My Sister Is Demanding We Completely Fund Her Wedding r/Relationships

[@peteranon8455]

Reads title: Don't threaten me with a good time!

[@UchuKejiMovan]

Be like "I'll start the process by blocking you on everything right this instants."

[@UchuKejiMovan]

The part where the mother tells the father to be softer infuriated me. That's the reason she's the way she is because no one truly laid down the law with her.

[@shadowkissed2370]

I sincerely hope her mother is making progress in counseling. Due to her daughter's constant reminders that she had to leave for such a long time in order to get better, the mother has been carrying around guilt ever since she was diagnosed with PPD. This can cause the mother to fall into severe depression. I really hope they keep the daughter away from her, especially now that she is pregnant and has something else to smack her mother in the face with guilt.

[@tiggrainmagma8716]

@@shadowkissed2370 she had to leave for four months not years to try and get better for her new baby (op) and the older kids. It's not as if she has been neglected her whole life. The sister has taken this slight hiccup she had at age five into a lifelong excuse to to be a brat.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@tiggrainmagma8716 4 months away from a newborn and 5 year old is a long time... Also, how do you figure my comment was defending the narcissistic daughter?

[@Endonia-ym3sl]

I can't believe they made the sister trying to SMOTHER her baby sibling into a funny story. That should have been the moment the sister got help.

[@belindawallace5203]

There was a similar “funny” story in my family - I was apparently beaten with a wooden coat hangar and covered over with the cot blankets when I was a baby and I think my sister was probably around three. How on earth does a three year old even manage do that?

[@thuslydude]

I would be livid and itd be one of the first things I bring up in family therapy. It perfectly shows the dynamic: Golden child spoiled rotted sister tries to END LITTLE SISTERS LIFE, but its okay! It's funny!!! Yeah. I wouldn't let that go so easy.

[@Tokuijin]

@@belindawallace5203 Toddlers can be dicks and they're worse in this regard because they have no real understanding of their actions

[@Undomaranel]

It's a coping mechanism. I'm the eldest of 3 sisters, we're all adults now. But back when it was just two of us, I was feeding my imaginary friends at the sand box. The middle/ younger sister, who could barely walk at the time, picked up a rock and hit me in the head with it. Lots of blood, and a lingering scar that I turned into a Harry Potter reference later, but no emergency room because poor and no punishment because I must have deserved it for something. I was 4ish, and yes I have a keen memory as proven by various courts and schools. Fast forward to hair pulling, and it got so bad I learned how to tie my hair up on my own and started knotting it, got yelled at for that. Mom and dad finally told me they were proud of me for not hitting back, but it was time she learned how it felt and to give as good as I got. The mutual hair pulling lasted over half an hour. Hits, kicks, bites, getting screamed at... My toys were destroyed and not replaced because poor, I was blamed because I needed to be responsible and leaving my tiger on my bed where the sister could grab and give her a hair cut was my fault. The dolls all got written and chewed on, same with the puzzles. Legos were set up as a trap for me to step on or get in trouble for making a mess. I had to learn how to pin and wrestle for when she got mad and attacked me (or the other kids) over chores or walking home from school, and I had to get creative when they both grew taller than me (and put up with the obvious bullying for being thr shortest). My entire childhood was being the responsible one, especially during the divorce and teens and more, and that meant I was everyone's punching bag even on the good days. And go figure the moment I started standing up for myself after college? I got disowned for being "just like my father"... aka the man who physically/ sexually/ emotionally abused me. Yes I'm messed up. Yes I've been in and out of counseling for the CPTSD, depression and adjacents. No, I am not in contact with any of them, except the youngest sister occasionally. But how did we get through it? Religion and joking, because to quote Marco from the Animorphs, "Sometimes life just bites, and you'll break down sobbing if you don't smile and laugh at how ridiculous it all is." Jordan Peterson recently quoted that you aren't mature until you put other people first. Well, I was mature for my age, and yes I still have the scars to prove it. She mostly behaved in class, but at home and especially during the divorce and forced, required visitation (yup, or else custody was reopened) and pms and more I became the punching bag again, though when we were finally allowed to get video games she vented on that instead of me (as much). Humor was the coping mechanism for everyone, because it was either that or cry, and I already did enough of that.

[@belindawallace5203]

@@Undomaranel I’m so sorry you had to cope with all that!

[@hi_stranger9156]

Damn $100k for wedding. What a waste of money to spend on just for one day. And that's really nice of OP sister to bans OP to attend wedding and involve in her life. I'm sure OP really happy to hear that.

[@ajb7530]

I know. It's absolutely insane to spend that kind of money.

[@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat]

Don't forget that she also wanted her guests to pay a $150 plus a gift

[@stoopingfalcon891]

Yeah $100k is a huge deposit on even a small house. That kind of wedding is just insane, especially with those 'requests' from bridezilla.

[@dragonstooth4223]

The more spent on the wedding, the shorter it lasts. If a girl would rather drop a house deposit worth of cash on a one day event than a home, you know where her values are.

[@stoopingfalcon891]

@@dragonstooth4223 That's a pretty good assessment.

[@laura86719]

"Fund my wedding or I'll never talk to you again" I don't care about the amount, the answer is always "lol, ok, bye"

[@mysticmaadeehrc2181]

Even more preposterous is the way that's a very real and active danger

[@ditzyhere3138]

I’ve heard this story before. The sister hates OP for *checks notes* her mother’s postpartum after having OP where she stayed in a facility for a *couple of months* and basically bullied their mother her whole life because she wasn’t there to take care of her for those months. Despite having her father and aunt there to care for her and her siblings. Something really wrong with her head.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

I think she was "off" from the very beginning. Yes, she was in her formative years at the time and four months is a long time in a little kid's mind, but for a _five year old_ to go so far as to _attempt to murder her infant sister_ suggests some seriously troubling mental illness. Narcissism is definitely a thing with her, and probably a host of others. I truly fear for that future child.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Mom was probably treated for the PPD, but most likely did not continue therapy after she got home. She probably was out of the worst of it, but was likely still fragile. If she had been in therapy post-hospitalization, she would have had a higher probability of dealing with psycho-sister.

[@owl7072]

"I always felt like the child left out 🥺" You tried to murder your sister. "Be a little softer on her 🥺" _She tried to murder her sister._ She doesn't need people being _softer,_ she needs _discipline_ or she's gonna get her shit rocked one day cause she fucked around and found out with the _wrong person_ cause she thinks she's a princess who can boss people around as long as she bats her eyes and sheds a tear or two or has a big enough _temper tantrum._ "You're attacking me!!" Girl, _I'm_ gonna attack you if anything.

[@jqdsilva]

Hearing what happened at op's sister's wedding reception was akin to me licking all the BBQ sauce off my ten fingers after a full rack of ribs.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Love me some BBQ ribs.

[@WobblesandBean]

Mmmmm....schadenfreude ribs....

[@Tokuijin]

Satisfying?

[@DrewLSsix]

When no contact sounds like a blessing more than a threat.....

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

$150 to attend a wedding is a bit insane. Paying anything to attend a wedding is just absolutely out of your mind

[@viceliag3916]

On top of whatever they'd have to pay just to get there, since it was a destination wedding to a ski resort

[@j.a.y.j.a.y.1107]

@@viceliag3916 on top of whatever expensive ass gift is on the registry.

[@DisneyChar]

Rich people are weird, I can't imagine being better friends than ever after mom manipulated the entire family so she could steal 75k to fund your abusers wedding. MOG must have seen the absolute nightmare that your sister is bringing to her family.

[@viceliag3916]

It sounds like "better than ever" isn't a very high bar here

[@taylorwashington7682]

At least SIL is getting her karma but the mom got off wayyy to easy. I'd honestly wouldn't be able to look at my spouse the same way if I found out they were going to steal from 4 of her children to favor another.

[@PonderingStudent]

It's amazing what behaviour some families will shrug off as a "funny story," when the correct response should be "this child needs serious help NOW." My husband's family treated reacted similarly to some incidents when he was little. Like this family, his parents' normal normal meter is way off.

[@bkgksan9798]

I am Indian American and will never understand why in Western weddings, the guests are paying for things. So the guests will buy gifts for the bride and groom - even that is from a list. And then bridal party has to buy dress of brides choice - usually expensive. I would have made do with a off the rack nice dress that can be worn again. And then they have to pay to go participate in bridal cake tasting etc. WTF. I would say no and I have before and said, I would prefer to be just a guest, thank you! One of my American friend had the audacity to not invite me for the wedding but sent me two links - one to wedding gift list and another for honeymoon find. What? Why do I owe you a gift when you don’t even invite me for the wedding! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@cb9825]

Also girls get so upset when their friends don't ask them to be a bridesmaid🤯 why? You are spared! You don't have to pay for a dress and other things! You get to just show up and party with no stress 🤣

[@quintecence]

I grew up with an incredibly toxic and abusive older sister. She constantly stole my things, hit me and was just generally mean. She was also manipulative and entitled. I cut contact with her about 4 years ago and it was the best decision I've ever made. She then decided I "owed" her money (I was a broke student who never borrowed money from her) and sent voice messages to my mum daily of her screaming and calling me a bitch until my mum gave me money to send to her so she'd stop harassing my mum. She then decided my mum was abusive (she's not) and cut contact with the rest of my family - my mum wrote her out of the will 😂

[@starbird3939]

This is the first timw I have heard this story that actually talked about how the wedding went. Sister is an extremely toxic person who left a scar on OP’s family that they are trying to recover from. However, it seems now the SIL has a MiL who will dish out that toxicity and pettiness tenfold. I know people were extremely harsh on Op’s mother and she did fuck up majorly-however, I will acknowledge she was a major victim like Op since sister was using mother’s mental illness for her own gain. I hope she and OP can recover and possibly reestablish their bond now that sister is gone

[@MovableNu]

Also, I think Sister is gonna be shocked and horrified when she realizes her Husband likely wants to keep peace with MIL over her. Plus, the rest of her in-laws will take MIL’s side also. She’ll be utterly overwhelmed by someone more determined to be a main character with more resources, more practice, and more enablers than herself 😖

[@starbird3939]

@@MovableNu indeed. Couldn’t happen a more wonderful person /sarcasm

[@jessicah864]

I’ve been going through a hard time lately. I’ve been binge listening to a ton of your videos almost all day for the past two or three weeks just to keep my mind off of my current miserable circumstances in life. Just wanted to let you know how helpful your channel has been. Thank you.

[@anotherone1532]

Just FYI if there is about 200 people at 150 per person that is $30,000 dollars extra, which feels insane.

[@alexius23]

My nephew is getting married. Both he & his fiancée are both in their mid 30’s. They are clear that there is no bridal registry. You could donate to one of their several charities instead. As to the wedding itself…very low key about 50 people invited from both families.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

My wedding expectations: buy your own bridesmaids dress (the ones I picked are $20 off amazon) and come to the wedding party dnd game in lue of batchlor(ette) party. Make your own dnd character, and let us know well ahead of time so we can get you 'gift bag' miniture and dice set to match your character (wacky voices welcome) And, let us know any dietary restrictions ahead of time so we can insure everyone can have a good selection of food. Music requests welcome, shoes choices are whatever you want, probably wont be visible in the wheet feild any way, so sneekers are an option. I might go for sneekers under my dress. Hair, optional. Might spring for makeup and nails if everyones interested. Granted, its a micro wedding on my parents farm, with two, maybe 3 bridesmaids, and 20 people maybe, and we might be making the food ourselves because love of my life wants to slow roast beef in an under ground pit? And there might be a night before the wedding perogi making party, because my family does that. So, yeah. Looking forward to pictures in the hayloft where the plum tree is trying to grow into the barn.

[@monicacurtis3986]

I want to be friends with you lol

[@wmdkitty]

Now that sounds like fun!

[@trishdiggins]

Sounds lovely!

[@fleurpouvior2967]

Unfortunatly, it might still be a few years out. Love of my life is currently living across the country dealing with a custody dispute. His daughter wants to dress as her favorite anime character (ruby from RWBY) as flower girl, and chuck roses at people, and I love the idea so much, and will happily buy or make her the outfit. Especially considering my dress design is inspired by another character in the show (noras dress from the school dance) and our wedding colors are red white black and yellow. Me and hubby met through the show. We fell out of the fandom a bit, but want to tie in what brought us together

[@viceliag3916]

That sounds pretty similar to my wedding, I just sent my bridesmaids a $20-something dress off amazon and a matching $10ish jacket (January wedding) and told them everything else was up to their own preference. No other demands, we barely even made a registry and only to avoid repeat gifts. It all looked amazing and I'm gonna cherish the pictures a lot more than I would if everyone had been made to fit a mile-long list of requirements, because people were _actually happy_ to be there.

[@kirtemoon529]

I can’t help but wonder if MOG is suddenly a psycho in-law to Older Sister because the OOPs family told her about the insane wedding plans…

[@viceliag3916]

She brought his ex to the wedding in the hopes that it would remind him that non-bridezillas are real and it's not too late for an annulment

[@soco13466]

Next update will be: The Divorce of nasty sister and the husband. Get the popcorn and a stiff drink, and enjoy.

[@ComaLies225]

Mother of the groom wore an off white dress and invited her sons ex? Looks like sis is gonna be in trouble for the next 18 years lol

[@astronautviolet153]

Story :1 NTA Op sister sounds so toxic and emotionally abusive and really needs therapy.

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm amazed she got a guy to propose to her in the first place. I'll give it six months before he runs for the hills.

[@emasters8619]

This is a military family. So, them stressing so hard about the mother needing to be away from home for 4 months is just nonsense to me. OPs brothers and now boyfriend will be away from any future children of their's for much longer if called upon to serve. Will they be traumatized for life over it?

[@tiggrainmagma8716]

Also it's not like Op's sister was neglected either. The aunt moved in to watch over her and give her attention solely to the big sis, since the older brothers were a handful and there was a nanny watching over OP.

[@cb9825]

I guess the sister's behaviour was already not quite "normal", the mom's absence just made it worse.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

I'm so surprised people are ignoring the fact that a 5-year-old girl was essentially ignored for 4 months. Her dad was taking care of her brothers. Aunt was taking care of an infant and she had nobody. And then they didn't get the poor child therapy? The family just failed her so miserably

[@silverfox1492]

The nanny was caring for the baby, the live in aunt was caring for the five year old

[@WhitneyDahlin]

‼️That's still no excuse for her behavior as an ADULT. She KNOWS right from wrong. Even if she was completely ignored and not taken care of, which we don't know even is true, that still doesn't suddenly absolve her of all responsibility for her bullying. My mother had a severe health problem and ended up losing one of her eyes. So literally for years while she was healing and going through the process my sister and I were shipped off to different relatives every few weeks. Both of us didn't become entitled monsters who despise each other. No her parents went so far the other way she became a spoiled brat. She's spoiled because they tried so hard to make up for it and she knew that and is taking advantage of that to continue to get what she wants. Childhood trauma isn't a shield that protects and absolves you of your crappy behavior for the rest of your life. Literally every single person on this planet who has ever lived has had something traumatic happen to them.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yeah SIL did need therapy, but sometimes people think you can solve such issues without it. Can't blame them, since therapy can be expensive.

[@jam2727]

While that would explain some of her behaviors, that does not excuse any of them.

[@jessicadias5014]

I don't think it was the abandonment from the PPD. I think that may have been a trauma but I think the true damage came from when the mom returned and began spoiling the sister rotten after she reacted badly to the separation. So it's not the trauma itself but more or less she was raised from a young age to be a toxic manipulator and now her brain is just wired that way.

[@elizahamilton5599]

$300 for a bridesmaid dress is ridiculous! Mine was only $100 and My sister let us pick our own dresses!

[@6Qubed]

so either I let you rob me OR I never have to worry about you trying to rob me ever again? damn that's a choice, lemme think on it

[@jaimelowe4246]

The age gap has nothing to do with the lack of sisterly bond, my little sister is 6 years younger than me.

[@jameyregier8054]

This girl seems so sweet. Her sister is beyond

[@kosopaty]

MIL is coming to the wedding in white dress, someone brings kids to child-free wedding, grooms ex appears and tries to snatch him - her sister managed to collect half of "wedding drama bingo", basically only missing someone proposing, but OP goes with "wasn't dramatic". I died.

[@kylecabrera142]

man I can't wait for the divorce update.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

Oh HELL No! You're not even done reading the list and already I'd have told her Strong Pass, Thx! LET her go NC. With 3 other siblings who would miss one?

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

My husband's sister tried to kill him multiple times when they were children. She left him in the middle of a freeway, tried to run him over with a horse, and pushed him out of the top of a barn. His family played it off that she wasn't REALLY trying to kill him. But now she freely admits to wanting to kill him. She says looking at him just made her jaw clench. His mom looks so sad when she hears the sister say this.

[@mztweety1374]

“I don’t have a problem with that but what you’re NOT gonna do is blackmail me, see ya!”

[@thuslydude]

They really ended their wedding with a trailer for the baby.

[@oldwelshlady6584]

My brother tried to kill me twice too, strangled me once and smothered me the other!! He was 2and a bit and I was a couple of weeks old. These too became funny stories.

[@charityquill4965]

Even though the mom enabled the sister, I still feel bad for her because sister used mom's bout of PPD against her, to make mom feel guilty for "abandoning" her. Having a mental health crisis is rough already, but having a loved one treat you like shit because of it is just so awful.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Fair point.

[@tamsel814]

As much as the sister may be an AH (have not yet finished the story) but a 5 year age gap is not too much to prevent a sibling bond. Whatever caused the lack of bond was not the age gap Okay the sister is crazy, may be the reason for the lack of bond. The only request that I found reasonable was the only cash or gifts from the registry. Cause some people are terrible gifters (I once got a salt and pepper set at 16)

[@ndawn90]

There's a nearly 12 year age gap between me and my baby brother, and about 10 years between me and my baby sister (I also have a middle sister who is about 3 years younger than me), and we're all super close. My nieces are about 5 years apart, and they are super close as well. The age gap is bull honkey.

[@CrystallynRose]

Is it normal for the whole bridal party to go to the wedding cake and catering tastings? Mine didn't.

[@joecole4623]

I hope the entitled bridezilla sister steps wrong on black ice with her stilettos.

[@SnowyWolborg]

OP would be best served to keep her ass at home and zone out on some internet surfing than work her nerves by dealing with a controlling "its all about me" type sister.

[@kyriacarica5862]

"Pay for MY super speshul, awesome princess wedding or you're NOT invited AND I'll cut you off!" ... Don't threaten me with a good time!

[@Nylak-Otter]

Story 1: Haha! Bye, sis!

[@wmdkitty]

Oh? _Updates?_ Yes, please! Ohhh my god, it just keeps getting _worse!_

[@zeroflight6867]

Last story, the ultrasound must have been a stock photo. Otherwise the timeline doesn't fit. Wedding at the end of September and a due date in June means she was max 1.5 months pregnant.

[@viceliag3916]

Wedding was in November, not September

[@standinthegsp6858]

“Banned from sister’s life for life”. UNTIL.... she needs a free babysitter or Op becomes wealthy & the sister needs money. I’d like to know how many people were willing to pay the $150 cover charge. Lol

[@damien678]

So that one commenter thinks the way to get through to the mother that enabled nightmare sister because of guilt... Is to add on to that guilt? She probably already believes she's a failure of a mother because of her PPD incident. What she needs is confidence and reassure. Self-esteem. NOT to have more shame on her shoulders.

[@ashlaraque4135]

I live in Ottawa! It’s a wonderful city, definitely a college town. So many great eats plus it’s right next to Quebec like not even 10 minutes away(depending what part of Ottawa you’re in). She’s going to have so much fun living her life here I’m excited for her!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@allanmoore4353]

I find it hard to understand anyone would actually WANT to attend the bride, or for that matter, the wedding. 🙄

[@kathleentate8343]

Kiss her on the forehead and tell her to have a nice wedding. Her demands are ridiculous

[@TheSwagger81]

Great story. Although the “I love Ottawa” as part of the update makes me believe this is fake. Nobody loves Ottawa

[@kainecrimm7048]

Do you know about a channel called background noise? It has your picture.

[@kateemma22]

Looks like the groom is another one marrying his mother - crazy!

[@littlegreycat]

OMG. So far past Bridezilla. Someone needs to do up a cost sheet

[@richa16x]

Damn you're on fire today!

[@diamcole]

Welp, guess you're going no contact then lol. Bye girl!

[@nightdweller6446]

Ooh, boy. Bridezilla is right. There's no way I'd be shelling out that level of money to attend this ridiculous excuse for a cash grab. Charging for attendance is insane

[@vidhead85]

Fiance "loves her spice" until it's turned on him and he can't handle it anymore

[@cresantspoon1204]

It's kind of funny how for decades families have been flipping the Bill for these wedding parties. I love it.. I'm all for a good time but 50-80 thousand. I don't like anybody that much.. lol..

[@selenarajovic3117]

Lord, 5000 for a honeymoon. You can spend a month in Europe in VERY nice accomodations for that money and still not run out....

[@jyvben1520]

bridezilla is pregnant, hope it is his child !

[@dm9078]

Don’t bridesmaids typically pay for their dresses. Other than that this bride is insane.

[@ruthgoddard6539]

Unless rich no 18 year old has that kind of money. And he'll no ,I would not pay to go to anyone's wedding. This is crazy.who would agree to any of this. She is fine crazy

[@Cjaj2]

ok I don't want this to come off as defending the sister but even if she left to get treatment the mother's absence caused a lot of hurt and neglect toward the sister and both the mother and father failed to help her

[@sachicocoa9013]

I feel sorry for any kids she has...

[@totallyjaded1658]

Its not really unknown for siblings to try get rid of new babies. Apparently i did the same at 4 years when my first younger brother came along. We got over it and again it is a family joke- prob wouldn’t be if i had succeeded 😂

[@lifewithlee6298]

Tried to kill mr as a baby 😅it’s a funny story 😅 yeah … Tharpy

[@staceyearle2817]

I see another update in the future 👀

[@minimochi2206]

5 is that big age gap? 😳 lol maybe it is for most people 🤔😅 I'm 10 & 13yrs years older than my siblings. Actually it makes the 5yrs gap between my other bro & I seem so very small, especially now that we're adults. 😄

[@wmdkitty]

Oh. Wow. _Woooooow._ Fork _all_ of that bullshirt. Bridezilla deserves a "kthxbai" and a lifetime of no contact.

[@vetaroberts3333]

Can you tell her no thank you. Not happening. Not going to be in wedding.

[@jadedjane6241]

The sister is insane, so I don't understand why OP comes off as being so holier than thou and annoying. How she just realized how toxic everyone was when people are telling her. Just be upfront and say you knew your sis is insane and wanted back-up for your parents. You deserve it! I don't like the whole pretending though.

[@johnrichards2508]

Size 12 is fat? On what planet?

[@lmyr101]

Sue the sister for your 25k

[@adamantium112768]

Old story

[@alexius23]

🦘🦘🦘🧙🏻‍♂

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

👋👋👋👋👋👋

[@karimylo4002]

Laughing at the horrid things one kid did to the other kid, yeah I know that trauma.