My Wife Stole $170k From Our Daughter's College Fund r/Relationships

[@bleachparty8570]

The people calling OP creepy for cuddling his daughter clearly didnt get hugged enough as children.

[@user-mc5vy2vk5n]

Or were hugged the wrong way and cannot fathom the hugs could be innocent / platonic, too...

[@HeoBaby24]

​@@user-mc5vy2vk5n so that doesn't excuse calling someone a creep They wouldn't call someone a creep in real life but willing to do it on the internet

[@user-mc5vy2vk5n]

@@HeoBaby24 of course it doesn't

[@anonmouse15]

​@@HeoBaby24 On the contrary, the immediate assumption towards men is that any contact between children and them must be sexual in intent.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@anonmouse15 it's always and still is that way. My grandma maybe not on purpose but told me if my little female cousin gets between my legs (I was sitting and playing with them) That I should push them away. Like that made feel disgusted with myself. And it's suck Bec girls get away with literal sexual assult (grabbing man, touching men butts,chest etc without consent) But I know for a damn fact if I did any of those things I would be in some deep shit

[@madgevanness4011]

Sudden adoption: gotta give the couple applause for not obsessing publicly over the upcoming adoption until it happened. Which explains why everyone was caught off guard.

[@HonorWillow]

I can't believe that the mum wanted to break Cassie and OP's relationship. It sounds so cute and wholesome and I'm glad he decided not to confess. I'm also glad OP admitted that Andrea tried to get them to take the fall because Cassie deserved to know EVERYTHING. Ew at comments calling OP cuddling Cassie creepy. THEY are the creepy ones sexualising a parent child hug

[@iamhungey12345]

It's Reddit after all.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

The ones that are calling him creepy for it are probably ones like me that did not have a good step parent relationship. My stepfather wanted me as more of a replacement for my mom. It never got beyond inappropriate hugs. But in this case they don't see stepfather - stepdaughter. To them they are father and daughter. It's great that they can have a wonderful relationship like that. That she still feels comfortable enough to be like a little kid again around him and hug and cuddle is great.

[@ComaLies225]

I think OP should have forced Andrea to sell some things or threaten divorce. If Andrea really wanted to save her relationship with Cassie, that’s the LEAST she could have done. The fact that she didn’t want to just says a lot

[@Breezely22]

Story 1. The mom needs to return all of those designer items and then take out loans in her name instead of her daughter. The mom needs to go back to work and pay off the loans.

[@Callimo]

Yeah, OP's parents had the absolute right idea. Sure, OP's soon to be ex has a problem, but she can't get on the road to recovery without consequences.

[@l.michelle3497]

yep

[@amandasunshine2]

Doubt her credit is any good..

[@Jay13340]

right?

[@leopardbutterfly1914]

Maybe mom has no retirement or credit, but if she does then SHE needs to pay the money back first- not the dad!

[@cyberspinosaur1145]

'Congratulations, you're an uncle!' 'Oh cool, did you get a dog or a cat?' 'A human baby' '. . . . .Why?'

[@dragonlord3376]

Story 1: I was so convinced that OP was the bio dad at first, it's sad that Cassie's bio-mom was so ready and willing to screw her over slowly over the course of years like that.

[@YultheYak]

An old friend of mine's mom could have done this- and largely guilt free as it would go on because she would have only looked at her wants and never ever the future effects. Obviously OP's wife is also poor at taking responsibility for ANYTHING. Because of this, I think that OP will do reasonably well in divorce settlements by letting Andrea know that public disclosures would result in all of her wealthy friends finding out how she kept up appearances. The threat of that would rock her shallow world.

[@nadirimyers6643]

Story 1: I’m sure the daughter isn’t dumb I doubt she’d believe her stepdad took her money anyway. I am sure she has also seen her mom come home with hella bags of expensive stuff …. What would he even say he spent 170k on!? 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@simonesanaa5331]

Right! The wife is dumb and selfish.

[@katwiltz1134]

Whatever happened she won't lose Cassie how can you lose what you've already sold. Oh she doesn't want to mess up her retirement well in that case she's not a bit sorry this mom is just sorry she got caught. Not only is she not sorry she wouldn't under any circumstances put herself out because her retirement is hers. This is worse than drugs this is worse than gambling at least most of those people know that they're in the wrong your wife has no clue. Take the rap for her and here's what'll happen Cassie will have nobody to trust. Or Worse Cassie doesn't even know her mom's a junkie something happens to you where does your money go I'm sure Cassie won't be worried about that probably let her mom handle it and that's a great idea right? This b**** needs to lose everything that she has that is a material possession no matter what she buys , it won't fill the rotten hole in her soul. Oh she can't lose Cassie I wonder what would she trade for her daughter? Couple of designer handbags closet full of clothes certainly not her retirement even though she stole the money. If you don't make her tell her daughter you're a s*** person. No way are you getting out of this life with your retirement intact at least your wife will be on Easy Street. Make your wife pay it back it's what you would do to any child to learn a lesson because she hadn't learned anything.

[@amphoteric]

all parties that contributed to the college fund SHOULD pursue legal action. i seriously hope they do.

[@YultheYak]

I do too. But will they be able to? Depends on how it was set up. Given OP's financial detail orientation (which seems to be his default setting) they might well be able to. That, and the fact that Andrea appears to be a dipstick on top of everything else.

[@Misspellednumbers]

Story 1: I don't believe for one second that OP taking the blame would've made his step daughter feel better. If OP's wife stayed with him, Cassie would've still left for good. Why stay with the guy who took 170k? Why is mom staying with the guy who betrayed her for all 8 years??? OP's wife would have to leave him too if she wants an ounce of relationship with her daughter. So OP would've still lost everyone for someone else's mistake. That's not worth it

[@HaizeyWings]

Uhh I'm confused about the genders here. It's OP's wife who took $170k, not "the guy". Also regarding "Why is mom staying with the guy who betrayed her for all 8 years???" I don't see a guy betraying anyone in the story? It sounds like you're confusing OP with his wife. She's the one who betrayed OP and her daughter by stealing the money.

[@Misspellednumbers]

@@HaizeyWings I'm not confusing anyone. I said it under the context that OP would've taken the fall and Cassie believed it. That's why I said that OP accepting blame for someone else's mistake is stupid, because he would have to lose Andrea and Cassie for it to work

[@halbouma6720]

If OP took the blame, you could bet he'd get sued faster than you can blink by Andrea's family for stealing the funds too.

[@HaizeyWings]

@@Misspellednumbers Ahh gotcha, ty for clarifying

[@katwiltz1134]

@@HaizeyWings that's not what happened what happened was she wanted him to take the fall for the things she stole. It comes from the perspective of if he took the fall for her and why would you stay with the man who stole my future.

[@axepagode33626]

Andrea does not have a spending addiction. If she did have it, she would have spent her own money too.

[@stephkais5613]

This! The woman is simply greedy and likely there was a part of her that wanted to sabotage Cassie considering how they don't get along. narc moms are notorious for mistreating their (young pretty smart) daughters

[@l.michelle3497]

interesting take .

[@l.michelle3497]

@@stephkais5613 yes indeed

[@iamhungey12345]

@@l.michelle3497 It makes you think.

[@therealdeathnote3]

And everything she bought was tacky. and poor quality. if you wanna rescue by quality not ugly.

[@Some_Idiot_on_the_Internet]

The fucking nerve of this woman. The sheer unbridled selfishness of her spending was bad enough but to then ask the only person in her daughter's life she can legitimately trust to destroy their relationship for her own sake elevates her to a level of sociopathy that is frankly inhuman. What a monster.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I feel this rage as well. As a single mom of a college student. She has to take loans if she had this college fund I would be so grateful

[@evavocative6975]

First story is heartbreaking, that a child can't trust their own parent at all, but so glad her step-dad is SO MUCH BETTER of a parent than her mother. And on the opposite end, last story was adorable.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I heard this before. Im glad op woke up there is no forgiving this big of a betrayal.

[@crisf7125]

Yeah I heard it before too it was nice to hear the update.

[@legibletiger839]

Story 1: poor Cassie, the level of betrayal that her mum did is horrifying. I would be pressing charges, no two ways about it. I don’t even have kids and I’m angry at the thought of anyone doing something like that to them.

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

My mother stole my college fund; I never got to go to college after, I got none of it back, and she off'd herself before facing consequences. I'm glad OP was there for his kid.

[@YultheYak]

Damn that is crappy all the way around.

[@MrH347]

Story 1: The mom isn’t holding herself accountable, she wanted OP to take the fall and is unwilling to sell the things she stole from her daughter, truly a vile person. Using sex as a bargaining tool for OP to stay just shows just how low she is willing to go. She has a poor relationship with her daughter because she cares more about appearances than her relationship with her daughter and her future. Divorce seems like the best thing. Or a post-nup and a very very short lease. OP has a plan and just needs to follow through.

[@WobblesandBean]

Why is dating at 52 impossible? I didn't meet the love of my life until I was 40! And my god, he BETTER press charges. That's not even his money, it's his parents' too.

[@GDMendezWrites]

AND the money of Cassie's bio-dad. OP didn't even mention whether they know about the money being stolen, I don't think.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: my mom once said that she lost a son. I was like, since when did you have an abortion??? She was referring to our cat, who passed from old age a few years ago 😅

[@annagettings4675]

"Dog or a cat?" LOL!!! That, and 'Auntie Kevin' are the funniest things since the story (another channel) about a guy whose employee of many years decided to go to his office, and just said "I'm gay.". The boss wasn't bothered or anything but he straight up didn't know what to say and said "That's great...(awkward pause), Do you have any ideas on that demographic?" LOL! That one's kept me going for over a week and now I hve these to add to the collection. Markee you're the best! Thanks for the early Christmas present! 🤣❤

[@curiousangel6321]

Makes me think about what my step-dad did to me and my sister. We went from a good head start in life to nothing, and I got a bonus of 90K of debt to my name. Now I'm about to turn 40 and finally close to being able to start my own life. I don't think I'll ever understand how someone can willfully ignore the consequences of their actions if they aren't immediately affected.

[@dylanadavis2118]

Damn. That's awful. Nothing like that has happened to me and I also don't understand it. I honestly over think the consequences of my actions

[@katwiltz1134]

Should have put him in jail.

[@curiousangel6321]

@Kat Wiltz I would have if I had known about it all before the f-er up and died. So that is what it is. I would have given up long ago on the hole existing thing if it weren't for the fact that it would have put my only family in the same bind I was in. ... but yeah I wish a lawsuit would have been able to fix it.

[@ItsYaBoiV]

Man, that adoption story got me rolling. I'd apologize anyway just to clear the air, maybe even explain that OP thought it was going to take longer, and that's why they assumed they got a pet first. I mean, heck, adoption in the state I live in can take LITERAL YEARS, especially if you don't foster first, or go for adopting a family member.

[@therealdeathnote3]

Story one: just sell the cars and ugly designer stuff. She doesn’t want to sue her.

[@YultheYak]

Sounds, by implication, that they have separate finances and all that garbage is in Andrea's name. So if she refuses, then making her do it means legal threats/action.

[@tut28Angel]

Story 1: if the wife gave that much of a F about her daughter's feelings, she would have NEVER stole the money. Its not like she took it because of an emergency.

[@Russman67]

I'm sure that Cassie has been around her mom for the entire time and knows the person that she is. Even if OP wanted to take the fall, Cassie would know where the problem was.

[@Nevertoleave]

Story 1. Tell the daughter, that relationship would be completely broken if the daughter found out it was a lie but an honest discussion means it can get better. Then return whatever you can, sell whatever you can, and put that money in the account. Then she would be going to get help and work double time to put more money in the bank.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Baby boy story: NTA i mean, i would had laughthed if i was OP's brother, your mother is just dramatic. Just tell them you were took off guard and was surprised, congratulations for being an uncle!

[@buckeyenative1365]

Aunt Kevin 🤣 even funnier since OP thought she was naming a pet.

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

story 1, My feeling is she knows, at least subconsciously, somethings off with mom, likely the reason for strained relationship.

[@kanelovec4315]

S1. I don't think wife (future ex) will ever fight or stop her shopping addiction. She been hiding it for years now. What stops her from continue hiding her addiction by playing nice for a few years or playing up an act but spend in secert. With her not want selling the 'stolen' goods she has no guilt or any wants of curing her addiction. She just playing it up so op doesn't leave. She die before she try to cure it. Probably go through a "forgive me I am old and dying" phase.

[@0katsuki0]

My parents adopted my brother on april fools day and called to tell everyone the happy news. yeah a handful of relatives thought it was a prank.

[@thatlycantomboy]

story 2: I could immediately tell that OP was just misinterpreting teasing lmao. like I think it would be a requirement to tease any of my friends/family members about that sort of thing it’s just funny

[@daveadams3795]

WOW, that was an awesome story and a true example of what a good dad is, regardless of genetics.

[@Athlynne]

If I were OP, only way I'd consider not dumping the wife is telling her she's going to borrow and repay every cent Cassie needs for college. It all goes under her name.

[@carlrood4457]

Isn't it great how a loving parent making you pancakes can raise your spirits, if only a little.

[@samx36]

Story 2 OP is hilarious because like... yes a human baby adoption IS sudden and a confused person isn't a reason to be upset at.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Calling the Divorce card sometimes is an overreaction. But... This is warrented.

[@gigicat3943]

Story 2- Hilarious!!!! OP needs to keep in mind that when people have/get a baby they act like they've invented it and lose their sense of humor.

[@happysheepies7321]

😂 THIS

[@295Phoenix]

Story 1 -- Andrea: I don't want to drive Cassie away from me permanently. Also Andrea: I will ruin Cassie's life.

[@crisf7125]

I'm really glad to hear the extended update for the first story...

[@OD1261]

Story 2: I could tell it was a joke, and I'm listening to this story being told by a third party on a KZbin video! I also come from a family that likes to rag on each other, and i could totally hear my dad making this exact same joke. Also glad the update turned out to wholesome.

[@carlrood4457]

Even the OP admitted it was a possibility before talking with everyone. I think Reddit commenters are so used to messed up families that normal ribbing isn't recognized.

[@monserrath270]

Story 1, Andrea needs to let her daughter decide what to do with the car and all the other things since it was all paid for with her money. All that stuff is Cassie’s. I cannot fathom how someone can go through that much money, unless they are buying houses and super expensive cars. My family has never bought any car over 7k. I understand lots of places are pretty expensive but as far as day to day living I can’t imagine dropping 10k on lousy shoes.

[@ReyK_47]

The sudden adoption post: My brother isn't neurotypical, and I can totally picture him being confused in the same way. 😂 And I've definitely seen him misinterpret jokes as being completely serious. Glad they got that cleared up, and their family sounds wonderful!

[@felix0-014]

Story 2: NTA and tbh it makes sense to ask considering how many "pet parents" there are. Adoption can take yeaaaaars and a lot of money so being like "tadaa you are an aunt/uncle" out of the blue would throw a lot of people off lol

[@surrealistgirlx]

Story 1: I did a quick dive into legal suggestions. Your wife is financially abusing you & your daughter. Get copies of any documentation as proof. Lawyers suggested that you get a mandatory injunction so she can't sell any assets. She could "sell" them to a friend for a pittance, have this person store them & them get them back. It was suggested that you get a forensic account but you appear to have that under control. My father stole $50,000 when he was divorcing my mother. He put it in a friend's name. His friend gave the money back. My father is wealthy; he has a financial advisor. My mother died in a nursing home suffering from a terminal disease & Alzheimers. Hug your daughter. Get both of you individual & family therapy for the two of you. You are an amazing father. Anyone drawing perverse conclusions should go kick sand. Lots of hugs for the both of.

[@axepagode33626]

Stole College Money Story: I can't believe OP is paying for this and letting his wife off the hook scot-free. She should be emptying her 401k to pay back what she stole. She didn't just steal from Cassie. Other people contributed to that fund. YTA for not holding your wife financially accountable her actions. Because of OP's actions, his wife wins.

[@YultheYak]

Axe, no she won't win. Because even if she gets off scot free this time, she is too stupid to get away with this crap forever. She can't plan. Can't use self restraint. Can't see outside of herself. She will die alone and despised because she will scuttle any who try to help her. She will also see herself as the victim of.. God knows what. Can't honestly say that I feel anything about her save disgust.

[@axepagode33626]

@@YultheYak He is paying instead of making her pay with her 401k money. She has already won.

[@YultheYak]

@@axepagode33626 Not quite so fast Axe. She has lost on all of the non-financial fronts and other forces are in play besides OP. Things are still likely to hose her over financially in the end as well.

[@axepagode33626]

@@YultheYak Huh? OP vs Andrea? Andrea wins as OP is paying Andrea vs Cassie? Unknown. However, with OP paying, Cassie isn't losing anything. Andrea vs Other People? Who knows.

[@YultheYak]

@@axepagode33626 Axe, OP has paid nothing YET. That is why I am saying to hold on. One set of grand parents is threatening legal action. OP is also influenced by outside opinions (hence coming to Reddit- thank God or you would certainly be correct). Will OP be out money in the end? Almost certainly; Andrea could likely sell everything she has and come up short because she is that stupid, self centered and poor a planner. But even so, it does not make her a winner. She loses too.

[@beast11135]

How tf do you spend $170k on clothes and shoes?

[@rebeccalahti9468]

Stupidly high price name brands

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Designer CRAP. She prefers objects over her own BLOOD. She wants to look like she’s important because she lacks depth and personality instead she is a Gucci purse

[@potatoempress5731]

She bought a mercedes.

[@beast11135]

@@potatoempress5731 yeah I posted that comment before I heard the full story.

[@fufufuaru]

that Aunt Kevin story LMAO

[@nicknitro86]

The thing is, their step parent step child relationship is always only held on by a thread. No matter how strong it is, this would destroy it.

[@Callimo]

Wait whose?

[@nicknitro86]

The op is her step dad, not real dad. I'm saying that this lie, taking the fall, could irreversibly destroy their relationship.

[@HaizeyWings]

This isn't true. Parent-child bonds are not dictated by blood relation. OP even describes that his stepdaughter is much closer to him than her mother. Of course many step parents come into a child's life later on and don't form a strong bond, but it's not true in every case. And following the same reasoning, would you say that the relationship between adopted children and their adoptive parents are always at risk of being destroyed? Methinks not

[@nicknitro86]

You can tell yourself it isn't true, but the vast majority of the time it is. It's an even bigger betrayal when someone comes into your life to treat you like their own only to have that foundation shattered than for your genetic parent to.

[@Callimo]

@@nicknitro86 I mean, OP's stepdaughter did say that she wouldn't have believed OP anyways, and would have been upset that OP was covering for her mom. Here's the thing, kids know who actually will be there for them, DNA related or not. The whole mentality of "family means everything" doesn't guarantee you won't be cut off if you treat bio-relatives badly.

[@kerryday]

The dog Uncle story is hilarious. Anyone in the family who doesn't think that is hysterically funny is a drip

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

$25k a year into a college account is insane. Must be nice to be that rich

[@katwiltz1134]

Working smart or working hard I find it ridiculous simply because of the state of colleges in this day and age. Indoctrination camps special agenda class money rackets out the wazoo but better to put that money in your own bank to pay for college then getting a high-interest loan that you can't even get adjusted later on that's how the government screws you I mean unless you do nothing then they're down to help you out.

[@carlrood4457]

Story 2: I'm wondering if he's correct and simply not recognizing the light ribbing/sarcasm. This is literally one of those funny stories families tell for years. I can see them telling his nephew in a few years and the kid will play as a dog for a couple days. Then he'll ask for a dog. Edit: Posted before the update. Nice to see the family is well balanced.

[@sammielopez620]

Story 1: Has the daughter applied for scholarships? I’m pretty sure that can help out until OP can figure things out. Either way, the daughter deserves to know the truth, it’s her life that is on the line. As for the mother, I would write an official Contract where she has to pay for every single last cent or else she gets a divorce, but also that she must confess everything online. I mean everyone, family, friends, etc.

[@summerdowlig]

It's not the dad responsibility to pay it back he didn't steal it. The wife needs to get a full-time job and pay it back, Also, the wife was skimming money every chance she GOT and when you guys need the money she didn't help and stole from her own child.

[@Hedoneo0]

Dude wtf she thought he would take the blame for that divorce her now asap leave her in the dust

[@zeroflight6867]

Wife didn't learn a thing. She kept trying to buy her way out via favors & such.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Story 1: pressing charges so her restitution could give out of garnished wages.

[@bigsmooth2001]

She stole 200k there is no going back from that

[@georgvonsauer2618]

Divorce should seriously be considered...Yes, you can start dating at 52...your wife has some serious character flaws...theft and lying by omission...

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

The fact he even considered taking blame says a lot about his relationship. Poor guy is browbeaten to heck by a selfish partner

[@Twilight.Knight]

20:07 I mean adopting takes so long to happen so it's not hard to be surprised that it went so fast, plus that's absolutely hilarious

[@natercrash4140]

Absolutely love the fact that you ended the episode on a very wholesome very uplifting and funny story. Very good choice

[@kristenrdesinski2937]

My grandfather got a kitten, I was teasing him, my mom & my aunt that the kitten was his fur baby, so it was their brother, then I told them that the kitten was my uncle! I kept telling the kitten that he was my Uncle Kitty, so Grandpa decided that was his name. Uncle was Grandpa's best buddy for quite a few years, and Grandpa loved him so much. I always knew that the more he grumbled about the silly things that Uncle Kitty did, the more Grandpa loved it. I miss Grandpa, I really hope that he and Uncle Kitty are together since Grandpa went to be with him almost 5 years ago (at age 96, almost made it to 97).

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "Andrea and Cassie don't get along" and she thought knowingly taking money from her college fund, knowing damn well she wasn't going to pay it back, was gonna make it any better? "Take the fall for a mistake I willingly made and have no intention to fix. My relationship with her is bad enough, so you have to wreck yours so what little I have will stay intact"

[@annagettings4675]

Markee do you think you could do a special of 2022's funniest reddit posts? That would be so awesome!

[@moimeself1088]

And an update on the box in the fridge!

[@HonorWillow]

The adoption story is funny. I don't get why they are so upset. OP wasn't trying to be rude so who cares? It IS bizaree to have so little lead up, at least for an average person who hasn't experiences many people adopting as I'm not sure how it commonly works with newborns. After Update: this is why you need to be VERY clear with neurodiverse people! Poor OP XD

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Story 1: Wow, I feel awful for Cassie.

[@sleepingkirby]

story 1: If she's offering to take out a loan, but not sell the stuff, that means she's not taking responsibility at all and she didn't truly accept that she's in the wrong. If she's offering anything to stay together, that should include selling ALL the stuff AND taking the loan. If she isn't willing, she's afraid of losing the access to have stuff she bought rather than afraid of divorce. I would also like to argue that she doesn't have a shopping addiction. She has a having addiction not shopping addiction. With shopping addictions, the high is done once you've purchased and have something. It doesn't last to owning said thing.

[@Athlynne]

LOL, Aspie here. My older sister had her first child young, almost 19. I didn't believe her till I saw an ultrasound, because I had believed her so many times before when she was jokingly telling me she was pregnant.

[@jamesw22185]

I feel the op did the right thing here had he taken the fall that would’ve been the dumbest thing ever

[@cheekyweb8055]

She definitely needs to be arrested for this crap.

[@critical-goat]

I feel like had the father taken the blame for the missing money, it wouldn't have made his daughter less angry, but rather more likely to break apart from both of her parents. She loves her dad, she trusts him. To have her think someone she trusted has betrayed her in such a huge way, knowing how important this was to her, would feel like a much worse betrayal and could carry some long lasting trust issues. Edit: I'm glad this was mentioned by one of the commenters in the video

[@immortalsofar5314]

Last story: my initial response when someone tells me they or their partner is pregnant is "oh sh*t!" The best I can say in my defence is that _usually_ I can catch myself before I say it out loud.

[@GeorgiaDLee]

Wow... the awesome step-dad story! you don't find many of those here. When a kid likes their step-dad better than their bio mom... something is VERY wrong!!!

[@carlrood4457]

Unless you're looking to get into certain specific professions where the contacts/reputation are important, Ivy League schools aren't really worth the money. Even then, it's grad schools (Law, Medicine, etc) that are the important part, not undergrad. While she got scholarships, my sister didn't need to go to Dartmouth to become a middle school math teacher.

[@colleens1107]

OP is a good man for deciding to take money from his retirement and has an awesome daughter who wants to find other solutions so that he won’t have to work until 90. His wife is absolutely awful for doing this. I’m honestly amazed Cassie took everything as well as she did.

[@colleens1107]

AND REFUSING TO SELL THE STUFF SHE BOUGHT WITH MONEY SHE STOLE? Press charges on this bitch.

[@emilybarclay8831]

How a kid as mature, level headed and clearly brilliant as Cassie came out of worthless tripe like Andrea is beyond me

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: WTF is with all of the negotiations? OP needs to tell Cassie exactly what has happened. Have the wife take out a loan in her name to cover Cassie's tuition and make her be solely responsible for the repayment. That mother is absolutely despicable! "She loves her daughter" but is fully ok with destroying her future? Nah! Andrea needs to sell all of her I'll gotten goods and work like a mad woman to put some money back into that account!

[@phoenixsky6124]

Story 1. Your wife didn’t care about her daughter while doing it. She didn’t consider their relationship at 10k, 50k, 100k, 150k……. She only got busted.

[@kuno3336]

This man is the measure by which men should be measured when it comes to being a father. He treats his step-daughter exactly the way he would a flesh and blood daughter. He protects his daughter over his wife when his wife is the problem. That's the bar, folks

[@larag3747]

Story 1: I cuddle with my dad, and he is actually my stepdad, but he's also my bestfriend, thats not creepy at all

[@dianecheney4141]

Don’t lie, the lies always show back up and then she won’t have anyone to trust. One parent is better than zero parents

[@AIBot929]

S1: I just knew reddit would make him comforting his daughter creepy... can't have a healthy relationship with a child huh... wierdos

[@beachlife1498]

My wife and I had back accounts started for the kids when they were young. There was a time we needed some of the money. I had just started a new job. We told them what we did and repaid them back about two months later with an extra $100 each added to their accounts.

[@paulinejackson5861]

Husband's fault. If he made enough money to provide for his wife, she wouldn't have had to access the college fund. Hopefully he can do better and increase his income.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I would have bagged the designer stuff and returned them on her. Handed the cash back to Cassie

[@luvondarox]

Andrea should have thought about Cassie when she spent her money. Sounds like Andrea needs to get a loan to pay back that money.

[@coreymartin3218]

Don't take the blame. There's far too many ways for that to backfire.

[@cornbread12987]

OP is an amazing father

[@tashacooper1753]

It’s wild this one guy had like 3 lady’s

[@DisneyChar]

It's not a rock and a hard place, it's a victim and the pern victimizing them.

[@marcinnawrocki1437]

She did not ruin, she shuld get second job and pay back. Normal working hours lets say 9-17 for household, then extra job to pay back. This would teach her to not spend somebodys else money.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

*reads title FRAK THAT divorce Andrea and tell Cassie. Andrea is JEALOUS of her own daughter and blew it all on her clothes ? I hate selfish moms. No joke

[@daisychain5087]

Ugh, he's SUCH A DOORMAT!! He talks about how much he LOVES Cassie, but does he really?! His parents want to press charges against Andrea. GOOD. The first REAL, deserved consequences she would face, which would go some way toward beginning to make Cassie whole. And yet, he IMMEDIATELY shuts them down, 'cause "he'll take care of it". Oh, is he pressing charges against her? Is he forcing her to hand over all of her stolen goods to Cassie, so she can research carefully, and find buyers at the highest possible rate for each luxury item?! Hmmm, 🤔 somehow I think not. No. He's protecting Andrea at that grave cost of Cassie's future. And if he claims it's np, "he'll just work for a few extra decades"; that means he ruins Cassie's life too. By refusing to do the right thing, and holding Andrea to account, or even just allowing others to do so - Cassie is likely to lose her only somewhat reliable, and at least, though flawed, well-intentioned parent - years, if not decades before she would have, from illness due to overwork!! He needs to face the reality of these options if he wants to do right, not only by Cassie, but by his own parents and Andrea's parents too...

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

OP can definitely still date at his age. The fastest growing rate of STDs is among the elderly.

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

Just an FYI: about the guy who was bitching about his ex skimming money off the grocery bill, he's kinda dumb. Not because he was like "taken as a fool" or anything but because women are told by their mother and grandmothers as well as most other women (especially older women) to skim money off the grocery bill or wherever/whenever they could in order to create a savings just in case they needed it if their husband turned abusive and they needed a way out or if their husband decided to leave them high and dry or something along those lines. The reason she didn't reveal her money during financial difficulties "even though she was just a housewife" is BECAUSE she was a housewife. She had no income and that money was her salvation if worst came to worst. Chances are, revealing that money was the absolute last resort of her in order to make sure she'd still have a way out secured if she needed

[@DemonicGoddess]

If they get a divorce and OP keeps the voice call messages offering "fun time" and favors etc it kinda will hurt the EX wifes case. and im all for that She doesnt deserve leniencey

[@bbureau12]

I wouldn't take the fall for someone else's willful abuse of trust. If she's going to grow, she needs to accept the mistake and the consequences. I'd suggest she find a second means of income quickly and replenish at least some of the money she effectively stole.

[@dianecheney4141]

Sell her crap and put it back in the fund

[@dianecheney4141]

You should buy gift cards for the groceries. Don’t let her have access to cash anymore

[@littlepeeper9223]

It could be the "Princess Shop Alot" from story one should take responsibility for her actions.