Uninvited From Best Friend's Wedding By His Fiancee r/Relationships

[@GreenKnight1982]

When you use somebody as a beard without their knowledge and then blame the breakup of the Sham marriage on them you completely lose all rights to stay in the closet to those that you lie to

[@untitled-gv3qp]

The nerve of him to come crying to the OP about it like she's the one in the wrong. How do you just start a relationship, get married, and intend to have kids with someone you don't care about, that had to be going on for years. He has no empathy for anyone but himself. At least she found out early before they actually had kids.

[@WobblesandBean]

@@untitled-gv3qp Exactly. More often than not, these people will try and hide behind his LGBT status as a shield, claiming bigotry anytime they're justifiably called out for their atrocious behavior. OP had every right to expose her wretched ex to his equally wretched mother.

[@hothotheat3000]

She needs to put him to the entire church and ask for their prayers and support. I’d burn his world to the ground and burn his family too. Ask for prayers for the family’s great shame and get them ostracized.

[@SnerMerNer]

Poor woman. Used as a beard.

[@mrs.h2725]

I’ve been cheated on and have survived SA’s. Finding out my ex fiancé had been sleeping with multiple side pieces while having unprotected sx with me kinda felt like an assault in a way. Taking away my consent of who I’m exposing myself to. Thankfully I didn’t catch anything, but still. I felt so gross and used and violated for a long time.

[@addicted2mako]

Story 3: Wait, the son is 15? I was under the impression that this was a five year old. Granted that would've still been wrong, but there's at least the understanding that he'd still be learning right from wrong. A 15 year old would know fully well to 1) not steal things and 2) taking things out of packages devalues them. So it's not an overreaction for the brother to expect to be reimbursed for it, And that good old "But we're FAAAAAAAAAAmily" comment doesn't shield OP and their son from facing the consequences of stealing stuff. If he had pulled this stunt on a stranger, they wouldn't give their parent a heads up before getting the cops involved. After update: Yeah, sorry, OP. Sometimes people have to get kicked by the horse to learn not to stand behind it, so here's hoping that this gives the son a wakeup call.

[@PowerStruggle555]

yeah. when I heard age I was like. the son didnt steal because its a toy....he stole it either to be malicious or to resell. If he was in a cartoon, when he saw the value he'd have dollar signs in his eyes

[@aspidistraeliator]

On top of it in the update he was still going on about "defending" his son......good parents do not "defend" theft. You get consequences for theft, be it at home or by law.

[@poohbear4515]

OP was a pretty big asshole. Still is for thinking “family”. For god’s sake, he’s 15 and should very well know that consequences deserve punishment. I’d be extremely angry and sad if my nephew did that and my sister would try to fight it to keep her baby safe from the law. And the fact that he said “we’re family” is a load of crap. Just because your blood related doesn’t mean their safe from the police. If OP’s nephew stole something that’s worth thousands, or even millions from him, would he think “Oh he’s family, I won’t sue him, or call the police at all. I’ll just give him a warning, or a light punishment.”

[@lkayh]

Well, it seems like in the end OP got it right. As painful as it is for a parent to let their child get arrested and prosecuted, once he realized his son did it for profit (I think up to then he was still seeing his boy as a child who impulsively grabbed something he liked), he stepped back and let the consequences rain down. His son needed to see where this kind of thing would take him, because usually when someone is caught doing something like that, they’ve done other things like it 10 other times and weren’t caught.

[@PowerStruggle555]

@@poohbear4515 exactly. personally I think its way worst when they steal from family.

[@hothotheat3000]

Story 2: you were 10000% right to put him. He used you and wasted your time and exposed you to potential STDs by cheating, and his mom has the nerve to blame you. Well, she will never do that again. I’m glad you exposed his fraud. He can’t get away with doing this to you or someone else.

[@Garurugirl1]

yeah also won't this fall under marriage fraud too? I could be wrong

[@pippo17173]

I hate when gay people use this to avoid homophobia. I get it, there are times you need to protect yourself but if you pulled a liar and waste someone time without being upfront, you deserve all the consequeses you can get. Especially the cheating aspect of it.

[@mrs.h2725]

It’s wild that OP wanted to avoid painting the Mormons as all being homophobic. Lol yeh it’s literally in their handbook. All monotheistic religions do that because they’re patriarchal in nature, and encourage their cult members to breed so they can add to their numbers. Genuinely don’t understand how ppl can still be so blind to that.

[@briarrose6442]

@@wiggly103 she's a fundie mormon, she's the entire reason OP ended up in a shitshow, because her coward of a son decided lying and marrying someone he didn't love for children was better than living as himself outside of that toxic family. and no, he told mummy OP wanted more sex than he could give so that's why he cheated, which doesn't even make any sense. She wasn't trying to save their marriage, she was shaming OP as a woman for 'being a failure as a wife'.

[@Slifer-yq8ep]

@@wiggly103 trying to "save" it is one thing. But she excused the cheating then blamed her. So no the mother is messed up.

[@Can_think_of_a_name]

*Story 1:* NTA *Story 2:* He cheated on her and was using her, NTA he is completely in the wrong *Story 3:* "What should I do?" PAY HIM BACK! If you can't let the son face the consequences of his actions with the police and definitely make the son get a job to pay for it, just because someone's family doesn't mean you should let them get away with stealing from you. Also "I don't feel bad about defending my son" you should!

[@fufufuaru]

The way op3 kept saying "nerdy" sounded condescending/insulting AF.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

It is, he thinks he’s better than his brother because he has a family and his brother doesn’t, even though he’s the one raising a thief.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

I doubt this is the first time OP has expected people to forgive or let go of bad things people have done, "because we're all family". In that situation, I probably wouldn't wanna be close to my family either

[@LayfonDragnia]

Op sounds like the type to constantly badger family about why they aren’t in a relationship and then get confused and offended when the family member gets pissed off. His whole update was “don’t pity me…but pity me because having a stupid nerd brother is hard”. JFC no wonder his son is such a “gem”.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

I wonder why bro went no contact. OP sounds like a dick

[@meirin5316]

also how dare he not have or maybe dont have a family! how dare he spent his money not on offspring!! this op is a pos no wonder his child is like this...

[@emilybarclay8831]

S2: people aren’t even factoring in the fact that he was sexually actively with both OP and likely numerous men (people with secret lovers do not stick to just one) and the risk of STDs is, for better or worse, higher in gay male sexual encounters. I do not trust this man to have used protection, and he put OP at massive risk of a serious STD. All cheaters do, gay or otherwise, but male on male cheating does carry the highest risk. OP and any future kids she may have had could have been killed by his actions

[@cyberspinosaur1145]

Story 3: As a collector this *hurts!* That kid wouldn't have woken up for another 15 years if he did that shit too me

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

I have a friend that went through something similar. They both come from a very conservative, Baptist, and southern family. But, he and his wife were much more liberal and accepting. Anyway, about 5 years into their marriage, and 7 years into their relationship, his wife finally admitted she was a lesbian, and her best friend (who was also married) has has actually been her girlfriend since they were 16 (15 years). She begged him not to tell her family why they were divorcing, and he understood, and knew how her family would react. She did admit to her family it was her fault, because she had an affair, just didn't say WHO the affair was with. When her family pressured to know why she had an affair, she decided to start saying the reason she had the affair was because he was treated her coldly, never showed her love, and stopped being intimate with her. So, she was tired of being sad and lonely. Well, after she said that, both families started blaming him for the divorce. Saying things like he "wasn't man enough" to keep his wife satisfied, or assumed he himself was having an affair. These comments, and speculations went on for 3 months, before he just lost it on them. A person can only take so much undeserved ridicule, and emotional distress. So, the next time his stbx inlaws started on him about the "sanctity of marraige", and "Thou Shalt flee sexual temptation from any other but your spouse." He pretty much said the same thing OP said. He let them know that he did love, and desire his wife, however unless her had gender transformation surgery, he would never be enough for her. Of course it was a shock to both families, and they didn't want to believe it, until she finally admitted it was true. Although I do have to say, it took a couple years, but her family now accepts her, except they will not acknowledge her marraige (legal) to her wife. He has since moved on, and has a wife and children.

[@ian7064]

Story 2: NTA. I'm not sure what some redditors want OP to do. You're splitting up bc you were lied to by your closeted stbx who was fully prepared to use you as part of a sham marriage for appearances and now to add insult to injury, you're being harassed by his family when you didn't do anything wrong. OP shouldn't be expected to fall on her sword just bc some think the stbx needs to be protected at all costs bc of muh orientation

[@CroobieLetter]

Many people in the LGBTQ+ community believe that outing someone is simply not done. It's like wearing white at someone else's wedding, or telling someone's kid Santa's secret (worse actually because of possible threats). It's not illegal but a serious social faux pas; an instant YTA rating. Yes, her ex had wronged her in many ways, but that doesn't excuse OP for outing him. But I agree, OP did not stoop to his level to get /back/ at him. She was defending herself and breaking an unwritten rule is a small price to preserve her mental wellbeing. So in this case: NTA

[@Garurugirl1]

tbh same like " Your the jerk for outting the guy that was using you." like dude I want you to REPEAT that " USING YOU.' your orientation don't matter you used that lady for a sham she probably won't care if he was into dude if HE WASN'T MARRIED TO OP

[@pippo17173]

@@Garurugirl1 These commenters seem to forget how hurtful this is when it was all lies. Like I get it, LGBT people had to pulls this to avoid the consequeses of a horrible religionists family but this is such a crappy and low bro move you can make.

[@bokkanb8209]

For story 2. I would normally say that she was the asshole, even if it was losing her shit. for outing him. HOWEVER. the fact that he knowingly and willfully deceived her intending on using her for a family while cheating on her and never loving her is absolutely DISGUSTING. I don't see her "ruining his life" out of spite. She potentially stopped an evil predator from using another person the way he intended to use her by erasing one of the main motivations.

[@1964Puddles]

Last story: I thought OP was talking about a little kid, like 6 or so. He was 15! Anyhoo, @Markee, I listen to a LOT of reddit narrators, and you are one of the best readers. Many others skip over words or replace them or read them wrong (like saying can instead of can't), and it changes the entire meaning of the sentence. It's kind of aggravating, and I feel like I have to read along to make sure I know what is really written and get the story straight. But with you, I don't have to worry about that. I can just pop my earpods in and go about my cleaning and cooking. Just wanted to let you know what an excellent narrator you are. 😊

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 3: I believe I can understand why OP and his brother didn't get along. It seems as though OP has always looked down on his brother for his looks and hobbies.

[@lynnw7155]

That's what I got out of it, too. She clearly has no respect for her brother, but when her own kid does something wrong to the brother, she plays the "but familyyyyyy" card

[@Keyonne88]

@@lynnw7155 Yup; its disgusting. People like this don't value the lives and hobbies of others. Only themselves and their crotch goblins. If my daughter destroyed someone's collectable, I'd ask for a payment plan or something.

[@Ospyro3em]

It's nice when issues can be resolved by talking it out calmly like adults.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

Well adjusted adults aren't posting drama on reddit, though

[@Ospyro3em]

@nationalsocialism3504 true, but I was referring to the update on story 1

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@Ospyro3em yeah... I don't believe in male/female friendships as a general rule but lifelong pre-pubescent friendships are the exception. Those are totally legitimate "sibling" friendships which adults are unable to form once puberty kicks in & our brain chemistry starts changing

[@lexiburrows8127]

@@nationalsocialism3504 Not true. ALL my best friends have been male (yes, some of them may have tried it on in the past, but have still remained friends after being turned-down). I don't like other females much in general. I find most of them too silly and/or emotional (sorry girls) and have always preferred male company. No, I am NOT gay, have had plenty of boy-friends, have been married twice and I am a Mother.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@Lexi Burrows twice divorced... always like being surrounded by male attention. Thanks for being the case study which proves my point.

[@theunknownone5663]

Story two: 🤣😂🤣😂 the mom is delusional af. Blame op for his cheating and saying it's okay when he cheats. Then get hit with the truth about her son liking sausage in his buttonhole. That face gotta be priceless 😭

[@paulineisme]

I am always so annoyed by stories like the last one where people just decide not to pay because they "don't feel it's worth that" or that "you shouldn't be spending that much on a [...]". If you destroy something, you don't pay what you appraise it's original worth to be, you pay what it's original worth is.

[@astronautviolet153]

Story : 3 Op son is 15 he's old enough to deal with the consequences of his action and community services. Or find a way to pay it all back.

[@kbf9644]

#3 “My kid stole a build a bear and had opened it before I knew.” Oh, no. That happens. Teachable moment. “Will my son go to jail?” No, little kids won’t go to jail for that. “He’s only 15!” 😶 Oh, get out of here with that nonsense. Your thieving, nearly legal adult, son needs to pay tf up.

[@kbf9644]

“I don’t want any sympathy. Again, I don’t want any sympathy. Please, no sympathy.“ Good grief. Nobody’s looking to give you any. Damn. You sound like a self-important douchecanoe that raised a self-important douchecanoe.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

I wonder what else the OP let his kid get away with if he tried to let that slide. Even if you can't pay the money back you still make it up to the person some way. Have the kid do chores for the brother or something. After update: The OP is absolute trash. "He's nerdy and collects toys so he's not worth anything". And he didn't see his kid stealing and devaluing the thing as a big deal until he learned the kid wanted to sell it. What type of nonsense is that? You shouldn't just let your kid steal from family period. Why do you need a deeper intention to teach your kid that stealing is wrong?

[@Ackalan]

I don't understand why people conflate "teenager" with "child", you're not a child just because you're under 18, FFS.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Really. Toddlers don't have impulse control yet, but a teenager? No. He knew exactly what he was doing. He needs discipline now or he will find out the hard way the world won't excuse his awfulness.

[@meirin5316]

@@untitled-gv3qp yeah and how dare the brother be nerdy and happy with it and collect ... toys... what a gross nerd with no value for family! plus they had no contact and a bad relationship which obviously cant be ops fault! its the worthless brothers fault. he should have just used to money on ops family instead on his useless hobbies. fr tho. this dude makes me so mad that i feel like screaming. i have 6 siblings. i had to raise all of em and was the black sheep. how this fucked up our relationships with each other and my mental health you can imagine but even when i fight and am sick of my siblings to death and just want em to fck off after all they have dome and are doing to me i blame my parents for the rift between us and dont talk shit behind em. if i have an issue i say it to someone elses face in a manner that you can GASP mend the relationship. its still hard since some of em i dont wanna be around (one babytrapped her bf to keep him so sry but i hate her for this) but i would only talk the truth and not make em seem less of a human or shittalk em. fck this

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story three: That kid must be squirming with what his uncle is doing: demanding payment for stolen, damaged property. Aaaand he's fifteen. Old enough to know that what he did was wrong. *Never steal from your family, or anyone at all if you don't want to get in trouble.* 😬 After update: *And it was calculated!* I'm glad he got consequences for being a thief! And a dumb one at that (he took the figure out of the package.)

[@meirin5316]

and the op still doesnt feel bad about it. what a pos. no wonder the child ended up like this

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@meirin5316 Kind of reminds me of the redditor who pressed charges on his nephews. *It took police intervention to have the parents of those children to start...well, parenting. Like they were supposed to do.* The eldest is still an AH, refusing to accept fault and blaming everyone and everything for his poor behavior. And being alienated by everyone in the family since the OP was not the first family member he and his siblings robbed. 😬 I do wonder if the OP (as well as his wife) in this story was lenient with his son. Fricking teen planned with a friend to steal an expensive item, only to fail at that. 😬

[@amandab8433]

Last Story :While OP did end up doing the right thing his attitude still makes him an AH. It's no wonder that his brother distanced himself, he probably has had to deal with OP's disgusting attitude his whole life. Most people collect things that they love like sports memorabilia, guitars, wine, works of art, etc. Would OP think of them as "Nerds"? I hope the brothers goes NC again.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 3- wtf?! He’s 15! Old enough to know better! The “ family “ argument is bs. The kid needs consequences.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Story #3 update: You should've just had your brother press charges in the first place, your son's 15. He should know better!

[@spinmaster0]

Story 3 - Family or not, once you have determined the value of the goods, you need to pay it back. Does not matter what the age is or that it is family. People have to face the consequences or make amends to the wronged party. Even 8 year olds should be punished - obviously not jail but something more appropriate. The kid here is not going to be covered by the parents, not that I blame them.

[@x1tekja]

Story 2 . Really feel for op. Her ex husband knew what he was doing was horrific and immoral and still had the gall to blameshift. Pathetic!

[@InvasionAnimation]

What kind of idiot doesn't know taking it out of the package drastically decreases the value.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 3 I'm glad op wised up. His son deserves the legal trouble.

[@Ospyro3em]

Still doesn't sound like she's fully learned though- the way she describes her brother is very ignorant.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

He’s still a judgmental dipshit that thinks his brother is a loser for being a nerd and not starting a family.

[@dylanpalmer5151]

Honestly, OP in third story sounds like the kind of person who would describe "relentless bullying" as "lighthearted ribbing". I find it extremely difficult to believe that the reason why they drifted apart had nothing to do with OP's attitude of "my nerdy brother".

[@zayinthesky]

Lol no not really. Just listening to the way OP talks about his brother, it’s no surprise his kid is the way he is. OP is a major AH

[@fiyahquacker2835]

The op definitely didn't wise up he just tried to act like he has to relieve the torrent of comments going at him.

[@phtevlin]

#2 I heard of a Muslim couple who were caught in a similar situation. The man & the woman were under enormous pressure from family to get married & crank out grandchildren. One problem--they were both gay. So...they married (families were happy, it was a "good match")...and n the course of time, they dutifully cranked out the grandbabies. They did it by artificial insemination (his sperm). He was able to keep his boyfriend, and she her girlfriend. Everyone was happy. Your ex could have done likewise, and not involve you.

[@MortalOrder]

That reminds me of another story where the guy was gay and the “woman” he married was a transman. They both were pressured into the marriage but agreed to it for their own convenience. The two ended up falling in love.

[@757Bricksquad]

Story 3: wow, listening to OP, especially in that update, I am not at all surprised he raised a little shit of a son. 15 years old and not only stole $2200 from a FAMILY MEMBER, but planned it ahead of time😢 no less. And are you joking me? You’re raising a child and you don’t have $2000 saved up for a rainy day fund in these situations, so your let your child that you’ve done a pisspoor job of raising get charged with a felony… Just awful person.

[@WhtAbtBob10]

Story 2: I was all ready to come in and say that outing the ex is never ok but I'm going to go with NTA. She was intentionally put in a bad situation by her ex to save himself at her expense.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "Don't go or you'll ruin her _special day!"_ What about _Andrew's_ special day? Op was literally invited by the groom himself, if they don't show up then it's ruined for the groom but who cares about his feelings right 🙄

[@mrdad-zl9zl]

Well if you listen to the update it turns out the bride never said she didn't want OP at the wedding. The mutual friend made that up. So the only issue in that story is the mutual friend spreading incorrect gossip

[@PowerStruggle555]

last one: OP is TA. when I heard Bobba Fett toy....I was like...oh no. That toy. Damaging and/or stealing it is like stealing a priceless artwork from a musem. You can count on one hand how many there are out there with a mint card (aka the packaging). Its considered a holy grail among star wars collectors. Its so rare because it was meant for original release but before it hit shelves there was essentially a recall. It had a missile in its backpack that would launch. They relized this was a serious choking hazard if shot in a kid's mouth (happened with a battlestar galactica toy). so they redid it where the missile didnt launch. not many survived. But they exist. Its considered one of the rarest, most valuable toys out there. its still worth money out of packaging (unless he lost the missile) but big difference. Like $5000 in packaging, $200 without (maybe)

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2 had every right to tell her former MIL about her ex. It's his own fault! OP didn't ruin his life, HE did. He lied to make her the bad guy, so as far as I'm concerned, he deserved what he got. As for the update, this is why I absolutely hate that religious, small town mindset. Small town mindset results in small minds, and that goes double for Mormons. You'll never meet a more insufferable, two-faced bunch on the planet. OP is objectively wrong when she says "we're not all like this". Ten bucks says she's either an anomaly, or she's lying/delusional. I have many ex-LDS friends who were excommunicated and shunned by their entire family for something as insignificant as enjoying Sci Fi. Another was shunned because she liked playing video games. A third was shunned because she was SAd and was punished for trying to come forward, as the man who did it was the son of some important guy or other within their religious hierarchy. So yeah, OP, don't you dare try to tell me Mormons are good people. They absolutely are not.

[@autumnnz1]

Story 2 NTA. Don’t treat another person as a brood mate, pregnancy is risky and sometimes life threatening.

[@terramarini6880]

Story 2. He could have found a girl from his denomination who also wanted a "cover marriage" (I'll be your beard, you be my... whatever?) it happens frequently and no one needed to be hurt. Guy was a self serving douche nozzle here.

[@rebag3545]

Story 3/stolen toy: Just at the title I was like "He opened it didn't he?". Also OP in their updates is like "I'm not saying this to get pity" like they were saying anything pity worthy. Just sounded like they didn't respect their brother cause He'S nERdY 🥴

[@maurer3d]

Story 3: Your 15 year old son stole an action figure........ If he was like 5 I could understand you asking AITA, he's 15 old enough to know what he did was wrong, and old enough to get a job to pay your brother back. You should fund a replacement figure for your brother, then make your kid get a job till he pays you back... Also you can sell the opened figure, usually for about 10% what the carded one is worth. Also DO NOT just buy a replacement, because you may get screwed over by a scammer selling you the wrong version or quality level figure. Story 3 Advise for the Brother: Insure and secure your collection already..

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Story #3: Your son devalued his Boba Fett. That means he committed private property theft and damage. That's coming out of your savings if not his. Otherwise, he could and would be entitled to have your son arrested for these crimes because items worth $1k+ makes this a felony. Pay up or you break the scale as a mom for not teaching your kid right from wrong. Especially since to your brother, this is MUCH MORE than a toy, this was a collector's item your son devalued after stealing.

[@shylavender]

S1: so glad that there was a mature and happy resolution! 😊 That mutual so-called “friend” is garbage though, just stirring the pot and causing problems. What a horrible snake! I hope they all ditch that person

[@jimbobjones9330]

Story 3: The OP pisses me off so much with his high school "look! he's a nerd!" crap. I'm a father AND a nerd. Screw OP for thinking he's somehow better than people because he watches sportsball (because you just know he's one of those "See! I live vicariously through actual athletes" types)

[@ondank]

Story 3: The way OP posts about their brother is genuinely horrific. Should go no contact

[@PowerStruggle555]

knew op's son in last story probably knew what he was doing. no teen simply steals a toy. unless he knew how important it was for his uncle or he knew the value. knew taking it out would be the same as spray painting art. if it was a kid (like 7) it would still be wrong but he'd most likely doing it because toy was cool. 15 year old would do it maliciously. theft is theft. kid should face charges. you cant be like "oh Im going to steal this expensive thing to resell it." and basically get a slap on the wrist. because its family makes it far, far worst.

[@CyeOutsider]

Story 2: how much more could OPs ex ruin her life? He lies to her about his sexualiry, so he can trick her into having kids, cheats on her the entire relationship, spreads rumours about her cheating around, town, opens the door to constant harassment, breaks into her house, forces her to leave her job, and possibly the town. What a complete ahole.

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

The collectable story. I was like. Okay... What was it and was it taken out the box? My eyes widened when I heard a Boba Fett in the box. And then heard the boy is fifteen... Fifteen! I'm sure he's old enough to know not to steal. Also, OP sounded like they didn't see why it's so big it's out the box. Edit: It's good hes learning but OP still doesn't get it. At all. He seems like he doesn't respect his brother from the way he wrote about his brother. Idk. But yeah, that kid needs to learn.

[@Songbirdstress]

I know my son stole 2 000 dollars from his uncle and I don't get the big deal. Not surprised they have a bad relationship. If you have to count your spoons when your family leaves, it's not going engender trust...

[@BruinPhD2009]

OP’s description of his brother was pretty obnoxious. I guess he wrote that to cast himself as the hero, deserving of some sort of relief from the comment section. When I heard the kid googled the value of the collectible before stealing it, well, I was done with the lot of them. Dude’s a jerk and his brother should probably return to “no contact” because it sounds like he had a good reason for going that route in the first place.

[@BankruptMonkey]

Running a con to have a fake marriage is despicable, he can cry to pyramid scheme friends since that's how low he went. He could have had an honest fake marriage with a closeted lesbian or a knowing straight woman, but instead chose to run a con on someone who genuinely cared about him then threw her to the wolves when things went south. He sucks and doesn't get to play victim.

[@cayo2031]

Story 1 how does the bride expect her husband not to invite his best friend/ best man for his wedding? Will bride not invite her own male friend if Andrew didn’t like him? It’s just insecurity and a lil jealousy

[@capsizemoonz2251]

What

[@immapotato1]

from the update sounds like the mutual friend was being a busybody. the type of person who insists an abusive parents MUST attend their NC child's wedding and anyone who disagrees is wrong including said child who's wedding it is.

[@cayo2031]

@@capsizemoonz2251 the op is the best man in the wedding and the wife expect op not to be at the wedding cos she’s female but at least they sorted it out in the end maturely

[@capsizemoonz2251]

@@immapotato1 bro what are you talking about thats a different story

[@capsizemoonz2251]

@@cayo2031 ah ok

[@theunknownone5663]

Story one: how come it's only her special day? What about him? Is it not his day too? These friends are drama queens and should be cut out. Save yourself future trouble.

[@LadyBern]

Story 3. Who in the hell was going to pity the op? Really? I'm glad others were also picking up on the way op wrote things.

[@shells500tutubo]

NGL, I thought the kid was between five and ten years old, because what idiot doesn't realize that these collectibles lose their value when they are out of the box? I'd say even very young kids who like collectibles know this. The son is not only a thief, he is a stupid thief.

[@rorimorgant.williams6647]

My husband and I are both sci-fi/anime nerds and we raised our children to appreciate all forms of literature and art form. They have stated that when we did that there will be a battle royale over our swords, models, artwork, pottery and anything else fan related. My husband’s costumes go to my son (almost same size) and mine to my daughter (almost same size) and my son doesn’t want any of the makeup. Jewelry is a grey area.

[@chrisrose323]

WHAAAAT?! A parent that acculy want to correct what is wrong and let thier kid facr the music? What a wonderful post to see!

[@amemooress6291]

I'm actually impressed the OP in story 3 let their son face consequences for their actions.

[@richardweighill8556]

The thieving son is 15? I thought she was talking about a 5-7yr old. That kid needs a job and forced to pay every penny for a replacement.

[@wiggilytaco7570]

He uses a woman as a cover up and then uses her as a shield. I don’t think she should have exposed him but when someone keeps making your life shitty for their own benefit you can’t expect ppl to keep respecting you.

[@itazuranakisu]

NTA but I can understand the fiance's feelings because there are relationships when a partner will tell you "don't worry about x they're just a friend" when it's a lie. And expressing that insecurity, depending on your partner, may not turn out the way it did here which is unfortunate. Insecurities happen but it's the way you react and behave (reasonable or irrational) because of your insecurities is entirely up to you as are the consequences.

[@billy9144]

The first story is pretty straight forward. If anything, not going to the wedding when you are the best man is the ahole move. Don't screw your friend over because his girl acts jealous. That's petty garbage. If she can't handle the fact that you guys are best friends, then she shouldn't be dating him at all. She shouldn't be asking him to ditch his friends. Obviously his friend wants him there and he's the best man, so OP doesn't really have a choice. If attending a wedding and showing couple support will ruin the day, then that girl is far too insecure to ever have a long term relationship.

[@marionmarshall8438]

At 15 he knew theft was wrong, he should charged with theft.

[@krafka]

Outing the ex story: NTA. Under normal circumstances outing someone is unacceptable, but there ARE exceptions, such as a public figure who engages in anti-gay rhetoric, pastors who preach homosexuality is a sin, legislators who enact anti-gay laws and such. Another critical exception would be that OP's ex threw OP under the bus to save himself. He blamed OP and lied to make himself look better in the divorce. By lying about OP, he forfeited all rights and consideration for OP to keep his secret. Further, his lie actually made OP the target of harrassment by his family. Frankly, by cheating on her, he absolved her of any responsibility to keep his secret.

[@JackieSkellington]

1st story, NTA. Men and women can be close friends! OP is happy for her friend and looking forward to being auntie and his fiancee is insecure. Got to wedding for your friend and be cordial to bride. If you don't, I guarantee she will try to cut you out of their lives altogether. Hopefully, groom has some testosterone to stand up to fiancee!

[@sockmonkeyjg]

whoa story 3: as a somewhat avid collector i fully think the poster was the AH! some of these figures are worth a lot of money and i would go insane if someone did that to a 2000 dollar collectable and she is so dismissive, if it was a 2000 dollar tv then it would be the same.

[@jimbobjones9330]

You just know with his disdain for "nerds" that OP has at least one piece of sports memorabilia worth hundreds of dollars and a sports car that the kids aren't allowed to eat in. And he'd lose his shit if anyone damaged either.

[@Jeremiahbullfr0g]

Story 3; yeah YTA. Your son is not a baby. You owe him the full value and tbh I hope he sues you and makes you deal with court fees on top of it since you’re acting so entitled. Like what? You obviously owe him. If he borrowed your car and crashes it, you’d expect him to pay you back or buy you a new car, no?

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Story #1 and update: I'm glad you got everything settled between yourself and Jess. I hope all goes well in the future for you.

[@NottyAries]

That's a conversation best discussed and decided by the couple. You need to tell your best friend and let him talk with his future wife.

[@JackieSkellington]

2nd story, he shouldn't have hidden his orientation, to family or OP. Secrets always come out

[@aliciacaley599]

Hubby has a friend has a best friend like OP and I LOVE her. She is the best and is like a bonus sister and a bonus auntie to our little boy.

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA. If he did not want this to blow up he should have taken responsiblity for the divorce some way. But then it seems this guy has never been a friend of truth or responsibility.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S1: I honestly don't know what the issue is with having friends of the opposite sex. My best friend is of the opposite sex, was in my wedding party, went to both bachelor and bachelorette parties and is now probably just as much my wife's friend if not more. If you have a solid relationship and you aren't a cheating scum bag this isn't a difficult concept.

[@DaniReadsFantasy]

Story 3: The more OP says the more it sounds like he has some hatred towards his brother, even when giving background info he implies his brother is a disgusting nerd. The only reason he chose to do anything is because of the proof of obvious malice by his son. The brother should cut them off after he gets his money and all legal shit is done because this can happen again and this time the son will hide his plans better especially now that he knows to keep the collectable in the box. Smh

[@InDeathWeLove]

I don't think it's hatred. More like disdain. He thinks he is better than his brother.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

15yo son is old enough to know not to steal. If police got involved he might be forced to have therapy and might prevent further antisocial behaviour from him in the future. Demanding the money now was ridiculous.

[@Minris1]

Story 2. I bet every single person (that even slightly condemned, her name outing her cheating husband to her harassing in-laws), would absolutely be full cheer squad if it was a hetro woman going nuclear on her cheating husband. He cheated. He lied. He pretended he was someone else. Solely for his own benefit. Purely to maintain the love and admiration of his family/friends, that he knew if they knew, who he really was, MAY not be so loving/admiring. Do, in total disregard of ANY thought of op’s feelings and her (real) love. He hid the truth. This is WORSE than a husband cheating. This is full blown deception/betrayal/narcissism. Using her love and her trust as a tool for his own gain. She is absolutely not the a - hole, and in fact is a hero who deserves our outmost support and admiration. It disgusts me that there are people saying she should have shown more understanding. REALLY? She was used and abused in the worst way. Her love and vulnerability were used to hide his weakness to stand up and say who he really was. He shat all over her as if she was nothing. Inconsequential. Because that’s obviously how he saw her. This is a woman that should be consoled, supported and admired for her strength to tell her story. Shame on those of you that say otherwise. SHAME.

[@EnDB]

It's so weird. Why link up with, date, commit to, get engaged and married when the whole time they don't trust their fiancé?? Ultimately, that's what this means. OP makes her uncomfortable because she does not trust her mate.

[@Generic819]

If Jess doesn't want OP to come, then JESS needs to tell her. OP shouldn't be making decisions based on third party information.

[@tamsel814]

Incorrect information at that.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

2. Ex should have controlled his mom and not make OP as a problem and quilting her for divorce ..sure she is guilty that does does not want to be with a gay man(sarcasm) He was dishonest, he should have find a lesbian that is in same position and be a donor and have kids while both having their relationships. NTA. It is not ok to just marry someone to hide your partner and have a child whole OP think she is happily married loved and not cheated on.

[@peteranon8455]

Oh wow, interesting solution. I'm more of a "get out of dodge" kinda guy, but I like the innovation.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

@@peteranon8455 I would keep anyone's secret, not mine to tell..but the moment that person uses me, abuses me, put me as a shield to get all the damage and attacks without even asking if he can do it, that is the moment that person is no longer a friend or anything to me, and I go full truth...Lets burn this shit down, and watch it all burn while eating popcorns watching the show. When you can you should get out of dodge but when someone attracts you, make you a villain with lies...oh no...Truth is powerful weapon, no one can beat it. Ex if he at least respect OP as a human being could just said to his mommy - It did not work out, I do not love her(that is actually part of the truth) and end the conversation. That is train of thought :D

[@ashh4929]

Sounds like the mom is a level of stupid you just can't reason with. I mean, when she confronted OP, she gave the reason they were getting divorced because OP wanted too much sex, oh wait he cheated? Oh, well, you aren't giving him enough sex. The mental gymnastics with that is bamboozling. This backwater wackadoodle doesn't have the sense she was born with.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

@@ashh4929 Who knows what her son told the....clearly lies and blamed OP for it. Not cool. If only he said- I do not love her, it is not going to work, this is for the best. That would be the end of the story. That women had bad info...Who knows maybe he even painted himself as a victim and this is why she attacked and harassed OP. IT does not even matter. Not her problem, she told the truth, after the attack on her personality and looks. Insane that ex MIL and her EX too. Good riddance.

[@jusminejustice2794]

Honestly as a person a part of the LGBTQA+ community, I'm disgusted with that man. I will respect the ones who cuts contract with toxic family members and live their best life. I Will respect someone who drags someone along to save their skin.

[@krazzygranny7032]

1st story, whether male or female best friends on the grooms side I always thought it would be hilarious for the "best person" to have one of those wrestling type championship belts with the words "best friend" and during the speeches hand the belt over to the bride since husband and wives should be each others number 1

[@Asahiart]

Figurines/lego still in their original package have a better value over time than the stock market , so it's not just "toys", those are actual financial assets on top of being cool looking .

[@fcold9402]

1. You are invited and asked to stand with the groom. Of course you go. If the bride has an issue she needs to talk to her groom not have a third party ask you not to attend.

[@rathorclemenger6125]

The update was very nice and mature.

[@DisneyChar]

He ruined his own life by not handling his family and putting it on you.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Cheaters are neither entitled to nor deserving of secrecy of their sexuality. If the boyfriend was bi, and cheated with another woman, I think you could argue against speaking about his sexuality. But here, his sexuality is directly related to his cheating.

[@ishtar990]

I get nasty when confronted over something I havent done. If I was in OP's shoes i would of contacted my ex and said "Either you get your mother off my back or so help me I WILL OUT you to anyone who will listen starting with your mother. Your choice. You have one week to resolve this or I WILL, no this is not a threat, this is a PROMISE." then hang up.

[@onmike7944]

Theft of an item worth $2,000 is a felony. Yikes.

[@calmingvoice8646]

I know my son stole from you, but FAAAAMILY.

[@Aree_TD_]

Exactly, family doesn’t steal from family. That’s the number one rule. If you steal from me you’re no better than a common thief off the street.

[@brittaniharold1880]

Story 1 NTA.You didn't hear this from Jess or Andrew.You heard this from a 3rd party.Why would the mutual friend tell you instead of staying out of it and telling Jess to tell you that she doesn't like you.

[@JackieSkellington]

1st story-so glad to hear worked out! So many don't

[@HeoBaby24]

3rd story Op is the type of person who will get upset at family for calling him out

[@artemishallihan8973]

Story 2 - ya know the family is effed up when mom treats adultery like a little rough patch OP should work through with her son, but homosexuality is the hard line.

[@videofan1010]

"My brother is overreacting." Nope!

[@adjwindu70]

Story 3.. oof. An in box boba fett.

[@IzzyPR2010]

Uninvited? Isn't OP being told this by a third party, doesn't mean the bride isn't the one who doesn't want her there. If she get an invite, go to the wedding. Just let the friend know that this third party is saying this.

[@kittiekat10105]

once you use your closeted status to hurt someone else, you lose your right to its protection.

[@soCyberWasTaken]

Do you still do Patreon/channel memberships? I just watched a video of yours from 2 years ago, and heard you plugging those. If so, I'd be happy to support you in those ways

[@tribalecho6108]

Story 2 is literally my life where the guy got away with it for a long time 😅 found out after the 3rd kid was 13

[@Andbit365]

Call me petty or childish but I would’ve blast everything out if someone cheated on me. ( of course not out them but the rest) op is just too nice.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 3: Everyone complaining that OP called it nerdy, like its isn't nerdy stuff. Toy Collecting is Nerdy stuff, and it's cool. I love toy collects but lets not pertend it hasn't been called nerdy for decades. It's cool to be Nerdy now, stop trying to make it sound like it's bad. Let's just be happy he's forcing his son to face consequences with his actions instead of bailing him out. That's the important part, not the fact he doesn't understand his brothers hobbies. He says he doesn't get it but it's his brothers, that's how we should want it to be. If someone doesn't get it and doesn't want to get it, they are just indifferent doesn't bother us about it. He's not calling it weird to his brothers face, he's just Shrugs shoulders okay. Like getting mad at me for calling peoples gym stuff sporty stuff.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

They're complaining about it because the way the op used it was in a "I'm better than this loser because ________________" way.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

@@fiyahquacker2835 But he didn't say. So their making up his feeling from text. He only said his brother is into Nerdy thing, which is true. my sister would say the same thing about me, because she's not into nerdy, she's into goth thing. I'm into nerdy thing. my brother is into sporty thing.

[@brittaniharold1880]

Story 2 NTA.He tricked you into believing that he was straight and wanted you while all this time,he was gay and been with his boyfriend for years even before you married.

[@tom-qj6uw]

Story 2: Why can't you sue a spouse who knowingly used you like that? This is fraud and has wider and more serious consequences than just being defrauded of 10000$. OP was used and wasted many years on that guy who never had any interest in her! And that applies to covert lesbians, too, who use their oblivious male partner for a) a child b) financial stability and c) child and spousal support after the predictable (and possibly pre-planned) end of the marriage.

[@heatherweir8726]

Second story not calling the police because someone who wronged you is family is so stupid. All that does is validate the behavior in the mind of the wrong doer and they will do it again and agae until they do something to someone outside of the family. Then they are screwed because a stranger will not give a crap about them. Especially if they steal something worth thousands of dollars.

[@kittenlover016]

Story 3: As someone who collects figures and has for years, i’d also be LIVID. I always take them out of boxes myself, but removing figures from the original packaging does devalue it by a large margin. At 15 he should have known better. Edit: Glad they’re having the son face the consequences of his actions. It’ll be better for him in the long run.

[@carlrood4457]

Usually the valuations on collectibles note their condition, including whether the package is unopened.

[@carleyglambert-secondchannel79]

The title for story 1 is misleading OP was thinking about not wanting to go, she never said that she was uninvited it was more about the partner was a bit jealous. Both wanted OP there all are happy friends.

[@katphish30]

Hey Markee, someone called Background Noise is using your picture.