting him again while learning what not to do. Idk how to recover form this and all th other horrible things I've done to him. I need help, desperately. Idk where to turn or what to do an dim gonna lose him for good. I can't. I just can't.